It is my understanding that you signed that adoption agreement under duress. Virginia defines duress as the following: In Virginia, duress is defined as any action that would cause a reasonable person to fear harm or injury to themselves or others if they do not comply. This can include physical or emotional threats, intimidation, or coercion. Examples of duress in the context of adoption may include: - Emotional manipulation: If someone uses emotional manipulation or blackmail to coerce you into giving consent, this may be considered duress. - False promises: If someone promises you financial or other benefits in exchange for your consent, but then does not follow through, this could be considered duress. - Isolation: If someone isolates you from family or friends, or denies you access to resources or support, this could be considered duress.
I asked lawyers in the years after. I was made certain I didn’t have a case. Natural mothers are never sided with. Our capitalist country celebrates privatized adoption regardless of the evidence of corruption and coercion, and the lack of resources, available to women to help them parent.
Following your story. I am so very sorry you went through all of this. Your story is educating more people than you know. Do you still speak to your parents? Have they ever taken ownership for their actions?
Even when an adoption is entered into freely by birth parents, it still involves grief. But the fact that you were coerced, is just unspeakable. I am a parent of two children(now grown) through open adoption. I don’t understand how any adoptive parent could be a part of a coerced adoption. I am so sorry that this happened to you and your husband.
Im adopted and 57 now. I feel so much for you. I never got to meet my birth mother but it would have been nice. She put a fake name on the birth certificate so when i started looking I obviously got nowhere. Then she told her two children just before she took her own life. So they didn't know about me til then. She was an old woman when she died but she threw herself into a canal. Her story was in the local newspaper. I cried my eyes out when I discovered the way she passed. Then 5 years later my adoptive Mother passed and 7 days after that my adoptive brother took his own life by jumping off a block of flats, 14 floors up. That was in the local newspaper as well. I still haven't met my birth family because I have no self-confidence. Also they seem to know who my birth father was but they won't tell me. Also : I started looking for my birth mother when I was 18.
I never leave comments on UA-cam. This may be my first time ever. I’m watching from South Africa (all your videos). Wow Abbi, it’s hard to find words. I absolutely cannot fathom what you’ve had to navigate. I admire your strength and bravery to share your story- one of the most powerful, pain-riddled stories I’ve ever heard. You are amazing. I so badly want justice for you. I’m impacted. Sending you so much love ❤
Omg Abbi this is Kelly, I have so many feelings hearing all this. Everything is could’ve would’ve should’ve from the outside. But I KNOW this…if I would’ve known any of the this I would’ve taken you in no questions asked 💔 no one would’ve stopped me!
What in the 1960’s archaic BS issssss this???!!! I’m sure if I were in your shoes (I’m a bit older, even) my parents would have done the same. I still can’t wrap my head around the logic. The goal should always be having less trauma generation after generation, but that’s obviously not the case. You’re such a beautiful person and I’m so sorry that you have not been supported the way you should have been. The insight and elegance in the way you speak speaks to my soul. Boundaries are the way to go, my friend. It took decades for me to get there, but I fully support you on that. ❤️
As an educator, in hearing your story, I keep thinking, 'I wish one of your teachers or school counselors would've/could've been your advocate and helped you.'~before you got sent away. Seems like maybe you should've had a social worker from the hospital, not from the adoption agency.
I'm sorry you where traumatized by your family, Liberty Godparents Home, and the adoption agency. I believe the need to control of your parents and their version of Christianity is based out of fear. I believe love is the opposite of fear. You didn't have any choice. Your parents were controlling your life and choices. I hope your son opens his heart to his birth family and you find peace.
It is my understanding that you signed that adoption agreement under duress. Virginia defines duress as the following:
In Virginia, duress is defined as any action that would cause a reasonable person to fear harm or injury to themselves or others if they do not comply. This can include physical or emotional threats, intimidation, or coercion. Examples of duress in the context of adoption may include:
- Emotional manipulation: If someone uses emotional manipulation or blackmail to coerce you into giving consent, this may be considered duress.
- False promises: If someone promises you financial or other benefits in exchange for your consent, but then does not follow through, this could be considered duress.
- Isolation: If someone isolates you from family or friends, or denies you access to resources or support, this could be considered duress.
They will then use the " best interest of the child" argument to uphold the adoption, even if illegal and unethical.
I asked lawyers in the years after. I was made certain I didn’t have a case. Natural mothers are never sided with. Our capitalist country celebrates privatized adoption regardless of the evidence of corruption and coercion, and the lack of resources, available to women to help them parent.
Following your story. I am so very sorry you went through all of this. Your story is educating more people than you know.
Do you still speak to your parents? Have they ever taken ownership for their actions?
Even when an adoption is entered into freely by birth parents, it still involves grief. But the fact that you were coerced, is just unspeakable. I am a parent of two children(now grown) through open adoption. I don’t understand how any adoptive parent could be a part of a coerced adoption. I am so sorry that this happened to you and your husband.
Im adopted and 57 now. I feel so much for you. I never got to meet my birth mother but it would have been nice. She put a fake name on the birth certificate so when i started looking I obviously got nowhere. Then she told her two children just before she took her own life. So they didn't know about me til then. She was an old woman when she died but she threw herself into a canal. Her story was in the local newspaper. I cried my eyes out when I discovered the way she passed.
Then 5 years later my adoptive Mother passed and 7 days after that my adoptive brother took his own life by jumping off a block of flats, 14 floors up. That was in the local newspaper as well.
I still haven't met my birth family because I have no self-confidence.
Also they seem to know who my birth father was but they won't tell me.
Also : I started looking for my birth mother when I was 18.
I never leave comments on UA-cam. This may be my first time ever. I’m watching from South Africa (all your videos). Wow Abbi, it’s hard to find words. I absolutely cannot fathom what you’ve had to navigate. I admire your strength and bravery to share your story- one of the most powerful, pain-riddled stories I’ve ever heard. You are amazing. I so badly want justice for you. I’m impacted. Sending you so much love ❤
🧡🧡🧡
Omg Abbi this is Kelly, I have so many feelings hearing all this. Everything is could’ve would’ve should’ve from the outside. But I KNOW this…if I would’ve known any of the this I would’ve taken you in no questions asked 💔 no one would’ve stopped me!
I know it’s not the time or place but I want to apologize for what my family did/didn’t do. I need to help others in this place…what can I do?!?!
Please tell me that you went NC with your family.
What in the 1960’s archaic BS issssss this???!!! I’m sure if I were in your shoes (I’m a bit older, even) my parents would have done the same. I still can’t wrap my head around the logic. The goal should always be having less trauma generation after generation, but that’s obviously not the case. You’re such a beautiful person and I’m so sorry that you have not been supported the way you should have been. The insight and elegance in the way you speak speaks to my soul. Boundaries are the way to go, my friend. It took decades for me to get there, but I fully support you on that. ❤️
As an educator, in hearing your story, I keep thinking, 'I wish one of your teachers or school counselors would've/could've been your advocate and helped you.'~before you got sent away. Seems like maybe you should've had a social worker from the hospital, not from the adoption agency.
So do you allow your parents to be in your life.
I can't even stomach the selfishness absolutely dispacable behavior and motives of your parents..
I am so sorry. My heart hurts for u.
I'm sorry you where traumatized by your family, Liberty Godparents Home, and the adoption agency. I believe the need to control of your parents and their version of Christianity is based out of fear. I believe love is the opposite of fear. You didn't have any choice. Your parents were controlling your life and choices. I hope your son opens his heart to his birth family and you find peace.