I lost my husband and have been grieving terribly. Shockingly, everyone scattered! Sometime later I asked a 'friend' if she would get together with me. . . I needed to talk. She said emphatically 'NO! I ONLY WANT TO BE AROUND HAPPY PEOPLE!' . . . I never saw her again. That was not the only instance of such rejection. There are no words.
I just lost my husband, best friend, guide and companion 12 days ago. We were together for 37 years and we were so close. We were one unit ! I have a overwhelming feeling that my life makes absolutely no sense, my existence is absurde and I don't belong in a world without him in it. The word sad doesn't even describe what i'm feeling, I just want to die asap ! But I know though that I will never suffer from a loss so much ever again and I will never allow myself to get attached to anyone ever again. When I recover from this I will be free because the worst has already happened.
Same feeling I have about the loss of my mom. Isn’t it empowering though to be able to endure and know that the worst has already happened and we couldn’t get hurt any less.
💔😭 I am truly sorry to hear this. Grief is beyond words. I validate how you feel. I feel the same. It is unbearable. My partner died in hospital on 24 July 2024. I had to watch him die alone when the machines were switched off. I was alone. I watched as my partners beautiful heart stopped beating. I was asked to leave the icu while the nurses and Dr unplugged my partner from all the machines around him after he died. I sat outside the hospital in utter shock. Alone. Then I could go back upstairs to the icu to a room where my deceased partner lay to say my final goodbye. It was terrible. That image is etched onto my soul. My partner looked terrible. His poor body was swollen from the drugs. He was a thin man normally, and his whole body was triple the size from fluids. His arms looked black like they had 3rd degree burns from all the drips, etc. I saw the tag on his toe with his name on it. My beautuful man. I cut a piece of his hair and took it because I knew he would be cremated. I wasn't going to let them take all of him away from me! Then a councellor came and we sat and spoke in the boardroom of the icu. I was numb, in shock, in distress, pain, grief, fear, anger, guilt, etc. I felt overwhelmed. In disbelief. I felt a million things surging through my brain, mind, body and soul. I felt anger too. Angry that this happened. My partner walked into the hospital and two and a half weeks later he died so unexpectedly, and I walked out the hospital with a bag of his few things.😭💔 There was only 1 person who reached out. Just one person that said he was my partners friend. People don't care. I live in Germany, in a foreign country, in a remote village. Nobody cares. After my partner died started an avalanche of procedures, document requirements, etc, decended on me. I am so stressed out. Worried. I cant sleep or eat. I can hardly speak German. And everything is very complicated here. Nothing is straight forward in this country. There are rules for everything. What happens when someone dies? The Gov want a copy of your partners marriage certificate, divorce certificate, ID, health insurance card, etc. I was so overwhelmed I could not think straight as I was and am grieving. My partners paperwork was in a huge mess boxes, bags, all over. He was German but did not ever explain anything to me, despite me asking him incase of an emergency. And that day arrived. Grief? What is grief? Nothing to anyone else except us. Nobody cares, I just had to do things without a clue as to what I was doing. I am not in my own country. I didn't have time to grieve, I was bombarded with procedures. I am sitting totally isolated in a foreign country. And getting bills left right and center. I am not employed and nor do I have a car to get out of this remote village with nothing in it. No shops. The closest place to buy food is 6km away. That might not sound far but try carrying a heavy ton of groceries and a bag of toilet paper under your arm. People don't think. They say things like don't worry, you must be strong. Chin up. Hang in there. Forget about your partner, he is gone now, you must carry on. The list of BS is endless. My attorney thinks grief is a mental illness. My attorney is a lady. I am shocked at how cruel and insensitive people actually are. I am struggling financially, I am struggling alone in a foreign country. Alone. Not one neighbour comes to see if I am okay or need anything. I could be dead inside this house and nobody will notice. I am in a state of total shock and I don't know how I am going to survive. I miss my partner so much it is a pain I can't describe. Im in disbelief. There are no pills to make the grief and heartache stop. There is no switch to turn on or off to stop grieving. I hate waking up to face another pathetic day. A repeat of the previous pathetic day. More bills. More no answers from the Government departments. When people want money that they want it asap. Chop chop. But when I need the Gov to hurry up so that I can get the next step done, oh no, the bureaucratic BS red tape takes forever!! Right now, I am just breathing. This is not a life. Who can I phone to get councelling? I need to pay a councellor. And where will I find an English speaking grief councellor in a remote village? I don't have an income to start taking 10 buses around just to get somewhere I don't even know. In my country I have my drivers licence. I was a Sales General Manger and drove everwhere. I am stuck here. I know how things work in my country. It is not like that in a foreign country. Everything is foreign and most people do not or will not speak English. On principle. Even if they learned it at school. I went to an adult language school to learn German. Up to B1. It is one of the most complex languages to learn. You don't learn the entire language in the Gov required integration courses from A1, A2, to B1 where you write a final exam and must talk in German with your team partner. I passed all that. It was so difficult. But because I had my partner by my side, encouraging me, I could do it. He didnt do the work for me. That would defeat the point of learning a new language. I did it. But I had the strength because he was by my side. What the Gov don't teach you is where all the Gov departments are. What all the procedures are. Etc. Why am I mentioning this? Because Germany is unique. They take in millions of refugees from war torn countries. Just 2 examples are Syria, the Ukraine. The Gov have a system. But NO support. We are floundering. I was born in another country, but I am also an EU citizen. I am not a refugee. But I feel like one and I know how they feel. Nobody cares, you are iced out by most Germans. You struggle to communicate and understand what is going on. I was in a class with the majority of adult students from the Ukraine. On the whole nice people. But we sat together for over half a year and could not talk to eachother. Everyone had that deer in headlights look in their eyes. Struggling. And if something as traumatic as a death occurs like when my partner died, my whole world and life has collapsed. I miss my partner so much I talk to his photo. I dread every moment of every day. If I can sleep I don't want to wake up. This feels like a never ending nightmare. My family are in another country. My mother told me it says in the bible that I should not grieve for more than 3 months. My mother. Have you ever heard of such hurtful advice? Just stop grieving after 3 months. 12 weeks. Ok sure. I will just flip the switch off mom. She never phones me to see how I am. She might send a Whatsapp to say how are you. I must phone her. And believe me, I want the comfort of my mother as old as I am. My brother never phoned me once after my partner died. Not once. Only my poor aunt phones now and then. She is struggling herself. My partners so called friend said he will help me. Words are free. He vanishes into thin air. I have to phone and ask when I need help. I try to put it off as long as possible because it looks like it irritates him to help me. When he helps he causes more problems. I repeat, people don't care. That is how selfish and self absorbed people are. It is only when it happens to them that they will find out just how devestating the death of a loved one is. I walked out of the hospital icu with a bag of a few things that belonged to my partner. A miserable bag of a few things. Not my beautiful partner. My family, my best friend, my everything. The hole in my chest is huge. I cannot see how I am going to get through this. My whole life is devestated. There is no joy in anything now. So all these people who say get help and work through this don't care that maybe we can't afford councelling. Maybe we can't afford to buy their books. Maybe our circumstances are really bad. Like mine. Like yours. Where do the displaced refugees go for councelling? Who do they speak to? They are grieving. Nobody cares. You are shoved into the programme. Sink or swim. I want to answer everyone who is suffering in this group but I can't get to everyone. All I can do is write this message and validate you, and everyone to say I understand. Maybe not exactly as we are all unique. I too am suffering grief that words can't describe. I am scared. I appreciate this video. But it is a 20 minute fix. It won't solve my situation. When I was listening to it I can say yes, it sounds good. Once it was finished nothing has changed. I am still grieving and struggling. I do ride a bicycle around this village. It doesn't bring me joy. The one thing it cannot bring me is someone to connect with. As humans we are pack animals. We thrive by connection. We get very sick when we are isolated. The covid time was terrible. I made it because my partner was with me. We had eachother. We get isolated when someone close to us dies. Some people like isolation. I do not. I don't need hundreds of people. I just want my partner whom I will never see again on earth. Ever. Until I die and go to the otherside. Everyone has their own beliefs about that. This place called earth is filled with so much sorrow. The sun shines. The flowers bloom. The butterflies flit from one flower to another. The birds sing. And humans suffer. The list of sorrow is endless. War. Hunger. Poverty. Murders. Etc. Why? No answer. I am the purple orchid. 💔😭 I am truly sad deep in my heart for your loss. And everyone elses. 🙏🙌💐
Very helpful! I lost my husband suddenly 4 months ago. Thought he was healthy and he passed quickly. So shock, fear, PTSD. Working on “letting go” is a journey. Lots of people “shy” away from grief.
Yes. My precious husband of 17 years just died suddenly from a massive heart attack. Tomorrow will be one month since he left. The most terrible grief one can imagine without actually dying from it. I understand I hope your recovering and not suffering so much. Jesus said there will be a resurrection of the dead back to earth. John 5:28-29
So much wisdom here. Thank you for sharing Julia. And thank you for facilitating this Action for Happiness. I look forward to watching this numerous times so as to continue to mine the nuggets of gold it contains. Brilliant work I'm really glad this came up as a suggestion to watch on UA-cam
I wish I knew this was available but has helped I’ve lost my mom my best friend and a man I thought would be a big part of my life They are still alive
Jesus loves you so much! Please allow me to share my best friend's story with you. This family knows where to turn in times of grief. Family Story Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day. My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening. That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are. Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you. His Story Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23) “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12) He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell. “For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price] “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8) Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today! “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9) Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him. “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b) Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour! “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28) Your Story What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son. The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready? “...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b) “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c) ****************************** This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless! Tribute to Ethan Lakey ua-cam.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/v-deo.html
I agree, there is a time & place for a stiff upper lip. To get thru the task-oriented things, you can’t just fall apart at every turn. Find the people you trust, yes.
wish i could move on and not dwell but it's simply impossible to ignore the pain/sadness. lost my twin brother to suicide in april 2023, i had struggles before it happened but now, as i'm sure u can understand, i'm completely broken. nothing makes sense, hopeless feeling, despair, anxiety & depression, feeling like in a trap and constantly punished, i go through the motions of eating and trying to join in with family but i feel so alone, weak, scared. no enjoyment in things, overwhelming love for my wife, children, family etc but it's almost like the love is hurting me and making me fearful of everything. i don't know how people get through this, i feel like i'm getting nowhere or getting worse. desperate, terrified, no peace. i try to rest but feel terrible, try to join in but feel terrible, look back and feel regretful, look forward and feel terrified, try to be present but feel broken. sorry to talk like this but i'm having days when it's all too much for me. bad sleep and always dreading the next day
@@maihoang8567 sending love and best wishes to you. i really hope you can find a way through it all. i think i'm slowly improving but it's a long road. look after yourself, im with you in spirit
I hadn't really put myself in the position of someone who'd suddenly lost a relative through COVID, or anything else really, but now that my youngest daughter who's at uni, has to self isolate due to her housemates testing positive for it, and knowing she has asthma and has had a cough for weeks, this video has bought the reality of what it must be like to me, and got me tearful. She sounded buoyant yesterday thankfully, so, I'm hoping I don't have to experience it in this instance. Thank you for your advice
I just lost my brother to Covid-19 and it was horrible as we weren't even there with him. It was only through video call that we saw him before he passed on...
I lost my mum in Apr 19 in the Maldives suddenly but not from COVID and didn’t get the chance to say goodbye as I live in Australia. I had planned to go spend 3 months with her in Aug 19 but was unable to go and still haven’t to bring closure. Been working on acceptance. I planted two rose bushes in her name, one on when she passed away and one the following year Mothers Day n I continue to do art n embroidery as a way of healing from the immense loss. May everyone find some form of therapy to help through different grief experiences that we are all collectively experiencing due to uncertainty of life itself. Much love to all here. Really awesome conversation here n absolutely love the knowledge my Julia
Living loss is a real thing. Nearly 40 years ago I felt such loss when my 1st marriage ended but people would say things like well no one died, you’ll find someone else etc. True no one had died but something in me had. In the years since both parents & someone else very close to me have died & the range of emotions were very similar to what I felt in divorce, though deeper & longer lasting. I was brought up to just get on with it, that reaching out for help was almost a weakness & that people have their own issues to deal with so why would they want to have my problems on top of their own. I guess I’ve become a bit of a dandelion.
I'm so sorry for your enduring your losses unsupported. I want you to know even 1 year after this post, and the many years of the losses, I pray you have through this conversation and hopefully you kept looking for others, found some support. Sending you Love and light. 🤗❤️ 🌸🌺
Maybe you could ask him whether or not he feels comfortable speaking about the loss and his grief to you, saying that you ask because you care about him and wish to understand that part of him, if he is ok with that.
Thank you so much for all the contents developed in this talk. It was worth listening, full of insights, love and connection healing, listening to our pain and accept help from others and rebuilt self love. So much appreciated Julia. Many blessings.
My father and i were estranged, i found out yesterday he is in the late stages of brain cancer. Im devestated. I have written him a letter and im going to see him this week. I have no idea what to do with myself. All I know, right now, I need to be with him. I need him to know I have forgiven him and have nothing but love and gratitude left for him. I am a woman because he was a father. We cant reverse things. We can only do what we want or need to today. Thats all I know. I feel he taught me that. It hurts like hell. I dont know when things will get easier and I dont exactly know how. But this talk was deeply helpful. Thank you so much for your work, your time, and your compassion. Its immensly appreciated.
I lost my husband and have been grieving terribly. Shockingly, everyone scattered! Sometime later I asked a 'friend' if she would get together with me. . . I needed to talk. She said emphatically 'NO! I ONLY WANT TO BE AROUND HAPPY PEOPLE!' . . . I never saw her again. That was not the only instance of such rejection. There are no words.
That is shocking , in your time of need! Clearly not real friends 😢
I understand only too well.
My husband passed 2 weeks ago and I just want God to take me.
I just lost my husband, best friend, guide and companion 12 days ago. We were together for 37 years and we were so close. We were one unit ! I have a overwhelming feeling that my life makes absolutely no sense, my existence is absurde and I don't belong in a world without him in it. The word sad doesn't even describe what i'm feeling, I just want to die asap ! But I know though that I will never suffer from a loss so much ever again and I will never allow myself to get attached to anyone ever again. When I recover from this I will be free because the worst has already happened.
Much love to you, my dear. 🩷
The exact same thing happened to me 2 weeks ago me and my wife we’re together for 36 years. I feel exactly the way you do. Sooo sorry for your loss
Same feeling I have about the loss of my mom. Isn’t it empowering though to be able to endure and know that the worst has already happened and we couldn’t get hurt any less.
I list my wife 3 weeks ago. Don’t see purpose or reason to go on without her.
May God comfort you and give you strength.
All will be well
I understand..I lost my husband 2 weeks ago and I feel the same 😢
..
💔😭 I am truly sorry to hear this. Grief is beyond words. I validate how you feel. I feel the same. It is unbearable.
My partner died in hospital on 24 July 2024. I had to watch him die alone when the machines were switched off. I was alone. I watched as my partners beautiful heart stopped beating. I was asked to leave the icu while the nurses and Dr unplugged my partner from all the machines around him after he died. I sat outside the hospital in utter shock. Alone. Then I could go back upstairs to the icu to a room where my deceased partner lay to say my final goodbye. It was terrible. That image is etched onto my soul. My partner looked terrible. His poor body was swollen from the drugs. He was a thin man normally, and his whole body was triple the size from fluids. His arms looked black like they had 3rd degree burns from all the drips, etc. I saw the tag on his toe with his name on it. My beautuful man. I cut a piece of his hair and took it because I knew he would be cremated. I wasn't going to let them take all of him away from me!
Then a councellor came and we sat and spoke in the boardroom of the icu. I was numb, in shock, in distress, pain, grief, fear, anger, guilt, etc. I felt overwhelmed. In disbelief. I felt a million things surging through my brain, mind, body and soul. I felt anger too. Angry that this happened. My partner walked into the hospital and two and a half weeks later he died so unexpectedly, and I walked out the hospital with a bag of his few things.😭💔 There was only 1 person who reached out. Just one person that said he was my partners friend.
People don't care.
I live in Germany, in a foreign country, in a remote village. Nobody cares.
After my partner died started an avalanche of procedures, document requirements, etc, decended on me. I am so stressed out. Worried. I cant sleep or eat.
I can hardly speak German. And everything is very complicated here. Nothing is straight forward in this country.
There are rules for everything. What happens when someone dies?
The Gov want a copy of your partners marriage certificate, divorce certificate, ID, health insurance card, etc. I was so overwhelmed I could not think straight as I was and am grieving. My partners paperwork was in a huge mess boxes, bags, all over. He was German but did not ever explain anything to me, despite me asking him incase of an emergency. And that day arrived. Grief? What is grief? Nothing to anyone else except us. Nobody cares, I just had to do things without a clue as to what I was doing. I am not in my own country. I didn't have time to grieve, I was bombarded with procedures. I am sitting totally isolated in a foreign country. And getting bills left right and center. I am not employed and nor do I have a car to get out of this remote village with nothing in it. No shops. The closest place to buy food is 6km away. That might not sound far but try carrying a heavy ton of groceries and a bag of toilet paper under your arm. People don't think. They say things like don't worry, you must be strong. Chin up. Hang in there. Forget about your partner, he is gone now, you must carry on. The list of BS is endless. My attorney thinks grief is a mental illness. My attorney is a lady. I am shocked at how cruel and insensitive people actually are. I am struggling financially, I am struggling alone in a foreign country. Alone. Not one neighbour comes to see if I am okay or need anything. I could be dead inside this house and nobody will notice. I am in a state of total shock and I don't know how I am going to survive. I miss my partner so much it is a pain I can't describe. Im in disbelief. There are no pills to make the grief and heartache stop. There is no switch to turn on or off to stop grieving. I hate waking up to face another pathetic day. A repeat of the previous pathetic day. More bills. More no answers from the Government departments. When people want money that they want it asap. Chop chop. But when I need the Gov to hurry up so that I can get the next step done, oh no, the bureaucratic BS red tape takes forever!!
Right now, I am just breathing. This is not a life. Who can I phone to get councelling? I need to pay a councellor. And where will I find an English speaking grief councellor in a remote village? I don't have an income to start taking 10 buses around just to get somewhere I don't even know.
In my country I have my drivers licence. I was a Sales General Manger and drove everwhere. I am stuck here.
I know how things work in my country. It is not like that in a foreign country. Everything is foreign and most people do not or will not speak English. On principle. Even if they learned it at school.
I went to an adult language school to learn German. Up to B1. It is one of the most complex languages to learn. You don't learn the entire language in the Gov required integration courses from A1, A2, to B1 where you write a final exam and must talk in German with your team partner. I passed all that. It was so difficult. But because I had my partner by my side, encouraging me, I could do it. He didnt do the work for me. That would defeat the point of learning a new language. I did it. But I had the strength because he was by my side.
What the Gov don't teach you is where all the Gov departments are. What all the procedures are. Etc.
Why am I mentioning this? Because Germany is unique. They take in millions of refugees from war torn countries. Just 2 examples are Syria, the Ukraine. The Gov have a system. But NO support. We are floundering. I was born in another country, but I am also an EU citizen. I am not a refugee. But I feel like one and I know how they feel. Nobody cares, you are iced out by most Germans. You struggle to communicate and understand what is going on. I was in a class with the majority of adult students from the Ukraine. On the whole nice people. But we sat together for over half a year and could not talk to eachother. Everyone had that deer in headlights look in their eyes. Struggling. And if something as traumatic as a death occurs like when my partner died, my whole world and life has collapsed. I miss my partner so much I talk to his photo. I dread every moment of every day. If I can sleep I don't want to wake up. This feels like a never ending nightmare. My family are in another country. My mother told me it says in the bible that I should not grieve for more than 3 months. My mother. Have you ever heard of such hurtful advice? Just stop grieving after 3 months. 12 weeks.
Ok sure. I will just flip the switch off mom. She never phones me to see how I am. She might send a Whatsapp to say how are you. I must phone her. And believe me, I want the comfort of my mother as old as I am. My brother never phoned me once after my partner died. Not once. Only my poor aunt phones now and then. She is struggling herself.
My partners so called friend said he will help me. Words are free. He vanishes into thin air. I have to phone and ask when I need help. I try to put it off as long as possible because it looks like it irritates him to help me.
When he helps he causes more problems.
I repeat, people don't care.
That is how selfish and self absorbed people are.
It is only when it happens to them that they will find out just how devestating the death of a loved one is.
I walked out of the hospital icu with a bag of a few things that belonged to my partner. A miserable bag of a few things. Not my beautiful partner. My family, my best friend, my everything.
The hole in my chest is huge. I cannot see how I am going to get through this. My whole life is devestated. There is no joy in anything now. So all these people who say get help and work through this don't care that maybe we can't afford councelling. Maybe we can't afford to buy their books. Maybe our circumstances are really bad. Like mine. Like yours.
Where do the displaced refugees go for councelling? Who do they speak to?
They are grieving. Nobody cares. You are shoved into the programme. Sink or swim.
I want to answer everyone who is suffering in this group but I can't get to everyone. All I can do is write this message and validate you, and everyone to say I understand. Maybe not exactly as we are all unique. I too am suffering grief that words can't describe. I am scared.
I appreciate this video. But it is a 20 minute fix. It won't solve my situation. When I was listening to it I can say yes, it sounds good. Once it was finished nothing has changed. I am still grieving and struggling.
I do ride a bicycle around this village. It doesn't bring me joy. The one thing it cannot bring me is someone to connect with.
As humans we are pack animals. We thrive by connection. We get very sick when we are isolated. The covid time was terrible. I made it because my partner was with me. We had eachother.
We get isolated when someone close to us dies. Some people like isolation. I do not. I don't need hundreds of people. I just want my partner whom I will never see again on earth. Ever. Until I die and go to the otherside. Everyone has their own beliefs about that.
This place called earth is filled with so much sorrow. The sun shines. The flowers bloom. The butterflies flit from one flower to another. The birds sing. And humans suffer. The list of sorrow is endless. War. Hunger. Poverty. Murders. Etc.
Why? No answer.
I am the purple orchid. 💔😭
I am truly sad deep in my heart for your loss. And everyone elses. 🙏🙌💐
Very helpful! I lost my husband suddenly 4 months ago. Thought he was healthy and he passed quickly. So shock, fear, PTSD. Working on “letting go” is a journey. Lots of people “shy” away from grief.
Very sorry for your loss. IT is so difficult when it happens so quickly no time for goodbyes or parting words.
Yes. My precious husband of 17 years just died suddenly from a massive heart attack. Tomorrow will be one month since he left. The most terrible grief one can imagine without actually dying from it.
I understand
I hope your recovering and not suffering so much.
Jesus said there will be a resurrection of the dead back to earth. John 5:28-29
I found this video extremely helpful and realistic. Thank you so much for arranging this.
I lost my beloved mother unexpectedly on October 6 2022 and I'm heartbroken 💔😢. She lived with me my entire life and I miss her so much everyday.
Awww. I'm so 😞.
Feel that people in hospital care home need at least one visitor to support both of them.Allowed visitor as someone dying but not to help them live.
Some calm British people speaking sense.
What a treat 😊👍🇬🇧
How do you cope with the loss of your beautiful grandchildren due to divorce 😨😓😓😓
So much wisdom here. Thank you for sharing Julia. And thank you for facilitating this Action for Happiness. I look forward to watching this numerous times so as to continue to mine the nuggets of gold it contains. Brilliant work I'm really glad this came up as a suggestion to watch on UA-cam
I wish I knew this was available but has helped I’ve lost my mom my best friend and a man I thought would be a big part of my life
They are still alive
Jesus loves you so much! Please allow me to share my best friend's story with you. This family knows where to turn in times of grief.
Family Story
Little did our family of six know that Friday evening, September 24th, 2021, would be the last night our family would be complete. We laughed together, played games, sang, and enjoyed listening as our 16-year-old son, Ethan, played the piano for us. I packed a lunch for Ethan for a church mountain hike he was going on the following day.
My mother (who was visiting from out of state) and I woke early with Ethan on Saturday morning. He hugged me and smiled, never pulling away or rushing me. He got in the car, waved, said he'd see me later and he loved me. It was hard to watch my "new driver" heading out on his own that morning. As Ethan pulled out of the gate, I turned to my mother and said, "It's just so hard letting go." Little did I know how much "letting go" I was really doing. That was the last time I saw Ethan. He did not make it home that evening.
That afternoon, a friend tried to contact my husband, leaving an urgent message to call him back. He tried several times to return the call to no avail. As we were preparing supper, an overwhelming feeling of deep concern for Ethan filled my heart. I quietly blinked back tears. I glanced out the window, half expecting to see a police officer pull up to the house, but no one arrived. However, within a few minutes, a patrol car DID pull into the driveway. In my heart, I feared the worst. My husband and I went out to meet the officer, who confirmed our fears. Hesitantly, he told us our son had fallen off of
a bluff and had succumbed to his injuries. Our hearts were crushed; they still are.
Yet, in all of our brokenness, deep, continual grief and loneliness, our family has such a blessed Hope and assurance that we will see our dear son and brother again. You see, when Ethan was a young boy, he was saved; he put his faith in Jesus alone to forgive his sins and to take him to Heaven when he died. He realized some very important truths from the Bible that he would want to share with you.
His Story
Everyone is a sinner. Sin is any violation of God’s Law. God is holy, just and righteous, and He cannot allow sin in His presence. Ethan realized that he - like all of us - had sinned; and his sin separated Him from God.
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; ” (Romans 3:23)
“Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” (Romans 5:12)
He understood that, because of his sin, he deserved to spend eternity in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death;” (Romans 6:23a) [Wages: price]
“But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” (Revelation 21:8)
Ethan believed that Jesus, God’s Son, paid the price for all sin when He died on the cross - because His sinless sacrifice was the only thing that could satisfy the just demands of a righteous, holy God. Jesus was buried in a borrowed tomb, but He arose the third day, triumphant over sin, death, and Hell. Jesus is alive today!
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16)
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Ethan was sorry for his sin, repented (turned), and received by faith the free gift that God offered to him.
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23b)
Because of this great salvation, Ethan lived his life serving Jesus. He worked hard to spread this Good News to the world. He is alive in Heaven with Jesus today; and because of this great HOPE in Christ, we know we will see him again soon - not because he was a great kid, but because of his faith in the great Saviour!
“And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)
Your Story
What about you? What if you had fallen to your death that day - What if you were to die today? Where will you spend eternity - Heaven or the Lake of Fire? There will not be any parties in the Lake of Fire. It is a place of eternal torment for those who reject God's Son.
The Word of God is very clear that there is only One Way to Heaven.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6)
We did not know that Ethan would step into eternity that day; however, because he put his faith in Jesus alone for his salvation, Ethan was ready to go. Some day - perhaps today - you will take your last breath here on earth, and you will step into eternity. Where you spend eternity is determined by what you do with Jesus Christ. Will you accept Him or reject Him? You are not promised another day or another breath. Eternity begins soon - Are you ready?
“...Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved…” (Acts 16:31b)
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13)
“(...behold, now is the day of salvation.)” (2 Corinthians 6:2c)
******************************
This testimony has been made into a tract form as well, so if you or your church are interested in having them to pass out, please go to libertyfaith.net and you will find the contact info there. God bless!
Tribute to Ethan Lakey
ua-cam.com/video/EhobcQZ6Qb8/v-deo.html
I agree, there is a time & place for a stiff upper lip.
To get thru the task-oriented things, you can’t just fall apart at every turn.
Find the people you trust, yes.
wish i could move on and not dwell but it's simply impossible to ignore the pain/sadness. lost my twin brother to suicide in april 2023, i had struggles before it happened but now, as i'm sure u can understand, i'm completely broken. nothing makes sense, hopeless feeling, despair, anxiety & depression, feeling like in a trap and constantly punished, i go through the motions of eating and trying to join in with family but i feel so alone, weak, scared. no enjoyment in things, overwhelming love for my wife, children, family etc but it's almost like the love is hurting me and making me fearful of everything. i don't know how people get through this, i feel like i'm getting nowhere or getting worse. desperate, terrified, no peace. i try to rest but feel terrible, try to join in but feel terrible, look back and feel regretful, look forward and feel terrified, try to be present but feel broken. sorry to talk like this but i'm having days when it's all too much for me. bad sleep and always dreading the next day
I lost my daughter Christmas day and I feel the same as you friend .
@@maihoang8567 sending love and best wishes to you. i really hope you can find a way through it all. i think i'm slowly improving but it's a long road. look after yourself, im with you in spirit
Yoga helps
I hadn't really put myself in the position of someone who'd suddenly lost a relative through COVID, or anything else really, but now that my youngest daughter who's at uni, has to self isolate due to her housemates testing positive for it, and knowing she has asthma and has had a cough for weeks, this video has bought the reality of what it must be like to me, and got me tearful. She sounded buoyant yesterday thankfully, so, I'm hoping I don't have to experience it in this instance. Thank you for your advice
I just lost my brother to Covid-19 and it was horrible as we weren't even there with him. It was only through video call that we saw him before he passed on...
@@francesscajoan3037 So sorry for your loss of your brother.
1
I lost my precious brother to Covid almost 2 years ago. My life will never be the same again
I lost my mum in Apr 19 in the Maldives suddenly but not from COVID and didn’t get the chance to say goodbye as I live in Australia. I had planned to go spend 3 months with her in Aug 19 but was unable to go and still haven’t to bring closure. Been working on acceptance. I planted two rose bushes in her name, one on when she passed away and one the following year Mothers Day n I continue to do art n embroidery as a way of healing from the immense loss.
May everyone find some form of therapy to help through different grief experiences that we are all collectively experiencing due to uncertainty of life itself. Much love to all here. Really awesome conversation here n absolutely love the knowledge my Julia
Living loss is a real thing. Nearly 40 years ago I felt such loss when my 1st marriage ended but people would say things like well no one died, you’ll find someone else etc. True no one had died but something in me had. In the years since both parents & someone else very close to me have died & the range of emotions were very similar to what I felt in divorce, though deeper & longer lasting. I was brought up to just get on with it, that reaching out for help was almost a weakness & that people have their own issues to deal with so why would they want to have my problems on top of their own. I guess I’ve become a bit of a dandelion.
DANDELIONS HACE FREAR RESILIENCE
I'm so sorry for your enduring your losses unsupported. I want you to know even 1 year after this post, and the many years of the losses, I pray you have through this conversation and hopefully you kept looking for others, found some support.
Sending you Love and light. 🤗❤️ 🌸🌺
A very special session full of wisdom and compassion. Thank you
Thank you! 💕❣️💗💖💞
Happiness an Brexit ,THIS GOES NOT TOGETHER. !!!
Love the bookshelf arranged by color on the spine.
I find this really helpful. Thank you so much 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Amen
I am dating a man that has lost his wife 2 1/2 years. How much can I ask him about his grief?
Maybe you could ask him whether or not he feels comfortable speaking about the loss and his grief to you, saying that you ask because you care about him and wish to understand that part of him, if he is ok with that.
Choose the right people💜
I joined the live!💜💜🌻👩🏽🦼
Herpes is forever
Thank you so much for all the contents developed in this talk. It was worth listening, full of insights, love and connection healing, listening to our pain and accept help from others and rebuilt self love. So much appreciated Julia. Many blessings.
Thank you for yet another outstanding event.
Amazing thank you
My father and i were estranged, i found out yesterday he is in the late stages of brain cancer. Im devestated. I have written him a letter and im going to see him this week.
I have no idea what to do with myself.
All I know, right now, I need to be with him. I need him to know I have forgiven him and have nothing but love and gratitude left for him.
I am a woman because he was a father.
We cant reverse things. We can only do what we want or need to today. Thats all I know.
I feel he taught me that.
It hurts like hell. I dont know when things will get easier and I dont exactly know how.
But this talk was deeply helpful.
Thank you so much for your work, your time, and your compassion.
Its immensly appreciated.
Sending you love, heartfelt compassion, and courage. xx
🩷🩷🩷