It's the blatant truth that triggers them. INFJ's are the truth people. We live by the truth. That triggers them in a heartbeat. INFJs have a unique way of looking at the world. We are extremely honest and straightforward in our communication style. Sometimes we don't even understand how honest we are until we see the shocked looks on the faces of the people we are talking to.
It ranges from shock and awe 🫢 to hating my guts and pettiness. I kind of finish some comedic value on the latter, I’m not sure if I’m growing more cynical as I age. You’re spot on as always, letting them feel triggered on their own and living my life in my own terms has given me a lot of peace 🕊️
I need to find myself first as a INFJ's then I can comment on this note. But what I have experienced does people are scared of me when I am true to myself, like I speak what's there in my mind. 😝 People cannot handle it and it pears them deep, even sometime brings their true self in front of them. I don't know why I cannot do that for myself, that's the worst part of an INFJ's. But the best part is helping others give the next level of satisfaction. I like the point you mentioned about being a crutches will make are loved ones weak, setting healthy boundaries will definitely work. Thank you for always giving amazing and mind boggling suggestions and guidance ❤️❤️. Love from INFJ to INFJ 😘
Well. I shared with some new people I casually met that I was looking for a way to move into this location. I was offered work by one of them. The boss rented me a space. It was obvious I was someone they thought they could exploit then. I had to set boundaries with two male employees who are extremely misogynistic and put their hands on me, and when I set boundaries towards equality on tasks I was aggressively attacked by one of them, being a manager. I don't want to get into detail, but they believe in reinforcing shariah and in the destruction of the way of living we have in the West. I don't. Boundaries. I am currently getting work at a wonderful place in the area, pays better, people look after eachother there and do not tolerate harrassment. Power to you all 💪🫶🏻
I never knew how triggering we are until a covert narcissist tried to love scam me and proceeded to attack me with witchcraft when I refused to play their silly game. I’m glad I’m an INFJ because now this person is very confused and intimidated by me. People find out how truly powerful we are when they try to back us into a corner. Brilliant video. ❤
Yes, this is why I suppose this "friend" is covert narcissist, sadly, I really liked him at first. But then this one thing happened and our differences came noticed. He wanted to lie and never tell anyone about and my morals were thorn between starting loyal to him or the other person involved and especially myself. I thought he to easily could pretend all was well and then when I confronted him he wrote stuff like I was not the person he thought I was. That hit hard. Then I was blocked. 😮😅
As an INFJ, I learned my mistake as well with a suspected covert. When my eyes opened, the following quote makes perfect sense. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou I agree with Wenzes that I cannot/must not tolerate negativity and I know from experience what happens when I reject/mirror that back. I hope that I can get beyond my need to understand so that I can leave or limit involvement with negative people once they show who they are.
I’ve been told my entire life I’m intimidating for various reasons…I see through people. I call it like it is with no filter, especially if I care. I do rather than sit around and discuss 15!different ways to get it done. Can’t isn’t an option. In my 20’s I dumbed myself down. 30’s I began embracing myself. In my 40’s I’m full blown me. People can love me or hate but I’m going to be me. Some hate me at first, then respect me later.
I can not wait to get to the point of being authentically myself. I want to get there a lot sooner rather than later. I want to so badly to speed up the process. But I know it happens as you learn more about yourself when you’re in certain situations.
@@commoncitizen03 I know what you mean. Have you ever seen the picture of a kitten looking into a mirror and seeing a lion? You're probably the reverse of that mirror to them. INFJs unite!
We were kitten until people started bullying this innocent kitten, that’s how we realise that because we give our power away out of kindness, they believe they are better than us and treat us poorly
Let’s be real INFJ’s. Let's be real and take off the mask! Let our light shine. People will respect us for standing up for what we truly believe in. If we’re honest, we don’t want to live a fake life, even though we don't want to walk all over others. People may still get offended no matter how respectful we are. But one thing is for sure, we don't want to disrespect ourselves. We need to build up the courage to be disliked because there will always going to be someone who will dislike us. This is not our problem but rather people projecting their own insecurities. The most inspirational people in history were all disliked by some. We should refuse to live under their shadow and be our true authentic self. Now that’s true freedom!🌠
9:40 “If we trigger people enough, people will generally stay away from you.” That had me rolling!! 😂 I love and hate people at the same time. Thank you for this video. I’m in therapy right now. I’m working on being authentic. I have struggled with not wanting to hurt peoples feelings verses telling them the truth. I was raised to be a people pleaser too, so my wants and needs were always being sacrificed. When I started to set boundaries and speak the truth, I was attacked both physically (by one sister) and harassed by two of my other sisters. My parents took the side of the physically abusive sister when I pieced together a family secret that my parents wanted buried. I’ve already been abandoned by my nuclear family. I don’t hesitate now to speak up from the beginning of friendships and relationships. I have strong healthy boundaries that are better for my mental health. I protect my mental health and my daughter’s mental health at all costs.
I often experience this in real life: the more I am being myself, the more people get triggered and keep their distance from me. I’m getting used to it.
@@cledosliop4175 I’m nearing 70 and it’s been a hard lesson still. But I’ve had a lifetime of living on the outside so I can say “Chuck it all”, I’ve learned my need for people isn’t high, compared to a clean and sober mind free from drama.
@@snowyowlz5992you know it is sad, I understand fully this point of view, been there done that for decades. Now after all is said and done, I always catch myself and ask : is it worth it ? Does it affect my peace of mind and conscious( my concern now is my mental health above-all) again is it worth it? Then if the answer is now I simply sit and watch, detach …. It is non of my business, it is there choice. Yes it is easier said said than done especially for us infj’s, So I finally accepted that it takes time and time to practice 😅, and I will take how an athlete does simply : 😊practice again and again
When you act weak when you are strong, people wonder why you are acting weak. They think "If this person is acting weak when they are strong, they must think that we're weak, and want to match our energy." And it triggers them. When we act strong, it shows them that we think that they are strong too.
Woah, there it goes! Ofc this could be it. An ex friend was so afraid of being seen as naive, and that was just the way I saw her. Strong and powerful, not stupid, but pretty naive. And when I saw right through her she ran. Okay, some other messed up things happened, but yeah.
Trigger is my middle name :) Some people? Most people are running for the hills when I speak my truth. I was told I appear rigid and unthoughtful of other people's feelings, when actually I tell it like I see it and, most importantly, I do this only when asked to. Cheers!
I don’t want to stop intimidating others. If I trigger people that’s their problem. Those that are triggered or intimidated I don’t want in my life anyway. They’re usually evil. I could tell you a life time of people that were lying or evil to the core. I love people or feel people that are just wrong. Thanks Wenzes. 😊
Exactly what I was thinking. All the ppl who were triggered by me were disingenuous and fake. They couldn’t handle the truth. I’m not going to stop living my truth and being who I am.
People don't like having a mirror held up to their faces, they hate it when they realize you know. That you have them figured out. It always ends badly.
That's very true Wenzes. We being ourselves does trigger people, especially toxic people. Energy vampires. They want us to play a role as if we're in a movie and not as our true authentic self. My true self had been suppressed under layers of childhood trauma which broke through now and my inner child is healing. I'm still suffering Narcissistic abuse at the hands of my mother and I plan to leave. This is a great video, which explains a lot. Never allow people into your space who are not good for your mental health. I'm being more of myself day by day, thanks Wenzes. Sending my hugs to you 🤗.
I am an old INXX this resonates with how I have learned to live my INFJ life. Trigger 'em all. People immediately like me and I have a friend for life or bullies hate me and we're going to war. Wholesome way to live, IMHO.
This is the best video you have ever done. I have decided I am done with people who try to cause others to be afraid. Living in fear is not me, and I’m not going to let anyone affect me that way! If they try, they’re out of my life.
This is exactly what's happening to me with my in-laws now that I'm being my authentic self. I'm finding my peace, and it feels so good. The reaction has been to attack me in some way. I mirror it back and / or state my boundaries. I also show my boundries with my actions and laugh if those who are being triggered is absurd.
It's not that we act weak, at least I don't, my demeanor seems weak, I just want to relax and be myself and it's when others think in their minds to treat me as they would a weak person with disregard and disrespect that I put them in their place. I get tired of people not figuring how to act human to another Human!!!
When I am strong, though, I hear “who do you think you are, you think you’re better than everybody“ when I act weak and try to stay basically hidden in the shadows then I’m taken advantage of so there’s no win-win with insecure abusive people. Insecure people are just going to always be insecure. The truth is, if you do well in life, whether it’s in the arena of health or finance or personal sustenance you’re just going to be hated and gossiped about if you’re hanging around people who have less than you. The majority of those people for whatever reason will hate you. I never hated anybody who was more successful than me. I wanted to find out what they were doing so I could learn from them, so jealousy was never something I understood. I understand it now though and it’s a bitter pill to swallow and it’s unfair and it’s cruel. I don’t know why so many people have to be jealous. Why can’t they just want to use the knowledge you have and learn from it so they too can grow and then they wouldn’t be jealous. Go figure.
@@MamagaHDII it’s a good way to see people and their true character right up front. Just be your kind and humble, gentle self. The minute they start to jump in and pounce and take advantage and be dismissive and cruel. That’s when you give it right back to them. In a way they didn’t expect. Don’t respond to them literally mirror everything they do and then once you realize they understand then you door slam them. I’m sick of these people. Why can’t people just treat people right because everybody knows how to treat people right. Sadly, some people are just sent by the devil to destroy others. Some people enjoy being cruel and hateful because they are narcissistic or sociopathic.
People are always intimidated by me. I quit caring about that years ago. If anyone is worried about losing friends because you chose to be yourself then they weren't really your friends to begin with. You will meet very interesting individuals that you otherwise wouldn't and get used to saying I told you so cuz it never gets old
I am incredibly grateful that one day I saw this channel and started watching videos. I don't remember how long ago it was, but every month I feel a change in myself. For a couple of years I couldn't end a friendship that was too codependent, and now I'm trying to learn to live without it and doing therapy. Thank you for your advice. "Trigger them even more" made me laugh!
I really needed this video. My manager at work loves to push her negative energy towards me, but codes it as “constructive criticism.” I got promoted recently and am still learning my new role, and I know she might mean well by it, but all it comes across as is negative energy over situations I don’t have control over. Instead of “can I greet this table for you?” she comes over to ask “have you greeted them, because they’ve been waiting 10 minutes without anyone coming over and are like ‘what the fuck?’”
I think I might intimidate some people because I notice unless I really make an effort to make conversation with people, people tend to avoid me. That can be a good thing sometimes if I'm walking by sketchy people I don't want to talk to, but it sucks when trying to make friends. I'm also an introvert, so it's difficult to put in the effort to make friends.
After the mocking whenever I would share something, and, becoming almost invisible (!!!) I realized I was killing myself for a selfish, ignorant fool who (in hindsight) was unworthy of what I had to offer. Bye, Felicia.
Thank you for sharing this. It gives me the courage to keep being myself and feel less lonely ( at least someone in the world truly understands my struggle and inspires me to be me no matter what. )
Do you ever feel like people are digging for a reason to not like you? I feel this on a daily basis at work. I’m not sure if it’s jealousy that causes this but it feels like jealousy.
Or they feel uncomfortable looking in the mirror. I believe if we “choose” to see the best in people, we are more likely to have a better experience of them. If we get distracted by what feels like their uncomfortable behaviour by focusing on that, it can populate more, rather we can really imagine that they greet us with a smile, creating that reality on the inside of ourselves can have a transformative effect in our experience of others which is reflected in the world around us. This technique is described as “revision“ by Neville Goddard and also is the highest form of forgiveness, as we manifest for ourselves a better experience we elevate them and quicken our own awakening. Keep smiling keep shining, remain in different to the external, smile and the world smiles with you…😊
This video aligns with how I've been acting and reacting lately. I said to no one in particular the other day, "ha, I'm taking up space". Thank God I'm getting there and thank you Wenzes for your videos!
I love Sinead O'Connor and I always am inspired and motivated by her to be courageous and speak the truth. When she spoke the truth on SNL .. her piercing stare straight in the camera. . 💥💥
"The less people are able to create their own inner peace, the less they are going to have access to you at a deep psychological level." - This thought is why I needed to see this video today. Thank you Wenzes as usual, your video brings fresh perspectives and needed repetition into my life.
I'm gonna be honest. I think I'm probably an ENFJ, but a lot of what you talk about pertains to me. When I do what you're saying in this video, I end up with sort of weak friends. It annoys me. I also run into problems at work, where I speak truth but then I don't know what to do with that once everyone is triggered because they feel called out, or ineffective..which they are... So I end up just pleasing people in the moment. Which works quite well, until I tire of it..and that don't work so well lol
Oh I am so glad it is not only me who experience this. It always surprises me that other accuse me of "why are you doing it again ? " meaning why am I triggering them ? I came to conclusion that I must have some super power that triggers/ touches other people's wounds without any effort and of course unconsiously....and of course, I am not happy about it as the last thing on earth is me wanting to hurt others....it kinda hurts me and makes me wanna shut up and do not express myself anymore...it is not def not fun..
Gratitude Wenzes. This is an excellent video for INFJ s 👏 and we shall have to keep visiting it. People take so long to understand what we are communicating now that by the time they appreciate us , we have moved up to a higher truth.
Last night I finally got it that I’m an INFJ. The sermon at church this morning was all about identity and so many things made sense to me for the first time. I found Wenzes today and it’s wonderful to know this is real and has been there all along. I got here after doing EMDR for a year and now that the trauma and lies are gone I need to learn the truth of who I am. I love this!!!!
So true, my Dad literally tells my mum behind closed door, that I terrify him without me even trying. I later get to understand he falls in the spectrum of Covert Malignant Narcissist.
I am fully convinced that Wenzes is an angel sent from heaven specifically to heal me and help me get out of the loop I have been stuck in for years. How can this be soooooooooo accurate???!?!?!?!?
I couldn't agree more! I've spent too many years as an unhealthy INFJ but when I was in my 20s running a non-profit I founded, I was embracing this fully without even knowing that this is what I was doing. I found it so important looking back that everything I had built with the community helped give me the strength to stand firm in who I was. When you can see the impact that truth and guidance brings into people's life in such a direct way, the act can begin feels as effortless as breathing. Though the intensity of our emotions and feedback loops cut bot ways. Going to long without being able to embrace who we are and the truth that comes with it; can become an inescapable feeling of slowly suffocating under a mist of our own falsehoods.
Honestly perhaps one of the most helpful and interesting thoughts about INFJ life I have ever come across. Calling it useful would be an underestmation
I was always in the shell cool with myself.. loving everyone more than I should’ve.. I used to gave them everything and got nothing in return.. but I was okay with it thought I am the change the world needed… until At time everything I had was taken away.. mom got cancer,love left , finances were cleaned off… and a lot of debt… Funny thing was none of it was my fault.. it was God’s plan… it flipped the switch in me… I embrace the bad I need to be cared about nothing how people view me… and become true to myself and more closer to God as I think I needed that punishment.. coz now I’ve turned my life around and I am more than I ever could be….
Good video, was smiling a good amount of times during this video, to the fact how true it is. I kinda wrapped a longer thought threw this video. And thought about some sort of blueprint for ourselves on how we can assists others. One of our biggest desires is to help others become a better version of themselves. If a person gets triggered by something it usually means that whatever triggered them is some sort of topic that the person is not at peace with. (If it’s not a wild accusation or smth like that) So whenever we trigger someone consciously or subconsciously by being authentic, it gives the person the opportunity to face their problems or not. In the best case they are ready to face it. Now the best thing we can do here is to assist the person approaching their triggered topic. One thing we have to be careful about here is not stepping into our „I can’t take confrontations“ trap. What I mean by that is, that it can likely happen that if a person gets triggered, the person gets defensive and starts confronting us with our problems or something similar like projecting, probably to distract the conversation from the triggered situation. (You know what I mean). If we now stay at ease and don’t take the said personal we created an environment where the other person now can talk about the triggered situation and we can start slowly digging to the root of the problem. Right here our empathy can really help us understand the problems of the other person. By understanding we can now also give guidance or forms of support on how to approach the problem in a way the other person could face it since we also understand their fears and struggles. I also think the other person feeling understood can help encourage the person to now take the first steps towards approaching the problem. I hope that makes sense. (Atleast it does in my head xdd) In contrast if we are only being nice we never come to the state of triggering people which will prevent us from helping others. I feel like we have to find a good balance between being nice and triggering people, like I feel if we would only trigger people it would scare them away but if we are only nice we never get the opportunity to truly help them. What do you think about that ?
Wow Wenzes your insight is incredible! This is so helpful....just going through the transition now - not through choice but because I have triggered so many recently just by trying to be kind and helpful. It is so hard to stay authentic when you can feel the negative energy but with your support, I am managing to deflect it more than I ever could have imagined - Thank you so much xxx
Last night I tried an experiment on my totally narcissistic sister. First, when she made her grand arrival, I finished the story I was in the middle before acknowledging her. Then I gave her all the attention she was craving. As soon as she was all glowed up, I turned it off like a light and turned to the guest on my other side. She was shocked, then desperate to regain the attention. I refused to dim my light and it absolutely infuriated her that she couldn’t regain the center stage as I usually allow her. I expect full psychological warfare in response. I’m speaking the truth, even if I lose every member in my family. Bring it on! I’m 60 years old and I’m tired of constantly hiding my true self. And believe me, as an INFJ I have years of ammunition stored up if needed. Don’t push me too far!!
Now that I'm older, I find myself getting along with people a whole lot better. This year especially has been good. But I know that I've triggered people in the past and and most times it's been unintentional. My best thing is to behave in a way that is natural for me and communicate the message that I do things my way because that's what I was given to work with. No matter what their criticism might be, I still have to modify it so that it will fit. Sometimes I can agree with the odds or the principle of what they're saying but still continue to act in a way that is consistent with who I am. I can't say the responses have always been positive, but it sure beats what it was like when I wad afraid of their criticism.
INFJs can be psychologists, counselors during their life but afterwards when they are already individuated they serve as starseeds - especially being mirror to their geographical location. According with Trigueirinho books, “mirror” is the function of distributing high frequency naturally. You can even live secluded because this process happens naturally.
Thank you so much! I am almost a 100% certain that I am an INFJ... I have been having a lot of issues and i think you amongst other sources (mainly books 📚) are going to help me with "real life..." 👉👈
Very good - we have to love and accept people where they are at. The truth is that may not be a good place, but it doesn' t have anything to do with us. We can only help those that actually want help and accept that truth. Most people are just not ready for the truth. Other people are either going to love or hate us for being authentic. That's on them. You are right that everything depends on self love.
i've been following and appreciating your work for years now, and you've been such an inspiration to me. i really don't know how you're always able to put everything into such accurate words. as i finished watching this yet another wonderful video, i am thinking: if i were wenzes, in my darkest moments when in need of encouragement, i would rewatch my own videos. my gratitude is endless: one day i hope i can be for myself what, from the outside, it feels like you have been able to become for yourself :) thank you thank you thank you for all the heartfelt work you share with us!
My approach to criticism: If it's true embrace them, thank them, keep them close, like family, and adjust. If partially true shake their hand, thank them, they could be a valued friend, and adjust where needed. If completely untrue, a vindictive attack, thank them for caring enough and taking the time to address you, then ignore them and carry on as per usual. You (veiled sarcastically yet peaceably) thanking them for an attack will confound them completely and they'll avoid you like the plague.
Second time I am watching this video and I will likely watch it again. What a brilliant, brilliant video. This is very edifying. I wish I knew this earlier in life! Thank you so very much!!
Thank you - your videos have helped me make sense of my life. I only wish I had learned all this much earlier. Better late than never. Having fun with who I am now...
Energy massively up. Studied heavily employee productivity statistics. Utilized MBTI. Now managing other employees. Income went from 30,000 to 90,000 in the last 32 months. Steadily improving incrementally on various business units. Have a crush on a INFJ in Germany. Oh and giving around 1,000 every three months to ophans and abuse victims.
Is this what it would be like to have a healthy INFJ mother? I felt heard seen understood and a strong loving nudge to be who I am and that it's nothing wrong being so - so many goodies here -
~11.15 into feed. This is a tangent (sorry) but it is also about demonstrating discourse between an INFJ comfortable in their zone and another type playing by the conventions of their game/rules. I posted a comment and they said "that is a stretch". My reply was that it was not a stretch for integrative thinkers, because we see the fractal patterns and are not concerned about size. We see how this game played in this field here, could be replayed the same
Thank you for sharing with us and being a place where we can come to get clarification and encouragement for us INFJ's to be our authentic selves. It has been hard for me to stay with an employer for more than a couple of years. Is it me, but it always feels like I slowly become a target by my supervisor, even if I get aling great with those I work closely with. Do other INFJ's have problems at work? Is it best for us to be self-employed?
You talk to exact point for INFJ's❤, so pinpointed that I'm scared how can you know me so much. 😂 One issue is how to know who I am, I had lost myself somewhere in past may be as a child, now as an adult how am I suppose to get me back?
“How you feel is 100% about you” no one can make you feel anything, like all things, it’s an inside job. So if you’re angered, offended, hurt, upset, joyful, happy, grateful etc, they are your emotions that you feel, not something that someone else has done to you.
Wait does this mean that if others trigger me I’m actually feeling what they’re feeling about me, triggered?? Cause I feel constantly triggered by others and wonder why I’m so sensitive.
Great video Wenzes although I have to disagree about us not being perfect, everyone and everything is perfect as we were created and perfected by God... Maybe use another term, like static?? I.e. "we INFJs are not static"
What have the reactions been when you have tried to speak and live out your truth as an INFJ?
It's the blatant truth that triggers them. INFJ's are the truth people. We live by the truth. That triggers them in a heartbeat.
INFJs have a unique way of looking at the world. We are extremely honest and straightforward in our communication style. Sometimes we don't even understand how honest we are until we see the shocked looks on the faces of the people we are talking to.
It ranges from shock and awe 🫢 to hating my guts and pettiness. I kind of finish some comedic value on the latter, I’m not sure if I’m growing more cynical as I age. You’re spot on as always, letting them feel triggered on their own and living my life in my own terms has given me a lot of peace 🕊️
I need to find myself first as a INFJ's then I can comment on this note.
But what I have experienced does people are scared of me when I am true to myself, like I speak what's there in my mind. 😝
People cannot handle it and it pears them deep, even sometime brings their true self in front of them.
I don't know why I cannot do that for myself, that's the worst part of an INFJ's. But the best part is helping others give the next level of satisfaction. I like the point you mentioned about being a crutches will make are loved ones weak, setting healthy boundaries will definitely work.
Thank you for always giving amazing and mind boggling suggestions and guidance ❤️❤️. Love from INFJ to INFJ 😘
People don't give me a chance to speak.
Well. I shared with some new people I casually met that I was looking for a way to move into this location. I was offered work by one of them. The boss rented me a space. It was obvious I was someone they thought they could exploit then. I had to set boundaries with two male employees who are extremely misogynistic and put their hands on me, and when I set boundaries towards equality on tasks I was aggressively attacked by one of them, being a manager. I don't want to get into detail, but they believe in reinforcing shariah and in the destruction of the way of living we have in the West. I don't. Boundaries. I am currently getting work at a wonderful place in the area, pays better, people look after eachother there and do not tolerate harrassment. Power to you all 💪🫶🏻
People are imtimidated when you're your authentic self
I never knew how triggering we are until a covert narcissist tried to love scam me and proceeded to attack me with witchcraft when I refused to play their silly game. I’m glad I’m an INFJ because now this person is very confused and intimidated by me. People find out how truly powerful we are when they try to back us into a corner. Brilliant video. ❤
Yes, it's a brilliant video to remind us that we are on right path🎉
I've had a very similar situation with a covert narcissist. I've never seen someone exude so much hate towards me by me just being myself. 😂
Yes, this is why I suppose this "friend" is covert narcissist, sadly, I really liked him at first. But then this one thing happened and our differences came noticed. He wanted to lie and never tell anyone about and my morals were thorn between starting loyal to him or the other person involved and especially myself. I thought he to easily could pretend all was well and then when I confronted him he wrote stuff like I was not the person he thought I was. That hit hard. Then I was blocked. 😮😅
As an INFJ, I learned my mistake as well with a suspected covert. When my eyes opened, the following quote makes perfect sense.
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
Maya Angelou
I agree with Wenzes that I cannot/must not tolerate negativity and I know from experience what happens when I reject/mirror that back. I hope that I can get beyond my need to understand so that I can leave or limit involvement with negative people once they show who they are.
That’s crazy witch craft??
I’ve been told my entire life I’m intimidating for various reasons…I see through people. I call it like it is with no filter, especially if I care. I do rather than sit around and discuss 15!different ways to get it done. Can’t isn’t an option. In my 20’s I dumbed myself down. 30’s I began embracing myself. In my 40’s I’m full blown me. People can love me or hate but I’m going to be me. Some hate me at first, then respect me later.
Same
No filter is not good frontal lobe dysfunction no inhibition. Watch what you say someone may get really pissed and make you sorry. I wouldn't brag.
I can not wait to get to the point of being authentically myself. I want to get there a lot sooner rather than later. I want to so badly to speed up the process. But I know it happens as you learn more about yourself when you’re in certain situations.
I’m honest. I hv a filter, totally, but I am still so honest that ppl are bothered by it. Even if I’m being nice in how i say it.
People have long said I look intimidating when I consider myself a kitten, truthfully.
I love your idea of kitten. Lol
@@commoncitizen03 I know what you mean. Have you ever seen the picture of a kitten looking into a mirror and seeing a lion? You're probably the reverse of that mirror to them. INFJs unite!
Same here!
We were kitten until people started bullying this innocent kitten, that’s how we realise that because we give our power away out of kindness, they believe they are better than us and treat us poorly
@akataa well said, let's unite👍
I know I’m powerful as an INFJ, but it’s so lonely since not many people can match my energy.
yes, I'm finding that too
Same ❤
Ever hear of someone being TMW?
@@jasonkrick1614huh?
@@Chillipep T=Too M=Much W=Work
With great power comes great responsibility. We are given this power because its known we wont abuse it
Well said.
I was just thinking of people catfishing on the bottom to criticize.
I’m going to start ploting them with truths. Help them out a bit.
What an excellent statement!
True very true
Let’s be real INFJ’s. Let's be real and take off the mask! Let our light shine. People will respect us for standing up for what we truly believe in.
If we’re honest, we don’t want to live a fake life, even though we don't want to walk all over others. People may still get offended no matter how respectful we are. But one thing is for sure, we don't want to disrespect ourselves.
We need to build up the courage to be disliked because there will always going to be someone who will dislike us. This is not our problem but rather people projecting their own insecurities. The most inspirational people in history were all disliked by some. We should refuse to live under their shadow and be our true authentic self. Now that’s true freedom!🌠
It’s like walking on eggshells with most people once they realize they can’t ‘handle’ you…
I literally heard one of them telling me this specific phrase. 😂
9:40 “If we trigger people enough, people will generally stay away from you.” That had me rolling!! 😂 I love and hate people at the same time. Thank you for this video. I’m in therapy right now. I’m working on being authentic. I have struggled with not wanting to hurt peoples feelings verses telling them the truth. I was raised to be a people pleaser too, so my wants and needs were always being sacrificed. When I started to set boundaries and speak the truth, I was attacked both physically (by one sister) and harassed by two of my other sisters. My parents took the side of the physically abusive sister when I pieced together a family secret that my parents wanted buried. I’ve already been abandoned by my nuclear family. I don’t hesitate now to speak up from the beginning of friendships and relationships. I have strong healthy boundaries that are better for my mental health. I protect my mental health and my daughter’s mental health at all costs.
I dug into my wife’s family’s past and it’s ugly secrets, talk about UGLINESS, no wonder we left them.
I often experience this in real life: the more I am being myself, the more people get triggered and keep their distance from me. I’m getting used to it.
@@cledosliop4175 I’m nearing 70 and it’s been a hard lesson still. But I’ve had a lifetime of living on the outside so I can say “Chuck it all”, I’ve learned my need for people isn’t high, compared to a clean and sober mind free from drama.
@@snowyowlz5992you know it is sad, I understand fully this point of view, been there done that for decades.
Now after all is said and done, I always catch myself and ask : is it worth it ?
Does it affect my peace of mind and conscious( my concern now is my mental health above-all) again is it worth it?
Then if the answer is now I simply sit and watch, detach …. It is non of my business, it is there choice. Yes it is easier said said than done especially for us infj’s,
So I finally accepted that it takes time and time to practice 😅, and I will take how an athlete does simply : 😊practice again and again
💪🏽 🫂❤️
When you act weak when you are strong, people wonder why you are acting weak. They think "If this person is acting weak when they are strong, they must think that we're weak, and want to match our energy." And it triggers them. When we act strong, it shows them that we think that they are strong too.
Woah, there it goes! Ofc this could be it. An ex friend was so afraid of being seen as naive, and that was just the way I saw her. Strong and powerful, not stupid, but pretty naive. And when I saw right through her she ran. Okay, some other messed up things happened, but yeah.
Trigger is my middle name :) Some people? Most people are running for the hills when I speak my truth. I was told I appear rigid and unthoughtful of other people's feelings, when actually I tell it like I see it and, most importantly, I do this only when asked to. Cheers!
Wenzes saying, "The transition period will be hard for sure..." felt so reassuring
I don’t want to stop intimidating others. If I trigger people that’s their problem. Those that are triggered or intimidated I don’t want in my life anyway. They’re usually evil. I could tell you a life time of people that were lying or evil to the core. I love people or feel people that are just wrong. Thanks Wenzes. 😊
Exactly what I was thinking. All the ppl who were triggered by me were disingenuous and fake. They couldn’t handle the truth. I’m not going to stop living my truth and being who I am.
People don't like having a mirror held up to their faces, they hate it when they realize you know. That you have them figured out. It always ends badly.
That's very true Wenzes. We being ourselves does trigger people, especially toxic people. Energy vampires. They want us to play a role as if we're in a movie and not as our true authentic self. My true self had been suppressed under layers of childhood trauma which broke through now and my inner child is healing. I'm still suffering Narcissistic abuse at the hands of my mother and I plan to leave.
This is a great video, which explains a lot. Never allow people into your space who are not good for your mental health.
I'm being more of myself day by day, thanks Wenzes. Sending my hugs to you 🤗.
I am an old INXX this resonates with how I have learned to live my INFJ life. Trigger 'em all. People immediately like me and I have a friend for life or bullies hate me and we're going to war. Wholesome way to live, IMHO.
Me too
This is the best video you have ever done. I have decided I am done with people who try to cause others to be afraid. Living in fear is not me, and I’m not going to let anyone affect me that way! If they try, they’re out of my life.
This is exactly what's happening to me with my in-laws now that I'm being my authentic self. I'm finding my peace, and it feels so good. The reaction has been to attack me in some way. I mirror it back and / or state my boundaries. I also show my boundries with my actions and laugh if those who are being triggered is absurd.
The reason why people are triggered by us acting weak when we are strong, is because it's not natural. When we act strong that is natural.
It's not that we act weak, at least I don't, my demeanor seems weak, I just want to relax and be myself and it's when others think in their minds to treat me as they would a weak person with disregard and disrespect that I put them in their place. I get tired of people not figuring how to act human to another Human!!!
👏👏👏👏👏
When I am strong, though, I hear “who do you think you are, you think you’re better than everybody“ when I act weak and try to stay basically hidden in the shadows then I’m taken advantage of so there’s no win-win with insecure abusive people. Insecure people are just going to always be insecure. The truth is, if you do well in life, whether it’s in the arena of health or finance or personal sustenance you’re just going to be hated and gossiped about if you’re hanging around people who have less than you. The majority of those people for whatever reason will hate you. I never hated anybody who was more successful than me. I wanted to find out what they were doing so I could learn from them, so jealousy was never something I understood. I understand it now though and it’s a bitter pill to swallow and it’s unfair and it’s cruel. I don’t know why so many people have to be jealous. Why can’t they just want to use the knowledge you have and learn from it so they too can grow and then they wouldn’t be jealous. Go figure.
@@MamagaHDII it’s a good way to see people and their true character right up front. Just be your kind and humble, gentle self. The minute they start to jump in and pounce and take advantage and be dismissive and cruel. That’s when you give it right back to them. In a way they didn’t expect. Don’t respond to them literally mirror everything they do and then once you realize they understand then you door slam them. I’m sick of these people. Why can’t people just treat people right because everybody knows how to treat people right. Sadly, some people are just sent by the devil to destroy others. Some people enjoy being cruel and hateful because they are narcissistic or sociopathic.
@@MamagaHDII 100%
People are always intimidated by me. I quit caring about that years ago. If anyone is worried about losing friends because you chose to be yourself then they weren't really your friends to begin with. You will meet very interesting individuals that you otherwise wouldn't and get used to saying I told you so cuz it never gets old
I am incredibly grateful that one day I saw this channel and started watching videos. I don't remember how long ago it was, but every month I feel a change in myself. For a couple of years I couldn't end a friendship that was too codependent, and now I'm trying to learn to live without it and doing therapy. Thank you for your advice. "Trigger them even more" made me laugh!
I really needed this video. My manager at work loves to push her negative energy towards me, but codes it as “constructive criticism.” I got promoted recently and am still learning my new role, and I know she might mean well by it, but all it comes across as is negative energy over situations I don’t have control over. Instead of “can I greet this table for you?” she comes over to ask “have you greeted them, because they’ve been waiting 10 minutes without anyone coming over and are like ‘what the fuck?’”
I think I might intimidate some people because I notice unless I really make an effort to make conversation with people, people tend to avoid me. That can be a good thing sometimes if I'm walking by sketchy people I don't want to talk to, but it sucks when trying to make friends. I'm also an introvert, so it's difficult to put in the effort to make friends.
I got you 😅
After the mocking whenever I would share something, and, becoming almost invisible (!!!) I realized I was killing myself for a selfish, ignorant fool who (in hindsight) was unworthy of what I had to offer.
Bye, Felicia.
Thank you for sharing this. It gives me the courage to keep being myself and feel less lonely ( at least someone in the world truly understands my struggle and inspires me to be me no matter what. )
Do you ever feel like people are digging for a reason to not like you? I feel this on a daily basis at work. I’m not sure if it’s jealousy that causes this but it feels like jealousy.
most likely.
Or they feel uncomfortable looking in the mirror.
I believe if we “choose” to see the best in people, we are more likely to have a better experience of them. If we get distracted by what feels like their uncomfortable behaviour by focusing on that, it can populate more, rather we can really imagine that they greet us with a smile, creating that reality on the inside of ourselves can have a transformative effect in our experience of others which is reflected in the world around us.
This technique is described as “revision“ by Neville Goddard and also is the highest form of forgiveness, as we manifest for ourselves a better experience we elevate them and quicken our own awakening. Keep smiling keep shining, remain in different to the external, smile and the world smiles with you…😊
It's technically envy... and yes if you are naturally talented at anything or have nice toys people will be pissed
𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜
𝚆𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 & 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚞𝚜 𝚏𝚞𝚕𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 ✨
Thank you. You nailed it! It's the value system.
We would not avoid Truth in order to avoid suffering.
Living a lie is the real suffering.
This video aligns with how I've been acting and reacting lately. I said to no one in particular the other day, "ha, I'm taking up space". Thank God I'm getting there and thank you Wenzes for your videos!
I love Sinead O'Connor and I always am inspired and motivated by her to be courageous and speak the truth. When she spoke the truth on SNL .. her piercing stare straight in the camera. . 💥💥
"The less people are able to create their own inner peace, the less they are going to have access to you at a deep psychological level." - This thought is why I needed to see this video today. Thank you Wenzes as usual, your video brings fresh perspectives and needed repetition into my life.
I'm gonna be honest. I think I'm probably an ENFJ, but a lot of what you talk about pertains to me. When I do what you're saying in this video, I end up with sort of weak friends. It annoys me. I also run into problems at work, where I speak truth but then I don't know what to do with that once everyone is triggered because they feel called out, or ineffective..which they are... So I end up just pleasing people in the moment. Which works quite well, until I tire of it..and that don't work so well lol
Oh I am so glad it is not only me who experience this. It always surprises me that other accuse me of "why are you doing it again ? " meaning why am I triggering them ? I came to conclusion that I must have some super power that triggers/ touches other people's wounds without any effort and of course unconsiously....and of course, I am not happy about it as the last thing on earth is me wanting to hurt others....it kinda hurts me and makes me wanna shut up and do not express myself anymore...it is not def not fun..
Gratitude Wenzes. This is an excellent video for INFJ s 👏 and we shall have to keep visiting it. People take so long to understand what we are communicating now that by the time they appreciate us , we have moved up to a higher truth.
Negative energy is extremely exhausting to us.
Last night I finally got it that I’m an INFJ. The sermon at church this morning was all about identity and so many things made sense to me for the first time. I found Wenzes today and it’s wonderful to know this is real and has been there all along. I got here after doing EMDR for a year and now that the trauma and lies are gone I need to learn the truth of who I am. I love this!!!!
So true, my Dad literally tells my mum behind closed door, that I terrify him without me even trying.
I later get to understand he falls in the spectrum of Covert Malignant Narcissist.
I am fully convinced that Wenzes is an angel sent from heaven specifically to heal me and help me get out of the loop I have been stuck in for years. How can this be soooooooooo accurate???!?!?!?!?
Ah! “Our job is to show you the truth and then you can decide what you want to do with it.”
Indeed. We just want authenticity.
Your videos are truly a blessing! They’ve helped me so much.
I couldn't agree more! I've spent too many years as an unhealthy INFJ but when I was in my 20s running a non-profit I founded, I was embracing this fully without even knowing that this is what I was doing. I found it so important looking back that everything I had built with the community helped give me the strength to stand firm in who I was.
When you can see the impact that truth and guidance brings into people's life in such a direct way, the act can begin feels as effortless as breathing. Though the intensity of our emotions and feedback loops cut bot ways. Going to long without being able to embrace who we are and the truth that comes with it; can become an inescapable feeling of slowly suffocating under a mist of our own falsehoods.
Honestly perhaps one of the most helpful and interesting thoughts about INFJ life I have ever come across. Calling it useful would be an underestmation
I was always in the shell cool with myself.. loving everyone more than I should’ve.. I used to gave them everything and got nothing in return.. but I was okay with it thought I am the change the world needed… until At time everything I had was taken away.. mom got cancer,love left , finances were cleaned off… and a lot of debt…
Funny thing was none of it was my fault.. it was God’s plan… it flipped the switch in me… I embrace the bad I need to be cared about nothing how people view me… and become true to myself and more closer to God as I think I needed that punishment.. coz now I’ve turned my life around and I am more than I ever could be….
Omg I have been told I am intimidating in the way I speak, I don’t see it, I am calm and truthful. I guess I am triggering lol
Good video, was smiling a good amount of times during this video, to the fact how true it is.
I kinda wrapped a longer thought threw this video. And thought about some sort of blueprint for ourselves on how we can assists others.
One of our biggest desires is to help others become a better version of themselves. If a person gets triggered by something it usually means that whatever triggered them is some sort of topic that the person is not at peace with. (If it’s not a wild accusation or smth like that)
So whenever we trigger someone consciously or subconsciously by being authentic, it gives the person the opportunity to face their problems or not. In the best case they are ready to face it. Now the best thing we can do here is to assist the person approaching their triggered topic. One thing we have to be careful about here is not stepping into our „I can’t take confrontations“ trap. What I mean by that is, that it can likely happen that if a person gets triggered, the person gets defensive and starts confronting us with our problems or something similar like projecting, probably to distract the conversation from the triggered situation. (You know what I mean).
If we now stay at ease and don’t take the said personal we created an environment where the other person now can talk about the triggered situation and we can start slowly digging to the root of the problem.
Right here our empathy can really help us understand the problems of the other person. By understanding we can now also give guidance or forms of support on how to approach the problem in a way the other person could face it since we also understand their fears and struggles.
I also think the other person feeling understood can help encourage the person to now take the first steps towards approaching the problem.
I hope that makes sense. (Atleast it does in my head xdd)
In contrast if we are only being nice we never come to the state of triggering people which will prevent us from helping others.
I feel like we have to find a good balance between being nice and triggering people, like I feel if we would only trigger people it would scare them away but if we are only nice we never get the opportunity to truly help them.
What do you think about that ?
Wow Wenzes your insight is incredible! This is so helpful....just going through the transition now - not through choice but because I have triggered so many recently just by trying to be kind and helpful.
It is so hard to stay authentic when you can feel the negative energy but with your support, I am managing to deflect it more than I ever could have imagined - Thank you so much xxx
Yes you want to back down when the negative energy comes but keep going. Go harder. Trigger them more by being yourself
Last night I tried an experiment on my totally narcissistic sister. First, when she made her grand arrival, I finished the story I was in the middle before acknowledging her. Then I gave her all the attention she was craving. As soon as she was all glowed up, I turned it off like a light and turned to the guest on my other side. She was shocked, then desperate to regain the attention. I refused to dim my light and it absolutely infuriated her that she couldn’t regain the center stage as I usually allow her. I expect full psychological warfare in response. I’m speaking the truth, even if I lose every member in my family. Bring it on! I’m 60 years old and I’m tired of constantly hiding my true self. And believe me, as an INFJ I have years of ammunition stored up if needed. Don’t push me too far!!
The INFJ emotions are an organized chaos ❤
Now that I'm older, I find myself getting along with people a whole lot better. This year especially has been good.
But I know that I've triggered people in the past and and most times it's been unintentional. My best thing is to behave in a way that is natural for me and communicate the message that I do things my way because that's what I was given to work with. No matter what their criticism might be, I still have to modify it so that it will fit. Sometimes I can agree with the odds or the principle of what they're saying but still continue to act in a way that is consistent with who I am. I can't say the responses have always been positive, but it sure beats what it was like when I wad afraid of their criticism.
I have been rocking the boat all my life. I had wondered why it was so hard for me not to.
Thanks.
INFJs can be psychologists, counselors during their life but afterwards when they are already individuated they serve as starseeds - especially being mirror to their geographical location. According with Trigueirinho books, “mirror” is the function of distributing high frequency naturally. You can even live secluded because this process happens naturally.
I love you Wenzes haha, thanks for this massive breakthrough on my journey. I’ve been coming into this state of awareness more.
Harsh truths I realized over the last six years. Weird feeling to hear a proper analysis over all these. Thank you for the videos.
Thankyou for being a light Wenzes
Thank you so much! I am almost a 100% certain that I am an INFJ... I have been having a lot of issues and i think you amongst other sources (mainly books 📚) are going to help me with "real life..." 👉👈
Very good - we have to love and accept people where they are at. The truth is that may not be a good place, but it doesn' t have anything to do with us. We can only help those that actually want help and accept that truth. Most people are just not ready for the truth. Other people are either going to love or hate us for being authentic. That's on them. You are right that everything depends on self love.
i've been following and appreciating your work for years now, and you've been such an inspiration to me. i really don't know how you're always able to put everything into such accurate words. as i finished watching this yet another wonderful video, i am thinking: if i were wenzes, in my darkest moments when in need of encouragement, i would rewatch my own videos. my gratitude is endless: one day i hope i can be for myself what, from the outside, it feels like you have been able to become for yourself :) thank you thank you thank you for all the heartfelt work you share with us!
My approach to criticism:
If it's true embrace them, thank them, keep them close, like family, and adjust.
If partially true shake their hand, thank them, they could be a valued friend, and adjust where needed.
If completely untrue, a vindictive attack, thank them for caring enough and taking the time to address you, then ignore them and carry on as per usual. You (veiled sarcastically yet peaceably) thanking them for an attack will confound them completely and they'll avoid you like the plague.
I just love this girl! ❤I’m so grateful for the community she has built for us! ❤❤
Second time I am watching this video and I will likely watch it again. What a brilliant, brilliant video. This is very edifying. I wish I knew this earlier in life! Thank you so very much!!
Your videos are just so inspiring! Thank you so much❤
I JUST WANTED TO GET MY LIFE SOUGHTED OUT AND I WAS TRYING TO DO IT PRIVATELY BUT PEOPLE JUST GET IN THE WAY 🇦🇺💯
Thank you - your videos have helped me make sense of my life. I only wish I had learned all this much earlier. Better late than never. Having fun with who I am now...
This video is the answer to a tricky situation I am facing right now - thank you Wenzes!
Energy massively up. Studied heavily employee productivity statistics.
Utilized MBTI. Now managing other employees.
Income went from 30,000 to 90,000 in the last 32 months. Steadily improving incrementally on various business units.
Have a crush on a INFJ in Germany. Oh and giving around 1,000 every three months to ophans and abuse victims.
Insightful and reassuring. Thanks for creating and sharing the content!!
Wenzes, i love You! Thank you for another absolute gem 🙏❤❤❤
Is this what it would be like to have a healthy INFJ mother? I felt heard seen understood and a strong loving nudge to be who I am and that it's nothing wrong being so - so many goodies here -
I so needed this just at this time in my life!
Fantastic. Very well said Wenzes
Oh, Wenzes, I've oh-so heard it out!
I’m living for these videos…
As always, thank you, beloved Soul
Haha this is so spot on. Love your posts. Thank you.
This is exactly what I needed today.... Thank you 🥰
~11.15 into feed. This is a tangent (sorry) but it is also about demonstrating discourse between an INFJ comfortable in their zone and another type playing by the conventions of their game/rules. I posted a comment and they said "that is a stretch". My reply was that it was not a stretch for integrative thinkers, because we see the fractal patterns and are not concerned about size. We see how this game played in this field here, could be replayed the same
Thank you for sharing with us and being a place where we can come to get clarification and encouragement for us INFJ's to be our authentic selves. It has been hard for me to stay with an employer for more than a couple of years. Is it me, but it always feels like I slowly become a target by my supervisor, even if I get aling great with those I work closely with. Do other INFJ's have problems at work? Is it best for us to be self-employed?
Same! Great question
Yes, others have the same problem. I'm now self-employed as a result.
Any suggestions for industries for us INFJ folks to start a business in?😉
@MariaBM1 congratulations! May I ask what business did you start. I'm looking at a couple different options
@candiegir8839: Mam tak samo.
much needed message- thank you!
You talk to exact point for INFJ's❤, so pinpointed that I'm scared how can you know me so much. 😂
One issue is how to know who I am, I had lost myself somewhere in past may be as a child, now as an adult how am I suppose to get me back?
You are awesome!
Lots of great points as usual.
Great eye opening video ❤
I loved my black wolf❤
This video is brilliant!
it is so humbling.
Like what I always say about myself 😊😊😊 they cannot contain me inside a box because I had my own unique personality
Lady, I AM THE BIG BAD WOLF. 🐺
Thank you Wenzes❤
“How you feel is 100% about you” no one can make you feel anything, like all things, it’s an inside job. So if you’re angered, offended, hurt, upset, joyful, happy, grateful etc, they are your emotions that you feel, not something that someone else has done to you.
Thank you!
You can look up embracing the shadow through some of Carl Jung work
Wait does this mean that if others trigger me I’m actually feeling what they’re feeling about me, triggered?? Cause I feel constantly triggered by others and wonder why I’m so sensitive.
Perfect
In the Harry Potter books, Remus Lupin is an InFJ…do u agree? But I like Remus. But I am an INFP.
I don't want people to be intimidated by me. I'm not a monster.
Injf never get constructive criticism most of them are hateful criticisms, all the pososite then infj that is always bringing constructive criticism.
Great video Wenzes although I have to disagree about us not being perfect, everyone and everything is perfect as we were created and perfected by God... Maybe use another term, like static?? I.e. "we INFJs are not static"
We trigger others simply by breathing.
Why would one wish to be understood by a world who can never understand them in the first place?!
ISFP; SBC(P), MM. Fi-Ni, not Ni-Ti.