Mild Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy || My experience
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2024
- Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy - My experience.
A factitious disorder driven by the desire for attention and the manipulation of others extends beyond one's self in this mental illness.
In this video, I share my own experience with Munchausen by Proxy - I do not share diagnostic criteria about the illness. Please do not use this video for anything but gathering information and as knowledge that you are not alone, if you have also experienced this! Seek professional help from a therapist if you are struggling super hard with this tough stuff. Seek support. There is so much beauty to experience in this world if you manage to escape the shadows of your childhood!
If you feel in need of a release or would like to help me or someone else who may read it, share your experience and knowledge in the comment section below - you never know who may need to hear your story.
I wish you all the best, dear one.
Happy Healing (:
Allisun
PS - If you're reading this, comment "I am vibrantly healthy and happy ♡"! Affirm your resilience!! Sending you special love! xo
My mother was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder when me and my brothers were very young. She always tried to exaggerate any illness we got. She was and still is a very sick woman. Luckily my father divorced her when I was about 12 yrs old and got custody of us. When I was about 25 yrs old I cut off all ties with her and haven’t looked back. My life is much better because of it.
Oh wow, an actual diagnosis! Well, I'm sorry that's a really hard dynamic to be raised in so young, through 12 years old your family is the biggest influence on you, while afterwards it moves out to your friend groups.. I know your family breaking while you're young is heartbreaking, truly, and I can relate because I was 11 when my mom first told me she thought she and my dad needed to get a divorce. I remember feeling so truly shocked and struck with grief. However, they continued to just _talk_ about divorce, all the time, for eight more years. Their 'logic' was to wait 'til my twin and I were out of high school, but we told them all along to just split up, and looking back I see how much better that would have made things. Meh.. Anywho, sorry, I am so so so glad for your dad looking out for what's best for himself and for you, and you following that same path in choosing distance yourself as an adult. It takes strength, and choosing to see life as better afterwards also takes strength, even though it's the truth most often. I admire your resilience, and really appreciate you reaching out and connecting ♡ I hope life continues to shine for you ♡
How she got the diagnose? Because most of the people with NPD don't want to go for a test.
I cut ties to my mother for 25yrs. I learned she turned the proxy into reg munchausen through family, when she had finally made herself so sick she needed a kidney transplant, and I decided to return home. That was 3 years ago. She has a new kidney but loves the frequent specialist appts and tests. I've learned to have an arms length relationship and watch her like a psych study to understand myself.
My Mom is also a (diagnosed) narcissist. My brother and I don't talk to her anymore, except through our Dad (poor him). Good for you for getting away! 👍☑️
The craziest thing about dealing with a parent with Munchausen by proxy is that often your actual medical ailments are missed.
I've dealt with chronic leg pain starting around 7 that slowly moved its way up through my hips and back as I got older. Whenever I would tell my mom I hurt and kept falling over, she would say we were "all a little crooked".
She projected bipolar disorder on to me, which I do not have. I was over medicated as a child and do not remember several years of my life because of this. My mother received so much praise from her friends for how she was handling such a difficult situation raising a mentally ill child.
I've never had bipolar disorder, but I do have scoliosis that went undiagnosed until I was almost 30.
I'm the calmest and healthiest person in my family. They all wear fitbits to track their heart rate because they all have mysterious heart conditions. But none of them exercise or drink water and only eat processed foods. I can't imagine what that's doing to their mental state on top of the narcissism my mother is dealing with.
My narcissistic egg donor threw me into the lions den of life with parental alienation, sexual abuse and mental abuse and then gaslit 30 years of my life by saying that I’m “bipolar” or she demands I take a drug test (because I had a 2 year struggle with opiates….8 years ago 🙄)
Rising like a phoenix - taking back control over my own perception of myself vs what she has decided she wanted me to be, so as to best serve her ego.
I literally know a family with these exact diagnoses.
Dots connected. Thank you so much for sharing. I just started searching for a possible connection between covert narcissism and Munchhausen by Proxy. I really appreciate this info.
My mother is NPD. I was adopted at 6mos old and I had some health issues. My mother had a tendency to do things that triggered me to flare, and then she would exaggerate her own health issues for attention. She would frequently make up stories about my mental health as well, telling people that I had a mental illness, and she would take me to doctors until they prescribed psych meds. She loved the attention she got for being the poor mother who adopted a baby with a mental illness. I left home as a teenager, and being No Contact miraculously cured my "mental illness". I do have some ptsd now from abuse.
If it starts in childhood it's CPTSD but just like with many other things DR's don't like to diagnose it because they can't profit off of it.
I knew my mother already has some kind of narcissism but I also question her insisting I had migraines at age 4 which resulted in some kind of scary test, she took me in for anemia (which I didn’t have), breast cancer at age 13, asthma, knee problems, a lump on the side of my neck which I remember the dr really searching for. I also was taken in for night terrors at age 3 while my dad was on assignment in the military. I was given medication to keep me from getting into a deep sleep. And as a teen she insisted I had depression. When the dr told her I was a normal teen she took me out to the car waited until al, the doors were closed and yelled at me for lying.
I did have chronic strep, one time I got Scarlett fever. Back then they removed tonsils for chronic throat infections and it never happened. But my brother got tubes in his ears and it was such a big deal.
She is such a manipulator. I wouldn’t be surprised if what my mother did would be a mild form of MhBP.
I wouldn't be surprised either. I am currently researching this syndrome and wondered if you might be willing to answer a few questions I have?
Thank you for sharing your experiences! We are a survivor as well. We can relate to the repeating pneumonia. Our first hospitalization was age 2. After that it was constant bronchitis, pneumonia, respiratory infections, and asthma with nebulizer. We remember our mother waking us up in the night to tell us we were coughing so much we would die. Then, she would “rescue” us by giving us a breathing treatment with the nebulizer machine. We would think “I was sleeping just fine until YOU woke me up, mom! 🤨” Then, years later after our father remarried, were put on numerous behavioral meds and put in multiple psychiatric facilities and drug treatment centers. We were branded an “alcoholic “ and “drug addict” We were tortured severely and put through multiple human trafficking rings. Then, recently find out the TRUTH. WE HAVE AUTISM AND D.I.D. ! 😱🤯🤬 we were never SICK. Our parents were!
Kudos to you for being so aware at a young age. I’m serious.
A little about my story:
I’m 50 yo and I was severely abused and basically held captive until I was 43. Not a typo. My mother and sister projected all their mental health problems onto me, and I became the identified patient. I was in and out of psych hospitals for years. Yes, I have CPTSD, anxiety, and depression, and attempted suicide many times - but that’s a pretty normal response to such an insane situation. The bizarre thing is that I was never allowed to have physical pain. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in my early 20’s, and have been on disability since 1996 - but was never allowed to have pain. I was accused of competing with my mother and sister. I was on MORPHINE EVERDAY - but was not allowed to have pain. My sister brags about how she’s broken every toe on both feet at least twice. Xrays? Nah. Did she deliberately injure herself? Yes. My sister is as much of a narcissist as my mother, and she’s also Histrionic. In recent years she told everyone that she was going to be in a wheelchair in 6 years or 6 months (it would change all the time) because her “vertebrae were sliding sideways off of each other and were going to sever her spinal cord”. Yeah, seriously. She then told me that she should probably tell her husband the truth, that that wasn’t the case - but she never did. She convinced a surgeon to fuse her spine TWICE for no reason. She would complain long and loud that she had such horrible back pain that all she could do was lie on the couch and cry. Then the next day, she drove for 6 hours to Maine. Yeah, um, no. My mother blamed me when she became anemic. All while putting me through forced, hard physical labor that permanently damaged my body. Since I got free of them (and now No Contact since 2015 - best damn thing I’ve EVER done), I was finally diagnosed with a genetic disorder that causes very severe chronic pain. I’ve had severe chronic pain my whole life, but was told I was faking it. I believed that everyone had pain all the time, until a few years ago. I had extreme Stockholm syndrome. Anyway, it’s a long, sordid, and complicated story. I’m planning to write my first book about it. I’m just so very glad for you to see this abuse for what it is, at such a very young age. I didn’t realize that the insanity I lived in (and thought of as normal) was actually incredibly abusive until I was nearly 41 years old.
Wowza, love! What a severe life story. Write your book, let some of your attachment to your hardship go. Let me know when you do, I'll definitely read it. So glad you're finally free ♡♡♡
My story is similar. Cara I can relate. Figured it out at 41.. am 45. Older sister is her mirror too.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was always told my pain was fake. I was making it up. It wasn’t real. You’re playing tricks on us. And now as an adult every ounce of pain I experienced was real but in such a warped situation nothing is real. Going no contact is a god send
Much support and healing vibes for you
It is very brave to disclose these difficult events, thoughts and feelings. It shows insight and self knowledge. It enables others to explore their own, traumas and struggles in the search for healing and resolution. Thank you for sharing.
love your work! just so you know there are correlations between narcissitic abuse and autoimmune disease and fibro. It could all be munchausen syndrome, but there's more research coming out that this kind of psychological abuse does damage to the body and effects your nervous system heavily.
OooOOOooo, thank you for sharing that knowledge! I'll look into it ♡
I study manifestation and how belief creates reality. Our mom's created this for us via quantum physics.
The symptoms manifested as real when we believed our mom's thinking that equals safety. So our nervous system correlates safety as this.
My research started with narc abuse storing in the body and manifesting as fibro. This translates to blocked rear heart chakra in New age practices. I could not make sense of anything in my life. I ended up with a inner ear infection and seized no one believed me in the end. I thought maybe I did make it up but i lost feeling in my body and kept blacking out. This July after 4 years I had a month of blood come out my nose. It was real. But the docs thought i made it up. Mom turned on me saying I was the one who made it all up. Therapy started at 4. Well into my 20s i complied with the appts bc i didn't know I could say no
How it compounds makes no sense.
Wow Allison. Thank you for opening up the door & shedding light on this topic, most importantly I'm sorry you & your sisters experienced this.
Fast forward to 2 years ago- I never knew or heard of this diagnosis. I DO remember very clearly though, my mother trying to put fear into me about "catching" things in public, such as school, friends, teachers, parents, pets the list goes on and on ... it was soo confusing as a small child. The sign of a common cold always turned into something (extra) or the "sign" of what was to come ....
It was the FEAR it caused me. I still don't really know WHAT this was for her...
I think you do know, and nailed it! It was about fear -- and, perhaps, us turning to her for rescuing in this scary world..?
Per therapists request, I’m over here researching Münchausen syndrome, and your face popped up! Love you sis
You have such a sweet, gentle voice. So soothing
Lalalaa, thanks for the happy takeaway from this not so happy video, haha! ♡
@@ProactiveResilience of course
Woah. Thank you so much for sharing your difficult perspectives. It is unreal the things we realize in hindsight, isn't it? I cherish what you are doing here on your channel. It makes others feel less alone in their memories and speculation of the abuse spectrum. As we learn & share, we heal & grow. On your last video, you mentioned how you forgot a lot from your childhood. Same with me. I feel I have very little recollection of living in my home and as the memories do return as I journal, some are good, but most are awful. And it only reinforces my decision to severe myself from majority of my highly dysfunctional family. They are all in such denial, it sickens me.
This topic reminded me of the few times I was extremely ill and how my mother treated me. It was quite opposite of your experience. The first major illness was when I was a senior in high school and had mono really bad. I was out for 3 months and hospitalized twice. I was suffering so much I slept on the couch, too weak to walk up the stairs. I was never coddled or nursed the way a child should have been. The memory is as if my narc mom, sociopathic dad, and golden child brother would blur past me going on about their lives as if I was a burden. I was the one who begged to seek medical help. The doctor told me that I should have came in weeks earlier because some of my symptoms lined up with meningitis and I could have died. Lucky I didn't. The suffering still lingered and after it was all finally over, my mom told me in the utmost casual tone, "I thought you were going to die." The inflection of concern was as if she was describing how to pick out a ripe mango. I didn't think much of it because at that time, such words and lack of love were the norm to me. I know she used my illness to get pity and sympathy from friends and coworkers. Did she want me to actually die so she would get more attention?
Then in my 20's I was living with my mother and brother. Abusive father finally out of the picture. I was sharing a room with my mom at the time. I thought I had the flu since I never really had it before. I had a high fever with a terrible cough and even worse body aches. It was beginning of my last semester before graduating college. Which I never ended up graduating. I was so sick I couldn't make it to class or even to my job. I had to drop out and quit. I was devastated but too sick to think straight. As I moaned in pain and whimpered to sleep for 3 weeks, my mom told me I was exaggerating my discomfort. Even my bother believed her distortions and did nothing as he saw me try to cry but couldn't because it hurt too damn much . My aunt was growing concerned because my sickness wasn't going away. My aunt insisted I go to the doctors. I agreed of course because my mom refused to take me despite me being too weak to drive myself. As soon as the doctor checked my lungs she ordered I go to the ER immediately. I went to the ER and they put me in the ICU right away. I was there for over a week. I had an extreme case of pneumonia in both lungs with the right lung being seriously inflamed. To this day my right lung is the more sensitive one due to scar tissue. The doctors told me I absolutely would have died if I never went to the doctors and the ER. And to never go that long with out medical help with a fever that high. While I was in the ICU my mother visited me once. And the look on her face was disgust that I was getting all the attention from the staff, family, and friends. While I was in there, I also found out I was pregnant from my recent ex boyfriend. I didn't know whether to keep it. My mom told me that if I kept it, she would disown me forever. She would not help me, she did not want a baby around as she already did that life. She told me I had not choice but to get rid of it. She said verbatim, "I do not want to be a grandmother." I went to the clinic as I thought I had no choice. The fetus already died. Most likely from the stress and drugs I was putting into my body for almost a month, self treating my self for the "flu". I was relieved but also stricken with grief because I still had to go through the motions of the pill abortion since my uterus and not yet expelled the tissue. I did that alone, in my bathroom while my mom was at work. She did not ask me once if I was okay or how I felt or how I was healing from the pneumonia, or miscarriage. To her, it was as if it all had never happened. And my family never talks to me about it. Not even my aunt. To my family, that illness and pregnancy was something that happened to my mom. Not me.
Today my mom has cancer. She does not take care of herself, and has no real self love being a person with severe narcissistic tendencies. As I feel deeply sad for her, I cannot help her. I tried, but she only makes me feel like shit about my nutritional and lifestyle advice. And today, my whole family runs a smear campaign about me because I am the terrible daughter that does not try harder to take care of my mother with cancer. They all know the past but are all also trapped in my mothers cult lap of lies and delusion. I have so much conflicting guilt about this as I keep my distance from her. We text but that is it. I tell her I love her and she never ever says it back. But to the family, & friends, I know she spins an evil web around my name.
Right now, I have no choice but to reparent myself so I can heal. The reparenting can only happen with space and time from my mom and family. What I shared with you above is only the tip of the iceberg, like your wonderful LCD logo. I feel vulnerable in even leaving all this open to the public. But I feel I need to get it out there so I can get some feedback from people who understand the complicated dilemma of being an adult child of abuse who harbors resentment and love for their abusers. Am I doing the wrong thing by choosing to save my heart and health by keeping my distance? Last time I took my mom to get her treatments, I got a fever the entire next day. My body shutdown from the visceral shame and experience of spending a day with my mother and her energy sucking behavior. I stayed in bed the entire day with fever, aches, and low energy. Please, I am open to constructive criticism.
From my broken heart to yours,
Kirby
Kirby Smarsh You are not alone and are making the right choice staying away. I can’t imagine what you went through. My mother was a covert narcissist and more the smothering kind. Any issues I had were dismissed and downplayed, so I understand what that feels like but I can’t imagine almost dying twice and no one even pretending to care.
After all this, you are definitely making the right choice. I would suggest going completely no contact but I understand how insanely hard that is. Stay strong in your intuition to stay away. You are NOT a bad daughter or a bad person for this decision, you are a sane, healing person. No matter the circumstances, boundaries are necessary.
I hope you find comfort in knowing you are not alone on this journey and that others have healed and are striving after this type of abuse. Love and hugs to you. 💕
Kirby, my heartttttt feels your love and sends so much love out to you! ♡♡♡♡♡
That is so toxic and heartbreaking, words can't really describe it... Man oh man. Well life has surely dealt you a tough hand. I'm so sorry for all you've been through, and continue to deal with. Really, I am... I see how your family's denial is actually sickening. I'm the kinda gal who finds spiritual purpose behind all things, and I'm making the connection between your circumstance and physical health. You weren't taken care of (that's an understatement) and your entire being nearly couldn't take it.
It's super important you nurture yourself now. Trust that you *are* undoubtedly doing the right thing by choosing distance. Past patterns show your body literally can't handle it. No one has ever put your needs first so it feels wrong, but it *is* the right thing to do. You 'have no choice' but to. My friend, that is your intuition telling you what you have to do right now. Honor that knowing. Use your energy to support yourself in this hard time. Let your brainwashed family care for your mom now. Let them believe what they're being told without thinking for themselves, let them say what they say, and cultivate your own knowing of your truth. Affirm to yourself through writing or speaking aloud that you mean well, you are loving and kind, you deserve love and kindness, and you're healing. Practice telling that to yourself 'til you believe it.
I'm here, blueshoes is here, and so many of others are here for you, all in this together! Feel comfort in knowing you're not alone. You are heard and cared for. You've experienced super unfair things, and totally didn't deserve it. You do deserve to move forward settling for no less than the supreme levels of love, health and happiness that you, and all of us, do deserve. I hope as time passes your heart heals up. 'Til then my constructive criticism is for you to take a break from criticism and focus on da loveeeeee! ♡♡♡♡♡ Things have been worse than they ever will be, the present is good, and the future holds even better. ♡
Thank you SO MUCH for this kind and honest reply! It means so much to hear back form you and blushoes as no one in my life really understands the extent I went through. I am on the right path and do feel relatively good. All my love and soul go out to you!!!!!@@ProactiveResilience
@@The.DirtyWitch For whatever it is worth, your version sounds similar to mine. I developed very real chronic illnesses beginning at age 12. The weird thing is my narc mom only recognizes one and only within her own narrowed definition. From that, she gains attention from others for being a martyr while ignoring the rest of my symptoms like they don't exist.
I can relate to the general story of your pregnancy as well.
I finally came upon covert narcissism last year and now I'm exploring Munchausen by proxy. Such a mind-blowing year.
@@trippymiracle1157 It is worth everything that you shared parts of your story. You are on the right path to learning about their conditions anyway you can. Gathering all the mentals tools is the first step to building your metaphorical home of love for your self that will protect you from further damage. Continue on the path of knowledge and self love/care and KNOW we are here for you always to talk and help. Seriously. You are not alone. ❤🐾
I watch alot of your videos and our lives are parallel.. 2years no contact and counting. Love from London 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
London!! Dang that's cool, haha ♡ I appreciate you and your support. Sending you some good ol' american love, parallel life friend! Good for you putting yourself first!
Hi Clare I'm in the UK too I want to go NC but nervous that all family will go against me and I will be made out to be crazy?
@@warriorprincess-330 consider that anyone your abuser knows can be used against you, just prepare yourself to accept that you might have to eventually go NC with them all
Thank you for sharing. My story is similar to yours. Subtle enough to be confused by what my mother did, but not enough to get serious attention by CAFS or Docs. As an adult I'm realizing how much her obsession with medical appts, and there being "something wrong with me", affected my career, my own kids and my mental health. Im 50 now, and just finally working this out
I'm 45 and it hit June this year. Hugs.
Would you like to share
No psychologist in town seems to understand .. only a couple
Thanks for the video. I really appreciate your perspectives on how this disorder impacted the lives of your siblings who had been assigned Family Scapegoat roles. Factitious Disorder is a family disorder affecting each member according to their own unique set of vulnerabilities. Glad it was/is "mild" for you, still, sorry you had to experience this disease in your family.
Nice insight! Hmm. I wonder how it affected them differently, too. Some one else commented here recently saying my experience seemed as though from a triangulated perspective... I think I'll embark on further learning about this, soon, I know I have some serious learning about scapegoat perspective to do, in order to understand what to do in my relationships with my sisters. Are you scapegoated in your family? Perhaps you could help me understand :o
Yes ty for adding value to our day :)
I think this disorder, like so many, come from our current society-wide lowered ability to know what is quality time with others, quality bonding, quality care etc... combined with a sort of senseless view of illness and health. All the best to you. I did a video on MbP regarding public case, I would like to know your thoughts, but if you know too little about the case to comment, no problem. My other upload is regarding Narcissitic PD in the same person. The stats and studies referenced might all be of some value to you too :)
Thank you. I was a proxy you are speaking our truth
Mmmh. So my perspective.... is that.... she told me I was sick since I was a kid (we were talking about this earlier), and I just genuinely believed that I was sick all the time. Like... I have no idea. I think once in first grade you had the stomach flu and I faked that to stay home, but that was the only time I remember knowing that I wasn’t sick. Even in the hospital in fourth grade, I genuinely thought something was wrong with me. Then when she started telling me I was a fuck up I so strongly said no, even unfriending my middle school friends for smoking pot. Then she started kicking me out (forever grateful to Lauren because I’d go to her house in middle school), and somehow it turned into i was delusional because she’d never kick me out, i was making it up. So she took me to two psychiatrists; one I talked to without mom present, the other one mom talked to without me present, she kept taking me back to the second psychiatrist and every visit mom would said “these drugs are working but we need a higher dose,” or “these aren’t working let’s try an antipsychotic instead of an antidepressant,” and those were my first highs. Then one day in ninth grade.... I remember screaming in her face “if you’re gonna treat me like a fuck up, I’m going to be a fuck up!” And I stole her 3 full scripts of Vicodin, started smoking pot, drinking, skipping school, etc. I am 100% positive that she never would have stopped treating me that way if I hadn’t done drugs... anyways, fast forward to the diagnosis of fibromyalgia. I was smoking pot still but only pot, no other drugs. Then bam! First OWI. At some point in that i was like “holy fuck I can’t cope with this chaos I clearly am crazy and need medication,” so I went to moms psychiatrist & she gave me Xanax. Then idk, it was all a blur (dissociation + benzos), but I remember going to see moms pain doctor and mom was there with me like “yes she is in so much pain she needs her nerves cauterized!” So they gave me a bunch of norco to avoid that... literally prescribed 6-8 a day, with a lovely diagnosis of fibromyalgia, and ultimately i got the nerve ending shit done, but idk... it’s insane to me... so. I THINK (because it’s confusing ya know) that what happened is, Xanax was a coping mechanism for mom, then she took the benzo fog and fucked with my brain (because benzos, I didn’t give a fuck I just wanted attention to feel loved, i did it with schoolmates as well), plus lack of food because of benzos + the drug abuse lifestyle, I was in pain. I don’t think it was real pain! I think it was somatic pain... but the pills helped & I only got the pills with the diagnosis. So idk. Then second OWI, I got off all the pills & was diagnosed with EDS. Now I’m over here talking to doctors like “uhh... idk... I might have a genetic disorder but I’m not completely sure...” and they look at me like I’m crazy. I think that was the worst shit ever. Just having soooo many fake diagnoses. With regular doctors I’m always debating if I have EDS, with therapists/psychiatrists I’m always saying “no I’m crazy and this is why,” and they have to talk me into believing that I’m not.., literally ive spent 9 months doing it & it still comes up in therapy every week. It’s fucking insane. - so that’s my perspective. Hope it helps.
I like this video. U did a awesome job & describeing about the illness in way i can understand it. Also i love ur star necklace!!🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 Where did u get it? I am gonna look on etsy to see if they have one like it i can buy! I love stars & necklaces & u just brightened my day!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
I'm glad you found some value here! I got it at a store called Madewell, they also had a cute star journal and ALL the star things, which I love too!! I hope you find one!! I was seeking a choker style like this with stars an inch apart all around, but this simple guy is great, I haven't taken it off since I got it (: You brightened my day too!!! I"m sending you all the sunshine and shooting star joy in the world!! ♡
I can relate in so many ways to your video. I never really considered myself to have been effected by Munchausen by proxy although my sister is suspected to have Munchausen syndrome but I do acknowledge that she has encouraged me to think in her unhealthy mindset which has allowed me to see a bit of her perspective but also led me to wonder why she did what she did. My sister claimed to have a ton of food allergies even though all blood tests where negative. My sister than convinced my mom that I was allergic to almost the same foods so I copied my sister (although I didn’t realize it at the time, but I saw the way she had allergic reactions and simply copied her) I enjoyed this at first because I got a lot of attention because I had to bring my own food everywhere. It wasn’t till I started to realize that my sister’s problems where not real that I understood that I actually wasn’t allergic to anything and had simply been mimicking my sister. This however cause me to doubt other medical conditions I really had and not take them seriously for a really long time.
My sister also told me many times that it was ok to take very large doses of medicine if you really needed it (both over the counter and prescription with not so fun side effects). I also wanted to break my arm so badly and would get jealous if any of my friends had a cast as I desperately wanted the attention. Even having lived away from her for several years, I still struggle to find positive ways to get attention and find it natural to want or seek attention through hurting myself or making not so smart choices. Whenever I was faced with these temptations my mom would remind me that I needed to find ways to get attention by doing good things for other people rather than being pitied so I strived to serve others and seek their approval which was not healthy either. Now, I love to serve others but I do it because I care and want to help without expecting any attention or praise in return. I have to be careful that I don’t repeat any of the behaviors that I saw my sister doing as I know how to replicate them but also not doubt when I am physically hurt or sick. Seeing my sister treat her body so terribly has encouraged me to be more conscience about what I eat and how I live my life in a way that respects my body that was “fearfully and wonderfully made” (psalm 139:14).
Have you had a lot or some negative habits that revolved around your mothers illness that you have had to or are still overcoming? For example, due to my sisters ‘extreme allergies’, I was taught to spot and fear extreme levels of cross contamination with food and it has taken me years to not view eating something off of the table or using the wrong towel to wash your hands or empty the dishwasher as a life or death situation.
Hi there! I love your insight about minimizing our real illnesses and things after discovering that was all fake.. I think my most negative habit taken from having a mom with munchausens, even though it's also a good trait at times, is the extreme level of health I hold myself accountable to. Sometimes I wish I could just chill out and let myself be. It's like fussing on the opposite side of the spectrum than the munchausens. We're all unique though, and I love hearing how it affected your daily perspectives! In time things will get to a more balanced and normal place. ♡
“Now for my sisters....” OHHHHHHH we gettin to da gold 🌟
This is my exact situation except I’m like your sister... I have a drug problem and my mother has encouraged me not to find work in the past year. She wants me to live in my childhood bedroom and not go outside... so I obey. I am 25.
Hey 💕 You're not alone, rayne. Reach out if you'd like to talk. You call your drug use a problem but while it may be causing problems, it's also a valid way for you to cope with real hardships. You're trying to feel good, you're trying to protect yourself and do what you can. Things can get better. Keep believing. ☺️
I had no idea she praised you for being small. She just told me I was crazy following in X’s footsteps. That’s so fucking strange to me. Like the scapegoat vs golden child roles are meant to pin children against each other... I just didn’t know it started at such a young age.
They usually like to pin children against each other.. it’s a common thing with narcissism
I tried to end my life at 15 with an alcohol overdose (first time ever drinking and had never touched a drug) and my step-mom told the ER doctors that I had been a drug addict and it wasn't really an attempt at my life. She then made me go to intensive outpatient addiction treatment and relished in the attention she received while abuse worsened in private. If I was depressed, maybe people could point a finger at her, but this way I was just a bad kid and she was my savior.
When she wasn't getting enough attention she pulled me out of school and put me into inpatient rehab with a bunch of kids who had actual drug problems. (Again, I had NEVER used recreational drugs and only drank twice at this point). After meeting some friends in rehab, I tried some gateway drugs (legal for adults) a grand total of 4 times. I figured I was supposed to be a drug addict anyways, and my friends were all dping it so why not? She seemed to like when I did and encouraged it even though I was repremanded at outpatient. After my mom killed herself once I got back from rehab and attention was off of my step mom she told me she would kick me out of the house unless I went back to rehab. I was lucky to get out and left home (but not without them pulling me from a youth shelter and putting me back into rehab) but I was somehow still confused about if I had ever been a drug addict, even though I only ever did drugs to end my life that one time. They told me I would have to be in recovery from addiction for my whole life so I still went to groups even though I couldn't relate to anything. I clung to some of the stories that my stepmom had made up for me because I didn't want to tell my friends I had met in rehab and after that I had lied back then. I didn't know how to explain it.
I told my dad when I was 19 or 20 that I thought the whole thing was a lie. I hadn't had any addiction, just a lot of PTSD. He told me that he knew that it was fake the whole time.
I've struggled with if this all was really munchausen by proxy, even though it fits the DSM-5 criterea. My step-mom is a mallignant narcissist so maybe it was just another form of abuse? Thank you for sharing your story. The extreme examples in the news and popular media about this illness makes it harder to process what happened.
I genuinely believed that I was in pain! Andddd I was, but I think it was just because I wasn’t taking care of my body. I started eating healthy and stretching and going for walks and no more pain....
My mom has Munchausen although it’s undiagnosed. She has poisoned me several times and forced me to walk on a walk. When I refused she told my dad on me. He yelled at me and didn’t believe me.
She also took care of my sick aunt who went down hill until she passed away under her care. My mother works for a pharmacy and I believe misuses medication that she administers to others.
ACoN Wayne here I can confirm I also exhibited this syndrome as a child lying to the Eye-Doctor during exam so I would get glasses & I was jealous of the attention an actor on a Full House episode for getting amnesia - I remember walking around the back yard doing multiple faceplants into the grass hoping to get amnesia too. Sign of codependency addiction imo yet only decades later would a therapist explain that I was codependent.
everyone in the family had glasses but me
Man, I went through so much with a narcissistic and munchausen syndrome by proxy mom. One day I'll probably make a video or write about it. It was a trip. I only got away from her control when she passed 6 years ago.
The broken arm thing... I thought that was normal. Allisun! OMG my grandma was really sick with Cancer, because of it my mom didn’t pay attention to herself (I was her first child). 😦 I don’t think my mom has Munchausens but she sometimes.... I don’t know what to think anymore
My mom had what I guess was the mildest form of MBP. She would be absolutely enthused about any medical ailment I had. She called everyone we knew and exaggerated every detail. Hospital visits were my mom gushing over me followed by all the phone calls and exaggerated descriptions. Sadly, these were the best of times because she was almost never nice to me otherwise.
I can’t identify with your story but feel a link still, as I grew up with an alcoholic father and as a result the trauma still flashes before me occasionally 30 years later
Dude for real, until I found your vids, the only thing I could use to describe my mom was that Eminem album relapse.
When i’d miss my mom I’d listen to it & cry & not know why. Thanks, man.
I relate to your relating to Eminem's songs!! You're not alone Josiah. 💛 Hope you're okay!
@@ProactiveResiliencemy life’s a mess, but as long as I’m not alone, I know I’ll be alright. A lot’s happened recently to make me feel more alone & I appreciate your reply. Ima spread the kindness ✌️❤️👊
@@ProactiveResilience I have a question if you don’t mind, how did you tell your partner?
It’s hard to accept, but this is not just NPD… this is psychopathy. A mother can be sadistic. She can be mad and at the same time cruel.
I remember my malignant narc / sociopath "mother" dragging me to 5 different doctors, until she finally found a doctor who would agree to an operation! Also taking me to several ridiculous tests, like brain EEG even though I never had any seizure or epilepsy. And other tests doctors performed on me, like testing reflex of my knee and I didn't even know why that was tested. I remember the doctors saying to her always: "No, everything is normal." And she then making a face,rolling her eyes and looking away. So she must've told them before, something wasn't normal with me. So she was actually upset, that all was normal with me and I was healthy. Also I was supposed to take little white tablets, for no reason. I was about 5 years old and asked the doctor what for. He said, "oh just so like that". Really weird from that doctor to tell me to take pills but doesn't explain why even when I asked. And she didn't explain either. Why being so secretive and tell me to take pills when I wasn't sick, not even a cold. I later stopped taking them on my own when I was 6. I had so many blood tests, that I've still a scar on my arm from it... Also was never told any reason for it. I saw so many different pediatritians even though we always lived in the same place and the main doctor who vaccinated us never moved away. I think when I was 5 and already asked questions she figured I was to smart to be messed with for the most part but still managed to forced that unnecessary operation when I was 7. These things can be so subtle and doctors need to be more aware not think how they can make the most money. I'll try to get my health insurance files from back then. Curious to find out why they take so much blood from a little, healthy child. A wonder I wasn't severely anemic.
Dang, what experiences little kiddo you went through ): I'm sorry you've been through that deception and testing of your health. It's truly amazing that you had the sense at that age to think for yourself and speak your truth like you did! Seriously, I'm in awe! That's a skill I've had to work so hard to discover within myself as an adult. Please give yourself a pat on the back or something (: You have inherent wisdom.
I wonder how you're doing now? Hopefully still physically as healthy as the doctors always deemed you to be, but hopefully healthy in your mind and heart as well! I hope you know how unfair that treatment of you was, and now have people in your life who *support* your health and happiness... If not yet, I hope healing warms you back up soon. Sending you love and strength!! Keep standing up for yourself ♡
@@ProactiveResilience Thank you so much for your supportive words :) Physically I'm well, just some anxiety and hypervigilance, c-ptsd from all the other abuse. And sad due to all the injustice and legal system not helping much. I'm no contact with all relatives, all evil, inappropriate abusers. I was always isolated, they try to silence and slander like crazy, dangerous. They want me out of the way, me telling truth is a threat to them. If I had more energy I'd move to another country, it's the only way I can feel safe. That's why I research so much about narc abuse, malignant NPD, ASPD. The term Dark Triad describes them all so well. I work on getting a stronger sense of self, like you, that is prohibited from developing in such a toxic environment. Channels like yours are sources of wisdom and validation. It's difficult to find a psychotherapist who knows about narc abuse, at least I need one who is trained in treating ptsd. Sending you strength and warmth as well, with people like you, there is hope for truth and justice
with people like *us* ♡
I'll research dark triat and aspd, I don't fully know what those are, but I can guess I'm sorry that describes your circumstances. ):
I hope you're cultivating your sense of self with every moment to moment decision you make. Follow your heart. You are a bright light of hope in this world, too.
Omg that's almost exactly my childhood experience. Unknown operations and procedures, countless bloodwork that left a scar, so much medication
I have always wondered if Factitious Disorder was linked in some way with NPD.
I am the mother of twins and c section is normal and my bigger twin daughter was only bigger the first year
OMG the triangulation between you and your sister
:? Tell me more?
Omg I did not even consider my birth, yes I was getting tested for special things from birth that were not existent. She had a condition that apparantly only occured in pregnant women. I spent half of my childhood at home sick.
Honestly I think a lot of kids want to wear a cast on their arm or leg but only so other kids will come sign it and draw pictures on it. I don’t have munchausen but as a kid I wanted a cast at one point.
Thank you for normalizing this!! I feel at a loss of perspective when considering things like this. 🙏
I agree. When I broke my arm, I had a bunch of other kids tell me they wanted to break their arm or leg for a cast. They thought it was cool.
It’s hard because Nikki and Kelly, like... they were so fun... but they blamed every fault on the child, not noticing that children behave oddly if something is going on at home.
What evil was wrought upon you and your siblings... ::( thanks for your video-
Oh my goodness. I am a twin, born by c-section, and am just realizing tonight that I think my mom has munchusen, and am wondering if I had it by proxy when I was young. I even had pneumonia twice!
munchie by proxy means you or another person is doing it to another person..... if you yourself was doing fake illness to yourself, then yuod just be called a munchie.... i knew a few folks who were self munchies when i lived in new england, they faked being disabled, one of them also faked health issues as well as disabilities....its disgusting
I know this video is years old but it’s the closest thing i’ve seen to my experience of this. Do you think also that a parent coercing their child into an eating/body image disorder is a version of MBP?
I went through this too
I think of starting no contact with my dad next year when I go to college.
If you continue to feel your inner compass guiding you in that direction, I say honor that feeling. The decision doesn't have to last forever. Even just a little distance does wonders. I am similarly young growing through this, and I couldn't really begin to find myself before distancing myself from my family. I was too stuck in lies, manipulation, people pleasing, FOG... sooo much fog.
Anywho, whatever you decide to do, a little distance or a lot, I hope it creates space for the experience of true unconditional love, and more joy to fill your life! You're a strong and good person no matter what you do!! In hard times, think of yourself in ten years. Independent, empowered, healthy and happy. If you want to talk about your situation more in depth, I'm here! or, I encourage you to about this to people around you. You'd be surprised, at least I was, at what great support and understanding there is all around us. We're not alone. We were raised totally not believing that to be the case. Sending you strength and hugs! Trust it'll all be okay (:
LOL “I’m gonna start with the day I was born.” Hahahah yuuuup. - mom actually says that she had a c section scheduled the whole time because “Daniel broke her pelvis,” however! She demanded total anesthesia, so we weren’t held until 5 hours after birth. Also you weren’t breastfed. So.... how many lies are in that...
Isnt that interesting, my mother also wanted no part of my birth. Insisted on full anesthesia and "couldnt breastfeed". I was actually quite neglected in my first year. I never considered that the birth story could also be a part of the munchausen story
Yeah same I'd want to be hospitalized just to get attention as a kid
What do you call narcissist parents that want people to think you have mental health problems?? When it’s them who has the problem?? It doesn’t exactly fit this diagnosis but they sure all do that!
I’m not sure this would rise to the level of munchausens, but certainly horrible factitiious disorder which must have really screwed with your head.
Apropos of nothing, though. You have a lovely voice to listen to
why mild? its nothing mild
My friend's son is slowly and methodically being convinced that he is 'disabled' due to an inability to learn. I dispute her claims in court, and find the boy to be extremely intelligent. He has stopped talking about learning to drive, and attending school. I should mention that he is going on 17. There is no reasonable discussion between his mother and my friend, she is a bonafide narc, like hits every single criteria for diagnosis. Of course she accuses my friend of being one. She is currently fighting in court for permanent child support, and spousal, as she too claims she is disabled, and cannot work. If she is successful, this boys life is over. My friend will have to pay these supports, and she gets many tax benefits (did I mention she was a trained accountant), and disability benefits.
My heart bleeds for this boy. I don't know how to help my friend either. Is there anyway of bringing this up in court without him being put through hell? Courts are already set against males, as a rule.
Borrrring!😴😴😴😴😴😴😴
🤔
@@ProactiveResilience Sorry to say that but your video damn near put me to sleep. Lololol. 😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴
Sorry but I don't accept apologies that start with "sorry but". I respect that this video was not to your liking. I do not respect you or anyone who says inconsiderate and unkind opinions that negatively impacts the world around them, and wish people would instead practice self restraint and rather spend their precious time and energy doing, watching, sharing and expressing things that lift themselves and others up. To each their own, though.
@@ProactiveResilience 😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴
Troll. Rude. Sick.