PSA - Someone threatening to harm themselves in response to you breaking up with them is a form of coercive control and emotional ab*se. Don't give in and don't put up with it. If you are genuinely concerned for their safety, notify their relatives or authorities and pass it off to them. It has nothing to do with you. And any time you give in and get involved, you are playing right into that person's plans.
Had this happen recently. I all but shoved him out the door. Literally. Byeeeee not only did he tell me it would be my fault if he took the self out route, he also told my children. (Not his). He gave the example of what he would do as the same way one of my best friend took his own. I was disgusted with this guy, my disposal mode switch turned on so fast 🤣 gtfo of my house, don’t ever consider coming back here.
Seriously, call 911. That threat is not okay and now authorities need to know and/or step in. The threat could be serious and they might be planning to take you with 'em. Don't deal with that level of crazy alone.
I actually had this happen twice and having tried to not be here in various different ways and failing I asked them how they were gonna do it. One said taking a full bottle of Tylenol. I told then that would only give them a tummy ache and to call me back if they were serious and hung up in their face. I was comfortable in doing thus because they knew I tried before, myself. 😶
Truth! Either respond that you will call the authorities or if they need help kicking the chair. Don’t fall for their bluff. People who are actually depressed and contemplating unaliving, keep that quiet and give subtle hints like, “the world would be better off without me” as a joke… it’s never a joke.
It's crazy to break into her home after six months of being apart and say, "All women are the same." That man is dangerous, so I'm pleased she survived to share the story.
My cousin was dating a guy for two whole months and he took her life in a situation like this. It’s so scary, please cut ties as soon as someone shows red flags like this!
@@mandachris7146 that’s true, and I’m very sorry that happened to you. I sincerely hope you are safe and healthy now. it’s completely unacceptable for law enforcement to ignore or minimize things like this, and I hope that will change someday
At university, I had been dating an artist for a few months, but neither one of us was too invested so I decided to break it off. He then spent the next several weeks wooing me back - handpicked flowers left at my on-campus job with a little note, sweet texts, etc. I agreed to go on another date with him - a concert at a local pub. Everything was fine and we had a good time. After that, we went back to my place where he abruptly told me that he wasn’t interested in dating and that we should go our separate ways. He literally wooed his way back into my life to be the one to dump me. #FragileMaleArtistEgo
Not often, but to the first girl, I make comments. Jeff Foxworthy said it best, sweetie. Just half of the sentence is "I need some space," with the other half being "without you in it."
I thought everyone knew “needing space” is breaking up. To be honest the girl sounds a little naive, thinking there is still a change, that they are not really broken up… Girl, stop running after that man the moment he disrespects you
@@s.a.4358 I can understand thinking spacemen are leaving a chance and just taking a time out, but when he gives you stuff back and especially (but not exclusively) does it in a disrespectful manner then it is certainly a break-up. She told a lie to the other girl when she said he hadn't broken up with her.
@@mingiinimene3335 yes that bothered me about telling the other girl they are not broken up really, because she is effectively sabotaging the other girl’s relationship. Girl, go right ahead and be mad at your ex but don’t lie. The ex didn’t behave well in the way he handles the breakup, but he also didn’t cheat or do anything that horrendous to OP.
Story 3: when in the room with a man like that sometimes it wouldn't be safe to call the police yourself. If he finds out (being that unhinged) things can go very bad. Yes you can absolutely call them and leave the call open while they gather information from your conversation with him. What I would also recommend, since she had access to her phone and was able to text her father, is warn someone, or several people, who knows your address to call the police for you so they can give the operator the info they need in a timely manner.
I like how the second person is so self aware that she even admitted that she thought the baby was hers for a split second 😂 oh lawd... she'll make a good spouse but she needs to deal with the savior complex/people pleasing minset. ❤She'll be alright😊
Hahaha...I was not actually watching, just listening. And not 100% attentively, either. I was so confused when it came to the 'pregnant' part. Like...whaaaaat??? 😭
The 2nd person was "friends' with this person for TWO YEARS and over that time, the other person 1)threatened to kill her, 2)threatened to kill her friends, 3)vandalized her car, 4)got in so many massive fights that they didn't speak for months, and OP's response is to...date her? She must be SMOOOKKKING hot.
As someone who dates women, I can tell you that this is not unusual. I'm definitely not saying every relationship is like this, or even that it's the norm, but it's for sure not a rare situation. As for the baby thing, I have zero clue haha.
Definitely I used to be that way and I stopped and my life is SO much more peaceful She should walked away when she kept threatening to end her life and called the Police But as you said she definitely has a savior complex and felt she needed to fix her ex
Amen to that. Luckily by the time you get to my age (laye 40's) you just give and not give a crap anymore. Im always there for my girls and my daughter, anyone else, nope thank you 😊
@@GlitzyWitch SO true. And then when I hit 55 I all of a sudden made the connection between "who gives a heck" to being happy with my smaller circles AND not being taken advantage of. Don't care what ppl say, think about me, etc. and in any case, if you are an a-h^%e to me, no more trying to "win them over". They don't care and actually, you make things worse BC these ppl have lots of contempt against ppl they see as "weak". THEN they slither back, for a while, when they need something. I don't have the time, patience or will.
I don’t find that to be true. Many times someone with a savior complex seeks satisfaction from saving. People pleasers often avoid confrontation. Saviors are willing to cause confrontation. Saviors will do things to displease you for your own good. Just because they do things that make you happy doesn’t mean they will if they think it will interfere with saving you. People pleasers are often pleasing people for a sense of safety and acceptance. Saviors don’t need to be accepted by you. They just need you to make them look good, for the praise they get helping, and the recognition and dependence. People pleasers lack enough self awareness to truly a knowledge that saying no isn’t a sin. Saviors will say no to you and make it seem like it’s a heart felt moment, that hurts them more than it hurts you, and then make it seem like you should be grateful. It’s always for your own good! Basically saviors are far more manipulative, gaslighting, and will seek sympathy for your behavior towards them. Anything that brings attention back onto them and how HELPFUL, and COMPASSIONATE, and THOUGHTFUL. People pleaser can be all those things and are afraid of being considered otherwise.
I am such an “I need space” kind of person. Sometimes people are just too much. Sometimes life is just too much. Sometimes I feel like I’m too much. And sometimes I need space means I need space. It doesn’t always mean there’s another person on the side and I’m keeping you on the hook. Some people are genuine. Some people genuinely need some space.
my husband knows if I tell him I need some alone time that's exactly what it means lol. idk I guess it would depend on the person? but I def agree with you
It's all about the framing and vernacular used when telling someone you need space to decompress, recharge, and become centered again. We all need to fill our own cups before filling the cups of others. ♥
But in a relationship ,when you ask for that and go no contact it is obvious. I have a friend who asked for space, but would still check on her bf and he'd check on her too, and when the time was right they came back. later on they broke up, when you realise you're not that bad on your own you know. It is a dangerous space for couples I guess.
I agree, Charlotte. I would also be devastated if I had fumbled girl #3. Breaking in is so scary though. She did the right thing to play along and keep him calm as long as possible
Wow! I feel like an idiot. My ex did the same as story 1 after 2 years together and I just moved on. One of the reasons he gave was, "you are not a vegetarian", I was like "It took you 2 years to realise that?!"
We had a friend in a relationship where he was a twat, they broke up, we'd be sympathetic, they'd get back together ad nauseum, so we decided to just not react, not be dramatic and sympathetic etc, and funnily enough, when we stopped reacting, she stopped going back to him.
I’m skirt girl#1 but what part of his (admittedly half-assed) giving your stuff back to you and moving away, weeks after telling you he needed space, was not breaking up with you. He broke up with you as soon as his life improved, as soon as his mom driving up to take care of him and telling his mom whatever led her to say he broke your heart. I can understand he never said those exact words to you but all those mealy mouthed avoidance of the words add up to the same thing.
I was at the doctor's today. Leaving, there was a happy couple on the elevator, holding their sonogram picture. Every one smiled and congratulated them. I said, if I could borrow that, I could freak my husband out! Everyone laughed. I'm 68.
@@lotstodo It’s things like this that make me love getting older. I am excited for all seasons of life and I bet that one will be so incredible! I’m glad you have such a great sense of humor, it reminds me of my grandma and that is so amazing. ❤
I had a stalker ex once... our relationship seemed amazing at first. He took me out on fun dates, surprised me with small gifts like flowers and chocolates, he loved showing me off and generally treated me like a queen. We didn't fight, he didn't take my bad moods personally, we never disagreed..... ever. He liked what I liked, listened to the same music and had the same ideas... I realized he was worshiping me, and not in a cute way. Trying to explain to a friend but I couldn't quite paint the picture for them. Later when the 3 of us were hanging out I mentioned that white chocolate is the best chocolate and bf strongly agrees. A few minutes pass and I mentioned how dark chocolate is hands down the best chocolate and bf strongly agrees again!. Finally I had someone witness on a small scale what I was talking about. I slowly realized over the next few weeks that I was dating a fake male version of myself and it was plain creepy. I realized I never knew him and he never really tried to know me. He tried to be me to make me like him and it worked for a while lol. I broke it off and that's when the stalking began. Following me everywhere literally begging me to be with him. Hiding behind my backyard fence, waiting for me to get out of school (he already graduated) and showing up at MY friend's houses who already didn't like him before I knew him.....That was a good 15 years or so ago. I still sometimes wonder who tf he actually was inside that handsome head of his.
I am so sorry for what you went through. Watch the Seinfeld episode where Jerry did the same thing, dating a female version of himself. However, he broke up with her BC he realized "I hate myself so why date a female copy?".
i feel like "i need space" is a thing where you need to read the room. if someones mother just died or you have been more obsessive than usual in stressful times, it might be legit, if someone has a clear head and just says that, youre not the one for them
Story 1: He met this other girl when he went on his trip. Story 2: The last time I checked you need a male and female to create a baby. Story 3: Did she ever call the police? I would have called the police and pressed charges. She was VERY lucky he just walked out without hurting her at all. These exes are UNHINGED!
3:25 for those who are autistic. When u say u need space and u mean word for word that u need space…then it means u need space. There’s no hidden meaning or agenda. Sometimes people (me) just mean they need a little space.
@@katiechisholm it's super inappropriate for her to not have respected his request for space & she just showed up. Then after finding out they're legit broken up she is holding out hope & stalking him as well as his new gf. Not saying dude is a saint but she sounds more unhinged than naive. I think we tend to dismiss abusive behavior from girls vs guys. Had a guy done all that it would be deemed dangerous and scary.
The last girl acted so calm in that situation with the ex breaking into her home and basically holding her hostage! I’m so glad she’s ok and lived the tell the story!! 😭
For me, space did not mean break-up. It meant i was being love-bombed, and i needed time to process. The refusal to give space was almost a deal breaker.
Same. I was having some problems with depression and asked for a few months space so I could get help, and he never stopped trying to make me feel sorry for him and go back
For some people with depression or anxiety or trauma or something like that "needing space" is perhaps there's an episode going on or something happened that you need to think about or maybe you just got into the relationship and the relationship is going way too fast for you and you need to slow down so that you don't break down or something close. A relationship isn't built on constant physical closeness, and it's fine to have a little bit of time apart, be that not talking to each other for a little bit or not seeing each other for a few days. If anything, it shows your trust in that person and can develop more of your trust in that person by showing they can respect your boundaries and mental health. Although, this isn't always the case. Some people use "needing some space" as a reason to break up with people, which is valid as well if they find they weren't as ready for the or a relationship as they thought they were. This is what makes it confusing. So, it's probably best to ask which version on "needing some space" that person needs beforehand. They may get irritated in some cases, but it really is a crucial thing you need to know, so don't let it stop you from asking.
I will always believe the saying to not help people while in a relationship with them… most times they are with you because you’re all they can get at the moment.. place holder.
The insane toxic guy who broke into her house...that was actually a really really scary dangerous situation. I'm glad she's alive and I hope he never bothers her again.
Damn I thought “I need some space” just meant exactly that 😅 I didn’t realize we we’re _supposed_ to read into things that usually gets me in trouble 😂
As someone whose parents divorced in part because one really wanted pets and the other really didn't, YES that is a legit reason to break up, lol. Same as when one wants kids and the other doesn't.
This is kinda wild. But the more I think of the hassle our pets have been in our marriage…😂😂😂 We are at the point where even I (with my abandonment issues) believe we will be married forever. We just celebrated a decade and he finally broke down and let me get a cat. So I can imagine how this would affect marriages.
"that didn't really break up with me" girrrrrl. He most certainly did break up with you. Sending you a picture of your crap on the floor of an entryway .. that's pretty damn clear.
Nah, “needing space” is not a break up. Not in my eyes, sorry. Unless you explicitly tell me “I think we should break up, I don’t want to be with you anymore”.. something along those lines, we’re not broken up. If my boyfriend/husband/whatever were to say “I just need some space” then all I’m giving you is a little bit of space.
I do feel it depends on the context. Sometimes people have other stuff going on in their lives, that they have to deal with. But at the very least there has to be an explanation and some sort of assurance, that the other person really does want to pursue the relationship further. And preferably some sort of timeline. Like 'when my exams are over' or such. I think, to someone with some life experience, the difference between that and a person just being a coward or dishonest is usually obvious. Just maybe less so to someone young and newly in love.
I agree. Some people may have avoidant attachment issues and space is how they regulate their emotions. The caveat being that they should ask for a time out in a heated discussion properly, picking things up where they were left, or asking politely. For longer term space, acknowledge that it might scare your partner and just reassure them you're trying to center yourself or whatever it is your Healthy Space alone is actually for. It really does depend on the context tho. It doesn't mean they aren't just trying to back away slowly and are too much of a wimp to be clear and emotionally available, avoidant attachment or not. People really do need to develop their EIQ to do things properly.
I have said this, actually recently, and I really meant that I needed space. I love being alone and I need my time to recharge (I am very introverted and my partner was extroverted) he said he understood, but he would get mad every time I needed some alone time. He was always around me to the point I didn't even know ME anymore....but my point is I asked for space and only wanted space.
I agree- when I was 18 I had a bf and to keep a long story short it wasn’t going very well. I told him that I needed some space and i MEANT space- I still fully considered us to be in a relationship. Now, after like a week of having space between us I realized how much better my life was and how much happier I was without him so I officially broke up with him.
Story 3 - Scary!!! Be careful, these are the guys who end up in prison for unaliving their partner. She was telling the story all cutesy but I'm sure this has caused her a lot of stress. Get a restraining order and set some boundaries. Unfortunately, I wasted my good years on these types of men. Don't do what I did and educate yourself on red flags and narcissistic behavior. It's easier to spot one and stay away then learn the hard way because they will not leave you alone. Love you Charlotte and fellow potatoes!!!
ALSO learn what you need to get an OOP where you live. For example, on Long Island, you need to call the police BC you need at least a police report. Sometimes the police can do it but other times, you have to take the report to the court house. The specialty court then has a prosecutor at the courtroom door to SW you, answer questions, help you along, etc. I also used my walker-needed it after the assault that messed up my existing disabilities anyway, and put my 70 year old roomie dying of panc cancer in ICU, although earlier in the day can use the cane.
NOT THE HAZMAT SUIT AND POTATO!!!! Love that!!! That had me in stitches!!!! To the lesbian baby daddy...you are a good person...I am sorry you went through it!!!
I'm straight and if someone send me a scan and said it was mine I'd panic for a second too😂 I'd be like wtf I don't remember that did I have too much to drink that weekend?!?!😂
I’m the queen of genius: I once answered the phone to my bf side piece and made out I was the roommates gf and she spilt the tea on how she met my bf blah blah 😂 oh the story’s I can tell
@ oh well he goes I told her that it was so good to hear that Antony (my bf) was getting out because he was a bit of a introvert and how she was really doing him a favour , oh she was lapping the attention, so I couldn’t help but ask how they had met and how long they had been seeing each other, she told me it has been a few months and they had met at a nightclub, all the time I was congratulating her for bringing him out of his shell. Anyway it turned out he met her on the same night I was out at a funfair trying to win him a pink panther I ended up paying for. I confronted him the following night and he was stumped, he just wanted to know how I found out…. I’m in my 50s now and outsmarted every man since who has tried to manipulate me…… the time I out smarted a romance scammers desperate need for cash with monopoly is another story xxxx
Since pregnancy is counted from one's last period, you actually conceived 4 weeks ago if you're 6 weeks pregnant. Gestational age is also a good guess unless it's with IVF (since the doctor would then know exactly when everything happened) Although it would be crazy for someone to conceive maybe a day after they broke up with someone. What incredible timing with both ovulation and finding someone to sleep with so fast
They can be off by up to two weeks in the first ultrasounds. Even if they are correct about exact time of conception, it actually can be wrong about when you actually had sex because sperm can survive up to 7 days so up to another week from when you actually did have sex you could ovulate and become pregnant. It is pretty interesting though they have a combination of measurements and looking at the organs through ultrasound that actually can turn the estimated date into actual date as they can figure actual gestational age through ultrasound. I had to have an ultrasound when I went into premature labor where they were able to confirm for sure I was 26 weeks. They do this if they can to be fully prepared for all the needs and possible complications if they do have to deliver prematurely.
If this is about the lesbian couple. There is NO way she could be connected to the baby in any way shape or form unless she donated the egg to be implanted in the other woman.
The second girl is so smart and she knows and knew when it happened it wasn’t good but had to see it thru knowing it would end in total disaster I give her cuddos for trying knowing it would be bad 🤣 ❤
06:58 PREACH IT CHARLOTTE! My ex-fiance that i was with for 10 years said stuff like that when he suddenly "wanted space" and kept me hanging for months! I am so thankful i snapped back with "But all these things were like that from the beginning?! how is this an issue when we were together HAPPILY for 10 YEARS!?" he broke up with me after over a year (and, i kid you not, on our anniversary!) and i told him he'll regret it. But it was for the best, or at least my best, as I was breaking my back for him. About a year later i met my current boyfriend who is treating me so much better! We're together for 4+ years now and he still smiles when i enter the room and tells me how happy he is to have me, every day. About a year after the break up, my ex told me that i was right and it was a stupid reason. He had a couple relationships after but nothing lasted. So i see it as his loss, not mine. If you dont treasure what you have, then you dont deserve it.
I agree that he was an asshole for keeping you hanging for a year, and for the anniversary, and for coming back after. But that doesn't mean everyone who break up after 10 years is necessarily wrong either. Sometimes people change it they want different things at different stages of life. Not everyone regrets it
As a bi woman I fully understand the moment of “wait… is that… no wait that can’t be mine” 😂 Is it illogical? Yes! But the brain is a ten pound ball of protein jelly afflicted by lightning, so it’s not always inclined to logic!
Actually, for me, not loving cats was a deal breaker, and I made sure to find out in the first date or two. Luckily, my husband was as much of a cat lover as I am, and it's been 32 years, and we have never been without cats in our lives. :)
My boyfriend didn't really want a cat but didn't hate it either. That was enough for me, since I would take care and love on the feline baby. Now he's the cutest cat dad who sends me selfies and updates with/about the cat every single hour. The only time I have seen him cry in 8 years was when our cat suddenly died of a heart attack. 2 months later he was out walking the streets trying to find a cat through the cat distribution system, as he was lonely during gaming. He really grew to be the cutest cat lover 😊
@@EchoSappho LOL, at 31, I just knew that I wasn't willing to compromise--and with someone who was meh on them, there would always be the chance they might not want them later. For me, it was a total dealbreaker (as was smoking--absolutely no smoking). I only have a few dealbreakers, but those two were at the top, along with two others.
@@discolizard712 are there *cat cafes* in your area? How about cat rescues or no kill shelters? They always need volunteers. Even if you didn't have a lot of time to volunteer, they always need food, toys, blankets(can be found at thrift stores) and dropping off supplies doesn't take up a lot of time. I'd bet this would put you in touch with other folks who love cats. 🐈⬛
3:26 Most of the time, if someone says they need space or they want to take a break, they want to break up with you but they want to you stay single and available for them in case they change their mind. Unless your partner has complete transparency with you and good communication and tells you that they don't want to break up, they genuinely just need space, then assume it's a break up.
A trail of “how much trouble can I get myself into by ignoring red flags?” For the saviours out there - as soon as you get the merest whiff of a sad story, go straight to the bathroom, call an uber, vomit loudly, get proper snotty and teary, rub the mascara around a bit, rejoin your date and tell them how ill you are, it must be contagious. No, no, no need for them to take you home. If they keep talking cough, spill the wine, sneeze on them. Uber arrives, the face wipe takes care of the mess and you head off to a girlfriend’s who can take your phone away for a week and unfriend and unfollow him/her for you! No getting pulled in to a sob or trauma tale.
@@tcf_iceland The kind who would "red wine" someone who showed up at our wedding in white, esp with lace and other wedding dress style touches. When your friend marries the right person, add in crazy dancing to celebrate!
Kneel down so I can knight you in the name of friendship. I dub thee, Dame Dorothy Evans. May you protect your land well and serve bravely until your last breath.⚔
Thank you so much, Charlotte you don’t know how badly I needed a video from you today. My dad was diagnosed with cancer this weekend and it’s been a really hard time on our family and you made me smile for the first time in a while and I thank you for that.
Now this how I wanna start my day ❤ love you Charlotte. You and Mike gave me alot of hope, and I recently found my dream man that accepts and loves me as much as Mike loves you. Thanks for cheering me up during the hard times
I hope that someday they develop a system that would allow you to text 911. I was in extremely scary situations with an abusive ex and if he knew I was calling the police I guarantee I would've been dead before they got there. Calling the cops openly can be a dire situation in some cases.
In the UK we can text 999 (emergency services) if we can’t make a voice call. I’m pretty sure a lot of places in America have the capability to text emergency services too (not sure how widely it’s available though state to state)
Well, lucky for you, that someday already happened. Granted, it can depend on where you are, but you can absolutely text emergency services for this very reason.
after Pickle said that about the UK, I checked it out in the states. Yes we have it, unfortunately it only covers 54% of the country. Yes, very glad to be out of that situation. 🤗
In some places, you can text 911. I believe it's called enhanced 911. Usually, it's in more populous areas. It was developed partially in response to the Virginia Tech mass shooting when students tried texting 911 for help.
2nd story- OP is as much a dumpster fire as the crazy girl. OK! you are friends for 2 years and during those 2 years the girl as threatened to alive you, your family, and friends. Then a "friend" says to you " You should give it a chance dating her because you are the only one that likes her"
It really is heartless 💔 I don't understand how people can fake a relationship,( I hope that's the right word) I've had that happen too and it didn't feel good at all. I can't even fake liking someone, let alone a romantic relationship. ~I'm not mean if I don't like someone, I just avoid them~ After alot of growth, I end it the first ick I get if we haven't been talking long ❤ I hope you find someone wonderful ❤
This advice may or may not help you: once I abandoned the "I don't chase I attract" "I only talk to guys who message first" whole rhetoric, I found those were the shittiest guys and the guy I actively chased turns out to be the sweetest, kindest most amazing guy I could ask for.
3:23 okay maybe don't encourage people to not take a person at their word. Yes, there are liars like the boy in the story, but my goodness - no means no, yes means yes, and I need a little space can mean I need a little space. I know I've been that person where I needed to step back and reassess myself in the situation and then come back and communicate more. A little space can actually be the healthiest thing for your relationship especially codependent ones
As a 30 year old women who’s been through the ringer with relationships in my early years… I need space always meant “I need space to be with other people but I’m telling you that I need space and not just ending it with you because I need you here when I decide to come back” I encourage people to listen to their gut, because you definitely cannot always take a person at their word.
@Maiden_to_mother a gut reaction is a gut reaction but you know that's what therapy is for. I am also a ~30-year-old except I'm a trans man who has been through the ringer as well. Married, divorced, single parent, now is polyamorous and loving life and guess what! Sometimes, people aren't lying to your face. It just depends on the crowd you choose. I trust my gut and it has never steered me wrong but I know if I was not willing to trust my partner to give them space then something is so off (in my head or not) that the relationship probably isn't worth it. That's at least something I learned from my experience
The only time we see people sitting in someone's home, alone, in the dark for hours waiting for them, it's the villain. So why would the last guy be like, "Imma do that and get her to love me again."
Good morning petty potatoes! 4am here in Australia and was just about to go to sleep, instead I’ll just be here watching this new video by our Petty Queen ❤️❤️❤️
I dunno, my partner and I were living together in this shoebox studio. We talked for a while and decided that we both needed space, so I moved out. But this never meant we were broken up. This was years ago. we are still together today and bought a house together. I think you have to be clear in a break up and be an adult and have a true conversation about it if you want to break up…
Yeah idk why the dude seemed so annoyed by her when he didn't even tell her directly. Well actually I do know, because I knew a guy similar to this many years ago, just wanted a pretty girl to take to parties but he didn't actually like me at all. His loss because he has the shittiest personality on the planet 😂😂 so good luck finding anyone else
19:26 🎯 i dont want to hear about it anymore is totally correct! If it keeps happening how i said it would, they keep going back and it repeats over and over and over - leave me alone & out of it 😂🤦🏻♀️ ill be waiting over there to help you when you finally realize what a ding dong youve been thinking it was going to change!
@jasonellis4330 facts! Lol, but she can't get someone pregnant. It's a little different 🤣 but I was more talking about the chick that tried to say the baby was hers. She must think she's real stupid to try and pull that
That last one was whacked! Why she didn’t call the cops instead of her stepdad is crazy! She was way too calm telling that story too and saying she’s had lots of crazy stuff happening to her in the past 🫣
That Cullen reminds me quite distinctly of anecdotes I’ve studied about sex offenders who broke into the survivor’s house and actually got surprised: “Oh, am I hurting you?” Absolute disconnect from reality with the entitlement!
As a butch…, I get the split second “wait, mine??” Without getting into the nitty gritty of it, butch/stud and femme relationships have a dynamic. Sometimes femmes forget we cis women got periods too. It’s a whole thing. (Have yet to hear about the pregnancy thing though. 😭😭) On the flipside, without getting too explicit, there’s a lot with packing, how intercourse goes, stones (slang, not a literal rock), etc. It’s dumb but also a bit complicated. Lol
On being a friend of someone who's in an on/off relationship: I give my friends two times to complain about a problem they are capable of fixing. After that they don't get to gripe about it anymore. Period. It's a hard boundary. I've literally had people drift away because they can't come to me and vent about fixable problems anymore and that was their entire personality.
Even though I haven’t been in a relationship, for the first story I can understand the confusion. To me I need space means you’re overwhelmed and stressed and need to clear your mind. It’s a break. If you want to end the relationship, you need to be clear and say that in order for there to be clear communication, just say you want to break up so there is no misunderstanding or miscommunication. If not then I’m confused and will not understand.
If ANYONE uses unaliving themselves as a threat to keep you trapped. Then let them. You should NEVER tolerate someone manipulating you like that. They really gonna unalive themselves if you break up with them? Then let them go ahead. 100% of the time, they don't. Because it's a scare tactic, and a disgusting one at that. The amount of men that told me they would unalive themselves if I broke up with them, are still alive to this day. Don't let people manipulate you like this. Ever.
I"m in the "call the police, 100% of the time" camp. Either they're serious and get the help they need or they aren't and they learn that homie don't play that.
I was in a long distance relationship w/a man (in his 40s…) who pulled that card out of his emotional abuse deck & it was the straw that broke my camel’s back. I said, Go ahead, I don’t care. And hung up. He’d already tried crying hysterically into the phone, dropping the phone to go vomit from stress, etc, & I was so absolutely done with his antics. Of course, he did not unalive himself.
I had someone say they needed space because he and his MOM thought he wasn't ready for a relationship yet. 6 weeks later, he comes back and says he's ready now and we can get back together. I told him NO, not happening. And for the next several years, he'd find my social dating profiles every now and then and message me to tell me how I was the one that got away. We dated for 5 weeks total before the "break" 🙄
As a animal lover. It is definitely something we have to agree upon. If we happen to get to the point of moving in together. They need to know my animals are coming with me and I'm a Beast sooooo.😅
Cool Animal Story: Husband can take or leave animals but despises litter boxes so we don’t have a cat. But I told him if I ever get cancer he has to allow me to have a cat because they are healing. Well, about two years ago my neighbors outdoor cat that I’ve known his whole life (he won’t stay inside) started coming over every day and I would hang out in my garage and hold him. Turns out I had cancer that whole time (had a lump but doctor said it was normal perimenopausal breast changes) and I think he somehow knew it. I honestly believe he stopped the cancer from spreading because my oncologist said it should have metastasized in that time. I didn’t need chemo OR radiation and it was only in one lymph node with an oncotype score of NINE. It was unheard of. He still hasn’t left lol If you wanna see him (Mr Peep) he is on my channel in the Pizza Cat video and I think one other one. Animals are life!!
@@NunyaNomi Wow. Oddly, that kinda correlates with my Mom. Diagnosed with breast cancer, had several cuddly cats, when they operated, the lump was smaller than expected and no underlying muscle involvement. Surprised her surgeon no end. 25+ year survivor when she passed a few years ago. {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You don’t even have to call. You say the right thing Siri will pick up on it. I was singing lyrics and she decided she was about to call the police LOL
Ex-saviour complex sufferer. We have to separate not judging someone and accepting said personal's in your inner circle. I just say in my mind, "I'm not judging them, but they don't meet my personal standard for myself".
PSA - Someone threatening to harm themselves in response to you breaking up with them is a form of coercive control and emotional ab*se. Don't give in and don't put up with it. If you are genuinely concerned for their safety, notify their relatives or authorities and pass it off to them. It has nothing to do with you. And any time you give in and get involved, you are playing right into that person's plans.
Had this happen recently. I all but shoved him out the door. Literally. Byeeeee not only did he tell me it would be my fault if he took the self out route, he also told my children. (Not his). He gave the example of what he would do as the same way one of my best friend took his own. I was disgusted with this guy, my disposal mode switch turned on so fast 🤣 gtfo of my house, don’t ever consider coming back here.
Seriously, call 911. That threat is not okay and now authorities need to know and/or step in. The threat could be serious and they might be planning to take you with 'em. Don't deal with that level of crazy alone.
I actually had this happen twice and having tried to not be here in various different ways and failing I asked them how they were gonna do it. One said taking a full bottle of Tylenol. I told then that would only give them a tummy ache and to call me back if they were serious and hung up in their face. I was comfortable in doing thus because they knew I tried before, myself. 😶
Can confirm. My ex did this CONSTANTLY and I felt so guilty so Id just go right back. (It was an abusive relationship and she was a sociopath)
Truth! Either respond that you will call the authorities or if they need help kicking the chair. Don’t fall for their bluff.
People who are actually depressed and contemplating unaliving, keep that quiet and give subtle hints like, “the world would be better off without me” as a joke… it’s never a joke.
It's crazy to break into her home after six months of being apart and say, "All women are the same." That man is dangerous, so I'm pleased she survived to share the story.
I really hoped she contacted the police afterwards
I'm sorry... did she say he had a... pew pew?? What in the hell....
My cousin was dating a guy for two whole months and he took her life in a situation like this. It’s so scary, please cut ties as soon as someone shows red flags like this!
@@fionacalou11303they don’t always help and your life can be in more danger. Speaking as someone who woken up in a hospital for calling the cops.
@@mandachris7146 that’s true, and I’m very sorry that happened to you. I sincerely hope you are safe and healthy now. it’s completely unacceptable for law enforcement to ignore or minimize things like this, and I hope that will change someday
🎶"I have an egg, you have an egg, together the eggs are just two eggs"🎶
🤣😂
My new favorite song.
Too funny 😂
I choked on food😂😂😂
😂🪺
Song of the year😂
"We need space" means he wants to keep her on the backburner in case it doesn't work out with the new girl.
YUP
At university, I had been dating an artist for a few months, but neither one of us was too invested so I decided to break it off. He then spent the next several weeks wooing me back - handpicked flowers left at my on-campus job with a little note, sweet texts, etc. I agreed to go on another date with him - a concert at a local pub. Everything was fine and we had a good time. After that, we went back to my place where he abruptly told me that he wasn’t interested in dating and that we should go our separate ways. He literally wooed his way back into my life to be the one to dump me. #FragileMaleArtistEgo
Did you laugh at his face after?
So glad that you didn’t get saddled with this baggage!!!
😂😂
That’s psychotic! May he be lonely and single for eternity!!
What the hell?! I'm so sorry he did that to you. What a prick
The baby trapping one just had me hearing Jeff Goldblum say "nature finds a way" 😂😂😂😂
✨Jeff Goldblum✨
Just for future reference bestie 😊 He is absolutely fantastic
@rachaelxcolleen what happens when you type and don't check the autocorrect before you press send! 🤣🤣
@@tracisr LOL Happens to the best of us
Love Jeff Goldblum....Watched "Jurassic Park" becuase of Jeff Goldblum him....."Nature finds a way"
Not often, but to the first girl, I make comments. Jeff Foxworthy said it best, sweetie. Just half of the sentence is "I need some space," with the other half being "without you in it."
That is a really good way to put it.
Or "We will live in harmony as long you stay away from me!"
I thought everyone knew “needing space” is breaking up.
To be honest the girl sounds a little naive, thinking there is still a change, that they are not really broken up… Girl, stop running after that man the moment he disrespects you
@@s.a.4358 I can understand thinking spacemen are leaving a chance and just taking a time out, but when he gives you stuff back and especially (but not exclusively) does it in a disrespectful manner then it is certainly a break-up. She told a lie to the other girl when she said he hadn't broken up with her.
@@mingiinimene3335 yes that bothered me about telling the other girl they are not broken up really, because she is effectively sabotaging the other girl’s relationship. Girl, go right ahead and be mad at your ex but don’t lie. The ex didn’t behave well in the way he handles the breakup, but he also didn’t cheat or do anything that horrendous to OP.
Story 3: when in the room with a man like that sometimes it wouldn't be safe to call the police yourself. If he finds out (being that unhinged) things can go very bad. Yes you can absolutely call them and leave the call open while they gather information from your conversation with him. What I would also recommend, since she had access to her phone and was able to text her father, is warn someone, or several people, who knows your address to call the police for you so they can give the operator the info they need in a timely manner.
In some places you can actually text 911 now, for situations like this. Pretty neat
That being said (because you are 100% right), you can always try texting 911 for this precise reason.
@@kbundyy22Ah man. You beat me to it. 🫠
@@slsthewriter1299 Or calling and asking for a pizza.
I like how the second person is so self aware that she even admitted that she thought the baby was hers for a split second 😂 oh lawd... she'll make a good spouse but she needs to deal with the savior complex/people pleasing minset. ❤She'll be alright😊
Right?! And her energy in general is just so attractive. I feel so bad that she went through this.
How is thinking the impossible is possible meaning someone is “so self aware”?
The one where the dude broke in, her response is called fawning. "Please the perpetrators to keep yourself safe."
I knew there was another F!
Yes! Fight, flight, freeze and fawn. That’s what I do, pretend everything is good, be super agreeable until I can get away.
The second story had me scratching my head because the pregnant ex is unhinged to say it’s her ex girlfriend’s child 😂
Yeah that got me real confused!
That's how much of a stud they are! 😅
Omg me too I’m like wait a second
I was at a loss cuz I was like okay maybe OP is trans?? But no, ex is just insane 😅
Hahaha...I was not actually watching, just listening. And not 100% attentively, either. I was so confused when it came to the 'pregnant' part. Like...whaaaaat??? 😭
The 2nd person was "friends' with this person for TWO YEARS and over that time, the other person 1)threatened to kill her, 2)threatened to kill her friends, 3)vandalized her car, 4)got in so many massive fights that they didn't speak for months, and OP's response is to...date her?
She must be SMOOOKKKING hot.
Or, the saviour complex is strong
As someone who dates women, I can tell you that this is not unusual. I'm definitely not saying every relationship is like this, or even that it's the norm, but it's for sure not a rare situation.
As for the baby thing, I have zero clue haha.
Nobody is that hot. This person needs therapy as much as the person he's saying has mental health issues.
Second person: savior complex goes hand in hand with being a people pleaser. And it almost always ends in disaster.
Definitely I used to be that way and I stopped and my life is SO much more peaceful
She should walked away when she kept threatening to end her life and called the Police
But as you said she definitely has a savior complex and felt she needed to fix her ex
Amen to that. Luckily by the time you get to my age (laye 40's) you just give and not give a crap anymore. Im always there for my girls and my daughter, anyone else, nope thank you 😊
@@GlitzyWitch SO true. And then when I hit 55 I all of a sudden made the connection between "who gives a heck" to being happy with my smaller circles AND not being taken advantage of. Don't care what ppl say, think about me, etc. and in any case, if you are an a-h^%e to me, no more trying to "win them over". They don't care and actually, you make things worse BC these ppl have lots of contempt against ppl they see as "weak". THEN they slither back, for a while, when they need something. I don't have the time, patience or will.
I don’t find that to be true. Many times someone with a savior complex seeks satisfaction from saving. People pleasers often avoid confrontation. Saviors are willing to cause confrontation.
Saviors will do things to displease you for your own good. Just because they do things that make you happy doesn’t mean they will if they think it will interfere with saving you.
People pleasers are often pleasing people for a sense of safety and acceptance.
Saviors don’t need to be accepted by you. They just need you to make them look good, for the praise they get helping, and the recognition and dependence.
People pleasers lack enough self awareness to truly a knowledge that saying no isn’t a sin.
Saviors will say no to you and make it seem like it’s a heart felt moment, that hurts them more than it hurts you, and then make it seem like you should be grateful. It’s always for your own good!
Basically saviors are far more manipulative, gaslighting, and will seek sympathy for your behavior towards them. Anything that brings attention back onto them and how HELPFUL, and COMPASSIONATE, and THOUGHTFUL.
People pleaser can be all those things and are afraid of being considered otherwise.
It did for Jesus. Why do we think we will succeed where He didn't. The people needing saving always respond the worst.😂
I am such an “I need space” kind of person. Sometimes people are just too much. Sometimes life is just too much. Sometimes I feel like I’m too much. And sometimes I need space means I need space. It doesn’t always mean there’s another person on the side and I’m keeping you on the hook. Some people are genuine. Some people genuinely need some space.
my husband knows if I tell him I need some alone time that's exactly what it means lol. idk I guess it would depend on the person? but I def agree with you
It's all about the framing and vernacular used when telling someone you need space to decompress, recharge, and become centered again. We all need to fill our own cups before filling the cups of others. ♥
Say you need alone time.
But in a relationship ,when you ask for that and go no contact it is obvious. I have a friend who asked for space, but would still check on her bf and he'd check on her too, and when the time was right they came back. later on they broke up, when you realise you're not that bad on your own you know. It is a dangerous space for couples I guess.
I do tell my partner I need alone time sometimes. Only because I need a min sometimes
Not me watching this in 2x speed so I can finish before the board meeting, knowing full well I will rewatch on normal speed later 😎
Well you need something to think about during the meeting. Makes total sense to me, bestie.
I always do 1.25 as a standard lol. Glad it’s not just me
@@SammyLammy1D someone being silly
You are…a golden potato!!!!!! Cheers to the ride or dies 😂
I just tried this, but accidentally slowed to half speed instead of 1.5. I didn't know slowing it down was an option. It's a lot funnier in slo-mo 😂
I agree, Charlotte. I would also be devastated if I had fumbled girl #3. Breaking in is so scary though. She did the right thing to play along and keep him calm as long as possible
I love that Charlotte can freely scream now but I do miss naked man and the neighbors who vacuumed and hammered 😂😂😂
Her facial expressions with Naked Man™️ 😂
I miss naked guy too!!😍
I miss naked man updates 😂😂 the old days
Yesss
I miss naked man tooooo!
Wow! I feel like an idiot. My ex did the same as story 1 after 2 years together and I just moved on. One of the reasons he gave was, "you are not a vegetarian", I was like "It took you 2 years to realise that?!"
😮
We had a friend in a relationship where he was a twat, they broke up, we'd be sympathetic, they'd get back together ad nauseum, so we decided to just not react, not be dramatic and sympathetic etc, and funnily enough, when we stopped reacting, she stopped going back to him.
I’m skirt girl#1 but what part of his (admittedly half-assed) giving your stuff back to you and moving away, weeks after telling you he needed space, was not breaking up with you. He broke up with you as soon as his life improved, as soon as his mom driving up to take care of him and telling his mom whatever led her to say he broke your heart. I can understand he never said those exact words to you but all those mealy mouthed avoidance of the words add up to the same thing.
“Together there is just two eggs” LOL .. me picturing two eggs hanging out like “hi” - “hey” … “huh, not much we can do here is there?”
I animated this in my head. Thank you for that. 😂
I’m pregnant, it’s yours.😂😂😂 The science isn’t sciencing there.
I was at the doctor's today. Leaving, there was a happy couple on the elevator, holding their sonogram picture. Every one smiled and congratulated them. I said, if I could borrow that, I could freak my husband out! Everyone laughed. I'm 68.
😂😂😂😂 this story made my head hurt. I was genuinely confused. Her level of manipulation is diabolical 😳😂😂😂
😂😂😂
Crack is a hell of a drug
@@lotstodo It’s things like this that make me love getting older. I am excited for all seasons of life and I bet that one will be so incredible! I’m glad you have such a great sense of humor, it reminds me of my grandma and that is so amazing. ❤
1st one was in total denial! He was done when he said he needed his space. Period.
I had a stalker ex once... our relationship seemed amazing at first. He took me out on fun dates, surprised me with small gifts like flowers and chocolates, he loved showing me off and generally treated me like a queen. We didn't fight, he didn't take my bad moods personally, we never disagreed..... ever. He liked what I liked, listened to the same music and had the same ideas... I realized he was worshiping me, and not in a cute way. Trying to explain to a friend but I couldn't quite paint the picture for them. Later when the 3 of us were hanging out I mentioned that white chocolate is the best chocolate and bf strongly agrees. A few minutes pass and I mentioned how dark chocolate is hands down the best chocolate and bf strongly agrees again!. Finally I had someone witness on a small scale what I was talking about. I slowly realized over the next few weeks that I was dating a fake male version of myself and it was plain creepy. I realized I never knew him and he never really tried to know me. He tried to be me to make me like him and it worked for a while lol. I broke it off and that's when the stalking began. Following me everywhere literally begging me to be with him. Hiding behind my backyard fence, waiting for me to get out of school (he already graduated) and showing up at MY friend's houses who already didn't like him before I knew him.....That was a good 15 years or so ago. I still sometimes wonder who tf he actually was inside that handsome head of his.
I am so sorry for what you went through. Watch the Seinfeld episode where Jerry did the same thing, dating a female version of himself. However, he broke up with her BC he realized "I hate myself so why date a female copy?".
Fight, flight, fawn, or freeze. She went into fawn mode for survival. Gah, that's terrifying!
I knew i was forgetting a F
i feel like "i need space" is a thing where you need to read the room. if someones mother just died or you have been more obsessive than usual in stressful times, it might be legit, if someone has a clear head and just says that, youre not the one for them
Story 1: He met this other girl when he went on his trip. Story 2: The last time I checked you need a male and female to create a baby. Story 3: Did she ever call the police? I would have called the police and pressed charges. She was VERY lucky he just walked out without hurting her at all.
These exes are UNHINGED!
Ok Captain obvious 🤣
@@kublakhan2342rudeness has no place in the potato army.
@@CookieMonster0w0I agree
@@kublakhan2342 Lol there are some out there who don't understand biology and want to say something different.
Yeah that third story bring back some unpleasant memories
3:25 for those who are autistic. When u say u need space and u mean word for word that u need space…then it means u need space. There’s no hidden meaning or agenda. Sometimes people (me) just mean they need a little space.
The first girl is pretty and seems so kind, she deserves better!!
P.S. guys relax it’s not that deep 😂😂
Yeah, I hope she and the “replacement” became besties
@@caljones I hope so too!!
Lmao, the 1st girl is nuts, a stalker & proof that there are always two sides to every story. It's obvious she's a stage 5 clinger.
@@AylaCroftpossible, but I think she’s just young and naive. She’ll learn.
@@katiechisholm it's super inappropriate for her to not have respected his request for space & she just showed up. Then after finding out they're legit broken up she is holding out hope & stalking him as well as his new gf. Not saying dude is a saint but she sounds more unhinged than naive. I think we tend to dismiss abusive behavior from girls vs guys. Had a guy done all that it would be deemed dangerous and scary.
I didn't know that I needed Charlotte's jingle, 🎶 "I have an egg. You have an egg. Together, the eggs are just two eggs." 🎶 😂😂😂❤
The last story is like a thriller movie omg, she’s honestly so lucky. I wish her the best. Get a camera system girl ❤
The last girl acted so calm in that situation with the ex breaking into her home and basically holding her hostage!
I’m so glad she’s ok and lived the tell the story!! 😭
For me, space did not mean break-up. It meant i was being love-bombed, and i needed time to process. The refusal to give space was almost a deal breaker.
Same. I was having some problems with depression and asked for a few months space so I could get help, and he never stopped trying to make me feel sorry for him and go back
✨Almost✨ a deal breaker?! 🥺
Same 😹
Pretty sure that should have been a deal breaker 😅
@@PocketSenpaihe was trying to get you back but it wasn't a breakup from your side? What?
For some people with depression or anxiety or trauma or something like that "needing space" is perhaps there's an episode going on or something happened that you need to think about or maybe you just got into the relationship and the relationship is going way too fast for you and you need to slow down so that you don't break down or something close.
A relationship isn't built on constant physical closeness, and it's fine to have a little bit of time apart, be that not talking to each other for a little bit or not seeing each other for a few days.
If anything, it shows your trust in that person and can develop more of your trust in that person by showing they can respect your boundaries and mental health.
Although, this isn't always the case. Some people use "needing some space" as a reason to break up with people, which is valid as well if they find they weren't as ready for the or a relationship as they thought they were. This is what makes it confusing.
So, it's probably best to ask which version on "needing some space" that person needs beforehand. They may get irritated in some cases, but it really is a crucial thing you need to know, so don't let it stop you from asking.
I will always believe the saying to not help people while in a relationship with them… most times they are with you because you’re all they can get at the moment.. place holder.
The insane toxic guy who broke into her house...that was actually a really really scary dangerous situation. I'm glad she's alive and I hope he never bothers her again.
Damn I thought “I need some space” just meant exactly that 😅 I didn’t realize we we’re _supposed_ to read into things that usually gets me in trouble 😂
As someone whose parents divorced in part because one really wanted pets and the other really didn't, YES that is a legit reason to break up, lol. Same as when one wants kids and the other doesn't.
I always considered that when dating. I knew I didn't want kids. I married a man who had a son, and I love him to pieces.
This is kinda wild. But the more I think of the hassle our pets have been in our marriage…😂😂😂
We are at the point where even I (with my abandonment issues) believe we will be married forever. We just celebrated a decade and he finally broke down and let me get a cat. So I can imagine how this would affect marriages.
✨PETTY POTATOES ASSEMBLE✨
🫡
We need matching uniforms with capes. 😂
Lmao 😂
@@timefoolery That would be petty epic💯
OMD WE HAD A TWIN THOUGHT THATS BLOWN MY MIND , I EVEN EDITED MINE TO GET RID OF THE SPARKLE ✨ WE WERE SEPARATED @ BIRTH 😂😂
"that didn't really break up with me" girrrrrl. He most certainly did break up with you. Sending you a picture of your crap on the floor of an entryway .. that's pretty damn clear.
I feel SO bad for the 1st woman. She seems so genuine and kind (and very beautiful!!). She better get the good things she deserves!!
She's delulu
@lifewuzonceezr we can all be a little delulu when it comes to relationships haha!
@thegreenfairyqueen7884 true.. so true..
@@lifewuzonceezragreed. She’s the weirdo ex 😂
27:22 it's giving VIOLENT CRIMINAL THAT NO WOMAN IS SAFE AROUND
Nah, “needing space” is not a break up. Not in my eyes, sorry. Unless you explicitly tell me “I think we should break up, I don’t want to be with you anymore”.. something along those lines, we’re not broken up. If my boyfriend/husband/whatever were to say “I just need some space” then all I’m giving you is a little bit of space.
It’s a break up, when the person is too chicken to come out and say “it’s over”.
I do feel it depends on the context.
Sometimes people have other stuff going on in their lives, that they have to deal with.
But at the very least there has to be an explanation and some sort of assurance, that the other person really does want to pursue the relationship further. And preferably some sort of timeline. Like 'when my exams are over' or such.
I think, to someone with some life experience, the difference between that and a person just being a coward or dishonest is usually obvious. Just maybe less so to someone young and newly in love.
I agree. Some people may have avoidant attachment issues and space is how they regulate their emotions. The caveat being that they should ask for a time out in a heated discussion properly, picking things up where they were left, or asking politely. For longer term space, acknowledge that it might scare your partner and just reassure them you're trying to center yourself or whatever it is your Healthy Space alone is actually for.
It really does depend on the context tho. It doesn't mean they aren't just trying to back away slowly and are too much of a wimp to be clear and emotionally available, avoidant attachment or not. People really do need to develop their EIQ to do things properly.
I have said this, actually recently, and I really meant that I needed space. I love being alone and I need my time to recharge (I am very introverted and my partner was extroverted) he said he understood, but he would get mad every time I needed some alone time. He was always around me to the point I didn't even know ME anymore....but my point is I asked for space and only wanted space.
I agree- when I was 18 I had a bf and to keep a long story short it wasn’t going very well. I told him that I needed some space and i MEANT space- I still fully considered us to be in a relationship. Now, after like a week of having space between us I realized how much better my life was and how much happier I was without him so I officially broke up with him.
Story 3 - Scary!!! Be careful, these are the guys who end up in prison for unaliving their partner. She was telling the story all cutesy but I'm sure this has caused her a lot of stress. Get a restraining order and set some boundaries. Unfortunately, I wasted my good years on these types of men. Don't do what I did and educate yourself on red flags and narcissistic behavior. It's easier to spot one and stay away then learn the hard way because they will not leave you alone. Love you Charlotte and fellow potatoes!!!
ALSO learn what you need to get an OOP where you live. For example, on Long Island, you need to call the police BC you need at least a police report. Sometimes the police can do it but other times, you have to take the report to the court house. The specialty court then has a prosecutor at the courtroom door to SW you, answer questions, help you along, etc. I also used my walker-needed it after the assault that messed up my existing disabilities anyway, and put my 70 year old roomie dying of panc cancer in ICU, although earlier in the day can use the cane.
NOT THE HAZMAT SUIT AND POTATO!!!! Love that!!! That had me in stitches!!!! To the lesbian baby daddy...you are a good person...I am sorry you went through it!!!
Charlotte's Dr. Evil laugh cracked me up!
And a potato NOT in a good way, such as The Potato Queen, mashed. french fries etc.
The horse got me 😂 I busted out laughing😂
lmao as a masc/stud lesbian myself, if i got sent a scan, for a second i reckon id also forget i am female too😂😂😂😂
I'm straight and if someone send me a scan and said it was mine I'd panic for a second too😂 I'd be like wtf I don't remember that did I have too much to drink that weekend?!?!😂
LOL
I’m the queen of genius: I once answered the phone to my bf side piece and made out I was the roommates gf and she spilt the tea on how she met my bf blah blah 😂 oh the story’s I can tell
Ooh pls do tell 😂 (charlotte has a reddit btw)
@ oh well he goes
I told her that it was so good to hear that Antony (my bf) was getting out because he was a bit of a introvert and how she was really doing him a favour , oh she was lapping the attention, so I couldn’t help but ask how they had met and how long they had been seeing each other, she told me it has been a few months and they had met at a nightclub, all the time I was congratulating her for bringing him out of his shell.
Anyway it turned out he met her on the same night I was out at a funfair trying to win him a pink panther I ended up paying for. I confronted him the following night and he was stumped, he just wanted to know how I found out….
I’m in my 50s now and outsmarted every man since who has tried to manipulate me…… the time I out smarted a romance scammers desperate need for cash with monopoly is another story xxxx
I’ve tried the Charlotte Reddit but I’m having no luck I can’t be bothered with it
Omg!!! Charlottes reactions have been getting better & better 😂🤌👏 aging like fine wine!! ❤❤😂
Since pregnancy is counted from one's last period, you actually conceived 4 weeks ago if you're 6 weeks pregnant. Gestational age is also a good guess unless it's with IVF (since the doctor would then know exactly when everything happened)
Although it would be crazy for someone to conceive maybe a day after they broke up with someone. What incredible timing with both ovulation and finding someone to sleep with so fast
They can be off by up to two weeks in the first ultrasounds. Even if they are correct about exact time of conception, it actually can be wrong about when you actually had sex because sperm can survive up to 7 days so up to another week from when you actually did have sex you could ovulate and become pregnant. It is pretty interesting though they have a combination of measurements and looking at the organs through ultrasound that actually can turn the estimated date into actual date as they can figure actual gestational age through ultrasound. I had to have an ultrasound when I went into premature labor where they were able to confirm for sure I was 26 weeks. They do this if they can to be fully prepared for all the needs and possible complications if they do have to deliver prematurely.
If this is about the lesbian couple. There is NO way she could be connected to the baby in any way shape or form unless she donated the egg to be implanted in the other woman.
@@shawndeanapatrick1425 thanks I kept trying to figure out if that was a he or she.
@@chloezapata4152She did say she’s a stud, which is lesbian lingo.
The second girl is so smart and she knows and knew when it happened it wasn’t good but had to see it thru knowing it would end in total disaster I give her cuddos for trying knowing it would be bad 🤣 ❤
06:58 PREACH IT CHARLOTTE!
My ex-fiance that i was with for 10 years said stuff like that when he suddenly "wanted space" and kept me hanging for months! I am so thankful i snapped back with "But all these things were like that from the beginning?! how is this an issue when we were together HAPPILY for 10 YEARS!?" he broke up with me after over a year (and, i kid you not, on our anniversary!) and i told him he'll regret it. But it was for the best, or at least my best, as I was breaking my back for him. About a year later i met my current boyfriend who is treating me so much better! We're together for 4+ years now and he still smiles when i enter the room and tells me how happy he is to have me, every day.
About a year after the break up, my ex told me that i was right and it was a stupid reason. He had a couple relationships after but nothing lasted.
So i see it as his loss, not mine. If you dont treasure what you have, then you dont deserve it.
I agree that he was an asshole for keeping you hanging for a year, and for the anniversary, and for coming back after.
But that doesn't mean everyone who break up after 10 years is necessarily wrong either. Sometimes people change it they want different things at different stages of life. Not everyone regrets it
As a bi woman I fully understand the moment of “wait… is that… no wait that can’t be mine” 😂 Is it illogical? Yes! But the brain is a ten pound ball of protein jelly afflicted by lightning, so it’s not always inclined to logic!
I LOVE that description ❤
@ feel free to steal it! Hell if I remember where I got it from lol
@@htewing , Thanky kindly ❣️
The guy in the first story is such a coward. What a cowardly way to break up with someone.
“I know everything, might as well admit it.” I knew NOTHING! It was just my intuition. He spilled his guts so fast.
Actually, for me, not loving cats was a deal breaker, and I made sure to find out in the first date or two. Luckily, my husband was as much of a cat lover as I am, and it's been 32 years, and we have never been without cats in our lives. :)
My boyfriend didn't really want a cat but didn't hate it either. That was enough for me, since I would take care and love on the feline baby. Now he's the cutest cat dad who sends me selfies and updates with/about the cat every single hour. The only time I have seen him cry in 8 years was when our cat suddenly died of a heart attack. 2 months later he was out walking the streets trying to find a cat through the cat distribution system, as he was lonely during gaming. He really grew to be the cutest cat lover 😊
@@EchoSappho LOL, at 31, I just knew that I wasn't willing to compromise--and with someone who was meh on them, there would always be the chance they might not want them later. For me, it was a total dealbreaker (as was smoking--absolutely no smoking). I only have a few dealbreakers, but those two were at the top, along with two others.
please tell me where to find people like that, all the boyfriends i've had has either been allergic or not like cats 😭
@@discolizard712 are there *cat cafes* in your area? How about cat rescues or no kill shelters? They always need volunteers. Even if you didn't have a lot of time to volunteer, they always need food, toys, blankets(can be found at thrift stores) and dropping off supplies doesn't take up a lot of time. I'd bet this would put you in touch with other folks who love cats. 🐈⬛
@@discolizard712 The suggestions made by @debraadams7164 is a good one. I lucked out--moved in with a friend and his roommate and I fell in love.
3:26 Most of the time, if someone says they need space or they want to take a break, they want to break up with you but they want to you stay single and available for them in case they change their mind. Unless your partner has complete transparency with you and good communication and tells you that they don't want to break up, they genuinely just need space, then assume it's a break up.
A trail of “how much trouble can I get myself into by ignoring red flags?” For the saviours out there - as soon as you get the merest whiff of a sad story, go straight to the bathroom, call an uber, vomit loudly, get proper snotty and teary, rub the mascara around a bit, rejoin your date and tell them how ill you are, it must be contagious. No, no, no need for them to take you home. If they keep talking cough, spill the wine, sneeze on them. Uber arrives, the face wipe takes care of the mess and you head off to a girlfriend’s who can take your phone away for a week and unfriend and unfollow him/her for you! No getting pulled in to a sob or trauma tale.
I am hereby officially appointing you as all of ours best friend!
@@tcf_iceland😂
Okay, but I may feel ill soon.
@@tcf_iceland The kind who would "red wine" someone who showed up at our wedding in white, esp with lace and other wedding dress style touches. When your friend marries the right person, add in crazy dancing to celebrate!
Kneel down so I can knight you in the name of friendship. I dub thee, Dame Dorothy Evans. May you protect your land well and serve bravely until your last breath.⚔
Thank you so much, Charlotte you don’t know how badly I needed a video from you today. My dad was diagnosed with cancer this weekend and it’s been a really hard time on our family and you made me smile for the first time in a while and I thank you for that.
Now this how I wanna start my day ❤ love you Charlotte. You and Mike gave me alot of hope, and I recently found my dream man that accepts and loves me as much as Mike loves you. Thanks for cheering me up during the hard times
That guy who broke in was giving off extreme incel vibes. Especially the line, "all you women are the same!"
Normal people do not do stuff like that.
I died laughing when the editor put Charlotte climbing tthrough the window. Chef's kiss 👌 In Charlotte's words "Delectable" lol
The last op is an awesome story teller. She chilled down the creepers creepy creepiness😂
I hope that someday they develop a system that would allow you to text 911. I was in extremely scary situations with an abusive ex and if he knew I was calling the police I guarantee I would've been dead before they got there. Calling the cops openly can be a dire situation in some cases.
In the UK we can text 999 (emergency services) if we can’t make a voice call. I’m pretty sure a lot of places in America have the capability to text emergency services too (not sure how widely it’s available though state to state)
@@Pickled_Offi believe we can also rapidly press the power button too.b
Well, lucky for you, that someday already happened. Granted, it can depend on where you are, but you can absolutely text emergency services for this very reason.
after Pickle said that about the UK, I checked it out in the states. Yes we have it, unfortunately it only covers 54% of the country.
Yes, very glad to be out of that situation. 🤗
In some places, you can text 911. I believe it's called enhanced 911. Usually, it's in more populous areas.
It was developed partially in response to the Virginia Tech mass shooting when students tried texting 911 for help.
2nd story- OP is as much a dumpster fire as the crazy girl. OK! you are friends for 2 years and during those 2 years the girl as threatened to alive you, your family, and friends. Then a "friend" says to you " You should give it a chance dating her because you are the only one that likes her"
Right lol
The first story triggered me. I had a guy play with my feelings like that too. It was so terrible. Glad I'm over it, but it was so heartless of him.
It really is heartless 💔 I don't understand how people can fake a relationship,( I hope that's the right word) I've had that happen too and it didn't feel good at all. I can't even fake liking someone, let alone a romantic relationship. ~I'm not mean if I don't like someone, I just avoid them~ After alot of growth, I end it the first ick I get if we haven't been talking long ❤ I hope you find someone wonderful ❤
@PixieStix2000 I don't really care about relationships anymore. I mostly attract the worst men and don't want to bother.
@rileystein6195 Very relatable
@PixieStix2000 I wish it wasn't. Dating has become so abysmal over time.
This advice may or may not help you: once I abandoned the "I don't chase I attract" "I only talk to guys who message first" whole rhetoric, I found those were the shittiest guys and the guy I actively chased turns out to be the sweetest, kindest most amazing guy I could ask for.
3:23 okay maybe don't encourage people to not take a person at their word. Yes, there are liars like the boy in the story, but my goodness - no means no, yes means yes, and I need a little space can mean I need a little space. I know I've been that person where I needed to step back and reassess myself in the situation and then come back and communicate more. A little space can actually be the healthiest thing for your relationship especially codependent ones
Yep, this.
As a 30 year old women who’s been through the ringer with relationships in my early years… I need space always meant “I need space to be with other people but I’m telling you that I need space and not just ending it with you because I need you here when I decide to come back” I encourage people to listen to their gut, because you definitely cannot always take a person at their word.
@Maiden_to_mother a gut reaction is a gut reaction but you know that's what therapy is for. I am also a ~30-year-old except I'm a trans man who has been through the ringer as well. Married, divorced, single parent, now is polyamorous and loving life and guess what! Sometimes, people aren't lying to your face. It just depends on the crowd you choose. I trust my gut and it has never steered me wrong but I know if I was not willing to trust my partner to give them space then something is so off (in my head or not) that the relationship probably isn't worth it. That's at least something I learned from my experience
This is what happens when you let the delusions seem valid
Great point
The only time we see people sitting in someone's home, alone, in the dark for hours waiting for them, it's the villain. So why would the last guy be like, "Imma do that and get her to love me again."
Good morning petty potatoes! 4am here in Australia and was just about to go to sleep, instead I’ll just be here watching this new video by our Petty Queen ❤️❤️❤️
Sending love from east coast of the states! ❤❤❤
Potatoes of the world, UNITE😅❤
What’s it like to be upside down all the time? 🤭 (I like dad jokes lol)
@@NunyaNomi it’s a constant headache 😂😂😂
I dunno, my partner and I were living together in this shoebox studio. We talked for a while and decided that we both needed space, so I moved out. But this never meant we were broken up. This was years ago. we are still together today and bought a house together. I think you have to be clear in a break up and be an adult and have a true conversation about it if you want to break up…
Yeah idk why the dude seemed so annoyed by her when he didn't even tell her directly. Well actually I do know, because I knew a guy similar to this many years ago, just wanted a pretty girl to take to parties but he didn't actually like me at all. His loss because he has the shittiest personality on the planet 😂😂 so good luck finding anyone else
Have a great week beautiful potatoes !🥔
19:26 🎯 i dont want to hear about it anymore is totally correct! If it keeps happening how i said it would, they keep going back and it repeats over and over and over - leave me alone & out of it 😂🤦🏻♀️ ill be waiting over there to help you when you finally realize what a ding dong youve been thinking it was going to change!
First time ever making it dix early n I can't even contain my happiness.. I feel like I won d lottery. Love u charlotte from Nigeria 🫶🏻
15:14 excuse me, friend, lol. It doesn't work like that 😂😂
Well it's the same way that people who haven't had sex in a long time panic that they're pregnant if their period is late
😂😂
@jasonellis4330 facts! Lol, but she can't get someone pregnant. It's a little different 🤣 but I was more talking about the chick that tried to say the baby was hers. She must think she's real stupid to try and pull that
@ashleydiamond4581 still a split second fear lol. But yeah the ex is mad
I love you! We move in the shadows, I’m in my 60’s and am an expert at shadows and petty!
The great thing about being a woman over 60 is that we are invisible & really do move in the shadows 😂
That last one was whacked! Why she didn’t call the cops instead of her stepdad is crazy! She was way too calm telling that story too and saying she’s had lots of crazy stuff happening to her in the past 🫣
The girl in the 3rd story had more sense at 19 than I did, and I'm kinda jealous of her for that. Would've saved me some years I wasted on my ex.
That Cullen reminds me quite distinctly of anecdotes I’ve studied about sex offenders who broke into the survivor’s house and actually got surprised: “Oh, am I hurting you?” Absolute disconnect from reality with the entitlement!
Story 2 *Wait Wait Wait… She tries to KILL YOU… AND YOU TWO HOOKED UP ANYWAYS?!?* 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
As a butch…, I get the split second “wait, mine??”
Without getting into the nitty gritty of it, butch/stud and femme relationships have a dynamic. Sometimes femmes forget we cis women got periods too. It’s a whole thing. (Have yet to hear about the pregnancy thing though. 😭😭) On the flipside, without getting too explicit, there’s a lot with packing, how intercourse goes, stones (slang, not a literal rock), etc. It’s dumb but also a bit complicated. Lol
A new video. Seen em all over and over lol. Always got to wait for the new ones
Remember guys: WHEN 👏🏾 THEY 👏🏾 SAY 👏🏾 THAT 👏🏾 THEY 👏🏾 WANT 👏🏾 SPACE 👏🏾 THEY’VE 👏🏾 GOT 👏🏾 SOMEONE 👏🏾 ELSE 👏🏾
Louder for the people in the back!😂
On being a friend of someone who's in an on/off relationship: I give my friends two times to complain about a problem they are capable of fixing. After that they don't get to gripe about it anymore. Period. It's a hard boundary. I've literally had people drift away because they can't come to me and vent about fixable problems anymore and that was their entire personality.
Even though I haven’t been in a relationship, for the first story I can understand the confusion. To me I need space means you’re overwhelmed and stressed and need to clear your mind. It’s a break. If you want to end the relationship, you need to be clear and say that in order for there to be clear communication, just say you want to break up so there is no misunderstanding or miscommunication. If not then I’m confused and will not understand.
He wanted there to be confusion so he could use her, but then he can make himself look better / make her look like "the crazy one" 🙄🙄
these videos absolutely make my day thank u charlotte keep pushing🤪🥰
I honestly need a video from Mike in the loungeroom just recording the random screeches and yelling coming from Charlottes recording room 😂😂
😂😂😂 that would he awesome
I second this BRILLIANT idea❣️
I read that thumbnail and was absolutely flabbergasted and confused cause what?? 😭😭
16:56 anyone else wanna know if she was actually pregnant? Lmao
Good Morning Petty Potatoes! ❤
Good morning, beloved Petty Potato Queen!! I’m here early yay!!!
Mornin'
I was confused for a moment
It's evening here 🥲
6:05
Good morning! ❤
Good night my lovely potatoes 🌙😪 because its 10:45 pm here in India right now and happiest morning My Canadian potatoes ✨ stay petty loves 💗
If ANYONE uses unaliving themselves as a threat to keep you trapped. Then let them. You should NEVER tolerate someone manipulating you like that. They really gonna unalive themselves if you break up with them? Then let them go ahead. 100% of the time, they don't. Because it's a scare tactic, and a disgusting one at that. The amount of men that told me they would unalive themselves if I broke up with them, are still alive to this day. Don't let people manipulate you like this. Ever.
I"m in the "call the police, 100% of the time" camp. Either they're serious and get the help they need or they aren't and they learn that homie don't play that.
I was in a long distance relationship w/a man (in his 40s…) who pulled that card out of his emotional abuse deck & it was the straw that broke my camel’s back. I said, Go ahead, I don’t care. And hung up. He’d already tried crying hysterically into the phone, dropping the phone to go vomit from stress, etc, & I was so absolutely done with his antics. Of course, he did not unalive himself.
Yay new video! I love you Charlotte!
I had someone say they needed space because he and his MOM thought he wasn't ready for a relationship yet. 6 weeks later, he comes back and says he's ready now and we can get back together. I told him NO, not happening. And for the next several years, he'd find my social dating profiles every now and then and message me to tell me how I was the one that got away.
We dated for 5 weeks total before the "break" 🙄
As a animal lover. It is definitely something we have to agree upon. If we happen to get to the point of moving in together. They need to know my animals are coming with me and I'm a Beast sooooo.😅
Exactly! The pets were there first buddy 😂
Same, my cats are coming with me😂
I find it hard to even relate to people who don’t like animals or pets. Definitely a must in any partner for me.
Cool Animal Story: Husband can take or leave animals but despises litter boxes so we don’t have a cat. But I told him if I ever get cancer he has to allow me to have a cat because they are healing. Well, about two years ago my neighbors outdoor cat that I’ve known his whole life (he won’t stay inside) started coming over every day and I would hang out in my garage and hold him. Turns out I had cancer that whole time (had a lump but doctor said it was normal perimenopausal breast changes) and I think he somehow knew it. I honestly believe he stopped the cancer from spreading because my oncologist said it should have metastasized in that time. I didn’t need chemo OR radiation and it was only in one lymph node with an oncotype score of NINE. It was unheard of. He still hasn’t left lol If you wanna see him (Mr Peep) he is on my channel in the Pizza Cat video and I think one other one. Animals are life!!
@@NunyaNomi Wow. Oddly, that kinda correlates with my Mom. Diagnosed with breast cancer, had several cuddly cats, when they operated, the lump was smaller than expected and no underlying muscle involvement. Surprised her surgeon no end. 25+ year survivor when she passed a few years ago. {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
This is what restraining orders are for!!!
WOOOOOOOOOO, I AM HERE FOR THE EX DRAMA!!!!!
You don’t even have to call. You say the right thing Siri will pick up on it. I was singing lyrics and she decided she was about to call the police LOL
I get excited every time I see you have a new video out🥰
Story 1. Not liking pets is a dealbreaker for me, but that would be settled within the first 20 seconds of meeting someone.
Stunning as usual my petty potato queen❤🥔❤
Ex-saviour complex sufferer.
We have to separate not judging someone and accepting said personal's in your inner circle.
I just say in my mind, "I'm not judging them, but they don't meet my personal standard for myself".