My ex- narc's mother was sneaky, shady, and always causing issues purposefully. She was always competing with food, caretaking of family, and inserting herself between my ability to build a relationship with my ex-narc's son. She was the virus and the virus maker.
So true! My mom is a wicked, narcissistic, borderline (BPD) and I've been NC from her since she attacked me and my dad with a butcher knife in April 2013 then lied to the police that we attacked her. My nose got split open that night and I needed emergency masofacial surgery to close up the gapping whole in the middle of my face 😔. Listening to these e-books 📚 really opened my eyes that I am the healthy one, I wasn't defective like she made me feel, she was envious of me and my dad's relationship, and she was projecting how she felt about herself on to me all those years. Don't ever believe a person with a distorted perception of reality. I hope these help as much as they helped me heal. I'm still healing my mother wound but I've come along way bcz of educating myself on narcissistic abuse, being the scapegoat of a Narcissistic Dysfunctional Family System, and watching UA-camrs like Lee Hammock, Richard Grannon, Jay Reid, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, 1) "Mother Hunger" by Kelly McDaniel, 2) "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson, 3) "Understanding the Borderline Mother" by Christine Ann Lawson 4) "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker 5) "Out of The Fog" by Dana Morningstar 6) "Stop Walking on Eggshells, Third Edition" by Paul T. Mason & Randi Kreger 7) "It's Not You" by Ramani Durvasula, PhD 8) "How to Do the Work" by Dr. Nicole LePera 9) "Surviving A Borderline Parent" by Kimberlee Roth & Freda B. Friedman 10) "What Happened to You?" by Oprah Winfrey & Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD
Sorry you went through that with your mom. My mom has always favored my brothers over my sister and I. We do everything for her and she acts like it’s expected of us, not appreciative. She has no problem insulting us or siding with my brothers especially the one who’s on meth. He can do no wrong even when it’s obvious he’s lying or did something she acts like we’re the bad ones. And the fact that we have to point it out is crazy. Like she can’t tell between right and wrong with them. I wish I knew what I know now. I would’ve cut contact 30 years ago instead of bending over backwards for her. That goes for my father as well. Take care!
This is definitely my mother. She's negative with me but has a weird love for my brother....and his daughter!!! She doesn't care much for me and my son. Ive been keeping a distance and will continue in 2025 🙏🏽 I deserve peace ❤
This is very sad truth that I have finally come to grips with . Freeeeeeeeedom! I am a woman, and for years I didn’t understand why she hated me so much! She does not hate me, she literally wants to be me. It’s scary. I love her anyway, just from a distance. It also makes sense as to why I stay in other relationships so long, because that was version of what love looked like. ❤ Happy Healing Everyone! Have a Happy New Year! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
same. 😢 I forgive but it is hard to forget. When the one person who should be in your corner is actually the one beating you up. It melts you from the inside.
Happy New Year Lee what you are saying is spot on my ex of 29 years of marriage is also a narsacist. His mother is a malignant narsacist she raised 3 boys they all are narsacist as well.She has broken up all there marriages . Now they are taking care of her like she is their wife. This is a very sick relationship. I’m just so glad you spoke about this. I wasted 29 years of my life not knowing what a narsacist even 😊was. I had two kids with this man. So thank you again for speaking on this topic. People beware. These people will ruin your life purposely.
I agree. My own mother is a malignant narcissist and she is very controlling. When I turned 18 I left her to go live with my father. It took some time but my brother realized just how toxic she is. He told me it took him 3 years to realize that she was stealing half of his money whenever he got paid and when he confronted her about it she would often rage and gaslight
My mom (89) is a narcissis with undiagnosed dementia. I used to be her golden child until I started speaking up for myself. It's tiring...she does scummy things. 😢
Yep and they get worse with age!!! They'll Never change so (if it's possible and you don't live with her) Start 2025 No Contact. You don't need to give an explanation just Block her on Everything and work on you're Own Happiness,Soul and Mental health. You owe her Nothing however you owe it to yourself to Stay Sane and at Peace in All aspects of your life!!! Happy New Year!🇬🇧🕊💜
👏🏼👏🏼 I feel so validated. My NM will travel any distance and go to any length to tear me down or hold me back. I left the state, built my own new life, and she infiltrated by befriending my MIL and bringing her on an international trip to watch her do public speaking events on her profession. The thought process for that entire family became “How could someone so “together” be lying about their own child? Why would she do that? The daughter must be the problem.” Where can you even go from that?
Let those people be. Whoever is that gullible to be sucked in didn't deserve to be in your life anyway.. they're unreliable and have no back bone. Only the ones that know you and can see what the lies get a sear at your table.
My my mom was diagnosed with npd and bipolar 1. It's very frustrating how misused the word narcissist is. Her like was definitely a sad one. She was diagnosed after i was born. But I just dont think she got the help she needed. I also dont think the help was available back then. People use the word like its pure evil. It's not. Which is probably the most frustrating part.
It can be evil though. We all know by now these personality disorders formed because of trauma BUT that doesn't mean we have to take the abuse. We're not here to be anyones (emotional) pouncing bag
@jenster29 I'm not disagree with not taking the abuse. I ended up with Borderline because of my mother. I'm aware. But I also know they are sick and part of npd is living in a false reality of self, an inflated one. They need help so they can learn to tell reality from what their disorder wants them to believe. How to control what's going on with them. Nobody said to take abuse. I sure didn't. But this is a real disorder. Not every toxic or abusive person has it. So, to have the word narcissist overused, it is frustrating. For the people afflicted and the ones that love them. They aren't evil, they are only capable of it. Which is true of every human being giving the right conditions. Sociology shows us that. I'm sorry if someone with NPD or any cluster b hurt you. Trust me, I know that pain. But it's not okay to call them evil. They are people that are badly damaged and need help. Not to be stigmatized as evil.....
@@jenster29 yeah, but if we have a cartoon view of the disorder and then see counterfactuals and that NPD ppl can be fully human, we drop our armour. That's when the real hurting starts. Better to see the whole disorder and the whole person so we can react and behave optimally
Please do more on this topic? I value a realistic, experience-based insight into the abusive people that I love, even after permanently going no contact with them
Once my exes mom realize he wasn’t gonna move to another state for her and found out I was pregnant, she flipped on me. We used to be on the phone for hours just talking and I felt like I should’ve had her as a mom but she was just mirroring me so get info on her son. She said and does the nastiest things to him. And now he does the same to her and calls her for money for his drug habits. She hates me and calls my baby ugly. Her son is terrible to me because I don’t want to put up with his crap. My baby is beautiful and I think her jealousy is because he didn’t get a girl pregnant that had her body type like she used to tell him when he was younger. I have an athletic/ supermodel build and height. She’s short and fat and takes pride in having a big butt. Idk how she looked as a younger person but she’s very ugly right now.
You’re absolutely correct, my mom became friends with a girl that I did not care for from High School and would sit around a talk about me with her, like an episode of mean girls. I had already stopped talking to my mom but the girl told someone that told me. SMH
My mom. She would scream at me that I'll never be as pretty or as smart as her. She only liked my boyfrinds that were abusive. Both sisters. 1 grandiose and 1 covert (obviosu to me) My dad is aloof and selfish. My ex was the worst. The police called him "a family ANNIHILATOR" Both ex's mom were bonkers evil. Ugh. God help us all. I know alot of cool people know tho. Knowledge is power. Stick with the winners or fly solo
Looking for a mother figure outside of your actual narcissistic mom only to find that your mother in law hates you as well and is also narcissistic with her son.
My mother was fantastic but my grandma, who helped with my childcare, was an extremely unstable adult. Idk if it was narcissism, bipolar, genuine evil or both but the things she said about me, the competition she put me and my younger sister into, the way she would lie about things we did to get us in trouble…..
Serious question....she told me to my face once she really didn't like me...then i started dating, and the whole time she acted like whatever he did for me(like buying flowers) he did for her. I used to compare him to her, thinking they both were so nice... i married him.Learned later they BOTH were like this. And he treated me the worst. Abused the sh-t out of me. The question i have, after remembering things, patterns, behaviors... and he would say things like if she was my age when we were dating, that he'd have gone after my mother. She knew this and 'acted' offended.Would she have gone so far as to have been inappropriate with my then husband or worse: we had a fight and i brought it up. She's been refusing to talk, ignores me, the last time we saw each other she had my dad screaming at me because instead of face me, she wants me to forgive and start over. Can someone help with this?
Go no contact. You refuse to surah to her until she apologies. You are also an adult now and deserve the same respect as everyone else. Your parents are not more important than you and you are not responsible for how they feel. She had the tantrum, she needs to calm down and apologize
sadly, there is no way to get through to her, or to your dad, if he is under her influence. Maybe watcj more of this channel and the Heal NPD channel to get insights into why and how to survive. Patrick Teahan also has good content on going no contact. good luck❤
My mother 👩🏾 is a narcissist and extremely jealous of me. I cut her off because she lies so much and people just believe her. I’ve never dated. So I don’t have experience with a narcissist man, but I’ve experienced it in family relationships.
My mom was totally self-centered and self serving. She abandoned her 4 children at a welfare center. Then lefted us in the system of our entire lives up until her death. She never said sorry or asked for forgiveness 🧐
My ex was a narc I have his only daughter and she is the only child he ignores. I honestly think his sister was even worse she was so ridiculously manipulative and hateful. she always seemed to HATE her daughter but was always fawning over her sons. The way she treated men was insane. Sad all the way around.
This half sibling and her mom that I don’t know are competing with me. 😅 my mom who raised me all my life is deceased so it clearly can’t be my mom now can it ☕️ .
Toxic moms are 1000% real, and completely accurate as a messed up mother in law.
My ex- narc's mother was sneaky, shady, and always causing issues purposefully. She was always competing with food, caretaking of family, and inserting herself between my ability to build a relationship with my ex-narc's son. She was the virus and the virus maker.
My mother was really jealous of me. It was awful. I worked so hard to make her happy and be proud of me... it just made it worse.
I am sorry 💔
Me to - I was never good enough to my mom.
This is not talked about enough
So true! My mom is a wicked, narcissistic, borderline (BPD) and I've been NC from her since she attacked me and my dad with a butcher knife in April 2013 then lied to the police that we attacked her. My nose got split open that night and I needed emergency masofacial surgery to close up the gapping whole in the middle of my face 😔.
Listening to these e-books 📚 really opened my eyes that I am the healthy one, I wasn't defective like she made me feel, she was envious of me and my dad's relationship, and she was projecting how she felt about herself on to me all those years. Don't ever believe a person with a distorted perception of reality. I hope these help as much as they helped me heal. I'm still healing my mother wound but I've come along way bcz of educating myself on narcissistic abuse, being the scapegoat of a Narcissistic Dysfunctional Family System, and watching UA-camrs like Lee Hammock, Richard Grannon, Jay Reid, Dr. Ramani Durvasula,
1) "Mother Hunger" by Kelly McDaniel,
2) "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson,
3) "Understanding the Borderline Mother" by Christine Ann Lawson
4) "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker
5) "Out of The Fog" by Dana Morningstar
6) "Stop Walking on Eggshells, Third Edition" by Paul T. Mason & Randi Kreger
7) "It's Not You" by Ramani Durvasula, PhD
8) "How to Do the Work" by Dr. Nicole LePera
9) "Surviving A Borderline Parent" by Kimberlee Roth & Freda B. Friedman
10) "What Happened to You?" by Oprah Winfrey & Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD
Sorry you went through that with your mom. My mom has always favored my brothers over my sister and I. We do everything for her and she acts like it’s expected of us, not appreciative. She has no problem insulting us or siding with my brothers especially the one who’s on meth. He can do no wrong even when it’s obvious he’s lying or did something she acts like we’re the bad ones. And the fact that we have to point it out is crazy. Like she can’t tell between right and wrong with them. I wish I knew what I know now. I would’ve cut contact 30 years ago instead of bending over backwards for her. That goes for my father as well. Take care!
This is definitely my mother. She's negative with me but has a weird love for my brother....and his daughter!!! She doesn't care much for me and my son. Ive been keeping a distance and will continue in 2025 🙏🏽
I deserve peace ❤
This is very sad truth that I have finally come to grips with . Freeeeeeeeedom! I am a woman, and for years I didn’t understand why she hated me so much! She does not hate me, she literally wants to be me. It’s scary. I love her anyway, just from a distance. It also makes sense as to why I stay in other relationships so long, because that was version of what love looked like. ❤ Happy Healing Everyone! Have a Happy New Year! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Back at you mine stole from me and my kids. Awful
@@ReRe_642 I’m sorry😞
Amen Amen Amen!!! I learned this late in life. Had I known when I was younger, I would have made other decisions in life.
same. 😢 I forgive but it is hard to forget. When the one person who should be in your corner is actually the one beating you up. It melts you from the inside.
Awww😢😢
He speaks TRUTH ! These Toxic mom's DO become such TOXIC Mothers-In-Laws !! Wish I knew that 29 years ago.
Happy New Year Lee what you are saying is spot on my ex of 29 years of marriage is also a narsacist. His mother is a malignant narsacist she raised 3 boys they all are narsacist as well.She has broken up all there marriages . Now they are taking care of her like she is their wife. This is a very sick relationship. I’m just so glad you spoke about this. I wasted 29 years of my life not knowing what a narsacist even 😊was. I had two kids with this man. So thank you again for speaking on this topic. People beware. These people will ruin your life purposely.
I agree. My own mother is a malignant narcissist and she is very controlling. When I turned 18 I left her to go live with my father. It took some time but my brother realized just how toxic she is. He told me it took him 3 years to realize that she was stealing half of his money whenever he got paid and when he confronted her about it she would often rage and gaslight
My mom (89) is a narcissis with undiagnosed dementia. I used to be her golden child until I started speaking up for myself. It's tiring...she does scummy things. 😢
Yep and they get worse with age!!! They'll Never change so (if it's possible and you don't live with her) Start 2025 No Contact. You don't need to give an explanation just Block her on Everything and work on you're Own Happiness,Soul and Mental health. You owe her Nothing however you owe it to yourself to Stay Sane and at Peace in All aspects of your life!!! Happy New Year!🇬🇧🕊💜
My mom hated me but she relied on me most of my life to care for the family.
Same
👏🏼👏🏼 I feel so validated. My NM will travel any distance and go to any length to tear me down or hold me back. I left the state, built my own new life, and she infiltrated by befriending my MIL and bringing her on an international trip to watch her do public speaking events on her profession. The thought process for that entire family became “How could someone so “together” be lying about their own child? Why would she do that? The daughter must be the problem.”
Where can you even go from that?
Let those people be. Whoever is that gullible to be sucked in didn't deserve to be in your life anyway.. they're unreliable and have no back bone.
Only the ones that know you and can see what the lies get a sear at your table.
Yep, yep. Nothing but the truth spoken here.
My mother 😭😭
Ditto!
Ditto
This is straight facts on facts! 😅
They get worse with age. Sometimes they switch from malignant to covert. Don't mistake that for a positive change. Happy 2025 you all!!
This is my mom and it’s hella sad 🙄😮💨
Mine too!!
Ms. kraykray is one reason why I left her son. She won't even let him live with her. He's in his car or the streets.
My my mom was diagnosed with npd and bipolar 1. It's very frustrating how misused the word narcissist is. Her like was definitely a sad one. She was diagnosed after i was born. But I just dont think she got the help she needed. I also dont think the help was available back then. People use the word like its pure evil. It's not. Which is probably the most frustrating part.
It can be evil though. We all know by now these personality disorders formed because of trauma BUT that doesn't mean we have to take the abuse. We're not here to be anyones (emotional) pouncing bag
@jenster29 I'm not disagree with not taking the abuse. I ended up with Borderline because of my mother. I'm aware. But I also know they are sick and part of npd is living in a false reality of self, an inflated one. They need help so they can learn to tell reality from what their disorder wants them to believe. How to control what's going on with them. Nobody said to take abuse. I sure didn't. But this is a real disorder. Not every toxic or abusive person has it. So, to have the word narcissist overused, it is frustrating. For the people afflicted and the ones that love them. They aren't evil, they are only capable of it. Which is true of every human being giving the right conditions. Sociology shows us that. I'm sorry if someone with NPD or any cluster b hurt you. Trust me, I know that pain. But it's not okay to call them evil. They are people that are badly damaged and need help. Not to be stigmatized as evil.....
@@jenster29 yeah, but if we have a cartoon view of the disorder and then see counterfactuals and that NPD ppl can be fully human, we drop our armour. That's when the real hurting starts. Better to see the whole disorder and the whole person so we can react and behave optimally
Please do more on this topic? I value a realistic, experience-based insight into the abusive people that I love, even after permanently going no contact with them
Once my exes mom realize he wasn’t gonna move to another state for her and found out I was pregnant, she flipped on me. We used to be on the phone for hours just talking and I felt like I should’ve had her as a mom but she was just mirroring me so get info on her son. She said and does the nastiest things to him. And now he does the same to her and calls her for money for his drug habits. She hates me and calls my baby ugly. Her son is terrible to me because I don’t want to put up with his crap. My baby is beautiful and I think her jealousy is because he didn’t get a girl pregnant that had her body type like she used to tell him when he was younger. I have an athletic/ supermodel build and height. She’s short and fat and takes pride in having a big butt. Idk how she looked as a younger person but she’s very ugly right now.
You’re absolutely correct, my mom became friends with a girl that I did not care for from High School and would sit around a talk about me with her, like an episode of mean girls. I had already stopped talking to my mom but the girl told someone that told me. SMH
My mom. She would scream at me that I'll never be as pretty or as smart as her. She only liked my boyfrinds that were abusive.
Both sisters. 1 grandiose and 1 covert (obviosu to me)
My dad is aloof and selfish. My ex was the worst. The police called him "a family ANNIHILATOR"
Both ex's mom were bonkers evil. Ugh. God help us all.
I know alot of cool people know tho. Knowledge is power. Stick with the winners or fly solo
Looking for a mother figure outside of your actual narcissistic mom only to find that your mother in law hates you as well and is also narcissistic with her son.
That’s my mom!
Same 😢
My mother was fantastic but my grandma, who helped with my childcare, was an extremely unstable adult. Idk if it was narcissism, bipolar, genuine evil or both but the things she said about me, the competition she put me and my younger sister into, the way she would lie about things we did to get us in trouble…..
Serious question....she told me to my face once she really didn't like me...then i started dating, and the whole time she acted like whatever he did for me(like buying flowers) he did for her. I used to compare him to her, thinking they both were so nice... i married him.Learned later they BOTH were like this. And he treated me the worst. Abused the sh-t out of me. The question i have, after remembering things, patterns, behaviors... and he would say things like if she was my age when we were dating, that he'd have gone after my mother. She knew this and 'acted' offended.Would she have gone so far as to have been inappropriate with my then husband or worse: we had a fight and i brought it up. She's been refusing to talk, ignores me, the last time we saw each other she had my dad screaming at me because instead of face me, she wants me to forgive and start over. Can someone help with this?
Go no contact. You refuse to surah to her until she apologies. You are also an adult now and deserve the same respect as everyone else. Your parents are not more important than you and you are not responsible for how they feel.
She had the tantrum, she needs to calm down and apologize
sadly, there is no way to get through to her, or to your dad, if he is under her influence. Maybe watcj more of this channel and the Heal NPD channel to get insights into why and how to survive. Patrick Teahan also has good content on going no contact. good luck❤
Yes and that's why I'm here.
My mother 👩🏾 is a narcissist and extremely jealous of me. I cut her off because she lies so much and people just believe her. I’ve never dated. So I don’t have experience with a narcissist man, but I’ve experienced it in family relationships.
My mom was totally self-centered and self serving. She abandoned her 4 children at a welfare center. Then lefted us in the system of our entire lives up until her death. She never said sorry or asked for forgiveness 🧐
My ex was a narc I have his only daughter and she is the only child he ignores. I honestly think his sister was even worse she was so ridiculously manipulative and hateful. she always seemed to HATE her daughter but was always fawning over her sons. The way she treated men was insane. Sad all the way around.
Mom and Dad over here. 🙋🏽♀️
This half sibling and her mom that I don’t know are competing with me. 😅 my mom who raised me all my life is deceased so it clearly can’t be my mom now can it ☕️ .
🎯💯
1000% true!
My aunt and my cousin
My mom!!!!!!!!
Thats because they never met there dad's 😆 🤣 naw fr moms can b toxic
Yes true
Yes
Mine competed with me and I'm her son
Even try take over what you do with your children ex partner condones that that’s messed up part