What Is The #1 Cause Of Addiction? | Dr. Gabor Maté

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  • Опубліковано 12 січ 2025
  • In this short clip with Dr. Gabor Maté he reveals the #1 cause of addiction, how to prevent addiction, the impact of trauma and more.
    Check out the full interview I did with Dr. Gabor Maté: • Dr. Gabor Maté On Why ...
    ⚠ WELLNESS DISCLAIMER ⚠
    Please be advised; the topics related to mental health in my content are for informational, discussion, and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your current condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard from your favorite creator, on social media, or shared within content you’ve consumed.
    If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.
    If you do not have a health professional who is able to assist you, use these resources to find help:
    Emergency Medical Services-911
    If the situation is potentially life-threatening, get immediate emergency assistance by calling 911, available 24 hours a day.
    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or suicideprevent....
    SAMHSA addiction and mental health treatment Referral Helpline, 1-877-SAMHSA7 (1-877-726-4727) and www.samhsa.gov

КОМЕНТАРІ •

  • @dougbopst1
    @dougbopst1  11 місяців тому +10

    Download the PDF of my memoir "From Felony to Fitness to Free" for FREE: dougbopst.com/FREE/
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    Apple: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adversity-advantage/id1496406333

  • @robertclark9
    @robertclark9 11 місяців тому +71

    Unresolved grief, dysfunctional environment, childhood abuse, and genetic disposition were the primary factors in my substance abuse. Self medication probably saved me from “checking out” as a child. It began as a survival mechanism in adolescence. And continued because of the lack of life skills that should’ve been taught, and are needed in raising any child. Learned behavior, is practiced behavior. Recovery wasn’t as simple as putting down the drugs and alcohol. It’s learning from scratch a healthy lifestyle, vs complete insanity. And I applaud all those that find their way out of the dysfunction, all the grief, and all the misery.

    • @johngallagher72
      @johngallagher72 11 місяців тому

      Hope you are doing ok . The first two words you wrote ...unresolved grief ...are the cause of my trauma as I don't think I've recovered yet from losing my mom in 2013 and my dad in 2023 .

    • @robertclark9
      @robertclark9 11 місяців тому +3

      @johngallagher72 I hope you are also. I’m a believer that we never really recover from grief. Losing someone, as I lost my daughter many years ago stays with me. It never hurts any less. It just begins to hurt less often when you process it. Human brains have a built in defense for grief. Otherwise we’d all go crazy. It’s just a matter of tapping into it. Sometimes grief support groups can be helpful. Just hearing others share their pain, and how they come to terms with it can be incredibly effective. Remember you’re going to be ok. My thoughts are with you.

  • @Hison-Dcarman
    @Hison-Dcarman 11 місяців тому +221

    I started drinking alcohol since my teenage. Spent my whole life fighting alcohol addiction. Also suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.

    • @smith23652
      @smith23652 11 місяців тому +1

      YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @Tierneycristian
      @Tierneycristian 11 місяців тому +4

      I'm really happy for you that your wife decided to help you...I hear about alot of family members or so called friends shutting an addict out of their life, which since most addicts do it to mask emotions to me is the worse thing someone can do to an addict.

    • @FrankMorrison-vu2kc
      @FrankMorrison-vu2kc 11 місяців тому

      Yes he's Dr.alishrooms. Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.

    • @PriscillaLogan-by9ll
      @PriscillaLogan-by9ll 11 місяців тому

      I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

    • @TomSanders-qv8bv
      @TomSanders-qv8bv 11 місяців тому +3

      I was horrifically depressed since childhood. It was relentless. I assumed it would ultimately end me somehow. About twelve years ago I randomly accepted the offer from a friend of a few doses of mushrooms. I did them two consecutive nights alone. First night was pretty mild. The second night? Wow. I saw my depression from every angle, realized much. Next day: depression totally gone. Never came back, never coming back. It's like it's a forest far away I can remember, and could probably find again with enough effort, but it has zero impact on anything in my life or mind. They honestly saved my life and improved it immensely. I never did them again, either. I wish there was a good, organized way to administer them to people who would benefit from them.

  • @andamanexotics2022
    @andamanexotics2022 11 місяців тому +142

    A lack of love. Love is everything. A child with no love will always become an adult with problems. Love is everything.

    • @Elrond_Hubbard_1
      @Elrond_Hubbard_1 11 місяців тому +10

      Yep, that is true.
      I was never 'abused', but I grew up in an utterly loveless household with a narcissistic mother and a father that could only be described as an emotionless void. Left home at 19 and went straight in to drinking and drugs.

    • @HerbertFlowers-l3h
      @HerbertFlowers-l3h 11 місяців тому +5

      Same situation in my poor, dysfunctional, intolerable childhood

    • @viliusr.8792
      @viliusr.8792 11 місяців тому +1

      Does spoiling your child is love, or being harsh, disciplining is love?

    • @dickmullen3750
      @dickmullen3750 11 місяців тому

      I have the most loving parents, with their own flawes ofcourse, but I became an addict anyway, so is my dad. Your explanation doesnt cut it for me.

    • @karendalsadik7119
      @karendalsadik7119 11 місяців тому +1

      Agree.

  • @mrnelsonius5631
    @mrnelsonius5631 11 місяців тому +3

    I’m a recovering alcoholic, 11 years sober. I think like most things there is nature and nurture involved in addictions. Trauma is huge, and I’ve had some big ones, but I also had a loving and protective immediate family growing up. But alcoholism in particular runs in my DNA. My father’s brother and his dad were alcoholics that died prematurely from it. I’ve lost several relatives, ones I knew personally, in my life to substance abuse. From the beginning, my response to alcohol consumption was VERY different from my peers. High tolerance, no hangovers, and I just wouldn’t pass out no matter how much I drank. So there’s both involved. I will say, my loving family was a huge part of why I was able to get sober when alcohol started ruining my life. That support and those values instilled in me by my parents got me through the extreme discomfort of getting sober. That foundation of love was absolutely necessary in me finding the strength to change.

  • @RalphDeshon9710
    @RalphDeshon9710 11 місяців тому +84

    I remember as a child my mom and grandmother told me they were going to abort me but didn't have the money, she already had 4 kids. At that time I didn't know what an abortion was. It didn't get much better. I was an addict most of my life, finally got clean in my early fifties. 8 years ago.

    • @theobserver9131
      @theobserver9131 11 місяців тому +6

      I was adopted by infertile farmers who wanted farm hands. I was sold for labor.

    • @theobserver9131
      @theobserver9131 11 місяців тому +5

      I was lucky enough not to get hooked on any particular substance... none of them work long enough for me to pursue that long. But I do need a little of something or another most of the time. Shear sobriety is hell for me. I'm glad it's working out for you!!!

    • @fredajordan5704
      @fredajordan5704 11 місяців тому

      I feel exactly like you do. I can´t even stand the idea of total sobriety. I`ve cut down on most drugs I did in the past, now at 68yo I take perscription drugs, no much but I can`t do without. I`m content with the way it is now. @@theobserver9131

    • @GhANeC
      @GhANeC 11 місяців тому +9

      Im sorry to hear that. No child should have to hear that, specially in the insensitive way you were likely told. All the best to you.

    • @samunicorn9721
      @samunicorn9721 11 місяців тому

      ​@@theobserver9131sorry to hear that. Which country,and how old are you please?

  • @Jennifer-bw7ku
    @Jennifer-bw7ku 11 місяців тому +167

    Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 11 місяців тому +3

      Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 11 місяців тому +3

      Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

    • @steceymorgan814
      @steceymorgan814 11 місяців тому

      I wish they were readily available in my place.
      Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
      He's constantly talking about killing someone.
      He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

    • @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU
      @APOLLINAIREBARTHOLOMIEU 11 місяців тому

      Is he on instagram?

    • @elizabethwilliams6651
      @elizabethwilliams6651 11 місяців тому

      Yes he is. dr.sporesss

  • @jasonmuise7496
    @jasonmuise7496 11 місяців тому +14

    The pain was my family 40 yrs ago. Now the pain is physical and i can't run away or escape from it. I have to accept it. But pain management (soft addiction) i call it, is real. Just as damaging to the mind. I am primed or tuned for escape. My life story. Thanks for this man. 🙏

  • @DavidJulianYvesTysall
    @DavidJulianYvesTysall 11 місяців тому +33

    This is the best explanation of addiction I've ever heard.
    If you don't have any love from others and your addiction is the only thing that gives you the feeling of being loved, is it any wonder people are powerless to stop.
    They are alone, trying to cope with trauma, or painful non loving, interactions with society.
    Now, at the mercy of addiction, they face negative reactions, from the loveless society partly to blame for your addiction (based on a perceived view that addicts are morally defunct criminals).
    For me the answer is simple..... Love, love, love...... Always has been

    • @kkjunior29
      @kkjunior29 11 місяців тому

      Love is a concept crested by humans, that thing doesn't exist

    • @DavidJulianYvesTysall
      @DavidJulianYvesTysall 11 місяців тому +1

      Fair enough, to me love is like a metaphorical hug and that someone else is going to be there for you unconditionally

    • @AlexTTzer0
      @AlexTTzer0 11 місяців тому

      @@kkjunior29 When people use the term "love" I interpret it as a mixture of certain feelings towards another person, like compassion, affection, acceptance, selflessness etc.
      That is why different people may use or feel the word "love" for different reasons or for different people. Because this said mixture is differently combined for everyone...

    • @LauraDavimes
      @LauraDavimes 11 місяців тому +1

      people who are VERY loved suffer addiction

    • @dickmullen3750
      @dickmullen3750 11 місяців тому

      Nope. Many addicts grow up in loving environments.

  • @TheMikeMacchi
    @TheMikeMacchi 11 місяців тому +25

    I just watched a video by Jordan Peterson where he elaborated on the idea of trauma and it's effects on the psyche. A very interesting point that was made was that the emotional trauma itself is NOT the most damaging factor. More harmful is the cruelty and malice often received directly following many traumatic events.
    If people are cared for properly after something harmful occurs, the recovery can be much quicker and more effective.
    Unfortunately many experience bad treatment after emotional harm.

    • @briobarb8525
      @briobarb8525 8 місяців тому +1

      I am glad you got something out of listening to Jordan Peterson. But I can't relate. Peterson is like a self absorbed talking head unto himself. Gabor is a 100 fold healthier and wiser person.

  • @alienautopsy9326
    @alienautopsy9326 Рік тому +87

    This guy is a genius. I am addicted to the gym but i think of it as a positive habit for me because it saved my life from being an alcoholic, obese and depressed sad piece of life and I am now a personal trainer in the best shape of my life and no depression plus over a year sober. Totally rewired my brain thanks to Gabor Mate by recognizing the root cause of my addiction and turning those same impulses that were detrimental into productive activities.

    • @jenifermullin7168
      @jenifermullin7168 Рік тому +2

      How so? How did You use it to get into positive changes? Please help❣️

    • @alienautopsy9326
      @alienautopsy9326 Рік тому

      @@jenifermullin7168 Paraphrasing one of his speeches ‘ Trauma is not what happens to you, trauma is what happens inside you because of what happens to you.’ This helped me develop an attitude of accountability for all the poor decisions I made in the past. Instead of blaming other people or outside circumstances I took responsibility for how I reacted to unfortunate situations. I chose to stuff my face with bad food, I chose to pick up the bottle, I chose to be a lazy ass, no one forced me to do it. This world will throw curve balls, people will act like a gonorrhea to you , they’ll cut you off on the freeway, etc. It sucks and there will be things out of your control but you will have control on how you react to the situations. By doing this you are taking the power back and not giving it away to the person that committed the injustice. Having a victim mentality , and I’m not saying you have one I don’t know you, in my case made me attract more situations where I could declare my victim hood, not very conducive to personal progress and when I became aware of how tacky that attitude was I stopped by adopting a new perspective. I also realized that it was going to take time and to have patience embracing a new outlook. It’s easier to destroy than to build, so I destroyed my old self and started building a new life. Check out videos on neuroplasticity , not only is it possible to rewire your brain, it is essential for the brain to create new neuropathways in order for it to keep working properly, in fact that’s what it’s designed to do. James Clear in Atomic Habits encourages people to improve just 1% everyday. I have yet to see an anthropological manifesto on the value and importance of humor and it helps a lot to have a good sense of humor, specially with yourself. Surround yourself with people that empower you and with music or film that can uplift you, even if it’s death metal and toilet horror cinema , whatever you’re into immerse yourself in things you like no matter how quirky they are , you don’t owe an explanation to anyone, nurture your authenticity . If you’ve been in a rut remember nothing is permanent , you can change. I’m gonna go watch Spaceballs. Good luck

    • @utualan
      @utualan Рік тому +1

      😂decision to replace the bad habit with a good one.

    • @jenifermullin7168
      @jenifermullin7168 Рік тому

      @@utualan so You mentioned...

    • @laurab9518
      @laurab9518 Рік тому +3

      What about when you can’t go like when you have the flu and feel really sick and need to rest! ? If you go, it’s an addiction. If you over exercise, it’s an addiction

  • @jordanjackman1537
    @jordanjackman1537 11 місяців тому +30

    It's so instinctive when he says it. Peaceful environment around healthy women, Parents attuned to the children, positive emotional health care and physical care in a generational sense sound so beneficial.

  • @johnacott1238
    @johnacott1238 Рік тому +29

    It's been a treasure to find Gabor Mate.

    • @moniqueengleman873
      @moniqueengleman873 10 місяців тому +2

      Truly, I have seen him speak. Really enjoy him.

    • @briobarb8525
      @briobarb8525 8 місяців тому

      Gabor is truly a treasure!!!

  • @JasonNbraun78
    @JasonNbraun78 Рік тому +63

    Great video, as always! Dr. Gabor always hits the nail on the head in regards to trauma. This guy should be a household name and his perspective should be more wildly shared.
    Instead, we have to hear about Taylor Swifts relationship, the Kardashians and who they are fornicating with, and political figures throwing stones about body odor and acting like they are in 4th grade.
    What a world!

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Рік тому

      Dr GAbor Mate wrote book Myth of Normal - that the society is toxic itself.

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 11 місяців тому +3

      @@Nozinbonsai For some unknown reason I cannot spread the thread and I can't see my own comment.
      I dislike You tube censorship, it is like North Korea destroying free speech.

    • @briobarb8525
      @briobarb8525 8 місяців тому +1

      So agree with you!!!

    • @briobarb8525
      @briobarb8525 8 місяців тому

      So agree with you!!! Love Gabor Mate!

  • @prioritea.merchant
    @prioritea.merchant 11 місяців тому +4

    One week into NA listening to Gabor talk about the same thing he's always talked about-- putting recovery into practice. It's good to know about addiction, I'm grateful to know about recovery.

  • @kevinlibby681
    @kevinlibby681 11 місяців тому +21

    I’ve never considered taking opiates until I watched this.

  • @WhatsThePoint01
    @WhatsThePoint01 11 місяців тому +2

    We need to hear this man speak on all world problems 😭😭🙏🙏

  • @klinischgut
    @klinischgut 10 місяців тому +2

    He had me. He knows what hes talkin.

  • @nl212ep
    @nl212ep 10 місяців тому +4

    This is the best explanation of the origin of all addictions. Wow!❤

  • @trevortammen2341
    @trevortammen2341 11 місяців тому +8

    Started vaping after i had covid cause it was one of the few things i still got intense fruit flavors from again had me hooked for 3 years.....i just quit 3 days before halloween last year and ive never looked back

  • @deborahbasel184
    @deborahbasel184 11 місяців тому +3

    My wounds are deep. Not feeling loved, wanted or worthy as a child, continued into my adult years.

  • @ElysianFlame
    @ElysianFlame 11 місяців тому +6

    Thank you for this talk, it helps me a lot, not to see the addiction, but the trauma in people

  • @miramacanovic6435
    @miramacanovic6435 11 місяців тому +6

    Thank you Dr Gabor ❤

  • @SuperZippyzippy
    @SuperZippyzippy 11 місяців тому +5

    He just listed all my addictions

  • @hemanhunters6783
    @hemanhunters6783 Рік тому +12

    💛Gabor is a hero

  • @scottconlon5124
    @scottconlon5124 11 місяців тому +7

    Extremely profound Sir

  • @EMan-cu5zo
    @EMan-cu5zo 11 місяців тому +2

    I was a major alcoholic and drug addict for 25 years and I personally don’t link it to any type of trauma. I was depressed for sure but never suffered any type of trauma I can link to it.

  • @letalucy644
    @letalucy644 11 місяців тому +1

    Thank you Gabor Mate. You’re a lifesaver all day long, as you make things that don’t make sense, make sense, so that we can find our way out of these cycles of living hell. ❤

  • @abzigwe3656
    @abzigwe3656 Рік тому +13

    Great Job to you both!! Short clip and riddled with Gems.

  • @ShamusMcShane
    @ShamusMcShane 11 місяців тому +3

    This is an archaic & antiquated definition

    • @BunnyDarko
      @BunnyDarko 11 місяців тому +3

      This man's 'definition' seems to resonate with thousands and thousands of real people who do or have struggled with addiction. *Naturally* you are entitled to your opinion. But could you please elaborate? What is the 'correct' definition in your opinion? And ... if you don't mind sharing this (no pressure tho), on what do you base this / what is your frame of reference? 💜

    • @kimberlyshaw5778
      @kimberlyshaw5778 11 місяців тому

      What’s your definition?

  • @cyndijoylee
    @cyndijoylee 11 місяців тому +6

    My biological mother tried to find an abortion and in 1956-57 she could not find help. She did what she could to prevent a live birth.
    I was born and diagnosed with cerebral palsy and placed I. An incubator and given phenobarbital.
    I didn’t have cerebral palsy
    I was responding to the the trauma my mother had gone through and had caused me also.
    Thank you for the work you do.
    I’m okay now.
    But it took a lot of work.
    But because of you I never lost hope.

    • @cyndijoylee
      @cyndijoylee 11 місяців тому +4

      I am adopted.

    • @user-randi1987
      @user-randi1987 10 місяців тому +1

      ​@@cyndijoyleeI hope life is good to you now

    • @cyndijoylee
      @cyndijoylee 10 місяців тому +1

      @@user-randi1987 Thankyou so much. I know who I am finally. I am not what my adoptive parents would tell me I was or who they needed me to be more like instead of me. I just spent several days amongst them. I will never be good enough for them.
      But I know now there’s not going to be a change. They ve told me long ago that they just weren’t able to bond with me. So yay.

    • @user-randi1987
      @user-randi1987 10 місяців тому +1

      @@cyndijoylee I think you are the only one you have to be "Good enough" for. You are the only person you have to spend all your life with. Make yourself happy

    • @cyndijoylee
      @cyndijoylee 10 місяців тому

      @@user-randi1987 yes! That is so true. I think I’ve finally realized things will never change. I no longer feel obligated to spend time with them. I realize I can’t spend time with them it physically causes me pain. funny i forgot how I feel around them. Covid kept me away for over three years. I’m not vaccinated so I couldn’t go they wouldn’t let me in their home. Which I understand.
      For health reasons I did not get the vaccine.

  • @LightCodes333
    @LightCodes333 11 місяців тому +5

    Powerful information. Thank you so much for this video ❤

  • @fredajordan5704
    @fredajordan5704 11 місяців тому +3

    FInally a Dr. med that knows what he`s talking about. Every single word I can fully agree to, especially the fact that`s so important to care more about pregnant women in difficult life situations in order to protect the child. Never heard anyone else from the field addiction / cause of addiction stating this.

  • @Antipodean33
    @Antipodean33 11 місяців тому +5

    This is what I don't understand, as a long term addict I never had trauma in my life, I met an older woman who I ended up living with and she and her friends introduced me to heroin. I got addicted before I even realized I had a habit on it. I used for 40 + years because in my mind I simply enjoyed it. I love the high. I love how much stuff I'd get done on it, my work rate is astronomical on it, I've never been so productive. I also like how it tempered my more angry side, that short tempered aspect of my personality, not suffering fools well, it gave me an empathy that I'd never experienced before. As for trauma I had the best childhood, I had a doting father that spent time doing all different things with me, fishing, hunting, dirt bikes etc etc, all the great stuff boys love. He did spoil me and definitely no trauma

    • @Day-ZDuke
      @Day-ZDuke 11 місяців тому +1

      Nothing is ever 100% applicable. There will always be exceptions/ outliers to the “rule”. And obviously there is a genetic component to addiction as well, some people’s brains are just predisposed to it
      Just like not every person who suffers trauma will become an addict, not every addict had to suffer trauma to become an addict. Something as simple as trying certain drugs can trigger the addictive tendencies in our brain, much like you described for your situation

    • @adamgreene2867
      @adamgreene2867 11 місяців тому +2

      You might have and not even thought it was something that effected you. I always blew everything off I became numb to a lot of things before I ever drank or did any drugs

    • @larrylanham2779
      @larrylanham2779 11 місяців тому +2

      Maybe trauma is simply that something was more than you could correctly process at the time and that was the wound? Just too much too soon with too little tools to process the event? Perhaps a change in the household? Maybe the drugs themselves?

    • @dickmullen3750
      @dickmullen3750 11 місяців тому

      You are no addict when you simply enjoy it.

    • @Bellitab
      @Bellitab 8 місяців тому

      You definitely had the trauma you just don't understand it from a child view. Something terrible didn't have to happen to you for you to have trauma.

  • @remihein4452
    @remihein4452 11 місяців тому +5

    Thanks for sharring this information and Knowledge!!!
    Love to All Beings❣️❣️❣️

  • @marafalagan9314
    @marafalagan9314 Рік тому +26

    I have been 32 years straight and love my life !!!! I deal with my life in a very healthy way !!!! Happy new year beautiful world 🌈🌈 🥰🥰♥️♥️

    • @sandramedina9482
      @sandramedina9482 Рік тому +2

      What?

    • @MrKirkaudi
      @MrKirkaudi Рік тому +3

      What?
      Huh

    • @Jop_Kop
      @Jop_Kop Рік тому +3

      Haha strange indeed, but good for you, whatever floats your boat, and happy new year to you as well

    • @vmvcreations
      @vmvcreations 11 місяців тому +2

      Hmm. I can only assess from the construction of your post that prior to your “ … 32 years straight …” you were what? Bent? Bisexual? Gay? Something yet defined? That was an interesting post that really kicks the Freudian in me up a bit. Especially since you posted the LGBTQIA flag along with the kiss and heart emoji. Hmmm. Interesting to say the least. You, my dear human have an interesting way in communicating. I hope you continue to find the happiness you seek.

    • @Just_A_Name14
      @Just_A_Name14 11 місяців тому

      We’re not talking about sexual preferences

  • @jasonrichard7560
    @jasonrichard7560 11 місяців тому +7

    Being worn out from trauma causing dopamine receptors to malfunction

  • @Orgazmo-69
    @Orgazmo-69 Рік тому +21

    Boredom is the 1st step towards relapse.
    -Jay, Clerks 2

    • @Alexssandre
      @Alexssandre 11 місяців тому

      Bur boredom is amazing if there’s no relapse

    • @Orgazmo-69
      @Orgazmo-69 11 місяців тому

      @@Alexssandre I guess, boredom is better with weed ONLY, not powders or pills or anything else.

    • @jubileej1629
      @jubileej1629 11 місяців тому

      Weed is harmful as well​@@Orgazmo-69

    • @Orgazmo-69
      @Orgazmo-69 11 місяців тому

      @@jubileej1629 Yes you are 100% right but what isn't? McDonalds is harmful, Energy drinks and sodas with tons of sugar, if you think about it... Fast food gives heart problems and colesterol, sugar is turned into fat and can cause diabetes and so on if you don't burn the sugar by sporting.
      Cannabis damages the lungs
      Cocaine makes bones fragile
      Benzos hits the liver so does alcohol.
      I'm not a full on smoker, I smoke maybe 15 - 20 joints per month but purely for medical use for my insomnia instead of Ambien or other sleeping pills and it's a nice feeling if you have a low tollerance.
      Havent smoked for 2 weeks because my sleep is good, but when I feel like it's gonna be a sleepless night, I take a jar with indicas like Banana Sundae, or Pink Kush, those kinds of strains and I sleep like a baby.
      God bless :D

    • @dickmullen3750
      @dickmullen3750 11 місяців тому

      A negative attitude is the first step towards relapse.

  • @cadilacdesert
    @cadilacdesert Рік тому +11

    I love this guy! This guy is a Jewel

    • @Jop_Kop
      @Jop_Kop Рік тому

      Gabor is a JEWel indeed, haha, great guy

    • @mrfake675
      @mrfake675 11 місяців тому

      He's a con

    • @Jop_Kop
      @Jop_Kop 11 місяців тому

      Thanks for that insightful comment mister fake. @@mrfake675

    • @Jop_Kop
      @Jop_Kop 11 місяців тому

      Thanks for your comment that our hero is a con, mister fake. @@mrfake675

  • @Just_A_Name14
    @Just_A_Name14 11 місяців тому +12

    Unresolved childhood trauma

  • @Thats_my_opinion_so_chill
    @Thats_my_opinion_so_chill 11 місяців тому +2

    Wow that hit so deep 😳

  • @PaulZorabedian
    @PaulZorabedian 11 місяців тому +3

    We had all the love no pain all we did was laugh and my brother OD3 times he told me he could not stop well he died the 4th time and he had love family and no problem every thing was great and he died. 59 years old

  • @alanwattsfan1785
    @alanwattsfan1785 11 місяців тому +1

    Incredibly interesting, food for thought

  • @kr1221E
    @kr1221E Рік тому +6

    Thanks God for Dr Gabor Mate ❤

  • @Chris-lz1fs
    @Chris-lz1fs 11 місяців тому +2

    Yes, this is perfectly sound reasoning of the factors that may influence addiction but my question is how does someone actually get better from these mental, emotional and physical scars?

    • @dickmullen3750
      @dickmullen3750 11 місяців тому

      No one gets better, you only become stronger. Its not like non-addicts do not have these scars. We all have our scars, its called living. Life is a continues struggle for survival.

  • @Karmatashii
    @Karmatashii 11 місяців тому +4

    Brooo, this video popped up in my feed and saw that it didn't have that many views but it started autoplaying anyway and everything he said were making so much sense for someone like me. Yes, certainly can't put everything functioning different than the rest in our brains up to our parents but this was just 'on point' so much so that I had to download this clip. Not downloading it to remind myself that I'm a victim but more so to get this knowledge in my system so that I may learn and grow from it

  • @melaniecarroll2538
    @melaniecarroll2538 10 місяців тому

    Relief … that is what everyone is seeking. Relief from stress… mental and emotional relief… sometimes physical trauma.

  • @armandotameron
    @armandotameron 11 місяців тому +2

    You are right on

  • @theflexitech
    @theflexitech 11 місяців тому +1

    All of my closest friends have died from overdoses or drug related incidents. In 14 years I found that dharma practice, and meditation and connecting to the present moment is the best single physical practice I have personally come across, in addition to whatever individual other things people need. You don't have to be buddhist or believe in the teachings, or ways of life, but the practices of dharma are massively beneficial to people struggling in my experience. def - an aspect of truth or reality.
    "all dharmas are forms of emptiness" seeking that and repairing things inside. unlearning bad things and relearning ways that provide a good way of life. You can find online groups to practice with, and can choose whether or not to rely on that group for emotional support, or to just visit to learn about meditation and how to practice it.

    • @cyndijoylee
      @cyndijoylee 11 місяців тому

      So sorry for your losses. ❣️

    • @theflexitech
      @theflexitech 11 місяців тому

      It's everywhere, hard to find a single family that does not have someone they love affected. It's just everyone's loss all the time imo but ty@@cyndijoylee

  • @ashleydavis5557
    @ashleydavis5557 11 місяців тому +4

    Love listening to this guy x

  • @sam_alleycat_666
    @sam_alleycat_666 10 місяців тому

    Thank you for your words. You are helping us to be heard and understand.

  • @dr.feelgood3844
    @dr.feelgood3844 11 місяців тому +3

    Thank you Dr. and postmaster.

  • @yearofthegarden
    @yearofthegarden 11 місяців тому +1

    Thanks for this insight. I've been dealing with addiction my whole life and am self aware enough that I avoid the things I know caused me trauma and the substances that will ruin my life if I habituate their use. I didnt start drinking alcohol until I was 35 and at 37 i'm already struggling with over use. Growing up I dealt with a lot of neglect, starting with how I was put in a weekend religious care with kids from government projects, so when kids I made friends with would get abandoned by their parents, or that parent would show up at my hoiuse at 2am crying for money to pay the taxi, I remember asking why, and I always got shushed. I eventually forced my parents to stop taking me to that place after losing many friends that way, and watching guardians abuse orphan kids that were in the daycare. Going into childhood I had a friend who's dad self deleted, and it happened in a way were he invite me and all out friends over the day after it happened and no one told me until we were about to leave and I saw the whole family breaking down, again no one talked about it and i never saw him again because his mom took him back to italy. Then dealing with a girl I knew for 8 years and dated for three in highschool take my virignity on my 18th birthday and break up with me the day after, along with watching all but one of my friends self delete as they slowly become disconnected from success after highschool. The big issue growing up was my father was never around because he is a workaholic, and when there was conflict he would always run upstairs and leave my mom to deal with everything, which she pretty much would tell me I'm worthless, and going to be the first to die if the world ever ran out of food, which as a result made me one of the best gardeners you'll ever meet.
    All these trauma haunt me to the point where I haven't made a friend since highschool, just associates in passing, and I gave up successful careers because the addictions I had were more important, and essentially started farming because the act of growing food and challenging myself to build everything from scratch with no support while being a workaholic was enough of a reward to keep me from seeking approval and validation from others as I was self employeed and depended on no body.
    I notice now that many times in my life when I get romantic with someone, i always push them away even if they were a perfect fit for me. It's one of my worst habits, self sabotage and recoiling back into a state where I can properly deflect all outward potentials, and remain on my consistent grind without interference. I'm not sure how to deal with the damage, outside of keeping a functional addiction like workaholism and moderate marijuana use, but it would be nice to figure out how to mitigate cravings, particularly because as I age I realize if I don't fix them soon to allow for a health relationship to form with a woman, then I'll essentially be stuck with myself just juggling addictions. Also the familiarity with neglect has gotten me into a few narcissistic relationships where I get slow boiled like a frog into accepting constant mild criticism to a degree where I justify giving more attention to receive better validation from the partner, but it really just feeds their narcissistic supply.

  • @dianatarrant8214
    @dianatarrant8214 Рік тому +6

    His videos are an awakening..so profound..so much wisdom.

  • @teeniequeenie8369
    @teeniequeenie8369 11 місяців тому +5

    Love this man❤

  • @polinkasuperova89888
    @polinkasuperova89888 10 місяців тому +1

    Very good show ❤

  • @Couchchilller
    @Couchchilller 25 днів тому

    Thank you so very much Dr. Gabor Mate for this more and more really understanding my Situation ... in Moment i am in a 🏥 where i make come away from my addiction . Before im only goes to hospital only so long till im fit and go outside an make the same Shit how Before .This is my first time where i really want this not more
    Thank you so much ❤

  • @John-fw2bp
    @John-fw2bp 11 місяців тому +9

    Guilt and Shame keep me addicted. I can not forgive myself. I've been years trying to quit.

    • @maryijeahshuahna999
      @maryijeahshuahna999 11 місяців тому +3

      No matter what you did. I forgive you. You can do it too. Know that you are appreciated. Peace. :)

    • @Noname-oo9gn
      @Noname-oo9gn 11 місяців тому

      You are forgiven may God bless you always ❤️🙏

    • @kirsten1007
      @kirsten1007 11 місяців тому +1

      We all do bad things just know that. Tell God and you are forgiven. It is finished.

    • @azineox9633
      @azineox9633 11 місяців тому +1

      I know this place you’re in. I also struggle to forgive myself. The only thing I can offer is to say I’m with you.

  • @ottifantiwaalkes9289
    @ottifantiwaalkes9289 11 місяців тому +3

    Hi Dr. Gabor
    I have a question.
    I do understand what trauma is very well. Physical as psychological.
    To what degree do we accept these traumas of all kind?
    What I mean is we actually see these traumas as painful and traumatic experiences that cause us pain and suffering instead of opportunities to learn and grow. No pain no gain. How much is self inflicted?
    Why do we not say morn for a while and afterwards find ways to use and see the opportunity to grow and strengthen our self with these profound experiences?

  • @JIMKATSANIDIS
    @JIMKATSANIDIS Рік тому +9

    Great video! Addiction has become an overwhelming epidemic in our society as accessibility and acceptability have increased drug usage. Today, in the United States alone, more than 25 million people are afflicted with this disease that changes the brain of the user over time. Trauma can lead to substance abuse and it can be caused by physical or sexual abuse, death, illness, injury and many other circumstances, and can harm someone's physical, mental and social well-being. Thank you for the useful video Doug and Dr. Gabor!❤👍

  • @VWNaturalView
    @VWNaturalView 10 місяців тому

    There is a line with understanding and attention if it is dangerous or manipulative..... I used to be good to everyone out of duty but if someone is not safe, I am not at fault for protecting myself. Sometimes a person wants to just be right and has the default reaction to be miserable and doesn't see the pile of love and attention others had to give

  • @LightweightUK2007
    @LightweightUK2007 3 місяці тому

    Beautiful Heida art on Gabor’s wall in the background

  • @chrisbell8418
    @chrisbell8418 10 місяців тому

    This is an incredible clip. Thank you. 🙏

  • @theobserver9131
    @theobserver9131 11 місяців тому +6

    I think that for most humans, all life is trauma. Pain is everywhere you turn. Who is going to so no to relief? Let's not pretend that life is inherently good. Life is a thing that happened here, and there's a good reason it hasn't happened everywhere. The universe is hostile to life. We are an anomaly, and most of us are suffering.

    • @H-youtube7
      @H-youtube7 11 місяців тому

      that's why we need community and God.. life is just as much about meaning as suffering, we all can influence that

    • @lisao6928
      @lisao6928 6 місяців тому

      ​@@H-youtube7 You obviously didn't understand this comment.

  • @AlexandreSchwarz
    @AlexandreSchwarz 11 місяців тому +3

    There's, though, an economy centered on addiction. Processed food, loaded with sugar, making people more and more addicted, is an example

  • @shaunmcinnis1960
    @shaunmcinnis1960 11 місяців тому +8

    I am a recovering addict who has been sober for 11 years. It always seemed to me that we look for excuses to justify the fact that we simply want to experience pleasure in many forms. What’s wrong with,” I just want to get high or buzzed” Why does trauma even have to enter the equation. When I sat in a bar drinking and playing pool, the last thing in my mind was my feeling rejected by my over bearing dad, etc…

    • @mikaellindqvist5599
      @mikaellindqvist5599 11 місяців тому

      Cant relate as i always been quite straightforward for example when someone says they drink because it tastes good i told them i drink to get smashed.

    • @jlb9210
      @jlb9210 11 місяців тому +14

      Lol. Having trauma doesn't mean you're always thinking about the thing that traumatized you. Trauma affects your behavior on a deep, unconscious level. You're in denial. I was too for a long time. I said "I never think about my childhood. It's not affecting me, I just wanna feel good!"

    • @nikobellik8491
      @nikobellik8491 11 місяців тому +2

      Then you should really sit and reflect on yourself. I used to think the same thing until I truly stopped and looked at how our experiences shape us as people wether we are conscious of it or not. Our very behavior can be shaped by past experiences and knowing this can really help someone develop as a person. Not saying everyone has some deep rooted trauma but it can help even with the little things.

    • @TomNoles007
      @TomNoles007 11 місяців тому +1

      ​@jlb9210 You are exactly correct, the trauma is not always something you constantly think about, it can be embedded and actually become PART OF you, like a parasite. As regards the OP, I respect his opinion but for me and many, MANY others with PTSD, we are certainly not looking to feel good; rather, it is a need to deaden down negative memories or thoughts, take the edge off, get through another day.

    • @w.urlitzer1869
      @w.urlitzer1869 11 місяців тому

      look deep.

  • @richellepeace4457
    @richellepeace4457 10 місяців тому +1

    Lack of justice is what sparks it. They told you you weren't worth justice so why care about anything... People who receive real justice are much more likely to recover.

  • @jaykay3839
    @jaykay3839 Рік тому +5

    Okay, thank you for telling me what not to do to cause trauma for my children. Now, what are we supposed *to do*?

    • @sicuro5050
      @sicuro5050 11 місяців тому +1

      Love !!!!

    • @generallobster
      @generallobster 11 місяців тому

      It’s easy to say love and be there for them.

  • @johnsaltzohuigin6660
    @johnsaltzohuigin6660 11 місяців тому +4

    The need for acceptance.

  • @royhobbs5167
    @royhobbs5167 11 місяців тому +1

    Honest question; does it have to have negative consequences to be an addiction?? What if you crave something pleasurable and have a hard time giving it up but it’s not creating anything negative in your life??

  • @atomicgeisha
    @atomicgeisha Рік тому +11

    Wow nobody has explained addition to me this way.

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 Рік тому

      Because corrupt medical industry is making money on other people trauma, parasiting on the weakest link of society.

    • @mikejayden2496
      @mikejayden2496 11 місяців тому +5

      Probably why things dont add up for you 😂

    • @ranc1977
      @ranc1977 11 місяців тому

      @@mikejayden2496 I have nothing more to add to this comment.

    • @jubileej1629
      @jubileej1629 11 місяців тому

      😂😂😂😂 hillarupus​@@mikejayden2496

  • @Jordan-n1m1u
    @Jordan-n1m1u 11 місяців тому +4

    Addiction is a good trait... thsts why you like food... or why you hyperfocus on your studies. The trick is mastering your addictive behavior by practicing self control.

    • @jlb9210
      @jlb9210 11 місяців тому +1

      It's not a "trait" that you "master". It's a weakness that you overcome. Did you watch any of the video? Lol

  • @rosewelsh6687
    @rosewelsh6687 11 місяців тому +1

    Your brilliant. Puzzles me though, Some people go through trama, severe. But they have no addictions. They might , be co dependent or use other different coping mechanisms in the brain?

  • @hendrikdebruin4012
    @hendrikdebruin4012 11 місяців тому +4

    I have a lot of anxiety in my life. I always had. My personal finances at age of retirement are in shambles due to me always having helped others. So there is a lot of stress there. Yet I have no addictions. I do not and never have smoked , used alcohol , gambled , been addicted to deviant behavior , money , cars , possessions , people or anything else. So yes I have trauma in the form of huge stress and anxiety. But no addictions. So that put paid to this theory.

    • @jlb9210
      @jlb9210 11 місяців тому +6

      He never said that if you have trauma then you are guaranteed to be addicted. He said addiction comes from trauma. Not the same thing at all.

    • @hendrikdebruin4012
      @hendrikdebruin4012 11 місяців тому

      @@jlb9210 It is just a lame excuse for the weakness of addiction. All addicts are weak minded. You should be able to digest trauma internally with your own will power. I was abandoned by my parents before age 2. At age 5 I was run over by a car driven by a drunk man on the sidewalk. I was left for dead. They wanted to amputate my leg. It was saved but 2 inches shorter than the other one. And that was just the beginning of my life. I started working every weekend of my life at age 7 (yes seven) to save for my education. Enough reason there to shout "I cannot help myself I was traumatized". But I never did.

    • @hendrikdebruin4012
      @hendrikdebruin4012 11 місяців тому

      @@earthling9614 I do not cast judgement. I have known and still know many people with addictions. They always need propping up by society. And they always have an excuse for their behavior. I never needed propping up. I started working every weekend from age 7 and after school joined the armed forces at age 16 which was compulsory in SA. After that I looked out for myself and never asked anyone for anything. For my perception most people always need something from someone - especially addicted people. But that is only my perception.

    • @nikobellik8491
      @nikobellik8491 11 місяців тому

      Financial stress and trauma are completely different. Lol 😆

    • @hendrikdebruin4012
      @hendrikdebruin4012 11 місяців тому

      @@nikobellik8491 Lots of people commit suicide due to financial stress. Many people are traumatized due to their partners gambling away everything they own. If that is not trauma then I do not know what is.

  • @lisao6928
    @lisao6928 6 місяців тому

    I have heard Gabor Mate a bunch of times and thought he had something, but also missing something. This description of the parent love missing from people who are addicted to opiates made a lot of sense.however, there are lots of people who felt loved by their parents who become addicted too.

  • @zoradj7330
    @zoradj7330 11 місяців тому +1

    But its a choise to keep on with the addiction or healing from it

    • @H-youtube7
      @H-youtube7 11 місяців тому

      it becomes like a dysfunctional relationship, it is hard to know that normal is better

  • @tekannon7803
    @tekannon7803 11 місяців тому

    Dr Maté, before I listen and watch your videocast, I believe I have a way to help many people not only get off their addiction, but also out of trouble. What is my method? Mindset. Dr Maté, I believe what is going on out there is that people are hooked into a mindset that has them able to get off the track of the purpose of their life. What is the way to change one's mindset. You may laugh at this, but I believe one most go for his or her greatest challenge in life.

  • @Marie-fi4lo
    @Marie-fi4lo 11 місяців тому +1

    I've watched quite a few Dr. Maté lectures over the years and he's so incredibly intelligent and insightful, with conclusuons based on his many personal encounters with substance users, not just books.
    However, Im having trouble getting fully on board with trauma being the root on "every" case. I would def say most cases but, even he talks about the chemical imbalance and also the genetic component. Are those somehow consided trauma? Possibly. What would be the link then? I'd argue they are seperate and technically not truma based, although they do go hand in hand a lot of times. I def could be wrong, and he is much smarter than I on the topic, but I ask because my reason for starting substances was boredom and lonliness that stemmed from the isolation of covid, and now that it's become a pattern of behavior, I'm having trouble replacing it with something else more positive. My DOC isn't currently opiates though which I feel is much more trauma based, as I was an opiate user for many years. So, I do agree for the most part, but is it fair to say that trauma isn't the root of EVERY case, just most cases?
    I do truly respect the hell outta Dr. Maté and this was a great conversation!

  • @sproccoli
    @sproccoli 11 місяців тому +1

    is distress or discomfort necessarily traumatic though? Boredom is a sort of discomfort, is it trauma? Unrest from impatience? I think this maybe identifying initial conditions, but overstating their severity. Especially when the negative consequences of the addiction are delayed substantially, the cause doesn't really need to be traumatic. It can just be a mild lack of positive stimulation.

  • @end-days
    @end-days 11 місяців тому +3

    I was addicted to sex, most difficult thing I ever had to get victory over. It was literally killing me.

  • @bobpaff4187
    @bobpaff4187 10 місяців тому

    Excellent!

  • @leovicious6992
    @leovicious6992 11 місяців тому +2

    I went to an AA meeting once , some dude there just shared a smoke then he found my home broke into my house and started smoking crack in my bathroom while I slept. to hell witht the 12 steps.

  • @Pazuzu-
    @Pazuzu- 11 місяців тому +1

    Usually guilt Is the main trigger.

  • @Mr.Creosote15
    @Mr.Creosote15 11 місяців тому +2

    I believe humans are hardwired to be a bit obsessive and that it goes back to our days as hunter gatherers. We needed to be obsessive about finding nourishment and a mate. We wouldn't have survived without that base instinct.

  • @sii9423
    @sii9423 11 місяців тому +3

    Loneliness and bordem

  • @colleennadon2119
    @colleennadon2119 11 місяців тому +1

    What about people who inadvertently end up addicts as a result of a painful surgical recovery without having any previous childhood traumas ? Or the teenagers who are reckless and indulge for fun and end up addicted ? Please explain ! I don't buy the trauma excuse for everyone !

  • @protitikhan3861
    @protitikhan3861 Рік тому +2

    His pantomime of receptor-ligand binding was the best thing about this interview for me as a scientist. Brilliant 👏

    • @tomf429
      @tomf429 11 місяців тому

      Good discussion. However, I have never met an addict who accepts full responsibility for their addiction. They always blame it on something or someone other than themselves. They are always victims. Those that finally accept full responsibility are on the road to recovery.

  • @JeffEmerson-k3z
    @JeffEmerson-k3z 10 місяців тому

    I’m bout too turn 60 in about a month n have been clean for 10 years in 2024.
    I was on opioids for 9 years then heroin for almost 5 n have a very hard childhood and a lot of trauma n still have major mental issues that I don’t tell my doctor about.

  • @Cosmic-Wanderer
    @Cosmic-Wanderer 11 місяців тому +3

    Boredom, culture, poverty, going with the crowd, trauma.

  • @NINJED1
    @NINJED1 8 місяців тому

    For Me The Anxiety Is NDE
    Trauma But Also The Response
    Of Authority, Family, & Nobody
    Cares Humanity Is So Isolated

  • @alisaharwood7077
    @alisaharwood7077 11 місяців тому +1

    Jesus HEALED my trauma COMPLETELY ❤😂😊

  • @riverwolf654
    @riverwolf654 4 місяці тому

    I think my alcohol and drug addiction stemmed out of this irrational fear of everything, possibly ingrained at young age by some incidents and negative influencers at that time .

  • @kennithminnich
    @kennithminnich 11 місяців тому

    Imo this all comes down to fear. Fear is the underlying emotion that controls all aspects of the ego.

  • @ayoung1
    @ayoung1 11 місяців тому +3

    What I find frustrating is that, by Maté's terms, the only "fit" parents are those who have either had no problems or who have undergone successful psychotherapy to address their psychological and behavioral issues. This means that 99.99999% of all parents, since the beginning of time, have "traumatized" their children. I am a parent, I had parents of my own and I have met many parents whom I would regard as fine and successful people and NONE come close to the standard of emotional and behavioral perfection that Mate demands. By this standard, all of us are "traumatized" just by breathing and being born of parents.

    • @IrinaKucherenko
      @IrinaKucherenko 10 місяців тому +1

      In my experience, most people have experienced some form of trauma in their childhood. It is normalized in our society.

  • @thorny3218
    @thorny3218 11 місяців тому

    I love drugs. I guess that’s why I’ve never had too much trouble with them. I don’t do them to escape but rather to have an altered state of awareness. I’ll do something a couple times and put it down. Drugs aren’t the problem but needing to escape is the problem. I love life and drugs are simply another experience. I’ve done it all and have little addiction.

  • @vincentgruttadaurio1753
    @vincentgruttadaurio1753 10 місяців тому

    So I've been a drug addict my whole life. Always struggled, obvious obsessive compulsive and anxiety disorder from a very young age.
    The problem with this clip is not that it's a long way of saying whatever your brain thinks is trauma becomes trauma... what do you do to stop it?
    How come if trauma is uncovered and becomes worse then before, how didn't the impact of your brain needing to prevent the memory from being formed leave a bigger physical input on your brain then trauma you perceive ?

  • @Stephen_Math_and_Science
    @Stephen_Math_and_Science 10 місяців тому

    Can you link the studies that support the premises? I wouldn't be surprised if they are true, especially analyzing my life and looking at the lives of others. However, I would still like to see the science.

  • @jamesmayo3827
    @jamesmayo3827 11 місяців тому

    All i have none is trauma. All my life. And i am addicted... but i have a very strong will... but i doesn't not constantly win or have the power. Im a alone allways. I have no friends..
    And what family say they love me
    They keep away from them because i have relapsed on drugs. And so life at 63 is barely worth living.

  • @JerrySponagle
    @JerrySponagle 10 місяців тому

    My 33 yr. Old Son , came to me at age 30, he had a family now and broke down in tears and had to tell me that my ex wife, his Mother sexually abused him since the age of 4 until he was 14 years old. Things he said during his telling of his traumatic experience match with things that I had noticed and spoke to her about. The police did not do a thing. ( she is a Federal Govt. Employe ) it has damaged and ruined his childhood and adult life. He now has 4 children and will not allow his Mother anywhere near his children. She of course said he was delusional. In my opinion we all experience traumatic events, some more than others, but all can be traumatic.

  • @jgrullon32
    @jgrullon32 11 місяців тому +2

    It's a coping