🍀 Take a free and accurate 16 Types assessment at Cloverleaf! Click here 👉 cloverleaf.me/signup?+james 🍀And get the free "From Boss to Coach" ebook here 👉cloverleaf.me/from-boss-to-coach?UA-cam+&+james (sponsored) Video explaining the Cognitive Functions for beginners: ua-cam.com/video/tQaHdZmLwvo/v-deo.html
You really hit the nail for the INTP part. I can't speak for the ISTPs out there, but as and INTP, I tend to struggle with anxiety issues revolving around whether I should point out my thoughts or opinions on something or not. I debate over how I can word it without coming off as rude for a long time that I end up not saying it at all. Even when I know a person is wrong, I'm afraid to spark arguements and unnecessary conflict which leads to my reserved nature.
ISTP here and I can relate! I'm very aware of other people and tend to avoid confrontation, but at the same time I don't try to actively get to know people better. So I don't care about other people, as long as I'm not involved. xD
As an INTP, this is exactly why I don’t have any social media accounts other than UA-cam. You have to put even MORE thought into what you say there than in person.
@B Your comment made me intrigued of your character. This is the first time I've seen someone say they care about others while also admitting that they don't care about their feelings. Though that's a given considering I used to be like that as a child. I cared about my friends' wellbeing but I didn't care if I had to be harsh to them whenever I wanted to point them out on their bs.
INFP here and I'm an enneagram 4w5, so I relate to INTP's more than other INFP's, but I think I can help. I think the way to avoid conflict while still attempting to correct a logical inconsistency is to bring it up in a light that doesn't make the other person or people feel inept, and to package it in a nice tone of speaking. Example: Instead of, _"Wait, no no no, that's not correct, this is"._ This can be said, _"Just remember it's this, not this, ok?"_
Coworker flips out on my smol mistake. me internally... fking hell should I tell him chill, no need for curse words and technically he made the situation worse when he could have fixed it sooner :/ nah not going to argue with someone who's angry :/
I had to take a test, so I visited the exam center 2 days before the test. It definitely helped. Also, I am not a cowardly person, but I almost always drag my sister (ESFJ) with me if I am going to a place the first time. Its so annoying to her. After the first time, I am totally fine going by myself, even at night. Female INTJ
Due to having too much time on my hands, I often plan my interactions, which adds to my disappointment when these plans don't come true. Lately I've been trying to dive head-first into things more, which helps build my self-esteem.
I have done this too, especially when I was younger (and not THAT much younger lol). I probably lived in my shadow function too much, while younger. (I am ENFP tho)
INTJ here; a couple weeks ago, I literally looked up a new restaurant on Google Maps so I could check the satellite images to see what the parking lot was like to know whether I’d have to park on the street or which direction I needed to approach the restaurant from in case the parking lot was one way only. You’ve certainly got my number, Frank! 😂
Same with me, when I travel I look up the bus stops and how to get from A to B exactly - like every single step - in advance. So when I get there I know precisely where to go. I feel sometimes I get lost in the detail planning but it also saves a lot of time because I don’t have to ask for the way
I did this for my trip to China. I also watched UA-cam videos to get a better understanding of the route I was taking from the airport to the hotel I would be staying at. I also printed directions and had them translated. It was like taking the trip before I even went. -INFJ
Not to judge you at all but why do this when each type is already time stamped in the video? Like I get that this was really handy before UA-cam offered this feature but now that it’s offered, why add time stamps to the comments when it’s already in the video? - ENTJ
@@EllePlowPlow I think they commented this for likes despite the time stamps being there. You see, there’s some people who can’t seem to find the stamps, maybe they didn’t know the new stamps feature existed. -INFJ (I just realized ur the extroverted personality type of me lol.)
As an INFP it’s true that we tend to get stubborn when don’t like something, but most of the time we’re too shy to really say anything. We’re just as willing as INFJs to put others’ needs before our own, at least in the short term-I’m usually the last to care which restaurant the group goes to. We value social harmony just as much as ENFJs, and we HATE being perceived as the problem. If we think we’re causing social conflict, we internalize this deeply. It’s only when the group’s values are at odds with our identity that we feel the need to say something, and usually there’s a whole internal conflict we have to process first. A better example would be if an INFP was really excited about seeing their favorite indie band, but the group decides to go to a football game instead.
That's true. So is in politics/religious/etc talk situation, while we're unlikely to say we agree with you, we would just let you say whatever you want because we don't want conflict and also because we respect other people's subjective truth. Like, yeah I don't necessarily agree Te-wise but Fi says that you have the right to like what you want to like.
I’m glad you point out the planning thing about INFJ 😅 I’ve always find it weird that everyone says we plan everything like very far in the futur… because as a person who really looked at many mbti content for finding out my type and who is pretty sure of being INFJ, I feel like i never ever plan things in the time… i do think a lot about it but it’s hard for me to be sure of what to do, so i tend to just procratinating about that… And that’s a major insecurity I just feel like i’m too scared about failing to follow my plans so i just don’t plan, and try to let myself go with others plans.. But maybe it’s because i struggle for being confidente in front of others too by saying what i would like to do…
I get you! I always feel like I’m “bad” at being an INTJ because I don’t have a 5-year/10-year plan. I just don’t have any ambitious goals that would require that kind of planning. But I do overplan for things that stress me out, like driving around a new place, or going to a new doctor. I am, however, incredible at planning a vacation! I am the queen at making sure everyone’s vacation style is catered to, and having contingency plans on contingency plans. The key is to schedule time for spontaneity and mishaps. I’ve literally had someone apologize for messing up my timetable only for me to reply, “Don’t worry. I planned for this.” 😂 So, while I’m bad at making far-flung future plans for me, I’m pretty good at making plans for specific situations.
@@HeartlandHunny I rely to driving/doctor part. But for holidays and travels the only things I like to plan are hotels and transportation... do not want to sleep in a shitty place only because I was too lazy to book xD but once that the most important things are done, I am okay with enjoying the journey with no particular plans
True, most of the time i only plan for my daily routine or when I'm about to go or do something that makes me worried or nervous (I'm planning to avoid any silly dumb mistakes). But for future? Tbh, i don't really have a solid plan for that because we can't really predict what's really going to happen to us. There are so much possibility or route in our life based on our decision. Sometimes a route that we want to avoid is the best route for us to be happier.
Wow I've never heard anyone say what I've been literally feeling for decades!!!! I often feel myself just not planning... even in high-school it was super hard to picture any one specific focus or career path. I used to tell my academic advisors my mind literally went black. My fear in making the wrong choice comes from my household, and that enables me to not make any choice or plan. Very stagnant. I am, however, good with directions and maps - I have a BA in human Geography.
INFJ here! I completely agree with FJ that we are commonly seen as good planners when in reality, I am not! Lol I am trying to plan a big surprise birthday party for a family member and I have this grand vision of what I want it to look like and I have the date picked out for it, so I have a time frame I have to get it all done in. But.....I hate the minute details that go into putting everything together. Like ordering decorations and knowing when to send out invites and what to say in them. The fact that I detest dealing with details such as these also makes me a huge procrastinator, haha! This also can apply to every day life like when I go places, I am usually late because I procrastinate having to get ready to go, even if I am excited for the destination/event in and of itself! And I completely agree that we are excellent planners in real-time when faced with uncertainties. When I was in school and rode the bus, I would plan in my head how I would get off so that I wouldn't get ran over or passed up and have to awkwardly wait for everyone to ignore me and not let me out, but also try to not overcompensate by running someone over or looking like a crazy person jetting off of the bus, haha! So stressful!
I hate party planning so much I’ve never done it since my wedding 20 years ago. All those silly details that can derail the fun far more than any spoon has a right to do! The only way I do vacations is to start way ahead and break packing into bite size groups. Best of luck on your event. I hope they feel your love!
@@CheriFields I hated planning my wedding too!! I completely agree!! That is a really good idea, I will have to try that next time I pack for a trip!! Aw, thank you so much!!
Yep. Trying to plan my daughter's birthday party. If we have it in the park because people are still getting Covid, that means I'll have to buy certain types of containers to carry the cakes, and find a way to keep the bugs off the food, and so on...
@@hannahwatson265 my oldest is an ENFP. We share this weakness (and wouldn’t trade our strengths for anything). For her it’s school assignments. So, I often slow her down and remind her how to eat an elephant. 😄 Oh, yes, none of my 7 kids mind that I don’t do parties-other moms don’t do what I do with them.
@@lorigoshert6667 Wow, I do not envy the detail that will have to go into planning that! I have every confidence you will pull it off seamlessly, though!! I know it will be perfect and your daughter will be over the moon with happiness!! 🥰
As an INFP, thanks for telling people that we aren’t selfish, we’re just trying to be honest. Normally, if it was the restaurant situation you used, I would say “I’m not a fan of Mexican places but I wouldn’t want to ruin your lunch. How about we go there today and then go get (example place) tomorrow? I would really appreciate it.” You do great FJ! Love your videos! Edit: I’ve been reading these comments and I would like to add that INFPs in general would rather not show their emotion. Just like this, I feel like most INFPs would react the same way with their opinions. They would have the opinion but depending on the social situation be too scared to show it or they feel strongly abt it so they bring it up. To prevent arguments, they will just be assertive sometimes. Edit 2: WOAH!!! 500 LIKES?! WTF?!
I don't think Frank is even right about Fi-doms being the most likely to go against the group that assertively. Most of us are inclined to go with the flow in most situations that are low-stakes and not some threat to our core values or identity. Or at least be hesitant and polite in expressing that we don't like the thing. I've been in that type of situation many times and usually just gone along with it or maybe been less than enthusiastic at the suggestion, maybe offered up another possibility, but never the kind of staunch resistance portrayed here. It doesn't really matter; it's an easy thing to compromise on.
@@looperbirhinger7043 That really depends. It's more likely with immature versions of these types. Also depends on the situation. I for one do have strong personal tastes but can still compromise with people in social settings. For example, if someone wants to watch a movie I'm not interested in, I will often go along with it if they seem very interested since it will make them happy and it's not a big deal, and usually my main goal when spending time with a loved one is just... spending time with them. But if someone recommends that I watch something I have no interest in on my own time, I am unlikely to do it. Also, I think ISFPs are more likely than INFPs to have matters of taste as core values or things they define themselves by, so there could be some differences between these types here.
As an ENFP I have found out that I am oddly perfectionistic with a lot of things. Even my friends have started pointing it out. But somehow at the same time it feels like ENFPs and ENTPs are very sloppy and absolutely not perfectionistic because sometimes we just HAVE to finish stuff and if we do we rush it out the door asap (or we ask for extra time, which usually we ask far too late). You are still correct btw, just wanted to add smth extra to it
As an enfp the perfectionist thing is weird and took me a long time to realise it. I think when it cones down to do things that we have set our minds on we want to do it well because it can be hard in general to stay focused.
I think bcs of our Fi aux function, we value every project we work on. That leads to wanting to make everything perfect. We value our ideas and that leads to perfectionistic. But sometimes when the steaks are high and pressure is near our Te may come out and be like, just finish the work and rush it all. Idk ENTPs since I'm not them, but that's my understanding on why ENFPs are perfectionistic but sometimes just go full blown finish the job don't care anything mode -ENFP
I am an ENTP, and that statement really just clicked with me. I have never thought of myself as being a protectionist (quite the opposite compared to my ISTJ friend), but I have always had those moments where people tell me that I am way too perfectionistic. Now I am starting to realize that it may just be another type of perfectionism, a way that is not commonly talked about, that is usually thought of as being the opposite. Interesting🧐 Edit: I accidentally wrote to instead of too.
Entp. Yes, it took me a while to realize that I have a problem with perfectionism. But I won this by realizing that I value experimenting more. And this means being more open and accepting half steps and failures
ENTP here. I just did a challenge where I made a small experimental game prototype every day for a week and it was one of the best things I have ever done. (Also one of the most exhaustive things but whatever.)
As an INFJ I have an exact picture in my mind of the career I want and what it looks like. I have the resources, talent and experience for it. But I can't make myself take the practical steps needed to get to that place. The details loom much bigger and are much more threatening to me than the obvious, bigger picture. And you hit the nail on the head with the "smaller" plans. If I want to cook a meal or get a bite to eat I know what I want, it forms a picture in my mind so specific I can practically taste it. Then I go looking for the food but instead I see all these other options and they don't match my inner picture and that drives me crazy. I pass up many reasonable options because they aren't precisely what I want. Like today I wanted a coffee shop that served breakfast but all the coffee shops only serve coffee by itself. I could have gone to a restaurant that served coffee but I didn't want that either. So after examining every one of the menus online and all the photos, I finally gave up and made myself breakfast at home. Alternatively I can find myself completely overwhelmed by sensory stimuli in a store or something to the point where I feel I have lost touch with my identity. I need my mental image of my surroundings to be as strong as, or equal to, the actual surroundings for me to feel "normal." Sensory objects for me have to have a purpose or it's like they aren't really real. But a misconception is that I as an INFJ don't sense my surroundings. I sense them just fine but they just don't matter to me as much as how they fit into what I'm doing with my life and my goals, which is first and foremost.
Is it just me, or do all INFJ’s make mental maps of the places they have been? When I go somewhere new, I always find myself making a map so I don’t get lost later on.
@@atlas5745 I’m still unclear of my personality but I feel you. I also have the tendency of memorizing new place so that I don’t get lost by myself. but, how I make that mental map is still very unclear to me because it’s not really something I actively involved as if it’s an auto pilot mode. but then it’s not really something I’m completely unaware of. Idk how explain it. and sometimes, I am able to ‘see’ the whole area so that I have another option for situation where I do get lost. but the way I ‘see’ the area is not necessarily go to every road possible. my brain just somehow captures the surrounding, then they make a map as if they’re aerial photos where I see them from above. then my brain would try to make the most sense out of everything I see and connect all the roads mentally.
I completely agree! I have exact picture of what I want as my career, but when it comes to taking practical steps, i become very anxious!! What should I do??
@@YoursTAngel I have exact picture of what career I wanted as well but I realised I had to do all those practical steps and that scares me and then I ended up telling myself “well, not gonna do that.” it drives me crazy.
As an ISTJ, I really appreciate your assessment of the Si types. I'm not against change, for the sake of maintaining tradition, I just like to stick with what I know works. But if I can see that a new way of doing something is clearly better than what I've been doing, then I'm totally open to change
My husband now factors in time for me to consider a new idea before I make a ruling on it these days. Because if you press for one immediately, then it's always "It's different. I hate it." :D But after a couple of days of sitting on it, I am generally willing to at least discuss the pros and cons. As for people who are like "yay, new!", I do not get it _at all_.
Exactly, we may hate it when changing circumstances ruin our plans, it might take us longer to adapt to changes in our physical space and our playlist may be filled with nostalgia (btw, that and going to new places are the two areas where I have noticed the "it might grow on me even if I am not sold on it now" effect, as far as ideas go I am willing to discuss them right away) but the way some people are talking about us it is like our computers are still running Windows XP (tbf, that wallpaper and layout would be pretty nostalgic...) and we still dont have smartphones or something. We have auxiliary Te too lads, we can figure out that a new way of doing something can be an improvement too. I get stereotypes are exaggerated for the purpose of comedy but still. Another one I hate is that we are apparently incapable of making a joke for some reason, the fact that we might "overanalyse" a joke (aka want it to actually make sense and be funny) doesnt mean we never make jokes. Also pretty annoying how INTJs are portrayed as far cooler than us and we are just boring accountants but they are still at the top of my list of types I d like to meet irl
I completely agree on the "I just like to stick with what I know works" part, If it's easy for me to do then there's no reason to change it up unless something wrong happens or I get bored. If it ain't broke don't fix it.
I'm very if it ain't broke don't fix it. Especially if you're someone who doesn't even work in my area and come in and changes everything around on me, just cause they think it's better. You don't work here, how do you know how things need to be done!
INFP here, I usually go with the flow to avoid conflict. But there have been times when I've been honest when I shouldn't. Once when I was student teaching there was lice going around the class. The main teacher was trying to explain to the children that lice was no big deal, everyone has had lice, she herself has had lice, etc. Then she pointed to me and said, I bet you've had lice, too, right? This was my que to say, of course I have! But alas, I blurted out honestly....no I haven't. Only realizing a moment later that I probably wasn't supposed to be honest in that particular moment and that I was supposed to let those kids struggling with lice feel better. This probably doesn't relate to being honest with your feelings, but I have felt guilty about this for years and had to get it off my chest. 😆
Ya'll make me feel better because I've felt bad about that for years! Haha! But you've made me think about the drive to be authentic for an infp. I've always disliked it when people dishonestly flatter others to win their approval. It just seems like an unfair way to make people like you. When I tell someone that I like their shoes, I mean it. If I don't like your shoes, I don't say anything. Sometimes when I read that infp's are all about being authentic, I question whether I am infp because I don't walk around letting everyone know my opinions, feelings, musical tastes, political views, etc. But perhaps these small ways of being honest are me being authentic. Who knows...
the way kids are about lice is they will bully you for it. that teacher is clueless and mean. u have no reason to feel guilty. idk why she thought that was the way to calm people. not very smart on her part. if anything ppl would just be more worried, so it’s a good thing actually that you said uhm no i haven’t. she must not pay much attention to her classroom. I feel like what she was trying to do was poorly executed. she didn’t need to point at someone and say that, she should’ve known better as a literal teacher lol.
I'm an ISFJ married to an ESFP. When we go on vacation, we make a deal that I plan half of it and the other half is spontaneous. Makes us both happy and appreciate the other's perspective.
Do you think maybe you could do a video on MBTI types and their relationships with mental illness/disorders? Like are certain types more susceptible to certain disorders and why you think that is? I think that would be a pretty interesting video to watch!
I think thats a reall good idea But i think if u want frank to do that video You should make your idea mor visible through *bold letters* or on line thing so that people would lik this comment and frank would notice
I hope for the sake of that video he doesn’t lump INFJs and INTJs together. When it comes to susceptibility to certain maladaptive psychological patterns they’re really quite different.
@@Chigger the social quirkiness of the average ENFP can border on the Aspergic at times so I’m actually not terribly-surprised to read that comment. I think in any case ENFPs have a hard time reading feeling cues because of that Fi and the need to link whatever the feeling in the environment is back to them in order to really empathise with it but unlike other Fi-types who by their very nature are more likely to censor themselves and act in conformance with at least some sense of social propriety (INFPs for one) ENFPs can be quite bold about their social awkwardness from what I’ve kind of seen.
@@Chigger Wow, I personally know an autistic ENFP, it defies the stereotypes associated with the type for sure. Do you also happen to have older siblings of the same sex as you?
This is spot-on! For INTJ, I can tell you that I've been on a few road trips recently where I've had my route planned specifically but some of the basic details like where to sleep I literally would figure out the day of. We truly are experts of vague yet rigid plans LOL
Yeah this I relate to. I've got lots of ideas and thoughts about what I want to do in the future but figuring out the steps to get me there is where I struggle. I think it's because planning those steps, especially the most immediate steps, are more about the now and possibly human interactions which can be messy especially when it comes to needing help from others to get to where we need to be. It might cause confrontational situations, or simply others who either think our end goal isn't right, especially if it's more creative that traditionally practical.
@@deannascorner8112 haha i can relate. I once told my friend that i want to do a lot of things when i finish my study and my friend ask me how I'm going to do it and I'm like "idk 🤷"😂
One of your best, especially true of my ISFJ sister. She is not a slave to tradition, she is exceptionally capable and practical. She regularly plans youth camps and they run perfectly. As a typical head in the clouds INFP, I rely on her a lot. Only today, she fixed my bike for me.
Conventional social order wouldn’t be a thing without ISFJs. They’re the glue that holds custom-propriety together. People who have ISFJ flatmates/housemates don’t know how lucky they are until they leave and suddenly the kitchen goes from being a haven in which you can eat heavenly-manna off the floor to something reminiscent of a bombed-about bathroom in Bangladesh or deepest Somalia. When they’re there ESFPs and INTPs are too busy moaning about them being too controlling and complaining about the noise so they tend not to realise how good they have it until the ISFJ finds somewhere else to live and no-one’s around to enforce necessary social order, tidy up after everyone and deep-clean the kitchen every Saturday morning.
The INTP one is insanely accurate for me, especially when I was younger. I was called 'rude' and 'antisocial' so many times that they were basically my nicknames for the majority of my time in school (teacher and students). I honestly understand why these names were used when looking back on it, but I found it pretty annoying at times since I didn't understand why the people around me were so sensitive to me saying what I saw as the truth.
As an INTP i always want to look at other million scattered possibilities in all direction And i also want others to notice it And when i point out the holes in other's ideas they get offended Also most peopl like to see the positive possibility and i always point out a counter negative possibility and people think im a negative person where all im trying to do is balance it It doesnt have to do with putting anyone down or liifting myself up Its just my mental need and frustration to look at every dimension
Yeah, like when you actually agree w/someone's ideas but you're pointing out some potential weaknesses in order to help them strengthen the idea. You're actually trying to help them but they think you're arguing against them... 😔
A simple rule of human behavior -- people want to hear THEIR ideas coming out of your mouth for validation. Whenever you suggest otherwise or go against what people think (differs in reactions from diff types of course), you're most likely poking at an innate & subconscious defensive mechanism relating to pride/ego, and as a whole, who they possibly are as a person.
@@SirChocula i am aware of that Thats why i pick only certain situations to talk about the loopholes Sometimes i have to choose not to talk about the loopholes whe i think emotinal satisfaction is more improtant here And in other sitiatuons i choose to talk about the loopholes where the overall success of plan is cosidered important that individual ego
As another INTP, I often find myself surrounded by too many cynical people playing devil's advocate, so my counter is to point out the positives! XD Two sides of the same coin; this is how the INTP function stack (Ti Ne Si Fe) works. What it comes down to is trying to serve the discussion as a whole (Fe) by not leaving out any possibilities (Ne), thereby getting closer to the end goal of truth (Ti) and realism (Si). Because getting to the truth is what we all want out of the conversation, right? ... Right? Guys?!
This makes sense, my mom (an ESFJ) and I (an INFP) had a major conflict when she wants me to stay with her abroad and get a job there. I always say I don’t want to, but she insists just to make our family harmonious. She often says, “our family wants you to be here,” or “they’re happy if you’re here.” I confronted her, and she said I am selfish for my decision. Fast forward to now, i’m on my home country and she’s still living overseas but we’re okay. I suggest that, regardless of what type you are, to say what you really want, never be afraid of conflicts as it is not guaranteed to not have one. All conflicts are going to be solved if you learn to communicate with the other party even if they don’t want to communicate theirs - it’s their loss, not yours!
Same here with my mom, everytime she goes shopping or on a trip she makes sure everyone comes with. Whoever tells her that they would rather join her on another day gets guilted into going anyways. LIKE WHYY??! how is that fun for ANYONE INVOLVED?? P. S. Sorry for rambling
@Not ✨ M Y ✨ hairy armpits sounds like both your mom and the OP's mom also project their own wants onto the whole family. Like, _she wants_ all of you to _want_ to go shopping together even if that's not what everyone actually wants. Or with OP's mom, _she wants_ OP to be with her but she's making it about the whole family because their feelings as a _group_ hold more weight in her mind.
Yeah, that is not a 'selfish' decision on your part, just unhealthy parenting (and actually a form of selfishness on their part). You have the right to your own independent life and identity separate from your family, and it would not be healthy to allow yourself to be convinced otherwise. My own not-so-healthy ESFJ mother also got kind of offended when I moved a bit far from her, and it was a difficult adjustment for her, but she got used to it in the end and we're good now.
About the Si dominants, yes this can be a huge misconception. Speaking of my own experience (ISFJ), we are like the kids that rush to finish homework only so they have all the time free after without worrying. We create a safe basis so we can do whatever we want without worrying about practical things. And about traditions...we do have a connection with past and see its value, or get emotional about it, but it doesn't mean we can't tell the faults in there or not question whatever is questionable. If nothing else I know for my self I question everything and without evidence or good arguments, I won't be convinced. And that applies to new ideas too. I am always supportive towards my intuitive friends/relatives ideas and hear them out, see their point of view, but to embrace it for myself, I do need proof that this idea will work in reality. Or help them find the way to make it work indeed. We aren't close minded, we are practical.
ISTJ here, I procrastinate a lot but the rest of that comment is on point especially for us as Te auxiliaries, if a method is truly better there is no reason not to adopt it. Expanding on the traditions point, honestly quite a few of the politeness/social rules make no sense to me for one, stuff like how we made paying for dates and helping people with chairs and doors at said dates into a gender thing for example is just weird, or how I have to make sure my clothes "fit together" color-wise and possibly do other changes as well like roll up the sleeves of shirts a bit at formal events, or how women are "forced" to wear high heels at such events despite how terribly uncomfy I heard they are etc. Idk, the whole clothing thing is a lost cause to me, just give me a T-shirt and some trousers I feel comfortable in and I will be fine, seriously, stop making it so complicated. Of course I get emotional over nostalgia (are there people that dont?), like celebrations like Christmas and Easter etc, but that doesnt mean I will blindly defend any traditions if they dont deserve it. On the intuitive ideas part, I actually even liked Philosophy that is an intuitive subject back in 12th grade, it is interesting to see how people think about life, human nature etc, it helps build a better worldview. I need clear reasoning/proof to be able to trust something though, idk how intuitives apparently have those "aha" moments without being aware of how they got there. Another thing I hate is how we are apparently boring accountants that cant crack a joke ever but that is an ISTJ stereotype in particular...
My ENFP daughter struggles with anxiety and perfectionism. She is also absolutely capable of following through with plans when she's in love with an idea.
That's the secret. We ENFPs need to be passionate about something. When our introverted Feeling is on fire, there is no stopping us! When our intuition and our values are not engaged, it is absolute torture to go through the motions of something which doesn't excite us. It's a struggle to let go of the anxiety we feel if we see something isn't working out the way we imagine it in our heads.
The other stereotype is definitely "some personalities are just emotionless robots" and as an ISTP, the reason why I don't show mine too much is that some of the emotions are just too complicated and I don't like doing something I hardly understand
video idea for you: what each cognitive function looks like in people who have it as their dominate function vs. what it looks like in people where it's the inferior function. It's easy for me to understand the weaknesses that come from my own inferior function, but I'm still learning to connect the dots for other types. love your videos! you do great work.
"Don't want to interact with reality in real time." So accurate! There have been so many events I've missed because I couldn't figure out what the parking situation would be. What kind of monster just leaves that off the event description?
I can't stop laughing at this description because it is so extremely accurate. My brain is always anywhere but here and "can I have it delivered" is basically my mantra. 🤣 I will spend hours researching and preparing for errands, so when I do leave the house, I can make a beeline for what I need to do, keep my head down, and get tf home. (INTJ)
You’re probably enneagram 9. You prefer to maintain a sense of inner peace and harmony, and to avoid conflict. My mom is an INFP 9 and she is typically agreeable, calm, and easy to be around.
From my experience with unhealthy Fe in my family, these types can be complaining all the time about other people and what others have done to them. It is a misconception that they always bring joy and harmony to the group, as playing the victim all the time might actually get people to move away from them. Great job with your videos!
@@SirChocula Unhealthy ISFJ and ESFP mistyped as INTJs teamed up to cast hatred against the xNTJ, they were xNTJ's two best friends, they're probably fucking right now. This is my 50% sad story (I lost two friends but made it possible for a beautiful romance story to begin), thanks for your attention
@@kv4648 Lmao idk if they're together because I cut ties with them, but it had everything going for it, ESFP x ISFJ is the ideal match and they shared a lot of common interests and psychological problems so I hope they get married, btw the reason they hated me so much was because I liked to philosophize and because they have intuition as an inferior function, abstract conversations are stressful for them. And that's a good way to detect xNxx mistypes, they hate to use their imagination
INFP here: this is true. I actually hadn't realized that I do this until you pointed it out! Just this morning my best friend (she's an ENFP) was telling me about Greek mythology. She asked me if I wanted to hear the story behind Apollo and Daphne, and myself not being very interested in the topic, I said "not really, but I know you're gonna tell me anyway, so it's fine." I just can't stand saying "yes" when I actually mean "no". Whenever I do it to keep the social situation going well, it feels excruciating tbh. Usually I try and compromise by telling someone what I feel, but politely and in a respectful manner, when I don't agree with something.
I am the same, hah. I've had people tell me before that I'm very blunt and I'm like "Well, would you rather me lie??" Does it ever bother you how some greetings/conversations are almost scripted? Often people will ask "how are you today?" And I am expected to be like "Good, how was yours?" but I despise that. I will actually answer and it's hilarious because it throws people off so much. Small talk is THE WORST.
@@valhudson001 SAME. When I'm not doing well, it hurts so much to say that I AM doing well! It's like lying to yourself! I hate that kind of situation.
@@valhudson001 The "How are you?" or "How's your day going?" talk really bothers me if it's meant to be small talk. Like, *how* do you answer the first with anything less than 100-150 words? It's one of the toughest questions for me to answer in short, and I can't even be honest to most people. Usually I reply on the lines of "Getting by somehow" and "Just so-so" if it's not someone really close to me who I can talk properly with, because I know they won't prod anyway. Irony is, I also use these questions as small talk with most people 😅 But with people who understand me, I am replying in and expecting an essay😃
@@honeybeemoo Yeah, I try not to ask those questions or to at least add a follow-up question. But, I always think it's funny how some are so thrown off when they ask how I am and I'm honest like "sucky". They stand there like "Oh. uhh, yeah I got nothing for this response." I listen for genuine answers to that but rarely get them. They'll be like "I'm good. How are you?" Then they'll follow it up and be like "my dad just died."
@@valhudson001 Haha, yeah, the short paragraph reply surprised almost everyone I sent it to 🤣 I don't do it anymore except for with an INFP friend. We both text in paragraphs a lot, it's really fun😁
INFP here, and yes, I can be selfish sometimes, but I have literally had to learn how to do it because I didn't know how to set boundaries, so being a people pleaser it was difficult for me to be selfish enough to save some time just for my self and my integrity. I felt really selfish at doing that, because I didn't know how much I needed it. Now I have learnt to be selfish in a healthy way: I take some time just for me and my passions, and it's easier in that way to wanna help others too. Sometimes I still become selfish, but just when I'm too tired and stressed out
I’m an ENFP and took the cloverleaf test and they said I was INFP ( 50% on introversion). Which I’m not really surprised about because ENFP’s are like the most introverted extroverts. But I’ve taken more tests that put me as ENFP which I definitely identify more with. My brain is on Ne autopilot all the time, seeing the world for all it’s possibilities. But I rely heavily on Fi to make decisions and won’t do something that doesn’t feel morally right to me personally or goes against my values.
I feel you too! I resonate with Ne as autopilot. I always get 50% Extrovert but I also always get 50% Feeling.(basically xNxP). I clash with Ti and Fi sometimes and it makes me feel like I'm insincere due to my inconsistency.
I’m an ISTP, and one of my best friends is an INFJ. She calls me her “interpreter” because I can listen to all of her rambling Ni plans, ask clarifying questions, and then distill what she is attempting to communicate down to one or two sentences. After which, I provide suggestions about bringing her vision into material reality. It’s odd to me how an INFJ can become so bogged down in planning insignificant details while leaving the key points of their plan vague.
My sister is an ENFJ and I'm an INFP. When we were young it seemed like I was constantly embarrassing her and she frequently upbraided me for not being sensitive to what other people thought and felt. Yet there were times when she was very critical and harsh about others when I could much more easily empathize with their feelings, especially if someone behaved awkwardly or was lacking in social graces. I now understand that these are probably classic examples of conflict between dominant Fe and Fi.
As an INFP I: 1) Did skip to my type 😂 2) Understood that Gilligan's island reference 🏝️ I personally didn't relate. I would rather not say anything to avoid conflict, especially if I was the only one out of the group that had a problem with it.
I am apt to go along with other people's choices because being with the people is more important to me than the food. Besides that, I like many different ethnic types of food. But if the restaurant is grubby, or the food is below par, or the music is obnoxious or too loud, I object and won't go there. Since nobody wants to get food poisoning or eat food that doesn't taste good, or have to shout to be heard, it's not hard to get them to choose another restaurant.
ENTJ here, these videos are really helping me to better work with people and therefore be a more efficient & successful boss. Thanks FJ for all your help /videos!!
If you are an ENTJ then efficiency is not what you need to work on but your sense of identity + internal value / desire. Te doms are prone to losing themselves in external work.
I have a hard time being able to tell how I’m coming across sometimes or why people may respond negatively to something I do that I don’t personally feel is negative. And because I have a very dominant personality, most people don’t want to or simply won’t tell me why people are reacting negatively to some of the things that I do. So these videos are helping me to see myself from others perspective which helps me see where I can adjust in order to better get along with others in my profession.
I remember going to the grocery store with someone who hated who I was entirely (I came to realize this later, pls don't blame me) and this person was perpetually annoyed by my systematic approach at scanning thru the aisles (always start at the furthest point away from the fastest cashier, then work your way down thru each aisle with a list and by the time you get to the last aisle, you are right in front of the fastest cashier and close to the door in order to get out) anyhow, I was always depressed bc this person made me feel that all I did was horrible, killing the joy of grocery shopping and eventually we ended up doing it her scattered way which took us 2 hrs more in avarage than my way. She made it seem like I was a robot for shopping this way. I can't express the level of joy I experienced when I discussed how I do my groceries with someone who actually understood what I was doing! I was saving up time to do other things that were not boring (anything else really, I didn't plan out this part) bc I was just eager to get on with the boring stuff the most efficient way so we could have fun for longer. Needless to say, that other relationship is over, but I just wanted to say how important it is when ppl don't box you in stereotypes and actually get to understand what you are doing and appreciate you for it.
SAME! I drive 8 miles out of my way to stay at the regular grocery store, even though the other is closer. I know where everything is...and if I do go somewhere new, I will plan my route, look at the menu (if it's a restaurant) before agreeing, and see what the peak times are for them being busy. Definitely plan, but leave early in case of traffic, make sure I have an alternate dish if needed, etc.
@@joshpatrick8809 I always look up menus, too! I love how easy it is to do with google maps, especially when there’s actual customer photos of the food so I know what it expect.
16:02: “[INFJs and INTJs] are planning so that they don’t have to interact too much with reality in real time.” *me:* I’m listening… (from the future!) Ni Dominance: 1; Reality: 0
As an ENFP that likes writing stories, I find it hard to concentrate on just one project at a time because I have so many ideas form from one idea, and end up neglecting the first project for awhile until I work out the new ideas
As an INFP there are certain subjects that I do follow on with (I would've had the Mexican lol). I think it's more when someone questions my morals or my life habits 😅
Could totally relate to INTJ and INFJ. I seem to have a hard time DOING stuff if I don't plan my course first. My mind have a tendency to go totally blank in some situations that are new or even slightly pressured. Not meaning that my plans are always accurate or that I always follow them... they are just for safety
Point out the error, and risk being thought rude, or let someone go about their life with incorrect or incomplete information. The struggle is real. -INTP
So true about the INFJ and INTJ. I always have to plan out in my head before I leave the house for most limited interaction with reality. Especially grocery shopping 😂🤣
INFJ here. You did not have to call me out like that. 😭 I spent more time planning out how I would articulate an issue with my bank account over the phone with a banker than I did planning for my major.
phone call is like a hell place for me. especially if my mom pushes me to do it right away like, “give me time to construct every possible outcomes. and that would be 2 working days please.”
That example for the INFP is spot on. I'm the person who answers with "wherever you guys want to eat but... *gives list of things I don't like*." I now understand a bit more what my friends mean when they tell me I'm too honest.
ISFP being stubborn with things they don't want to do something they don't want to do while being ourselves is so me. I hate repressing myself, like in my current living space with my family.
I think ISFJ's are often touted as pushover's when we're just extremely patient (though, lord help you if you finally push that boundary). I also think our organization skills stem more from the need to create a predictable outcome. Nothing stresses me out more than a party or event that goes awry, and everyone's upset. Do you know how stressful that is to a sensing type? So I plan even the tiniest details, hoping to cater to everyone's specific needs. In the end, I want everyone to go home happy!
As a ISTP, I sadly have to say my ISFJ sister is complete pushover and always thinks she can command me around when I already know what I have to do and when I have to do it. ISFJs also give way too much advice and try to control your life, My sister never let's me breathe.
I’m an INTJ so I can relate to the Extroverted Thinkers. People ask me for help (I’m talking about school appointments) and I’m like “Why did you do that?”, which may sound rude but I’m just curious as to how they came to that result. I proceed to explain the way I do it, which is not the way we were taught of how we’re supposed to do that but it’s the fastest way.
As an infj, this is too true. I half-plan things out and then just let it pan out in a natural way. I’m writing a book series and the outline is amazing, but trying to work on the details has been definitely a problem. Thankfully, my entp counterpart is wonderful at teaching me how to do that with their perfectionism :)
Same with me. I'm working on a comic and I basicaly know how story will end. But details are problem for me now. I believe that "Don't wait for inspiration. It comes while working"
Infp type here, I spend heaps of time with myself, but when I have to be on gatherings I tend to just go with the flow. I might mutter something and maybe complain to my other half if it's something that I find annoying. But how I do stand up for my values is doing things quietly. Or let others know what I will be doing and they're welcome to do whatever they want. I'm very smiley and friendly and happy to help others whenever I can that generally puts people at ease. I have never been told I am selfish, so I find that stereotype so weird.
Thanks for showing a positive side of ENTJ. I'm currently trying to be less pushy with my ideas when the other person doesn't want to follow them right away. I let them failed before to push the idea again. However they don't seem more happy when they see that my ideas works and I'm still frustrated for the amount of time and energy wasted. So I'm not sure it's the best way to handle it. It would be great if could do a series of 16 videos on how to convince or better communicate to each other personality. Thank you.
as in istp with an almost 50/50 of e and i, I would like to say the intp/istp part is very accurate. I love meeting new people and talking to them, but sometimes i get lost in thought and accidentally ignore them and push them away. Not fun, but very true!
As an infj thanks for clearing up the notion of planning. I like to be prepared for when I leave the house, because I want to avoid interacting with ppl. True story. My life plan, however, has some serious gaps, and that's OK, because I like the idea of being open/ free to potential changes in opportunities and life paths.
It's always interesting to hear that Fi doms are seen as selfish when Fi as the dominant function is the spot where it is most developed and most able to map emotions. As an INFP, I usually go with the flow and can "read the room" which is that Fi + Ne working correctly. I have found that Fi gets selfish the lower it is in the cognitive stack because it isn't as developed ("baby Fi"). So Fi in the 3rd and 4th would be more of what is stereotypically seen as Fi selfishness - INTJ, ENTJ, ISTJ, and ESTJ. :)
Yes, all of the functions behavior differently in the stacking order so it's such an intrigue to see how they present themselves! Ne for example, in low Ne types (ISTJ, ISFJ), you'll see inf Ne come out as a spurt of random thoughts. They get quite creative and I say oddly quirky with these tangent of thoughts. It's a deviation from their normally structured thought patterns of Si.
This can be true. Some poorly developed Te-doms can be very childish and petulant with their Fi - and very narrow in the range of the emotional spectrum they recognize and understand, in themselves and others - in a way that looks very immature to me as an INFP. That said, people of any type can be selfish (or not), and every single function can be used in 'selfish' ways. The degree to which Fi is self-serving compared to other functions gets seriously overblown by mischaracterizations of this function.
Frank, this is one of your most helpful videos yet, in my opinion. Way to go! I think that you really got to the heart of each of the dominant cognitive functions.
The INTJ one is so accurate. I talk about all these things that I want to do and then ppl ask me how I’m going to get there and that part is hella hazy. I have my end goals in mind and a plan that I want it to happen, but I can’t say for certain how it will happen
Infj here. My dad is an intj and what you said is true. Us ni dominant users do plan but we think of the endgoal like you said and we only plan something carefully if it has to do with the unknown real world. Knowing my dad, if I were to ask him to take me to a new place he is unfamiliar with, he would probably ask me like where is the parking lot, how long will he have to wait before he picks me up, etc...
I love this kind of topic because it not only helps correct any unbalanced viewpoints I hold but also makes it easier to determine whether I’ve typed myself or a loved one well. As an INTJ, it’s my high-feeling family members I find the most confusing, so the part about disliking the Mexican restaurant is hugely helpful. Oh, yes. I can mostly hold it together to get through a new grocery store, but I can guarantee you I’m deep diving into everything a new vacation spot has to offer months in advance to avoid getting stressed out-even if I only end up doing one or two of the dozens of options. I want to experience the best without being frazzled or disappointed by getting sucked into anything cheesy.
As an entp who used to think they're an intj I'm actually not flakey. I drop things because I don't want to do them and also because I constantly rearrange in my mind what's most fun and important for me to do. I used to finish all my projects and be a perfectionist and then I realised its limiting and doesn't actually bring more beneficial outcomes most of the time and was really draining of my energy. When my energy could be distributed so much better simply by allowing it to be distributed across many things simultaneously
@@maggotreynolds9749 Nah that's only with things that only concern me. If other ppl r involved I usually don't flake and if I make plans with a friend I 90% of the time wouldn't flake. I'm quite reliable. I allow myself to be flakey when I know there won't rly be consequences or when the benefits of flaking outweigh the costs. I wouldn't rly call it flaking in general its more like distributing my energy strategically with a work smart not hard attitude, maximizing efficiency lol
Perhaps that's true BUT I've also come across blissfully oblivious NFPs who fail to see themselves objectively. For example, they will fail to notice clear distress in a person while genuinely saying things like "I am a super empath who is too tuned in to others for my own good". Or another example: an ENFP who believes she never truly wronged anybody being very rude and hurtful to a lot of people. But in her own subjective Fi self-image, she is innocent and actually quite self-sacrificing. Those were real life examples.
Same tbh. I think it's more selfish to do something you don't want to do cuz, you're gonna bring down the mood for everyone cuz their gonna be like "o didn't realize you didn't like that" and then everyone gets annoyed or sad
@@timefortee Failure to see clear distress on a person doesn't really mean we don't see it at all. For an INFP like myself, I 'feel' alot of emotions from people but we often get conflicted handling/confronting them about it on the spot (Se trickster). Unlike NFJs with Se, who can act upon such situation almost immediately. NFPs tend to have this need of relating / "experiencing it first" (Si) before understanding what's really happening. We are empathic but we don't often sympathize (Fe nemesis)
@@timefortee I said we don't "often". It's not like we don't sympthize at all, but since we have our own biases which is our top 4 functions. We tend to only show it if a situation aligns or relates to our Fi and Si
INFJ here. Your assessment of us is quite accurate. And a close friend is an ISTJ. My observations of her cause me to think that her adherence to “tradition” is, on a deep level, rooted in..... the best way I can describe it is an inner sense of vulnerability which causes her to desire security and stability above all...... predictability.
As an ESFP I agree that just trying is the best way of learning. Just know some basic facts and conceptions and just try something. It somehow always work out
I think it's really, really cool how well you work with and explain well the truths sometimes even though you're working with and using a broken system that was handed to you
As an INTJ I relate so much to planning things out so I don't have to deal with it in real time. If I go to some new place I make sure to take a look on Google Maps or street view so I know which exact door I'm looking for, which is the best way to cross a busy intersection etc. It's such an easy thing to do and it removes so much anxiety from my life.
As an INFP, I've become much better at the whole brutal honesty about what I think thing, mostly because it became a running joke in my family and made people annoyed with me and made me feel isolated, so now I do manage to white lie about things like Mexican food, although I do sometimes lie about big philosophical concepts and how I see the world, but it makes me intensely uncomfortable and unhappy. I just wanna say what I think without everyone leaving! And I loved the video!
I think what you said about Fi doms in this video could also apply to Ti doms. I'm an INTP who just so happens to be a picky eater. However, I'd tag along with the group to the Mexican restaurant (or in my case, a vegan place or a place that mostly serves spicy food) but instead of complaining, I'd break off from the group and seek out an Italian restaurant or grab something from a nearby gas station, fast food place or Starbucks and just chill there until my group is done eating then meet up with them later.
INFJ here and... I have to say I really plan almost everything. And also 1y, 2ys, 5 years in the future. I also have to say I liked the idea of planning things years ago but I used to procastinate a lot.. Until 2~3 years ago that I decided to do it seriously(mainly to improve some healthy habits as I used to be sick). From there, my plannings increased. And I really don't regret it. Actually I'm glad that I made that choice and stayed stick to my plans cuz it helped me a lot. And I guess it depends on the person and the situation. So not all INFJ are the same nor all have the same environment/lifestyle/thoughts/etc. So some INFJ plan things and others not. I used not to plan. But now I do.
As an INFJ, I often look for plane ticket to foreign countries, the hotel that I'd stay in, how to get to that recommended restaurant from my hotel, choose what I wanna eat, what's my plan for day 1, 2, and the rest, how much time should I spend in that museum and where to go next? the thing is that I'm not going there, at least not anytime soon, but if I go to that specific country someday, I'd come prepared 😭
True, but also I hate itinerary vacations. I definitely need to know where I'm going to be sleeping and that the room is for sure going to me, but I just need to chill, maybe find a restaurant on accident. Just explore... But with a general goal in mind lol
As an ISTP, I have been accused of being tactless. In my office, when my colleagues and I need to discuss something with the supervisor (such as not wanting to travel 2 hrs to the head office for a meeting, when we could meet at another office centrally located), they have me bring it up. I am an “I” but without any qualms or problems with conflict if I believe I’m right.
As an INFJ with an ENTJ dad, you were spot on when you said their Te questions can be VERY irritating at times haha😂 I'm just like "what compelled you to ask such a dumb question??" Now I know it just rubs my Ti the wrong way!
Omg it all makes so much sense! I'm an INFP, my husband is ISTJ. And I always get so frustrated when i suggest to live in a van full time or move to Japan, but he just wants a house in a countryside. He's probably just more practical. And every time we have arguments he calls me selfish so I have to show him this video, so he stops, cuz that ain't true. Also my boss is ENFJ and mostly it's a smooth sailing, but sometimes I am the only one who isn't down for whatever he suggests, but I also don't wanna be difficult so i just go with it, just less passionate then the others. Thank you so much for your video FJ!
As an INFP, even if I don't want those "Mexican Restaurant", I'll just say yes to them but most likely not to enjoy the food-for me, it is important to know WHAT I TRULY FEEL. And I don't think I need to express it to others unless they cross some boundaries
7:27 well as an INFP I'd actually say it like "I don't really like Mexican food but we can go, I'm just not gonna eat, I'm just gonna have fun being with you" (and no, not to make them say "well we can do something else", I genuinely mean that) Or I'll just never bring that up and when it's my turn to order I don't and then spend the rest of the time explaining to people that I'm truly ok with it and I'm just here to have fun Yeah, idk how healthy that is, but it's how I do it, the best case scenario for me is them not noticing I didn't order And again, I don't mean this in a sour/sad way at all, I'm genuinely ok with that and I'll make sure everyone understands that so no one will feel uncomfortable eating near me because I'm not eating
I swear your vids keep getting better and better Frank, I feel like you really hit the nail on the head with all these types. As a typology nerd I can only aspire to have as much knowledge about MBTI / jungian cognitive functions as you do. Keep up the good work.
ESTP here. The misconception you showed is true based on my experience. Sometimes when my family or friends ask me for an advice, I would give them one that's different/unexpected to them and when they ask me why, I would just say 'been there done that, and it solved my problem eventually'.
Planning out the trip to the grocery store made me laugh. I'm an INTJ, as was my dad, & to this day I do the same thing he did: write out my grocery list grouped by aisle.
@@altitudeiseverything3163 i know my supermarket by heart. I just wander around familiar aisles and get everything I need. Fast and easy. Also, a list of things I seldom buy as back up.
@@kimquim2803 “I just wander around” is a concept my brain can’t quite process. 😂 I know my grocery aisles well, too, but I’d still miss items if I didn’t go with a well-organized list. The lights, the people, the music…. all are distracting and make me lose focus. You have an enviable memory! 👍
@@altitudeiseverything3163 But if I don't wander around, I'll never discover fun things I couldn't have planned on! An aisle where I know the arrangement is a very boring aisle. 😂 ~an ENFP
"They're planning so they don't have to interact too much with reality in real-time". Wow, that's one of the most concise explanations of the Ni-dom that I've ever heard. I've never thought about it that way before.
The thing with INFPs is that the same principle that motivates them to stick to their own thing when it's a problem for everyone else, also motivates them to stick to their own thing when it's not easy for *them*.
I definitely related to the Te Dom example. We often want to help, and love improving things for people, but with demon Fe it doesn't come out in the most caring way.
As an INTJ, I can confirm you are describing my life. I do have an end point, but the process of getting there is still in planning and subject to change. Some people don't understand that
As an INTP, what you said actually does come familiar to me. I often correct people which leads to misunderstandings and sometimes arguments. I love being a part of a community or friend circle (as long as it small) but getting along with others isnt exactly my best trait.
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Lol I had people ask me what I’m
Doing and I’m an infj . I only ask people how to do something if I don’t know what I’m doing .
But I am ATTRACTIVE Frank! Hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahaha 😇🥰
"At least I hope" and proceeds to laugh cutely. FRANK JAMES WHY ARE YOU SO CUTE THAT WAY!!?? 😡😡
Frank! I get the Gilligan’s Island joke haha
😄
You really hit the nail for the INTP part. I can't speak for the ISTPs out there, but as and INTP, I tend to struggle with anxiety issues revolving around whether I should point out my thoughts or opinions on something or not. I debate over how I can word it without coming off as rude for a long time that I end up not saying it at all. Even when I know a person is wrong, I'm afraid to spark arguements and unnecessary conflict which leads to my reserved nature.
ISTP here and I can relate! I'm very aware of other people and tend to avoid confrontation, but at the same time I don't try to actively get to know people better. So I don't care about other people, as long as I'm not involved. xD
As an INTP, this is exactly why I don’t have any social media accounts other than UA-cam. You have to put even MORE thought into what you say there than in person.
@B Your comment made me intrigued of your character. This is the first time I've seen someone say they care about others while also admitting that they don't care about their feelings. Though that's a given considering I used to be like that as a child. I cared about my friends' wellbeing but I didn't care if I had to be harsh to them whenever I wanted to point them out on their bs.
INFP here and I'm an enneagram 4w5, so I relate to INTP's more than other INFP's, but I think I can help.
I think the way to avoid conflict while still attempting to correct a logical inconsistency is to bring it up in a light that doesn't make the other person or people feel inept, and to package it in a nice tone of speaking.
Example:
Instead of, _"Wait, no no no, that's not correct, this is"._
This can be said, _"Just remember it's this, not this, ok?"_
Coworker flips out on my smol mistake.
me internally... fking hell should I tell him chill, no need for curse words and technically he made the situation worse when he could have fixed it sooner :/ nah not going to argue with someone who's angry :/
INFJ 😆 I have literally done this exact over-planning for an unfamiliar grocery store scenario. It’s not even an exaggeration.
Se grip hello 😆
idk if i do this because im an INFJ or because my anxiety is so bad
does every INFJ have anxiety then?? this has to be an anxiety thing
I had to take a test, so I visited the exam center 2 days before the test. It definitely helped.
Also, I am not a cowardly person, but I almost always drag my sister (ESFJ) with me if I am going to a place the first time. Its so annoying to her. After the first time, I am totally fine going by myself, even at night.
Female INTJ
Due to having too much time on my hands, I often plan my interactions, which adds to my disappointment when these plans don't come true. Lately I've been trying to dive head-first into things more, which helps build my self-esteem.
I have done this too, especially when I was younger (and not THAT much younger lol). I probably lived in my shadow function too much, while younger. (I am ENFP tho)
INTJ here; a couple weeks ago, I literally looked up a new restaurant on Google Maps so I could check the satellite images to see what the parking lot was like to know whether I’d have to park on the street or which direction I needed to approach the restaurant from in case the parking lot was one way only. You’ve certainly got my number, Frank! 😂
Same with me, when I travel I look up the bus stops and how to get from A to B exactly - like every single step - in advance. So when I get there I know precisely where to go.
I feel sometimes I get lost in the detail planning but it also saves a lot of time because I don’t have to ask for the way
im INTJ too and i did the exact same thing lol
I did this for my trip to China. I also watched UA-cam videos to get a better understanding of the route I was taking from the airport to the hotel I would be staying at. I also printed directions and had them translated. It was like taking the trip before I even went. -INFJ
Holy shxt I love this so much hahaha do the same thing!
I do this all the time. 😂😅
As an INTJ this was extremely spot on lmao
Wooo Intj crew
Timestamps:
1. 2:00 ESFP & ESTP
2. 3:36 ISTJ & ISFJ
3. 5:16 ENFJ & ESFJ
4. 6:17 INFP & ISFP
5. 8:32 ENTJ & ESTJ
6. 10:51 INTP & ISTP
7. 12:54 ENFP & ENTP
8. 14:42 INTJ & INFJ
Love your vids btw frank!
Thanks for the time stamps
@@hamoodyrody yup
Not to judge you at all but why do this when each type is already time stamped in the video? Like I get that this was really handy before UA-cam offered this feature but now that it’s offered, why add time stamps to the comments when it’s already in the video?
- ENTJ
@@EllePlowPlow I think they commented this for likes despite the time stamps being there. You see, there’s some people who can’t seem to find the stamps, maybe they didn’t know the new stamps feature existed.
-INFJ (I just realized ur the extroverted personality type of me lol.)
thank you! you timestampers need to start leaving your type subside i’m curious to know who you all are 😂
I N F P
As an INFP it’s true that we tend to get stubborn when don’t like something, but most of the time we’re too shy to really say anything. We’re just as willing as INFJs to put others’ needs before our own, at least in the short term-I’m usually the last to care which restaurant the group goes to. We value social harmony just as much as ENFJs, and we HATE being perceived as the problem. If we think we’re causing social conflict, we internalize this deeply. It’s only when the group’s values are at odds with our identity that we feel the need to say something, and usually there’s a whole internal conflict we have to process first. A better example would be if an INFP was really excited about seeing their favorite indie band, but the group decides to go to a football game instead.
Your example hurts me - INFP
That's true. So is in politics/religious/etc talk situation, while we're unlikely to say we agree with you, we would just let you say whatever you want because we don't want conflict and also because we respect other people's subjective truth. Like, yeah I don't necessarily agree Te-wise but Fi says that you have the right to like what you want to like.
I agree with you
You don’t speak for all Fi doms. I’m an *asshole**
I’m glad you point out the planning thing about INFJ 😅
I’ve always find it weird that everyone says we plan everything like very far in the futur… because as a person who really looked at many mbti content for finding out my type and who is pretty sure of being INFJ, I feel like i never ever plan things in the time… i do think a lot about it but it’s hard for me to be sure of what to do, so i tend to just procratinating about that…
And that’s a major insecurity
I just feel like i’m too scared about failing to follow my plans so i just don’t plan, and try to let myself go with others plans..
But maybe it’s because i struggle for being confidente in front of others too by saying what i would like to do…
I get you! I always feel like I’m “bad” at being an INTJ because I don’t have a 5-year/10-year plan. I just don’t have any ambitious goals that would require that kind of planning. But I do overplan for things that stress me out, like driving around a new place, or going to a new doctor.
I am, however, incredible at planning a vacation! I am the queen at making sure everyone’s vacation style is catered to, and having contingency plans on contingency plans. The key is to schedule time for spontaneity and mishaps. I’ve literally had someone apologize for messing up my timetable only for me to reply, “Don’t worry. I planned for this.” 😂 So, while I’m bad at making far-flung future plans for me, I’m pretty good at making plans for specific situations.
@@HeartlandHunny I rely to driving/doctor part. But for holidays and travels the only things I like to plan are hotels and transportation... do not want to sleep in a shitty place only because I was too lazy to book xD but once that the most important things are done, I am okay with enjoying the journey with no particular plans
Best mbti channel out there
True, most of the time i only plan for my daily routine or when I'm about to go or do something that makes me worried or nervous (I'm planning to avoid any silly dumb mistakes). But for future? Tbh, i don't really have a solid plan for that because we can't really predict what's really going to happen to us. There are so much possibility or route in our life based on our decision. Sometimes a route that we want to avoid is the best route for us to be happier.
Wow I've never heard anyone say what I've been literally feeling for decades!!!! I often feel myself just not planning... even in high-school it was super hard to picture any one specific focus or career path. I used to tell my academic advisors my mind literally went black. My fear in making the wrong choice comes from my household, and that enables me to not make any choice or plan. Very stagnant. I am, however, good with directions and maps - I have a BA in human Geography.
INFJ here! I completely agree with FJ that we are commonly seen as good planners when in reality, I am not! Lol I am trying to plan a big surprise birthday party for a family member and I have this grand vision of what I want it to look like and I have the date picked out for it, so I have a time frame I have to get it all done in. But.....I hate the minute details that go into putting everything together. Like ordering decorations and knowing when to send out invites and what to say in them. The fact that I detest dealing with details such as these also makes me a huge procrastinator, haha! This also can apply to every day life like when I go places, I am usually late because I procrastinate having to get ready to go, even if I am excited for the destination/event in and of itself! And I completely agree that we are excellent planners in real-time when faced with uncertainties. When I was in school and rode the bus, I would plan in my head how I would get off so that I wouldn't get ran over or passed up and have to awkwardly wait for everyone to ignore me and not let me out, but also try to not overcompensate by running someone over or looking like a crazy person jetting off of the bus, haha! So stressful!
I hate party planning so much I’ve never done it since my wedding 20 years ago. All those silly details that can derail the fun far more than any spoon has a right to do!
The only way I do vacations is to start way ahead and break packing into bite size groups. Best of luck on your event. I hope they feel your love!
@@CheriFields I hated planning my wedding too!! I completely agree!!
That is a really good idea, I will have to try that next time I pack for a trip!! Aw, thank you so much!!
Yep. Trying to plan my daughter's birthday party. If we have it in the park because people are still getting Covid, that means I'll have to buy certain types of containers to carry the cakes, and find a way to keep the bugs off the food, and so on...
@@hannahwatson265 my oldest is an ENFP. We share this weakness (and wouldn’t trade our strengths for anything). For her it’s school assignments. So, I often slow her down and remind her how to eat an elephant. 😄
Oh, yes, none of my 7 kids mind that I don’t do parties-other moms don’t do what I do with them.
@@lorigoshert6667 Wow, I do not envy the detail that will have to go into planning that! I have every confidence you will pull it off seamlessly, though!! I know it will be perfect and your daughter will be over the moon with happiness!! 🥰
As an INFP, thanks for telling people that we aren’t selfish, we’re just trying to be honest. Normally, if it was the restaurant situation you used, I would say “I’m not a fan of Mexican places but I wouldn’t want to ruin your lunch. How about we go there today and then go get (example place) tomorrow? I would really appreciate it.” You do great FJ! Love your videos!
Edit: I’ve been reading these comments and I would like to add that INFPs in general would rather not show their emotion. Just like this, I feel like most INFPs would react the same way with their opinions. They would have the opinion but depending on the social situation be too scared to show it or they feel strongly abt it so they bring it up. To prevent arguments, they will just be assertive sometimes.
Edit 2: WOAH!!! 500 LIKES?! WTF?!
I don't think Frank is even right about Fi-doms being the most likely to go against the group that assertively. Most of us are inclined to go with the flow in most situations that are low-stakes and not some threat to our core values or identity. Or at least be hesitant and polite in expressing that we don't like the thing. I've been in that type of situation many times and usually just gone along with it or maybe been less than enthusiastic at the suggestion, maybe offered up another possibility, but never the kind of staunch resistance portrayed here. It doesn't really matter; it's an easy thing to compromise on.
@@Multitudes_ yes
@@Multitudes_ I would agree on that statement.
@@looperbirhinger7043 That really depends. It's more likely with immature versions of these types. Also depends on the situation. I for one do have strong personal tastes but can still compromise with people in social settings. For example, if someone wants to watch a movie I'm not interested in, I will often go along with it if they seem very interested since it will make them happy and it's not a big deal, and usually my main goal when spending time with a loved one is just... spending time with them. But if someone recommends that I watch something I have no interest in on my own time, I am unlikely to do it.
Also, I think ISFPs are more likely than INFPs to have matters of taste as core values or things they define themselves by, so there could be some differences between these types here.
“Thank you for spreading a message by reaching out to a vast diverse group of other infps. Truly making a difference”
As an ENFP I have found out that I am oddly perfectionistic with a lot of things. Even my friends have started pointing it out. But somehow at the same time it feels like ENFPs and ENTPs are very sloppy and absolutely not perfectionistic because sometimes we just HAVE to finish stuff and if we do we rush it out the door asap (or we ask for extra time, which usually we ask far too late).
You are still correct btw, just wanted to add smth extra to it
As an enfp the perfectionist thing is weird and took me a long time to realise it. I think when it cones down to do things that we have set our minds on we want to do it well because it can be hard in general to stay focused.
I think bcs of our Fi aux function, we value every project we work on. That leads to wanting to make everything perfect. We value our ideas and that leads to perfectionistic. But sometimes when the steaks are high and pressure is near our Te may come out and be like, just finish the work and rush it all. Idk ENTPs since I'm not them, but that's my understanding on why ENFPs are perfectionistic but sometimes just go full blown finish the job don't care anything mode -ENFP
I am an ENTP, and that statement really just clicked with me. I have never thought of myself as being a protectionist (quite the opposite compared to my ISTJ friend), but I have always had those moments where people tell me that I am way too perfectionistic. Now I am starting to realize that it may just be another type of perfectionism, a way that is not commonly talked about, that is usually thought of as being the opposite. Interesting🧐
Edit: I accidentally wrote to instead of too.
I relate to this 1000%
Omg this is so true. I think teachers hated me in school for always asking for extra time for a project😹
Entp. Yes, it took me a while to realize that I have a problem with perfectionism. But I won this by realizing that I value experimenting more. And this means being more open and accepting half steps and failures
Enfp, and same here
ENTP here. I just did a challenge where I made a small experimental game prototype every day for a week and it was one of the best things I have ever done. (Also one of the most exhaustive things but whatever.)
@@barigamb challanges work great against perfectionism!
@@barigamb omg ,same with motion graphics projects ! Just is what I'm doing right now
ENTP here as well. I like experimenting with perfection. I'm perfect
As an INFJ I have an exact picture in my mind of the career I want and what it looks like. I have the resources, talent and experience for it. But I can't make myself take the practical steps needed to get to that place. The details loom much bigger and are much more threatening to me than the obvious, bigger picture. And you hit the nail on the head with the "smaller" plans. If I want to cook a meal or get a bite to eat I know what I want, it forms a picture in my mind so specific I can practically taste it. Then I go looking for the food but instead I see all these other options and they don't match my inner picture and that drives me crazy. I pass up many reasonable options because they aren't precisely what I want. Like today I wanted a coffee shop that served breakfast but all the coffee shops only serve coffee by itself. I could have gone to a restaurant that served coffee but I didn't want that either. So after examining every one of the menus online and all the photos, I finally gave up and made myself breakfast at home. Alternatively I can find myself completely overwhelmed by sensory stimuli in a store or something to the point where I feel I have lost touch with my identity. I need my mental image of my surroundings to be as strong as, or equal to, the actual surroundings for me to feel "normal." Sensory objects for me have to have a purpose or it's like they aren't really real. But a misconception is that I as an INFJ don't sense my surroundings. I sense them just fine but they just don't matter to me as much as how they fit into what I'm doing with my life and my goals, which is first and foremost.
Is it just me, or do all INFJ’s make mental maps of the places they have been? When I go somewhere new, I always find myself making a map so I don’t get lost later on.
@@atlas5745 I’m still unclear of my personality but I feel you. I also have the tendency of memorizing new place so that I don’t get lost by myself. but, how I make that mental map is still very unclear to me because it’s not really something I actively involved as if it’s an auto pilot mode. but then it’s not really something I’m completely unaware of. Idk how explain it.
and sometimes, I am able to ‘see’ the whole area so that I have another option for situation where I do get lost. but the way I ‘see’ the area is not necessarily go to every road possible. my brain just somehow captures the surrounding, then they make a map as if they’re aerial photos where I see them from above. then my brain would try to make the most sense out of everything I see and connect all the roads mentally.
@@atlas5745 it’s natural that’s just how their wired
I completely agree! I have exact picture of what I want as my career, but when it comes to taking practical steps, i become very anxious!! What should I do??
@@YoursTAngel I have exact picture of what career I wanted as well but I realised I had to do all those practical steps and that scares me and then I ended up telling myself “well, not gonna do that.” it drives me crazy.
As an ISTJ, I really appreciate your assessment of the Si types. I'm not against change, for the sake of maintaining tradition, I just like to stick with what I know works. But if I can see that a new way of doing something is clearly better than what I've been doing, then I'm totally open to change
My husband now factors in time for me to consider a new idea before I make a ruling on it these days. Because if you press for one immediately, then it's always "It's different. I hate it." :D But after a couple of days of sitting on it, I am generally willing to at least discuss the pros and cons. As for people who are like "yay, new!", I do not get it _at all_.
Exactly, we may hate it when changing circumstances ruin our plans, it might take us longer to adapt to changes in our physical space and our playlist may be filled with nostalgia (btw, that and going to new places are the two areas where I have noticed the "it might grow on me even if I am not sold on it now" effect, as far as ideas go I am willing to discuss them right away) but the way some people are talking about us it is like our computers are still running Windows XP (tbf, that wallpaper and layout would be pretty nostalgic...) and we still dont have smartphones or something. We have auxiliary Te too lads, we can figure out that a new way of doing something can be an improvement too. I get stereotypes are exaggerated for the purpose of comedy but still. Another one I hate is that we are apparently incapable of making a joke for some reason, the fact that we might "overanalyse" a joke (aka want it to actually make sense and be funny) doesnt mean we never make jokes. Also pretty annoying how INTJs are portrayed as far cooler than us and we are just boring accountants but they are still at the top of my list of types I d like to meet irl
I completely agree on the "I just like to stick with what I know works" part, If it's easy for me to do then there's no reason to change it up unless something wrong happens or I get bored. If it ain't broke don't fix it.
@@edi0157 the intuitive types will always be portrayed as “cooler” (intuitive bias) but irl, that’s not the case ;)
I'm very if it ain't broke don't fix it. Especially if you're someone who doesn't even work in my area and come in and changes everything around on me, just cause they think it's better. You don't work here, how do you know how things need to be done!
INFP here, I usually go with the flow to avoid conflict. But there have been times when I've been honest when I shouldn't. Once when I was student teaching there was lice going around the class. The main teacher was trying to explain to the children that lice was no big deal, everyone has had lice, she herself has had lice, etc. Then she pointed to me and said, I bet you've had lice, too, right? This was my que to say, of course I have! But alas, I blurted out honestly....no I haven't. Only realizing a moment later that I probably wasn't supposed to be honest in that particular moment and that I was supposed to let those kids struggling with lice feel better. This probably doesn't relate to being honest with your feelings, but I have felt guilty about this for years and had to get it off my chest. 😆
Ya'll make me feel better because I've felt bad about that for years! Haha! But you've made me think about the drive to be authentic for an infp. I've always disliked it when people dishonestly flatter others to win their approval. It just seems like an unfair way to make people like you. When I tell someone that I like their shoes, I mean it. If I don't like your shoes, I don't say anything. Sometimes when I read that infp's are all about being authentic, I question whether I am infp because I don't walk around letting everyone know my opinions, feelings, musical tastes, political views, etc. But perhaps these small ways of being honest are me being authentic. Who knows...
Hahah this is so cute ☺️ I feel you
the way kids are about lice is they will bully you for it. that teacher is clueless and mean. u have no reason to feel guilty. idk why she thought that was the way to calm people. not very smart on her part. if anything ppl would just be more worried, so it’s a good thing actually that you said uhm no i haven’t. she must not pay much attention to her classroom. I feel like what she was trying to do was poorly executed. she didn’t need to point at someone and say that, she should’ve known better as a literal teacher lol.
You did the right thing by telling the truth 💓 no person should expect you to lie.
@orv, inso's law, debut or die 👍 yep! Type 9!
I'm an ISFJ married to an ESFP. When we go on vacation, we make a deal that I plan half of it and the other half is spontaneous. Makes us both happy and appreciate the other's perspective.
Do you think maybe you could do a video on MBTI types and their relationships with mental illness/disorders? Like are certain types more susceptible to certain disorders and why you think that is? I think that would be a pretty interesting video to watch!
I think thats a reall good idea
But i think if u want frank to do that video
You should make your idea mor visible through *bold letters* or on line thing so that people would lik this comment and frank would notice
I hope for the sake of that video he doesn’t lump INFJs and INTJs together. When it comes to susceptibility to certain maladaptive psychological patterns they’re really quite different.
I think that would be a great idea. As an ENFP with Asperger's, I would like to see Frank's take on this.
@@Chigger the social quirkiness of the average ENFP can border on the Aspergic at times so I’m actually not terribly-surprised to read that comment. I think in any case ENFPs have a hard time reading feeling cues because of that Fi and the need to link whatever the feeling in the environment is back to them in order to really empathise with it but unlike other Fi-types who by their very nature are more likely to censor themselves and act in conformance with at least some sense of social propriety (INFPs for one) ENFPs can be quite bold about their social awkwardness from what I’ve kind of seen.
@@Chigger Wow, I personally know an autistic ENFP, it defies the stereotypes associated with the type for sure. Do you also happen to have older siblings of the same sex as you?
Information is powerful. But it is how we use it that will define us.
This is spot-on! For INTJ, I can tell you that I've been on a few road trips recently where I've had my route planned specifically but some of the basic details like where to sleep I literally would figure out the day of. We truly are experts of vague yet rigid plans LOL
Haha same thing here. I half plan stuff with a method to my madness. Nearly always works out just fine.
Can vouch for this as an infj. 10 years from now: crystal clear. Steps to get there: hazy at best 😂
Lol. So true!
Yes!! When work planning I can totally talk about the future plan - but the actual way to get there no idea!
Yeah this I relate to. I've got lots of ideas and thoughts about what I want to do in the future but figuring out the steps to get me there is where I struggle. I think it's because planning those steps, especially the most immediate steps, are more about the now and possibly human interactions which can be messy especially when it comes to needing help from others to get to where we need to be. It might cause confrontational situations, or simply others who either think our end goal isn't right, especially if it's more creative that traditionally practical.
@@deannascorner8112 haha i can relate. I once told my friend that i want to do a lot of things when i finish my study and my friend ask me how I'm going to do it and I'm like "idk 🤷"😂
Can vouch for the same as an INTJ lol. Also the problem is not the planning but actually doing the plan you have made for yourself
One of your best, especially true of my ISFJ sister. She is not a slave to tradition, she is exceptionally capable and practical. She regularly plans youth camps and they run perfectly. As a typical head in the clouds INFP, I rely on her a lot. Only today, she fixed my bike for me.
Conventional social order wouldn’t be a thing without ISFJs. They’re the glue that holds custom-propriety together. People who have ISFJ flatmates/housemates don’t know how lucky they are until they leave and suddenly the kitchen goes from being a haven in which you can eat heavenly-manna off the floor to something reminiscent of a bombed-about bathroom in Bangladesh or deepest Somalia. When they’re there ESFPs and INTPs are too busy moaning about them being too controlling and complaining about the noise so they tend not to realise how good they have it until the ISFJ finds somewhere else to live and no-one’s around to enforce necessary social order, tidy up after everyone and deep-clean the kitchen every Saturday morning.
The INTP one is insanely accurate for me, especially when I was younger. I was called 'rude' and 'antisocial' so many times that they were basically my nicknames for the majority of my time in school (teacher and students).
I honestly understand why these names were used when looking back on it, but I found it pretty annoying at times since I didn't understand why the people around me were so sensitive to me saying what I saw as the truth.
As an INTP i always want to look at other million scattered possibilities in all direction
And i also want others to notice it
And when i point out the holes in other's ideas they get offended
Also most peopl like to see the positive possibility and i always point out a counter negative possibility and people think im a negative person where all im trying to do is balance it
It doesnt have to do with putting anyone down or liifting myself up
Its just my mental need and frustration to look at every dimension
Yeah, like when you actually agree w/someone's ideas but you're pointing out some potential weaknesses in order to help them strengthen the idea. You're actually trying to help them but they think you're arguing against them... 😔
A simple rule of human behavior -- people want to hear THEIR ideas coming out of your mouth for validation. Whenever you suggest otherwise or go against what people think (differs in reactions from diff types of course), you're most likely poking at an innate & subconscious defensive mechanism relating to pride/ego, and as a whole, who they possibly are as a person.
@@SirChocula i am aware of that
Thats why i pick only certain situations to talk about the loopholes
Sometimes i have to choose not to talk about the loopholes whe i think emotinal satisfaction is more improtant here
And in other sitiatuons i choose to talk about the loopholes where the overall success of plan is cosidered important that individual ego
As another INTP, I often find myself surrounded by too many cynical people playing devil's advocate, so my counter is to point out the positives! XD Two sides of the same coin; this is how the INTP function stack (Ti Ne Si Fe) works. What it comes down to is trying to serve the discussion as a whole (Fe) by not leaving out any possibilities (Ne), thereby getting closer to the end goal of truth (Ti) and realism (Si). Because getting to the truth is what we all want out of the conversation, right?
... Right? Guys?!
@@WritingsOfQuill maybe that's why I often defend things I see people complain about too much.
This makes sense, my mom (an ESFJ) and I (an INFP) had a major conflict when she wants me to stay with her abroad and get a job there. I always say I don’t want to, but she insists just to make our family harmonious. She often says, “our family wants you to be here,” or “they’re happy if you’re here.” I confronted her, and she said I am selfish for my decision. Fast forward to now, i’m on my home country and she’s still living overseas but we’re okay.
I suggest that, regardless of what type you are, to say what you really want, never be afraid of conflicts as it is not guaranteed to not have one. All conflicts are going to be solved if you learn to communicate with the other party even if they don’t want to communicate theirs - it’s their loss, not yours!
Same here with my mom, everytime she goes shopping or on a trip she makes sure everyone comes with. Whoever tells her that they would rather join her on another day gets guilted into going anyways. LIKE WHYY??! how is that fun for ANYONE INVOLVED??
P. S. Sorry for rambling
@Not ✨ M Y ✨ hairy armpits sounds like both your mom and the OP's mom also project their own wants onto the whole family. Like, _she wants_ all of you to _want_ to go shopping together even if that's not what everyone actually wants. Or with OP's mom, _she wants_ OP to be with her but she's making it about the whole family because their feelings as a _group_ hold more weight in her mind.
Yeah, that is not a 'selfish' decision on your part, just unhealthy parenting (and actually a form of selfishness on their part). You have the right to your own independent life and identity separate from your family, and it would not be healthy to allow yourself to be convinced otherwise.
My own not-so-healthy ESFJ mother also got kind of offended when I moved a bit far from her, and it was a difficult adjustment for her, but she got used to it in the end and we're good now.
Yep, yep.. NODDERS
Sounds exactly like something my ESFJ mom would say 😅
About the Si dominants, yes this can be a huge misconception.
Speaking of my own experience (ISFJ), we are like the kids that rush to finish homework only so they have all the time free after without worrying. We create a safe basis so we can do whatever we want without worrying about practical things.
And about traditions...we do have a connection with past and see its value, or get emotional about it, but it doesn't mean we can't tell the faults in there or not question whatever is questionable. If nothing else I know for my self I question everything and without evidence or good arguments, I won't be convinced. And that applies to new ideas too. I am always supportive towards my intuitive friends/relatives ideas and hear them out, see their point of view, but to embrace it for myself, I do need proof that this idea will work in reality. Or help them find the way to make it work indeed. We aren't close minded, we are practical.
ISTJ here, I procrastinate a lot but the rest of that comment is on point especially for us as Te auxiliaries, if a method is truly better there is no reason not to adopt it. Expanding on the traditions point, honestly quite a few of the politeness/social rules make no sense to me for one, stuff like how we made paying for dates and helping people with chairs and doors at said dates into a gender thing for example is just weird, or how I have to make sure my clothes "fit together" color-wise and possibly do other changes as well like roll up the sleeves of shirts a bit at formal events, or how women are "forced" to wear high heels at such events despite how terribly uncomfy I heard they are etc. Idk, the whole clothing thing is a lost cause to me, just give me a T-shirt and some trousers I feel comfortable in and I will be fine, seriously, stop making it so complicated. Of course I get emotional over nostalgia (are there people that dont?), like celebrations like Christmas and Easter etc, but that doesnt mean I will blindly defend any traditions if they dont deserve it. On the intuitive ideas part, I actually even liked Philosophy that is an intuitive subject back in 12th grade, it is interesting to see how people think about life, human nature etc, it helps build a better worldview. I need clear reasoning/proof to be able to trust something though, idk how intuitives apparently have those "aha" moments without being aware of how they got there. Another thing I hate is how we are apparently boring accountants that cant crack a joke ever but that is an ISTJ stereotype in particular...
Exactly lol.
My ENFP daughter struggles with anxiety and perfectionism. She is also absolutely capable of following through with plans when she's in love with an idea.
Yup. We gotta be carried away by inspiration, and then there's no limit to the energy or potential.
That's the secret. We ENFPs need to be passionate about something. When our introverted Feeling is on fire, there is no stopping us! When our intuition and our values are not engaged, it is absolute torture to go through the motions of something which doesn't excite us. It's a struggle to let go of the anxiety we feel if we see something isn't working out the way we imagine it in our heads.
The other stereotype is definitely "some personalities are just emotionless robots" and as an ISTP, the reason why I don't show mine too much is that some of the emotions are just too complicated and I don't like doing something I hardly understand
Yeah, and sometimes I just don't show emotions worth showing or have no important meaning.
video idea for you: what each cognitive function looks like in people who have it as their dominate function vs. what it looks like in people where it's the inferior function.
It's easy for me to understand the weaknesses that come from my own inferior function, but I'm still learning to connect the dots for other types.
love your videos! you do great work.
"Don't want to interact with reality in real time." So accurate! There have been so many events I've missed because I couldn't figure out what the parking situation would be. What kind of monster just leaves that off the event description?
I have chosen not to go to certain gas stations, stores, hotels, etc because the parking was awkward or it was hard to get on the street from them.
the one time i didnt plan it out i got a $300 parking ticket… im never going to the city ever again.
I can't stop laughing at this description because it is so extremely accurate. My brain is always anywhere but here and "can I have it delivered" is basically my mantra. 🤣 I will spend hours researching and preparing for errands, so when I do leave the house, I can make a beeline for what I need to do, keep my head down, and get tf home. (INTJ)
As an infp it’s kinda funny, because I am more of a people pleaser. I always try to make everyone comfortable and I go along with their choices.
Stop doing that. It's never a good idea.
@@helenwood8482 yeah I know. Fun Fact I am soon going to therapy, so I can be more aware of my choices and my mind 💜
Wrong. You are a people pleaser because it makes you comfortable. Conflict makes you uncomfy, so you avoid that at all costs. That's fi.
@@raiontheone
This one gets it.
You’re probably enneagram 9. You prefer to maintain a sense of inner peace and harmony, and to avoid conflict. My mom is an INFP 9 and she is typically agreeable, calm, and easy to be around.
From my experience with unhealthy Fe in my family, these types can be complaining all the time about other people and what others have done to them. It is a misconception that they always bring joy and harmony to the group, as playing the victim all the time might actually get people to move away from them. Great job with your videos!
Let me guess, unhealthy xSFJ?
@@SirChocula Unhealthy ISFJ and ESFP mistyped as INTJs teamed up to cast hatred against the xNTJ, they were xNTJ's two best friends, they're probably fucking right now. This is my 50% sad story (I lost two friends but made it possible for a beautiful romance story to begin), thanks for your attention
agreed
@@wlwlwlw3908 wait this confused me. Are 2 friends in a relationship?
@@kv4648 Lmao idk if they're together because I cut ties with them, but it had everything going for it, ESFP x ISFJ is the ideal match and they shared a lot of common interests and psychological problems so I hope they get married, btw the reason they hated me so much was because I liked to philosophize and because they have intuition as an inferior function, abstract conversations are stressful for them. And that's a good way to detect xNxx mistypes, they hate to use their imagination
I LOVE INTJ's INFP's and INFJ's!!!! My Dad, Brothers, and Sister!!! - ENFP
I'm so lucky Frank!!!!!!
INFP here: this is true. I actually hadn't realized that I do this until you pointed it out! Just this morning my best friend (she's an ENFP) was telling me about Greek mythology. She asked me if I wanted to hear the story behind Apollo and Daphne, and myself not being very interested in the topic, I said "not really, but I know you're gonna tell me anyway, so it's fine." I just can't stand saying "yes" when I actually mean "no". Whenever I do it to keep the social situation going well, it feels excruciating tbh. Usually I try and compromise by telling someone what I feel, but politely and in a respectful manner, when I don't agree with something.
I am the same, hah. I've had people tell me before that I'm very blunt and I'm like "Well, would you rather me lie??" Does it ever bother you how some greetings/conversations are almost scripted? Often people will ask "how are you today?" And I am expected to be like "Good, how was yours?" but I despise that. I will actually answer and it's hilarious because it throws people off so much. Small talk is THE WORST.
@@valhudson001 SAME. When I'm not doing well, it hurts so much to say that I AM doing well! It's like lying to yourself! I hate that kind of situation.
@@valhudson001 The "How are you?" or "How's your day going?" talk really bothers me if it's meant to be small talk. Like, *how* do you answer the first with anything less than 100-150 words? It's one of the toughest questions for me to answer in short, and I can't even be honest to most people. Usually I reply on the lines of "Getting by somehow" and "Just so-so" if it's not someone really close to me who I can talk properly with, because I know they won't prod anyway. Irony is, I also use these questions as small talk with most people 😅 But with people who understand me, I am replying in and expecting an essay😃
@@honeybeemoo Yeah, I try not to ask those questions or to at least add a follow-up question. But, I always think it's funny how some are so thrown off when they ask how I am and I'm honest like "sucky". They stand there like "Oh. uhh, yeah I got nothing for this response."
I listen for genuine answers to that but rarely get them. They'll be like "I'm good. How are you?" Then they'll follow it up and be like "my dad just died."
@@valhudson001 Haha, yeah, the short paragraph reply surprised almost everyone I sent it to 🤣 I don't do it anymore except for with an INFP friend. We both text in paragraphs a lot, it's really fun😁
INFP here, and yes, I can be selfish sometimes, but I have literally had to learn how to do it because I didn't know how to set boundaries, so being a people pleaser it was difficult for me to be selfish enough to save some time just for my self and my integrity. I felt really selfish at doing that, because I didn't know how much I needed it. Now I have learnt to be selfish in a healthy way: I take some time just for me and my passions, and it's easier in that way to wanna help others too. Sometimes I still become selfish, but just when I'm too tired and stressed out
its cool to see someone make a video about this kind of thing its a really good topic!
Yes we’re not selfish, we’re just very honest 😌 - INFP with ISFP aunt
You are absolutely true about INFJ planning thing..
I’m an ENFP and took the cloverleaf test and they said I was INFP ( 50% on introversion). Which I’m not really surprised about because ENFP’s are like the most introverted extroverts. But I’ve taken more tests that put me as ENFP which I definitely identify more with. My brain is on Ne autopilot all the time, seeing the world for all it’s possibilities. But I rely heavily on Fi to make decisions and won’t do something that doesn’t feel morally right to me personally or goes against my values.
Wait, you too? I'm literally 55% extroverted and 45% introverted. ENFP btw.
I feel you too! I resonate with Ne as autopilot. I always get 50% Extrovert but I also always get 50% Feeling.(basically xNxP). I clash with Ti and Fi sometimes and it makes me feel like I'm insincere due to my inconsistency.
I used to think my brain was broken but now I know I’m an INFJ that will do anything to avoid “dealing with the real world in real time” 👍
Thanks FJ!
I’m an ISTP, and one of my best friends is an INFJ. She calls me her “interpreter” because I can listen to all of her rambling Ni plans, ask clarifying questions, and then distill what she is attempting to communicate down to one or two sentences. After which, I provide suggestions about bringing her vision into material reality. It’s odd to me how an INFJ can become so bogged down in planning insignificant details while leaving the key points of their plan vague.
My sister is an ENFJ and I'm an INFP. When we were young it seemed like I was constantly embarrassing her and she frequently upbraided me for not being sensitive to what other people thought and felt. Yet there were times when she was very critical and harsh about others when I could much more easily empathize with their feelings, especially if someone behaved awkwardly or was lacking in social graces. I now understand that these are probably classic examples of conflict between dominant Fe and Fi.
As an ENFP, the issue is definitely that I cant finish projects. But you put it in a more flattering light
As an INFP I have the same issue
Yeah entp here and I'm like: I really am the problem but thank you
Yes its not a misconception it really is the problem
as an entp, agreed
Same i a infp have the same prob
As an INFP I:
1) Did skip to my type 😂
2) Understood that Gilligan's island reference 🏝️
I personally didn't relate. I would rather not say anything to avoid conflict, especially if I was the only one out of the group that had a problem with it.
I am apt to go along with other people's choices because being with the people is more important to me than the food. Besides that, I like many different ethnic types of food. But if the restaurant is grubby, or the food is below par, or the music is obnoxious or too loud, I object and won't go there. Since nobody wants to get food poisoning or eat food that doesn't taste good, or have to shout to be heard, it's not hard to get them to choose another restaurant.
ENTJ here, these videos are really helping me to better work with people and therefore be a more efficient & successful boss. Thanks FJ for all your help /videos!!
If you are an ENTJ then efficiency is not what you need to work on but your sense of identity + internal value / desire. Te doms are prone to losing themselves in external work.
I have a hard time being able to tell how I’m coming across sometimes or why people may respond negatively to something I do that I don’t personally feel is negative. And because I have a very dominant personality, most people don’t want to or simply won’t tell me why people are reacting negatively to some of the things that I do. So these videos are helping me to see myself from others perspective which helps me see where I can adjust in order to better get along with others in my profession.
@@eleriamirayse6859 but thanks for the feedback. I can see how some of that applies to me now.
As an INTJ this was sooo accurate omg like i literally do the planning to go to unfamiliar stores 🤣 i loveeee your educational videos!!
I remember going to the grocery store with someone who hated who I was entirely (I came to realize this later, pls don't blame me) and this person was perpetually annoyed by my systematic approach at scanning thru the aisles (always start at the furthest point away from the fastest cashier, then work your way down thru each aisle with a list and by the time you get to the last aisle, you are right in front of the fastest cashier and close to the door in order to get out) anyhow, I was always depressed bc this person made me feel that all I did was horrible, killing the joy of grocery shopping and eventually we ended up doing it her scattered way which took us 2 hrs more in avarage than my way. She made it seem like I was a robot for shopping this way. I can't express the level of joy I experienced when I discussed how I do my groceries with someone who actually understood what I was doing! I was saving up time to do other things that were not boring (anything else really, I didn't plan out this part) bc I was just eager to get on with the boring stuff the most efficient way so we could have fun for longer. Needless to say, that other relationship is over, but I just wanted to say how important it is when ppl don't box you in stereotypes and actually get to understand what you are doing and appreciate you for it.
SAME! I drive 8 miles out of my way to stay at the regular grocery store, even though the other is closer. I know where everything is...and if I do go somewhere new, I will plan my route, look at the menu (if it's a restaurant) before agreeing, and see what the peak times are for them being busy. Definitely plan, but leave early in case of traffic, make sure I have an alternate dish if needed, etc.
I literally check the satellite images on Google maps to see what the parking situation is like in a new location. 😂
@@joshpatrick8809 I always look up menus, too! I love how easy it is to do with google maps, especially when there’s actual customer photos of the food so I know what it expect.
@@七ラウル I too have done that(Intj btw)
16:02: “[INFJs and INTJs] are planning so that they don’t have to interact too much with reality in real time.”
*me:* I’m listening… (from the future!)
Ni Dominance: 1; Reality: 0
ENFP - 🤯 This was spot on for me. Perfectionist, but struggling to finish things before moving on. The way you explain it here makes so much sense!!
As an ENFP that likes writing stories, I find it hard to concentrate on just one project at a time because I have so many ideas form from one idea, and end up neglecting the first project for awhile until I work out the new ideas
I literally have the same situation, in my ENFP mind it's sometimes like trying to lasso a tornado
I have..so much drafts
Exactly!!! The amount of stories I've started, gotten obsessed with and then just dropped- 😭
Thanks!
You bet!
Frank's videos are the best
As an INFP there are certain subjects that I do follow on with (I would've had the Mexican lol). I think it's more when someone questions my morals or my life habits 😅
Could totally relate to INTJ and INFJ. I seem to have a hard time DOING stuff if I don't plan my course first. My mind have a tendency to go totally blank in some situations that are new or even slightly pressured. Not meaning that my plans are always accurate or that I always follow them... they are just for safety
Point out the error, and risk being thought rude, or let someone go about their life with incorrect or incomplete information.
The struggle is real.
-INTP
So true about the INFJ and INTJ. I always have to plan out in my head before I leave the house for most limited interaction with reality. Especially grocery shopping 😂🤣
INFJ here. You did not have to call me out like that. 😭 I spent more time planning out how I would articulate an issue with my bank account over the phone with a banker than I did planning for my major.
That’s hilarious!
I ALWAYS plan out a phone call. Its so stressful
INTJ
phone call is like a hell place for me. especially if my mom pushes me to do it right away like, “give me time to construct every possible outcomes. and that would be 2 working days please.”
@@iamyu IKR?
@@iamyu Yes! I need time to plan out the conversations! I need to know what I’m going to say to what before I start a phone call.
That example for the INFP is spot on. I'm the person who answers with "wherever you guys want to eat but... *gives list of things I don't like*."
I now understand a bit more what my friends mean when they tell me I'm too honest.
ISFP being stubborn with things they don't want to do something they don't want to do while being ourselves is so me. I hate repressing myself, like in my current living space with my family.
I'm assuming you're ISFP, like me??
@@sugariibox Yes, I am an ISFP.
O cool
Also plz give me recommendations cuz I'm bored thxxx
@@sugariibox F-For what?
I think ISFJ's are often touted as pushover's when we're just extremely patient (though, lord help you if you finally push that boundary). I also think our organization skills stem more from the need to create a predictable outcome. Nothing stresses me out more than a party or event that goes awry, and everyone's upset. Do you know how stressful that is to a sensing type? So I plan even the tiniest details, hoping to cater to everyone's specific needs. In the end, I want everyone to go home happy!
As a ISTP, I sadly have to say my ISFJ sister is complete pushover and always thinks she can command me around when I already know what I have to do and when I have to do it. ISFJs also give way too much advice and try to control your life, My sister never let's me breathe.
I’m an INTJ so I can relate to the Extroverted Thinkers. People ask me for help (I’m talking about school appointments) and I’m like “Why did you do that?”, which may sound rude but I’m just curious as to how they came to that result. I proceed to explain the way I do it, which is not the way we were taught of how we’re supposed to do that but it’s the fastest way.
As an infj, this is too true. I half-plan things out and then just let it pan out in a natural way. I’m writing a book series and the outline is amazing, but trying to work on the details has been definitely a problem. Thankfully, my entp counterpart is wonderful at teaching me how to do that with their perfectionism :)
Same with me. I'm working on a comic and I basicaly know how story will end. But details are problem for me now. I believe that "Don't wait for inspiration. It comes while working"
Yayyy
I wanted thisss
Thank you my dudee
You nailed the INFJ part, that was a scarily accurate explanation of our mindset
Agreed
Infp type here, I spend heaps of time with myself, but when I have to be on gatherings I tend to just go with the flow. I might mutter something and maybe complain to my other half if it's something that I find annoying. But how I do stand up for my values is doing things quietly. Or let others know what I will be doing and they're welcome to do whatever they want.
I'm very smiley and friendly and happy to help others whenever I can that generally puts people at ease. I have never been told I am selfish, so I find that stereotype so weird.
Thanks for showing a positive side of ENTJ.
I'm currently trying to be less pushy with my ideas when the other person doesn't want to follow them right away. I let them failed before to push the idea again. However they don't seem more happy when they see that my ideas works and I'm still frustrated for the amount of time and energy wasted. So I'm not sure it's the best way to handle it.
It would be great if could do a series of 16 videos on how to convince or better communicate to each other personality.
Thank you.
as in istp with an almost 50/50 of e and i, I would like to say the intp/istp part is very accurate. I love meeting new people and talking to them, but sometimes i get lost in thought and accidentally ignore them and push them away. Not fun, but very true!
As an infj thanks for clearing up the notion of planning. I like to be prepared for when I leave the house, because I want to avoid interacting with ppl. True story. My life plan, however, has some serious gaps, and that's OK, because I like the idea of being open/ free to potential changes in opportunities and life paths.
It's always interesting to hear that Fi doms are seen as selfish when Fi as the dominant function is the spot where it is most developed and most able to map emotions. As an INFP, I usually go with the flow and can "read the room" which is that Fi + Ne working correctly. I have found that Fi gets selfish the lower it is in the cognitive stack because it isn't as developed ("baby Fi"). So Fi in the 3rd and 4th would be more of what is stereotypically seen as Fi selfishness - INTJ, ENTJ, ISTJ, and ESTJ. :)
Yes, all of the functions behavior differently in the stacking order so it's such an intrigue to see how they present themselves! Ne for example, in low Ne types (ISTJ, ISFJ), you'll see inf Ne come out as a spurt of random thoughts. They get quite creative and I say oddly quirky with these tangent of thoughts. It's a deviation from their normally structured thought patterns of Si.
This can be true. Some poorly developed Te-doms can be very childish and petulant with their Fi - and very narrow in the range of the emotional spectrum they recognize and understand, in themselves and others - in a way that looks very immature to me as an INFP.
That said, people of any type can be selfish (or not), and every single function can be used in 'selfish' ways. The degree to which Fi is self-serving compared to other functions gets seriously overblown by mischaracterizations of this function.
Frank, this is one of your most helpful videos yet, in my opinion. Way to go! I think that you really got to the heart of each of the dominant cognitive functions.
excited for istp
The INTJ one is so accurate. I talk about all these things that I want to do and then ppl ask me how I’m going to get there and that part is hella hazy. I have my end goals in mind and a plan that I want it to happen, but I can’t say for certain how it will happen
Infj here. My dad is an intj and what you said is true. Us ni dominant users do plan but we think of the endgoal like you said and we only plan something carefully if it has to do with the unknown real world. Knowing my dad, if I were to ask him to take me to a new place he is unfamiliar with, he would probably ask me like where is the parking lot, how long will he have to wait before he picks me up, etc...
I love this kind of topic because it not only helps correct any unbalanced viewpoints I hold but also makes it easier to determine whether I’ve typed myself or a loved one well. As an INTJ, it’s my high-feeling family members I find the most confusing, so the part about disliking the Mexican restaurant is hugely helpful.
Oh, yes. I can mostly hold it together to get through a new grocery store, but I can guarantee you I’m deep diving into everything a new vacation spot has to offer months in advance to avoid getting stressed out-even if I only end up doing one or two of the dozens of options. I want to experience the best without being frazzled or disappointed by getting sucked into anything cheesy.
As an entp who used to think they're an intj I'm actually not flakey. I drop things because I don't want to do them and also because I constantly rearrange in my mind what's most fun and important for me to do. I used to finish all my projects and be a perfectionist and then I realised its limiting and doesn't actually bring more beneficial outcomes most of the time and was really draining of my energy. When my energy could be distributed so much better simply by allowing it to be distributed across many things simultaneously
"I drop things because i don't want to do them, and because I have to do what's fun"
thats the literal definition of flaky
@@maggotreynolds9749 Nah that's only with things that only concern me. If other ppl r involved I usually don't flake and if I make plans with a friend I 90% of the time wouldn't flake. I'm quite reliable. I allow myself to be flakey when I know there won't rly be consequences or when the benefits of flaking outweigh the costs. I wouldn't rly call it flaking in general its more like distributing my energy strategically with a work smart not hard attitude, maximizing efficiency lol
as an infp i usually just go along with others because i like avoiding conflict :)
Same
Definitely when it's people I don't know well or a big group. With close friends or family i'd prob say it though.
@@IndieRockerHippy yeah same
"JUST USE THE BUCKET!" is one the greatest quotes from your channel.
Funniest part of the video lol
Mr. Game & Watch mains on SSBU be like :
As an INFP, I was shocked that my type is stereotyped as selfish. I'm probably one of the least selfish people one can ever meet.
Perhaps that's true BUT I've also come across blissfully oblivious NFPs who fail to see themselves objectively. For example, they will fail to notice clear distress in a person while genuinely saying things like "I am a super empath who is too tuned in to others for my own good".
Or another example: an ENFP who believes she never truly wronged anybody being very rude and hurtful to a lot of people. But in her own subjective Fi self-image, she is innocent and actually quite self-sacrificing.
Those were real life examples.
Same tbh. I think it's more selfish to do something you don't want to do cuz, you're gonna bring down the mood for everyone cuz their gonna be like "o didn't realize you didn't like that" and then everyone gets annoyed or sad
@@timefortee Failure to see clear distress on a person doesn't really mean we don't see it at all. For an INFP like myself, I 'feel' alot of emotions from people but we often get conflicted handling/confronting them about it on the spot (Se trickster). Unlike NFJs with Se, who can act upon such situation almost immediately. NFPs tend to have this need of relating / "experiencing it first" (Si) before understanding what's really happening. We are empathic but we don't often sympathize (Fe nemesis)
@@jj4cx423 Oh please don't be one of those ignorant folks who think that Fi=empathy and Fe=sympathy. If that's your case, goodbye.
@@timefortee I said we don't "often". It's not like we don't sympthize at all, but since we have our own biases which is our top 4 functions. We tend to only show it if a situation aligns or relates to our Fi and Si
INFJ here. Your assessment of us is quite accurate.
And a close friend is an ISTJ. My observations of her cause me to think that her adherence to “tradition” is, on a deep level, rooted in..... the best way I can describe it is an inner sense of vulnerability which causes her to desire security and stability above all...... predictability.
As an ESFP I agree that just trying is the best way of learning. Just know some basic facts and conceptions and just try something. It somehow always work out
I think it's really, really cool how well you work with and explain well the truths sometimes even though you're working with and using a broken system that was handed to you
As an INTJ I relate so much to planning things out so I don't have to deal with it in real time. If I go to some new place I make sure to take a look on Google Maps or street view so I know which exact door I'm looking for, which is the best way to cross a busy intersection etc. It's such an easy thing to do and it removes so much anxiety from my life.
I do that, too.
As an INFP, I've become much better at the whole brutal honesty about what I think thing, mostly because it became a running joke in my family and made people annoyed with me and made me feel isolated, so now I do manage to white lie about things like Mexican food, although I do sometimes lie about big philosophical concepts and how I see the world, but it makes me intensely uncomfortable and unhappy.
I just wanna say what I think without everyone leaving!
And I loved the video!
I think what you said about Fi doms in this video could also apply to Ti doms. I'm an INTP who just so happens to be a picky eater. However, I'd tag along with the group to the Mexican restaurant (or in my case, a vegan place or a place that mostly serves spicy food) but instead of complaining, I'd break off from the group and seek out an Italian restaurant or grab something from a nearby gas station, fast food place or Starbucks and just chill there until my group is done eating then meet up with them later.
Fun Ti logic here! I do that too 😆
INFJ here and... I have to say I really plan almost everything. And also 1y, 2ys, 5 years in the future. I also have to say I liked the idea of planning things years ago but I used to procastinate a lot.. Until 2~3 years ago that I decided to do it seriously(mainly to improve some healthy habits as I used to be sick). From there, my plannings increased. And I really don't regret it. Actually I'm glad that I made that choice and stayed stick to my plans cuz it helped me a lot.
And I guess it depends on the person and the situation. So not all INFJ are the same nor all have the same environment/lifestyle/thoughts/etc. So some INFJ plan things and others not.
I used not to plan. But now I do.
Once again thanks for the informative and entertaining vid😁,
And WIGS GO BRRRR
Enfj is on point. Great job 👏
As an INFJ, I often look for plane ticket to foreign countries, the hotel that I'd stay in, how to get to that recommended restaurant from my hotel, choose what I wanna eat, what's my plan for day 1, 2, and the rest, how much time should I spend in that museum and where to go next?
the thing is that I'm not going there, at least not anytime soon, but if I go to that specific country someday, I'd come prepared 😭
True, but also I hate itinerary vacations. I definitely need to know where I'm going to be sleeping and that the room is for sure going to me, but I just need to chill, maybe find a restaurant on accident. Just explore... But with a general goal in mind lol
As an ISTP, I have been accused of being tactless. In my office, when my colleagues and I need to discuss something with the supervisor (such as not wanting to travel 2 hrs to the head office for a meeting, when we could meet at another office centrally located), they have me bring it up. I am an “I” but without any qualms or problems with conflict if I believe I’m right.
As an INFJ with an ENTJ dad, you were spot on when you said their Te questions can be VERY irritating at times haha😂 I'm just like "what compelled you to ask such a dumb question??" Now I know it just rubs my Ti the wrong way!
Omg it all makes so much sense! I'm an INFP, my husband is ISTJ. And I always get so frustrated when i suggest to live in a van full time or move to Japan, but he just wants a house in a countryside. He's probably just more practical. And every time we have arguments he calls me selfish so I have to show him this video, so he stops, cuz that ain't true. Also my boss is ENFJ and mostly it's a smooth sailing, but sometimes I am the only one who isn't down for whatever he suggests, but I also don't wanna be difficult so i just go with it, just less passionate then the others.
Thank you so much for your video FJ!
As an INFP, even if I don't want those "Mexican Restaurant", I'll just say yes to them but most likely not to enjoy the food-for me, it is important to know WHAT I TRULY FEEL. And I don't think I need to express it to others unless they cross some boundaries
7:27 well as an INFP I'd actually say it like "I don't really like Mexican food but we can go, I'm just not gonna eat, I'm just gonna have fun being with you" (and no, not to make them say "well we can do something else", I genuinely mean that)
Or I'll just never bring that up and when it's my turn to order I don't and then spend the rest of the time explaining to people that I'm truly ok with it and I'm just here to have fun
Yeah, idk how healthy that is, but it's how I do it, the best case scenario for me is them not noticing I didn't order
And again, I don't mean this in a sour/sad way at all, I'm genuinely ok with that and I'll make sure everyone understands that so no one will feel uncomfortable eating near me because I'm not eating
I swear your vids keep getting better and better Frank, I feel like you really hit the nail on the head with all these types. As a typology nerd I can only aspire to have as much knowledge about MBTI / jungian cognitive functions as you do. Keep up the good work.
ESTP here. The misconception you showed is true based on my experience. Sometimes when my family or friends ask me for an advice, I would give them one that's different/unexpected to them and when they ask me why, I would just say 'been there done that, and it solved my problem eventually'.
Planning out the trip to the grocery store made me laugh. I'm an INTJ, as was my dad, & to this day I do the same thing he did: write out my grocery list grouped by aisle.
Wait… not everyone does that? Weird. Seems that anything else would be inefficient and lead to needed items being missed.
- fellow INTJ
@@altitudeiseverything3163 i know my supermarket by heart. I just wander around familiar aisles and get everything I need. Fast and easy. Also, a list of things I seldom buy as back up.
Thankfully the grocery app I use tells me what aisle every item is. Probably designed by an INTJ for an INTJ.
@@kimquim2803 “I just wander around” is a concept my brain can’t quite process. 😂 I know my grocery aisles well, too, but I’d still miss items if I didn’t go with a well-organized list. The lights, the people, the music…. all are distracting and make me lose focus. You have an enviable memory! 👍
@@altitudeiseverything3163 But if I don't wander around, I'll never discover fun things I couldn't have planned on! An aisle where I know the arrangement is a very boring aisle. 😂 ~an ENFP
"They're planning so they don't have to interact too much with reality in real-time". Wow, that's one of the most concise explanations of the Ni-dom that I've ever heard. I've never thought about it that way before.
The thing with INFPs is that the same principle that motivates them to stick to their own thing when it's a problem for everyone else, also motivates them to stick to their own thing when it's not easy for *them*.
I definitely related to the Te Dom example. We often want to help, and love improving things for people, but with demon Fe it doesn't come out in the most caring way.
Yaaayyy new video :) I really like the topic of this one! Love your videos
As an INTJ, I can confirm you are describing my life. I do have an end point, but the process of getting there is still in planning and subject to change. Some people don't understand that
As an INTP, what you said actually does come familiar to me. I often correct people which leads to misunderstandings and sometimes arguments. I love being a part of a community or friend circle (as long as it small) but getting along with others isnt exactly my best trait.