There is loneliness in every ideology or system. But the way it manifests itself can differ from one to the other. This isn't to say loneliness doesn't exist outside of Capitalism, merely that it takes on a different form inside of it. Creating this type of video takes a LOT of work; to support more like it you can support me at: www.patreon.com/ClarkElieson
This issue is not just a problem with capitalist culture, but instead with industrialized civilization. All industrialized civilizations that have existed have this problem.
I'm quite baffled by the argument that capitalism has not had a positive effect on the masses. I suppose that you mean within the frame of this video. Do you instead mean generally?
It has always been my experience that those who say that everyone is defined by brands are most just talking about themselves and people like them. they describe their own condition not understanding it is not universal nor even a majority. Simply the majority of the targeted culture, because that target is the one so enraptured. In so the subset is mistaken as the whole, as the whole is not brought into the global frame observed.
I feel like it was really the quarantine that made parasocial relationships so prevalent. With all of us trapped inside and unable to socialize with our real friends, livestreams were a way to simulate human interaction. Then all that attachment stuck around, even after lockdown was lifted.
There was a small spark when digital media was born but what really sky rocketed this evolution was the iPhone in 2006. The death of history died when the iPhone change the digital land scape forever as apps and platforms replaced personal forums and specific places and websites for different purposes for individuals. What happened was not just a quicker medium for spectacle but a less personalized spectacle and a more corporatist spectacle. If you really wanted my opinion capitalism isnt the source of all these issues its the Corporation of all media blended into an app that is easily accessible and controlled by a small group of people. Something like google or apple being able to coral billions onto apps destroyed the millions of different websites and forum culture and forced all those individual boxes into one large warehouse. Thus eradicating the diversity of ideas and reducing the amount of options one had. Then billion dollar corporations seized control over isp's and made it virtually impossible to create something outside the purview of these corporations. Anything that can potentially endanger the corporation is thus swiftly eradicated very quietly because there is no longer large platforms not controlled and packaged.
Clearly, you didn't work retail through that bullsh*t or else you'd be more than happy to be cut off from the world right now. It's why all I do anymore is watch youtube😂😂
Parasocial relationships have existed a long time. From the self-insert fanfic and fanartists, to those who would have fantasies about characters from books and television being part of their life, it can often be "easier" to avoid rejection if you simply "purchase" a type of interaction you can control. Similar to those who would rather not have a romantic relationship and stay home with their body pillow, these kinds of pseudo-interactions can serve as a comforting or safe place to avoid the pain of rejection or judgement. I've also noticed that a lot of this seems to be tied to a higher degree of people being sheltered from negative interaction and learning how to work through it. There is such a huge focus on positive "customer service" level interactions where everyone is always faking happiness and excitement, that even in the workplace, school, activities, etc, there's a pressure to project a false version of yourself. You can't even necessarily be "real" with your friends about a lot of things, as this can affect other sectors of your life. In a lot of ways, I segmented most of my interaction based on the group I was in. My friends in sports were friends for those things. My friends in arts or music shared those interests. My gamer or online friends were a separate bucket. Each group may only know a certain part of my personality and who I am, but as I get older, I do often wonder whether any of it matters. Sure, I have older friends who I have known longer, but exactly what about them or myself matters? I sometimes wonder if I have started to get to the end of any and all topics I can bring up with other people? Will I finally get to the "end" of what makes me an interesting or worthwhile person? I have so many hobbies, and there's always the pressure to be out with friends or out doing things together with people, yet there never is enough time. I think at the end of the day we must look at what satisfies ourselves above all else. There is what you "should" do but it is not always going to satisfy everyone. Trying out different things, learning to survive negative or friction-filled interactions, and build resilience is key. The world may be lonely sometimes, but no matter where you go, you can make friends, or talk to new people, or choose something new to explore. It is overwhelming and exciting, so be kind to yourself.
Your first paragraph made me think of the mid fifties guy who still plays with Star Wars toys and does play acting. Just another form of heavy drinking, it's an escape from reality, and a manufactured identity.
I notice that some of the acquaintances I train with put on such a front most of the time... they prance around bragging about how "weird" they are, and then behave like the most boring person ever for the remainder of the time. It's so obvious that they will not let me come near "them" -- no matter how much I myself try to un-mask -- and, ultimately, it destroys any foundation for a friendship, to me. I have hung around these people for long enough now to be pretty sure that we're not ever going to develop into anything other than acquaintances who share a hobby.
Thank you for this comment! I have profound feelings about this topic as well, given how I have only recently "awakened" myself from the prolonged, escapist haze of maladaptive day-dreaming - the times where I indulgently retreated into the world of social media, fan art and fanfiction and avoid altogether the searing bleakness of real-world relationships. I had been highly conscious of the sense of self-sabotage such action had brought me all the way through - but it was only until one moment finally, where I have had enough all the mental congestion and saturated stasis from such escapist coping mechanism, and decided that some pains from the real world - particularly of rejection, judgement and confrontation with people - are worth to live through. Not because I deserve those pains, but rather that I need them as the "keys", the "harder pills to take" in order to truly uncover my potentials in the world of real-life relationships, the people I can meet and the things that I can truly learn about, and from them. Parasocial relationships and the sense of stasis when indulging in them have a lot to tell about one's self-inhibition, and it also indexes the latent need for self-actualisation, the act of actually going out ("touching grass", as they say) to embrace the world of its round sides and sharp edges. I personally believe that you can never 'truly' know another person as much as you do to yourself - and so the relationships you form with the people around you are like forming a Venn diagram - you see how much you overlap with the other person, it could be small, or it could be a lot - I think all those kinds of "shared" domains within your relationships will always be in some way vital, in inspiring to varying degree different aspects of your life. I am not sure if this could be an antidote to your concerns regarding the "segmentation" of self divided across the friend groups you're in - but from my perspective for the least, it is pretty much a normal thing. Also, you and all the other people are always changing, at every second, every period, so I bet that "overlapping" area of relatability and intimacy you share with your friends will often so change over time. And so across the myriads of friend groups you form, there will be chances of further progression and intimacy, or regression and fall-out. It's all seasons, and stuff. You are perhaps the only "constant" since you are phenomenologically you, the perennial embodiment of your perspective and experiences.
my ex of 7 years got so obsessed with kpop she had a twitter account with hundreds of thousands of tweets about these guys who didnt even know her whilst i became generally an afterthought in her life despite everything i tried to keep things together. ultimately there'll still always be a part of me that thinks i shouldve been the one to stop her from going down that route, like it was my responsibility. but it pretty much ruined everything between us in a more roundabout way. parasocial relationships are potent chums, be careful
i can relate and understand your ex. I'm also into kpop. I think majority hook to kpop because it's something we will never see in everyday life people. They have the perfect image, they have everything we can ask for. but the only problem is that they don't know us. there can be healthy parasocial too, if you know your limits, and they are there to be inspirational. Some become obsessed that they worship them even they see something wrong they cover it up. Some are fakes and still believing them. They are the way of escape from this boring life. i think
Here’s what I learned about true friendships. In order to form a genuine friendship with someone, you need to learn the common and different traits of that person, and learn to take the good with the bad, the emotional mask they wear and their true self that is sometimes darker than you think. The other person hopefully does the same with you and so on. The thing with streamers, is that all you know about them is the good, bright, comforting side, and not the nuanced truth behind the screen. Granted, this isn’t the streamer’s fault, especially for money making purposes, this bright side reputation rakes in the dough. I genuinely believe some streamers are sarcastic, easygoing, and kind in real life, as on screen, but that’s not all that makes up a person. When a person looks at only the positives of another, it leads them to be terribly unprepared for the negatives, possibly leading future or current friendships to drift away. Positive/common traits are what sparks the first impression for a genuine relationship, but its learning to value other people’s differences that keeps that fire going.
Yea, their dark part is just as important as their better part. The problem is that, that part isn't accepted by anyone anymore, it's called toxic or some other vaguely negative term, when in reality it's just the opposite side of the coin of the good stuff. Sure there's purely negative things with no positive upside, but I'm not talking about those.
This really describes the situation I'm going through. I'm irrationally afraid of people and their unpredictability, specially that bad side. If I'm in a relationship with someone, I NEED to know that they'll share my ideas and that they are calm and nice. I am terrified of people that have a "short fuse". However, at the same time, I'm painfully self conscious of my OWN anger issues. I don't express my anger, because as I mentioned I don't want to be angry, so I repress a lot of it. This means that I end up sulking a lot and just generally feeling really numb and pessimistic, which drives people away. I end up feeling guilty, feeling like I don't have the right to form relationships yet because I'd just make people sad. So I'm just stuck.
I was taught not to give my loyalty to brands /company's or celebrities as a kid because it's all an illusion and it's better to be loyal to morality and the principles you live by. I think it's important to teach this to your children so that they have integrity and behavior like this doesn't appeal to them
Well that depends, how far do you have to go for it to be an obsession? Like, some people watch a streamer or whatever almost every day just because they enjoy their content, or find it educational, or both. So, what do you mean by obsession? Like, creepy stalker stuff?
@@BlueTyphoon2017 watching someone every single day is obsession… even if it’s not like stalker ish, wanting to only watch one person every day is an obsession
I'm french but I had never heard of Guy Debord and Jean Baudrillard. True visionaries. About brands, it's more than Parasocial. When people fight over which brand is the best, it's a religion. And influencers are just the apostles of this brand. Because brands are not a person. They are like a superior entity for consumers (Yeah the analogy with religion is a bit weird but I found it relevant). Sorry to be so pessimistic but I'm not sure we might liberate ourselves from its lonesome. Some will be able to but not everyone. As long as the world remained in this state : Mass consumption, Technology for entertainment, Parasocial rise. I'm afraid it might get worse (I am not a specialist so I can be wrong). Otherwise banger video 🔥
Exactly. take the iPhone for exemple; their super efficient marketing turned their product into a "necessary" luxious product for the best "quality" people. In middle-school or high-school lot of people unconsciously base their first impression on what kind of phone the other have.
I think a big issue is that, while I think many people are critical of social media and parasocial relationships and celebrity worship ect, people are not bringing any answers. It's just criticisms. like you should not do this, etc. as you say, people go to these because there already is a problem. same with alcoholics. they often develop this because they are already having something not working well in their life. the world is a very isolating place esp to a lonely person, and when someone says so, i feel it's often met with judgement, like it's because you inherently are not doing something right. Or at least implied. Anyways, this is like a really big topic that could lead to even bigger ones.. so i will leave it at that. (a side note.. a para social thing perhaps.. but i see you've deleted your older videos.. ahem.)
Thank you! Like, I've been lonely my whole life. I've never had a lot of friends because no one wanted to be friends with me. Hell, I felt left out half the time (all of this was most likely die to my depression and having no self-esteem--thanks, Dad! 🙃👍) Also, I'm an introvert and have social anxiety. I can only spend so much time around people before I become tired. I don't go to parties where I don't know anyone because how am I supposed to start a conversation with strangers who like small talk only or things that I'm unfamiliar with. I wish they would just give us answers instead of making us feel bad. Jesus. Maybe I should just get a dog and go on a fucking road trip.
@@moonwaterflower As someone who spent 10 years of her life locked on her house with minimum interaction an who developed an anxiety disorder thanks to that and then later on got diagnosed with ASD, believe me, the only solution for this is to get out there and stop worrying that you come out as "odd" to others. Social anxiety usually shames you into thinking people think you're a weirdo, a nuisance, and if you were bullied for minor things on highschool or formed your social perception from heated internet threads where people call each other every insult under the sun then yes your brain really starts believing that that's how the world works and that there's no place for you out there. But that's a big lie. It took me years to practice. Change doesn't come to you instantaneously, and I had to unlearn a lot of unhealthy coping and warped perceptions I had but if you get help, through therapy, and make an effort little by little, eventually, it gets easier and you stop feeling so lonely... You realize a lot of people out there are weirdoes like you, and they manage just fine, so why don't you? Now, I've said this to a lot of people, and most of them ignore me or tell me it's just too hard and that they can't do it and I can't help but sympathize because I also used to believe it was useless, but believe me. This is the only solution. No magic pill will make you get along instantaneously with others or make you likeable and calm and smart and witty, you actually HAVE TO WORK HARD TOWARDS HEALING. Change doesn't come to you, you work towards change.
@@moonwaterflower very late to the party, but I agree with what Homo Demon said. I also used to have anxiety and depression back in high-school and early college. I used to dread talking to other people and got really stressed and nervous when I had to do it. The worst thing was that I felt super lonely and left out. I wished for things to be different, but never did anything to start changing things. I remember I used to be super into anime at the time (no hate towards anime. I still watch it every now and then). I especially loved stories where the protagonist was lame, but once they moved to a new school/city they became popular (or at least more social). I used to daydream about moving places and finding the place where I belonged. I thought I just needed to find the people who "got me". Needless to say, that never happened. I even got to attend other schools, only for the same pattern to repeat. At the end of the day, the only way to change things around was to start putting in the effort. The first step was to take care of my mental health. Many people recommend therapy, but as a broke college student, that wasn't really possible. I eventually started journaling my emotions, and that gave me a glimpse into what the real issues were. From there, I just worked on each issue one by one. After that, I had to basically torture myself and force myself to talk to people. Say hi when getting to class, when passing strangers on the street. Force myself to make small talk. Was it uncomfortable? Totally. Were some conversations awkward as hell? Absolutely. Each small interaction felt like it drained me, but I kept pushing myself cuz, with every single interaction, I could feel that I was starting to get it, and I eventually became comfortable at doing it. I know it probably sounds like I'm just blowing my own trumpet, but I think it's necessary for people to see that there's no easy way for things to change. We live in times where we want everything to be convenient. I'm also guilty of it, too. But skills - whether be social or any of other type - are things that you have to work towards. I know it's hard, but if you truly want things to change, you're gonna have to sacrifice your comfort to achieve it. And have in mind that, even when you start breaking out, it's not the end yet. Just like any other skill, you have to keep putting it into practice or else you start forgetting it. I sometimes regress to old bad habits and I have to snap myself out of it. I really hope that you are able to succeed in your personal journey.
thats what im surprised the video didnt answer, or mention like yeah, its an issue, but its one that happens because another issue, yet theres no mention on how to fix it, how to deal with it, possible alternatives, etc its just...'this is an issue' and thats it dont get me wrong, i love the video, but i had expected it to suggest more might be a lack of good answers on what could be done, but it kinda sucks its not mentioned at all then
i was really lonely after ending some of my toxic relationships and also really bored, so i started watching streams just to Discover how they work and why are they so popular but instead i made myself parasocial relationships and a really unhealthy lack of sleep than i started losing other friends, i was too tired to go with my friends out but i still needed social interactions so i watched the streams and i was stuck in this cicle for months now and i'm trying to stop bc it's just really unhealthy
i hope it gets better for you, i've been ignoring so many people in my life due to school, then i end up feeling bad about not contacting them, hence now i feel as i shouldn't even contact them, which makes me feel worse for not contacting them for even longer, its an endless loop (also nice pfp btw, silver is the most underrated character in the sonic franchise)
Same boat. Got out of a bad relationship and had to move in with my dad in a rather remote town. I haven't hung out with someone in nearly 2 years.and I still go out to meet people but nothing really works. So I've started watching streams more and more just to not feel lonely and crazy, but it's just kind of become something I'm dependant on. Not that I actually feel like any of these people are my friend, it just helps to have some noise on. And yet I feel like a giant creep. They make a career out of getting all these lonely people to spend their time watching them and then get surprised and mad when some get obsessed. And our capitalist society just makes it harder and harder to really connect with people even when you try. And everyone just acts like parasocial behavior just comes from nowhere, crazy people that's all.
i’d also just like to tack on that being lonely doesn’t make you a bad person, & that it isn’t embarrassing to be lonely or engage in parasocial relationships to help with that
As a viewer that relates to this heavily, it's not twitch or streamers being the problem. There are deep rooted societal issues that have led to loneliness. Being not lonely and having a lot of friends is a lifestyle that takes time. As a lonely person, you get used to the silence after a while. You'll find things you like to do, you start taking care of yourself, talk to the people that are easy to reach out to more (like your family or that friend who also seems to be alone). I don't feel lonely anymore, even if I am alone. To cope, I even journal my day because I have no one to talk about it to.
I'm extremely lonely I don't have a single friend and haven't had one for years. Though unlike alot of people I haven't convinced myself that the streamers I've watched are my friends or something can't say entirely why I guess it's that I personally believe it just wouldn't be a genuine relationship of any kind it'd just be one sided and I don't want that. That's why I also avoid donating to them I feel like giving them money and having them maybe read out a message you sent makes you more likely to do it again just to get the feeling that they acknowledged your existence for a moment that also leads you to not being good financially as well. Obviously deep down I probably do wish we could be friends but that's just not realistic so I don't fool myself into believing it. I imagine it'd make my life far more miserable than it already is.
Never taught about it before, But donations are basically friendship prostitution, As streamers will usually acknowledge and interact more with someone the bigger the donation they give is Also, Hope life gets better for you my guy
streamers are not your friends, streamers are not your potential partners, streamers aren't even synced in real-time. Streamers at best, friendly impromptu performance artists and entertainers in an open theater. Don't entrap yourselves.
theres so many videos on parasocial relationships and why theyre bad, but all of them are unfulfilling as theres this overwhelming feeling that parasocial relationships are a symptom of a bigger problem rather than a problem on its own. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words once again
The society of the spectacle by Guy Debord and simulation and Simulacra by Jean Baudrillard were the basis for my thesis project in college. Initially when i read the book , i found myself feeling hopeless and depressed because i began recognizing the spectacle all around me, in each choice I made and in all actions I took. The question of whether it was even possible to escape and have authentic experiences began to plague me... until i began viewing the spectacle as a haze rather than a bubble and tried expanding moments of clarity that I found while pursuing hobbies I loved and having real conversations with friends. I suppose in modern times freedom from the spectacle is impossible but sometimes rebellion in the form of aimless walks and introspection in a society that forces you to consume or be consumed, can allow you to gain recalibrate and find your own purpose in the madness.
Loneliness is only felt when there’s someone or something for you to miss. If you don’t miss anything, you won’t feel lonely. On my experience. I’m a hermit level anti-social, haven’t spoken to my friends in 3 years. Part of that is the pandemics fault. But I feel fine. Free from social obligations to meet with someone, and so on. Like I can breathe easier. Not sure if my condition is another psychological disorder… what is psychological order anyway? How do we measure that?
@@jenniferhartranft3394 Your last 2 sentences only prove that psychology is science. Philosophy isn’t science, it’s conjecture, that I love so much. Psychology is determined through testing and so on, like any other science. We just don’t know much about the brain yet, so our conclusions can change.
Evolution works through disorder and mutation. A lack of needing human interaction might be a gift in this time, but in the past or future, we don't know. Maybe people like you will be the people who thrive in the world as it is and is going to be, while the rest go on a downward spiral.
@@orbismworldbuilding8428 Nah, I don’t think so. There’s no reason to thrive if you can’t share the joy or misery of it with another. I may not suffer from loneliness myself, but I also don’t have any goals in life. Just hedonistically enjoying my days until the sweet release of death. This mutation itself won’t persist long either. Loneliness doesn’t produce children. The only time my mutation will help is when we achieve immortality and go on to travel the stars for billions of light years. But without goals, I’m not really inspired to do all that either. lol. There’s just no winning with my condition. But it’s fine, it is the life I choose for myself.
I went on a walk with my friend earlier today c: we had a look at three different parks and then we bought lunch. It was very fun, I'd highly recommend you do something similar if you can.
This makes sense. I know a influencer personally who exploits this. I was told that they didn’t have any problem trauma dumping on fans that though they were friends because they could just block them if they were done. They were abandoning their real family for fake relationships. It’s very sad.
All of this! I've recently realised that often when I watch a film, particularly if its critically acclaimed or "arty", I find myself focusing more on developing some kind of nuanced (but still "correct") opinion on it, for when I have a conversation about it in the future. I sometimes feel like people's intellects are increasingly becoming a product in themselves for the purpose of some kind of social capital, in place of genuine meaningful interactions. I also think we all need to forget about how we can become individuals, or gatekeep certain things to keep being different to others- community is more important, and I really think individuality comes naturally when it is nurtured by these genuine connections with others!
When my best friend of over 20 years seriously betrayed my trust, I gave up on the expectation of ever having “friends” again. I’m always friendly and supportive of others I interact with but I have zero expectations of them and make it abundantly clear that I value my own space and privacy.
But I find it difficult to make friends, and when I do, I’m usually just background noise. I can’t say I’m really close to anyone and these people see me as that guy no one invited.
@@FuchsiaRosa that is not true, you want your friends to know you fully. don't assume people dislike you for disagreeing, those are just shitty people. what me and my friends do is argue and disagree nearly all the time, and it doesn't weaken the friendship, on the contrary it strengthens it.
Try to find real friends, there’s a difference between people who accept your existence and true friends who want to be around you. They’re out there, tho there’s no simple solution to finding them
The thing with social media is that in the beginning it was seen as this wonderful new product that would allow everyone to show off their individuality with the world. Fast forward to present day and people's value and the "clout" they receive seems to come mostly from how accurately and closely they are able to follow a specific trend. What was once seen as the advent of individuality to an extent that no one could have previously imagined slowly became another mechanism to enforce conformity on a massive scale.
4:43 Felt disconnected long before any social media btw. Thought it was important to make a note of, cause we often assume social media causes loneliness... and for me it just exzaserbates(no idea how to spell that) my pre-existing inclination to be alone.
I think there are two parts to modern loneliness. One that the internet helps you find groups of people easier, but because it's the internet it's often limited how much you can interact with that group so the relationships often stay surface level. The second part is that real life social interactions are more risky, mainly if they go bad you have to deal with them physically. You don't like a person you live close to then you have to move. Your on a bus with somone you don't like you have to stay there till the next stop. I think this drives people away from in person interactions unless they need too and go for the safer online interactions where they can ignore or block people. A new community is a click away.
Yeah that study is very true. If you have friends very early on in life, you most likely will for the rest of your life. If you dont, you probably never will, because of a combination of people seeing you differently and you not trusting or easily getting close to other people.
Appreciate your leveled presentation on this subject. Your points are made confidently and with a tone that invites discussion rather than heated argument. It makes me wonder if there is a way to turn this system of the spectacle against itself, where a spectacle could use their branding as a way to guide people toward a healthier view on their relationships with brands and content creators.
The healthy view can literally only happen when that creator doesn't exist and the people in the chat then have to interact with each other. The healthy view can only happen when the persons consuming the content are already not lonely, because it prevents all of the actions that would lead them to more loneliness.
A friend of mine is deep in the throws of a para social relationship with a female Vtuber. Myself and this friend started watching one Vtuber stream because she was streaming a mobile game we were into at that time and he started to develop a weird sort overstated friendship with someone who based on time zones defiantly lives far away and who exclusively Vtubes so we don’t know what they look like. I’m aware of the concept of para social relationships so I never make these kinds of interactions out as more than they are. My friend however, has moved through 5 different female vtubers in similar relationships with varying levels of infatuation. His current favorite dominates most of his time. He has nearly cut ties with all previous Vtubers and also myself and our friend group. He won’t answer messages and always claims to be busy but will almost always be In that Vtubers chat or playing a game with her on stream. I don’t think she did anything given his previous behavior but he has gone all on her. We have even tried to set up offline plans to hang out and get dinner but he cancelled at the last second and was in her chat. When called out he gets very defensive and tries to gaslight us into never reaching out which is plainly not the case. It’s frustrating but he is a adult and I have taken the route of letting him do what he’s going to do and focus on other friends. As they say everyone can benefit from a bad example and he is mine to remind me to not get wrapped up with streamers.
platforms like Bubble sadly profit so much from pushing boundaries between artist and fans by giving the illusion that artists are messaging a fan directly… it’s sad seeing my friends get so into it tbh
yeah…. i got out of it once but then got sucked right back in by accident. i’m still trying to get out. it’s so hard to escape it once you’re trapped but the knowledge of what’s happening is a massive step forward
Hollow social strain caused by a dystopian disconnect from a reality of what friendships are replaced by an idea of ideal relationships that can be switched on and off at will. 😒
So many lonely people. In my experience a good antidote is the search for meaning. I enjoy a good parasocial relationship. But I keep my head straight by diving deep into other people's motivations. That usually requires high bandwidth face to face communication. There are no shortcuts to finding true meaning with others. With that balance I can then get back to screen time for more addictive parasocializing and indulgence in modernity :)
Oh man, i was not expecting you to reference Guy DeBord but it instantly came to mind as i was watching this. So i was hyped when you brought up the spectacle
I often see comments like "I'm really struggling with depression and your videos help me get through it." I feel like this is very unfair for the uploaders because it places a form of responsibility for others mental health on the content creators' shoulders.
I see a lot of that too, and it kind of does make me cringe a little. Not that I am looking down at that person but I’m just thinking… wow please get offline and seek help. It’s actually really sad.
Writing this about a minute into the video. My phone habit could've been described as "terminally online" I would search Twitter for people I agreed with and or I learned from. Waking up and grabbing my phone to check on them felt like conversing with a friend. While I feel like there were many good things to come from this experience, it's probably for the best that it was limited. That I begin to put this goddamn thing down and stay away from that hillside. Shit, all of them I liked specifically said Twitter sucked and people should balance internet with reality. I kinda lost balance and became more lonely. Oh well, shit happens and I got to take stuff away from it without making a single account once. Nice
I think knowing you're in a parasocial relationship while still cultivating real relationships with others is a healthy mix. I can say that both helped me out at my low point in time and helped me move on. When parasocial relationships overtake any real relationships though, then we have a problem.
What was discussed (confusing youtubers, etc as friends) is something I've been thinking about a lot lately and have been talking about with my actual friends. Unfortunately, what I was actually hoping to hear about was something on the topic of why people don't have any friends. Kind of feels like you maybe didn't have enough to talk about on the stated topic and so smooshed a related one in with it when you could have had two really good videos.
people act like we can just generate real friends, social media does almost that, so people enjoy it. it may not be healthy but this video only explains the problem and not fix it, I think he should've went deeper...
"...the goal is nothing... development everything. The spectacle aims at nothing other than itself." - I found this statement truly profound. I could be misinterpreting, but as an analogy, this reminds me of when people talk about a "growth mentality". Always trying to improve (their selves) which as it implies is very "self-serving". So what the masses may see is the spectacle raising money for charity, but it's not about charity, it's primarily about the appearance that they are good natured & that is self-promotion; as nothing else matters as much to them. There's a very fine line here that's difficult for me to draw, because early on I learned that I cannot help someone else, until I'm able to help (provide) for myself first. While I don't think "every person" is a spectacle, is that the order of events: First determine if they are a spectacle & if so, then question/assume motives? Is there a degree of accuracy that (spectacle = self serving mind)? As the spectacle is only showing us what it thinks we want to see (there's a lot of reactionary gauging to determine what boosts popularity), can we even determine if what we're being shown is any part of that person's personality at all, or in some sense just the person's/spectacle's true nature (or even unconscious), that they will always place themselves first (because they've trained themselves to do so)?
IM ACTUALLY LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. I have to watch this for my speech class 😭love how my professor knows who Ludwig and Hasan are now. Proff K is the best
something else I feel is important when considering parasocial relationships is the conscious vs the subconscious need for companionship. i’ll try to simplify it. fundamentally, human interaction and socializing is one of the most important tools that allowed the human race to evolve and develop to this extent. humans with a strong tribal urge communicated and cooperated and then therefore survived. humans without tribalism isolated themselves to preserve their resources and never grew to develop cooperative strategies such as forgiving tit for tat and pavlov’s behavioral cooperative strategies and therefore died off. now, millions of years later, the humans who are alive all descended from these tribal humans and therefore have this innate need to socialize and interact with one another in order to increase their chances of survival. so to your monkey brain, loneliness equals danger. it’s important at this point that we make a distinction between the conscious brain and the unconscious brain, for the sake of the simplicity let’s just call them you and your monkey brain respectively. parasocial relationships could actually be a healthy thing only if the person consciously does not want to interact with other humans. if they choose to be a hermit they cannot escape their monkey brain’s powerful urge to interact with others and if they fail to fulfill this urge they’ll be faced with potent misery. a social hermit could choose to knowingly partake in parasocial relationships in order to trick their monkey brain into thinking they aren’t lonely so they can continue their life the way the please. this can be seen occurring in media and real life, religion being one possible example of a potentially healthy parasocial relationship. regardless of one’s religious persuasion it isn’t exactly controversial to say god probably won’t descend from the heavens to chat with you about your day and go grab some beer. yet it isn’t uncommon for people to console in and comfort themselves by the use of a god and imagery of submitting themselves to a divine parent’s warm grasp.
that is extreme levels of cope, to the point where you are arguing that going against human nature for no real reason is okay because it gives us more choices. shut up and go outside.
@@BusinessWolf1 in my eyes human nature is just a chain tying us down, there’s no real reason to let your impulses control you in this day and age, if there’s something you want to do and the rules of human nature are in your way then you can find a loophole to those rules to get the outcome you wanted without the punishment you get from your brain for breaking those rules. I’m not saying everyone should become a hermit, let alone that I want to, I’m just remarking that it’s interesting how parasocial relationships can potentially be used as a tool to allow people to partake in lifestyles they want in spite of their nature.
It seems that online a lot of people indeed are alone and feel lonely. I am often alone but don't feel lonely. For anyone interested, the way I accomplished this is through meditation: practice it enough and you'll unlock the ability to have more grip on how you feel and want to feel. So, at times I can choose to not feel lonely. The next time I think is to feel happy for no reason. I'm working on that one.
@@abraxasfraxinus7744 well it mainly happens to people who don't have many irl the isolate themselves they find internet "freinds" and get attached now they are even more separated from the real world and the internet might as well be reality it's literally all they have and obviously tge pandemic increased this
@@Lumberjack_kingOne thing is to have internet friends+that's perfectly fine), But to think a massive influencer, celebrity or internet persona is your friend is a completely different thing
The uncomfortable truth about these parasocial relationships is that they are a completely natural result of trying to achieve any kind of internet fame. Creators actively encourage people to become fans of them, to follow them on various platforms, to spend their leisure time consuming their creations and even to send them money. It's an artificial connection that is purposely cultivated so these fans will tell all their friends about said creator and their work can reach more people. There's a reason creators refer to their fans as a community so much, it's to convince them that they have a close friendship with them so they will continue to watch their stuff and recommend it to others. Is it really any surprise then when a subset of these fans become weirdly obsessive? It seems like a fairly obvious and inevitable consequence of trying to grow a fan base to me.
This. They cultivate an entire brand around themselves, as a basically God like figure, where you're encouraged to tune in as much as possible, and then they act mad that people get obsessed, because they're simply crazy. And lots of people definitely are crazy, but it just feels like a setup for failure.
Actually this was profound atleast to me. Over the past 2 years I've become so entrenched in the spectacle and the loneliness because I want to avoid and escape the cold hearted reality. As if to try to pretend it doesn't exist
I look at twitch streams like a modern version of ancient GrecoRoman theater. The performers interact with the audience. And the audience can affect the play but the actors aren’t you’re friends. They’re entertainers. Admittedly… XD I feel like I sound pretentious.
Criminally underrated, I remember reading this book whose name I forgot about how the decline/unfulfillment of modern religion and the rise of consumerism has lead to people conglomerating into brand culture and falling face first into the society of the spectacle and it was massive eye opener
I think the influence of consumerism in his thesis is overstated, it's just not as correlated as he says, while yes you have small minorities of people simping for brands, it's just not that common, when I talk to someone lonely, they don't care about brands, or getting the next best thing, it's usually someone who is just sad, thier friends from school moved away, they don't do any activities outside of thier home and work, so they get depressed, social media makes them feel inferior seeing everyone else's "great" life, self esteem slowly drops, they play video games for a semblance of social interaction but it feels empty and unfulfiling, so they just sit around and watch twitch and youtube to fill the void.
The average person assumes an internet celebrity is popular and has lots of friends. But they actually spend a lot of time online not interacting with real people. It's fake, a lot of it, those people give the illusion of popularity, yet if they were really that popular, they wouldn't spend so much time online. I am a lonely person...why? Because everyone is spending too much time online, before the net, people got bored and after reading that magazine for the 3rd time, you went out and found other bored people to hang with, then you were no longer bored. Seems to be a real thirst for real human companionship and all we get is a reasonable facsimile thereof.
I’m not involved with twitch or onlyfans and is still am lonely, I don’t need live interactions, people have non live interactions plenty aswell, we haven’t even made it to those places yet, tiktok and UA-cam ect , the non interacting, are actually more common
Gotta shoutout C418 for the track @ 3:44. He’s other music besides the Minecraft OSTs I feel go so unappreciated. I was really happy to see one used in a video. :)
"Influencers" aka creators and celebrities are treated like a in-between of a fictional character and a real person the lines between the two are now blured qnd a lot of the time the "character" becomes the "real" "person"
Your point is definitely interesting. The on screen personality is akin to a one dimensional fictional character in a book or movie, but our brains still know there’s a real person back there.
@@Lumberjack_king hell back in the day when I watched more influencers people always used the excuse "I-I'm drawing porn of their Online Persona, not THEM specifically..." As if that made it less fucking creepy...
I definitely of guilty of having a parasocial relationship with a few content creators. For me i feel like its an overall positive on my life. However I do believe it is filling a void just enough that I feel socially satisfied in ways that I don’t feel the need to go out of my way to make new friends or even foster my existing friendships. So that definitely is the danger of getting stuck in a trap where you’re comfortable and becoming more antisocial
@Jayka it's as easy as talking to a clerk at a store if it's not busy. Granted it's harder to socialize offline because everyone is on their phones all the time.
Bro please make more videos I need something good to listen to in the background while playing games or procrastinating writing these psychology notes due in 3 hours
Man idk what to do, I am so lonely and I just finished watching neon genesis evangelion, in the anime the characters open up a lot about their feelings and the main characters are all deeply troubled. This made me feel like I know and understand them on a deeper level than I have ever understood anyone. I am scared that I might never seek out proper relationships because I will get stuck in a parasocial one. I now fully understand why people become obsessed with anime and characters to the point of social isolation. I used to clown on these guys and look down on them for their maladaptive habits but I can feel myself becoming one of them.
I don’t have many friends anymore. The one I do have is very busy with his life so we can’t talk very much but we still do when we can usually. I think I made it out good because back in the aol and early Xbox live days I was never allowed to talk to anybody so I never developed this type of relationship. That also made me not commonly chat and or comment as other people.
What about those of us who never liked Human interaction in the first place. Online interaction is a novelty to me. I dislike most live stream content because it's real people, but random comment conversations are interesting and engaging. I can have only necessary Human interaction for months and never felt any negative effects that I'm aware of. I love a good book. I know more about fictional characters than most of the people in my life and constantly forget to learn my coworkers names.
@@Funeral_Mannequin well if they are able to have a fulfilling life (job, able to buy necessities, happiness) then it's ok. If not, they need therapy. It's that simple 🤷♀️ As a weeb, I can relate, and it honestly just sounds like introversion or autism...
Our existence is existentially/philosophically/psychologically very strange at this time. Where is it going to go after this? What will their existence be like? I have the feeling it will be unrecognizable from what we live currently. The way we live now is already so very alien to how we in different times and places before lived.
It makes sense that if you tend to be lonely, it will only get worse - coz making friends out of strangers is a skill and a "muscle". If you are not good at it at 20, and you don't practice, you will not magically get that ability at 30. (While also losing some friends coz life happens)
Imagine the world when AI reaches its peak. The evolution of our parasocial relationships will be unprecedented, blurring the lines between virtual connections and reality even further.
Its weird. I am lonely but I am happy. I guess you would call me a "loner" but I am not miserable. I dont use social media, I don't "follow" people online, I kind of just pay attention to myself and my abilities. I want to improve myself. I feel like I focus best when I am alone. Never wanted tot chase the crowd because I get anxious about if people like me. Now I just live a quiet life and focus on myself while maintaining real connections with family and some friends. I learned that family is what really matters though. If you dont have a family go find one!
It's pretty strange. I was watching videos on Liminal Spaces and then this was the next video recommended. I remember having this thought a long time ago.. watching certain influences and celebrities was enjoyable, but I said to myself. "I don't want to just be a consumer, I want to be a producer". My passion for film and music is one explanation for why I make content, but it feels odd. Like I'm trying to connect to people I don't even know.
I've never really understood this, its cool to have a favorite streamer, or UA-camr, but that's a person you've probably never met before and they don't know you
Anyone particularly drawn to the images in rhe thumbnail and parts of the video looking for more, they are technical masterworks by photographer Aristotle Roufanis. Every one of his works is ginourmas and created by taking hundreds of metered shots of his subjects at different times of the day and night, to achieve the look of impossible darkness. He's a hero of mine.
Awesome video! If I had to add an option I’d say, the majority of (modern) world culture is consumerism, not just America. I know some would call that a cope, but the point is still relevant. Historically this shift was post 1950s. if I had to make a guess, I’m assuming that technological development had a major roll, (plus a little propaganda?).
There is loneliness in every ideology or system. But the way it manifests itself can differ from one to the other. This isn't to say loneliness doesn't exist outside of Capitalism, merely that it takes on a different form inside of it.
Creating this type of video takes a LOT of work; to support more like it you can support me at: www.patreon.com/ClarkElieson
This issue is not just a problem with capitalist culture, but instead with industrialized civilization.
All industrialized civilizations that have existed have this problem.
I'm quite baffled by the argument that capitalism has not had a positive effect on the masses.
I suppose that you mean within the frame of this video. Do you instead mean generally?
It has always been my experience that those who say that everyone is defined by brands are most just talking about themselves and people like them.
they describe their own condition not understanding it is not universal nor even a majority. Simply the majority of the targeted culture, because that target is the one so enraptured.
In so the subset is mistaken as the whole, as the whole is not brought into the global frame observed.
All your other videos got several hundreds of thousands of views, but this one only got tens of thousands
Maybe because it has dream in the preview
omg are we besties now Clark??? 🤪 let me tell you all about my day!!!
The viewers forming a parasocial relationship with Clark himself is the timeline I'm here for.
No that's kinda the opposite of what he's saying is okay.
Lol hopefully not. Also I don't think that will happen due to Clark's content not allowing for personal connection
LOL
@@oli36999 its a joke
@@Lumberjack_king guys they joking
I feel like it was really the quarantine that made parasocial relationships so prevalent. With all of us trapped inside and unable to socialize with our real friends, livestreams were a way to simulate human interaction. Then all that attachment stuck around, even after lockdown was lifted.
nah was happening way before coofvid it really only kicked it into hyperdrive
There was a small spark when digital media was born but what really sky rocketed this evolution was the iPhone in 2006. The death of history died when the iPhone change the digital land scape forever as apps and platforms replaced personal forums and specific places and websites for different purposes for individuals. What happened was not just a quicker medium for spectacle but a less personalized spectacle and a more corporatist spectacle. If you really wanted my opinion capitalism isnt the source of all these issues its the Corporation of all media blended into an app that is easily accessible and controlled by a small group of people. Something like google or apple being able to coral billions onto apps destroyed the millions of different websites and forum culture and forced all those individual boxes into one large warehouse. Thus eradicating the diversity of ideas and reducing the amount of options one had. Then billion dollar corporations seized control over isp's and made it virtually impossible to create something outside the purview of these corporations. Anything that can potentially endanger the corporation is thus swiftly eradicated very quietly because there is no longer large platforms not controlled and packaged.
Clearly, you didn't work retail through that bullsh*t or else you'd be more than happy to be cut off from the world right now. It's why all I do anymore is watch youtube😂😂
This is certainly true with me. I feel I've completely changed in my outlook and my motivation in life
@Moon Man most of the things related to the organic creatures such as humans are cringy as hell.
Parasocial relationships have existed a long time. From the self-insert fanfic and fanartists, to those who would have fantasies about characters from books and television being part of their life, it can often be "easier" to avoid rejection if you simply "purchase" a type of interaction you can control. Similar to those who would rather not have a romantic relationship and stay home with their body pillow, these kinds of pseudo-interactions can serve as a comforting or safe place to avoid the pain of rejection or judgement.
I've also noticed that a lot of this seems to be tied to a higher degree of people being sheltered from negative interaction and learning how to work through it. There is such a huge focus on positive "customer service" level interactions where everyone is always faking happiness and excitement, that even in the workplace, school, activities, etc, there's a pressure to project a false version of yourself. You can't even necessarily be "real" with your friends about a lot of things, as this can affect other sectors of your life.
In a lot of ways, I segmented most of my interaction based on the group I was in. My friends in sports were friends for those things. My friends in arts or music shared those interests. My gamer or online friends were a separate bucket. Each group may only know a certain part of my personality and who I am, but as I get older, I do often wonder whether any of it matters. Sure, I have older friends who I have known longer, but exactly what about them or myself matters? I sometimes wonder if I have started to get to the end of any and all topics I can bring up with other people? Will I finally get to the "end" of what makes me an interesting or worthwhile person? I have so many hobbies, and there's always the pressure to be out with friends or out doing things together with people, yet there never is enough time.
I think at the end of the day we must look at what satisfies ourselves above all else. There is what you "should" do but it is not always going to satisfy everyone. Trying out different things, learning to survive negative or friction-filled interactions, and build resilience is key. The world may be lonely sometimes, but no matter where you go, you can make friends, or talk to new people, or choose something new to explore. It is overwhelming and exciting, so be kind to yourself.
You know what takes far less time to hurt infinitely less than lonliness? Rejection and judgement...
Your first paragraph made me think of the mid fifties guy who still plays with Star Wars toys and does play acting. Just another form of heavy drinking, it's an escape from reality, and a manufactured identity.
I notice that some of the acquaintances I train with put on such a front most of the time... they prance around bragging about how "weird" they are, and then behave like the most boring person ever for the remainder of the time. It's so obvious that they will not let me come near "them" -- no matter how much I myself try to un-mask -- and, ultimately, it destroys any foundation for a friendship, to me. I have hung around these people for long enough now to be pretty sure that we're not ever going to develop into anything other than acquaintances who share a hobby.
Wow this is an amazing comment!!
Thank you for this comment! I have profound feelings about this topic as well, given how I have only recently "awakened" myself from the prolonged, escapist haze of maladaptive day-dreaming - the times where I indulgently retreated into the world of social media, fan art and fanfiction and avoid altogether the searing bleakness of real-world relationships. I had been highly conscious of the sense of self-sabotage such action had brought me all the way through - but it was only until one moment finally, where I have had enough all the mental congestion and saturated stasis from such escapist coping mechanism, and decided that some pains from the real world - particularly of rejection, judgement and confrontation with people - are worth to live through. Not because I deserve those pains, but rather that I need them as the "keys", the "harder pills to take" in order to truly uncover my potentials in the world of real-life relationships, the people I can meet and the things that I can truly learn about, and from them. Parasocial relationships and the sense of stasis when indulging in them have a lot to tell about one's self-inhibition, and it also indexes the latent need for self-actualisation, the act of actually going out ("touching grass", as they say) to embrace the world of its round sides and sharp edges. I personally believe that you can never 'truly' know another person as much as you do to yourself - and so the relationships you form with the people around you are like forming a Venn diagram - you see how much you overlap with the other person, it could be small, or it could be a lot - I think all those kinds of "shared" domains within your relationships will always be in some way vital, in inspiring to varying degree different aspects of your life. I am not sure if this could be an antidote to your concerns regarding the "segmentation" of self divided across the friend groups you're in - but from my perspective for the least, it is pretty much a normal thing. Also, you and all the other people are always changing, at every second, every period, so I bet that "overlapping" area of relatability and intimacy you share with your friends will often so change over time. And so across the myriads of friend groups you form, there will be chances of further progression and intimacy, or regression and fall-out. It's all seasons, and stuff. You are perhaps the only "constant" since you are phenomenologically you, the perennial embodiment of your perspective and experiences.
my ex of 7 years got so obsessed with kpop she had a twitter account with hundreds of thousands of tweets about these guys who didnt even know her whilst i became generally an afterthought in her life despite everything i tried to keep things together. ultimately there'll still always be a part of me that thinks i shouldve been the one to stop her from going down that route, like it was my responsibility. but it pretty much ruined everything between us in a more roundabout way. parasocial relationships are potent chums, be careful
i can relate and understand your ex. I'm also into kpop.
I think majority hook to kpop because it's something we will never see in everyday life people. They have the perfect image, they have everything we can ask for. but the only problem is that they don't know us. there can be healthy parasocial too, if you know your limits, and they are there to be inspirational.
Some become obsessed that they worship them even they see something wrong they cover it up. Some are fakes and still believing them.
They are the way of escape from this boring life. i think
Does that mean ex since 7 years, or you were together for 7 years?
@@erwins_arm together for that long, teenage romance
Kpop girls are the worst. They're impossible to talk to lol
taylor swift fans 💯
Here’s what I learned about true friendships. In order to form a genuine friendship with someone, you need to learn the common and different traits of that person, and learn to take the good with the bad, the emotional mask they wear and their true self that is sometimes darker than you think. The other person hopefully does the same with you and so on. The thing with streamers, is that all you know about them is the good, bright, comforting side, and not the nuanced truth behind the screen. Granted, this isn’t the streamer’s fault, especially for money making purposes, this bright side reputation rakes in the dough. I genuinely believe some streamers are sarcastic, easygoing, and kind in real life, as on screen, but that’s not all that makes up a person. When a person looks at only the positives of another, it leads them to be terribly unprepared for the negatives, possibly leading future or current friendships to drift away. Positive/common traits are what sparks the first impression for a genuine relationship, but its learning to value other people’s differences that keeps that fire going.
When I first found this video I was insulted
No, they are at fault, everyone is responsible for their actions.
Yea, their dark part is just as important as their better part. The problem is that, that part isn't accepted by anyone anymore, it's called toxic or some other vaguely negative term, when in reality it's just the opposite side of the coin of the good stuff. Sure there's purely negative things with no positive upside, but I'm not talking about those.
Great point!
This really describes the situation I'm going through. I'm irrationally afraid of people and their unpredictability, specially that bad side. If I'm in a relationship with someone, I NEED to know that they'll share my ideas and that they are calm and nice. I am terrified of people that have a "short fuse". However, at the same time, I'm painfully self conscious of my OWN anger issues. I don't express my anger, because as I mentioned I don't want to be angry, so I repress a lot of it. This means that I end up sulking a lot and just generally feeling really numb and pessimistic, which drives people away. I end up feeling guilty, feeling like I don't have the right to form relationships yet because I'd just make people sad. So I'm just stuck.
I was taught not to give my loyalty to brands /company's or celebrities as a kid because it's all an illusion and it's better to be loyal to morality and the principles you live by. I think it's important to teach this to your children so that they have integrity and behavior like this doesn't appeal to them
It’s the fact people are obsessed with these people so much that their obsession condones their creepy/weird behaviour that concerns me
The industrial revolution and its consequences
Well that depends, how far do you have to go for it to be an obsession? Like, some people watch a streamer or whatever almost every day just because they enjoy their content, or find it educational, or both. So, what do you mean by obsession? Like, creepy stalker stuff?
@@BlueTyphoon2017 watching someone every single day is obsession… even if it’s not like stalker ish, wanting to only watch one person every day is an obsession
@@bradleydevoir6289 it gets exhausting punishing yourself for enjoying things just to satiate critics who don't enjoy anything
@@jackdavinci wdym
never have i been so offended by something i 100% agree with
This is late but I'm right there with you
@@sueason6041 this is not late and I'm right there with you
@@poptartninjathis is also not late and I'm right there with you
@@KidBaduthis is kind of a tiny bit late, but I'm right there with you.
@@thisguy8106 this is sorta very late but I'm still right there with you.
imagine how terrifying the effects of AIs and bot chats are….
I'm french but I had never heard of Guy Debord and Jean Baudrillard. True visionaries.
About brands, it's more than Parasocial. When people fight over which brand is the best, it's a religion. And influencers are just the apostles of this brand. Because brands are not a person. They are like a superior entity for consumers (Yeah the analogy with religion is a bit weird but I found it relevant).
Sorry to be so pessimistic but I'm not sure we might liberate ourselves from its lonesome. Some will be able to but not everyone. As long as the world remained in this state : Mass consumption, Technology for entertainment, Parasocial rise. I'm afraid it might get worse (I am not a specialist so I can be wrong).
Otherwise banger video 🔥
Eyyy my man!
omori
French?
Yo, I'd watch your video and also I parasocial you already so you're off to a good start! 🫶
Exactly. take the iPhone for exemple; their super efficient marketing turned their product into a "necessary" luxious product for the best "quality" people. In middle-school or high-school lot of people unconsciously base their first impression on what kind of phone the other have.
I think a big issue is that, while I think many people are critical of social media and parasocial relationships and celebrity worship ect, people are not bringing any answers. It's just criticisms. like you should not do this, etc. as you say, people go to these because there already is a problem. same with alcoholics. they often develop this because they are already having something not working well in their life. the world is a very isolating place esp to a lonely person, and when someone says so, i feel it's often met with judgement, like it's because you inherently are not doing something right. Or at least implied. Anyways, this is like a really big topic that could lead to even bigger ones.. so i will leave it at that.
(a side note.. a para social thing perhaps.. but i see you've deleted your older videos.. ahem.)
Thank you! Like, I've been lonely my whole life. I've never had a lot of friends because no one wanted to be friends with me. Hell, I felt left out half the time (all of this was most likely die to my depression and having no self-esteem--thanks, Dad! 🙃👍)
Also, I'm an introvert and have social anxiety. I can only spend so much time around people before I become tired. I don't go to parties where I don't know anyone because how am I supposed to start a conversation with strangers who like small talk only or things that I'm unfamiliar with.
I wish they would just give us answers instead of making us feel bad. Jesus. Maybe I should just get a dog and go on a fucking road trip.
@@moonwaterflower As someone who spent 10 years of her life locked on her house with minimum interaction an who developed an anxiety disorder thanks to that and then later on got diagnosed with ASD, believe me, the only solution for this is to get out there and stop worrying that you come out as "odd" to others.
Social anxiety usually shames you into thinking people think you're a weirdo, a nuisance, and if you were bullied for minor things on highschool or formed your social perception from heated internet threads where people call each other every insult under the sun then yes your brain really starts believing that that's how the world works and that there's no place for you out there.
But that's a big lie.
It took me years to practice. Change doesn't come to you instantaneously, and I had to unlearn a lot of unhealthy coping and warped perceptions I had but if you get help, through therapy, and make an effort little by little, eventually, it gets easier and you stop feeling so lonely...
You realize a lot of people out there are weirdoes like you, and they manage just fine, so why don't you?
Now, I've said this to a lot of people, and most of them ignore me or tell me it's just too hard and that they can't do it and I can't help but sympathize because I also used to believe it was useless, but believe me. This is the only solution.
No magic pill will make you get along instantaneously with others or make you likeable and calm and smart and witty, you actually HAVE TO WORK HARD TOWARDS HEALING.
Change doesn't come to you, you work towards change.
@@moonwaterflower very late to the party, but I agree with what Homo Demon said.
I also used to have anxiety and depression back in high-school and early college. I used to dread talking to other people and got really stressed and nervous when I had to do it. The worst thing was that I felt super lonely and left out. I wished for things to be different, but never did anything to start changing things.
I remember I used to be super into anime at the time (no hate towards anime. I still watch it every now and then). I especially loved stories where the protagonist was lame, but once they moved to a new school/city they became popular (or at least more social). I used to daydream about moving places and finding the place where I belonged. I thought I just needed to find the people who "got me".
Needless to say, that never happened. I even got to attend other schools, only for the same pattern to repeat. At the end of the day, the only way to change things around was to start putting in the effort. The first step was to take care of my mental health. Many people recommend therapy, but as a broke college student, that wasn't really possible. I eventually started journaling my emotions, and that gave me a glimpse into what the real issues were. From there, I just worked on each issue one by one.
After that, I had to basically torture myself and force myself to talk to people. Say hi when getting to class, when passing strangers on the street. Force myself to make small talk. Was it uncomfortable? Totally. Were some conversations awkward as hell? Absolutely. Each small interaction felt like it drained me, but I kept pushing myself cuz, with every single interaction, I could feel that I was starting to get it, and I eventually became comfortable at doing it.
I know it probably sounds like I'm just blowing my own trumpet, but I think it's necessary for people to see that there's no easy way for things to change. We live in times where we want everything to be convenient. I'm also guilty of it, too. But skills - whether be social or any of other type - are things that you have to work towards. I know it's hard, but if you truly want things to change, you're gonna have to sacrifice your comfort to achieve it.
And have in mind that, even when you start breaking out, it's not the end yet. Just like any other skill, you have to keep putting it into practice or else you start forgetting it. I sometimes regress to old bad habits and I have to snap myself out of it.
I really hope that you are able to succeed in your personal journey.
I think the reason nobody has any answers, is because nobody has any answers. Or at least not any simple ones.
thats what im surprised the video didnt answer, or mention
like yeah, its an issue, but its one that happens because another issue, yet theres no mention on how to fix it, how to deal with it, possible alternatives, etc
its just...'this is an issue' and thats it
dont get me wrong, i love the video, but i had expected it to suggest more
might be a lack of good answers on what could be done, but it kinda sucks its not mentioned at all then
i was really lonely after ending some of my toxic relationships and also really bored, so i started watching streams just to Discover how they work and why are they so popular but instead i made myself parasocial relationships and a really unhealthy lack of sleep
than i started losing other friends, i was too tired to go with my friends out but i still needed social interactions so i watched the streams
and i was stuck in this cicle for months now and i'm trying to stop bc it's just really unhealthy
i hope it gets better for you, i've been ignoring so many people in my life due to school, then i end up feeling bad about not contacting them, hence now i feel as i shouldn't even contact them, which makes me feel worse for not contacting them for even longer, its an endless loop
(also nice pfp btw, silver is the most underrated character in the sonic franchise)
Update us have escaped that circle?
Hey if you need help just reach out
Same boat. Got out of a bad relationship and had to move in with my dad in a rather remote town. I haven't hung out with someone in nearly 2 years.and I still go out to meet people but nothing really works. So I've started watching streams more and more just to not feel lonely and crazy, but it's just kind of become something I'm dependant on. Not that I actually feel like any of these people are my friend, it just helps to have some noise on. And yet I feel like a giant creep. They make a career out of getting all these lonely people to spend their time watching them and then get surprised and mad when some get obsessed. And our capitalist society just makes it harder and harder to really connect with people even when you try. And everyone just acts like parasocial behavior just comes from nowhere, crazy people that's all.
also i find the idea of loneliness spreading among people a pretty weird and disturbing concept.?!
amon. among people.... among. amo.
AMOGUS
AMONG US!?!
AMONG US SUSSY
Yeah. That was interesting, but now that it's mentioned it makes perfect sense. It's pretty much a disease that spreads
i’d also just like to tack on that being lonely doesn’t make you a bad person, & that it isn’t embarrassing to be lonely or engage in parasocial relationships to help with that
As a viewer that relates to this heavily, it's not twitch or streamers being the problem. There are deep rooted societal issues that have led to loneliness. Being not lonely and having a lot of friends is a lifestyle that takes time. As a lonely person, you get used to the silence after a while. You'll find things you like to do, you start taking care of yourself, talk to the people that are easy to reach out to more (like your family or that friend who also seems to be alone). I don't feel lonely anymore, even if I am alone. To cope, I even journal my day because I have no one to talk about it to.
You have to go out and meet people every day to make friends, it's like a full time job
@@sp123agreed it's alot of effort and it can work. But it takes time and not all groups/activities will result in friendship
I'm extremely lonely I don't have a single friend and haven't had one for years. Though unlike alot of people I haven't convinced myself that the streamers I've watched are my friends or something can't say entirely why I guess it's that I personally believe it just wouldn't be a genuine relationship of any kind it'd just be one sided and I don't want that.
That's why I also avoid donating to them I feel like giving them money and having them maybe read out a message you sent makes you more likely to do it again just to get the feeling that they acknowledged your existence for a moment that also leads you to not being good financially as well. Obviously deep down I probably do wish we could be friends but that's just not realistic so I don't fool myself into believing it. I imagine it'd make my life far more miserable than it already is.
Never taught about it before, But donations are basically friendship prostitution, As streamers will usually acknowledge and interact more with someone the bigger the donation they give is
Also, Hope life gets better for you my guy
same. i have always avoided finding "friends" who live in my litttle electornic metal box. its hard sometimes but i still push through
streamers are not your friends, streamers are not your potential partners, streamers aren't even synced in real-time. Streamers at best, friendly impromptu performance artists and entertainers in an open theater. Don't entrap yourselves.
Nuhuh
Sometimes it's just comforting that someone else sees things the way that you do.
theres so many videos on parasocial relationships and why theyre bad, but all of them are unfulfilling as theres this overwhelming feeling that parasocial relationships are a symptom of a bigger problem rather than a problem on its own. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words once again
Lack of third spaces
@@sp123FR‼️
Thank you parasocial relationship for telling me about parasocial relationships
The society of the spectacle by Guy Debord and simulation and Simulacra by Jean Baudrillard were the basis for my thesis project in college. Initially when i read the book , i found myself feeling hopeless and depressed because i began recognizing the spectacle all around me, in each choice I made and in all actions I took. The question of whether it was even possible to escape and have authentic experiences began to plague me... until i began viewing the spectacle as a haze rather than a bubble and tried expanding moments of clarity that I found while pursuing hobbies I loved and having real conversations with friends. I suppose in modern times freedom from the spectacle is impossible but sometimes rebellion in the form of aimless walks and introspection in a society that forces you to consume or be consumed, can allow you to gain recalibrate and find your own purpose in the madness.
Loneliness is only felt when there’s someone or something for you to miss. If you don’t miss anything, you won’t feel lonely.
On my experience. I’m a hermit level anti-social, haven’t spoken to my friends in 3 years. Part of that is the pandemics fault. But I feel fine. Free from social obligations to meet with someone, and so on. Like I can breathe easier. Not sure if my condition is another psychological disorder… what is psychological order anyway? How do we measure that?
@@jenniferhartranft3394 Your last 2 sentences only prove that psychology is science. Philosophy isn’t science, it’s conjecture, that I love so much. Psychology is determined through testing and so on, like any other science. We just don’t know much about the brain yet, so our conclusions can change.
@@jenniferhartranft3394 I find myself arguing about semantics again. I never learn.
I’ll check him out, thanks.
@@pumpkingamebox arguing over semantics is our bread and butter, no?
Evolution works through disorder and mutation. A lack of needing human interaction might be a gift in this time, but in the past or future, we don't know.
Maybe people like you will be the people who thrive in the world as it is and is going to be, while the rest go on a downward spiral.
@@orbismworldbuilding8428 Nah, I don’t think so. There’s no reason to thrive if you can’t share the joy or misery of it with another. I may not suffer from loneliness myself, but I also don’t have any goals in life. Just hedonistically enjoying my days until the sweet release of death. This mutation itself won’t persist long either. Loneliness doesn’t produce children.
The only time my mutation will help is when we achieve immortality and go on to travel the stars for billions of light years. But without goals, I’m not really inspired to do all that either. lol. There’s just no winning with my condition. But it’s fine, it is the life I choose for myself.
I went on a walk with my friend earlier today c: we had a look at three different parks and then we bought lunch. It was very fun, I'd highly recommend you do something similar if you can.
Sounds like a terrible time.
@@antidotebrain69 I get you don't like people, but there's no need to be rude about it
Sounds good.
"I'd highly recommend you do something similar if you can." with what friends nigga 💀
I don't have the option to do something like that but I'm glad you had fun!
What I think is dangerous about parasocial relationships is when it's pushed too far to the point of enabling stalking/creep behavior
no wonder i'm depressed, i'll have to work on this
This makes sense. I know a influencer personally who exploits this. I was told that they didn’t have any problem trauma dumping on fans that though they were friends because they could just block them if they were done. They were abandoning their real family for fake relationships. It’s very sad.
All of this! I've recently realised that often when I watch a film, particularly if its critically acclaimed or "arty", I find myself focusing more on developing some kind of nuanced (but still "correct") opinion on it, for when I have a conversation about it in the future. I sometimes feel like people's intellects are increasingly becoming a product in themselves for the purpose of some kind of social capital, in place of genuine meaningful interactions. I also think we all need to forget about how we can become individuals, or gatekeep certain things to keep being different to others- community is more important, and I really think individuality comes naturally when it is nurtured by these genuine connections with others!
When my best friend of over 20 years seriously betrayed my trust, I gave up on the expectation of ever having “friends” again. I’m always friendly and supportive of others I interact with but I have zero expectations of them and make it abundantly clear that I value my own space and privacy.
I'm the same I'm friendly but keep everyone at a polite distance
But I find it difficult to make friends, and when I do, I’m usually just background noise. I can’t say I’m really close to anyone and these people see me as that guy no one invited.
that's what im saying, and to get people to like you, you have to only say what they wanna hear :(
just because you're bad at a skill doesn't mean you should ignore it
@@FuchsiaRosa that is not true, you want your friends to know you fully. don't assume people dislike you for disagreeing, those are just shitty people. what me and my friends do is argue and disagree nearly all the time, and it doesn't weaken the friendship, on the contrary it strengthens it.
Try to find real friends, there’s a difference between people who accept your existence and true friends who want to be around you. They’re out there, tho there’s no simple solution to finding them
The thing with social media is that in the beginning it was seen as this wonderful new product that would allow everyone to show off their individuality with the world. Fast forward to present day and people's value and the "clout" they receive seems to come mostly from how accurately and closely they are able to follow a specific trend. What was once seen as the advent of individuality to an extent that no one could have previously imagined slowly became another mechanism to enforce conformity on a massive scale.
4:43 Felt disconnected long before any social media btw. Thought it was important to make a note of, cause we often assume social media causes loneliness... and for me it just exzaserbates(no idea how to spell that) my pre-existing inclination to be alone.
exacerbates
Alone isn't lonely
I think there are two parts to modern loneliness. One that the internet helps you find groups of people easier, but because it's the internet it's often limited how much you can interact with that group so the relationships often stay surface level. The second part is that real life social interactions are more risky, mainly if they go bad you have to deal with them physically. You don't like a person you live close to then you have to move. Your on a bus with somone you don't like you have to stay there till the next stop. I think this drives people away from in person interactions unless they need too and go for the safer online interactions where they can ignore or block people. A new community is a click away.
Yeah that study is very true. If you have friends very early on in life, you most likely will for the rest of your life. If you dont, you probably never will, because of a combination of people seeing you differently and you not trusting or easily getting close to other people.
Appreciate your leveled presentation on this subject. Your points are made confidently and with a tone that invites discussion rather than heated argument. It makes me wonder if there is a way to turn this system of the spectacle against itself, where a spectacle could use their branding as a way to guide people toward a healthier view on their relationships with brands and content creators.
The healthy view can literally only happen when that creator doesn't exist and the people in the chat then have to interact with each other. The healthy view can only happen when the persons consuming the content are already not lonely, because it prevents all of the actions that would lead them to more loneliness.
A friend of mine is deep in the throws of a para social relationship with a female Vtuber. Myself and this friend started watching one Vtuber stream because she was streaming a mobile game we were into at that time and he started to develop a weird sort overstated friendship with someone who based on time zones defiantly lives far away and who exclusively Vtubes so we don’t know what they look like. I’m aware of the concept of para social relationships so I never make these kinds of interactions out as more than they are. My friend however, has moved through 5 different female vtubers in similar relationships with varying levels of infatuation. His current favorite dominates most of his time. He has nearly cut ties with all previous Vtubers and also myself and our friend group. He won’t answer messages and always claims to be busy but will almost always be In that Vtubers chat or playing a game with her on stream. I don’t think she did anything given his previous behavior but he has gone all on her. We have even tried to set up offline plans to hang out and get dinner but he cancelled at the last second and was in her chat. When called out he gets very defensive and tries to gaslight us into never reaching out which is plainly not the case. It’s frustrating but he is a adult and I have taken the route of letting him do what he’s going to do and focus on other friends. As they say everyone can benefit from a bad example and he is mine to remind me to not get wrapped up with streamers.
how is he doing now?
As much as I’m a KPOP Stan, this is a massive problem within the industry.
platforms like Bubble sadly profit so much from pushing boundaries between artist and fans by giving the illusion that artists are messaging a fan directly… it’s sad seeing my friends get so into it tbh
yeah…. i got out of it once but then got sucked right back in by accident. i’m still trying to get out. it’s so hard to escape it once you’re trapped but the knowledge of what’s happening is a massive step forward
Hollow social strain caused by a dystopian disconnect from a reality of what friendships are replaced by an idea of ideal relationships that can be switched on and off at will. 😒
precisely
this boils down so many more complex nuanced factors to purely capitalism it’s effects on society
So many lonely people. In my experience a good antidote is the search for meaning. I enjoy a good parasocial relationship. But I keep my head straight by diving deep into other people's motivations. That usually requires high bandwidth face to face communication. There are no shortcuts to finding true meaning with others. With that balance I can then get back to screen time for more addictive parasocializing and indulgence in modernity :)
Oh man, i was not expecting you to reference Guy DeBord but it instantly came to mind as i was watching this. So i was hyped when you brought up the spectacle
I just want to know who the people are that spam the same sentence in the chat like:
pog
pog
pog
over and over again
Oh finally he uploaded
I often see comments like "I'm really struggling with depression and your videos help me get through it." I feel like this is very unfair for the uploaders because it places a form of responsibility for others mental health on the content creators' shoulders.
I see a lot of that too, and it kind of does make me cringe a little. Not that I am looking down at that person but I’m just thinking… wow please get offline and seek help. It’s actually really sad.
Alot of streamers i follow actually have words like that filtered out, and have rules about "trauma dumping", As they feel uncomfortable
Writing this about a minute into the video.
My phone habit could've been described as "terminally online"
I would search Twitter for people I agreed with and or I learned from. Waking up and grabbing my phone to check on them felt like conversing with a friend.
While I feel like there were many good things to come from this experience, it's probably for the best that it was limited. That I begin to put this goddamn thing down and stay away from that hillside. Shit, all of them I liked specifically said Twitter sucked and people should balance internet with reality. I kinda lost balance and became more lonely.
Oh well, shit happens and I got to take stuff away from it without making a single account once. Nice
So glad clark is my true friend
This is something that happens with fictional characters too, just a little different, but still parasocial
excellent content. it feels like we're friends now
I think knowing you're in a parasocial relationship while still cultivating real relationships with others is a healthy mix. I can say that both helped me out at my low point in time and helped me move on. When parasocial relationships overtake any real relationships though, then we have a problem.
How do you define "real relationships "? Anytime two people interact with eachother that's a relationship as long as they are real people.
@@fiercediva135actually engages with you too instead of just one sided engagement
What was discussed (confusing youtubers, etc as friends) is something I've been thinking about a lot lately and have been talking about with my actual friends. Unfortunately, what I was actually hoping to hear about was something on the topic of why people don't have any friends. Kind of feels like you maybe didn't have enough to talk about on the stated topic and so smooshed a related one in with it when you could have had two really good videos.
people act like we can just generate real friends, social media does almost that, so people enjoy it. it may not be healthy but this video only explains the problem and not fix it, I think he should've went deeper...
"...the goal is nothing... development everything. The spectacle aims at nothing other than itself." - I found this statement truly profound. I could be misinterpreting, but as an analogy, this reminds me of when people talk about a "growth mentality". Always trying to improve (their selves) which as it implies is very "self-serving". So what the masses may see is the spectacle raising money for charity, but it's not about charity, it's primarily about the appearance that they are good natured & that is self-promotion; as nothing else matters as much to them. There's a very fine line here that's difficult for me to draw, because early on I learned that I cannot help someone else, until I'm able to help (provide) for myself first. While I don't think "every person" is a spectacle, is that the order of events: First determine if they are a spectacle & if so, then question/assume motives? Is there a degree of accuracy that (spectacle = self serving mind)? As the spectacle is only showing us what it thinks we want to see (there's a lot of reactionary gauging to determine what boosts popularity), can we even determine if what we're being shown is any part of that person's personality at all, or in some sense just the person's/spectacle's true nature (or even unconscious), that they will always place themselves first (because they've trained themselves to do so)?
IM ACTUALLY LAUGHING MY ASS OFF. I have to watch this for my speech class 😭love how my professor knows who Ludwig and Hasan are now. Proff K is the best
Entertainers view their audience as a singular entity. The viewers view the entertainer as a direct connection.
You are my friend, Clark.
something else I feel is important when considering parasocial relationships is the conscious vs the subconscious need for companionship. i’ll try to simplify it. fundamentally, human interaction and socializing is one of the most important tools that allowed the human race to evolve and develop to this extent. humans with a strong tribal urge communicated and cooperated and then therefore survived. humans without tribalism isolated themselves to preserve their resources and never grew to develop cooperative strategies such as forgiving tit for tat and pavlov’s behavioral cooperative strategies and therefore died off. now, millions of years later, the humans who are alive all descended from these tribal humans and therefore have this innate need to socialize and interact with one another in order to increase their chances of survival. so to your monkey brain, loneliness equals danger. it’s important at this point that we make a distinction between the conscious brain and the unconscious brain, for the sake of the simplicity let’s just call them you and your monkey brain respectively. parasocial relationships could actually be a healthy thing only if the person consciously does not want to interact with other humans. if they choose to be a hermit they cannot escape their monkey brain’s powerful urge to interact with others and if they fail to fulfill this urge they’ll be faced with potent misery. a social hermit could choose to knowingly partake in parasocial relationships in order to trick their monkey brain into thinking they aren’t lonely so they can continue their life the way the please. this can be seen occurring in media and real life, religion being one possible example of a potentially healthy parasocial relationship. regardless of one’s religious persuasion it isn’t exactly controversial to say god probably won’t descend from the heavens to chat with you about your day and go grab some beer. yet it isn’t uncommon for people to console in and comfort themselves by the use of a god and imagery of submitting themselves to a divine parent’s warm grasp.
that is extreme levels of cope, to the point where you are arguing that going against human nature for no real reason is okay because it gives us more choices. shut up and go outside.
@@BusinessWolf1 in my eyes human nature is just a chain tying us down, there’s no real reason to let your impulses control you in this day and age, if there’s something you want to do and the rules of human nature are in your way then you can find a loophole to those rules to get the outcome you wanted without the punishment you get from your brain for breaking those rules. I’m not saying everyone should become a hermit, let alone that I want to, I’m just remarking that it’s interesting how parasocial relationships can potentially be used as a tool to allow people to partake in lifestyles they want in spite of their nature.
Very hopeless and sad things happeneing to these people who could actually do something better with their life
It seems that online a lot of people indeed are alone and feel lonely. I am often alone but don't feel lonely.
For anyone interested, the way I accomplished this is through meditation: practice it enough and you'll unlock the ability to have more grip on how you feel and want to feel.
So, at times I can choose to not feel lonely.
The next time I think is to feel happy for no reason. I'm working on that one.
I'm glad I've realized the reality of parasocial relationships and now I know the difference between entertainers and friends
Im baffled people are genuinely in a parasocial relationship to begin with and think the online world is the only reality there is
@@abraxasfraxinus7744 well it mainly happens to people who don't have many irl the isolate themselves they find internet "freinds" and get attached now they are even more separated from the real world and the internet might as well be reality it's literally all they have and obviously tge pandemic increased this
@@abraxasfraxinus7744we accept the reality with which we're presented.
@@Lumberjack_kingOne thing is to have internet friends+that's perfectly fine), But to think a massive influencer, celebrity or internet persona is your friend is a completely different thing
@@jesusramirezromo2037 yeah
The uncomfortable truth about these parasocial relationships is that they are a completely natural result of trying to achieve any kind of internet fame. Creators actively encourage people to become fans of them, to follow them on various platforms, to spend their leisure time consuming their creations and even to send them money. It's an artificial connection that is purposely cultivated so these fans will tell all their friends about said creator and their work can reach more people. There's a reason creators refer to their fans as a community so much, it's to convince them that they have a close friendship with them so they will continue to watch their stuff and recommend it to others. Is it really any surprise then when a subset of these fans become weirdly obsessive? It seems like a fairly obvious and inevitable consequence of trying to grow a fan base to me.
This. They cultivate an entire brand around themselves, as a basically God like figure, where you're encouraged to tune in as much as possible, and then they act mad that people get obsessed, because they're simply crazy. And lots of people definitely are crazy, but it just feels like a setup for failure.
Actually this was profound atleast to me. Over the past 2 years I've become so entrenched in the spectacle and the loneliness because I want to avoid and escape the cold hearted reality. As if to try to pretend it doesn't exist
All of the emotionally healthiest celebrities it seems hold onto their friends from before they were famous.
exacrly
I look at twitch streams like a modern version of ancient GrecoRoman theater. The performers interact with the audience. And the audience can affect the play but the actors aren’t you’re friends. They’re entertainers. Admittedly… XD I feel like I sound pretentious.
I’ve never seen a UA-camr as a friend. But I can see why people think that.
That's good but you could have certainly seen a celebrity as a friend, someone who "gets you"
@@joelbedulla4 🤔 mmm… yeah mabye.
I actually did end up making friends with a UA-camr I idolized…. needless to say, never meet your heroes.
Criminally underrated, I remember reading this book whose name I forgot about how the decline/unfulfillment of modern religion and the rise of consumerism has lead to people conglomerating into brand culture and falling face first into the society of the spectacle and it was massive eye opener
I think the influence of consumerism in his thesis is overstated, it's just not as correlated as he says, while yes you have small minorities of people simping for brands, it's just not that common, when I talk to someone lonely, they don't care about brands, or getting the next best thing, it's usually someone who is just sad, thier friends from school moved away, they don't do any activities outside of thier home and work, so they get depressed, social media makes them feel inferior seeing everyone else's "great" life, self esteem slowly drops, they play video games for a semblance of social interaction but it feels empty and unfulfiling, so they just sit around and watch twitch and youtube to fill the void.
The average person assumes an internet celebrity is popular and has lots of friends. But they actually spend a lot of time online not interacting with real people. It's fake, a lot of it, those people give the illusion of popularity, yet if they were really that popular, they wouldn't spend so much time online.
I am a lonely person...why? Because everyone is spending too much time online, before the net, people got bored and after reading that magazine for the 3rd time, you went out and found other bored people to hang with, then you were no longer bored. Seems to be a real thirst for real human companionship and all we get is a reasonable facsimile thereof.
Thanks for the upload, bestie
Oh.. well that's sad, unfortunately I can't get more friends. it's my fault
I’m not involved with twitch or onlyfans and is still am lonely, I don’t need live interactions, people have non live interactions plenty aswell, we haven’t even made it to those places yet, tiktok and UA-cam ect , the non interacting, are actually more common
Gotta shoutout C418 for the track @ 3:44. He’s other music besides the Minecraft OSTs I feel go so unappreciated. I was really happy to see one used in a video. :)
"Influencers" aka creators and celebrities are treated like a in-between of a fictional character and a real person the lines between the two are now blured qnd a lot of the time the "character" becomes the "real" "person"
Your point is definitely interesting. The on screen personality is akin to a one dimensional fictional character in a book or movie, but our brains still know there’s a real person back there.
@@galehunter2519 yeah but a lot don't act like it. people lewd them ship them and overall treat them like characters to manipulate
@@Lumberjack_king hell back in the day when I watched more influencers people always used the excuse "I-I'm drawing porn of their Online Persona, not THEM specifically..." As if that made it less fucking creepy...
@@Homodemon exactly also they still do it jaiden being a prime example
I definitely of guilty of having a parasocial relationship with a few content creators. For me i feel like its an overall positive on my life. However I do believe it is filling a void just enough that I feel socially satisfied in ways that I don’t feel the need to go out of my way to make new friends or even foster my existing friendships. So that definitely is the danger of getting stuck in a trap where you’re comfortable and becoming more antisocial
I didn’t even know of this para-asocial relationship thing, it’s just really sad seeing many people reduced to this level of “not touching grass”
@Jayka it really is easy though go outside meet new people do new things rather than sulk on the Internet looking for attention.
@Jayka it's as easy as talking to a clerk at a store if it's not busy.
Granted it's harder to socialize offline because everyone is on their phones all the time.
@@Nobody-y5t5j you don't have to be either.
@@Nobody-y5t5j you don't have to be neurotypical I meant.
@Jayka start by something small and work your way up. Saying hi to people and work your way up there.
Are ya clear soldier?
yeah okay I needed this buddy
Bro please make more videos
I need something good to listen to in the background while playing games or procrastinating writing these psychology notes due in 3 hours
Man idk what to do, I am so lonely and I just finished watching neon genesis evangelion, in the anime the characters open up a lot about their feelings and the main characters are all deeply troubled. This made me feel like I know and understand them on a deeper level than I have ever understood anyone. I am scared that I might never seek out proper relationships because I will get stuck in a parasocial one. I now fully understand why people become obsessed with anime and characters to the point of social isolation. I used to clown on these guys and look down on them for their maladaptive habits but I can feel myself becoming one of them.
*Yeah we’re lonely, but at least we’re lonely together* right, gang? *hello?* *anyone?*
yep
_crickets_
@@jumesouslapluie *hello darkness my old friend*
Clark...you did it again!
I don’t have many friends anymore. The one I do have is very busy with his life so we can’t talk very much but we still do when we can usually. I think I made it out good because back in the aol and early Xbox live days I was never allowed to talk to anybody so I never developed this type of relationship. That also made me not commonly chat and or comment as other people.
Talking to friends/other players in game is not what parasocial means
What about those of us who never liked Human interaction in the first place. Online interaction is a novelty to me. I dislike most live stream content because it's real people, but random comment conversations are interesting and engaging. I can have only necessary Human interaction for months and never felt any negative effects that I'm aware of. I love a good book. I know more about fictional characters than most of the people in my life and constantly forget to learn my coworkers names.
cope.
@BusinessWolf1 You didn’t answer their question though.
@@Funeral_Mannequin well if they are able to have a fulfilling life (job, able to buy necessities, happiness) then it's ok. If not, they need therapy. It's that simple 🤷♀️ As a weeb, I can relate, and it honestly just sounds like introversion or autism...
Capitalism breeds isolation and loneliness 😪😪😪 the antidote is fostering community and human connection wherever and in any way that we can!!!
Our existence is existentially/philosophically/psychologically very strange at this time.
Where is it going to go after this?
What will their existence be like? I have the feeling it will be unrecognizable from what we live currently. The way we live now is already so very alien to how we in different times and places before lived.
It makes sense that if you tend to be lonely, it will only get worse - coz making friends out of strangers is a skill and a "muscle". If you are not good at it at 20, and you don't practice, you will not magically get that ability at 30. (While also losing some friends coz life happens)
Imagine the world when AI reaches its peak. The evolution of our parasocial relationships will be unprecedented, blurring the lines between virtual connections and reality even further.
I`m pretty sure I`m lonely for so long that I rarely feel loneliness anymore. I know that sounds stupid but I think that is what happend to me.
Unfortunately that's what that happens to me right now.
And btw if you want,i'd like to be your friend
@@mahir2117 Thanks Mahir I be happy to call you friend and I hope that things will get better for you soon.
@@stadtbekanntertunichtgut thank you. İ wish these for you too. Would you mind make conversation.
incredible video
this was me i vividly remember realizing i was obsessed with kian
thanks for the video clark, love you lots xxxxx
This is our future
Haha LMAO at the end of the video Patreon ad, “if you want to be my best friend”, a respectful laugh, laughing with you I presume.
Clark, dearest, i just subscribed based on yhis one video. You will never leave me. We are in love
Its weird. I am lonely but I am happy. I guess you would call me a "loner" but I am not miserable. I dont use social media, I don't "follow" people online, I kind of just pay attention to myself and my abilities. I want to improve myself. I feel like I focus best when I am alone. Never wanted tot chase the crowd because I get anxious about if people like me. Now I just live a quiet life and focus on myself while maintaining real connections with family and some friends. I learned that family is what really matters though. If you dont have a family go find one!
It's pretty strange. I was watching videos on Liminal Spaces and then this was the next video recommended. I remember having this thought a long time ago.. watching certain influences and celebrities was enjoyable, but I said to myself. "I don't want to just be a consumer, I want to be a producer". My passion for film and music is one explanation for why I make content, but it feels odd. Like I'm trying to connect to people I don't even know.
this is really eye opening
I LOVE UR CONTENT MERCI FOR UPLOADING
aw shit I just realized im feeding into creating a parasocial relationship ??? am I?
Probably...
I've never really understood this, its cool to have a favorite streamer, or UA-camr, but that's a person you've probably never met before and they don't know you
_We’re Finally Landing_ by Home - nice choice of music at the start.
Anyone particularly drawn to the images in rhe thumbnail and parts of the video looking for more, they are technical masterworks by photographer Aristotle Roufanis. Every one of his works is ginourmas and created by taking hundreds of metered shots of his subjects at different times of the day and night, to achieve the look of impossible darkness. He's a hero of mine.
Thank you!
0:13 Wait, are you breaking up with us?
Awesome video! If I had to add an option I’d say, the majority of (modern) world culture is consumerism, not just America. I know some would call that a cope, but the point is still relevant. Historically this shift was post 1950s. if I had to make a guess, I’m assuming that technological development had a major roll, (plus a little propaganda?).
This video really opened my eyes. Thank you so much for making this.