In 2000 I booted my wife for being unfaithful. I spent a lot of $$ to get majority custody of our daughter. Court ordered her to pay me child support. after the 3rd payment she stopped paying. Every 8 months for *11 years* I received a letter from the idaho dhw telling me I was delinquent on my child support payments and risked losing my work licenses if I didn't pay. And every time I had to go downtown to explain that I was the recipient. Seems they just saw "delinquent" and assumed "deadbeat dad" w/o engaging a brain cell. yet there are still people out there that crave government control over all our lives. 🙄
That is when you go in front of a judge and have them order DHW to get their shit together or risk being held in contempt. I have seen lawyers shit themselves when they are on the verge of being held in contempt.
@@harrydbrownjr3021 - I had already spent $10K in atty/court fees getting divorced and custody, plus pay 1/2 the equity in my house to the ex. Though it was a minor pain in butt to go deal with the angry womyn in dhw every few months, I thought it would be worse to keep throwing money at lawyers and judges, too.
My nephew had to do this with his ex... Also proved in court that was claiming their daughter to get food stamps & section 8 housing. Also ALL the abortions she'd had because of her "sleeping" around. My great-niece would go over every other week-end, not for mom contact, but to keep an eye on her 1/2 sister who is 6 yrs younger than her. My great-niece has graduated from high school, has a job & now has committed to her girlfriend of 3 yrs & my nephew is now helping raise his multi-challenged step-daughter & battling his stage 3/4 cancer... Living life as best he can with what he can still do.
Same as my brother who is still held liable even though he is disabled at 60, my parents are paying it to keep him out of jail... Just another prime example of incompetence.
That's Idaho for you. Great legislative branch (they have good laws). Extremely corrupt judicial and executive branches. Very corrupt police and courts there especially in regards to children and custody.
I’m so glad you’re addressing this! I’m 63 yrs old. When I was 12 yrs old, my divorced mom moved me and my brother and sister 400 miles and 2 states away from our home town without my dad’s knowledge. There was no internet back then, dads didn’t have the rights women did, many states did not cooperate with a dad trying to find his kids, and hiring a detective was beyond his income bracket. Eleven or 12 years later, shortly after getting back in touch by mail, my dad, who was a fantastic man who loved his children and was heartbroken for years not knowing where we were, died suddenly before we could visit in person. My mother stole the best part of our lives from us because she was angry that he and his new wife gave birth to my half sister. Men and children should never have to go through this.
Although not entirely, but I have found that women are far more willing to use their children as weapons against not just the children’s father but anyone else they have any kind of falling out with. Snakes with tits!!!
I had a son in 1982 and was divorced the same year. The judge in Butler County Pa. Flat out said that “the child belongs with the mother and a father will never win a custody battle in my court” I spent nine years and $50000 in 80’s money and finally won custody from a woman that wanted to abort the pregnancy, was committed to the psychiatric ward, would show up for my “every other weekend “ visitation only to find out she had moved and would take months for the court to enforce my visitation. I jumped through every hoop and she did everything she could to sabotage me all because she found eighteen years of child support. Even to the point of claiming that I was “a poor male roll model “ because I worked construction and didn’t wear a suit and tie!
I was born and raised in Butler County Pa. My brothers ex wife moved out of state in around 2008ish with his girls. He hasn't seen them since. She's also told lies. Praying the girls will find him once they're old enough and find the truth for themselves.
I wore a suit and tie I was an engineer. I'm retired now but if I would have do this over again I would have become either an electrician or a welder. Any day of the week. God bless you man. It's messed up in judges like that need to be defrocked
@@amosacres5249 No chance. Their mother will absolutely poison them to think he's the devil and likely turn them into raging feminists who hate men in general. I've seen it so often it's practically become normal, and that scares me.
What's crazy, as you have shown, is that it's been that bad for half a century. Only as feminism and an incredibly biased family court system started dry-f*cking a significant percentage of the male population, has it come to light. Men are waking up in droves, and we're not participating anymore.
I had a "friend" who straight up told me that she loved seeing my husband play with the kids and help around the house because hers never did either of those, so it was refreshing to know there were still men out there who could step up and do that. And then in passing, she said, "That's the most attractive thing a man can do." Cut to a few months later, I found out she'd been trying to flirt with him and get him alone and crap like that. Needless to say, we're not friends anymore. But now I have a term for what she was doing--mate poaching! Smh disgusting
I had a 'friend' like that. Would never even look at the geeky guys (like my husband). Then, she's left by her sporty guy while pregnant. After the baby was born, all of a sudden, she's at my house all the time. Pressing my husband to hold her baby bc her baby 'needed a male figure in her life'. Yeah, I agree, but not the man I'm married to and have my own child with! My husband was under-impressed. He would never consider cheating, never mind with a stick-figure red-head (I'm hispanic and round - much more his type) who would have ignored him bf he became a Dad and husband. I still booted her out of my life though... Who needs that?!?!
It's one of the few dating strategies humans have, they see something someone else has and want it. Irony is if they get it they feel less interested after obtaining said desire. It's a fine strategy for keeping our species alive, more diverse gene pool etc it has its draw backs.
When she talked about "mate poaching" about the halfway mark...reminded me of that Chris Rock joke where guys, when they see their bro's girl they go "I need a woman like her!" Women, on the otherhand, will look at a woman's man and think "I need to get HIM."
You nailed it. I'm just an average looking guy but I had a beautiful now ex-wife and a really hot, young girlfriend after her when I was young. My women acquaintances treated me much differently after they'd meet either my ex-wife or the hot, young girlfriend. I never had women flirt with me as hard as when they knew I was with a beautiful women, and it was obvious as a light switch being turned on after seeing who I was with, from casual friendship and small talk to full on interest in me and flirting.
The whole thing they were talking about with mate poaching and what Lauren was saying about how women she a man different once "vetted" by a woman? I found it a little odd she was explaining that since it was literally what the entire plot of what that movie Easy A with Emma Stone was about. She was pretending to get with nerdy guys to give them the "cred" for other girls to see then as having potential to date. I didn't realize this idea was so foreign. Hmmmm ....
@@Thagrynor Its not as much about it being completely foreign, I think, as it is about calling attention to the dynamic both for the sake of "hey this helps" as well as "pay attention to your bullshit."
A pregnant woman is hit by a car.... She is sent into a coma for 1 year. She wakes up, no longer pregnant, screaming," Doctor! Doctor! Where is my baby?" The doctor replies, "Calm down, your babies are fine. You had twins! a girl and a boy. We gave them to your brother to watch while you were in the hospital." She says,"My brother? That guy is a moron! Why would you do that?" "I am sorry ma'am, we had no choice. There was nobody else. He even took the liberty of naming them." "What?"she says. "What did he name my daughter?" "He named her 'Denise,' " says the doctor. "Oh, well, that's not so bad. What did he name my son?" To which the doctor replies, "He named him 'Denephew' "
If a man displays masculine traits, it’s labeled as toxic and hostile towards women. If a woman displays those exact same traits, it’s considered empowering and strong. I guess this is the “equality” I keep hearing about from women.
@@StefenVincent there are alot of those in feminism; everything about feminism has always been lies. Even the right to vote was not supported by most women. Those women assumed the right to vote would come with the duties expected of a voting citizen... Chiefly military conscription via the draft.
Virginia State dad here..... The "every other weekend because mom's get the child by default", is STILL very much practiced in my area. The judge (a modern feminist) didn't listen to anything me or my attorney had to say from the start. She took the lies from my cheating ex, put me -$4,500 in child support instantly, and I got every other weekend and split holidays with my son. It took me 2 different attorneys and 5 years of fighting in court to get my son any extra time (a whole 1-1/2 extra days a week) and reduced the child support (down from $500 a week, based from my lying ex but that's a story in itself). I watched this judge go from barely acknowledging my 1st attorney and myself (1st attorney was male and she apparently hated him) but changed completely when I hired a female attorney. The judge's interactions with my female attorney in the court room , made it all sink in like a ton of bricks. My son is 16 now and 80% of his life (I've never lived more than 30 minutes away from him) I've not been there because of this jackass judge's first ruling.... These judges in my area, look at the fathers like they are paychecks to the state: change my mind.
Not shocked, Nick is woefully naive about reality for men and young people out there. I went $15K in debt fighting to free my kids from my physically abusive ex wife.
Worse that judge never considered you a good man, they thought you were wrong from the start because your a man and the word of law means shit to her. You should do everything in your power to get her fired along with exposing judges like her, in fact tell me about her and I’ll help spread support about her.
@@vedinthorn Okay, and then you get slapped with a protective order and locked up when she lies about you violating it. How exactly does that help you?
Ive noticed this weird trend where women who hate men never seem to hate automobiles, airplanes, electricity, air conditioning, paved roads, computers, telephones, the internet etc etc etc
Right like it’s always crapping on men for starting wars. Never appreciation for all the things men built and did. Constant sacrifice of life, sweat, and blood to make the world a better place. Most men are good but unfortunately we get lumped in with the bad ones
And, even weirder; almost none of them want to fix these things that they love themselves, want men to fix them for them, but also want to say that they don't need men in any way whatsoever.
Years ago I heard about a judge who ordered that the kids lived in one house and the parents shared custody each staying in that house every other week. It gave the kids better stability.
And that is also true of the distasteful women you see all across social media. Most metrica show 80+% of the population has remained unchanged in the last 20 years. Only the extremes at the ends have changed. Its still the status quo to have 4 relationships prior to finding a long term one. Its been that for over 20 years. Most of the younger guys looking for women are looking on the internet or in a bar or some other similar institution. I went through probably 4 or 5 relationships before my current 5 year relationship. Most of those girls I broke up with or moved on from weren't terrible people, we just didn't click. Like I haven't seen this abundance of horrible women all these whiney dudes online are talking about. I met girls through friends or value oriented institutions, like charities, volunteer work, churches, etc.. You are unlikely to shift through a trash pile and find a diamond lol. I'd you all you are finding is trash, you are in a trash pile. My girlfriend, who works at my company, gets of work and makes me dinner 3-4 times a week because she wants to. She wants to because I set VERY high expectations for myself and live up to them. I don't drink. I don't smoke. Im not addicted to porn. I'm family oriented. Alot of dudes think just existing and having a job is satisfactory. They have mediocre expectations for themselves. I'm a 5 aesthetically. Maybe a 6 if I'm in shape. My girlfriend is an easy 7-8. I turned down other attractive girls for this current relationship. It was all due to the high expectations I have for myself, and how that has developed my personality over time. I didnt have a lot of money at the time either.
or…this broad is a chameleon grifter tapping into male idiocy. ? Occams razor suggests chameleons. Change the law before I put ANY consideration griftererwise into the possibility.
I am a son who only got to see my dad every other weekend since 2. I do not have a strong relationship with any of my family, but am at least on good terms with most. As I got a little older I was allowed to stay with my dad over the summers and for quite a few holidays. I consider myself lucky in the fact that even though my parents were divorced, they maintained an amicable relationship and treated each other with respect. Without that, I could imagine that my stoic relationship with my family would much worse. Both remarried and I have good relationships with them as well, though my step-dad only warmed up to me more once I moved out and showed that I could support myself.... I am a father of two myself still happily married. my wife also grew up in a divorced household and we both swore to not put our children through what we experienced. Happy Fathers Day to all the deserving dads out there!
Ya, dads only being allowed to see their children 4 days a month is wrong. Its not fair, balanced, or just. What kind of relationship is that? Its evil.
I was with my mother shortly after my parents split. The courts placed us with her because of the 'mother knows best' attitude. Both sisters and I were abused in various ways. Those early years has caused me to have considerable issues even now, 20+ years later. And during this time, my Dad was paying every dollar properly, every other weekend visitations, and not one time did he negatively speak about my mother or yell at her in front of us, or within earshot. I would like to thank you both for this talk, it has given me quite a woderful peace. Both of you, keep up the good work!
This was surprising to see thedadvocate on this channel. Love both your channels and love to see based people come together and have a good & positive conversation. Great collaboration and I would love to more of these collaborations in the future.
@awsambdaman yup and then it is no surprise with how childish and immature they are, when someone disagrees with them, they just cant take it. when I feel like I have to walk around eggshells with her I am out of there. Not worth the stress, you can be as considerate and caring as one can be, but if she can still get offended over petty stuff and taking the anger from her bad past relationships to me, nothing I can do, I have boundries as well. I am done.
Just this past Sunday when we were celebrating Father’s Day I was telling my family about both of you individually and how much you do for the world. So happy you guys got together for this discussion
Nothing bothers me more, being in mom groups, than women complaining about their man to random women on the internet, assuming they have bad intent. Then, if you’re the one woman who gives real advice and criticize the woman’s behavior, you get dog piled and called all sorts of horrible names.
@@awsambdaman yes that’s why I’ve always hung out with men, but being married I feel it’s inappropriate to have male friends outside of family, so I have one female friend irl who isn’t delusional
Here is some old man wisdom. NEVER, ever, ever, ever complain about your spouse or discuss marital problems with ANYONE other than your spouse. (Brag about them to EVERYBODY) Do not tell you mom, sister, best friend, or strangers on the internet. Your marriage makes you a single unit, and you need to work out those problems together without an audience, allies, or comments from the peanut gallery. An audience discourages honesty and increases embarrassment , which makes it more difficult to work together to solve the problem . Interference by other people can only make the problem worse, whether by inserting themselves between you, giving poorly informed advise, or cheering on unproductive behavior and thinking. Most men already know this, and many women will probably not follow it, but there it is.
This exact issue is why young men are not getting married, it’s a rigged system against them. If you want to raise the marriage rates you have to make the divorce courts fair. 50% custody should be the norm and shouldn’t have to be fought for.
@Patson20 The biggest problem with proving they are unfit. The Me Too movement pushed things in a direction that incentivizes women to make up crap about their husbands in an attempt to sabotage their lives. Johnny Depp was a perfect example.
The ones in charge don't want that. They benefit from being the surrogate father after being the facilitator to encourage and incentivize one half of the contract signer to break the terms of the binding agreement. They stand to benefit from it, and the other party gets cash and consolation prizes, so is encouraged and supported by the facilitator to break the vows and break the home. This creates broken families, and broken children who end up relying on the state.
@@thegrimharvestThis is exactly why the system is set up the way it is. Strong families make state control far more difficult and strong men. Which are the standard results of strong families led by fathers. Will do things like question arbitrary authority and resist tyrannical laws....
It brings me full circle with my life experience. Raised to be a 'good man' to be told it wasn't good anymore, tried to reconcile too many extremes to realize that I needed to just ground myself in what I knew and felt was right and just, and send the rest of it to the bin. Moment I did that I started to find success because I was being myself and not what other people told me I should be. Feel like Social media glorifies and amplifies the extremes of both sides to their own ends, leaving everything in the middle forgotten.
Definitely, would love to see more healthy conversations where we can address men and women’s issues from a place of empathy and not from a place of resentment or needing to feel like a victim
@@mckennarussell4510 I do not think it is about hate. I think it is about some women who had enough because daiting men whent no where. So they are having or had bad experinces with men too. I think it is about that. To some extent.
Someone once asked the question: Women, do you spend hours wondering what's on your man's mind? Wish he would talk more? Well, he said, I'm going to reveal the truth to you now, "Most of the time, it's absolutely nothing..." Women are different than men...
My wife thinks it's strange that I can sit there and have zero thoughts. Absolutely nothing going through my mind at the moment. She, on the other hand, thinks ALL the time. We compliment one another in so many ways. Our marriage is still going strong after 17 years. We communicate, I think practically and she has come to appreciate it. I appreciate her so much and cannot think of life without her. She has helped me become the man/father I was meant to be.
@@bwompusss7397 I admit to a little bit of jealousy ya'll guys can do that. My mind goes miles a minute all day every day. I would love to sometimes just shut it off.
I never wonder what's going on in my husband's head because you're 100 percent correct. it's never anything 😂 edit: fun fact, the vast majority of people on Earth actually have no inner monologue going on which eXPLAINS SO MUCH
There was a comment around the hour mark or so about men not going into marriage, not wanting to hurt women, and women aren't going in looking to drain their pockets. The only issue I see is that while it may not be their intention, it's always an option because of marriage laws, etc. and I think we all know the phrase "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" perceived or otherwise. Great show, Nick. I really enjoyed this conversation and glad you had the Dadvocate on.
I have been doing the "sink cup" for 45 years. Along with the sink spoon (that I just used to stir the creamer into my coffee), and the sink knife, the sink spoon, the sink fork, the sink tongs, the sink mug (next to the sink cup), and much much more! I never knew "why" I did that until I heard Lauren talking about it on her channel one day. And it turns out that I do it for the same reason! It's not a thought-out or conscious thing. I just do it. Then when it's time to start a load in the dishwasher, the sink cup, mug, spoon, fork, tongs, chopsticks, all that stuff goes in the dishwasher along with all the dirty dishes.
"I am not responsible for what you meant. I'm only responsible for a reasonable interpretation of what you said." This needs to be shouted, repeatedly for the world to hear.
Decades ago - probably early 80’s - a judge made a ruling in a custody case that made sense and to this day I do not understand why this common sense ruling isn’t made more. In essence, the judge said that the divorce was no fault of the children therefore the children should not endure the hardship of two homes, etc. He ordered the children stay in the home and the parents split custody by getting separate places to live on non-custodial days. I thought it was a great idea.
After 6 years and $500k i got full custody of my kids. As a man in Manassas court. I was paying $2600 a month on child support. I was overseas when she decided to leave me so It was high
I make sure to allow men to open doors for me and double make sure I thank them. I don’t like to make them feel bad. I would never tell them “I can do it myself”. It’s a courteous act that they should not feel bad doing.
I wish more women understood this isan absolute cheat code. We like to feel useful, it's innate in us, and when yall enable that in us, even though you can do it for yourself, it makes us feel good
I don't think the "I can open the door myself" is even a thing. It's like these people who use they/them, must be the 0.0001% of the whole population, but everyone took them too seriously. I held the door open for anyone whose behind me, and ofc I will never refuse a dude opening it. It's silly. I don't even know one single woman who said that.
@@bune1035 STOP theres a viral tweet about the door opening thing right now. You can say its not alot, fine. Just stop minimizing every real world sentiment against men. STOP Edit- im not even advocating you do anything about that. I still open doors and if someone tried to make a scene, id laugh in their face. Doesnt change that shit happens and the sentiment exists.
Man that's wild. I've never had an interaction like that in my life and I wonder where these people are. I try to hold the door for anyone within 15 feet of the entrance, regardless of who they are. I know that have hands and can do it themselves, but it just feels polite to do. I also appreciate it when other people do it for me 🤷
Its nice to see two people I watch have a convo, and then to have effectively a celebration of relationship goals and unity. It always good to be reminded that the worst of it is just online and that you will most often meet the Nicks and the Laurens out in the real world.
As a guy living in a blue state, nothing you said is actually helpful to men struggling. I'm not trying to be a dick but you can't be a good man when every woman around you automatically thinks you're evil. End of story. I had a woman interested in me (old friend from high school), gassing me up and encouraging me to be the best version of myself. every single person noticed the change and asked "what happened?" I just told them "it's amazing how little it takes to bring out the best in a man. Just a little bit of encouragement goes a long way." They didn't get it. They asked "why would we encourage men? They're just out to hurt us."
I understand what you're saying. I make a point to let my man know that I appreciate all he does, great and small. If he never said, "I love you" again, I would still know because of the ways he says it in his actions. I try to encourage him and build him up. I was surprised by a card he gave me that said he's inspired by my confidence, optimism, and encouragement. It truly brought tears to my eyes. So you're correct. It can take so little to make your man's day by showing some appreciation.
@RyanClone Trama work can be a long, difficult process. I started 8 years ago after my husband passed away. I've come a long way on my work. I recently added relationship work. I knew I had issues there also. Part of that work was trying to understand the differences between men and women. It has been a huge help. I have just a few people I follow on UA-cam that make sense to me. I think more women need to look inward if they are attracting the same type of men. I found that there was a common denominator, and it was me. Best of luck as you continue your journey.
Honestly I just love that these two accounts are talking. They could talk about fishing or the weather, just as long as they are talking. Now I want to see Dadvocate talk to Roma
In 2008 I married my wife and when we started dating in 2006 I met her two kids. I was 30 at the time and my stepdaughter was 16 and my stepson was 20. I have always treated them like they’re my own kids. Their father is still very much a part of their lives. I’m just there to be who they need me to be. I love them both very much. They’re both now very productive adults. My stepdaughter is a registered nurse and my stepson is a regional manager for a major energy drink company.
@@jonnyenough1531 I disagree I’m not trying to take their dad’s place. They were both pretty much grown when I came into their lives. I love both of them as if they were mine. That’s not a bad thing
What I learned in Divorce court. If you have an affair you are a piece of shit but IF YOUR WIFE HAS AN AFFAIR, you must be a piece of shit or else she wouldn't have.
We need to drop that line of thinking immediately. Start telling your fellow men the opposite. "She's a grown woman, she made her choices knowing the consequences. Give her the consequences. "
@@crazycrazy7710 Well it's getting to be literally that. I saw a video recently of a woman pouring washer fluid into her car's oil port. A gallon of soapy water right into the crankcase. There was a time I might have said something to her if I saw this happening in person. That time has ended because of how badly I would be treated in this situation. Not my engine, not my bearings.
Thank you for reviewing these all important issues. I am a grandma- and have seen so many trends in the US. The war on traditional values has been ongoing for many years. Bringing these issues to light really helps so many hurting victims of these changing ideologies-
Woman who works as a firefighter here. 95-98% of the people I work with are men. Just gonna say, the men I work with are by and large awesome people with a vast amount of knowledge and skill. I consider myself lucky to get to learn from them on a day to day basis. My mother was the worst influence in my life, and if I had been forced to live with her alone growing up I would have run away or died. Possibly both. It got to the point where over the summers I would get sent to live with my Aunt and Grandmother out of state- and I owe the both of them the fact that I made it to adulthood at all, much less relatively sane. The primary reason my dad didn’t divorce her was because he was afraid of losing access to us kids. I remember in my teenage years begging my dad to go through with it after they had gotten into another fight. She would do stuff like cheat on my dad and in various ways emotionally (and sometimes physically) abuse my brother and I. Not gonna list details here, but it was bad enough that even our teachers noticed. She would then retreat up to her bedroom for days on end and demand we would take care of her. This culminated when I was fifteen and she tried to kill herself, and failed. I found her note while she was in the hospital. A friend of hers online noticed her messages were weird and called the police. That’s the only reason she survived. My point is I know from firsthand experience that Mom is not always the better option. Legislation needs to change to be balanced towards both genders. Society also needs to change in the same way. It also bears recognition that women can absolutely be as abusive as any man. We as a society need to learn to be balanced. Neither gender is “better” than the other- because neither would exist without the other.
Fun little fact, in several states it is legal precedent and enforced that even a male victim of a woman actually convicted of r*ping that man can and are forced to pay child support for any children born as a direct result of that assault (Hermesmann v Seyer was the first case). The argument from the court was that the well-being of the child outweighs the well-being of the victim. Okay . . . then why are they leaving the child in the hands of a convicted sex offender who clearly is failing their responsibility to financially support them? In many of these cases, the male victim was underage at the time of the r*pe, so they are doing this to people who are still children themselves.
My husband lost his kids when his wife of 14 years decided she was tired of being with him. She lied to family and friends and the courts still gave her full custody even though he never did anything wrong!! Thank you so much for addressing these issues!!!
it's honestly so confusing how they can just lie in court, and men will be charged despite there being ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE whatsoever. Is this allowed by the law? Cause i just don't get how they're getting away with it then...
Most men also dont WANT to complain about most things. Theres wild double standards that women would scream from the rooftops about that get treated like nothing because millions of men dont complain about them.
What a great start to the morning. seeing my two favourite content creators collaborate and having a strong positive conversation. Thank you to you both, and look forward to seeing a future collaborations. Awesome work :)
I've been following the Dadvocate for quite a while and now maybe I'll have to follow. Nick, too. Okay, already follow him. This was an awesome collaboration. I didn't learn anything new because I'm one of those lucky guys that have been married for 47 years to a woman who loves me and says thank you to me all day and who I thank all day too. She's my best friend and my absolute favorite sweetheart. In fact, there's no second place. And never has been.
I'm 35 and single. I started watching Better Bachelor on UA-cam about 3 years ago and I would Highly recommend his channel for any guys out there that want to hear the other side of these types of discussions.
The thing I appreciate about this content is that it holds people accountable: their actions, their behaviors, their words, they are responsible for what they say and do. Will they learn? Probably not, I don’t know. I like that there are people trying to keep things in check, though: I’m less frustrated after videos like this
Great Combo, I saw the short but not the notification for this. Big fan of thedadvocate. Plus I greatly appreciate Nick's point of view and his words and actions to do his best to stand up for moral good.
My husband is a fierce, loyal, strong, hyper intelligent, stable and responsible man. I’m grateful that I can serve and love and be loved by my husband.
VIRGINIA SCREWED ME AND TOLD ME THEY DONT DO JOINT. VOIDED MY VISITATION WHEN I WENT OVERSEAS AND THEN SHE MOVED AWAY TO ANOTHER STATE AND IM STILL PAYING CHILD SUPPORT. HAVENT SEEN MY DAUGHTER IN 12 YEARS. SPOTSY COURT WAS ALL ABOUT THE MOMS
I got divorced in Virginia and found the court friendly to me. I have joint 50/50 everything even though the ex tried to make me one of those every-other-weekend-dads. The court ruled in my favor. We always have to pay child support no matter what if we make more $ than mom whether you have custody or not. To be denied fatherly visitation in Virginia means you might have screwed something up my man, but my sincere condolences. Nobody deserves to be separated from their child.
Unfortunately I know too many men who have a similar story... From what I heard is that it's getting better but it's coming along slowly. I still have hope and love for this country I'm just exhausted of the politics and how the society is so divided, may God bless.
It's that way everywhere, brother. I've been there done that, AND they take your T-shirts. Know this, she will want to know you. I've lived it, and it was a long excruciating wait, but worth it.
Ill say warching this was bitter sweet at best. Being a young man myself it felt great to hear dadvocate acknowledge why we would be leaning against chivalry. It feels as tho im insulted on every front to be something for her but even when i was dating i rarely ever recieved something in return ither than judgement. You do everything right and everyone finds sometbing you could have done more even my own mother. He says we dont want to do it because its uncomfortable but hes wrong. It feels both pointless and draining. The idea id devote myself to women and treat them with special care soley because im supposed to is a burden. I want a woman who can be my partner im tired of living my life for others when they all would leave me the second i fail.
My daughter is now 16 and I haven't seen her face in 6 months. Her mother completely supports her in having nothing to do with me after 14 years of faithful love and support for the 20% I was granted. Her reasoning? I'm a Christian who won't go woke.
Sux dude, a great deal of the potency of a Mao style struggle session, is to weaponize relationships against the person who is going through it. The fact that you were able to pull a Picard and say "There are 4 lights" in that, is to your credit. You didn't break off a piece of your soul to make the pain stop. (search New discourses and struggle session for more on that) I hope we can beat the idea's of Hegel/Marx/Gramsci/Freire/Mao/Foucault and, especially, the queer theorists. Until then, it just hurts to hear stories like these, good luck.
I am so sorry. And a girl's future relationship with men is based on her relationship with her father. Mom has screwed up all her future relationships. She'll call you when she needs money for college or a wedding. Just remember that paying for her stuff doesn't make her love you. Mom is just going to convince her that you OWE her.
@@kathymc234 exactly, even her future dating prospects are going to be bleak !!!! I for one am not going to entertain a girl coming from a single mother family and I think most men today won’t… we’ve to become rigid for our own safety unfortunately :(
@@georgewhitworth9742it's all about power, profit, and control. Top down authoritarianism. Gotta blow up everything and get everyone on edge, angry, fearful and mistrustful of each other. To the point that it creates crises that only can be "solved" by surrendering more autonomy over to a centralized all encompassing authority. Create the problem to sell the solution. The solution is always more cowbell. It's not a bug, it's a feature.
Out of this whole video the thing that captured my attention most is the phrase 'perverse incentives.' A most excellent new term that I wish I thought of first. It's f'ing intuitive with regard to definition.
Every once in awhile, two channels that I've followed for a long time (and didn't know were even aware of each other) do a video together. This is one of those times. Maybe there is a method to my madness after all. Everyone have a blessed day & stay safe.
@@awsambdaman I'm only a 32yo Millennial, but my perception about this is that women were more respectable and worthy back in the day (at least compared to modern times). Nowadays there is no incentive for chivalry or grace, it's cold nasty and transactional. Sad stuff man.
bighomiestevethemetalhead That’s definitely true I’m just saying a lot of boomers still have the mindset of cherishing women..in a better world, that’s how we would operate. But if women want to be vindictive and vicious in the courts, there needs to be a solution to address that. Aka don’t beat men down and privilege women
My dad and mother got divorced when I was 4 but he took us every weekend... until he remarried. She hated us and thought her family was all he needed to worry about. By the time I was about 21 or so I was only seeing him maybe once a year at a family get-together. I tried to insert myself back into his life several times and failed... then he died when I was about 45 (10 years ago). I was never going to put my kids through this. I got divorced after 8 years. I filed. We did joint custody and everything was fine... until she got a boyfriend and stopped seeing the kids almost completely. She would only see the kids for a few hours maybe every month or two. I was paying child support because the kids were on Medicaid and Medicaid required a minimum child support. It was only $50. When I got laid off though I got Medicaid and put the kids on that. I notified Friend of the Court that I had full custody and the kids had Medicaid through me because I got laid off (after 15 years). They decided I was still the one to pay child support. 3 years later when it was going to be renewed I talked to a case worker to make she this was fixed and asked what I could do because she was supposed to pay 40% based on the divorce decree. Since she did not have a job and was living at her boyfriends they were not going to go after her for back debt. They decided I was going to pay the child support again... and again in 3 years after me new case worker insisted I the court could not assign it to me still. Well the kids are all in their 20s, but my ex has finished college and is a RN and makes way more than me and engaged... and she never paid a penny of the $25,000+ she owes me. I think unless a parent turns it down they should ALWAYS be eligible for joint custody and the expense split should be split by income only. If one pays for insurance that is just part of what is paid by BOTH. If not joint custody can be settled on then it would be Wednesday through half a day Saturday... and even split. And Alimony should be banned.
Beautiful conversation. Loved every second of it. Pure gold... I have to admit, i was caught in the negative male space for a while, after some really bad experiences with women. And yes, i started to blame women alot... Then i came across the two of you, independently of each other of course... And you've both helped steer me in the right direction, and i've come to find a new appriciation for women, and relationships. But i have to also confess, i now know, i'm incapable of being in a relationship for a myriad of reasons, so i opted to keep myself out of the dating pool now, and just focus on building myself up... I love perspective you both bring to us, and i love learning from both of you. Stay the course. The journey IS the destination !
40:45 biggest thing she isn't saying that makes her advice unworkable for the vast majority is that she was not sleeping around during this courtship period. Most women do. If she was her man is a simp and none of us should listen to a word she says
Plus she met her husband ten years ago when she was in her early 20s, from what it seems she didn't make a lot of reckless choices, the world and social media has changed rapidly and women's minds have been poisoned.
Fellas Do. Not. Get. Married. Don't let anyone take everything away from you like that and keep draining you with alimony and child support payments for years or decades afterwards. Respect Yourself More Than That please.
this is the collab I wished to see for a long time, have been following both of you and was bamboozled in the most positive way when I saw both faces in the same thumbnail
Only a few minutes in and excited to hear this discussion. My niece has a terrible and abusive mother. This is what caused the original break up of the family. Of course, she got full custody despite this. It took an ATTEMPTED MURDER of the child for her to lose 50/50 rights. Fast forward 4 years, she is fighting to get custody back is actually making some progress. It is horrifying.
I'm a little worried for the dadvocates reputation after this, not because I dislike her or Nick or anything, but because I know people will use her appearance on his show to shoehorn her as some kind of strawman republican stereotype just to discredit what she has to say in the future.
At the risk of sarcasm not working well in text…. Oh no! They might think she cares for family structure, and good morals, and treating your neighbors with love and kindness! What a terrible thing to be considered as!
@@Dominicus13indeed! She might be a strong stable individual capable of thinking for herself and not just chugging down whatever is fed to her by the acolytes of the Cathedral (government, media, academia, corporations). She might not just consume product and get excited for next product. Oh bother...oh bother...
She's been dealing with those accusations for years already. The worst this will do is renew it for a little bit, before they realize she's not kidding when she says she just doesn't care what people call her. In the last year alone, she's seen a massive increase in people calling her a Pick Me, homophobic, racist, a slave to her husband, all sorts of stuff. Aside from laughing at the accusations (and occasionally banning a few of the worst), she hasn't even commented on them. This is more likely to grow her audience, rather than crush her.
A few woman I have worked with over the years when they mention finding a man they have this list of how they want to be treated yet they don’t seem to consider how they will treat this so called future man.
In 2000 I booted my wife for being unfaithful. I spent a lot of $$ to get majority custody of our daughter. Court ordered her to pay me child support. after the 3rd payment she stopped paying.
Every 8 months for *11 years* I received a letter from the idaho dhw telling me I was delinquent on my child support payments and risked losing my work licenses if I didn't pay.
And every time I had to go downtown to explain that I was the recipient. Seems they just saw "delinquent" and assumed "deadbeat dad" w/o engaging a brain cell.
yet there are still people out there that crave government control over all our lives. 🙄
That is when you go in front of a judge and have them order DHW to get their shit together or risk being held in contempt. I have seen lawyers shit themselves when they are on the verge of being held in contempt.
@@harrydbrownjr3021 - I had already spent $10K in atty/court fees getting divorced and custody, plus pay 1/2 the equity in my house to the ex. Though it was a minor pain in butt to go deal with the angry womyn in dhw every few months, I thought it would be worse to keep throwing money at lawyers and judges, too.
My nephew had to do this with his ex... Also proved in court that was claiming their daughter to get food stamps & section 8 housing. Also ALL the abortions she'd had because of her "sleeping" around.
My great-niece would go over every other week-end, not for mom contact, but to keep an eye on her 1/2 sister who is 6 yrs younger than her.
My great-niece has graduated from high school, has a job & now has committed to her girlfriend of 3 yrs & my nephew is now helping raise his multi-challenged step-daughter & battling his stage 3/4 cancer... Living life as best he can with what he can still do.
Same as my brother who is still held liable even though he is disabled at 60, my parents are paying it to keep him out of jail... Just another prime example of incompetence.
That's Idaho for you. Great legislative branch (they have good laws). Extremely corrupt judicial and executive branches. Very corrupt police and courts there especially in regards to children and custody.
I’m so glad you’re addressing this! I’m 63 yrs old. When I was 12 yrs old, my divorced mom moved me and my brother and sister 400 miles and 2 states away from our home town without my dad’s knowledge. There was no internet back then, dads didn’t have the rights women did, many states did not cooperate with a dad trying to find his kids, and hiring a detective was beyond his income bracket. Eleven or 12 years later, shortly after getting back in touch by mail, my dad, who was a fantastic man who loved his children and was heartbroken for years not knowing where we were, died suddenly before we could visit in person. My mother stole the best part of our lives from us because she was angry that he and his new wife gave birth to my half sister. Men and children should never have to go through this.
That is so sad. I agree that the courts need to fix this madness.
I am so sorry to hear this. 💔 😢
So sad but everything you said is not true. But glad you found him. He just moved on with his life .
Nor should mothers!
Although not entirely, but I have found that women are far more willing to use their children as weapons against not just the children’s father but anyone else they have any kind of falling out with. Snakes with tits!!!
I had a son in 1982 and was divorced the same year. The judge in Butler County Pa. Flat out said that “the child belongs with the mother and a father will never win a custody battle in my court”
I spent nine years and $50000 in 80’s money and finally won custody from a woman that wanted to abort the pregnancy, was committed to the psychiatric ward, would show up for my “every other weekend “ visitation only to find out she had moved and would take months for the court to enforce my visitation.
I jumped through every hoop and she did everything she could to sabotage me all because she found eighteen years of child support.
Even to the point of claiming that I was “a poor male roll model “ because I worked construction and didn’t wear a suit and tie!
I was born and raised in Butler County Pa. My brothers ex wife moved out of state in around 2008ish with his girls. He hasn't seen them since. She's also told lies.
Praying the girls will find him once they're old enough and find the truth for themselves.
I’m happy you finally won custody!
I wore a suit and tie I was an engineer. I'm retired now but if I would have do this over again I would have become either an electrician or a welder. Any day of the week. God bless you man. It's messed up in judges like that need to be defrocked
@@amosacres5249 No chance. Their mother will absolutely poison them to think he's the devil and likely turn them into raging feminists who hate men in general.
I've seen it so often it's practically become normal, and that scares me.
What's crazy, as you have shown, is that it's been that bad for half a century. Only as feminism and an incredibly biased family court system started dry-f*cking a significant percentage of the male population, has it come to light. Men are waking up in droves, and we're not participating anymore.
I had a "friend" who straight up told me that she loved seeing my husband play with the kids and help around the house because hers never did either of those, so it was refreshing to know there were still men out there who could step up and do that. And then in passing, she said, "That's the most attractive thing a man can do."
Cut to a few months later, I found out she'd been trying to flirt with him and get him alone and crap like that. Needless to say, we're not friends anymore. But now I have a term for what she was doing--mate poaching! Smh disgusting
I had a 'friend' like that. Would never even look at the geeky guys (like my husband). Then, she's left by her sporty guy while pregnant.
After the baby was born, all of a sudden, she's at my house all the time. Pressing my husband to hold her baby bc her baby 'needed a male figure in her life'. Yeah, I agree, but not the man I'm married to and have my own child with!
My husband was under-impressed. He would never consider cheating, never mind with a stick-figure red-head (I'm hispanic and round - much more his type) who would have ignored him bf he became a Dad and husband. I still booted her out of my life though... Who needs that?!?!
@@sandyvanburen so glad yall chose each other over that "friend." I hope you and your family have continued happiness ❤️🔥
It's one of the few dating strategies humans have, they see something someone else has and want it. Irony is if they get it they feel less interested after obtaining said desire.
It's a fine strategy for keeping our species alive, more diverse gene pool etc it has its draw backs.
"Pre-selection" at it's finest! I got way more attention from single women when I was married than I have since the divorce. It's insane.
That IS disgusting! Almost as disgusting as her own husband having nothing to do with his children..... That he lives with.
When she talked about "mate poaching" about the halfway mark...reminded me of that Chris Rock joke where guys, when they see their bro's girl they go "I need a woman like her!" Women, on the otherhand, will look at a woman's man and think "I need to get HIM."
You nailed it.
I'm just an average looking guy but I had a beautiful now ex-wife and a really hot, young girlfriend after her when I was young. My women acquaintances treated me much differently after they'd meet either my ex-wife or the hot, young girlfriend. I never had women flirt with me as hard as when they knew I was with a beautiful women, and it was obvious as a light switch being turned on after seeing who I was with, from casual friendship and small talk to full on interest in me and flirting.
😢😮9uyy hi y😮yy TY TY😮😮uoÿu😅 50:53 😅y6ytyy😮899⁹⁹9uyy it ukuy it yyy it u it it
44:54
The whole thing they were talking about with mate poaching and what Lauren was saying about how women she a man different once "vetted" by a woman?
I found it a little odd she was explaining that since it was literally what the entire plot of what that movie Easy A with Emma Stone was about. She was pretending to get with nerdy guys to give them the "cred" for other girls to see then as having potential to date. I didn't realize this idea was so foreign. Hmmmm ....
@@Thagrynor Its not as much about it being completely foreign, I think, as it is about calling attention to the dynamic both for the sake of "hey this helps" as well as "pay attention to your bullshit."
A pregnant woman is hit by a car....
She is sent into a coma for 1 year. She wakes up, no longer pregnant, screaming," Doctor! Doctor! Where is my baby?"
The doctor replies, "Calm down, your babies are fine. You had twins! a girl and a boy. We gave them to your brother to watch while you were in the hospital."
She says,"My brother? That guy is a moron! Why would you do that?"
"I am sorry ma'am, we had no choice. There was nobody else. He even took the liberty of naming them."
"What?"she says. "What did he name my daughter?"
"He named her 'Denise,' " says the doctor.
"Oh, well, that's not so bad. What did he name my son?"
To which the doctor replies, "He named him 'Denephew' "
Nice comment.
Perfect joke.
Hahaha
They had us in the first half
I have never heard this joke but I love it 😂 thank you for sharing
If a man displays masculine traits, it’s labeled as toxic and hostile towards women. If a woman displays those exact same traits, it’s considered empowering and strong. I guess this is the “equality” I keep hearing about from women.
Feminism is the Curse of Eve on steroids.
Yeahp. There’s nothing feminine in feminism, except the name.
That's the double standard
Feminists want a beta male in the relationship, an alpha male in bed, and a sigma male at all other times.
@@StefenVincent there are alot of those in feminism; everything about feminism has always been lies.
Even the right to vote was not supported by most women.
Those women assumed the right to vote would come with the duties expected of a voting citizen... Chiefly military conscription via the draft.
Virginia State dad here..... The "every other weekend because mom's get the child by default", is STILL very much practiced in my area. The judge (a modern feminist) didn't listen to anything me or my attorney had to say from the start. She took the lies from my cheating ex, put me -$4,500 in child support instantly, and I got every other weekend and split holidays with my son. It took me 2 different attorneys and 5 years of fighting in court to get my son any extra time (a whole 1-1/2 extra days a week) and reduced the child support (down from $500 a week, based from my lying ex but that's a story in itself). I watched this judge go from barely acknowledging my 1st attorney and myself (1st attorney was male and she apparently hated him) but changed completely when I hired a female attorney. The judge's interactions with my female attorney in the court room , made it all sink in like a ton of bricks. My son is 16 now and 80% of his life (I've never lived more than 30 minutes away from him) I've not been there because of this jackass judge's first ruling.... These judges in my area, look at the fathers like they are paychecks to the state: change my mind.
Not shocked, Nick is woefully naive about reality for men and young people out there. I went $15K in debt fighting to free my kids from my physically abusive ex wife.
This is very sad, I am sorry my dudes.
My ex would just find me parked at her house daily whenever I pleased.
Worse that judge never considered you a good man, they thought you were wrong from the start because your a man and the word of law means shit to her. You should do everything in your power to get her fired along with exposing judges like her, in fact tell me about her and I’ll help spread support about her.
@@vedinthorn
Okay, and then you get slapped with a protective order and locked up when she lies about you violating it. How exactly does that help you?
Ive noticed this weird trend where women who hate men never seem to hate automobiles, airplanes, electricity, air conditioning, paved roads, computers, telephones, the internet etc etc etc
They are best left to the bears 🐻
Right like it’s always crapping on men for starting wars. Never appreciation for all the things men built and did. Constant sacrifice of life, sweat, and blood to make the world a better place. Most men are good but unfortunately we get lumped in with the bad ones
@@NerdlySquared Grizzle Grizzle
And, even weirder; almost none of them want to fix these things that they love themselves, want men to fix them for them, but also want to say that they don't need men in any way whatsoever.
they have zero idea how abnormal those things are in human history, and how difficult it is to maintain them.
I'm hyped for this episode as a fan of both Nick and Dadvocate.
Years ago I heard about a judge who ordered that the kids lived in one house and the parents shared custody each staying in that house every other week. It gave the kids better stability.
Still sounds confusing for the kids but not the worst situation
Had a family therapist suggest that once.
@@cool-guycharlie6380 sounds less confusing actually, the kids get to stay in one place.
Sounds expensive, who pays for the 3rd house?
most likely before all judges became SJW activists.
One small point, this lady is not your average street level woman - she is far more considerate and thoughtful than the vast majority.
And that is also true of the distasteful women you see all across social media. Most metrica show 80+% of the population has remained unchanged in the last 20 years. Only the extremes at the ends have changed. Its still the status quo to have 4 relationships prior to finding a long term one. Its been that for over 20 years.
Most of the younger guys looking for women are looking on the internet or in a bar or some other similar institution. I went through probably 4 or 5 relationships before my current 5 year relationship. Most of those girls I broke up with or moved on from weren't terrible people, we just didn't click. Like I haven't seen this abundance of horrible women all these whiney dudes online are talking about. I met girls through friends or value oriented institutions, like charities, volunteer work, churches, etc..
You are unlikely to shift through a trash pile and find a diamond lol. I'd you all you are finding is trash, you are in a trash pile.
My girlfriend, who works at my company, gets of work and makes me dinner 3-4 times a week because she wants to. She wants to because I set VERY high expectations for myself and live up to them. I don't drink. I don't smoke. Im not addicted to porn. I'm family oriented. Alot of dudes think just existing and having a job is satisfactory. They have mediocre expectations for themselves.
I'm a 5 aesthetically. Maybe a 6 if I'm in shape. My girlfriend is an easy 7-8. I turned down other attractive girls for this current relationship. It was all due to the high expectations I have for myself, and how that has developed my personality over time. I didnt have a lot of money at the time either.
or…this broad is a chameleon grifter tapping into male idiocy. ? Occams razor suggests chameleons.
Change the law before I put ANY consideration griftererwise into the possibility.
I think you’d find that actually, your average woman is like her, but the internet shows all the bad ones.
lauren is a freakin unicorn
@@actmrhata5079I don't know man, ten years ago social media wasn't as vast and evolved as it is now, a lot of these women are trippin.
I am a son who only got to see my dad every other weekend since 2. I do not have a strong relationship with any of my family, but am at least on good terms with most. As I got a little older I was allowed to stay with my dad over the summers and for quite a few holidays.
I consider myself lucky in the fact that even though my parents were divorced, they maintained an amicable relationship and treated each other with respect. Without that, I could imagine that my stoic relationship with my family would much worse.
Both remarried and I have good relationships with them as well, though my step-dad only warmed up to me more once I moved out and showed that I could support myself....
I am a father of two myself still happily married. my wife also grew up in a divorced household and we both swore to not put our children through what we experienced. Happy Fathers Day to all the deserving dads out there!
Ya, dads only being allowed to see their children 4 days a month is wrong. Its not fair, balanced, or just. What kind of relationship is that? Its evil.
@@blueduck9409 It is what happens when people, particularly courts, treat children like property.
I was with my mother shortly after my parents split. The courts placed us with her because of the 'mother knows best' attitude. Both sisters and I were abused in various ways. Those early years has caused me to have considerable issues even now, 20+ years later. And during this time, my Dad was paying every dollar properly, every other weekend visitations, and not one time did he negatively speak about my mother or yell at her in front of us, or within earshot. I would like to thank you both for this talk, it has given me quite a woderful peace. Both of you, keep up the good work!
This was surprising to see thedadvocate on this channel. Love both your channels and love to see based people come together and have a good & positive conversation.
Great collaboration and I would love to more of these collaborations in the future.
if masculinity is toxic, then feminist are toxic as well. it goes both ways, not one sided like they think.
It's universal
Bring back shame and morals and hold them accountable to the same standards as men !!!!
People would consider that abuse lol
@@awsambdaman I would call it Equality sence it's what they asked for.
@@awsambdaman I'm a woman and if I smack a man I'm FULLY expecting hands to be thrown back at me.
Hold us accountable, k thanks
TheKorath1 I agree I’m just saying everyone goes easier on women
@awsambdaman yup and then it is no surprise with how childish and immature they are, when someone disagrees with them, they just cant take it. when I feel like I have to walk around eggshells with her I am out of there. Not worth the stress, you can be as considerate and caring as one can be, but if she can still get offended over petty stuff and taking the anger from her bad past relationships to me, nothing I can do, I have boundries as well. I am done.
Just this past Sunday when we were celebrating Father’s Day I was telling my family about both of you individually and how much you do for the world. So happy you guys got together for this discussion
Nothing bothers me more, being in mom groups, than women complaining about their man to random women on the internet, assuming they have bad intent. Then, if you’re the one woman who gives real advice and criticize the woman’s behavior, you get dog piled and called all sorts of horrible names.
Sounds toxic. My favorite thing about male friendships is that they don’t BS each other
@@awsambdaman yes that’s why I’ve always hung out with men, but being married I feel it’s inappropriate to have male friends outside of family, so I have one female friend irl who isn’t delusional
Not_a_witch I agree. My wife and I don’t have opposite gender friendships either
Toxicity is universal
Here is some old man wisdom.
NEVER, ever, ever, ever complain about your spouse or discuss marital problems with ANYONE other than your spouse. (Brag about them to EVERYBODY)
Do not tell you mom, sister, best friend, or strangers on the internet.
Your marriage makes you a single unit, and you need to work out those problems together without an audience, allies, or comments from the peanut gallery. An audience discourages honesty and increases embarrassment , which makes it more difficult to work together to solve the problem .
Interference by other people can only make the problem worse, whether by inserting themselves between you, giving poorly informed advise, or cheering on unproductive behavior and thinking.
Most men already know this, and many women will probably not follow it, but there it is.
Awesome episode!! So glad you all collaborated!!
This exact issue is why young men are not getting married, it’s a rigged system against them. If you want to raise the marriage rates you have to make the divorce courts fair. 50% custody should be the norm and shouldn’t have to be fought for.
50/50 and you only leave with what you came in with and you split the rest. Unless you can prove a reason why they are unfit
@Patson20 The biggest problem with proving they are unfit. The Me Too movement pushed things in a direction that incentivizes women to make up crap about their husbands in an attempt to sabotage their lives. Johnny Depp was a perfect example.
The ones in charge don't want that.
They benefit from being the surrogate father after being the facilitator to encourage and incentivize one half of the contract signer to break the terms of the binding agreement.
They stand to benefit from it, and the other party gets cash and consolation prizes, so is encouraged and supported by the facilitator to break the vows and break the home.
This creates broken families, and broken children who end up relying on the state.
@@thegrimharvestThis is exactly why the system is set up the way it is. Strong families make state control far more difficult and strong men. Which are the standard results of strong families led by fathers. Will do things like question arbitrary authority and resist tyrannical laws....
Wouldn't the better option be to avoid divorce at all costs? I don't see how easier divorce laws make your marriage better
I am married to a strong, kind, God-fearing man whom I respect, love and honor. Just bragging.
I’m so happy for you! 😁
I'm jealous.
I miss my good man. He passed away. So be grateful and brag like crazy. 😂❤
Hope it lasts forever, and always stays respectful and loving.
@@MichaelCoffman-w6o Almost 40 years so far.
I'm marrying one of those in a few months -- 🎉
It brings me full circle with my life experience. Raised to be a 'good man' to be told it wasn't good anymore, tried to reconcile too many extremes to realize that I needed to just ground myself in what I knew and felt was right and just, and send the rest of it to the bin. Moment I did that I started to find success because I was being myself and not what other people told me I should be.
Feel like Social media glorifies and amplifies the extremes of both sides to their own ends, leaving everything in the middle forgotten.
Definitely, would love to see more healthy conversations where we can address men and women’s issues from a place of empathy and not from a place of resentment or needing to feel like a victim
I love men, but my husband in particular. He’s loyal, generous and kind. We are here to serve each other. That is love.
I feel the same way.
@@janfelshaw8217 - y'all gotta start telling other women that not all men are terrible people
@@chrismoore9997most women don’t hate men, just the extreme ones. I don’t know a single woman that dislikes men as a whole.
@@mckennarussell4510 I do not think it is about hate. I think it is about some women who had enough because daiting men whent no where.
So they are having or had bad experinces with men too. I think it is about that. To some extent.
Im happy to hear this. God bless you.
Someone once asked the question: Women, do you spend hours wondering what's on your man's mind? Wish he would talk more? Well, he said, I'm going to reveal the truth to you now, "Most of the time, it's absolutely nothing..." Women are different than men...
My wife thinks it's strange that I can sit there and have zero thoughts. Absolutely nothing going through my mind at the moment. She, on the other hand, thinks ALL the time. We compliment one another in so many ways. Our marriage is still going strong after 17 years. We communicate, I think practically and she has come to appreciate it. I appreciate her so much and cannot think of life without her. She has helped me become the man/father I was meant to be.
@@bwompusss7397 As God intended!
@@bwompusss7397 I admit to a little bit of jealousy ya'll guys can do that. My mind goes miles a minute all day every day. I would love to sometimes just shut it off.
I never wonder what's going on in my husband's head because you're 100 percent correct. it's never anything 😂
edit: fun fact, the vast majority of people on Earth actually have no inner monologue going on which eXPLAINS SO MUCH
@@supergeeky7529 Now when it is going, it's going warp speed. But I can't explain it...I can just shut it down.
The crossover I never knew I always needed.
Same
Nick speaking to what the people want. Dadvocate and whatifalthist
There was a comment around the hour mark or so about men not going into marriage, not wanting to hurt women, and women aren't going in looking to drain their pockets. The only issue I see is that while it may not be their intention, it's always an option because of marriage laws, etc. and I think we all know the phrase "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" perceived or otherwise.
Great show, Nick. I really enjoyed this conversation and glad you had the Dadvocate on.
Been following Davocate for a while, great inspiration and insight! Thanks Nick for highlighting her work. SemperFi!
She hit it on the head: why should I be exceptional to women who are, essentially, honor-less men
I have been doing the "sink cup" for 45 years. Along with the sink spoon (that I just used to stir the creamer into my coffee), and the sink knife, the sink spoon, the sink fork, the sink tongs, the sink mug (next to the sink cup), and much much more! I never knew "why" I did that until I heard Lauren talking about it on her channel one day. And it turns out that I do it for the same reason! It's not a thought-out or conscious thing. I just do it. Then when it's time to start a load in the dishwasher, the sink cup, mug, spoon, fork, tongs, chopsticks, all that stuff goes in the dishwasher along with all the dirty dishes.
My sink ware has a 24 hour rule. If it doesn't get used in 24 hrs, than it gets hand washed and set right next the sink again.
"I am not responsible for what you meant. I'm only responsible for a reasonable interpretation of what you said."
This needs to be shouted, repeatedly for the world to hear.
Decades ago - probably early 80’s - a judge made a ruling in a custody case that made sense and to this day I do not understand why this common sense ruling isn’t made more.
In essence, the judge said that the divorce was no fault of the children therefore the children should not endure the hardship of two homes, etc.
He ordered the children stay in the home and the parents split custody by getting separate places to live on non-custodial days.
I thought it was a great idea.
Sounds expensive.
@@nerychristian not really any more expensive for each parent who would have a separate residence and child support payments anyway
Children should never be put in the middle.
After 6 years and $500k i got full custody of my kids. As a man in Manassas court. I was paying $2600 a month on child support. I was overseas when she decided to leave me so It was high
Well she did a lot of negative things and lied to the judge and her employer.
Always 3 sides to a story. His, hers, and the truth... hmmmm
@@sandrarodriguez8724 believe all men!
@Kwildcat13yea that's right! Women are perfect angels who never do wrong and anyone who thinks differently is obviously evil 😂
I make sure to allow men to open doors for me and double make sure I thank them. I don’t like to make them feel bad. I would never tell them “I can do it myself”. It’s a courteous act that they should not feel bad doing.
That’s because you’re sane. Holding the door open is not saying “I don’t think you can open a door” it’s saying “let me show you I care about you”
I wish more women understood this isan absolute cheat code. We like to feel useful, it's innate in us, and when yall enable that in us, even though you can do it for yourself, it makes us feel good
I don't think the "I can open the door myself" is even a thing.
It's like these people who use they/them, must be the 0.0001% of the whole population, but everyone took them too seriously.
I held the door open for anyone whose behind me, and ofc I will never refuse a dude opening it. It's silly.
I don't even know one single woman who said that.
@@bune1035 STOP theres a viral tweet about the door opening thing right now.
You can say its not alot, fine. Just stop minimizing every real world sentiment against men. STOP
Edit- im not even advocating you do anything about that. I still open doors and if someone tried to make a scene, id laugh in their face. Doesnt change that shit happens and the sentiment exists.
Man that's wild.
I've never had an interaction like that in my life and I wonder where these people are.
I try to hold the door for anyone within 15 feet of the entrance, regardless of who they are.
I know that have hands and can do it themselves, but it just feels polite to do.
I also appreciate it when other people do it for me 🤷
Its nice to see two people I watch have a convo, and then to have effectively a celebration of relationship goals and unity. It always good to be reminded that the worst of it is just online and that you will most often meet the Nicks and the Laurens out in the real world.
As a guy living in a blue state, nothing you said is actually helpful to men struggling. I'm not trying to be a dick but you can't be a good man when every woman around you automatically thinks you're evil. End of story. I had a woman interested in me (old friend from high school), gassing me up and encouraging me to be the best version of myself. every single person noticed the change and asked "what happened?" I just told them "it's amazing how little it takes to bring out the best in a man. Just a little bit of encouragement goes a long way." They didn't get it. They asked "why would we encourage men? They're just out to hurt us."
I agree with the commenter above. Offer them grace, sounds like they’re stuck in a certain cult ideology
I understand what you're saying. I make a point to let my man know that I appreciate all he does, great and small. If he never said, "I love you" again, I would still know because of the ways he says it in his actions. I try to encourage him and build him up. I was surprised by a card he gave me that said he's inspired by my confidence, optimism, and encouragement. It truly brought tears to my eyes. So you're correct. It can take so little to make your man's day by showing some appreciation.
@RyanClone Trama work can be a long, difficult process. I started 8 years ago after my husband passed away. I've come a long way on my work. I recently added relationship work. I knew I had issues there also. Part of that work was trying to understand the differences between men and women. It has been a huge help. I have just a few people I follow on UA-cam that make sense to me. I think more women need to look inward if they are attracting the same type of men. I found that there was a common denominator, and it was me. Best of luck as you continue your journey.
Honestly I just love that these two accounts are talking. They could talk about fishing or the weather, just as long as they are talking.
Now I want to see Dadvocate talk to Roma
She has! I don't have the link to the discussion off the top of my head, but they've definitely been in interviews and such together.
In 2008 I married my wife and when we started dating in 2006 I met her two kids. I was 30 at the time and my stepdaughter was 16 and my stepson was 20. I have always treated them like they’re my own kids. Their father is still very much a part of their lives. I’m just there to be who they need me to be. I love them both very much. They’re both now very productive adults. My stepdaughter is a registered nurse and my stepson is a regional manager for a major energy drink company.
Bruh.
Bro...how old is your wife? She had to be pushing 50 when you married her.
@@oldscratch3535 she was 40 I was 31
Treating another man's kids like your own is not good
@@jonnyenough1531 I disagree I’m not trying to take their dad’s place. They were both pretty much grown when I came into their lives. I love both of them as if they were mine. That’s not a bad thing
What I learned in Divorce court.
If you have an affair you are a piece of shit but IF YOUR WIFE HAS AN AFFAIR, you must be a piece of shit or else she wouldn't have.
We need to drop that line of thinking immediately. Start telling your fellow men the opposite.
"She's a grown woman, she made her choices knowing the consequences. Give her the consequences. "
Men shouldn't mistreat women. But Men no longer have any obligations to women.
I am getting "I won't hurt you but I won't save you either" vibe
@@crazycrazy7710 Well it's getting to be literally that. I saw a video recently of a woman pouring washer fluid into her car's oil port. A gallon of soapy water right into the crankcase. There was a time I might have said something to her if I saw this happening in person. That time has ended because of how badly I would be treated in this situation. Not my engine, not my bearings.
@@crazycrazy7710kinda, yah.
Thank you for reviewing these all important issues. I am a grandma- and have seen so many trends in the US. The war on traditional values has been ongoing for many years. Bringing these issues to light really helps so many hurting victims of these changing ideologies-
Grabbed my sink bowl to microwave some rice while listening to this
When you are raising children you are raising the next generation so do it good!! The next generation is who will keep and build our country. 🇺🇸
Woman who works as a firefighter here. 95-98% of the people I work with are men. Just gonna say, the men I work with are by and large awesome people with a vast amount of knowledge and skill. I consider myself lucky to get to learn from them on a day to day basis.
My mother was the worst influence in my life, and if I had been forced to live with her alone growing up I would have run away or died. Possibly both. It got to the point where over the summers I would get sent to live with my Aunt and Grandmother out of state- and I owe the both of them the fact that I made it to adulthood at all, much less relatively sane.
The primary reason my dad didn’t divorce her was because he was afraid of losing access to us kids. I remember in my teenage years begging my dad to go through with it after they had gotten into another fight. She would do stuff like cheat on my dad and in various ways emotionally (and sometimes physically) abuse my brother and I. Not gonna list details here, but it was bad enough that even our teachers noticed. She would then retreat up to her bedroom for days on end and demand we would take care of her.
This culminated when I was fifteen and she tried to kill herself, and failed. I found her note while she was in the hospital. A friend of hers online noticed her messages were weird and called the police. That’s the only reason she survived.
My point is I know from firsthand experience that Mom is not always the better option.
Legislation needs to change to be balanced towards both genders. Society also needs to change in the same way.
It also bears recognition that women can absolutely be as abusive as any man.
We as a society need to learn to be balanced. Neither gender is “better” than the other- because neither would exist without the other.
Fun little fact, in several states it is legal precedent and enforced that even a male victim of a woman actually convicted of r*ping that man can and are forced to pay child support for any children born as a direct result of that assault (Hermesmann v Seyer was the first case). The argument from the court was that the well-being of the child outweighs the well-being of the victim. Okay . . . then why are they leaving the child in the hands of a convicted sex offender who clearly is failing their responsibility to financially support them? In many of these cases, the male victim was underage at the time of the r*pe, so they are doing this to people who are still children themselves.
I was SO excited to see this collab!!!!
I have to say, Thank You. Both of you have had a part in making me a more attentive husband and father.
I would like to second this
My husband lost his kids when his wife of 14 years decided she was tired of being with him. She lied to family and friends and the courts still gave her full custody even though he never did anything wrong!! Thank you so much for addressing these issues!!!
Everything by Court judge I've never seen was a man.
Go figure
it's honestly so confusing how they can just lie in court, and men will be charged despite there being ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE whatsoever. Is this allowed by the law? Cause i just don't get how they're getting away with it then...
Two of my favorite people, discussing some of my favorite topics, in a manner that has become one of my favorite styles.
Thank you both!
Most men also dont WANT to complain about most things. Theres wild double standards that women would scream from the rooftops about that get treated like nothing because millions of men dont complain about them.
I love and watch both of your channels! This was a really great interview!
What a great start to the morning. seeing my two favourite content creators collaborate and having a strong positive conversation. Thank you to you both, and look forward to seeing a future collaborations. Awesome work :)
I've been following the Dadvocate for quite a while and now maybe I'll have to follow. Nick, too. Okay, already follow him.
This was an awesome collaboration. I didn't learn anything new because I'm one of those lucky guys that have been married for 47 years to a woman who loves me and says thank you to me all day and who I thank all day too. She's my best friend and my absolute favorite sweetheart. In fact, there's no second place. And never has been.
I'm 35 and single. I started watching Better Bachelor on UA-cam about 3 years ago and I would Highly recommend his channel for any guys out there that want to hear the other side of these types of discussions.
YES! I absolutely love TheDadvocate. Great and fun interview all around.
The thing I appreciate about this content is that it holds people accountable: their actions, their behaviors, their words, they are responsible for what they say and do. Will they learn? Probably not, I don’t know. I like that there are people trying to keep things in check, though: I’m less frustrated after videos like this
Two of my favorite people to watch, very glad for the colab!
It’s so simple. Men just want to feel appreciated
Great Combo, I saw the short but not the notification for this. Big fan of thedadvocate. Plus I greatly appreciate Nick's point of view and his words and actions to do his best to stand up for moral good.
My husband is a fierce, loyal, strong, hyper intelligent, stable and responsible man. I’m grateful that I can serve and love and be loved by my husband.
Was so happy to find this. Two of the most common sense people on UA-cam having a great discussion. I watch you both regularly.
VIRGINIA SCREWED ME AND TOLD ME THEY DONT DO JOINT. VOIDED MY VISITATION WHEN I WENT OVERSEAS AND THEN SHE MOVED AWAY TO ANOTHER STATE AND IM STILL PAYING CHILD SUPPORT. HAVENT SEEN MY DAUGHTER IN 12 YEARS. SPOTSY COURT WAS ALL ABOUT THE MOMS
I got divorced in Virginia and found the court friendly to me. I have joint 50/50 everything even though the ex tried to make me one of those every-other-weekend-dads. The court ruled in my favor. We always have to pay child support no matter what if we make more $ than mom whether you have custody or not. To be denied fatherly visitation in Virginia means you might have screwed something up my man, but my sincere condolences. Nobody deserves to be separated from their child.
Did you know you had caps lock on?
Unfortunately I know too many men who have a similar story... From what I heard is that it's getting better but it's coming along slowly.
I still have hope and love for this country I'm just exhausted of the politics and how the society is so divided, may God bless.
Women own our courts. If you don’t think so you’re not paying attention
It's that way everywhere, brother. I've been there done that, AND they take your T-shirts. Know this, she will want to know you. I've lived it, and it was a long excruciating wait, but worth it.
Ill say warching this was bitter sweet at best. Being a young man myself it felt great to hear dadvocate acknowledge why we would be leaning against chivalry. It feels as tho im insulted on every front to be something for her but even when i was dating i rarely ever recieved something in return ither than judgement. You do everything right and everyone finds sometbing you could have done more even my own mother. He says we dont want to do it because its uncomfortable but hes wrong. It feels both pointless and draining. The idea id devote myself to women and treat them with special care soley because im supposed to is a burden. I want a woman who can be my partner im tired of living my life for others when they all would leave me the second i fail.
My daughter is now 16 and I haven't seen her face in 6 months. Her mother completely supports her in having nothing to do with me after 14 years of faithful love and support for the 20% I was granted. Her reasoning? I'm a Christian who won't go woke.
Sux dude, a great deal of the potency of a Mao style struggle session, is to weaponize relationships against the person who is going through it. The fact that you were able to pull a Picard and say "There are 4 lights" in that, is to your credit. You didn't break off a piece of your soul to make the pain stop. (search New discourses and struggle session for more on that)
I hope we can beat the idea's of Hegel/Marx/Gramsci/Freire/Mao/Foucault and, especially, the queer theorists. Until then, it just hurts to hear stories like these, good luck.
I am so sorry. And a girl's future relationship with men is based on her relationship with her father. Mom has screwed up all her future relationships. She'll call you when she needs money for college or a wedding. Just remember that paying for her stuff doesn't make her love you. Mom is just going to convince her that you OWE her.
@@kathymc234 exactly, even her future dating prospects are going to be bleak !!!! I for one am not going to entertain a girl coming from a single mother family and I think most men today won’t… we’ve to become rigid for our own safety unfortunately :(
I’m so excited you guys got Lauren on!!!! I’ve been following her channel for a while and she’s amazing!
ME ✋🏻 right here. I LOVE men. I love and appreciate men for the qualities they possess that I do not.
How GREAT to see two of my favorite YT personalities together discussing important issues in a pleasant, humorous way! Thanks!
The cup is at the sink because he's not sure he's done "dirtying it up" yet!
I love the advocate! Thankyou for doing this interview!
And few people are more arrogant, and yet resentful, than women who are awarded that custody arrangement.
Love this podcast Mr. Freitas. Thank you for good influences coming from a 28 year old unmarried man.
Two of my favorites
This was a wonderful show. My husband and I are constantly amazed that the fact that we respect and appreciate each other shocks others.
Im just tired of hate people have for each other
Tell me about it...I just want to experience what it's like to get along with my countrymen. But I wonder if I ever will.
@@georgewhitworth9742it's all about power, profit, and control. Top down authoritarianism. Gotta blow up everything and get everyone on edge, angry, fearful and mistrustful of each other. To the point that it creates crises that only can be "solved" by surrendering more autonomy over to a centralized all encompassing authority. Create the problem to sell the solution. The solution is always more cowbell. It's not a bug, it's a feature.
@@georgewhitworth9742
You need a country in common to have that. We don't have that here anymore.
I enjoyed this interview. Thanks for doing it.
Out of this whole video the thing that captured my attention most is the phrase 'perverse incentives.' A most excellent new term that I wish I thought of first. It's f'ing intuitive with regard to definition.
Every once in awhile, two channels that I've followed for a long time (and didn't know were even aware of each other) do a video together.
This is one of those times.
Maybe there is a method to my madness after all.
Everyone have a blessed day & stay safe.
A lawyer once told me that the judge will use a point system and he will automatically give the woman 3 points because she is the child's mother.
Honestly Lauren thank you. I can breathe again when I watch your stuff.
You are Both wholesome
Nick, this is a great collaboration.
Men in charge are not holding women accountable
“Happy wife happy life”…you can thank the boomers for this bs
Boomers simp like crazy
@@awsambdaman I'm only a 32yo Millennial, but my perception about this is that women were more respectable and worthy back in the day (at least compared to modern times). Nowadays there is no incentive for chivalry or grace, it's cold nasty and transactional. Sad stuff man.
They know there is no punishment for their actions... They would never have guessed that disinterest would have been possible.
bighomiestevethemetalhead That’s definitely true I’m just saying a lot of boomers still have the mindset of cherishing women..in a better world, that’s how we would operate. But if women want to be vindictive and vicious in the courts, there needs to be a solution to address that. Aka don’t beat men down and privilege women
A most excellent video. I would totally watch this again.
My dad and mother got divorced when I was 4 but he took us every weekend... until he remarried. She hated us and thought her family was all he needed to worry about. By the time I was about 21 or so I was only seeing him maybe once a year at a family get-together. I tried to insert myself back into his life several times and failed... then he died when I was about 45 (10 years ago).
I was never going to put my kids through this. I got divorced after 8 years. I filed. We did joint custody and everything was fine... until she got a boyfriend and stopped seeing the kids almost completely. She would only see the kids for a few hours maybe every month or two. I was paying child support because the kids were on Medicaid and Medicaid required a minimum child support. It was only $50. When I got laid off though I got Medicaid and put the kids on that. I notified Friend of the Court that I had full custody and the kids had Medicaid through me because I got laid off (after 15 years). They decided I was still the one to pay child support. 3 years later when it was going to be renewed I talked to a case worker to make she this was fixed and asked what I could do because she was supposed to pay 40% based on the divorce decree. Since she did not have a job and was living at her boyfriends they were not going to go after her for back debt. They decided I was going to pay the child support again... and again in 3 years after me new case worker insisted I the court could not assign it to me still. Well the kids are all in their 20s, but my ex has finished college and is a RN and makes way more than me and engaged... and she never paid a penny of the $25,000+ she owes me.
I think unless a parent turns it down they should ALWAYS be eligible for joint custody and the expense split should be split by income only. If one pays for insurance that is just part of what is paid by BOTH. If not joint custody can be settled on then it would be Wednesday through half a day Saturday... and even split. And Alimony should be banned.
Beautiful conversation. Loved every second of it. Pure gold...
I have to admit, i was caught in the negative male space for a while, after some really bad experiences with women. And yes, i started to blame women alot...
Then i came across the two of you, independently of each other of course... And you've both helped steer me in the right direction, and i've come to find a new appriciation for women, and relationships. But i have to also confess, i now know, i'm incapable of being in a relationship for a myriad of reasons, so i opted to keep myself out of the dating pool now, and just focus on building myself up...
I love perspective you both bring to us, and i love learning from both of you.
Stay the course. The journey IS the destination !
40:45 biggest thing she isn't saying that makes her advice unworkable for the vast majority is that she was not sleeping around during this courtship period. Most women do. If she was her man is a simp and none of us should listen to a word she says
Plus she met her husband ten years ago when she was in her early 20s, from what it seems she didn't make a lot of reckless choices, the world and social media has changed rapidly and women's minds have been poisoned.
How would you know what most women do?
@@punkypagan simp detected
Great interview and interesting comments. Thank you for sharing this interview.
LOVE THIS GIRL!!!
Watched her for YEARS, now.
It makes me so happy to see two of my favorite creators, collaborating together to spread an important message. Great job to you both.
Fellas Do. Not. Get. Married. Don't let anyone take everything away from you like that and keep draining you with alimony and child support payments for years or decades afterwards. Respect Yourself More Than That please.
this is the collab I wished to see for a long time, have been following both of you and was bamboozled in the most positive way when I saw both faces in the same thumbnail
Makes you question what the hell we fought over sea's for. When the real enemy was here all along.
Reform is an understatement
Fantastic video, positive toward both women and men, at last. You both are wonderful human being .
This was an unexpected guest! I can’t stick around to watch the live broadcast, but I look forward to the recording/any clips that come out of it!
Only a few minutes in and excited to hear this discussion. My niece has a terrible and abusive mother. This is what caused the original break up of the family. Of course, she got full custody despite this. It took an ATTEMPTED MURDER of the child for her to lose 50/50 rights. Fast forward 4 years, she is fighting to get custody back is actually making some progress. It is horrifying.
I'm a little worried for the dadvocates reputation after this, not because I dislike her or Nick or anything, but because I know people will use her appearance on his show to shoehorn her as some kind of strawman republican stereotype just to discredit what she has to say in the future.
They didn't need her to do this to try that. They've been calling her a conservative misogynist for simply trying to say women should be accountable
At the risk of sarcasm not working well in text….
Oh no! They might think she cares for family structure, and good morals, and treating your neighbors with love and kindness! What a terrible thing to be considered as!
@@Dominicus13indeed! She might be a strong stable individual capable of thinking for herself and not just chugging down whatever is fed to her by the acolytes of the Cathedral (government, media, academia, corporations).
She might not just consume product and get excited for next product.
Oh bother...oh bother...
She's been dealing with those accusations for years already. The worst this will do is renew it for a little bit, before they realize she's not kidding when she says she just doesn't care what people call her. In the last year alone, she's seen a massive increase in people calling her a Pick Me, homophobic, racist, a slave to her husband, all sorts of stuff. Aside from laughing at the accusations (and occasionally banning a few of the worst), she hasn't even commented on them. This is more likely to grow her audience, rather than crush her.
If your not actively destroying the family then your right wing.
Thanks to you both for this video! Marriage is a verb - both partners need to make an effort! Subscriber for a long time!
A few woman I have worked with over the years when they mention finding a man they have this list of how they want to be treated yet they don’t seem to consider how they will treat this so called future man.
Awesome to see two of my favorite channels come together like this. I hope you guys do more of these