My great grandmother passed for a while. She used her light complexion to get herself established. However, she came out as Black as soon as she could. We weren't allowed to ask or mention grandma's light skin. She told us the story. But if we called her white, a cuss out came quick. She passed at 92 when I was 12. She was an amazing woman and I am grateful I was able to know her.
I mentioned to my Mom this year that I wanted to do a DNA test, as it might be interesting. An hour later, she says”I told you I had a baby before you right?”. I didn’t believe her and called my Dad to confirm. Turns out she got pregnant on a trip to Hawaii when she was 19. She had the baby and gave him up for adoption. Her parents never found out, and I learned at 46 that I have a half brother out there.
As a Black person i understand people who were white passing. The discrimination they had to deal with was awful. And if you could pass it was all about survival.
I don’t know a lot about my dad’s dad’s side since my dad’s mom refused to tell him who his real dad was. However, my cousin whose dad was my dad’s half brother did a dna test and was able to find out some secrets on my dad’s mom side. I don’t remember the year or how many greats back on her side but a great great (lots of greats) grandfather was black. Like during the time of slavery. She found records that he owned property but on the paperwork for the land it says he was “white” but his brother’s birth certificate says he was black. So, we have put together that he lied on the paperwork since at that time they weren’t allowed to own land if they were black. It makes me wonder what secrets are on my dad’s real dad’s side. His mom passed away in her 90s and even when she was dying all she would admit was the guy on his birth certificate is not his real dad. I want to save up for a 23and Me DNA test.
Makes you sad that they had to, but much respect to people who did what they could for a better life. Tiffany Haddish said she checked Caucasian on a form and her credit score went up. It might be a comedy bit, it was funny.
I think it’s a blessing she found those tapes. Learning about family mental illness is actually a relief instead of wondering wtf is wrong with you for years.
We just discovered my husband has another daughter that he fathered when he was 17 and that he knew nothing about. His daughter was able to track him down through Ancestry DNA and an Ancestry counselor through my family trees. She made contact with him recently and it is a positive thing in our family. She was adopted, had a great life and now has a family of her own and lives with 100 miles of us. We see it as a miracle!
Wow!!! That's a happy story. I wish women would tell the fathers, but I know they all have their own reasons. My friend didn't tell her ex she was pregnant because she had just left him because he had tried to kill her with his bare hands. A very abusive relationship and the guy is dangerous. I don't blame her.
Our daughter is big into family history. She did those tests. Found out my husband’s father IS NOT his biological father😮 This was just discovered about 3 months ago. His parents are long gone. Apparently his mother was fooling around with the neighbor😮 it’s CRAZY!!
@@TanyaRandosame reason we won’t do it. My grandfather, also a sailor, was a philandering narcissist. My mother is convinced she has siblings overseas.
2 yrs ago 23 and me introduced me to a little brother I didn't know I had (he's 13 yrs younger). I lost my parents and siblings to their poor choices when they were all quite young so it was incredible to find out I wasn't really alone, and I don't even care about the circumstances. We have each other now and that's all that matters.
At 18 I had my cultural identity stripped away from me twice in one conversation. I was always very proud of being Navajo as a kid, because that's what my grandpa was. Well, during his funeral, my aunt reveals that he's not Navajo at all, he's Mayan! I ask my mom why she lied to me for all these years and she said it didn't really matter, they were essentially interchangeable since they were both associated with turquoise. After I express how upset this made me she then adds that it doesn't matter because we aren't blood related anyways! Something I never knew until that moment! Yah, that took a while to come back from.
I get that, but it’s hard being indigenous I’m half Lakota Sioux Native and half Mayan but explaining to my hispanic side that I’m from here they think gringa and when I explain my dad is Mayan I just say Guatemalan but it’s so much more than that
I did an Ancesty DNA test and found my 70 year old formerly childless uncle a 37 year old daughter he never knew existed! They met and bonded like any father and daughter, and she got a bonus mom in his wife. They had tried to have children when they first met many years earlier but being up in years even at that time it was just not in the cards for them. Until they found their girl ❤ I will forever be grateful for being the one that ended her lifelong journey to find her biological dad and for helping connect my uncle & his wife with the daughter they always wanted. It really was a fairytale, until he passed at 75 years old from Covid while also battling cancer due to his military service in Vietnam where he had prolonged exposure to the chemical Agent Orange. That 5 years they had together healed something deep inside each of them, actually all three of them including his wife, and I’m glad they had that time together, even if relatively short. Edited to add: my aunt and my cousin have continued their close relationship after my uncle passed, they still speak everyday. They don’t get to see each other very often because my uncle and my Aunt moved to Florida in their retirement. But whenever she comes up to NY to visit, she stays with her stepdaughter ❤
My step grandpa also had been in vietnam and was exposed to Agent Orange. He had lung cancer and passed away earlier this year from an aneurysm. His cancer was getting better, but the aneurysm got him before he could fully beat cancer.
My friend did a DNA test and discovered a half sister that was born the same year as her younger brother. She told her dad about it and he got mad at her. She met her sister and has a relationship with her. Now her dad, mom and brothers are mad at her because she uncovered her dad’s adultery. The family won’t talk to her now, or the half sister. The 2 of them have gotten really close over the last couple of years. It’s a sad situation. The family should be upset with the dad and not her. The half sister took the test looking for family and it started a family feud. In the end she got a sister she loves.
About 4 years ago, I found out that through Ancestry I have a niece. My brother was in the army and his gf got pregnant but told him it was another guys kid. He always wanted a kid but it just didn't work out with other women. One day I got a message from this girl on Ancestry; her test matched me as a niece/cousin and she knew that my brother had dated her mom around that time. I gave her my brothers info, after first telling him and getting permission to do so. He died from cancer a year later, but was so happy to know his daughter before he died. This DNA testing is definately bringing family secrets out into the open!
I'm glad he got to know he had a daughter before he passed. Sad that he couldn't be there to raise her because of someone else's mistake but at least there is closure.
I got one. My grandparents told literally everyone they knew that their youngest child died at a few months old. But the real story is he was half black (grandma took the story of exactly how that happened to the grave, grandpa “assumed it was rape”) and when they figured out he wouldn’t pass as white they gave him up for adoption. Everything came out when my grandparents moved to a home (at which point my grandma was non-verbal) and my mom and her siblings went through their stuff. My grandparents died shortly after that, but the siblings found him and have welcomed him back into the family.
As much as I hate it that the grandparents did that, I am SO glad for all you that were able to reconnect. My paternal grandfather and grandmother hid his first marriage, where he had two children. We didn’t find out they existed until they both died. Grandfather had also claimed he was adopted, was abused horribly, and ran away when he was young to escape it, and he just assumed a new name (this was back in the early 1930s.) we had ZERO connection to any of our grandfathers family. My aunt was eventually able to reconnect with our grandfathers sister, her half-siblings, and the entire rest of the family that my grandfather hid and lied about. My aunt was able to make it out to my Great Aunts 99th birthday, and it was the first and only time they met, but they had regularly communicated for a few years. The half-siblings fully embraced my aunt. (My own father never tried, he couldn’t even be bothered to talk to us kids, let alone some strangers he never met before. But that was HIS loss.)
i found out who my real father was when i was 11. my older sister had overheard my aunts (my non biological fathers sisters) talking about it, so she came to tell me about it. i then confronted my mother(who had left my non biological father a few years prior) to ask who my real father was. turns out my biological father was my mom's uncle had r a p e d her when she was 18, and she had gotten pregnant from that. she showed me her uncles Facebook, and i have like 7 half siblings from him. I'm 21 now, and i never had the desire to reach out to any of that side of my family. even though my non bio dad was not my blood father he still was willing to raise me as his own, and put his name as my father on the birth certificate. most of my family is hella toxic, so i only keep in touch with my brother and non bio father these days. so yeah, being an incest child is probably my darkest secret.
Sweetie, you are a wonderful gift that came from a dark event. But that doesn’t define who you are in the slightest, I’m happy that you are still in contact with the father that matters. My mom had me when she was 20, my real father is a serial impregnator and was very abusive towards my mom until she became pregnant. She left him, and just before I had my first birthday she met my Dad. He fell in love with the idea of being my Dad, and I think that’s why my Mom stayed with him as long as she did(I love them, but they were toxic together). They never told me he wasn’t my real Dad. Eventually my younger sister was born(5yrs apart) and that was that. Skip to when I was 17, my parents get into another argument and Mom decides to take me and my sister to the store for gardening stuff so she can cool off… and I can’t remember how it go to that point, but I say something about Dad and she goes “He’s not even your real Father.” It broke my heart hearing that, because all those times they had split and had their arguments and only now she decided to tell me. It should’ve been a conversation when I was a young child, but instead it became a dirty little secret. So yeah, the trust issues are real with this one.
I never knew my father. My mother had a wild weekend and did not know him. I took a DNA test on ancestry and 23 and me. After investigating sooo many leads, I found him at age 36. ❤ Thankfully, he welcomed me with open arms.
Im just curious as this is always something ive wondered since ive had to find the appropriate words to explain our divorce to my young child. How did your mom explain the fact that she doesnt know who your father is to you as a young child? I really wonder how it can be explained without having to go into adulty detail about flings. Thank you hope its not too personal :)
Also the entire family kept the secret, I’m guessing it was probably bc it didn’t matter who she belonged to, she was loved unconditionally. I would be shocked, but I think that would’ve made it easier to deal with, knowing I was loved as if I was 100% family. It’s so wild to me that this secret was kept for 27 years!
My grandmother confessed to her “oldest” daughter that before having her at age 17, she’d already had 4 other children and that she had to give them all away. She had ran from home and ended up being the mistress of a rich man, was popping children while she was still a child and was left with no other choice but to give them away. She wanted her conscience clean before she died, and it didn’t affect me personally, but WOAH.
Wow! Your story has bought tears to my eyes and a heavy feel in my heart for your poor grandmother. I had to sit and let the reality of your words sink in. What your grandmother endured, as a child still herself, to survive must have been heartbreaking for her and to keep it inside for all those years too. She must have been a very strong lady.
LOL the last oneeeeee 😂 People who are normally so open and honest (like her 17 years older sister) get so FUNNY all of sudden when it's about family stuff. This is like when at 15 I found out I suddenly had a whole a$$ brother who was THIRTY SIX. AND! He had grown up around all my aunts, uncles, cousins and OUR DAD YET NOBODY THOUGHT TO MENTION HIS EXISTENCE TO ME UNTIL HE HAPPENED TO BE BACK IN TOWN WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER. He's awesome, I love him, but what a mind f*ck that surprise was, and of course everyone introduced him and acted as though it was common knowledge and he'd been there all along; made me feel like I was losing my mind, living in an alternate reality 😂
I've done three DNA tests, which might sound excessive but I was adopted as a newborn and was searching for biological family, and it got me in contact with first cousins on my paternal side. They actually helped me narrow down who my father is (complicated story) and got me in contact with my full-blooded sister! On my maternal side, no one past a second cousin has taken a test. My sister already knew potentially who our mother is, and these matches reinforce that assessment. Lots of deep family secrets on that side. So, for my own story, I'm very thankful that DNA tests exist.
I wish you all the luck in the world with your search! It sounds good so far & I hope you continue to find the answers you want & that it continues to go better than my own search did. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💜
A friend of mine who was adopted as a newborn not only found her bio parents, but three full siblings. Turns out they weren't ready for parenthood as young teens, but stayed together, married, had three other kids (all 10 years+ younger than my friend) and are still together. She reached out and they were very responsive - she drove a state away to meet them at a restaurant. She now has been completely welcomed into a second family. ❤
My husband had a child as a teenager. Her parents stole custody. As a teenager he couldn't afford a lawyer. As my children with him became mature enough to understand the situation, we let them know about their half brother. It's something my husband has been struggling with since he lost custody. 10 years later, my son takes a 23 and me and guess what his brother did? Yep. Fortunately we weren't hiding it, but it was interesting how the past doesn't stay in the past
😢 I'm sure your husband suffered a lot and I feel terrible for him, but I feel terrible for his child as well not having the blessing of your husband's guidance it's not fair what some people do to their own children out of spite for the partner it didn't work out😢
@honeybadger3570 completely agree. We tried so many times to connect and be a part of his life. It's difficult to be respectful and desperate at the same time.
Several cousins on my dad's side took DNA tests and similar events happened. A stranger states away saw he finally had not just one match, but several. So, long story short, I have a new Uncle Ricky because grandpa got busy while stationed overseas. Ancestry is just taking all those family secrets that were swept under the rug & exposing the dirt. Love it!
I found out at 11 that I was conceived through my mom cheating. It was devastating and explained why i was treated the way I was. The relationship with my mom has never been the same. That was 16 years ago and it still hurts to know I wasnt loved simple because I was the proof of her actions.
@@trains889 her not cheating isn't going to do anything for her experience? like, she's sad she was treated differently for something she couldn't control and had no part in, what is the point of this comment lmao
Found out my my grandmother was the biological mother of her “little brother” right before she died. She had him at 17 and her parents raised him as their own. This wouldn’t have been a big deal if my grandmother wasn’t freaking terrible to her “little brother” (actually her son) his WHOLE life. She absolutely hated him. And it was a shock for him to find this out. It’s one thing to think your sister hated you like some sort of sibling rivalry, but to find out that your biological mother hated you your whole life just because of your existence was devastating to him. It was confirmed later with an Ancestry DNA test.
Maybe she hated him because he was the result of rape. If so she may not have told, was forced to carry him, give birth then parents kept him to raise themselves. A constant reminder.Her parents also could have been really harsh with her and controlling. I'm not condoning what she did or how she acted. Something made her the way she was.
My daughter’s boyfriend’s mother always looked a little different than her siblings. Mom and Dad were both white, but she had dark hair, dark eyes, and her complexion was a bit darker. After her father passed away when she was grown, she did a DNA test to find out more about her family history. Come to find out, she was highly matched with a Mexican family. Confused, she looked into it more and uncovered a scandal. Her Mom had an affair with her neighbor at the time, who was a Mexican dude, and she was conceived. We have no idea if the father that raised her knew, or if her bio Dad knew (he had also passed away by this time). That rocked quite a few boats and her Mom’s secret was exposed. Thankfully, her bio Dad’s family accepted her with open arms and she’s met siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles she still keeps in contact with regularly.
This is literally my family’s story in 2015. My aunt was doing the family tree, visiting lost family members and compiling data. Turns out NONE of my grandfathers children were his except my mother. My grandmother had cheated on my grandpa resulting in pregnancy 4 times. That’s why he ended up leaving her. No the lie she told us. I need to do a TikTok
Back when leaving your husband was nearly impossible or would leave you homeless and birth control barely a thing, it makes sense all these bastards are born in secret. Seems like cheating and having kids with another man was a woman's way to cope back in the day, instead of dealing with an "at fault" divorce process. This doesn't make it right, but definitely makes it interesting.
This comment section is fricken WILD!! I appreciate everyone sharing their stories -- I absolutely love genealogy and history, so it has been so neat to read everyone's stories. I do not have any scandalous or crazy stories, sadly? Thankfully? 😂😅 My parents are who I expected, and everyone on their trees matches up! Who knows, maybe if my brother or sister finally do a test we'll see something. 😂😂
I was adopted as a baby. A few years ago, I took a 23andMe test. I was only interested in cultural and medical history. I thought I might match up with a few really distant cousins at best. Very first match was a half-sister on my bio dad's side. About six months later, I matched with a 1st cousin who was my bio mom's niece. I went from knowing nothing to knowing just about everything.
My friend also found out she was the daughter of the side chick, when she was 15, and her father had just passed away and she was not able to confront him about it. This strange lady started calling her and when she asked her mother about it she was told it was true. But what is really astonishing is that she is the youngest of 8 children and when kids get to fighting they say all kinds of mean things but not once did they ever come out and tell her that she was the side chicks baby. ASTONISHING.
thats amazing of the mother. I wonder what gets these women to not only stay with the man that cheated, but also raise his side baby as their own. Kiss it hug it love it their whole lives...knowing where it came from. How?
When I was about 9 or 10 years old, we were told my aunt had “adopted” a baby boy. She had 2 older boys (youngest was my age); her husband (my mother’s younger brother) had died from polio while my aunt was pregnant with my same age cousin. Anyway, we were all told that none of us should ever tell the baby that he was adopted or when his “father” (my uncle) had died. None of us ever did, even his older brothers. I didn’t find out he wasn’t adopted until I was in college. He didn’t find out until he was an adult, married and had a child. Obviously, children can keep secrets when told that the truth will hurt another child. 😏💕💕
My aunt found that she had a half brother. Turns out, the half brothers family were all kids from other fathers. None of the kids in that family were from who they though was their actual dad! The half brother came and visited us and looks exactly like family. He broke down in tears immediately knowing his family he grew up with is officially shattered, but said he has a new family to help. We took him in 😊 no one deserves to feel lonely in their 60s/70s.
I was just contacted by someone who is, we believe, my half sister. My bio dad and mom divorced when I was 2, I’m 60, new sister is 58. Her bio mom had her at a “home for unwed moms” and Catholic charities did her adoption. Turns out we grew up in the same city, just different high schools. Absolutely crazy. I’m now doing DNA study to confirm and investigate more. Also, new sister assisted in the care of my sister’s ex husband when he had cancer so I’m sure my 32 yo niece will remember her. Such a small crazy world
Grandma was born in the 1920s. The only thing more 'shameful' to a southern family at the time than admitting there was African American in the family was admitting you had Native American in the family. At least in her area of Arkansas. We did a 23 and Me test as a family and what we found out was there was no black Dutch in the family that she went to the grave claiming. Instead, we found out it was her covering up the fact that we had Native American in the family.
Black Dutch is a slang term for mixed race ancestry, commonly Native American ancestry. I'm curious what your Grandma meant by it if not alluding to having Native American ancestry?
because i was curious..it looks like it could have been either way .. There are strong indications that the original "Black Dutch" were swarthy-complexioned Germans. Anglo-Americans loosely applied the term to any dark-complexioned American of European descent. The term was adopted [by some people] as an attempt to disguise Indian or infrequently, tri-racial descent.. then there is this way of explaining the term,,,,interesting regardless The most common designation of “Black Dutch” refers to Dutch immigrants to New York who had swarthier complexions than most other Dutch. The darker complexions were usually due to intermarriage or out of wedlock births with Spanish soldiers during the Spanish occupation of the Netherlands.
My very southern family had multiple Native American wives/husband in the family in the 20s and prior… nothing was shameful about that. The grandchildren/nieces of some of those natives are in their 90’s now and adore my black husband. Then other side of my family worked with the black people in their area because they were ALL dirt poor and every year they partied with them and donated a family steer for Juneteenth. Also back in the 20s-30s and prior. Don’t blame it on being southern please. blame it on your family’s particular culture. Lots of southerners didn’t care and had no issues with other races. That’s your family’s deal.
@@faithwdengshe literally said “at least her area of Arkansas” if you’re not from that area don’t assume you know what’s it’s like over there. You can multiple different ideologies in different parts of city, county,region or state but you won’t know unless you’re from there so keep that in mind.
My grandmother lied over and over again to my mom about her true paternity for all of her life until she had DNA proof of the lie shoved under her nose. By the time my mother learned her real father, it was too late and he had already passed away, never knowing my mom existed. The silver lining to this, at least, was that she found her father's twin sister and their family, who were shocked and thrilled to discover my mom existed. It helps coat the bitter pill of knowing that if my grandmother had just been honest when my mom was seeking answers as an adult, my mom would have had a father, and we, her children, a grandfather. By all accounts, if he had known we existed, he would have loved us.
I wouldn't even know if I have that courtesy 32 years later and trust me I've been looking my mom would not be honest with me and she is deceased and has been for the last 24 years! I tried to get the truth out of her she just wouldn't tell me I asked her best friend at least I had six possibilities but I exhausted all of those! It truly sucks not knowing who your father is!
I don't know why families keep such secrets, their shame should not exist! I was close to an older relative who was my grandfathers cousin and lived on my Great-grandparent's farm his entire life. He was our family historian and I loved hearing him talk about the old days. I asked him about Clara, my grandfather's sister who never married, never left home, but lived to be 100+. He paused a bit, gave me a big smile and in his German/Texas accent said, "Ja, she never married... but she had a baby!" (pause for dramatic effect) and that baby is ME! I thought that was the story, but I looked up our family tree and found that his "mother" was identified as a different married sister who was younger. She raised him as her own child since Clara wasn't married. That's when I found the twist in the tale... Clara was 48 years old when she gave birth to him around the turn of the century (1900ish)!
My maternal grandmother, whom I've since disowned for a multitude of reasons, is a very selfish and narcissistic woman. Due to societal standards and pressures, I can understand her keeping certain secrets in the 70s and 80s when my mom was a child, but once my mother was grown with her own family and began searching for her father... My grandmother still lied. It's too nuanced to get into here but believe me when I say there is no moral angle that could justify my grandmother's decisions. My mom only discovered the truth because she found a half-sister on Ancestry, who knew for certain who her father was, and thus-- the truth revealed.
Growing up my brother and I were treated different by my dad's side of the family, they're Greek and were mad he married and American. When he passed they pretty much ignored out existence. Years later I did the 23 and Me thing. They prided themselves on being pure Greek. To my surprise I'm 70% Italian, with about 5% Greek. Saw an Aunt and told her, she started with denial of "It must be wrong" then accused my mom of cheating. She took the test (I know because I saw her on the site as a relative). Hope they get to live the rest of their lives knowing they were super rude when they weren't even the race they thought they were.
@@rachaelf5903 I think the word here is ethnicity. Nationality is where you were raised, regardless of skin color and family lines, etc. Race is very broad while ethnicity has the benefit of being more precise. So the race may be white, but the ethnicity would be Mediterranean and Greek.
@@rachaelf5903that stuff can mean a lot to people who place way too much importance on it. I have a French middle name bc my mom was so proud of us being French (think she found it exotic 🙄) took a DNA test and we are less than 2 percent French. Like so miniscule. She was so super pissed at me for that lol
My daughter was sick and had been hospitalized 3x with low immunoglobulin before we found out that her dad was adopted. It was a person saying the truth at a cookout with no alcohol involved. My daughter found her dad's half brother from 23 and me. Her dad has ghosted everyone, including my daughter and her daughters, his grandchildren.
I took an ancestry DNA test back in 2017 and ended up finding my a full blood relative. My sister and I learned we were both adopted and then found each other on Ancestry. We then learned we had two other half siblings and found our biological family through researching together. Now I just recently moved to the Midwest and live by my sister and biological family and am getting to know them!
@DawnKellyPhotography it is! I'm incredibly grateful to have found blood relatives! I love my parents who raised me but there is something special knowing your blood relatives after 32 years of not knowing who was out there!
Alright Charlotte, ready for this DNA test story? My father was 80 years old and had always been super proud of being Swedish. He dressed me and my son in traditional Swedish clothing. He had Swedish signs and colors all over the place. He once asked his mother why his hair was dark and he tanned more than his sisters, but she just said his father had a little bit of Native American in him. So… He is 80 years old and takes a DNA test. He is 0% Swedish and 0% Native American. Turns out he is 50% Italian just like his uncle in law! During the day that we found this out, I had been telling my 8 year-old son that he needed to be more thankful for the things he had instead of always asking for more. Then we get this phone call. After we hung up, I turned to my son, and said “see, you even need to be thankful you know who your father is”. My son raised his finger and his eyebrows and asked “or do I?” We were laughing so hard!!! Oh, I am adopted, and after all of this, my dad made me take a DNA test. Sometimes I just have to pick my battles. And it turns out that I actually was a bit Swedish and a bit of Native American lol😂
Can I be friends with your child. I like to harass my father with the fact he’s “not” my father on my birth certificate because he spelled his middle name wrong. We still haven’t figured out if he spelled it right on their marriage license
I was sure I was Irish, German and French. I found out I was part native American, Swedish, Norwegian and the parts I already knew about. I was floored...I didn't expect the native American to show up at all.
@@addyshorhnr3544Its actually pretty easy to make corrections on birth certificates, official ones literally have the form on the back sometimes 😂 you should get that fixed lol
@@thetree2358sounds about right. Thats likely due to the erasure. The white passing indigenous folk would usually just pretend to be something else. They were forced to really. If they didnt they were treated awfully.
During my Dad's first marriage, they had one biological daughter and then the other girl that was born ended up not being his-- because his wife was cheating. He divorced her but treated those children equally and raised the other child as his own. He never came to his ex-wife just for his daughter, but always took both to spend time with them and called them both his daughters. I just thought it was commendable. They were close in age and the real father of the second child was not in the picture. Both girls always called him Dad. He did tell her the truth later on when she was older, but that would have been too much on a young child and I think he was right to wait on that. I came along 18 years later in my Dad's second marriage and soon after, the second daughter had a child of her own, only 2 years younger than me. So I grew up with her, technically my niece, even though we looked the same age. It was also funny when people thought she was my Dad's daughter too, but he was like, nope, grandaughter! I never knew about my niece not actually being blood related to me until I was an adult also. She went everywhere with us, the beach, Disney World, etc. etc. Families can be so messy and complicated, but if love is there, that's all that matters, blood or not!
LOVE THIS!! Yes! You can choose your family regardless of dna/blood ties! My ex SIL (a raging narcissistic sociopath) truly “tricked my husbands brother into “marriage” by getting pregnant - we all knew it and he denied it but when she got pregnant then had an abortion but then 3 months later once again turned up pregnant we knew what was up (she’d also been literally stalking him for 4 years while he dated someone else, I saw all of this). Anyways…she not only faked an entire marriage/wedding (I was maid of honor, tried my damn best to be accepting and chill - paid for several items of the “wedding” and took off days of work to decorate venue and make decorations - anyways after the “wedding” we found out that they weren’t legally married as she’d fallen out w the never-ordained BFF dude who wedded them 🙄 and never had papers or anything! After the dude called the entire family to reveal the faux wedding, this chick made comments that my daughter from my first marriage (she was 3 when her dad left is and I remarried) wasn’t a “true” grandkid bc she didn’t share their blood! My husband has been her “dad” for forever and his folks her grandparents took us both in with open arms and full of love - oh you want to talk about ticking folks off! Lol! Yeah so you see why she’s now an ex SIL thank god!
I love the first woman's delight in straightening out her family tree. The second woman, I love her compassion and understanding. Third, your dad. Damn.
The 2nd story makes zero sense tho and I listened 3 times. "my birth mom's letter said I was a boy but my birth dad was a dirt bag." what? What does him being a dirt bag have to do with the girl here being born, her mom and Dr seeing an obvious penis and mom then writing a letter SAYING "my son..." - but yet the girl is female? No sense at all. I'm dying on the hill that she was born intersex and the Dr and mom decided taking out the testicles would be easier than giving the baby a hysterectomy and removing the cervix, vaginal canal and closing the vaginal opening. That's THE only thing that makes sense. The other option "I was literally born a boy but my birth dad was an abusive prick so I'm a girl" makes. No Sense. Poor girl better dig deeper cuz she's got some major truths being withheld from her.
My grandmother revealed to us that we are Native American when I was an adult. She told us what tribe and what clan. She had been taught to assimilate, and hid her heritage till she was in her 70s. By then she did not care what people thought anymore
My uncle, while in the Air Force, and married with a family, had a child with a Puerto Rican woman while stationed in Puerto Rico. My cousin took a DNA test and discovered that she had a sister. Both my uncle and aunt had passed away, and this would have never been discovered, without the DNA test. My cousin was happy to have a sister, since she had only brothers, and went to go visit her sister, who now lives in the USA. Her sister looks exactly like my uncle, but with darker hair and skin. My cousin had a great time visiting her new sister.
I did 23 and me a few years ago. I'm African American, so most things relating to family history are passed down through word of mouth, without any kind of official paper trail. My results came back with things that I expected (mostly west African, a decent percentage European, the usual), and a few surprises as well. It also showed that I have Native American ancestry too, which the family has always said but had never been able to confirm. Overall it was just nice to be able to see where I came from. I grew up with friends knowing exactly which three or four countries their families came from, and for me it was always several question marks with a bunch of educated guesses.
My grandparents had a kid out of wedlock at 16 and did a closed adoption. They didn't tell a soul until I was 10yrs old. My mom who was the only girl and youngest out of the 2 known siblings was about 40ish. Her older brother found us with a private investigator and popped back into our lives! It was a shock to find out I had a older uncle! He was like in his 50s at the time!
I took the DNA test and a few years later a woman reached out to me looking for my father. Turns out she was my older sister that I hadn't seen in almost 40 years. Best test I ever took.
My entire life, my mom told us we were native American and white. Did ancestry dna. Turns out we're all mixed up. Native American, Haitian, African American, and a little Caucasian. I joke that I'm basically gumbo.
My mom took a DNA test a couple years ago and found a niece in her 50s! Apparently one of my uncles had a one night stand with a girl on vacation. They never spoke again so he had no idea she got pregnant and put the baby up for adoption. Since we found her she's been a huge part of our family and she comes to all family gatherings! Really seems like the kind of thing that happens on TV and would never happen to you
Been a genealogist for a couple decades and you come across a LOT of these sorts of things. 1) was contacted by a woman who said her mother was possibly an illegitimate daughter of my great uncle. I didnt think so because he had no children...she sent the birth cert and it was 100% true. Asked an uncle if he'd ever heard that story and he reluctantly admitted he had! 2) Had a gr grandfather who was widowed at 43 (12 kids), thought it was sad as I thought he remained single till death at 73...nope found he married 2x more to a 18 yo when he was 58 and a 20 yo when 70...turned out my grandmother knew about that one too. 3) had a great uncle who disappeared in the 1930s and his mother was shopping in a town far away and found him working the counter. Had chged his name and never told anyone why. Later questioned in an unsolved LA murder (very famous), 4) Currently have two DNA matches with people im reasonably sure were illegitimate descendants of two great uncles (one the guy who chged his name). 5) a 2nd great grandfather who was indicted for murder in the 1860s with several of his bro in-laws. 6) a 3rd great grandfather who was polygamist with 7 wives and 43 children. Just the tip of the iceberg...
When I was trying to get pregnant back in the late 90s and early 2000s, all of the doctors that I talked to refused to use a friend of ours who was willing to contribute sperm instead of anonymous sperm donation. They literally told people to lie about how they got pregnant and to lie even to the children. I refused to do that and then we DIY our donor insemination because I felt very strongly that that was a birthright for a child to know their biological family. My daughter always has known that she has her adoptive father who was my husband and her biological father who is now very good friend and long-term part of our family. My daughter is 19 and I am so glad that we did not lie because the DNA tests are proving me right.
Just some curiosity, did the biological father contribute anything towards your daughter's upbringing? Like diapers or school fees or quality time to nurture their relationship? Or was he more Dad by blood and title?
It's turning out that anonymous sperm donation is fraught with problems, with deception rife about how often particular donors were used, etc. With the result being the emergence of massive "sibling pods."
Not to mention it’s important not to lie about that, because you need to know your genetic history. It can help people make medical decisions in the future, especially family planning.
When I was a kid, an adoption agency or something phoned us one day. My mom said they had the wrong number, but she seemed scared / worried about the call. Like 10 years later we all found out that my Aunt had a baby as a teen and my grandmother made her give the baby up, for some reason they told the adoption agency the baby was my mom's. Anyway, I have another cousin now, and my aunt is thrilled she's back in the family.
This is why I love my immediate family. We're as effed as any other family, but we don't have "family secrets", we just have stories, and everyone knows them. No one's surprised by anything lol
My parents did AncestryDNA, zero surprises on my dad’s side, but on mom’s side we discovered that some of our Irish ancestry was originally from Scotland. Scottish people who emmigrated to Ireland, and generations later their descendants emmigrated to the USA.
My gran used to be very Conservative about relationships, and my parents were kinda ahead of their time socially, they went on holiday alone together and moved in together before they were married etc. My gran was very angry, refused to visit their home and told them that she hoped they didn't have any "little bastards". Cut to a decade ago, my gran looked into her family tree and found out that not only were her parents not married, making HER a bastard! But that her mother was still married to another man when she ran off with her father! My mum laughed so hard when she found out! 😂
My father served in the US Navy in the 1950s; he was a communications specialist on a submarine who spoke Japanese and Russian. He had told me and my siblings about this - how he was stationed near Japan, translated intercepted transmissions from the Japanese and Russians (Soviets) - which we all thought was so cool, cuz it sounded all super secret spy stuff. He had also told us about being a sailor in many different ports and girls everywhere. But what he didn't tell us was what he actually ended up telling MY sons: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I left a baby or two back in Japan" When my kids told me, I was like, "WHAT???!!!!!!" I'm not upset, I just was surprised because why would he tell 2 grandsons and not his own kids?? But that was my Dad - he could drop bombshells like others Mic drop. One day, when I was about 16 or 17 and my two younger brothers were all heading to a mall, Dad points at a park and says, "That's where my first wife and I had picnics." What??!!! You were married before?? He looked at our surprised faces and said, "Didn't your mom tell you we were both married before?" I said that mom told us she was but she had never said anything about him being married. He just goes, "Yeah, I was." And that was the end of that conversation. btw, I would LOVE to know if I have any half siblings from Japan! I've done DNA testing but unless the other person does the same test, I'll never know, what a shame
Man recently ive been staying with a man who's 85 and he does that sh*t!! Just drops bombs outta nowhere. Speaks matter of factly & acts like nothing afterwards lol Im the one whos had to adjust lol
You can track by familia (sp?) DNA but you have to look for like cousins, etc. Do you have any Japanese family showing up in your extended family? That would be where I would start first.
My grandfathers uncle was actually his brother. So Mary gave birth to John when she was like 13-14, and only the parents and Mary knew. John was told later in his late teens. It only came out when Marys children and grandchildren were confused why she was leaving John so much in her will. She ended up breaking down and telling everyone. What's really slack though is that John wanted his ashes to go in a slot in Marys grave but my mums cousins took ownership and wouldn't let him. His ashes are in the same cemetary but not near his mum. He was also just an amazing person and doted on my mum and her siblings. Got her her first job, was a really chill guy. The cousins did him dirty.
I was adopted and did a DNA test. Found a brother and two sisters on my dads side. Found a brother and three sisters on my moms side. Both parents have passed on. Thankful all but two have accepted me into the families. I didn't ruin any lives but actually answered past questions for them.
I have more siblings than anyone you know. This is a big story that is still mostly a secret in my direct family. In my 30s had an ovarian cancer scare. Was reminded my paternal grandmother died of ovarian cancer. Get my right ovary removed and do genetic testing. Things look good. In my early 40s did a 23 and me test just to see my ethnicity origin. In the relatives section 2 half siblings appear. I am an only child. Knowing my dad had affairs I assumed that was it. A few weeks later a half sister appears. She contacts me to find out my background. She found out she is from a sperm donor. And also shares that there are 6 more half siblings on the ancestry site. Finally confirm with mother yes I am the product of a sperm donor too. Would have been nice to know during the cancer scare. But it gets even crazier. The original donor was found. He had been donating for 18 years, twice a week. This was in the 60s and 70s so less regulations. My current count of known half siblings is 26. There are many more out there that are already gone or will never do testing. But doing the math, even with low estimates, were talking in the 100s.
This was one thing that I wondered about when all the DNA testing became popular. It is so possible for the number of siblings to run into the hundreds because of artificial insemination. Good luck to you!
I read abt a similar case (or is it the same case?) - a guy in Netherland fathered 500+ kids I'm thinking, people who take donor's sperm probably really want a kid. So it's not like unplanned pregnancy and then neglect. I hope you all had good parents, bio or not However the idea of possible mating with a half-sibling is pretty scary! It's vital to know all
@@anabltcdonor conceived people are currently fighting very hard for regulating the fertility industry because Anonymous donating is vital healthcare information that gets lost and people have massive and I mean MASSIVE sibling pods. Sperm banks are regional too, so in the same town there are dozens of your half siblings walking around.
Wow they need to think about some diversity or they might end up with people getting married without knowing they are related... Inbreeding is dangerous for future generations.
This just gave me flashbacks to when I found out I had an older half brother and decided to contact him. I was about 13-14 at the time and my sister about 10-11. We’re from a strict Asian family and my sister was in her rebellious phase, so she argued a lot with my parents. One day, she came back after going shopping with our mom and is ranting about how horrible it was. At the end of her rant, she goes “and you know what? They’re not as good as they paint themselves to be, because dad has another child back in Minnesota.” I’m shocked as she explains how mom just dropped the bomb on her in the heat of one of their arguments. After processing this info for a few days, I’m now going shopping with mom and I ask her in the car. She has a tendency to confide in me about her life stressors, so she just laid out everything for me. My dad, back when he was 18-19, got his girlfriend at the time pregnant. They had the child, eventually broke up, and had shared custody for a few years up until my dad got married to my mom. She found out when she helped my dad drop off my brother with his mother after spending a weekend with my dad and grandparents. My mom’s family knew and that’s one of the reasons why they didn’t like my dad (very Christian conservative leaning aunts and uncles, none of my cousins knew). Back to me though, I decided to be a little creep and look up my brother’s information. He is almost a carbon copy of my dad when he was younger, so there was no doubt he was related! I messaged him without my family knowing for a while, just to get his point of view on everything and to get to know him. Christmas was coming up and I wanted to meet him in person, so I talked to my parents and my brother came to stay with us for a week during the holidays. It was great! I had always wanted an older sibling to vent to, like my sister did with me, and I had one I didn’t even know about. He is great and we all love and treat him like a regular sibling (even though he calls my parents by their first names, for which I understand). He’s actually getting married next year and I am stoked to celebrate him and my soon-to-be SIL!
You're brilliant for reuniting your family. I bet it's been wonderful for your brother to be so welcomed by all of you. Can I ask how his relationship is with your Dad? Take care.
@@elenawilliams32 just checked on this comment, but his relationship with our father is professional to say the least. When he spent the weak with our family, my brother and I had some one-on-one time to just talk about his life and point of view. He didn’t remember much about my dad, as he was too little when my dad and my brother’s mom cut ties all together. (There was actually a big argument one Christmas long ago that was the catalyst for that. Kind of ironic that the reunion happened to be on another Christmas!) Anyways, my brother said that since he had no “dad” in his life growing up, it wasn’t going to automatically make him feel like my dad is his father figure. I understand this and I don’t blame him or anyone else in this matter. Thankfully, my brother had other people in his life, like his mom and his grandparents who cared for and raised him. He still occasionally interacts with my parents, but more so with us siblings.
there was a mystery in my family that got resolved. Basically, during ww2 one of my great-great-uncles went missing. He just dissappeared, nobody knew what happened to him and they didn't have time to look because my family lives like 10km from one of the fronts and they had bigger issues. Anyway, turns out he was spying for the fascists(Italy) and when my great-great-grandfather (uncles father) found out, he killed him and tossed him into a river. Great-great-grandfather never said anything but some letters to his brother were found and shipped to us and in them he basically explains everything since he wanted to put it out there before his death. He never told anyone because he didn't want my great-great-grandmother to find out that her son was a fascist or at the very least, a fascist sympathizer. (Fascists were pretty much doing a genocide on my people during that time, spying for them was betraying the whole nation, not just our family).
My scandalous family secret is my uncle Paul, who had a wife and three daughters, had a side chick. Side chick also had three daughters with him. And he named both firstborn daughters, Paula. So there’s literally two daughters in the family, both named Paula after her father. And the only way they found out about each other is when he died. Both women wanted to make his funeral arrangements.🤦🏾♀️
Omg my grandpa did this same thing with my grandma and his side chic! My mother and her sister are both named Barbara smh and we found out the same way when my grandpa died back in 1995 my aunt Barbara came to the funeral smh
It caused a huge fight in the family. His legal wife refused to have his mistress or her kids there. We got to meet them long after funeral was over. Both sides to this day hate each other. 🤦🏾♀️
My sister and I discovered that we were identical twins after telling everyone for 40 years that we were fraternal. We issued a formal apology on FB after we got the results. LOL. Our stepfather found out he has an older half-sister the family (and his father) hadn't known about and then a year or so later he found out about a daughter he didn't know about. So that was interesting too.
The big nasty secret that came out in my family was concerning my aunt and cousin. My aunt was always a very pig headed and unpleasant person, and she would never listen when told not to do something. Well, at the age of 14, she got pregnant, and she put the blame solely upon a neighbor boy. My grandma and his parents being old fashioned made them get married (it was the 70's) and my aunt had the baby boy and that was that. Well, not only did it turn out that my uncle was very very gay, but he was not the father of the boy. Rather it was my mom and aunt's first cousin, who had been living with my grandma at the time because of family issues. Her son was completely inbred. When it all came to head, half the family was up in arms, and my own branch of the tree were the only ones who stayed clear of it.
Oof, imagine minding your own business when out of nowhere the girl next door accuses your gay butt of impregnating her and suddenly your parents force you into marriage. Dude had it rough
Why the heck didn't that poor boy refuse to marry her if he knew he couldn't have been the child's father? Was it because he was desperate to keep his sexuality a secret? I suppose that would be a good enough reason, back in the day, but man, the poor guy. Is your cousin alive, and if so, how did she take the news about her mother and father? These things still happen today all around the world. It's gross to many of us, but not gross at all in certain countries. STORY TIME ~ I met a nice gentleman where I work. He asked me loads of questions about me & my husband, & I asked him about his wife and child. We're in England and he is from an African country, can't remember which, other than a northern one. I asked if he met his wife here in England or if he met & and married her in their home country. He said they came to England together. I asked him how they met He said, "My mother is her mother's sister." I about died, 😱 haha. I'd never met anyone before who actually said that to me. I also told him to maybe be careful with telling people that story as it isn't good in our society, as it's considered VERY taboo. To which he had to use Google for both, the word taboo & then to learn how Western culture thinks about his situation (first cousin incest). After reading about it on our hour long lunch break, he was very quiet for the rest of the day and the next few days. I think he was devastated to learn that. Poor guy. He showed me photos of his little boy and he's probably the most beautiful little guy I've ever seen. I don't know why I sorta expected to have 3 eyes or something. 😉
I have 2 cousins that are 1st cousins and they are married and have children. And then there's a cousin that was married to her uncle. Let's just say southern states 😂
@@Julia-uh4li My gay uncle got married very much to hide that he was gay, as his family was super catholic. And when my cousin found out that his parents were cousins themselves, it caused a big rift. Lots of family fights that my part of the family thankfully didn't have to personally witness, but the stories abound.
My best friend of over 26 yrs and I found out her maternal uncles were actually my 3rd cousins. Growing up we’d always tell people we were either best friends or we’d say “oh thats my cousin”. Little did we know my quest for finding family members from my maternal grandmother’s side would lead me to Ancestry and to finding out someone I grew up and called family, was indeed family💖
Got the DNA test as a Christmas present from my husband. He got one for himself as well. I found out that I was adopted by my bio aunt. My bio mom didn't want a girl and had 2 other boys. My husband found out that his mom had an affair and he's the bastard child out of the family. He was so heartbroken that he was not able to connect with his bio dad, as he passed away aa few years before finding out. The man that raised him was verbally and physically abusive. Just a ststorm. We found this out while I was months pregnant. No idea what the family health looks like.
how can a woman give away one of her kids because its not a sex she wanted? im sorry but that beotch doesn't deserve to them have any of her kids. thats disgusting.
I have been doing genealogy for quite a while, and it always amuses me how shocked people are about secret relatives and shotgun marriages; I have discovered many 4 and 5 month pregnancies in my family tree. People are no different now than they were in the past and the same things happened, probably more so, since birth control was much more difficult and less effective in those days. On the positive side, I have been able to help a number of unknown relatives discover their ancestors, including a second cousin who was dropped off as an infant in a church in the 1920's and never knew who her family was; I was able to tell her about her father. The big jigsaw puzzle is a lot of fun at times.
I did Ancestry in 2019. I have been totally fortunate to find my birth family. I have 2 sisters (always wanted a sister) and a brother and tons, I mean tons, of relatives on both sides. I have been fully welcomed into the family. No negativity. I speak with my birth mom every week.
We found out my great grandfather had a whole other family after his passing, turns out my greatgrandmother knew but stayed with him. My grandmother was devastated but happy to have more siblings! All thanks to 23 and me 😂😂
I remember the story of the fertility doctor who got exposed of fathering the children of her patients without consent through a DNA site. HE FREAKIN FATHERED MORE OR LESS 150 KIDS.
@@caitlynmarie557There's more than one but the most well known one is Donald Cline. He's the one that the popular Netflix documentary "Our Father" is about
I'm always so confused when they keep calling half siblings 'stepsiblings' I mean they're only step siblings if they came with the new marriage partner. If your parent bred them, they're half, not step. My mom always insisted we never take one of those tests because she had this incredibly hardcore belief that these companies were searching people's DNA looking for something. Also, once you send them your DNA samples, they own them and can do what they want with it. So, I just honored her wishes.
Yeah, I caught that too. Half = still related by DNA. Step: only related thru marriage. Also, you can tell the companies to delete your data at any point. They don't own anything any more than Facebook owns your photos.
My parents divorced when I was ten years old. Eleven years later, my father announced that he was moving across the country to live with his first wife, with whom he had two children before he met and married my mother. I was absolutely dumbfounded. I remember being at the mall with one of my friends and telling her, "any of the people in here could me my brother or sister and I wouldn't know it." What made it more bizarre was that everyone else in my family knew about all this. My half sister even spent part of her summer vacations at our house before I was born. My family literally told me that they just never thought to tell me about any of it. Karma is lovely, though. The fact my Dad was born out of wedlock was known by all of us but no one would tell us who his birth father was. It was a BIG family secret! My Dad was nine when maternal grandmother died. Dad's stepfather knew the identity of Dad's birth father but took that secret to the grave because the baby-daddy "still has family in the area." Several years later, I took an Ancestry DNA test and matched with a bunch of people from the rural area where my Dad was born & raised but who were not matches with my Dad's mother's family. It didn't take long to figure out who my Dad's birth father was. My favorite part is that my Dad's middle name was the same as the first name of his father and yet, in all that time, no one put it together.
The sister ending up being the Mom is way more common than people think. It happened to my stepfather. Found out many years later his "Aunt" was actually his sister
This happened in my family, my mom's cousin was raped at 17 and wanted to put the baby up for adoption but her mom said no way that's our family she stays with us. So she raised the baby herself as her own. The whole family knew except for the baby who grew up think her mom and her aunt were her sisters. They told her the truth I think around 17? It was quite dramatic at first but everything has calmed down since then and I've grown up always knowing them as mother and daughter.
A few years back my husband was told by his sisters they found a brother they never knew they’d had thanks to a DNA test. He and his wife flew out to meet us and they’re amazing people. Now, they live down the street. In just a few short years our lives changed for the better and we have some amazing family we might never have known about otherwise.
Now I want to try a DNA test just to see if I can find some new family. My current family hates me, only my 2 sisters still talked to me, and my oldest sister died 4 days ago. My brother hasn't spoken to me in over 8 years, told our cousin that I'm "dead to him". I've never felt more alone and unloved.
@@LazyIRanch same with my family which has me wanting to take one now too. My husbands mom and sisters don’t talk to us either. Finding them was such a blessing for so many reasons. It’s hard to think we’d gone our lives not knowing each other. Good luck
I discovered an unknown first cousin on AncestryDNA. She shared the second highest dna with me and she didn’t know who her father was. We have been able to figure out which uncle she belonged to. He has passed away but she has met her siblings and i am meeting her this weekend for the first time. She has gained a whole new family that completely embraces her and I’m so glad i played a part in it.
I feel so proud hearing someone admit they are Romanian 🇹🇩 I have been dealing with so much racism and when I was young I used to avoid telling I'm Romanian. Maybe that's why I really loved your way of being. Thank you for sharing that with us ❤
oh wow, pardon my ignorance but I didn't realize Romanian's dealt with racism. When I was little (a long long time ago) I watched Nadia Comaneci compete in the Olympics on TV and it was so exciting (I even did a school project on her) so I've always loved Romania and Romanians (though I don't know any! LOL). Sorry you had to go though that! I suppose every country/society has their own racism issues. Hope you're not treated that way anymore.
Yes because people (wrongly) associate Romania with communism/poverty and they confuse Romanian people with the Romani people, even though they are unrelated and have limited historical connection.
@@CrazyPlantLady911 Unfortunately I still deal with this but I learned not to care so much anymore. I live in Europe I will not say the country I dont whant to start any comments, and some people are nice and accept us but most of them they like me until they find out my nationality, in some cases after they see my ID they immediately change their face stop smiling and get quiet around me . I had a case where someone squeezed her bag really tight thinking I will steal something from her . I kept a straight face and tried not to show how hurt I was . I went home and literally broke down I cried my eyes out . And the list can go on . But as i said i learned to ignore all of that .
@@sofiabalan9519I hope someday you will know real acceptance & zero fear of deep seated hidden racism 🫂 After a life of dealing with that kind of crap i would imagine it might only come from our creator...... but you never know🤍 Wishing you many many blessings
The sibling thing happened to my exs family. His mom was pregnant at 15 and the grandma adopted the baby so mom and daughter were sisters. It's apparently a thing from that time era
When my brother was about to marry he wanted to start with a clean slate so he sat his bride-to-be down and told her a shocking family secret. Our father's younger brother married the eldest in a family with a dozen or so kids and since they moved in next door to her parents, her younger siblings were often around. My brother, while visiting our uncle and his wife, over the years (we lived many hours apart) met and fell in love with the youngest sister, who was a fair bit younger than her next eldest sibling. Her mom was older when she was born and they used to call such kids "menopause babies" because it was somewhat common (before birth control was the norm) for women to have their last baby in peri-menopause. So, he sat down his bride-to-be and gently explained that she was in fact NOT a menopause baby, and that the woman she thought was her mother was actually her grandmother because the 2nd eldest sister was in fact her mother, who gave birth to her as a teen. It was also common for parents of teen girls who got pregnant without the possibility of marriage to give their child to their parents to raise. My now sister-in-law was shocked, especially because her "sister" (birth mother) had a bad rep and was kind of the family outcast. Now she understood that her own birth was the cause. BUT the worst part about it was that it had never been hidden from anyone but her, so EVERY person she'd ever met in the community (which was rural and isolated), all the family, neighbours, everyone at her schools, churches, the grocery store - even me and my siblings - EVERYONE but my SIL KNEW. The only person in the dark was her. Imagine knowing that everyone knew your own life story better than you.
On top of that, imagine wondering why everybody hates your older sister and you find out she's your mom from your husband-to-be/ your sister's future son in law. That's just got to be all around trippy.
@@isla.vuewall he wasn't engaged to his aunt, nor anyone he's related to by blood. But he is engaged to the daughter of his aunt's sister. With the aunt being the wife of his uncle (dad's brother).
@@isla.vuewallno your second cousins are blood relatives. Your parents' first cousins are your "first cousin- once removed" and their kids are your second cousins.
Things I discovered about my family via Ancestry: on my father's side, my great great grandmother was married at 15, and POSSIBLY died a bigamist (not known for sure since Pennsylvania's divorce records aren't online). Also, my father's parents got married a year earlier than they told my dad growing up, and probably for an unplanned pregnancy that either miscarried or was terminated, based on things my dad said; they met because Poppop was at Pearl Harbor when the Japanese attacked and Mommom was a Navy nurse. On my mother's side, the family that I was always taught never owned slaves because of a religious conviction....actually did, but for way better reasons than one might think: they ran a school, bought children and educated them, and freed them when they turned 18, sending them off with a trade. This was in the 1830s and is SUCH an abolitionist power move, but at the same time, contributed to the erasure of African American history and culture, so it's kind of an uncomfortable fact to think about. On my mother's father's side, we go back to founders of Salem, MA, so, um....probably sorry to the accused? Not entirely sure anyone in my direct lineage was involved in that mess, but still.
I do lots of genealogy and what I've learned is that when you learn the "embarrassing" secrets of your family, you are learning history that helps you correct future things.
Our dirty secret is that my grandma knew my dad was abusing my mother but she intentionally pressured my mom to stay with my dad because she felt that my mother deserved to be punished for getting pregnant with my eldest sister before getting married. She also pressured all four of my aunts and my uncle to shun not just my mom but myself and my siblings (even the ones born within wedlock) because she felt that we were abominations. Initially everyone just kind of did what she said but after Grandpa died everyone just kind of trickled out of her life and then my uncle apparently told her off for being a generally terrible person and he regretted treating my family like crap after they realized how bad my dad was treating us.
I found out when I was 23 that I had an older sister. I was going through a relationship thing and went to my dad's tattoo shop to vent. He sat down with me and I mentioned something about the boyfriend my mom had before dad whose letters she still had. He, trying to remember the guy, asked if that was the guy she "had a kid with". I was confused. When I was 15 mom mentioned that she had an abortion which is how she found out about her cervical cancer. We had a cry and I got over it... so I thought dad meant that... we went back and forth between our individual understandings of the situation until he registered that I had not known the truth. I went numb and he started sobbing like a giant baby. He called mom to apologize as i drove over to her house to confront her. Anyway, I do have a sister, she is 4 years older than me and lived her life just a few miles away from us. Two years later she discovered she was adopted and called my house looking for our mom (phone book era, I was listed before mom)... meeting was weird and we went back and forth between wanting to be friends or not but ultimately she and her kids became close to mom before she died and now they're the only family on mom's side I still talk to. Dad still feels really bad for tattling on mom.
One scandal in my family: my grandfather died when I was 8 or 9. We go out to another state for his funeral and while we're there some shit goes down. So, this woman walks in and people sort of quickly decend on her trying to get her to leave (she doesn't) and it turns out she is my grandfather's old mistress. Certainly a scandal in its own right BUT turns out his old mistress is his step-sister whom he was raised with for years and years. So, like I said, she doesn't leave and my grandmother just shoots daggers out of her eyes at her the whole funeral. Meanwhile the mistress is just in her little spot looking satisfied as hell 💅🏻.
Ancestry DNA is how we found out my mom had a half-sister less than a year younger than her. My grandfather was a truck driver who traveled a lot and wasn't the best guy, so I personally wasn't surprised, but it definitely upset a few people in the family. We all agreed it was best we found out after my grandmother had passed
✨☕️✨Charlotte, I am here for the drama! Here’s mine: get a fresh cup of coffee, because it’s a long one. Family secrets: My mom was adopted by an older couple in the 1920s. (I’m in my 60s.) Her adopted dad passes away soon after. My mom is left in the care an adopted mother, who never wanted a child. Tumultuous home life. (Though my mom did have a beloved aunt.) Flash forward, to the 1930s-40s, Brooklyn NY, WW2. My mom, who at just 17, meets a sailor and marries him. My oldest brother is born soon after. Mind you, my mom, even on her best days, never really liked kids-though she loved her own as best she could. She quickly realizes that being married with a kiddo and a husband who traveled wasn’t what she wants. She leaves my oldest brother with her elderly adopted mother, and runs off to join the Women’s Army Corps. She lies about her name (she used the name on her birth certificate), and her marital status. She gets found out (this whole part was never clear) and is sent home to care for her mother and son. Mind you, her first husband always seemed to exist in the wings. She never missed the opportunity to villainize him. He comes home on leave, (did he even know she’d run off? 🤷🏼♀️) and Mom gets pregnant with my sister. The marriage falls apart. Divorce wasn’t easy back then, and mostly unheard of in the Catholic Church. After numerous verbal altercations, and being slapped across the face by the parish priest, Mom is excommunicated and finds herself free woman, albeit with kiddos. Enter my dad, a wonderful man who was never a stepfather, always a dad. All four of us loved him, and he loved all of us. He gave us a happy life, family vacations and long camping trips. I didn’t know my sister and brother had a different dad until I was much older. Life rolls on and my mother and father have both since passed away. My sister retires and gets into ancestry a bit, as she is beginning to wonder about her birth father and his family. More drama, but not for today. So, my sister gets a DNA test, because, why not? And she discovers she’s pretty much all Irish, through and through. My mom’s first hubs had German ancestry. Hmmmm. My dad was from Ireland. And then my sister is contacted by a close, living DNA match, a lady not much older than her. This lady had been adopted. Turns out I have two sisters to love. Somewhere mixed in between my oldest brother’s birth, my mother’s wild dash from responsibility, her short-lived Army stint, and then the birth of my sister, my mom had a baby girl. She named this baby girl after her beloved aunt, and then put her up for adoption. From what we can fathom, nobody but my mother knew. Not Mom’s first husband, and not my dad. They both would have welcomed another baby with open hearts. Her first husband wasn’t the monster my mom made him out to be and didn’t want to be an absent father. (That’s a whole nuther drama.) This was all on my mom. She was a troubled and conflicted soul. Later in my parents marriage, they had me, their youngest. My mom gave me the same name she’d given that baby girl, who, for reasons we’ll never know was given up for adoption. Yay! I have another sister to love. Thankfully she goes by a nickname, because we look very much alike, though I’m a bit younger. So, the name thing would just be weird. I’ve yet to talk to her; I’m a little scared. Now if y’all got through all of this, I owe you a cup of coffee. Screw coffee, this calls for a bottle of wine!
🤣🤣 I absolutely love your attitude towards this!! Ive already decided after reading a few of these posts that im gonna stop "feeling" certain ways about my family & what ive learned in the past year since my mothers passing. And I agree ..... its Irish Whiskey, ill join you 🥃
I was conceived via sperm donor and a few years ago I took a 23andme test. I found a half sister and later we found our bio father and his family. We have since found 10 more half siblings and counting! Everyone is lovely and we have so many random things in common. I haven’t met everyone yet but we are all in touch via group chat. It has been one of the best experiences of my life! 💗
Such a long story, but to try to be brief, my aunt had a child at age 13 and was told the child was stillborn. FF 50 years and through DNA testing, the child found my daughter, then me. My aunt refused to believe the testing and also refused to meet her child. Also worth mentioning, she never had any other children due to medical complications from this birth. It was a huge shock in my family because everyone involved in the secret has passed.
When my dad found out who his birth family was, we found out we are descendants of a guy who was on the Mayflower and is remembered for the weirdest reason. John Howland fell off the ship during a storm and was rescued because someone threw a bucket on a string to him and he caught it and was pulled aboard. Funniest part is that I knew who he was long before my dad found his birth family because we had to Peanuts holiday box set when I was a kid which had The Peanuts’ Mayflower Voyage which of course showed him. Not the only time an ancestor of mine has been portrayed as a cartoon either.
As a polynesian I love that first story. My great grandfather travelled to Samoa to work on the sugar and cocoa plantations. According to relatives, at the end of his contract in Samoa, the company he worked for didnt renew it because he had a relationship with my great-grandmother, a Samoan, which was forbidden. We have absolutely NO paper trail of him but I so wish we did. I hope she is able to meet Faalogo and his family one day.
Dad's side is Italian & Czech, mom's side is Italian & German. A few of us did our Ancestry dna. Turns out we have SIGNIFICANT Irish dna in us from my mom's side. Before Ancestry put it behind a pay wall we found out its from her mother's side. Mom also did the 23&me which says "either a parent, grandparent, or great grandparent is 100% Irish" Before I stopped speaking to my aunt we found out my great grandmother came to the states & just DISAPPEARED for 20 years! She popped up married to my great grandfather. According to my family my great grandma was an extremely vain woman so the thinking is that she slept with the milkman/mailman whoever which resulted in my grandmother. But that's NOTHING on my mom's dad's side lol. Great grandpa was a drunk & womanizer. He was married in Sicily (unsure of they had kids) divorced his first wife. Hopped on the boat to the states. Met & married his second wife. Had 7 kids with her. Ran off with the nanny (my great grandmother) we found no evidence of them being married. They had 8 kids. My aunt had met with some of my grandfather's half siblings, according to them their mother (great grandpa's second wife) had told the kids that their dad died BEING HIT BY A TRAIN! Yeaaaa, mom's side of the family is SUPER fucked. Dad's side is more chill lol.
YESS!!! Found out I have a long lost half sister. She's a few years older than me and super cool ETA: She took an ancestry test and my paternal aunt (who loves genealogy and had a dna test ages ago) popped up in my sister's results as a CLOSE familial match. My sister gets my aunt's contact info (I forget if it was through the dna company or fb), and messages her, introduces herself and explains the DNA results. My aunt, who is the most loving, welcoming person in the world, immediately confirms and tells her about the entire family and gets her in touch with our dad. Apparently there were always rumors that my dad had had gotten a woman pregnant while she was separated from her husband, but the woman seemed to ghost my dad after deciding to get back with her husband.... This was the rumor, idk if it's accurate, but I do know that even though my dad is dorky as hell he somehow has THREE kids who are all half siblings with different moms. So yeah, as soon as my sister reached out to my aunt, my aunt knew right away who she was and that the rumor that our dad was indeed her father had in fact been true. Incidentally, I also have a half sister on my mom's side (my mom had her young, and her parents hid her away a "pregnancy home" where my sister was taken from her as soon as she was born... Pretty horrible but common practice). The crazy part is all four of us half siblings were raised separately, by different people in different parts of the country, yet we all have an affinity for animals and science, and we're all sassy as hell. 😂
When I was a teenager, during one of the family Thanksgiving family reunions, I found out that my Aunt had given up a child for adoption. Fast forward 35ish years. My cousin and another man did the ancestry DNA test. When they matched, the other man got a hold of my cousin. Turns out the other man was our long lost cousin! Unfortunately, my Aunt had passed away a few years before we found her son. My new found cousin lives about an hour away from his sister! We have gotten together and the family is whole.
I am traumatized by a story like those in my own family and I hate all the family secrets related to side chicks/guys so much! When I was 15 I got really into DnD, joined the local club, met a guy a year older, we had an instant connection, like we were perfect teammates, we had the rapport needed for a good gaming session, everything was great. I told my mom, he told his - and they both instantly tried to forbid going to the club! Like wtf? Turned out the guy and I had the same father, who was married to neither of our mothers, who hated each other, because of course they knew, but they never even thought of telling their children about half-siblings. And the best part of story is that both of them were afraid we'd hook up and stuff, hence the ban of a club. Both the guy and I are gay, so not a chance 🤣
This story feels like the end has poetic justice. I don't get people's minds, if they don't want you two banging it seems telling the truth would solve that by itself. Both of you ending up with same sex attraction though, that's like a chef's kiss to your parents for being liars. God doesn't like ugly, he's gonna get you. 😆
this is the biggest and scariest problem with ppl running around cheating and also using sperm donors. u never know if/when u might hook up with a half sibling and its happened more often than u think esp donors who gave a lot of sperm over a large number of years. i think sperm donors should be limited on how many times they can give and also how many times their sperm can be used. there are some that have found out they could possibly have around 100 half siblings because a man donated his sperm back in 60s and 70s for 18 yrs twice a week. they have found 26 so far. thats way too much. then there's the fertility doctor who was substituting his sperm for the donors without telling the couples and i think so far they have found 96 kids. he was sued but only got a slap on the wrist a small fine no jail time etc because a) he was now elderly in his 70s and b) there weren't specific laws against it at the time but many woman felt violated when they found out and husbands had kids they raised that they found out weren't theirs. but he passed on a bad genetic trait which affected nearly every one of his kids. his wife had no idea he had done this but stood by him not believing it despite many many dna tests proving it. he had 4 bio kids with that wife who were super pissed.
I'm adopted and had limited information about my birth parents and Grandparents. So I did an Ancestry DNA test to get to know me better. I learned from my DNA that my ancestors have been all around the world spreading their err love wherever they go 😅
My best friend is originally from Argentina. She did one of those DNA tests, and a few months later she was contacted by a man who was a close genetic match. Basically, related through her great-grandfather. He was adopted, and based on his age, they think he might be one of the “disappeared”
I am LOVING this flavor of tea, please do more, Charlotte! It's so interesting! My dad took a DNA test with Ancestry some years ago. He has a Polish last name, his dad's family immigrated to the USA from Poland, we have this whole family tree from his Polish uncle. Test came back, 0% Polish, but very Italian. 🤔 He has an olive complexion, so this kinda made sense. We don't have all the details, since both his parents died, but the theory is that while Grandpa was off in the war, Grandma had an affair, and passed Dad off as legitimate when Grandpa came back and was just "born early". I did the same DNA test that year, and yup, 0% Polish.
I took a 23 and Me and my sisters came back as "half siblings" which wasn't a *complete* shock as there had always been family speculation on if it was possible their father wasn't my father. Even while having suspicions though, it felt weird, you know? Suspicions and facts are very different. And my mom passed when I was 13 months old and took the information to the grave with her. Luckily, my friend gifted me with an Ancestry test in the hopes it would yield more results and get me more answers. It didn't for a few months but suddenly, one late night in April, I got a message from a man asking who I was and why we were a 50% match. I told him my mother's name and the rest is history. We're in constant contact and are trying to get to know one another. Luckily, he was thrilled and his wife has been nothing but inviting and warm.
I did the 23 and Me test for medical history as I was adopted as an infant. I did not find any close relatives but did find out lots of medical information and heritage, which was wonderful as I get older.
My dad recorded and kept all of our phone calls for about a year and I was fortunate enough to get them when he passed. I haven't had the nerve to sit and listen to all of them but I have listened to bits and pieces and learned a few things that never made sense as a child. What's cool though is I can record just a few phrases or something to pass on to my sister when she's missing him. She was always a daddy's girl and has struggled with his death quite a bit so there's definitely the silver lining to finding those tapes
That story about the sisters hit too close to home! When I got pregnant for the first time at 30 years old all attention in the family was on me because I was pregnant with the first set of boy/girl twins in our entire family history. So my sister in her infinite wisdom gets her abusive alcoholic boyfriend to knock her up and 8 weeks later we get the news she's pregnant too! (Surprised pikachu face. Not really. She's always been like that.) She acted like she was already pregnant and didn't know. But!!! The timing of my due date and her due date was literally two months apart. Gee, I wonder why.
My mother did Ancestry DNA test after I did one. I know on her side is my mom and my uncle, come to find out they both have a half sister no one knew about. When talking to my grandparents we discovered my grandfather didn't even know she existed. When he was in high school he was on the swim team, and there was this girl who was sleeping with practically every member of the swim team. He said that one day she just stopped going to school and moved away; he never heard from her again. Turns out she had gotten pregnant and her family and her moved since it was a small town. She had given the child up for adoption, and my now newly found aunt was trying to learn about her birth parents. Needless to say my moms side of the family kind of got stirred up. (this only happened like 3 years ago) I was talking to my grandmother about this and she said that if she had know that if my grandfather had a kid she wouldn't have married him; to say the least that was a huge and painful blow for me. now I really don't talk to that side because all of them are pretty toxic.
The white passing was done in my mom's family. Her parents escaped when they were teens from a reservation supposedly & moved to Indiana. My mom told me to keep it a secret that she was actually a Blackfoot Native American until she died because her parents had put the fear in her that if it was ever found out she'd be taken back to the reservation. When I asked her why they did that she said being a dirt poor white person was always going to be a better life than being an Indian. I've never forgotten that.
how sad she lived her life in fear. you need to verify it if you can. what a rich and proud heritage of family to have. I bet you , you would be welcomed home...let alone the fact with the percentage in you , you may be entitled to a lot of benefits as would your children..
Charlotte, my grandparents all emigrated from Austro-Hungary in the early 1900s. Their papers show their place of departure as "Transylvania," which also gave my sister, my cousins, and me a big laugh. (I used to immitate Boris Karlov 🤒 and named my first cat Zoltan.) We joke that we, too, are related to ol' Vlad. 20 years ago, I worked for a doctor and was responsible for all the phlebotomy, among other duties. Doc ordered quite a lot of blood tests for his elderly patients, which required several different tubes of blood to be drawn. When patients (that i knew well) would ask why all the tubes, I would tick off what they were for and end with "... and this one's for my lunch." I responded to their startled expressions with, "I've told you my people are from Transylvania!" 😂
We found my Dad's birth mom by a DNA test. And we also found out the man that "adopted" my Dad with his wife, was actually my Dad's REAL dad. Yes. My grandmother didn't want children. My grandfather basically had a "wife approved side piece" and got her pregnant then took my Dad with her permission. This was 1941, surrogates weren't a thing. Apparently my grandfather was ahead of his time. 😅 But it cleared up a lot of questions we had about certain pages of legal paperwork we found. My grandmother didn't remember that she kept a file.. We became really suspicious when my dad met his "cousin" that wasn't supposed to be genetically linked to him due to the fact my dad was adopted. The man could have been my Dad's twin. He even married someone that looked and acted just like my mom. That's when the secret paperwork really started making sense. Then confirmed by the DNA test. Another story- my oldest sister was dating a guy that had a vasectomy and "wouldn't commit to her." She screwed around on him, got pregnant, and the guy actually stepped up. Flash forward 35 years, my niece STILL doesn't know. All her cousins know and won't tell her. But she is a total b*tch and treats my mom like crap. So does my sister (her mom). My mom asked me not to tell her. But she gave me permission to tell her after she passes away. 😅😅And I will. Because her and her mom are b*tches who treated my dying dad like crap and continue to treat my mom like crap. Just thinking about telling her gives me warm fuzzies.
My great grandmother passed for a while. She used her light complexion to get herself established. However, she came out as Black as soon as she could. We weren't allowed to ask or mention grandma's light skin. She told us the story. But if we called her white, a cuss out came quick. She passed at 92 when I was 12. She was an amazing woman and I am grateful I was able to know her.
I mentioned to my Mom this year that I wanted to do a DNA test, as it might be interesting. An hour later, she says”I told you I had a baby before you right?”. I didn’t believe her and called my Dad to confirm. Turns out she got pregnant on a trip to Hawaii when she was 19. She had the baby and gave him up for adoption. Her parents never found out, and I learned at 46 that I have a half brother out there.
AT 46??? Now that is tea!
😮…… believe it or not, I’m actually more shocked at the way she told you this…”I told you I had a baby before you, right?”…😮
DAYUM👁👄👁
Yeah. She was never gonna tell you babe. 😅 I do hope if you meet him you have an amazing relationship though!!❤
Omg. Your grandparents never found out?! 😲
How did your mom pull it off?
As a Black person i understand people who were white passing. The discrimination they had to deal with was awful. And if you could pass it was all about survival.
Oh yes, absolutely understandable, but so sad at the same time, right?
Much ❤ to you from Austria 🇦🇹
And the racism was enshrined in law!! If she could pass for a white woman then good on her!
Many Jews did the same in Louisiana
I don’t know a lot about my dad’s dad’s side since my dad’s mom refused to tell him who his real dad was. However, my cousin whose dad was my dad’s half brother did a dna test and was able to find out some secrets on my dad’s mom side. I don’t remember the year or how many greats back on her side but a great great (lots of greats) grandfather was black. Like during the time of slavery. She found records that he owned property but on the paperwork for the land it says he was “white” but his brother’s birth certificate says he was black. So, we have put together that he lied on the paperwork since at that time they weren’t allowed to own land if they were black.
It makes me wonder what secrets are on my dad’s real dad’s side. His mom passed away in her 90s and even when she was dying all she would admit was the guy on his birth certificate is not his real dad. I want to save up for a 23and Me DNA test.
Makes you sad that they had to, but much respect to people who did what they could for a better life. Tiffany Haddish said she checked Caucasian on a form and her credit score went up. It might be a comedy bit, it was funny.
I think it’s a blessing she found those tapes. Learning about family mental illness is actually a relief instead of wondering wtf is wrong with you for years.
We just discovered my husband has another daughter that he fathered when he was 17 and that he knew nothing about. His daughter was able to track him down through Ancestry DNA and an Ancestry counselor through my family trees. She made contact with him recently and it is a positive thing in our family. She was adopted, had a great life and now has a family of her own and lives with 100 miles of us. We see it as a miracle!
Wow!!! That's a happy story.
I wish women would tell the fathers, but I know they all have their own reasons. My friend didn't tell her ex she was pregnant because she had just left him because he had tried to kill her with his bare hands. A very abusive relationship and the guy is dangerous. I don't blame her.
That's beautiful!
Sounds like my uncle's exact situation. Did your husband go into the military as well? LOL
That's so awesome! I love yalls attitude! ❤❤❤
@@DawnKellyMediayeah I wouldn't have told him either ! I would definitely have kept that secret and booked it!
Our daughter is big into family history. She did those tests. Found out my husband’s father IS NOT his biological father😮 This was just discovered about 3 months ago. His parents are long gone. Apparently his mother was fooling around with the neighbor😮 it’s CRAZY!!
This is the reason I won’t do this. I’m pretty sure there’s probably other siblings out there
@@betterwiththeirishso a good reason to do it is the reason you dont?
@@betterwiththeirishI’m convinced I have some relatives around the world from when my grandad was a sailor, so I’d be nervous about it!
wild!!!
@@TanyaRandosame reason we won’t do it. My grandfather, also a sailor, was a philandering narcissist. My mother is convinced she has siblings overseas.
2 yrs ago 23 and me introduced me to a little brother I didn't know I had (he's 13 yrs younger). I lost my parents and siblings to their poor choices when they were all quite young so it was incredible to find out I wasn't really alone, and I don't even care about the circumstances. We have each other now and that's all that matters.
Good for you and your brother ❤😊
God Blessed you so you wouldn’t be alone.
I have a similar story, but I am the 11 year younger little sister. :) Mind you I was 53 when I found out, so not so "Little" haha!
Yup going to make my kids do this
At 18 I had my cultural identity stripped away from me twice in one conversation. I was always very proud of being Navajo as a kid, because that's what my grandpa was. Well, during his funeral, my aunt reveals that he's not Navajo at all, he's Mayan! I ask my mom why she lied to me for all these years and she said it didn't really matter, they were essentially interchangeable since they were both associated with turquoise. After I express how upset this made me she then adds that it doesn't matter because we aren't blood related anyways! Something I never knew until that moment! Yah, that took a while to come back from.
What did she mean when she said u "weren't blood related anyways"?
It means grandpa is not blood... He is a step grandpa... Grandma was a ho or remarried or both
OOOUUUUUCCCHHHH!
I get that, but it’s hard being indigenous I’m half Lakota Sioux Native and half Mayan but explaining to my hispanic side that I’m from here they think gringa and when I explain my dad is Mayan I just say Guatemalan but it’s so much more than that
😭
I did an Ancesty DNA test and found my 70 year old formerly childless uncle a 37 year old daughter he never knew existed! They met and bonded like any father and daughter, and she got a bonus mom in his wife. They had tried to have children when they first met many years earlier but being up in years even at that time it was just not in the cards for them. Until they found their girl ❤ I will forever be grateful for being the one that ended her lifelong journey to find her biological dad and for helping connect my uncle & his wife with the daughter they always wanted. It really was a fairytale, until he passed at 75 years old from Covid while also battling cancer due to his military service in Vietnam where he had prolonged exposure to the chemical Agent Orange. That 5 years they had together healed something deep inside each of them, actually all three of them including his wife, and I’m glad they had that time together, even if relatively short.
Edited to add: my aunt and my cousin have continued their close relationship after my uncle passed, they still speak everyday. They don’t get to see each other very often because my uncle and my Aunt moved to Florida in their retirement. But whenever she comes up to NY to visit, she stays with her stepdaughter ❤
My step grandpa also had been in vietnam and was exposed to Agent Orange. He had lung cancer and passed away earlier this year from an aneurysm. His cancer was getting better, but the aneurysm got him before he could fully beat cancer.
❤❤❤
This is a beautiful story, thank you for sharing. :) Wonderful to read in the morning❤
There are warnings on hereditary tests(at least recently) about the unearthing of family secrets, and, to be forewarned.
My friend did a DNA test and discovered a half sister that was born the same year as her younger brother. She told her dad about it and he got mad at her. She met her sister and has a relationship with her. Now her dad, mom and brothers are mad at her because she uncovered her dad’s adultery. The family won’t talk to her now, or the half sister. The 2 of them have gotten really close over the last couple of years. It’s a sad situation. The family should be upset with the dad and not her. The half sister took the test looking for family and it started a family feud. In the end she got a sister she loves.
About 4 years ago, I found out that through Ancestry I have a niece. My brother was in the army and his gf got pregnant but told him it was another guys kid. He always wanted a kid but it just didn't work out with other women. One day I got a message from this girl on Ancestry; her test matched me as a niece/cousin and she knew that my brother had dated her mom around that time. I gave her my brothers info, after first telling him and getting permission to do so. He died from cancer a year later, but was so happy to know his daughter before he died. This DNA testing is definately bringing family secrets out into the open!
I'm glad he got to know he had a daughter before he passed. Sad that he couldn't be there to raise her because of someone else's mistake but at least there is closure.
I got one. My grandparents told literally everyone they knew that their youngest child died at a few months old. But the real story is he was half black (grandma took the story of exactly how that happened to the grave, grandpa “assumed it was rape”) and when they figured out he wouldn’t pass as white they gave him up for adoption. Everything came out when my grandparents moved to a home (at which point my grandma was non-verbal) and my mom and her siblings went through their stuff. My grandparents died shortly after that, but the siblings found him and have welcomed him back into the family.
poor guy :(
Damn.
The fact that your family found HIM & welcomed him is fk'n awesome!!!
That's awful, but I'm glad it has a happy ending
As much as I hate it that the grandparents did that, I am SO glad for all you that were able to reconnect.
My paternal grandfather and grandmother hid his first marriage, where he had two children. We didn’t find out they existed until they both died. Grandfather had also claimed he was adopted, was abused horribly, and ran away when he was young to escape it, and he just assumed a new name (this was back in the early 1930s.) we had ZERO connection to any of our grandfathers family. My aunt was eventually able to reconnect with our grandfathers sister, her half-siblings, and the entire rest of the family that my grandfather hid and lied about. My aunt was able to make it out to my Great Aunts 99th birthday, and it was the first and only time they met, but they had regularly communicated for a few years. The half-siblings fully embraced my aunt. (My own father never tried, he couldn’t even be bothered to talk to us kids, let alone some strangers he never met before. But that was HIS loss.)
i found out who my real father was when i was 11. my older sister had overheard my aunts (my non biological fathers sisters) talking about it, so she came to tell me about it. i then confronted my mother(who had left my non biological father a few years prior) to ask who my real father was. turns out my biological father was my mom's uncle had r a p e d her when she was 18, and she had gotten pregnant from that. she showed me her uncles Facebook, and i have like 7 half siblings from him. I'm 21 now, and i never had the desire to reach out to any of that side of my family. even though my non bio dad was not my blood father he still was willing to raise me as his own, and put his name as my father on the birth certificate. most of my family is hella toxic, so i only keep in touch with my brother and non bio father these days. so yeah, being an incest child is probably my darkest secret.
Honey please you are not a dark secret. You are a miracle who has avoided a bunch of toxic relatives. Keep on being awesome.
no es tú culpa, vive tú vida de la forma más feliz que puedas.
Sweetie, you are a wonderful gift that came from a dark event. But that doesn’t define who you are in the slightest, I’m happy that you are still in contact with the father that matters.
My mom had me when she was 20, my real father is a serial impregnator and was very abusive towards my mom until she became pregnant. She left him, and just before I had my first birthday she met my Dad. He fell in love with the idea of being my Dad, and I think that’s why my Mom stayed with him as long as she did(I love them, but they were toxic together). They never told me he wasn’t my real Dad. Eventually my younger sister was born(5yrs apart) and that was that. Skip to when I was 17, my parents get into another argument and Mom decides to take me and my sister to the store for gardening stuff so she can cool off… and I can’t remember how it go to that point, but I say something about Dad and she goes “He’s not even your real Father.” It broke my heart hearing that, because all those times they had split and had their arguments and only now she decided to tell me. It should’ve been a conversation when I was a young child, but instead it became a dirty little secret. So yeah, the trust issues are real with this one.
I never knew my father. My mother had a wild weekend and did not know him. I took a DNA test on ancestry and 23 and me. After investigating sooo many leads, I found him at age 36. ❤ Thankfully, he welcomed me with open arms.
Im just curious as this is always something ive wondered since ive had to find the appropriate words to explain our divorce to my young child. How did your mom explain the fact that she doesnt know who your father is to you as a young child? I really wonder how it can be explained without having to go into adulty detail about flings. Thank you hope its not too personal :)
Aw that’s the happy ending I hoped for!!!
Thank God that he accepted and loves you ❤️ 🥰
I'm happy for you. One day, I hope I can find out who my real father is.
Dude that's awesome!
The mom who took in the side chicks baby is amazing! The siblings for never saying it in an argument is even more amazing 😂😂😂
My thoughts exactly. But what about the side chick? Does she have more kids? These stories get my imagination going
Also the entire family kept the secret, I’m guessing it was probably bc it didn’t matter who she belonged to, she was loved unconditionally.
I would be shocked, but I think that would’ve made it easier to deal with, knowing I was loved as if I was 100% family.
It’s so wild to me that this secret was kept for 27 years!
@@carlamarlene2927I also have so many questions lol
Question do you see my post on this video I'm just wondering
My sister couldn’t even hold that kind of information in for five seconds 😂
My grandmother confessed to her “oldest” daughter that before having her at age 17, she’d already had 4 other children and that she had to give them all away. She had ran from home and ended up being the mistress of a rich man, was popping children while she was still a child and was left with no other choice but to give them away. She wanted her conscience clean before she died, and it didn’t affect me personally, but WOAH.
Wow! Your story has bought tears to my eyes and a heavy feel in my heart for your poor grandmother. I had to sit and let the reality of your words sink in. What your grandmother endured, as a child still herself, to survive must have been heartbreaking for her and to keep it inside for all those years too. She must have been a very strong lady.
LOL the last oneeeeee 😂 People who are normally so open and honest (like her 17 years older sister) get so FUNNY all of sudden when it's about family stuff. This is like when at 15 I found out I suddenly had a whole a$$ brother who was THIRTY SIX. AND! He had grown up around all my aunts, uncles, cousins and OUR DAD YET NOBODY THOUGHT TO MENTION HIS EXISTENCE TO ME UNTIL HE HAPPENED TO BE BACK IN TOWN WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER. He's awesome, I love him, but what a mind f*ck that surprise was, and of course everyone introduced him and acted as though it was common knowledge and he'd been there all along; made me feel like I was losing my mind, living in an alternate reality 😂
I've done three DNA tests, which might sound excessive but I was adopted as a newborn and was searching for biological family, and it got me in contact with first cousins on my paternal side.
They actually helped me narrow down who my father is (complicated story) and got me in contact with my full-blooded sister!
On my maternal side, no one past a second cousin has taken a test. My sister already knew potentially who our mother is, and these matches reinforce that assessment. Lots of deep family secrets on that side.
So, for my own story, I'm very thankful that DNA tests exist.
Wow. I hope you find the answers you are seeking. God bless you in your search.
I wish you all the luck in the world with your search! It sounds good so far & I hope you continue to find the answers you want & that it continues to go better than my own search did. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💜
❤
Wow you're so courage for that! I hope you find the answers you needed *hugs 🧡🧡
A friend of mine who was adopted as a newborn not only found her bio parents, but three full siblings. Turns out they weren't ready for parenthood as young teens, but stayed together, married, had three other kids (all 10 years+ younger than my friend) and are still together. She reached out and they were very responsive - she drove a state away to meet them at a restaurant. She now has been completely welcomed into a second family. ❤
My husband had a child as a teenager. Her parents stole custody. As a teenager he couldn't afford a lawyer. As my children with him became mature enough to understand the situation, we let them know about their half brother. It's something my husband has been struggling with since he lost custody. 10 years later, my son takes a 23 and me and guess what his brother did? Yep. Fortunately we weren't hiding it, but it was interesting how the past doesn't stay in the past
😢 I'm sure your husband suffered a lot and I feel terrible for him, but I feel terrible for his child as well not having the blessing of your husband's guidance it's not fair what some people do to their own children out of spite for the partner it didn't work out😢
What did his brother do? I’m confused sorry
Same thing is happening to my son , we know those kids will know the truth someday.
@honeybadger3570 completely agree. We tried so many times to connect and be a part of his life. It's difficult to be respectful and desperate at the same time.
@@notaseat5934 he reached out to him and chatted for the first time last week.
Several cousins on my dad's side took DNA tests and similar events happened. A stranger states away saw he finally had not just one match, but several. So, long story short, I have a new Uncle Ricky because grandpa got busy while stationed overseas. Ancestry is just taking all those family secrets that were swept under the rug & exposing the dirt. Love it!
I found out at 11 that I was conceived through my mom cheating. It was devastating and explained why i was treated the way I was. The relationship with my mom has never been the same. That was 16 years ago and it still hurts to know I wasnt loved simple because I was the proof of her actions.
So, don't do what she did.
@@trains889 ??
@@Peachyx0 Don't cheat. Temporary irresponsible fun that hurts more people than just your spouse.
@@trains889 her not cheating isn't going to do anything for her experience? like, she's sad she was treated differently for something she couldn't control and had no part in, what is the point of this comment lmao
@@bonk895 Learn from other people's mistakes and don't follow the same awful behavior.
Found out my my grandmother was the biological mother of her “little brother” right before she died. She had him at 17 and her parents raised him as their own. This wouldn’t have been a big deal if my grandmother wasn’t freaking terrible to her “little brother” (actually her son) his WHOLE life. She absolutely hated him. And it was a shock for him to find this out. It’s one thing to think your sister hated you like some sort of sibling rivalry, but to find out that your biological mother hated you your whole life just because of your existence was devastating to him. It was confirmed later with an Ancestry DNA test.
What a terrible mother/sister, at least his parents/grandparents loved him unlike their daughter
Maybe she hated him because he was the result of rape. If so she may not have told, was forced to carry him, give birth then parents kept him to raise themselves. A constant reminder.Her parents also could have been really harsh with her and controlling. I'm not condoning what she did or how she acted. Something made her the way she was.
@@PiscesMoon2You you raise very plausible points. Its was the 1950s.
@@PiscesMoon2YouI was thinking the exact same thing.
Wow
My daughter’s boyfriend’s mother always looked a little different than her siblings. Mom and Dad were both white, but she had dark hair, dark eyes, and her complexion was a bit darker. After her father passed away when she was grown, she did a DNA test to find out more about her family history. Come to find out, she was highly matched with a Mexican family. Confused, she looked into it more and uncovered a scandal. Her Mom had an affair with her neighbor at the time, who was a Mexican dude, and she was conceived. We have no idea if the father that raised her knew, or if her bio Dad knew (he had also passed away by this time). That rocked quite a few boats and her Mom’s secret was exposed. Thankfully, her bio Dad’s family accepted her with open arms and she’s met siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles she still keeps in contact with regularly.
This is literally my family’s story in 2015. My aunt was doing the family tree, visiting lost family members and compiling data. Turns out NONE of my grandfathers children were his except my mother. My grandmother had cheated on my grandpa resulting in pregnancy 4 times. That’s why he ended up leaving her. No the lie she told us. I need to do a TikTok
Wow grandma was busy! Not even a bunch of kids slowed her down 💀
Back when leaving your husband was nearly impossible or would leave you homeless and birth control barely a thing, it makes sense all these bastards are born in secret.
Seems like cheating and having kids with another man was a woman's way to cope back in the day, instead of dealing with an "at fault" divorce process.
This doesn't make it right, but definitely makes it interesting.
This comment section is fricken WILD!! I appreciate everyone sharing their stories -- I absolutely love genealogy and history, so it has been so neat to read everyone's stories. I do not have any scandalous or crazy stories, sadly? Thankfully? 😂😅 My parents are who I expected, and everyone on their trees matches up! Who knows, maybe if my brother or sister finally do a test we'll see something. 😂😂
I know how this feels because my sister did it and I was hoping to learn something we didn't already know, but nope, we are what we were told.
I was adopted as a baby. A few years ago, I took a 23andMe test. I was only interested in cultural and medical history. I thought I might match up with a few really distant cousins at best. Very first match was a half-sister on my bio dad's side. About six months later, I matched with a 1st cousin who was my bio mom's niece. I went from knowing nothing to knowing just about everything.
My friend also found out she was the daughter of the side chick, when she was 15, and her father had just passed away and she was not able to confront him about it. This strange lady started calling her and when she asked her mother about it she was told it was true. But what is really astonishing is that she is the youngest of 8 children and when kids get to fighting they say all kinds of mean things but not once did they ever come out and tell her that she was the side chicks baby. ASTONISHING.
thats amazing of the mother. I wonder what gets these women to not only stay with the man that cheated, but also raise his side baby as their own. Kiss it hug it love it their whole lives...knowing where it came from. How?
When I was about 9 or 10 years old, we were told my aunt had “adopted” a baby boy. She had 2 older boys (youngest was my age); her husband (my mother’s younger brother) had died from polio while my aunt was pregnant with my same age cousin.
Anyway, we were all told that none of us should ever tell the baby that he was adopted or when his “father” (my uncle) had died. None of us ever did, even his older brothers. I didn’t find out he wasn’t adopted until I was in college.
He didn’t find out until he was an adult, married and had a child.
Obviously, children can keep secrets when told that the truth will hurt another child. 😏💕💕
@@erchanel A heart of gold. 💛
Why would you tell your friends business? You're no friend!
@@LostlnTheWoods Get a life. Like you know my friend.
My aunt found that she had a half brother. Turns out, the half brothers family were all kids from other fathers. None of the kids in that family were from who they though was their actual dad! The half brother came and visited us and looks exactly like family. He broke down in tears immediately knowing his family he grew up with is officially shattered, but said he has a new family to help. We took him in 😊 no one deserves to feel lonely in their 60s/70s.
I was just contacted by someone who is, we believe, my half sister. My bio dad and mom divorced when I was 2, I’m 60, new sister is 58. Her bio mom had her at a “home for unwed moms” and Catholic charities did her adoption. Turns out we grew up in the same city, just different high schools. Absolutely crazy. I’m now doing DNA study to confirm and investigate more. Also, new sister assisted in the care of my sister’s ex husband when he had cancer so I’m sure my 32 yo niece will remember her. Such a small crazy world
Grandma was born in the 1920s. The only thing more 'shameful' to a southern family at the time than admitting there was African American in the family was admitting you had Native American in the family. At least in her area of Arkansas. We did a 23 and Me test as a family and what we found out was there was no black Dutch in the family that she went to the grave claiming. Instead, we found out it was her covering up the fact that we had Native American in the family.
Black Dutch is a slang term for mixed race ancestry, commonly Native American ancestry. I'm curious what your Grandma meant by it if not alluding to having Native American ancestry?
because i was curious..it looks like it could have been either way ..
There are strong indications that the original "Black Dutch" were swarthy-complexioned Germans. Anglo-Americans loosely applied the term to any dark-complexioned American of European descent. The term was adopted [by some people] as an attempt to disguise Indian or infrequently, tri-racial descent..
then there is this way of explaining the term,,,,interesting regardless
The most common designation of “Black Dutch” refers to Dutch immigrants to New York who had swarthier complexions than most other Dutch. The darker complexions were usually due to intermarriage or out of wedlock births with Spanish soldiers during the Spanish occupation of the Netherlands.
@@pridefulheartsee comment below
My very southern family had multiple Native American wives/husband in the family in the 20s and prior… nothing was shameful about that. The grandchildren/nieces of some of those natives are in their 90’s now and adore my black husband. Then other side of my family worked with the black people in their area because they were ALL dirt poor and every year they partied with them and donated a family steer for Juneteenth. Also back in the 20s-30s and prior. Don’t blame it on being southern please. blame it on your family’s particular culture. Lots of southerners didn’t care and had no issues with other races. That’s your family’s deal.
@@faithwdengshe literally said “at least her area of Arkansas” if you’re not from that area don’t assume you know what’s it’s like over there. You can multiple different ideologies in different parts of city, county,region or state but you won’t know unless you’re from there so keep that in mind.
My grandmother lied over and over again to my mom about her true paternity for all of her life until she had DNA proof of the lie shoved under her nose. By the time my mother learned her real father, it was too late and he had already passed away, never knowing my mom existed. The silver lining to this, at least, was that she found her father's twin sister and their family, who were shocked and thrilled to discover my mom existed. It helps coat the bitter pill of knowing that if my grandmother had just been honest when my mom was seeking answers as an adult, my mom would have had a father, and we, her children, a grandfather. By all accounts, if he had known we existed, he would have loved us.
Courtesy of ancestry lol
I wouldn't even know if I have that courtesy 32 years later and trust me I've been looking my mom would not be honest with me and she is deceased and has been for the last 24 years! I tried to get the truth out of her she just wouldn't tell me I asked her best friend at least I had six possibilities but I exhausted all of those! It truly sucks not knowing who your father is!
I don't know why families keep such secrets, their shame should not exist!
I was close to an older relative who was my grandfathers cousin and lived on my Great-grandparent's farm his entire life. He was our family historian and I loved hearing him talk about the old days. I asked him about Clara, my grandfather's sister who never married, never left home, but lived to be 100+. He paused a bit, gave me a big smile and in his German/Texas accent said, "Ja, she never married... but she had a baby!" (pause for dramatic effect) and that baby is ME!
I thought that was the story, but I looked up our family tree and found that his "mother" was identified as a different married sister who was younger. She raised him as her own child since Clara wasn't married. That's when I found the twist in the tale... Clara was 48 years old when she gave birth to him around the turn of the century (1900ish)!
My maternal grandmother, whom I've since disowned for a multitude of reasons, is a very selfish and narcissistic woman. Due to societal standards and pressures, I can understand her keeping certain secrets in the 70s and 80s when my mom was a child, but once my mother was grown with her own family and began searching for her father... My grandmother still lied. It's too nuanced to get into here but believe me when I say there is no moral angle that could justify my grandmother's decisions.
My mom only discovered the truth because she found a half-sister on Ancestry, who knew for certain who her father was, and thus-- the truth revealed.
Growing up my brother and I were treated different by my dad's side of the family, they're Greek and were mad he married and American. When he passed they pretty much ignored out existence. Years later I did the 23 and Me thing. They prided themselves on being pure Greek. To my surprise I'm 70% Italian, with about 5% Greek. Saw an Aunt and told her, she started with denial of "It must be wrong" then accused my mom of cheating. She took the test (I know because I saw her on the site as a relative). Hope they get to live the rest of their lives knowing they were super rude when they weren't even the race they thought they were.
You mean nationality? Greeks, Italians and presumably your mother are all white
That’s hilarious…. 😂😂
@@rachaelf5903 I think the word here is ethnicity. Nationality is where you were raised, regardless of skin color and family lines, etc. Race is very broad while ethnicity has the benefit of being more precise. So the race may be white, but the ethnicity would be Mediterranean and Greek.
@@rachaelf5903are you saying because they're white it's nationally not ethnicity?
@@rachaelf5903that stuff can mean a lot to people who place way too much importance on it. I have a French middle name bc my mom was so proud of us being French (think she found it exotic 🙄) took a DNA test and we are less than 2 percent French. Like so miniscule. She was so super pissed at me for that lol
My daughter was sick and had been hospitalized 3x with low immunoglobulin before we found out that her dad was adopted. It was a person saying the truth at a cookout with no alcohol involved. My daughter found her dad's half brother from 23 and me. Her dad has ghosted everyone, including my daughter and her daughters, his grandchildren.
That's so sad.
I took an ancestry DNA test back in 2017 and ended up finding my a full blood relative. My sister and I learned we were both adopted and then found each other on Ancestry. We then learned we had two other half siblings and found our biological family through researching together. Now I just recently moved to the Midwest and live by my sister and biological family and am getting to know them!
That's amazing!!!
@DawnKellyPhotography it is! I'm incredibly grateful to have found blood relatives! I love my parents who raised me but there is something special knowing your blood relatives after 32 years of not knowing who was out there!
Alright Charlotte, ready for this DNA test story? My father was 80 years old and had always been super proud of being Swedish. He dressed me and my son in traditional Swedish clothing. He had Swedish signs and colors all over the place. He once asked his mother why his hair was dark and he tanned more than his sisters, but she just said his father had a little bit of Native American in him. So… He is 80 years old and takes a DNA test. He is 0% Swedish and 0% Native American. Turns out he is 50% Italian just like his uncle in law! During the day that we found this out, I had been telling my 8 year-old son that he needed to be more thankful for the things he had instead of always asking for more. Then we get this phone call. After we hung up, I turned to my son, and said “see, you even need to be thankful you know who your father is”. My son raised his finger and his eyebrows and asked “or do I?” We were laughing so hard!!! Oh, I am adopted, and after all of this, my dad made me take a DNA test. Sometimes I just have to pick my battles. And it turns out that I actually was a bit Swedish and a bit of Native American lol😂
Can I be friends with your child. I like to harass my father with the fact he’s “not” my father on my birth certificate because he spelled his middle name wrong. We still haven’t figured out if he spelled it right on their marriage license
I was sure I was Irish, German and French. I found out I was part native American, Swedish, Norwegian and the parts I already knew about. I was floored...I didn't expect the native American to show up at all.
@@addyshorhnr3544Its actually pretty easy to make corrections on birth certificates, official ones literally have the form on the back sometimes 😂 you should get that fixed lol
@@thetree2358sounds about right. Thats likely due to the erasure. The white passing indigenous folk would usually just pretend to be something else. They were forced to really. If they didnt they were treated awfully.
Omg the twist that you’re Swedish and Native American. Sending you love from another American Swede. I’m glad you got some enjoyment from the chaos! 😂
During my Dad's first marriage, they had one biological daughter and then the other girl that was born ended up not being his-- because his wife was cheating. He divorced her but treated those children equally and raised the other child as his own. He never came to his ex-wife just for his daughter, but always took both to spend time with them and called them both his daughters. I just thought it was commendable. They were close in age and the real father of the second child was not in the picture. Both girls always called him Dad. He did tell her the truth later on when she was older, but that would have been too much on a young child and I think he was right to wait on that. I came along 18 years later in my Dad's second marriage and soon after, the second daughter had a child of her own, only 2 years younger than me. So I grew up with her, technically my niece, even though we looked the same age. It was also funny when people thought she was my Dad's daughter too, but he was like, nope, grandaughter! I never knew about my niece not actually being blood related to me until I was an adult also. She went everywhere with us, the beach, Disney World, etc. etc. Families can be so messy and complicated, but if love is there, that's all that matters, blood or not!
What a good person he is! That's so lovely ❤️
@mikipoole1944 Thank you for your comment. He passed recently, we all miss him dearly. 💔
LOVE THIS!! Yes! You can choose your family regardless of dna/blood ties!
My ex SIL (a raging narcissistic sociopath) truly “tricked my husbands brother into “marriage” by getting pregnant - we all knew it and he denied it but when she got pregnant then had an abortion but then 3 months later once again turned up pregnant we knew what was up (she’d also been literally stalking him for 4 years while he dated someone else, I saw all of this). Anyways…she not only faked an entire marriage/wedding (I was maid of honor, tried my damn best to be accepting and chill - paid for several items of the “wedding” and took off days of work to decorate venue and make decorations - anyways after the “wedding” we found out that they weren’t legally married as she’d fallen out w the never-ordained BFF dude who wedded them 🙄 and never had papers or anything! After the dude called the entire family to reveal the faux wedding, this chick made comments that my daughter from my first marriage (she was 3 when her dad left is and I remarried) wasn’t a “true” grandkid bc she didn’t share their blood! My husband has been her “dad” for forever and his folks her grandparents took us both in with open arms and full of love - oh you want to talk about ticking folks off! Lol! Yeah so you see why she’s now an ex SIL thank god!
I love the first woman's delight in straightening out her family tree.
The second woman, I love her compassion and understanding.
Third, your dad.
Damn.
The 2nd story makes zero sense tho and I listened 3 times. "my birth mom's letter said I was a boy but my birth dad was a dirt bag." what? What does him being a dirt bag have to do with the girl here being born, her mom and Dr seeing an obvious penis and mom then writing a letter SAYING "my son..." - but yet the girl is female? No sense at all. I'm dying on the hill that she was born intersex and the Dr and mom decided taking out the testicles would be easier than giving the baby a hysterectomy and removing the cervix, vaginal canal and closing the vaginal opening. That's THE only thing that makes sense. The other option "I was literally born a boy but my birth dad was an abusive prick so I'm a girl" makes. No
Sense. Poor girl better dig deeper cuz she's got some major truths being withheld from her.
My grandmother revealed to us that we are Native American when I was an adult. She told us what tribe and what clan. She had been taught to assimilate, and hid her heritage till she was in her 70s. By then she did not care what people thought anymore
My uncle, while in the Air Force, and married with a family, had a child with a Puerto Rican woman while stationed in Puerto Rico. My cousin took a DNA test and discovered that she had a sister. Both my uncle and aunt had passed away, and this would have never been discovered, without the DNA test. My cousin was happy to have a sister, since she had only brothers, and went to go visit her sister, who now lives in the USA. Her sister looks exactly like my uncle, but with darker hair and skin. My cousin had a great time visiting her new sister.
I did 23 and me a few years ago. I'm African American, so most things relating to family history are passed down through word of mouth, without any kind of official paper trail. My results came back with things that I expected (mostly west African, a decent percentage European, the usual), and a few surprises as well. It also showed that I have Native American ancestry too, which the family has always said but had never been able to confirm. Overall it was just nice to be able to see where I came from. I grew up with friends knowing exactly which three or four countries their families came from, and for me it was always several question marks with a bunch of educated guesses.
My grandparents had a kid out of wedlock at 16 and did a closed adoption. They didn't tell a soul until I was 10yrs old. My mom who was the only girl and youngest out of the 2 known siblings was about 40ish. Her older brother found us with a private investigator and popped back into our lives! It was a shock to find out I had a older uncle! He was like in his 50s at the time!
I took the DNA test and a few years later a woman reached out to me looking for my father. Turns out she was my older sister that I hadn't seen in almost 40 years. Best test I ever took.
My entire life, my mom told us we were native American and white. Did ancestry dna. Turns out we're all mixed up. Native American, Haitian, African American, and a little Caucasian. I joke that I'm basically gumbo.
Well, who doesn't love gumbo? Delicious blend of cultures and flavors!
😆😆
Solid joke 😂
That joke is adorable, gumbo ❤
I've always joked that I'm a mutt. I love it though.
My mom took a DNA test a couple years ago and found a niece in her 50s! Apparently one of my uncles had a one night stand with a girl on vacation. They never spoke again so he had no idea she got pregnant and put the baby up for adoption. Since we found her she's been a huge part of our family and she comes to all family gatherings! Really seems like the kind of thing that happens on TV and would never happen to you
God bless for accepting her
Been a genealogist for a couple decades and you come across a LOT of these sorts of things. 1) was contacted by a woman who said her mother was possibly an illegitimate daughter of my great uncle. I didnt think so because he had no children...she sent the birth cert and it was 100% true. Asked an uncle if he'd ever heard that story and he reluctantly admitted he had! 2) Had a gr grandfather who was widowed at 43 (12 kids), thought it was sad as I thought he remained single till death at 73...nope found he married 2x more to a 18 yo when he was 58 and a 20 yo when 70...turned out my grandmother knew about that one too. 3) had a great uncle who disappeared in the 1930s and his mother was shopping in a town far away and found him working the counter. Had chged his name and never told anyone why. Later questioned in an unsolved LA murder (very famous), 4) Currently have two DNA matches with people im reasonably sure were illegitimate descendants of two great uncles (one the guy who chged his name). 5) a 2nd great grandfather who was indicted for murder in the 1860s with several of his bro in-laws. 6) a 3rd great grandfather who was polygamist with 7 wives and 43 children. Just the tip of the iceberg...
When I was trying to get pregnant back in the late 90s and early 2000s, all of the doctors that I talked to refused to use a friend of ours who was willing to contribute sperm instead of anonymous sperm donation.
They literally told people to lie about how they got pregnant and to lie even to the children. I refused to do that and then we DIY our donor insemination because I felt very strongly that that was a birthright for a child to know their biological family.
My daughter always has known that she has her adoptive father who was my husband and her biological father who is now very good friend and long-term part of our family. My daughter is 19 and I am so glad that we did not lie because the DNA tests are proving me right.
Shows again how arrogant some doctors used to be and still are.
I'd feel the same way if I could have kids. It's magical for your kid to have two fathers.
Just some curiosity, did the biological father contribute anything towards your daughter's upbringing? Like diapers or school fees or quality time to nurture their relationship? Or was he more Dad by blood and title?
It's turning out that anonymous sperm donation is fraught with problems, with deception rife about how often particular donors were used, etc. With the result being the emergence of massive "sibling pods."
Not to mention it’s important not to lie about that, because you need to know your genetic history. It can help people make medical decisions in the future, especially family planning.
When I was a kid, an adoption agency or something phoned us one day. My mom said they had the wrong number, but she seemed scared / worried about the call. Like 10 years later we all found out that my Aunt had a baby as a teen and my grandmother made her give the baby up, for some reason they told the adoption agency the baby was my mom's. Anyway, I have another cousin now, and my aunt is thrilled she's back in the family.
This is why I love my immediate family. We're as effed as any other family, but we don't have "family secrets", we just have stories, and everyone knows them. No one's surprised by anything lol
My parents did AncestryDNA, zero surprises on my dad’s side, but on mom’s side we discovered that some of our Irish ancestry was originally from Scotland. Scottish people who emmigrated to Ireland, and generations later their descendants emmigrated to the USA.
My brother who's passed, had a son nobody knew about (put up for adoption) and we're so happy he found us bc he's just like his father!!! ❤
🥹❤
My gran used to be very Conservative about relationships, and my parents were kinda ahead of their time socially, they went on holiday alone together and moved in together before they were married etc. My gran was very angry, refused to visit their home and told them that she hoped they didn't have any "little bastards".
Cut to a decade ago, my gran looked into her family tree and found out that not only were her parents not married, making HER a bastard! But that her mother was still married to another man when she ran off with her father!
My mum laughed so hard when she found out! 😂
Thanks for the laugh! Karma.
Karma
My father served in the US Navy in the 1950s; he was a communications specialist on a submarine who spoke Japanese and Russian. He had told me and my siblings about this - how he was stationed near Japan, translated intercepted transmissions from the Japanese and Russians (Soviets) - which we all thought was so cool, cuz it sounded all super secret spy stuff. He had also told us about being a sailor in many different ports and girls everywhere. But what he didn't tell us was what he actually ended up telling MY sons: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure that I left a baby or two back in Japan" When my kids told me, I was like, "WHAT???!!!!!!" I'm not upset, I just was surprised because why would he tell 2 grandsons and not his own kids?? But that was my Dad - he could drop bombshells like others Mic drop. One day, when I was about 16 or 17 and my two younger brothers were all heading to a mall, Dad points at a park and says, "That's where my first wife and I had picnics." What??!!! You were married before?? He looked at our surprised faces and said, "Didn't your mom tell you we were both married before?" I said that mom told us she was but she had never said anything about him being married. He just goes, "Yeah, I was." And that was the end of that conversation. btw, I would LOVE to know if I have any half siblings from Japan! I've done DNA testing but unless the other person does the same test, I'll never know, what a shame
Man recently ive been staying with a man who's 85 and he does that sh*t!! Just drops bombs outta nowhere. Speaks matter of factly & acts like nothing afterwards lol
Im the one whos had to adjust lol
You can track by familia (sp?) DNA but you have to look for like cousins, etc. Do you have any Japanese family showing up in your extended family? That would be where I would start first.
OMG, I wonder if I have sibs from another country!!! This man sounds exactly like my dad!!! (Definitely a different guy😂 but very similar life story)
My grandfathers uncle was actually his brother. So Mary gave birth to John when she was like 13-14, and only the parents and Mary knew. John was told later in his late teens. It only came out when Marys children and grandchildren were confused why she was leaving John so much in her will. She ended up breaking down and telling everyone. What's really slack though is that John wanted his ashes to go in a slot in Marys grave but my mums cousins took ownership and wouldn't let him. His ashes are in the same cemetary but not near his mum. He was also just an amazing person and doted on my mum and her siblings. Got her her first job, was a really chill guy. The cousins did him dirty.
I was adopted and did a DNA test. Found a brother and two sisters on my dads side. Found a brother and three sisters on my moms side. Both parents have passed on. Thankful all but two have accepted me into the families. I didn't ruin any lives but actually answered past questions for them.
I have more siblings than anyone you know. This is a big story that is still mostly a secret in my direct family. In my 30s had an ovarian cancer scare. Was reminded my paternal grandmother died of ovarian cancer. Get my right ovary removed and do genetic testing. Things look good. In my early 40s did a 23 and me test just to see my ethnicity origin. In the relatives section 2 half siblings appear. I am an only child. Knowing my dad had affairs I assumed that was it. A few weeks later a half sister appears. She contacts me to find out my background. She found out she is from a sperm donor. And also shares that there are 6 more half siblings on the ancestry site. Finally confirm with mother yes I am the product of a sperm donor too. Would have been nice to know during the cancer scare. But it gets even crazier. The original donor was found. He had been donating for 18 years, twice a week. This was in the 60s and 70s so less regulations. My current count of known half siblings is 26. There are many more out there that are already gone or will never do testing. But doing the math, even with low estimates, were talking in the 100s.
This was one thing that I wondered about when all the DNA testing became popular. It is so possible for the number of siblings to run into the hundreds because of artificial insemination. Good luck to you!
I read abt a similar case (or is it the same case?) - a guy in Netherland fathered 500+ kids
I'm thinking, people who take donor's sperm probably really want a kid. So it's not like unplanned pregnancy and then neglect. I hope you all had good parents, bio or not
However the idea of possible mating with a half-sibling is pretty scary! It's vital to know all
@@anabltcdonor conceived people are currently fighting very hard for regulating the fertility industry because Anonymous donating is vital healthcare information that gets lost and people have massive and I mean MASSIVE sibling pods. Sperm banks are regional too, so in the same town there are dozens of your half siblings walking around.
I knew a girl in high school who was one of 37 and counting. Confirmed, not estimated
Wow they need to think about some diversity or they might end up with people getting married without knowing they are related... Inbreeding is dangerous for future generations.
This just gave me flashbacks to when I found out I had an older half brother and decided to contact him. I was about 13-14 at the time and my sister about 10-11. We’re from a strict Asian family and my sister was in her rebellious phase, so she argued a lot with my parents. One day, she came back after going shopping with our mom and is ranting about how horrible it was. At the end of her rant, she goes “and you know what? They’re not as good as they paint themselves to be, because dad has another child back in Minnesota.”
I’m shocked as she explains how mom just dropped the bomb on her in the heat of one of their arguments. After processing this info for a few days, I’m now going shopping with mom and I ask her in the car. She has a tendency to confide in me about her life stressors, so she just laid out everything for me.
My dad, back when he was 18-19, got his girlfriend at the time pregnant. They had the child, eventually broke up, and had shared custody for a few years up until my dad got married to my mom. She found out when she helped my dad drop off my brother with his mother after spending a weekend with my dad and grandparents. My mom’s family knew and that’s one of the reasons why they didn’t like my dad (very Christian conservative leaning aunts and uncles, none of my cousins knew).
Back to me though, I decided to be a little creep and look up my brother’s information. He is almost a carbon copy of my dad when he was younger, so there was no doubt he was related! I messaged him without my family knowing for a while, just to get his point of view on everything and to get to know him. Christmas was coming up and I wanted to meet him in person, so I talked to my parents and my brother came to stay with us for a week during the holidays. It was great! I had always wanted an older sibling to vent to, like my sister did with me, and I had one I didn’t even know about. He is great and we all love and treat him like a regular sibling (even though he calls my parents by their first names, for which I understand). He’s actually getting married next year and I am stoked to celebrate him and my soon-to-be SIL!
A little late coming, but, congratulations🎉 haha
You're brilliant for reuniting your family. I bet it's been wonderful for your brother to be so welcomed by all of you. Can I ask how his relationship is with your Dad? Take care.
@@elenawilliams32 just checked on this comment, but his relationship with our father is professional to say the least. When he spent the weak with our family, my brother and I had some one-on-one time to just talk about his life and point of view. He didn’t remember much about my dad, as he was too little when my dad and my brother’s mom cut ties all together. (There was actually a big argument one Christmas long ago that was the catalyst for that. Kind of ironic that the reunion happened to be on another Christmas!) Anyways, my brother said that since he had no “dad” in his life growing up, it wasn’t going to automatically make him feel like my dad is his father figure. I understand this and I don’t blame him or anyone else in this matter. Thankfully, my brother had other people in his life, like his mom and his grandparents who cared for and raised him. He still occasionally interacts with my parents, but more so with us siblings.
there was a mystery in my family that got resolved. Basically, during ww2 one of my great-great-uncles went missing. He just dissappeared, nobody knew what happened to him and they didn't have time to look because my family lives like 10km from one of the fronts and they had bigger issues. Anyway, turns out he was spying for the fascists(Italy) and when my great-great-grandfather (uncles father) found out, he killed him and tossed him into a river. Great-great-grandfather never said anything but some letters to his brother were found and shipped to us and in them he basically explains everything since he wanted to put it out there before his death. He never told anyone because he didn't want my great-great-grandmother to find out that her son was a fascist or at the very least, a fascist sympathizer. (Fascists were pretty much doing a genocide on my people during that time, spying for them was betraying the whole nation, not just our family).
My scandalous family secret is my uncle Paul, who had a wife and three daughters, had a side chick. Side chick also had three daughters with him. And he named both firstborn daughters, Paula. So there’s literally two daughters in the family, both named Paula after her father. And the only way they found out about each other is when he died. Both women wanted to make his funeral arrangements.🤦🏾♀️
Wow! What happened? Did your Aunt let his girlfriend and his other daughters be included or come to the funeral?
Heh, and George Foreman named all his kids George.
Omg my grandpa did this same thing with my grandma and his side chic! My mother and her sister are both named Barbara smh and we found out the same way when my grandpa died back in 1995 my aunt Barbara came to the funeral smh
It caused a huge fight in the family. His legal wife refused to have his mistress or her kids there. We got to meet them long after funeral was over. Both sides to this day hate each other. 🤦🏾♀️
My sister and I discovered that we were identical twins after telling everyone for 40 years that we were fraternal. We issued a formal apology on FB after we got the results. LOL.
Our stepfather found out he has an older half-sister the family (and his father) hadn't known about and then a year or so later he found out about a daughter he didn't know about. So that was interesting too.
The big nasty secret that came out in my family was concerning my aunt and cousin. My aunt was always a very pig headed and unpleasant person, and she would never listen when told not to do something. Well, at the age of 14, she got pregnant, and she put the blame solely upon a neighbor boy. My grandma and his parents being old fashioned made them get married (it was the 70's) and my aunt had the baby boy and that was that. Well, not only did it turn out that my uncle was very very gay, but he was not the father of the boy. Rather it was my mom and aunt's first cousin, who had been living with my grandma at the time because of family issues. Her son was completely inbred. When it all came to head, half the family was up in arms, and my own branch of the tree were the only ones who stayed clear of it.
Oof, imagine minding your own business when out of nowhere the girl next door accuses your gay butt of impregnating her and suddenly your parents force you into marriage. Dude had it rough
Why the heck didn't that poor boy refuse to marry her if he knew he couldn't have been the child's father? Was it because he was desperate to keep his sexuality a secret? I suppose that would be a good enough reason, back in the day, but man, the poor guy.
Is your cousin alive, and if so, how did she take the news about her mother and father? These things still happen today all around the world. It's gross to many of us, but not gross at all in certain countries.
STORY TIME ~
I met a nice gentleman where I work. He asked me loads of questions about me & my husband, & I asked him about his wife and child. We're in England and he is from an African country, can't remember which, other than a northern one. I asked if he met his wife here in England or if he met & and married her in their home country. He said they came to England together. I asked him how they met
He said, "My mother is her mother's sister." I about died, 😱 haha. I'd never met anyone before who actually said that to me. I also told him to maybe be careful with telling people that story as it isn't good in our society, as it's considered VERY taboo. To which he had to use Google for both, the word taboo & then to learn how Western culture thinks about his situation (first cousin incest). After reading about it on our hour long lunch break, he was very quiet for the rest of the day and the next few days. I think he was devastated to learn that. Poor guy. He showed me photos of his little boy and he's probably the most beautiful little guy I've ever seen. I don't know why I sorta expected to have 3 eyes or something. 😉
I have 2 cousins that are 1st cousins and they are married and have children. And then there's a cousin that was married to her uncle. Let's just say southern states 😂
@@Julia-uh4li My gay uncle got married very much to hide that he was gay, as his family was super catholic. And when my cousin found out that his parents were cousins themselves, it caused a big rift. Lots of family fights that my part of the family thankfully didn't have to personally witness, but the stories abound.
@@doriwilson6991 ewwwwwwwwwww
My best friend of over 26 yrs and I found out her maternal uncles were actually my 3rd cousins. Growing up we’d always tell people we were either best friends or we’d say “oh thats my cousin”. Little did we know my quest for finding family members from my maternal grandmother’s side would lead me to Ancestry and to finding out someone I grew up and called family, was indeed family💖
Got the DNA test as a Christmas present from my husband. He got one for himself as well. I found out that I was adopted by my bio aunt. My bio mom didn't want a girl and had 2 other boys. My husband found out that his mom had an affair and he's the bastard child out of the family. He was so heartbroken that he was not able to connect with his bio dad, as he passed away aa few years before finding out. The man that raised him was verbally and physically abusive. Just a ststorm. We found this out while I was months pregnant. No idea what the family health looks like.
how can a woman give away one of her kids because its not a sex she wanted? im sorry but that beotch doesn't deserve to them have any of her kids. thats disgusting.
I have been doing genealogy for quite a while, and it always amuses me how shocked people are about secret relatives and shotgun marriages; I have discovered many 4 and 5 month pregnancies in my family tree. People are no different now than they were in the past and the same things happened, probably more so, since birth control was much more difficult and less effective in those days. On the positive side, I have been able to help a number of unknown relatives discover their ancestors, including a second cousin who was dropped off as an infant in a church in the 1920's and never knew who her family was; I was able to tell her about her father. The big jigsaw puzzle is a lot of fun at times.
I did Ancestry in 2019. I have been totally fortunate to find my birth family. I have 2 sisters (always wanted a sister) and a brother and tons, I mean tons, of relatives on both sides. I have been fully welcomed into the family. No negativity. I speak with my birth mom every week.
We found out my great grandfather had a whole other family after his passing, turns out my greatgrandmother knew but stayed with him. My grandmother was devastated but happy to have more siblings! All thanks to 23 and me 😂😂
I remember the story of the fertility doctor who got exposed of fathering the children of her patients without consent through a DNA site. HE FREAKIN FATHERED MORE OR LESS 150 KIDS.
What was his name?
@@caitlynmarie557There's more than one but the most well known one is Donald Cline. He's the one that the popular Netflix documentary "Our Father" is about
Didn't this become an episode of Law and Order: SVU?
This became an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Is that the same doctor that was called "the sperminator"?
I'm always so confused when they keep calling half siblings 'stepsiblings' I mean they're only step siblings if they came with the new marriage partner. If your parent bred them, they're half, not step. My mom always insisted we never take one of those tests because she had this incredibly hardcore belief that these companies were searching people's DNA looking for something. Also, once you send them your DNA samples, they own them and can do what they want with it. So, I just honored her wishes.
They don't "own" them. You give them permission to use it in other research. It'll be a hefty lawsuit if they disregard your wishes.
Yeah, I caught that too. Half = still related by DNA. Step: only related thru marriage. Also, you can tell the companies to delete your data at any point. They don't own anything any more than Facebook owns your photos.
Perhaps your mother have some secrets she doesn't want you to find out?
@@KirstiMereteArnesen 🤭 probably, but she was always conspiracy theory mode too lol
@@anyaholmes9495 ah, makes sense. Thank you. That's what she believed and she's gone now so... little late for her but at least I have info!
My parents divorced when I was ten years old. Eleven years later, my father announced that he was moving across the country to live with his first wife, with whom he had two children before he met and married my mother. I was absolutely dumbfounded. I remember being at the mall with one of my friends and telling her, "any of the people in here could me my brother or sister and I wouldn't know it." What made it more bizarre was that everyone else in my family knew about all this. My half sister even spent part of her summer vacations at our house before I was born. My family literally told me that they just never thought to tell me about any of it.
Karma is lovely, though. The fact my Dad was born out of wedlock was known by all of us but no one would tell us who his birth father was. It was a BIG family secret! My Dad was nine when maternal grandmother died. Dad's stepfather knew the identity of Dad's birth father but took that secret to the grave because the baby-daddy "still has family in the area." Several years later, I took an Ancestry DNA test and matched with a bunch of people from the rural area where my Dad was born & raised but who were not matches with my Dad's mother's family. It didn't take long to figure out who my Dad's birth father was. My favorite part is that my Dad's middle name was the same as the first name of his father and yet, in all that time, no one put it together.
The side-chick girl is lucky that she has awesome sister and that she is loved truly and equally.
The sister ending up being the Mom is way more common than people think. It happened to my stepfather. Found out many years later his "Aunt" was actually his sister
This happened in my family, my mom's cousin was raped at 17 and wanted to put the baby up for adoption but her mom said no way that's our family she stays with us. So she raised the baby herself as her own. The whole family knew except for the baby who grew up think her mom and her aunt were her sisters. They told her the truth I think around 17? It was quite dramatic at first but everything has calmed down since then and I've grown up always knowing them as mother and daughter.
A few years back my husband was told by his sisters they found a brother they never knew they’d had thanks to a DNA test.
He and his wife flew out to meet us and they’re amazing people. Now, they live down the street. In just a few short years our lives changed for the better and we have some amazing family we might never have known about otherwise.
Now I want to try a DNA test just to see if I can find some new family. My current family hates me, only my 2 sisters still talked to me, and my oldest sister died 4 days ago. My brother hasn't spoken to me in over 8 years, told our cousin that I'm "dead to him". I've never felt more alone and unloved.
@@LazyIRanch same with my family which has me wanting to take one now too. My husbands mom and sisters don’t talk to us either. Finding them was such a blessing for so many reasons. It’s hard to think we’d gone our lives not knowing each other. Good luck
I discovered an unknown first cousin on AncestryDNA. She shared the second highest dna with me and she didn’t know who her father was. We have been able to figure out which uncle she belonged to. He has passed away but she has met her siblings and i am meeting her this weekend for the first time. She has gained a whole new family that completely embraces her and I’m so glad i played a part in it.
I feel so proud hearing someone admit they are Romanian 🇹🇩 I have been dealing with so much racism and when I was young I used to avoid telling I'm Romanian. Maybe that's why I really loved your way of being. Thank you for sharing that with us ❤
oh wow, pardon my ignorance but I didn't realize Romanian's dealt with racism. When I was little (a long long time ago) I watched Nadia Comaneci compete in the Olympics on TV and it was so exciting (I even did a school project on her) so I've always loved Romania and Romanians (though I don't know any! LOL). Sorry you had to go though that! I suppose every country/society has their own racism issues. Hope you're not treated that way anymore.
Yes because people (wrongly) associate Romania with communism/poverty and they confuse Romanian people with the Romani people, even though they are unrelated and have limited historical connection.
@@CrazyPlantLady911 Unfortunately I still deal with this but I learned not to care so much anymore. I live in Europe I will not say the country I dont whant to start any comments, and some people are nice and accept us but most of them they like me until they find out my nationality, in some cases after they see my ID they immediately change their face stop smiling and get quiet around me . I had a case where someone squeezed her bag really tight thinking I will steal something from her . I kept a straight face and tried not to show how hurt I was . I went home and literally broke down I cried my eyes out . And the list can go on . But as i said i learned to ignore all of that .
My wife was half Romanian & half Scottish, birth mother born & raised in Romania & father in Scotland, met & had her in America
@@sofiabalan9519I hope someday you will know real acceptance & zero fear of deep seated hidden racism 🫂 After a life of dealing with that kind of crap i would imagine it might only come from our creator...... but you never know🤍
Wishing you many many blessings
The sibling thing happened to my exs family. His mom was pregnant at 15 and the grandma adopted the baby so mom and daughter were sisters. It's apparently a thing from that time era
When my brother was about to marry he wanted to start with a clean slate so he sat his bride-to-be down and told her a shocking family secret. Our father's younger brother married the eldest in a family with a dozen or so kids and since they moved in next door to her parents, her younger siblings were often around. My brother, while visiting our uncle and his wife, over the years (we lived many hours apart) met and fell in love with the youngest sister, who was a fair bit younger than her next eldest sibling. Her mom was older when she was born and they used to call such kids "menopause babies" because it was somewhat common (before birth control was the norm) for women to have their last baby in peri-menopause. So, he sat down his bride-to-be and gently explained that she was in fact NOT a menopause baby, and that the woman she thought was her mother was actually her grandmother because the 2nd eldest sister was in fact her mother, who gave birth to her as a teen. It was also common for parents of teen girls who got pregnant without the possibility of marriage to give their child to their parents to raise. My now sister-in-law was shocked, especially because her "sister" (birth mother) had a bad rep and was kind of the family outcast. Now she understood that her own birth was the cause. BUT the worst part about it was that it had never been hidden from anyone but her, so EVERY person she'd ever met in the community (which was rural and isolated), all the family, neighbours, everyone at her schools, churches, the grocery store - even me and my siblings - EVERYONE but my SIL KNEW. The only person in the dark was her. Imagine knowing that everyone knew your own life story better than you.
On top of that, imagine wondering why everybody hates your older sister and you find out she's your mom from your husband-to-be/ your sister's future son in law. That's just got to be all around trippy.
Awkward moment when you go to marry your Aunt and you have to tell them that they're actually your Cousin.
Did I read this story correctly? 😂
@@isla.vuewall he wasn't engaged to his aunt, nor anyone he's related to by blood. But he is engaged to the daughter of his aunt's sister. With the aunt being the wife of his uncle (dad's brother).
@j0llibee123 isn't that what they call 2nd Aunt and 2nd Cousin though?
And maybe not blood related, but still related, no?
@@isla.vuewallno your second cousins are blood relatives. Your parents' first cousins are your "first cousin- once removed" and their kids are your second cousins.
Things I discovered about my family via Ancestry: on my father's side, my great great grandmother was married at 15, and POSSIBLY died a bigamist (not known for sure since Pennsylvania's divorce records aren't online). Also, my father's parents got married a year earlier than they told my dad growing up, and probably for an unplanned pregnancy that either miscarried or was terminated, based on things my dad said; they met because Poppop was at Pearl Harbor when the Japanese attacked and Mommom was a Navy nurse. On my mother's side, the family that I was always taught never owned slaves because of a religious conviction....actually did, but for way better reasons than one might think: they ran a school, bought children and educated them, and freed them when they turned 18, sending them off with a trade. This was in the 1830s and is SUCH an abolitionist power move, but at the same time, contributed to the erasure of African American history and culture, so it's kind of an uncomfortable fact to think about. On my mother's father's side, we go back to founders of Salem, MA, so, um....probably sorry to the accused? Not entirely sure anyone in my direct lineage was involved in that mess, but still.
I do lots of genealogy and what I've learned is that when you learn the "embarrassing" secrets of your family, you are learning history that helps you correct future things.
Our dirty secret is that my grandma knew my dad was abusing my mother but she intentionally pressured my mom to stay with my dad because she felt that my mother deserved to be punished for getting pregnant with my eldest sister before getting married. She also pressured all four of my aunts and my uncle to shun not just my mom but myself and my siblings (even the ones born within wedlock) because she felt that we were abominations. Initially everyone just kind of did what she said but after Grandpa died everyone just kind of trickled out of her life and then my uncle apparently told her off for being a generally terrible person and he regretted treating my family like crap after they realized how bad my dad was treating us.
I found out when I was 23 that I had an older sister. I was going through a relationship thing and went to my dad's tattoo shop to vent. He sat down with me and I mentioned something about the boyfriend my mom had before dad whose letters she still had. He, trying to remember the guy, asked if that was the guy she "had a kid with". I was confused. When I was 15 mom mentioned that she had an abortion which is how she found out about her cervical cancer. We had a cry and I got over it... so I thought dad meant that... we went back and forth between our individual understandings of the situation until he registered that I had not known the truth. I went numb and he started sobbing like a giant baby. He called mom to apologize as i drove over to her house to confront her. Anyway, I do have a sister, she is 4 years older than me and lived her life just a few miles away from us. Two years later she discovered she was adopted and called my house looking for our mom (phone book era, I was listed before mom)... meeting was weird and we went back and forth between wanting to be friends or not but ultimately she and her kids became close to mom before she died and now they're the only family on mom's side I still talk to. Dad still feels really bad for tattling on mom.
One scandal in my family: my grandfather died when I was 8 or 9. We go out to another state for his funeral and while we're there some shit goes down. So, this woman walks in and people sort of quickly decend on her trying to get her to leave (she doesn't) and it turns out she is my grandfather's old mistress. Certainly a scandal in its own right BUT turns out his old mistress is his step-sister whom he was raised with for years and years. So, like I said, she doesn't leave and my grandmother just shoots daggers out of her eyes at her the whole funeral. Meanwhile the mistress is just in her little spot looking satisfied as hell 💅🏻.
Thankfully they were step siblings and not bio siblings then! 😮😂
The first girl looks so happy about finding out and spilling the family secrets 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Ancestry DNA is how we found out my mom had a half-sister less than a year younger than her. My grandfather was a truck driver who traveled a lot and wasn't the best guy, so I personally wasn't surprised, but it definitely upset a few people in the family. We all agreed it was best we found out after my grandmother had passed
✨☕️✨Charlotte, I am here for the drama! Here’s mine: get a fresh cup of coffee, because it’s a long one. Family secrets: My mom was adopted by an older couple in the 1920s. (I’m in my 60s.) Her adopted dad passes away soon after. My mom is left in the care an adopted mother, who never wanted a child. Tumultuous home life. (Though my mom did have a beloved aunt.) Flash forward, to the 1930s-40s, Brooklyn NY, WW2. My mom, who at just 17, meets a sailor and marries him. My oldest brother is born soon after. Mind you, my mom, even on her best days, never really liked kids-though she loved her own as best she could. She quickly realizes that being married with a kiddo and a husband who traveled wasn’t what she wants. She leaves my oldest brother with her elderly adopted mother, and runs off to join the Women’s Army Corps. She lies about her name (she used the name on her birth certificate), and her marital status. She gets found out (this whole part was never clear) and is sent home to care for her mother and son. Mind you, her first husband always seemed to exist in the wings. She never missed the opportunity to villainize him. He comes home on leave, (did he even know she’d run off? 🤷🏼♀️) and Mom gets pregnant with my sister. The marriage falls apart. Divorce wasn’t easy back then, and mostly unheard of in the Catholic Church. After numerous verbal altercations, and being slapped across the face by the parish priest, Mom is excommunicated and finds herself free woman, albeit with kiddos. Enter my dad, a wonderful man who was never a stepfather, always a dad. All four of us loved him, and he loved all of us. He gave us a happy life, family vacations and long camping trips. I didn’t know my sister and brother had a different dad until I was much older.
Life rolls on and my mother and father have both since passed away. My sister retires and gets into ancestry a bit, as she is beginning to wonder about her birth father and his family. More drama, but not for today. So, my sister gets a DNA test, because, why not? And she discovers she’s pretty much all Irish, through and through. My mom’s first hubs had German ancestry. Hmmmm. My dad was from Ireland. And then my sister is contacted by a close, living DNA match, a lady not much older than her. This lady had been adopted. Turns out I have two sisters to love. Somewhere mixed in between my oldest brother’s birth, my mother’s wild dash from responsibility, her short-lived Army stint, and then the birth of my sister, my mom had a baby girl. She named this baby girl after her beloved aunt, and then put her up for adoption. From what we can fathom, nobody but my mother knew. Not Mom’s first husband, and not my dad. They both would have welcomed another baby with open hearts. Her first husband wasn’t the monster my mom made him out to be and didn’t want to be an absent father. (That’s a whole nuther drama.) This was all on my mom. She was a troubled and conflicted soul.
Later in my parents marriage, they had me, their youngest. My mom gave me the same name she’d given that baby girl, who, for reasons we’ll never know was given up for adoption.
Yay! I have another sister to love. Thankfully she goes by a nickname, because we look very much alike, though I’m a bit younger. So, the name thing would just be weird. I’ve yet to talk to her; I’m a little scared. Now if y’all got through all of this, I owe you a cup of coffee. Screw coffee, this calls for a bottle of wine!
Screw wine, you should be drinking some Irish whiskey.
I want to know more about the first husband and your sister finding his family!
Girl you should write a book because this family tree is deeply fascinating! So much drama!
🤣🤣 I absolutely love your attitude towards this!! Ive already decided after reading a few of these posts that im gonna stop "feeling" certain ways about my family & what ive learned in the past year since my mothers passing.
And I agree ..... its Irish Whiskey, ill join you 🥃
It be the single mothers lying on honest men, so that kids grow up hating their dad smh. Glad you found out.
I was conceived via sperm donor and a few years ago I took a 23andme test. I found a half sister and later we found our bio father and his family. We have since found 10 more half siblings and counting! Everyone is lovely and we have so many random things in common. I haven’t met everyone yet but we are all in touch via group chat. It has been one of the best experiences of my life! 💗
Such a long story, but to try to be brief, my aunt had a child at age 13 and was told the child was stillborn. FF 50 years and through DNA testing, the child found my daughter, then me. My aunt refused to believe the testing and also refused to meet her child. Also worth mentioning, she never had any other children due to medical complications from this birth. It was a huge shock in my family because everyone involved in the secret has passed.
When my dad found out who his birth family was, we found out we are descendants of a guy who was on the Mayflower and is remembered for the weirdest reason. John Howland fell off the ship during a storm and was rescued because someone threw a bucket on a string to him and he caught it and was pulled aboard. Funniest part is that I knew who he was long before my dad found his birth family because we had to Peanuts holiday box set when I was a kid which had The Peanuts’ Mayflower Voyage which of course showed him. Not the only time an ancestor of mine has been portrayed as a cartoon either.
Like half the states can trace their family back to the mayflower
As a polynesian I love that first story. My great grandfather travelled to Samoa to work on the sugar and cocoa plantations. According to relatives, at the end of his contract in Samoa, the company he worked for didnt renew it because he had a relationship with my great-grandmother, a Samoan, which was forbidden. We have absolutely NO paper trail of him but I so wish we did. I hope she is able to meet Faalogo and his family one day.
Dad's side is Italian & Czech, mom's side is Italian & German. A few of us did our Ancestry dna. Turns out we have SIGNIFICANT Irish dna in us from my mom's side.
Before Ancestry put it behind a pay wall we found out its from her mother's side. Mom also did the 23&me which says "either a parent, grandparent, or great grandparent is 100% Irish" Before I stopped speaking to my aunt we found out my great grandmother came to the states & just DISAPPEARED for 20 years! She popped up married to my great grandfather. According to my family my great grandma was an extremely vain woman so the thinking is that she slept with the milkman/mailman whoever which resulted in my grandmother.
But that's NOTHING on my mom's dad's side lol. Great grandpa was a drunk & womanizer. He was married in Sicily (unsure of they had kids) divorced his first wife. Hopped on the boat to the states. Met & married his second wife. Had 7 kids with her. Ran off with the nanny (my great grandmother) we found no evidence of them being married. They had 8 kids.
My aunt had met with some of my grandfather's half siblings, according to them their mother (great grandpa's second wife) had told the kids that their dad died BEING HIT BY A TRAIN!
Yeaaaa, mom's side of the family is SUPER fucked. Dad's side is more chill lol.
My great grand father had 9 children with his first wife... and then 9 kids with his mistress...
Im starting to believe my decision not to have children is deeply rooted in the subconscious.....
seriously
@@Elhastezy888 RIGHT!!
YESS!!! Found out I have a long lost half sister. She's a few years older than me and super cool
ETA: She took an ancestry test and my paternal aunt (who loves genealogy and had a dna test ages ago) popped up in my sister's results as a CLOSE familial match. My sister gets my aunt's contact info (I forget if it was through the dna company or fb), and messages her, introduces herself and explains the DNA results. My aunt, who is the most loving, welcoming person in the world, immediately confirms and tells her about the entire family and gets her in touch with our dad. Apparently there were always rumors that my dad had had gotten a woman pregnant while she was separated from her husband, but the woman seemed to ghost my dad after deciding to get back with her husband.... This was the rumor, idk if it's accurate, but I do know that even though my dad is dorky as hell he somehow has THREE kids who are all half siblings with different moms. So yeah, as soon as my sister reached out to my aunt, my aunt knew right away who she was and that the rumor that our dad was indeed her father had in fact been true.
Incidentally, I also have a half sister on my mom's side (my mom had her young, and her parents hid her away a "pregnancy home" where my sister was taken from her as soon as she was born... Pretty horrible but common practice). The crazy part is all four of us half siblings were raised separately, by different people in different parts of the country, yet we all have an affinity for animals and science, and we're all sassy as hell. 😂
When I was a teenager, during one of the family Thanksgiving family reunions, I found out that my Aunt had given up a child for adoption. Fast forward 35ish years. My cousin and another man did the ancestry DNA test. When they matched, the other man got a hold of my cousin. Turns out the other man was our long lost cousin! Unfortunately, my Aunt had passed away a few years before we found her son. My new found cousin lives about an hour away from his sister! We have gotten together and the family is whole.
I am traumatized by a story like those in my own family and I hate all the family secrets related to side chicks/guys so much!
When I was 15 I got really into DnD, joined the local club, met a guy a year older, we had an instant connection, like we were perfect teammates, we had the rapport needed for a good gaming session, everything was great. I told my mom, he told his - and they both instantly tried to forbid going to the club! Like wtf? Turned out the guy and I had the same father, who was married to neither of our mothers, who hated each other, because of course they knew, but they never even thought of telling their children about half-siblings. And the best part of story is that both of them were afraid we'd hook up and stuff, hence the ban of a club. Both the guy and I are gay, so not a chance 🤣
This story feels like the end has poetic justice. I don't get people's minds, if they don't want you two banging it seems telling the truth would solve that by itself. Both of you ending up with same sex attraction though, that's like a chef's kiss to your parents for being liars. God doesn't like ugly, he's gonna get you. 😆
this is the biggest and scariest problem with ppl running around cheating and also using sperm donors. u never know if/when u might hook up with a half sibling and its happened more often than u think esp donors who gave a lot of sperm over a large number of years. i think sperm donors should be limited on how many times they can give and also how many times their sperm can be used. there are some that have found out they could possibly have around 100 half siblings because a man donated his sperm back in 60s and 70s for 18 yrs twice a week. they have found 26 so far. thats way too much. then there's the fertility doctor who was substituting his sperm for the donors without telling the couples and i think so far they have found 96 kids. he was sued but only got a slap on the wrist a small fine no jail time etc because a) he was now elderly in his 70s and b) there weren't specific laws against it at the time but many woman felt violated when they found out and husbands had kids they raised that they found out weren't theirs. but he passed on a bad genetic trait which affected nearly every one of his kids. his wife had no idea he had done this but stood by him not believing it despite many many dna tests proving it. he had 4 bio kids with that wife who were super pissed.
I'm adopted and had limited information about my birth parents and Grandparents. So I did an Ancestry DNA test to get to know me better. I learned from my DNA that my ancestors have been all around the world spreading their err love wherever they go 😅
Can u imagine the family reunion? You're gonna need to hold a whole international convention! 😂
Genghis Khan?
@@carlamarlene2927 LOL
My best friend is originally from Argentina. She did one of those DNA tests, and a few months later she was contacted by a man who was a close genetic match. Basically, related through her great-grandfather. He was adopted, and based on his age, they think he might be one of the “disappeared”
The “disappeared”? Could you clarify, please?
I am LOVING this flavor of tea, please do more, Charlotte! It's so interesting!
My dad took a DNA test with Ancestry some years ago. He has a Polish last name, his dad's family immigrated to the USA from Poland, we have this whole family tree from his Polish uncle.
Test came back, 0% Polish, but very Italian. 🤔 He has an olive complexion, so this kinda made sense.
We don't have all the details, since both his parents died, but the theory is that while Grandpa was off in the war, Grandma had an affair, and passed Dad off as legitimate when Grandpa came back and was just "born early".
I did the same DNA test that year, and yup, 0% Polish.
I took a 23 and Me and my sisters came back as "half siblings" which wasn't a *complete* shock as there had always been family speculation on if it was possible their father wasn't my father. Even while having suspicions though, it felt weird, you know? Suspicions and facts are very different. And my mom passed when I was 13 months old and took the information to the grave with her.
Luckily, my friend gifted me with an Ancestry test in the hopes it would yield more results and get me more answers. It didn't for a few months but suddenly, one late night in April, I got a message from a man asking who I was and why we were a 50% match. I told him my mother's name and the rest is history. We're in constant contact and are trying to get to know one another. Luckily, he was thrilled and his wife has been nothing but inviting and warm.
I did the 23 and Me test for medical history as I was adopted as an infant. I did not find any close relatives but did find out lots of medical information and heritage, which was wonderful as I get older.
My dad recorded and kept all of our phone calls for about a year and I was fortunate enough to get them when he passed. I haven't had the nerve to sit and listen to all of them but I have listened to bits and pieces and learned a few things that never made sense as a child. What's cool though is I can record just a few phrases or something to pass on to my sister when she's missing him. She was always a daddy's girl and has struggled with his death quite a bit so there's definitely the silver lining to finding those tapes
That story about the sisters hit too close to home! When I got pregnant for the first time at 30 years old all attention in the family was on me because I was pregnant with the first set of boy/girl twins in our entire family history. So my sister in her infinite wisdom gets her abusive alcoholic boyfriend to knock her up and 8 weeks later we get the news she's pregnant too! (Surprised pikachu face. Not really. She's always been like that.) She acted like she was already pregnant and didn't know. But!!! The timing of my due date and her due date was literally two months apart. Gee, I wonder why.
My mother did Ancestry DNA test after I did one. I know on her side is my mom and my uncle, come to find out they both have a half sister no one knew about. When talking to my grandparents we discovered my grandfather didn't even know she existed. When he was in high school he was on the swim team, and there was this girl who was sleeping with practically every member of the swim team. He said that one day she just stopped going to school and moved away; he never heard from her again. Turns out she had gotten pregnant and her family and her moved since it was a small town. She had given the child up for adoption, and my now newly found aunt was trying to learn about her birth parents. Needless to say my moms side of the family kind of got stirred up. (this only happened like 3 years ago) I was talking to my grandmother about this and she said that if she had know that if my grandfather had a kid she wouldn't have married him; to say the least that was a huge and painful blow for me. now I really don't talk to that side because all of them are pretty toxic.
Wow that's crazy..The girl probably didn't know who the father was.
@@DawnKellyMedia that's what we were thinking
The white passing was done in my mom's family. Her parents escaped when they were teens from a reservation supposedly & moved to Indiana. My mom told me to keep it a secret that she was actually a Blackfoot Native American until she died because her parents had put the fear in her that if it was ever found out she'd be taken back to the reservation. When I asked her why they did that she said being a dirt poor white person was always going to be a better life than being an Indian. I've never forgotten that.
That’s basic American history though. White supremacist culture was law and everyone suffered due to their proximity to whiteness or lack thereof.
how sad she lived her life in fear. you need to verify it if you can. what a rich and proud heritage of family to have. I bet you , you would be welcomed home...let alone the fact with the percentage in you , you may be entitled to a lot of benefits as would your children..
Charlotte, my grandparents all emigrated from Austro-Hungary in the early 1900s. Their papers show their place of departure as "Transylvania," which also gave my sister, my cousins, and me a big laugh. (I used to immitate Boris Karlov 🤒 and named my first cat Zoltan.) We joke that we, too, are related to ol' Vlad. 20 years ago, I worked for a doctor and was responsible for all the phlebotomy, among other duties. Doc ordered quite a lot of blood tests for his elderly patients, which required several different tubes of blood to be drawn. When patients (that i knew well) would ask why all the tubes, I would tick off what they were for and end with "... and this one's for my lunch." I responded to their startled expressions with, "I've told you my people are from Transylvania!" 😂
We found my Dad's birth mom by a DNA test. And we also found out the man that "adopted" my Dad with his wife, was actually my Dad's REAL dad. Yes. My grandmother didn't want children. My grandfather basically had a "wife approved side piece" and got her pregnant then took my Dad with her permission. This was 1941, surrogates weren't a thing. Apparently my grandfather was ahead of his time. 😅 But it cleared up a lot of questions we had about certain pages of legal paperwork we found. My grandmother didn't remember that she kept a file..
We became really suspicious when my dad met his "cousin" that wasn't supposed to be genetically linked to him due to the fact my dad was adopted. The man could have been my Dad's twin. He even married someone that looked and acted just like my mom. That's when the secret paperwork really started making sense. Then confirmed by the DNA test.
Another story- my oldest sister was dating a guy that had a vasectomy and "wouldn't commit to her." She screwed around on him, got pregnant, and the guy actually stepped up. Flash forward 35 years, my niece STILL doesn't know. All her cousins know and won't tell her. But she is a total b*tch and treats my mom like crap. So does my sister (her mom). My mom asked me not to tell her. But she gave me permission to tell her after she passes away. 😅😅And I will. Because her and her mom are b*tches who treated my dying dad like crap and continue to treat my mom like crap. Just thinking about telling her gives me warm fuzzies.
Tell her now. That'll stop her in her tracks.