Why Does Your Partner Put You Down or Devalue You?

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  • Опубліковано 23 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 88

  • @sophiaann2986
    @sophiaann2986 6 місяців тому +58

    They lie and make excuses to treat the closest one to them like crap but treat complete strangers better

    • @ave383
      @ave383 Місяць тому +1

      Yes this is how my ex wife treats me. It makes no sense. If my father is any example they always regret it later

  • @DARKhorses73
    @DARKhorses73 4 місяці тому +18

    Just left mine! Back to being happy and having peace. Constant harassment is not healthy, and it doesn't matter how stomg your mind is. It will get to you eventually .

    • @Romimusicaymas
      @Romimusicaymas 13 днів тому

      How could you did it? Have an 8 hour job? I have only a part time.

    • @DARKhorses73
      @DARKhorses73 13 днів тому

      ​@@Romimusicaymasi was in the military . I have a retirement and successful before marriage

  • @christopherdavis4353
    @christopherdavis4353 8 місяців тому +7

    I was getting a promotion my girlfiend was so upset tearing me down when everyone else was happy for me

  • @em-hw3cv
    @em-hw3cv 11 місяців тому +15

    Currently going through this with my husband … it’s so hard and I’m holding on for our baby who is only a few months old … I call out his behaviour and he scolds me more for calling him out or ignores me for days for speaking up…. It’s so hard 😢

    • @MarcoCastillo97
      @MarcoCastillo97 8 місяців тому +5

      I hope you gain the strength to leave him without having any big altercations.

    • @SunQueen-d7l
      @SunQueen-d7l 5 місяців тому +6

      🎉if u stay ur teaching ur child to accept self-abuse. run🏃‍♀️ . lean on God for strength to put urself & baby 1st 🙏 leave toxicity by any means necessary...love is NEVER pain.

    • @caitlinsoliman1658
      @caitlinsoliman1658 5 місяців тому +3

      So sorry, he sounds like a narcissist

    • @tayanacreel09
      @tayanacreel09 2 місяці тому +1

      I am going through a similar situation and keep telling myself I will wait until my son finish school, that’s another 3 years. Nobody knows how hard is too deal with this. And if I opted out now, that means I need to change my son to a different school when he is doing excellent there, i decided to put my own happiness for him. But I truly feel hopeless at times. And there is so so much more I can say but i don’t want to re live so many things. Is just too sad

  • @berber8032
    @berber8032 10 місяців тому +7

    Thank you!
    I was sick to my stomach, but, NEEDED TO HEAR THIS!

  • @cherylfisher5280
    @cherylfisher5280 2 роки тому +24

    Thank you Yumay. Some parts of this remind me of how my mom treated me when I was growing up. Was a perfect way for me to learn how to be treated poorly by my partner.

    • @LifeIsLoveSchool
      @LifeIsLoveSchool  2 роки тому +7

      That's a keen observation! Our childhood sets up the blueprint for a relationship, and how our parents value us also seeds our self-valuation. It's why childhood abuse victims often become abuse victims in their adult relationships too. The good news is that we can heal and correct these distortions once we learn about the connection between our childhood and present-day. Thank you for sharing!

    • @FreelanceDeveloper-uk8nn
      @FreelanceDeveloper-uk8nn Рік тому +4

      This is true for me too. It's affected me in every relationship I've been in since my childhood.

    • @IngerLokke
      @IngerLokke 5 місяців тому +1

      Me too my mother is narrsessist so I needed to cut off contackt many times

    • @IngerLokke
      @IngerLokke 5 місяців тому

      And she did like my whole famely cut me off last time I told here if you do this one more time you never see me and my children again

    • @stellabenton199
      @stellabenton199 4 місяці тому

      Me too !! Mean abusive mother and past spouse and current husband is not respectful I’m tired of it.

  • @KristenKerner
    @KristenKerner Місяць тому +1

    Wow!!! This hits home with me/my life. I can't barely talk without being put down. Its grueling and you feel so low around that person. No matter how much I try.... it never matters bc its never enough. Its a really awful feeling. Yes, the push and pull dynamic is REAL.

  • @pallabichakraborty2856
    @pallabichakraborty2856 7 місяців тому +3

    Am helpless as am getting married to such person and a lot ot money has already been invested by my parents and now i cant back off😢

    • @steffsrzz4971
      @steffsrzz4971 7 місяців тому +4

      Yes you can.

    • @marcianeal3354
      @marcianeal3354 6 місяців тому +1

      Yes you can and should! First of all it'll be so wrong for you to live, and have others watch you be unhappy, no amount of money spent is worth that. Your parents love you and would not want you to live sad everyly after!! Don't do it!!

    • @HairsWhatsUp
      @HairsWhatsUp 4 місяці тому +2

      Divorce ain't cheap

  • @carolinebedikianmusic
    @carolinebedikianmusic 2 місяці тому +1

    very helpful video.... I've dealt with a partner putting me down in past. I wondered why

  • @alyssaxoxx.o
    @alyssaxoxx.o 2 місяці тому

    Great video! May god bless us all battling with a toxic relationship and feeling so small due to their behavior. 🙏🏼

  • @Godzilla_big_b
    @Godzilla_big_b 9 місяців тому +9

    I’m tired. I don’t want to live anymore.

    • @a.ja.j7807
      @a.ja.j7807 9 місяців тому +4

      Hey .. please don’t say that ..there’s so much to live for.. also know that no matter what God loves .. the best is yet to come .. be hopeful ❤

    • @pingoochee
      @pingoochee 7 місяців тому +3

      Hold on. Things WILL get better. Please hold on.

    • @Godzilla_big_b
      @Godzilla_big_b 7 місяців тому

      @@a.ja.j7807 🫶

    • @Godzilla_big_b
      @Godzilla_big_b 7 місяців тому +2

      @@pingoochee I’m trying 🫶
      Thank you for your support

    • @hillandgullyride-o
      @hillandgullyride-o 5 місяців тому

      Yeah, things will get better. I'm cheering us all on. ❤

  • @sanahasan1082
    @sanahasan1082 3 місяці тому +1

    Why they do this it's so frustrating

  • @aaadrinebusingye
    @aaadrinebusingye 2 місяці тому

    Hey beautiful 😍, you just came at the right time. This guy is driving me crazy , but he found me awake, and your video has made it clear to me what his intentions are. Thanks 😊

  • @mineandmine4528
    @mineandmine4528 3 місяці тому +1

    Short answer. It makes them feel superior while putting you down.

  • @planetZ999
    @planetZ999 Місяць тому

    My boyfriend is always criticizing how I wash dishes etc never what do you think

  • @judycraig9949
    @judycraig9949 4 місяці тому

    Thank you 🙏🏻 I just came across your video everything you talked about in this video is to the tee what I’ve been dealing with for 30 years.I want out of this marriage now I refuse to take this abuse anymore and my husband is trying to do something nice every day…It’s way to late I’ve physically and mentally have been checked out along time ago.Just didn’t have the courage to leave.Love myself now and deserve someone that supports and loves me back.❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @judycraig9949
    @judycraig9949 4 місяці тому

    Need to hear this and sent it my friend that needs to hear this as well.❤

  • @hectorsalazar1975
    @hectorsalazar1975 11 місяців тому +4

    I can say I was an ugly person at first with my girlfriend, honestly. Now, I am trying so hard to change who I am in her eyes, but it does not help when my ex-wife is on her side. To them, I will always be that person, and so that's why I usually say ...what's the use.

  • @IngerLokke
    @IngerLokke 7 місяців тому +3

    Wow its like have it and had it before how i get stronger?i am now there i feel everything is wrong with me and that im a bad person and thats not good..what do i need to do to protect my feelings..

  • @yulianarose.ovalles
    @yulianarose.ovalles Рік тому +2

    Amazing video , thank you for the guidance❤.

  • @sarahdelarosa2023
    @sarahdelarosa2023 2 дні тому

    it's exhausting:/

  • @chrisshowering7357
    @chrisshowering7357 4 місяці тому +1

    The other night I was looking something up with my remote, he says to me here give it to me you're too slow I'm much quicker what can zi say to that?

  • @God-favorite-daughter
    @God-favorite-daughter 4 місяці тому

    Oh my God. You Just described my husband

  • @VannessaSteenkamp
    @VannessaSteenkamp 6 місяців тому

    Thank you yumay im in the same relationship for 20 years😢😢😢😢

  • @joleenlinks7513
    @joleenlinks7513 5 місяців тому

    ADVICE PLEASE ANYBODY...colleague at work partner is nice person but puts her down at home. People don't believe. They adore him. What must she do? She feels broken but not even her pastor believes it. Overheard him and i believe her. Why he doing that? She changed. Not happy person anymore. PLEASE HELP.

    • @HairsWhatsUp
      @HairsWhatsUp 4 місяці тому

      Tell her to record everything

  • @dustin_echoes
    @dustin_echoes 15 днів тому

    The girl I was with constantly criticized everything about me from my appearance to my personality to my career. She even said multiple times that she disliked how big my head is. Like wtf the size of my head is out of my control bitch 😂. She also liked talking about how good her ex was at everything. It was pure hell.

  • @starbucks2101
    @starbucks2101 8 місяців тому +1

    Mine compares me to her ex or other people even my My own City i live in is compared. I lost my voice because im afraid if i defend myself it will cause us to fight again and we were in LDR only seeing twice a month. But its been 2 month since we lsst communicated and broke up i thought i was doing well until 3 days ago i just starting missing the idea of her and the regrets how could i have handled the situation. I dont know why. Keep fighting focusing on my busness right now and how to make lots of money.

    • @MirjamPeij
      @MirjamPeij 7 місяців тому

      Yes focus on yourself, on your own well-being, on what makes you happy. Do the things you want to do. That's not selfish. Don't go looking for someone or wait for someone. It'll happen spontaneously 😊 Best of luck

  • @janstiller803
    @janstiller803 2 місяці тому

    Thank u ❤ subscribed 🎉

  • @meanttobe3563
    @meanttobe3563 Місяць тому

    dear god my husband stoled our money lied to me did somany things and I stoped work so everyday he calls me fat that I dont do anything he took hounders of thousands. from me says he didnt steal cuz it was hes Monet 2 even tho we didnt make it togther I made it and then puts me down for not working even tho im loaning him money so he can work pl stop n pray that god gives me all my money back so I can show him im not worthless n so. I can have my own life that dont have abuse in it for. my health say a prayer for me to be blessed n have my own money agin he put me tru to much

  • @youreincredible1648
    @youreincredible1648 Рік тому +7

    He has been, talking down to me moaning about things i havent done.
    Being hot and cold.
    And am having his baby next month.

    • @mezlandia
      @mezlandia Рік тому +2

      I wish the best for your delivery 🙏🏻 I hope you have a support system to get you through… 💜 never give up on yourself!

  • @andalonds
    @andalonds 3 місяці тому

    Hum interesting. Learning so much

  • @renanlinard7
    @renanlinard7 5 місяців тому

    Thank you so much!

  • @leatalewis
    @leatalewis Рік тому

    Everything you say is true.

  • @patrice6287
    @patrice6287 Рік тому +2

    All of this!!!!!!!!

    • @BellaCorina11
      @BellaCorina11 8 місяців тому

      Please keep making videos- the word needs to understand what a toxic and healthy relationship is. So many people suffer in silence.

  • @hillandgullyride-o
    @hillandgullyride-o 5 місяців тому

    I do everything to try to make us financially stable because he is NOT working. Shut down all my business ideas which are for helping us move towards the future. Everyday he video games, I send him job opportunities I try to invest in his ideas but it's always constant criticism. I have made 2 online streams of income but they're not bringing enough but it does works. Just now, we had another argument about me doing too much, I should slow down he say. And the criticism doesn't come in the financial departments. It's really hard cause sometimes he praises me and sometimes he is just... I don't know. So now I'm being pushed into wearing the pants in relationship and I feel like I'm so close to having a mental breakdown or psychosis and if that happens it's the downfall of us. I almost lost him to another woman when I was sick in the hospital with bipolar disorder. Yes I have bipolar disorder now... stress makes me manic and psychosis. But I love him... I think his criticism is constructive I guess... but I wish he would just be more active in finding a job so that I can relax and focus on my health. But he has been jobless since January... it's June 😢

    • @musothreads9069
      @musothreads9069 5 місяців тому

      Do you focus all your energy on work and neglect your relationship?
      Are you overly focussed on your image toward the outside world and giving to strangers and coworkers but treat him with less respect than other people (especially other males)?
      Do you subtly put him down with snide remarks at home or try to himiliate him infront of others? Do you love him or are you just hoping to check a box of having a man in your life so that you look like a "complete package"?
      (Career, looks, relationship and whatever else)
      Was he employed and more vibrant and healthy and driven before you both started the relationship?
      Im asking you these questions NOT to be accusatory. But your comment sounds vaguely like my last relationship. Ive never been a video games guy. Ive always wanted to be successful and have an entrepreneurial mindset but i also have cptsd,adhd and autism and although i have great idwas and am very creative i lack the knowledge of how to get things off the ground so to speak with any business ideas.
      I have confidence but also self doubt. I put in all this effort and burnout at the last minute stressing about how maybe it wont work and i have asked the wrong people for advice who seem to only find fault in my ideas therefore i feel unsupported.

    • @musothreads9069
      @musothreads9069 5 місяців тому

      No man wants to be in a relationship where his woman thinks she is wearing the pants. It breeds disrespect in her and she will start to subconsciously pick him apart in a futile attempt to motivate him to do better.

    • @hillandgullyride-o
      @hillandgullyride-o 5 місяців тому +1

      I understand. No I work from home. I'm home 24/7, we see each other every second and we are each other's closest friends presently. We are just struggling because I only bring in 150 USD per week... and it's hard for it to sustain both people. The situation is dire but it's not as bad as people in the Palestine so I'm greatful.

    • @hillandgullyride-o
      @hillandgullyride-o 5 місяців тому +1

      I love him, we are each other's cheerleaders. Meeting him I've gained more depth about myself as a person. Maybe it's this constant disconnecting from the outside world and other people is affecting us. This is the most social I've been all year.

    • @musothreads9069
      @musothreads9069 5 місяців тому

      @hillandgullyride-o have you looked into attachment styles. I am anxious avoidant and she is dismissive avoidant and rhat equates to her feeling trapped and smothered with even the minimum of closeness. I feel abandoned and unloved with the less than required quality time.

  • @meanttobe3563
    @meanttobe3563 Місяць тому

    please say a prayer that god gives my income back so no one can put me down anymore im so tired of it its very sad everyday I have to be quiet n he puts me down cause he is working im not but he stoled evrything I had I just want my money back so I can have my self esteem n health back plz plz god

  • @nursekat8988
    @nursekat8988 10 місяців тому +2

    Do jokes count too?

    • @Yourbeautygirl
      @Yourbeautygirl 9 місяців тому +5

      Mine joked with me all the time i started to feel like i worth nothing😢

    • @i.v.7055
      @i.v.7055 7 місяців тому +2

      Jokes? or making fun of the other person? Depends who is laughing and how it makes you feel ...

  • @leatalewis
    @leatalewis Рік тому

    So true

  • @roshnisingh7317
    @roshnisingh7317 Рік тому

    😞😞😞

  • @IngerLokke
    @IngerLokke 7 місяців тому +1

    I dont do anything wrong eather😮

    • @shaniecegullison
      @shaniecegullison 5 місяців тому +1

      Me either 😢😢😢

    • @IngerLokke
      @IngerLokke 4 місяці тому +1

      They lie and fool you talk behind youre back to all. You loose EVERY THING IN LIFE

    • @IngerLokke
      @IngerLokke 4 місяці тому +1

      Everything

    • @IngerLokke
      @IngerLokke 4 місяці тому +1

      I tryed end my life before becouse of this but god want me to live

    • @shaniecegullison
      @shaniecegullison 4 місяці тому

      @@IngerLokke so sorry to hear that I know this horrible dark helpless lonely feeling. There big bullies.my boyfriend has been treating me like complete garbage lately after coming back and I feel like such a idiot.i have been considering moving into my tent but im terrified. I don't want to life like this anymore .I've done this with him wayyy too many times and I hate conflict. I'm exhausted!!!! He will never ever ever change.hes gotten so used to being disrespectful. I can't believe the man i see standing in front of me sometimes .it tears my heart out

  • @IngerLokke
    @IngerLokke 7 місяців тому

    😮

  • @Bettydavis0
    @Bettydavis0 10 місяців тому

    Iʻm his master