They are like some crazy robot with immense energy, that just keeps coming and coming and coming. Employing the same tactics over and over and over again. Truly exhausting to be around.
My narc spent 15 years in prison for murder of his first wife. He had me convinced that he was wrongfully convicted. I did some research and found out all the facts in his case. I talked to people very familiar with his wife and they told me to get away from him or he would murder me too. I now feel like I dodge a bullet myself.
I dated a narcissist after I got out of a marriage with a physically violent man. The narcissist destroyed me so much more than my husband ever could have.
Emotionally violent - yes absolutely. And it's the worst with the covert, 'good-as-gold' types who are emotionally violent with a smile, all while feigning innocence. If you call them out on it, they pretend they don't know what you are talking about and tell you how worried they are about you because you seem to be having 'emotional problems' - awful, awful human beings.
+Fugue State That's exactly what my narcissistic brother has said to me in the past. Some little thing will trigger him and he becomes angry and combative. Then he'll go into a tirade about how I'm the one with the problem, and I need serious psychological help. To what you said in your comment, he even used the exact language you mentioned by telling me (or should I say, yelled at me), "I'm concerned about you! You need help! Go get help!!!" These people are rotten eggs.
Yup. We're psychologically abused and tortured by a person with no empathy and then are told by them we have "emotional problems" because of it. What I still don't fully get is whether or not they get that they are the abuser or whether their reaction is instinctual and they're that delusional. Maybe it depends on the narc. I think my most recent narc was fully conscious of it but my last one, I'm not so sure. One of the best weapons is to remain as calm as possible in their presence no matter what they say/do so it's hard for them to point to your being "crazy" and easier for you to ask them "if they're ok" during their childish rages.
Fugue State I love your idea of asking them if they're okay when they're raging. It puts the spotlight on them. I actually recently did this with my brother. He gave me an attitude for no particular reason, and I asked why he was getting mad. Of course, he denied it, but he just got into his car and drove away. Good riddance!
For more great information on recovering from narcissistic abuse and gaslighting please visit Activism of Care on UA-cam. Activism of Care is dedicated to helping everyone understand how to recover and love once again.
My ex narc bf became threatening after I broke up. He refused to leave. Thankfully my friends stayed over until I finally got the police to ask him to leave and he did. Verbal abuse was considered domestic violence in the state I was in. I could have had him arrested, but feared revenge. I was very concerned for my safety. If you are with a narc, run for your life. Violent or not, they want you dead or destroyed. Very dangerous entities.
A violent Narcissist could be someone that also has Antisocial Personality Disorder coupled with narcissism. This would make them a Sociopath or Psycopath. Good video.
Not everybody with Antisocial Personality Disorder is violent though...A narcissist's physical violence happens often when their ego has been hurt very much and their charm isn't going to make themselves feel better.
Yeah, I agree that the more violent or verbally and physically aggressive narcissists probably also have antisocial traits. For instance, I'm pretty sure I'm dealing with a covert. This person is very passive aggressive and chronically emotionally invalidating, and though the person can be verbally aggressive (insulting, condescending, sarcastic, hurtful) on occasion when emotions run high, I have never felt physically threatened nor do I think I ever will be. The more introverted or covert types I don't think I have a tendency toward overt verbal or physical abuse, unless they also have what are known as "dark Triad" traits. Subtle and sometimes perhaps not that subtle (once you start learning about this stuff it's not very subtle after a while ;) ) emotional and psychological violence--absolutely--but in my case this is always done with total plausible deniability, and raging at me or physically harming me wouldn't give him that cover.
You are right on. I didn't know I was married to a narcissist. He became violent, so I left him. Almost 3 years narc-free and feeling stronger every day. Thank you for all your help
After 17 years with my ex, and 4 glasses left of a set that I got after my Mother's death, ashtrays, coffee mugs, all broken from him smashing them against the wall, which left holes, his final physical act of violence came at the end of December 2016, where he tried to break my arm, and strangle me! He still sits in jail awaiting trial. Even IN jail, he must have thought he could manipulate the "no contact" order, because he called me, and send a letter addressed to "the cat", and one to my friend who doesn't even live here! YES..they can be violent!! I am FREE now, I escaped with my LIFE!!
jofish420 hi I just wanted to say I also have had him in jail with a no contact. I would recieve letters also with a different first name used not mine. 1 of my friends received letter too. cut story short I ONLY wish I never looked back the manipulation worked AGAIN I actually saved him from going prison. I was once told never to go back because it will be worse and to be quite honest it's hell the worst I've ever experienced with him six years now it's been and more intense emotional pain confusion shock so much rage and anger in me with myself I'm not going to sit here and play victim though because I'm not a victim this was my choice and I'm going to never look back this time one last thing the childlike Behavior exactly what you said it's weird isn't it even act like that in front of his own mom when he throws his raging fits it's such a turn-off mines I'll past MMA fighter big strong guy and when you see him acting like this little kid throwing a fit literally his voice changes and when he sees me losing my mind from it I'm starting to get angry and rage he smiles it's just disgusting I can't confront him about lies or cheating that's when he becomes demonic his face honestly change you could see the rage in his eyes voice change. very jealous he is I think he has delusional disorder with it he always accuses me of the weirdest stuff every job he has I'm sleeping with the boss now his brother but I don't think it's an act because he even gets crazy with his mom about it because he thinks his mom and dad are sneaking me over there when he's at work I could go on but I don't know ways to anymore of your time I'm happy though you found life again God bless you
Sherri Sentieri wow. This is intense. I hope you are working seriously on an escape plan. If you haven't already, please check out Kim Wilson here on YT. She has had almost parallel experiences with her demon entity. Take care🌺✝️🌺
I hope that you escape!! It's the only way! Everything that you described, is what I lived through too! GET OUT, PLEASE! The last night for me when he tried to kill me, I saw that evil face too!! It's really scary!! GET OUT! There are shelters that will help you!
E L0VE hi this is Sherri. Ty very much for taking time to reply to my message. AMAZING my mom always said the "LORD WORKS in mysterious ways". within 1 hour of this message that DEMONIC FACE VOICE JUST PURE EVIL was nose to nose with me this EMPTY SHELL. IN my head I would pray while looking at him and say in my head pray I REBUKE U ALL EVIL AROUND ME I AM A CHILD OF GODS AND I RUBUKE U IN THE NAME OF JESUS. My Faith is not 100% many questions about GOD and I don't go church or study bible often enuff, but this is when he would Freaks out worst is when I repeated this prayer in name of JESUS And BELIEVED JESUS WOULD PROTECT ME. he would start to punch himself in head screaming n scratch himself throw crap BUT NOT COME NEAR ME. YES I ACTUALLY SOMEWAY LEFT I KNEW THAT THING IS NOT HUMAN ITS OF EVIL. I Should of went to police, but my nerves shook up n ENERGY DRAINED weak n went to bed. This is the hardest part now stay no contact. leaving in itself is exhausting MENTALLY N u need be safe Always!! u fear unknown now n hurt emotionally now worse and throw in all your why N HOW COULD U THOUGHTS N questions u NEVER get answers to😓yes silence speaks TRUTH. I hate crying i know what I'm facing I learned because i no longer have distractions of him the "Triggers of very painful memories" I forgot of COME FORTH. THE MANY WAYS HE HURT ME. I learned much. THANK YOU I HEARD YOUR VOICE LAST NIGHT AFTER READING UR MESSAGE I DID LEAVE. GOD BLESS YOU, Sherri
jofish420 , Hi thus is Sherri. Thank you very much for your reply. see my message above yours I replied to. YES I MANAGED to go last night I threatened call cops if didn't let go N phone in hand. SINCE HE HAS A WARRENT OUT FROM HIS PROBATION OFFICER for obscounding HE don't want cops around. just scary leaving literally walk to car nerves shot hoping he don't run out by me. If I can stay away no contact n Survive its that feeling the unknown. when he was jail I knew n feels secure but out jail n no contact u always use caution n feel like there watch u or someone for them or u get letter on car window etc. I'm utilizing police again and no contact if they catch him. I'm going to groups n therapy now hope help me stay strong mentally...pathetic how a 1 man or women can try to take your heart mind n worse ur SOUL I know if I don't go He WILL kill me mentally physically (health), emotionally and who knows murder me. I can't overlook it. I never felt this way before with anyone in my 47 years alive. IM HAPPY FOR YOU AND BREAKING FREE HURTS BUT IT HEALS. AND ITS NICE U SHARED UR EXPERIENCE IN THIS COMMENT TO ALL. YOU GAVE ME CONFIRMATION IT WONT STOP. I LEFT LAST NIGHT CRAZY BUT LEFT I CANT LIVE IT NO MORE N ALLOW ANYONE TO TREAT ME IN A WAY N GO MAKE A ICE CREAM SUNDAE 5 MIN LATER N OFFER ME SOME...LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED N THAT CALM EVIL SCARY LAUGH...OMG I USE TO THINK THAT HAPPENED IN JUST MOVIES. WELL ITS REAL WHATEVER IT IS EVIL EMPTY COLD N FEELS ALIVE WHEN HE KNOW HES UNDER MY SKIN. TGAT MAKE SENSE. THANKS AGAIN ITS NICE TO HEAR VOICES THAT TRUELY UNDERSTAND. GOD BLESS YOU MAY ALL YOUR BRICK WALLS BE PAPER MACHES.
They're physically and emotionally violent. They're abusers. Having been in therapy for domestic violence (mainly emotional and psychological), all of these abusers are narcissists. They all have the same characteristics, say the same things, do the same things, and sometimes are highly predictable. However, never underestimate that violence is underneath a narc going into narcissistic rage.
I think yes, they are. They don't just come out as such but they are all very capable. Especially when in narc rage, murder death kill is what they think about. A blow to the narc ego will assuredly result in an escalation of aggression moving towards violence
Narcs are aggressive: Sociopaths are violent, that's what I have heard. Very good installment, Scott. But you stopped when you really got going! Thanks for your gift of knowledge. And you look quite fit these days.
Fully agree. Emotional violence is their trademark. "Ripping people apart", as you rightly say. With my ex what I found was hidden fear and cowardice, too, despite the exterior. And a further odd bit of behaviour when he would lapse (supposedly as a joke) into talking and behaving like a lovely, cute baby!
Historically, due to the persecuted or discriminated conditions LGBT people had to endure (and in too many places still do) I guess they were more susceptible to narcs and other sociopathic individuals' whims. I wonder if that's changed much though in more accepting contemporary societies (domestic violence stats make me question this!) Having raised this point, is there any objective Information re victims of narc abuse (ages, genders, socioeconomic etc?) Just asking. Also I've been shocked to find how some leading U.S. NPD Abuse research outfits quite consciously censor examining abuse in anything other than a heterosexual context.
I totally agree that narcissists are primarily violent emotionally. It is a real type of violence, but it is almost totally ignored by our legal and administrative systems. You also mentioned chimpanzees: it is seldom recognized that chimps are omnivores, which means they are also predators, hunting other types of primates. SO my guess is that narcissistic aggression is a primary, predatory, aggression (not a defensive reaction).
Oh yes, they're violent. Besides the ugly looks of rage, mine punched me in the chest as hard as he could because I supposedly startled him. He's kicked me, slapped me for making him angry and punched me in my mouth when I had the audacity to question why he had love texts on his phone from another woman. I'll eventually lose my tooth from the trauma. Why didn't I call the police?? Divorcing him now.
my father was violent physically to me when I was young, now that I am middle aged, it is emotional, mainly by devaluation of everything that I have done or achieved. both of my parents are narcs, I believe that my father is dominated by his wife and takes it out on me to reestablish his wounded pride. thanks for your insight. you have helped me for a few years now.
we seek what is good, strong, and true in ourselves and others; we work with others and look upon what we have built together w/satisfaction and pride. narcs seek weaknesses in others and falsely portray themselves as strong; they singlehandedly divide and conquer, and then look upon what they have destroyed w/satisfaction and pride.
Scott, could you do a video on the narcissist perhaps eventual repercussions? Karma, law etc. Why it seems like they go off into the sunset uscathed but do they really? Could we sort of predict their future because of their pathology? I would really like to know your thoughts/observations on that. Thumbs up if you agree so that he could see the comment!
Belle Fiori, can you please explain how 2 covert narcissists are able to be in a romantic relationship? I left my ex-fiancé narc a year ago. He began dating a narcissist just a few weeks later. They've broken up several times but gotten back together. How can they possibly survive each other?? I thought they would have killed each other by now. I thought narcissists go for Empaths?
Michelle Carpenter they don't. They just found another unsuspecting soon to be victim. Think of it like this; narcs are more interested in what the "picture" looks like than its content. So you seeing your ex "appearing" to be happy, trust me, it's for show bc he thinks it'll hurt you. But he can give less cares about the new supply as you or anyone future supply. It's a fake show. Don't buy it. Narcs a never happy. Trust me, no matter what it looks like. It's fake
For more great information on recovering from narcissistic abuse and gaslighting please visit Activism of Care on UA-cam. Activism of Care is dedicated to helping everyone understand how to recover and love once again.
God probably doesn't exist because yes, they do go off into the sunset unscathed. What's actually going on is that narcissists believe that the nice empaths they target are actually trying to destroy and abuse them. The belief that everyone is trying to destroy them is an unshakable core belief of narcissists. They think that everyone is trying to destroy them and it's only because they're so clever and superior that they destroy the empath that's trying to destroy them first. They leave a trail of severe emotional suffering while they themselves generally exist in a state of nonfeeling and grandiosity. The only way you could rationalize that there's some justice or karma is that sometimes they don't have a backup supply lined up so they experience some emotional suffering from their sadistic superego until they get another supply and that all goes away. Yes, this is a godless world without inherent justice. Definitely a bitter pill to swallow but one you must if you're at all interested in the truth
Scott you nailed this one for me. Its as if you are talking directly to me in private. Its chilling and very descriptive of my narcissistic family members. They are vengeful, violent and vile, self-centered living in their own reality. Rage and violence is their motto if they do not get their way in what they want or think they need. Their age does not matter either. Some elderly individuals are extremely dangerous. They fool people outside their immediate family, acting nice and sweet. If people really knew their true colors, they would be in shock!
Want to see a narcissist get violent? Some ways are to ignore them. Head phones work great! Out smart them in a heated discussion. Try to leave after you expose their abuse. My cars been blocked in the driveway so many times it's ridiculous. But when I lay on the horn he caves in out of embarrassment. Ha, fool. Both of us.
The steady and determined effort to consume another human being's soul is perhaps the ultimate violence that can be done. There are many variations to the narcissist, and yet their pathological envy-- the deep hunger to devour and thus destroy the thing that they can not be (fully human)-- is present throughout the spectrum. Whether it is the obviously narcissistic politician or the covertly, and, in my opinion, far more dangerously narcissistic "guru"; whether it is the belligerent bully-boss or the manipulative sex-kitten; whether it is the self-centered dictator or the self-pitying addict, the mechanism that is always employed is the act of vampirism, or feeding off of the energy drawn from the target. The target is destroyed in two ways...the become the receptacle for the narcissists denied rage, guilt and shame; and whatever talents, attributes, and strengths they have are either consumed directly in the form of attention or assimilated into the NPD's persona through mimicry. You see, a narcissist only has an image, and to maintain that image, a mirror is imperative to it's upkeep. Likewise, since this is essentially a form of necrophilia (sexual interaction with death, as what is seen in various vampire legends) it needs to have a "life blood source" to give it energy. (Thus the mimicry.) I know this sounds kind of out-there but the reality is that narcissism truly is a spiritual issue, and can only really be fully understood spiritual terms. When we approach the problem of narcissism in this way, certain issues such as the high rate of suicide in targets. or the way groups and institutions are often manipulated to partake in the smear campaigns and personal social ruin (ritual sacrifices)that usually ensue at the end of the relationship are much more easily grasped. Ultimately, narcissism can be understood as "self-deification", or, erecting an idol, or false persona, for worship. Historically, idolatry walks hand in hand with ritual human sacrifice. So, spiritually speaking, this is the "violence" that you are sensing. The reason why this violence is hard to define is because it is a spiritual ritual murder, usually done in public, with public participation and often family cooperation to appease the wrath of the narcissist. If one studies cultures that indulge in such things in the physical realm, the correlations with narcissism are quite astounding. So vampires, blood-thirsty demons, and supernatural evil in history, myth and legend can help us to understand the profoundly destructive, and sadly, sometimes deadly (but socially acceptable) violence of the narcissist. And, when you think about it, the reality of being devoured in this way in the presence of former friends and even family who think you deserve it-- what could possibly be worse? At least virgins who had their hearts cut out on alters of stone had the benefit of not being blamed for their predicament.
Exactly!The narc in my life is a middle aged female friend. Shes very lazy and gets others to do everything for her including carrying out acts of revenge. She preys upon younger people, older teens and very young adults for example. She's the "cool mom" who lets all the kids hang out at her house. Feeds them booze and drugs, so they are her little minions. Sickening isn't it?
Excellent video....my soon to be ex-husband-narcissist of nearly 14 years gradually revealed a propensity towards aggressive behavior into probably the 3rd or 4th year of being together. Many question marks wreaked havoc on my brain daily as I struggled to understand his escalating strange behaviors (i.e., putting me down; triangulating me with many friends, family and eventually my only daughter [now age 32] who is not his biological child) as well as his utter lack of respect of any boundaries. He then would try to be intimidating by standing really close pointing his finger in my face while yelling. I always tried to not act like I was scared or intimidated. This description is only a smidgeon of his aggressive actions towards me. Wanted to just share this because I would have never, ever understood at that time the evil of his being.
Great video! So true to what we have seen within our family by several narcissist who seek out to hurt and destroy other family members. They have been able to turn a parent against their own child and grandchildren and against their own siblings. There have also been threats of actual violence against others.
Are they VIOLENT? Whenever they can get away with physical violence they WILL. (In the home). Are they. comorbid with Cluster B? Have you ever seen a Bad Horror Movie where the PLOT made NO SENSE? My childhood Just got triggered. .......
My father told me I was lucky he didn't hit me 🙄. OKAY lol. He was lucky he had a daughter who was so unlike him. Unfortunately for him, he will never have the joy of loving me. Sounds conceited, but I know I am worthy.
Mine gets violent when I stand up for my rights or boundaries, or any such little thing, so I have learned to just walk around him. It's like seeing a snake on the sidewalk. Sure you are walking on the sidewalk, but you don't expect a poisonous snake to move over for you and be cordial, instead, you walk around the snake on the sidewalk and go in the grass or you cross the street to avoid contact with the snake.
I think they let you know they can be violent over there body laguage like you can see betwenn animals for example dogs . Before they go into a fight they bare one's teeth. And we just think we can fix that with love instead of running away.
Narcs are ringmasters of chaos and all things vile. I don't want to think about what happened to all our pets. I'm sure some of them met an untimely and violent end. My ex narc father loved coming up with cruel and unusual punishment for his children that inevitably included violence. His day was incomplete if he didn't get to tear down a woman or children, especially my Mom or sibs or me.
smoothandchunky1 Its interesting that you mention pets. I know first hand that they are capable of killing. My Narcissistic father would kill my pets on purpose while i was asleep or at school. He did this to intimidate me and i stopped having pets because of the guilt.
TheBestDaddy Bishes I am sorry and can understand that. Pets weren't a choice for me growing up. My narc father was king and what he said or wanted was the only thing that happened.
I don't think every narcissist is violent, but the worst ones are. The same counts for other cluster B disorders, like borderline. With borderline it's even worse, because they are much more out of control, unpredictable and unstable. The worst ones of the cluster B are definitely antisocial, which is of course also cluster B. My narcissist father isn't nearly as physically violent as my narcissist / borderline mother, but he can be. He is much more about emotional control.
excellent video, and capped off nicely with the fact that until we wake up to what they are doing, we do not realize.........speaks so profoundly to how we normalize the terror they wreck and discount OUR reality.
Yes very violent! My husband threw a dining chair at me when I was six months pregnant. Had I not moved quickly it would have hit me. I reminded him of that act later and he completely denied it. After the divorce I had his handwriting analyzed and the person wrote in the analysis "This is a person who likes to throw things!" His criticism and emotional abuse, mental cruelty and destructive behavior escalated into physical violence and obstruction. I felt that he was "always doing something" and that I became a shrunken child in his eyes, one who was absolutely deficient and inept. He was particularly violent emotionally in relation to my relationship with the children. They have all pretty much lost confidence in me as their mother.
For sure Scott. As always you are spot on. It happened to me & I witnessed the same narc inflict rage on a mutual friend. Thankfully that mutual friend & I got away from that narcissist.
They can inflict this emotional violence in several ways, and not always direct and obvious. The pity ploy and extreme victim script is one the ageing narcissist will employ as they lose their vitality and ability to control through force and intimidation. I'm experiencing this with my narcissistic mother who moved close to me 5 years ago and is in a nursing home. It is so hard because she is appears so helpless, in a wheelchair with MS, and the guilt I feel is sometimes unbearable, as I strive now to fully break out of this multigeneratinal narcissistic control dynamic. Great video Scott-
The narc who abused me was all into horror films and gore and would laugh at blood as though there wasn't enough. He was not only facinated with death, like you say narcs are in one of your videos, but it also reveals his predesposition to violence and his violent nature. He wanted to watch violent films, where people killed each other or tortured each other in brutal gorey ways and he would manipulate and coerce me into watching them with him. I only agreed because I was afraid of the punishments (psychological and emotional) that would follow if I didn't so technically I was forced. That in itself is violent. Yet, I felt unsafe to such a degree, I didn't realise it was because of him so I always wanted to be with him because I felt unsafe. Today, this makes no sense to me lol I'm glad I realised I felt safer withOUT him.
Scott, you are so close in understanding narcissists that it's sometimes chilling. I am dealing with a "Christian" relative who most people would never guess her true nature since she is so charismatic in her interactions with them. I have experienced her with her mask unveiled. Now her tiny daughter has already taken on her behavior. She tells older kids off by screaming and shaking her finger at them in a threatening way. She is constantly trying to dominate. Definitely a future narcissist in training. Very sad to watch this happening to an innocent child who is a victim to her mother's violent behavior.
Why did you quote the word "Christian"? Christianity has caused quite a big deal of pain and suffering in history...it's not a religion of peace, go read their story book.
Wow! The comment about blocking entrances is so true!! It has happened to me so many times and I internally chalked it up to coinsidence but now see it wasn't, Thank you.
they are cowards afraid for fysical pain crying like a little baby. they want to hurt you mental. never give power to them put your ego and feelings beside. controle yourself no matter what they say or do, dont let them get close.don t argu! never believe one word they say...not there sorry or love or anything
Narc sister has been violent her entire life. In her 50's now, she hit her ex with her car 2x when he caught her breaking into his house. She has multiple restraining orders and lost custody of her daughter when the 14 year old ran from her grasp as she was trying to prevent her from getting out of her car. She had visible bruises and scratches. I'm surprised she's not in jail or that someone bigger hasn't kicked her ass.
My ex bf was in jail for assault in the past. He choked me and has struck me a few times, threatened to kill me more than once. When he raged, it was apparent he was on the verge of violenve every time. He will pick a fight just for a dirty look someone gave him. Honestly, he's very dangerous and belongs in jail indefinitely. He has mentioned that he can kill someone and feel no remorse whatsoever and walk away happy. He's a sicko to say the least. To rid of him, I threatened to call the cops on him (by phone ) and he vacated my place quickly.
Thank you Scott. Interesting that you mention how narcissists block entrances. Before I became aware of what narcissism was, the narcissistic spouse would block entrances in our home. If we arrived at an entrance at the same time facing each other, he would not move. As a result, I found myself allowing him passage first on a regular basis. So wierd. I have learned to work around that now. I avoid doorways where he is.
First narcissist I ever met, we were both thirteen and it was so embarrassing being seen with her out in public after a while because of how much she enjoyed insulting complete strangers who were just passing by. But I stuck around because of the threats that she would spread rumors about me just to make sure I never made any new friends at school. And the idiot excuses like "I only insult you to make you a stronger person lol stop being a doormat." Well the last straw was when she grabbed me and another friend by the hair and forced us into a headbutt. This was out in the open during lunch hour and she laughed giddily like a child. Yeah so she kept her word about the smear campaigns but by that point I didn't even care. I already did most of the isolation myself because I was too afraid of meeting another psycho who went above and beyond to make sure I was as empty, purposeless, and hateful as they were.
Some are not violent but they are threatening, intimidating, physical and if they lose control in the anger b/c their victim won't cooperate with their agenda, they use brute force to make the victim respond. That can lead to violence if/when escalated and the fear it brings makes the victim want to avoid future incidents and therefore go along to get along. It's a pit, a grave, like a living death.
They throw phones across the room and one used to throw me down the stairs every day. He is charming selling his big company and strangers love him. If they only knew!! Crazy monsters that emotionally rip people apart.
Oh no they will come at you with lazor focus if you Trigger them Any mundane thing can trigger them! Like asking them what they want for breakfast and you won't know how to snap them out of it!
Scott I instant messaged you on a great topic, you didn't even look at it. I think you're terrific I love your videos but I think you need to be more interactive to what the people want to hear and kind of touch on some of the topics that people are bringing up. I'm sure you're very busy but bring back the power that you had in your other videos. Thank you so much ✌🏽❤️
sexually violent (sexuaI assault during what was initially consensual turns into sexual abuse /assault. I wanted to add to the types of violence that can occur. Whatever they find that works to keep control of his supply. I am curious how many has experienced this with a narcissist I can't find anything about this
I made this comment and response to somebody else but I thought I'd put it up here as well: I don't think I'll narcissists are inevitably physically or verbally violent. Emotionally and psychologically manipulative? Hell yes. Is it a form of violence? Sure is--it's just not an overt one. I think the narcissist that are more prone towards physical and serious and scary verbal abuse have what we would call "Dark Triad" traits, (as explained by Dr. Craig Malkin) which is a mix of narcissism and a little antisocial personality disorder, machiavellianism in sadism thrown in. I deal with somebody daily who I believe is a covert narcissist, and while this person is emotionally harmful, I've never feared for my physical safety, nor do I think I ever will. On the other hand, I had an uncle who I am positive in hindsight was your typical over narcissist, and he would fly into rages and scream at his wife in her face. Long story short yeah, they're not all alike--the coverts seem to have better impulse control than the overt kind, in my experience. Either that, or they're just much better at hiding their narcissistic rage; ie, it comes out in passive-aggressive ways or hostile moods rather than in your face yelling. I'm honestly not sure which is worse, however! With the former, at least you know what you're dealing with!
I don't think aggressive or violent are the right words. Violence is even being used to describe expressing different opinions and beliefs in some places. I would say adversarial better describes their mindset towards others. So yeah, they will turn violent like you said when they can't get what they want. Even if all they want is to hurt you in some way. I once told a narcissist to 'keep fighting the world'. Made perfect sense then and now. They don't seem to meet in the middle so to speak. Like, I've seen a narc in the kitchen cooking with someone else. They told the other to keep doing things their way. It was interesting how bossy they really are when you sit back and watch objectively. No compromises. It's only right and wrong and "my way is the only way" sort of thinking that pits them against everyone. So you see them unaccepting of others ideas, religions, politics, any choices at all. They wont tolerate others being different or see them as unique and will never cooperate.
Controlling people will use any means to control so its always possible...Narcissist are sadistic and won't always do it themselves but can get other to do it instead. In my case was setting it up to just happen...like sabotaging my car by letting things go and gaslighting me to believe it was fine.
My father and antifa have alot in common. You are not allowed to have differing opinions let alone express them. To this day I always fear violence from him, I am safer with emails. I fear violence from anyone
It's kinda on their terms (like prison or school to a point). You can't stab them in the eye with a butter knife, and you can't always walk a way. So you get things like restraining orders--but they aren't always effective--I don't know how effective they are..anyway
Mine was physically but the one I had before as a partner before I knew what narcissists were was not physically violent so I guess some are some aren’t from what I’ve read. Also I should add the one that was violent was more severe on the narcissistic scale- possibly a malignant narcissist , one therapist thought he was a antisocial personality but she was baseing that on treating me not him so it’s not a legitimate diagnosis of him it was based on all she knew from treating me as her patient. I’m not an expert so this is just anecdotal evidence I’m sharing, I feel and this is just an opinion, if they are regularly physically abusive they probably have antisocial traits as well as being a narcissist or even are full blown antisocial personality disorder.
my overt narc sibling is physically violent or acted out violently with all 3 of their spouses and is about to be sentenced for the last episode and will do hard time most likely. yes, they can be violent and it got worse with - now - middle age
They can be also physical voilent - real explossive overt agressiv even when they are a smal thin person, when they get that narcissistic rage. Me narc ex friend, a smal women are so mad, when I become unmuvabal - I just say no to her needy will to do again sone exosting stuff for her. She get so in rage, scream at me and nearly jumped in me face. Its been so psychopathic - I think she gonna kill me. I been scared bath in this moment I have so enough from her abuse that I think even when you try to kill me I not gonna move. I stand on my place, not make a step back only stare at her. She s been yelling at me nose on nose, right in to me face for 10 minets. And than she turn withaut a word desspier. She s been understanding, that I not give her enything enymore 0 - Zero - no mather what she say or do to me. She leave me and I dont hear or see anythink from her. Its 3 mounts ago - I so glad - not one hoover, no call, no mesage, no mail. Only for one week after this incident - she tried desperetly to contact oll me neibhors and get some information abaut me and smear, bath it dosent work for her, nobady in the house want to be her flayng monkey. She contact totaly stranger.They tell me - its apear so strange, curiose to them. Then I tell them she is a sic and dengerous person and dont let her go in the house. After this week she stop to sneak around. Bath I always lok behind me back expect a atack everytime. So I search a new apartement...
I don't agree with your statement the "victim triggers violence" at 9:48 it never a victim's fault when a person decides to use physical violence on them!! A person trigger is their own trigger regardless of the person making whatever statement. The Narc has choices, ALWAYS!!!how they choose to respond is the Narc responsibility, and implying it's the victim's responsibility is a very unwise; your statement suggests " victim blaming." And at no time is a victim to blame for triggers or physical violence!!! You might want to rethink your statement!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You put words into his mouth. Anything could be a "trigger" to the narc. Certainly the victim can and will trigger violence in the narc at some point - but that doesn't mean the victim is responsible for the narcs actions. He never once said it was the victim's "fault" that the narc was triggered.
I had to go to my parents house yesterday and gave them a bat(PLASTIC). I said when you send me stuff I FEEL like taking a bat to their home. So leave me alone. THE BAT IS A GIFT FOR YOU TO REMEMBER I HAVE FEELINGS.
They are like some crazy robot with immense energy, that just keeps coming and coming and coming. Employing the same tactics over and over and over again. Truly exhausting to be around.
My narc spent 15 years in prison for murder of his first wife. He had me convinced that he was wrongfully convicted. I did some research and found out all the facts in his case. I talked to people very familiar with his wife and they told me to get away from him or he would murder me too. I now feel like I dodge a bullet myself.
Colleen green I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you are away from him. What a gift you gave you yourself. You deserve happiness and safety.
Why would you even bother with that ? Red flag hello ???
Bless..
Violence takes many forms, attacking someones mental health, reputation, financial situation are all forms of violence.
I dated a narcissist after I got out of a marriage with a physically violent man. The narcissist destroyed me so much more than my husband ever could have.
Emotionally violent - yes absolutely. And it's the worst with the covert, 'good-as-gold' types who are emotionally violent with a smile, all while feigning innocence. If you call them out on it, they pretend they don't know what you are talking about and tell you how worried they are about you because you seem to be having 'emotional problems' - awful, awful human beings.
+Fugue State That's exactly what my narcissistic brother has said to me in the past. Some little thing will trigger him and he becomes angry and combative. Then he'll go into a tirade about how I'm the one with the problem, and I need serious psychological help. To what you said in your comment, he even used the exact language you mentioned by telling me (or should I say, yelled at me), "I'm concerned about you! You need help! Go get help!!!" These people are rotten eggs.
Yup. We're psychologically abused and tortured by a person with no empathy and then are told by them we have "emotional problems" because of it. What I still don't fully get is whether or not they get that they are the abuser or whether their reaction is instinctual and they're that delusional. Maybe it depends on the narc. I think my most recent narc was fully conscious of it but my last one, I'm not so sure. One of the best weapons is to remain as calm as possible in their presence no matter what they say/do so it's hard for them to point to your being "crazy" and easier for you to ask them "if they're ok" during their childish rages.
Fugue State I love your idea of asking them if they're okay when they're raging. It puts the spotlight on them. I actually recently did this with my brother. He gave me an attitude for no particular reason, and I asked why he was getting mad. Of course, he denied it, but he just got into his car and drove away. Good riddance!
For more great information on recovering from narcissistic abuse and gaslighting please visit Activism of Care on UA-cam. Activism of Care is dedicated to helping everyone understand how to recover and love once again.
My ex narc bf became threatening after I broke up. He refused to leave. Thankfully my friends stayed over until I finally got the police to ask him to leave and he did. Verbal abuse was considered domestic violence in the state I was in. I could have had him arrested, but feared revenge. I was very concerned for my safety. If you are with a narc, run for your life. Violent or not, they want you dead or destroyed. Very dangerous entities.
Narcs are rarely violent. You probably were dealing with a sociopath narc. Every sociopath is narcissistic, but not every narc is sociopathic
Intimidation is there tactic!
sabrina bartlett
100% agree. By any means necessary!
A violent Narcissist could be someone that also has Antisocial Personality Disorder coupled with narcissism. This would make them a Sociopath or Psycopath.
Good video.
Not everybody with Antisocial Personality Disorder is violent though...A narcissist's physical violence happens often when their ego has been hurt very much and their charm isn't going to make themselves feel better.
Joseph Gallant But that is a Narcissist. A Psycopath has a means to their violence.
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend how right you are !
Yeah, I agree that the more violent or verbally and physically aggressive narcissists probably also have antisocial traits. For instance, I'm pretty sure I'm dealing with a covert. This person is very passive aggressive and chronically emotionally invalidating, and though the person can be verbally aggressive (insulting, condescending, sarcastic, hurtful) on occasion when emotions run high, I have never felt physically threatened nor do I think I ever will be. The more introverted or covert types I don't think I have a tendency toward overt verbal or physical abuse, unless they also have what are known as "dark Triad" traits.
Subtle and sometimes perhaps not that subtle (once you start learning about this stuff it's not very subtle after a while ;) ) emotional and psychological violence--absolutely--but in my case this is always done with total plausible deniability, and raging at me or physically harming me
wouldn't give him that cover.
You are right on. I didn't know I was married to a narcissist. He became violent, so I left him. Almost 3 years narc-free and feeling stronger every day. Thank you for all your help
After 17 years with my ex, and 4 glasses left of a set that I got after my Mother's death, ashtrays, coffee mugs, all broken from him smashing them against the wall, which left holes, his final physical act of violence came at the end of December 2016, where he tried to break my arm, and strangle me! He still sits in jail awaiting trial. Even IN jail, he must have thought he could manipulate the "no contact" order, because he called me, and send a letter addressed to "the cat", and one to my friend who doesn't even live here! YES..they can be violent!! I am FREE now, I escaped with my LIFE!!
jofish420
hi I just wanted to say I also have had him in jail with a no contact. I would recieve letters also with a different first name used not mine. 1 of my friends received letter too. cut story short I ONLY wish I never looked back the manipulation worked AGAIN I actually saved him from going prison. I was once told never to go back because it will be worse and to be quite honest it's hell the worst I've ever experienced with him six years now it's been and more intense emotional pain confusion shock so much rage and anger in me with myself I'm not going to sit here and play victim though because I'm not a victim this was my choice and I'm going to never look back this time one last thing the childlike Behavior exactly what you said it's weird isn't it even act like that in front of his own mom when he throws his raging fits it's such a turn-off mines I'll past MMA fighter big strong guy and when you see him acting like this little kid throwing a fit literally his voice changes and when he sees me losing my mind from it I'm starting to get angry and rage he smiles it's just disgusting I can't confront him about lies or cheating that's when he becomes demonic his face honestly change you could see the rage in his eyes voice change. very jealous he is I think he has delusional disorder with it he always accuses me of the weirdest stuff every job he has I'm sleeping with the boss now his brother but I don't think it's an act because he even gets crazy with his mom about it because he thinks his mom and dad are sneaking me over there when he's at work I could go on but I don't know ways to anymore of your time I'm happy though you found life again God bless you
Sherri Sentieri wow. This is intense. I hope you are working seriously on an escape plan. If you haven't already, please check out Kim Wilson here on YT. She has had almost parallel experiences with her demon entity. Take care🌺✝️🌺
I hope that you escape!! It's the only way! Everything that you described, is what I lived through too! GET OUT, PLEASE! The last night for me when he tried to kill me, I saw that evil face too!! It's really scary!! GET OUT! There are shelters that will help you!
E L0VE
hi this is Sherri. Ty very much for taking time to reply to my message. AMAZING my mom always said the "LORD WORKS in mysterious ways". within 1 hour of this message that DEMONIC FACE VOICE JUST PURE EVIL was nose to nose with me this EMPTY SHELL. IN my head I would pray while looking at him and say in my head pray I REBUKE U ALL EVIL AROUND ME I AM A CHILD OF GODS AND I RUBUKE U IN THE NAME OF JESUS. My Faith is not 100% many questions about GOD and I don't go church or study bible often enuff, but this is when he would Freaks out worst is when I repeated this prayer in name of JESUS And BELIEVED JESUS WOULD PROTECT ME. he would start to punch himself in head screaming n scratch himself throw crap BUT NOT COME NEAR ME. YES I ACTUALLY SOMEWAY LEFT I KNEW THAT THING IS NOT HUMAN ITS OF EVIL. I Should of went to police, but my nerves shook up n ENERGY DRAINED weak n went to bed. This is the hardest part now stay no contact. leaving in itself is exhausting MENTALLY N u need be safe Always!! u fear unknown now n hurt emotionally now worse and throw in all your why N HOW COULD U THOUGHTS N questions u NEVER get answers to😓yes silence speaks TRUTH. I hate crying i know what I'm facing I learned because i no longer have distractions of him the "Triggers of very painful memories" I forgot of COME FORTH. THE MANY WAYS HE HURT ME. I learned much. THANK YOU I HEARD YOUR VOICE LAST NIGHT AFTER READING UR MESSAGE I DID LEAVE. GOD BLESS YOU,
Sherri
jofish420 ,
Hi thus is Sherri. Thank you very much for your reply. see my message above yours I replied to. YES I MANAGED to go last night I threatened call cops if didn't let go N phone in hand. SINCE HE HAS A WARRENT OUT FROM HIS PROBATION OFFICER for obscounding HE don't want cops around. just scary leaving literally walk to car nerves shot hoping he don't run out by me. If I can stay away no contact n Survive its that feeling the unknown. when he was jail I knew n feels secure but out jail n no contact u always use caution n feel like there watch u or someone for them or u get letter on car window etc. I'm utilizing police again and no contact if they catch him. I'm going to groups n therapy now hope help me stay strong mentally...pathetic how a 1 man or women can try to take your heart mind n worse ur SOUL I know if I don't go He WILL kill me mentally physically (health), emotionally and who knows murder me. I can't overlook it. I never felt this way before with anyone in my 47 years alive. IM HAPPY FOR YOU AND BREAKING FREE HURTS BUT IT HEALS. AND ITS NICE U SHARED UR EXPERIENCE IN THIS COMMENT TO ALL. YOU GAVE ME CONFIRMATION IT WONT STOP. I LEFT LAST NIGHT CRAZY BUT LEFT I CANT LIVE IT NO MORE N ALLOW ANYONE TO TREAT ME IN A WAY N GO MAKE A ICE CREAM SUNDAE 5 MIN LATER N OFFER ME SOME...LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED N THAT CALM EVIL SCARY LAUGH...OMG I USE TO THINK THAT HAPPENED IN JUST MOVIES. WELL ITS REAL WHATEVER IT IS EVIL EMPTY COLD N FEELS ALIVE WHEN HE KNOW HES UNDER MY SKIN. TGAT MAKE SENSE. THANKS AGAIN ITS NICE TO HEAR VOICES THAT TRUELY UNDERSTAND. GOD BLESS YOU MAY ALL YOUR BRICK WALLS BE PAPER MACHES.
They're physically and emotionally violent. They're abusers. Having been in therapy for domestic violence (mainly emotional and psychological), all of these abusers are narcissists. They all have the same characteristics, say the same things, do the same things, and sometimes are highly predictable. However, never underestimate that violence is underneath a narc going into narcissistic rage.
I think yes, they are. They don't just come out as such but they are all very capable. Especially when in narc rage, murder death kill is what they think about. A blow to the narc ego will assuredly result in an escalation of aggression moving towards violence
The narcissists in my family have created a wake of disaster with hundreds of people over the decades....
Narcs are aggressive: Sociopaths are violent, that's what I have heard. Very good installment, Scott. But you stopped when you really got going! Thanks for your gift of knowledge. And you look quite fit these days.
They are bullies! I've experienced it
Fully agree. Emotional violence is their trademark. "Ripping people apart", as you rightly say. With my ex what I found was hidden fear and cowardice, too, despite the exterior. And a further odd bit of behaviour when he would lapse (supposedly as a joke) into talking and behaving like a lovely, cute baby!
EQUALITYRIGHTSGROUP GGR this is so familiar to me.
EQUALITYRIGHTSGROUP GGR well peace requirement is bravary .
Historically, due to the persecuted or discriminated conditions LGBT people had to endure (and in too many places still do) I guess they were more susceptible to narcs and other sociopathic individuals' whims. I wonder if that's changed much though in more accepting contemporary societies (domestic violence stats make me question this!) Having raised this point, is there any objective Information re victims of narc abuse (ages, genders, socioeconomic etc?) Just asking. Also I've been shocked to find how some leading U.S. NPD Abuse research outfits quite consciously censor examining abuse in anything other than a heterosexual context.
I totally agree that narcissists are primarily violent emotionally. It is a real type of violence, but it is almost totally ignored by our legal and administrative systems. You also mentioned chimpanzees: it is seldom recognized that chimps are omnivores, which means they are also predators, hunting other types of primates. SO my guess is that narcissistic aggression is a primary, predatory, aggression (not a defensive reaction).
Oh yes, they're violent. Besides the ugly looks of rage, mine punched me in the chest as hard as he could because I supposedly startled him. He's kicked me, slapped me for making him angry and punched me in my mouth when I had the audacity to question why he had love texts on his phone from another woman. I'll eventually lose my tooth from the trauma. Why didn't I call the police?? Divorcing him now.
they are violent with our souls
my father was violent physically to me when I was young, now that I am middle aged, it is emotional, mainly by devaluation of everything that I have done or achieved. both of my parents are narcs, I believe that my father is dominated by his wife and takes it out on me to reestablish his wounded pride. thanks for your insight. you have helped me for a few years now.
we seek what is good, strong, and true in ourselves and others; we work with others and look upon what we have built together w/satisfaction and pride.
narcs seek weaknesses in others and falsely portray themselves as strong; they singlehandedly divide and conquer, and then look upon what they have destroyed w/satisfaction and pride.
Scott, could you do a video on the narcissist perhaps eventual repercussions? Karma, law etc. Why it seems like they go off into the sunset uscathed but do they really? Could we sort of predict their future because of their pathology? I would really like to know your thoughts/observations on that. Thumbs up if you agree so that he could see the comment!
Belle Fiori, can you please explain how 2 covert narcissists are able to be in a romantic relationship? I left my ex-fiancé narc a year ago. He began dating a narcissist just a few weeks later. They've broken up several times but gotten back together. How can they possibly survive each other?? I thought they would have killed each other by now. I thought narcissists go for Empaths?
Michelle Carpenter they don't. They just found another unsuspecting soon to be victim. Think of it like this; narcs are more interested in what the "picture" looks like than its content. So you seeing your ex "appearing" to be happy, trust me, it's for show bc he thinks it'll hurt you. But he can give less cares about the new supply as you or anyone future supply. It's a fake show. Don't buy it. Narcs a never happy. Trust me, no matter what it looks like. It's fake
Megan Anderly they usually compete against each other, both prolly do dupers delight behind each other's back, it's all bs
For more great information on recovering from narcissistic abuse and gaslighting please visit Activism of Care on UA-cam. Activism of Care is dedicated to helping everyone understand how to recover and love once again.
God probably doesn't exist because yes, they do go off into the sunset unscathed. What's actually going on is that narcissists believe that the nice empaths they target are actually trying to destroy and abuse them. The belief that everyone is trying to destroy them is an unshakable core belief of narcissists. They think that everyone is trying to destroy them and it's only because they're so clever and superior that they destroy the empath that's trying to destroy them first. They leave a trail of severe emotional suffering while they themselves generally exist in a state of nonfeeling and grandiosity. The only way you could rationalize that there's some justice or karma is that sometimes they don't have a backup supply lined up so they experience some emotional suffering from their sadistic superego until they get another supply and that all goes away. Yes, this is a godless world without inherent justice. Definitely a bitter pill to swallow but one you must if you're at all interested in the truth
Yes, they are. The one I'm stuck with thought it would be funny to pretend to spin scissors in my face, then screamed at me for overreacting to it
Scott you nailed this one for me. Its as if you are talking directly to me in private. Its chilling and very descriptive of my narcissistic family members. They are vengeful, violent and vile, self-centered living in their own reality. Rage and violence is their motto if they do not get their way in what they want or think they need. Their age does not matter either. Some elderly individuals are extremely dangerous. They fool people outside their immediate family, acting nice and sweet. If people really knew their true colors, they would be in shock!
Want to see a narcissist get violent? Some ways are to ignore them. Head phones work great! Out smart them in a heated discussion. Try to leave after you expose their abuse. My cars been blocked in the driveway so many times it's ridiculous. But when I lay on the horn he caves in out of embarrassment. Ha, fool. Both of us.
everything is war with them
The steady and determined effort to consume another human being's soul is perhaps the ultimate violence that can be done. There are many variations to the narcissist, and yet their pathological envy-- the deep hunger to devour and thus destroy the thing that they can not be (fully human)-- is present throughout the spectrum. Whether it is the obviously narcissistic politician or the covertly, and, in my opinion, far more dangerously narcissistic "guru"; whether it is the belligerent bully-boss or the manipulative sex-kitten; whether it is the self-centered dictator or the self-pitying addict, the mechanism that is always employed is the act of vampirism, or feeding off of the energy drawn from the target. The target is destroyed in two ways...the become the receptacle for the narcissists denied rage, guilt and shame; and whatever talents, attributes, and strengths they have are either consumed directly in the form of attention or assimilated into the NPD's persona through mimicry.
You see, a narcissist only has an image, and to maintain that image, a mirror is imperative to it's upkeep. Likewise, since this is essentially a form of necrophilia (sexual interaction with death, as what is seen in various vampire legends) it needs to have a "life blood source" to give it energy. (Thus the mimicry.) I know this sounds kind of out-there but the reality is that narcissism truly is a spiritual issue, and can only really be fully understood spiritual terms. When we approach the problem of narcissism in this way, certain issues such as the high rate of suicide in targets. or the way groups and institutions are often manipulated to partake in the smear campaigns and personal social ruin (ritual sacrifices)that usually ensue at the end of the relationship are much more easily grasped.
Ultimately, narcissism can be understood as "self-deification", or, erecting an idol, or false persona, for worship. Historically, idolatry walks hand in hand with ritual human sacrifice. So, spiritually speaking, this is the "violence" that you are sensing. The reason why this violence is hard to define is because it is a spiritual ritual murder, usually done in public, with public participation and often family cooperation to appease the wrath of the narcissist. If one studies cultures that indulge in such things in the physical realm, the correlations with narcissism are quite astounding. So vampires, blood-thirsty demons, and supernatural evil in history, myth and legend can help us to understand the profoundly destructive, and sadly, sometimes deadly (but socially acceptable) violence of the narcissist.
And, when you think about it, the reality of being devoured in this way in the presence of former friends and even family who think you deserve it-- what could possibly be worse? At least virgins who had their hearts cut out on alters of stone had the benefit of not being blamed for their predicament.
Yep they are Violent in their behavior, & sometimes they convince someone else, to do their bidding too you. Take care. ❤🙂🐕
Exactly!The narc in my life is a middle aged female friend. Shes very lazy and gets others to do everything for her including carrying out acts of revenge. She preys upon younger people, older teens and very young adults for example. She's the "cool mom" who lets all the kids hang out at her house. Feeds them booze and drugs, so they are her little minions. Sickening isn't it?
Jordan Wright She sounds toxic. If I were you I'd get the hell away from her as soon as I possibly could. Take care. ❤🙂🐶
Excellent video....my soon to be ex-husband-narcissist of nearly 14 years gradually revealed a propensity towards aggressive behavior into probably the 3rd or 4th year of being together. Many question marks wreaked havoc on my brain daily as I struggled to understand his escalating strange behaviors (i.e., putting me down; triangulating me with many friends, family and eventually my only daughter [now age 32] who is not his biological child) as well as his utter lack of respect of any boundaries. He then would try to be intimidating by standing really close pointing his finger in my face while yelling. I always tried to not act like I was scared or intimidated. This description is only a smidgeon of his aggressive actions towards me. Wanted to just share this because I would have never, ever understood at that time the evil of his being.
Great video! So true to what we have seen within our family by several narcissist who seek out to hurt and destroy other family members. They have been able to turn a parent against their own child and grandchildren and against their own siblings. There have also been threats of actual violence against others.
Are they VIOLENT? Whenever they can get away with physical violence they WILL. (In the home). Are they. comorbid with Cluster B? Have you ever seen a Bad Horror Movie where the PLOT made NO SENSE? My childhood Just got triggered. .......
My father told me I was lucky he didn't hit me 🙄. OKAY lol. He was lucky he had a daughter who was so unlike him. Unfortunately for him, he will never have the joy of loving me. Sounds conceited, but I know I am worthy.
Not conceited at all. You deserve a pat on the back for keeping your self esteem in tact in the face of hell.
Mine gets violent when I stand up for my rights or boundaries, or any such little thing, so I have learned to just walk around him. It's like seeing a snake on the sidewalk. Sure you are walking on the sidewalk, but you don't expect a poisonous snake to move over for you and be cordial, instead, you walk around the snake on the sidewalk and go in the grass or you cross the street to avoid contact with the snake.
Roxann Huffman are you still with him?
I think they let you know they can be violent over there body laguage like you can see betwenn animals for example dogs . Before they go into a fight they bare one's teeth. And we just think we can fix that with love instead of running away.
Narcs are ringmasters of chaos and all things vile. I don't want to think about what happened to all our pets.
I'm sure some of them met an untimely and violent end.
My ex narc father loved coming up with cruel and unusual punishment for his children that inevitably included violence.
His day was incomplete if he didn't get to tear down a woman or children, especially my Mom or sibs or me.
smoothandchunky1
Its interesting that you mention pets. I know first hand that they are capable of killing. My Narcissistic father would kill my pets on purpose while i was asleep or at school. He did this to intimidate me and i stopped having pets because of the guilt.
TheBestDaddy Bishes I am sorry and can understand that. Pets weren't a choice for me growing up. My narc father was king and what he said or wanted was the only thing that happened.
All Narcissists I've known were very violent in every way especially physically.
I don't think every narcissist is violent, but the worst ones are. The same counts for other cluster B disorders, like borderline. With borderline it's even worse, because they are much more out of control, unpredictable and unstable. The worst ones of the cluster B are definitely antisocial, which is of course also cluster B. My narcissist father isn't nearly as physically violent as my narcissist / borderline mother, but he can be. He is much more about emotional control.
excellent video, and capped off nicely with the fact that until we wake up to what they are doing, we do not realize.........speaks so profoundly to how we normalize the terror they wreck and discount OUR reality.
Yes very violent! My husband threw a dining chair at me when I was six months pregnant. Had I not moved quickly it would have hit me. I reminded him of that act later and he completely denied it. After the divorce I had his handwriting analyzed and the person wrote in the analysis "This is a person who likes to throw things!"
His criticism and emotional abuse, mental cruelty and destructive behavior escalated into physical violence and obstruction. I felt that he was "always doing something" and that I became a shrunken child in his eyes, one who was absolutely deficient and inept. He was particularly violent emotionally in relation to my relationship with the children. They have all pretty much lost confidence in me as their mother.
For sure Scott. As always you are spot on. It happened to me & I witnessed the same narc inflict rage on a mutual friend. Thankfully that mutual friend & I got away from that narcissist.
They can inflict this emotional violence in several ways, and not always direct and obvious. The pity ploy and extreme victim script is one the ageing narcissist will employ as they lose their vitality and ability to control through force and intimidation. I'm experiencing this with my narcissistic mother who moved close to me 5 years ago and is in a nursing home. It is so hard because she is appears so helpless, in a wheelchair with MS, and the guilt I feel is sometimes unbearable, as I strive now to fully break out of this multigeneratinal narcissistic control dynamic. Great video Scott-
The narc who abused me was all into horror films and gore and would laugh at blood as though there wasn't enough. He was not only facinated with death, like you say narcs are in one of your videos, but it also reveals his predesposition to violence and his violent nature. He wanted to watch violent films, where people killed each other or tortured each other in brutal gorey ways and he would manipulate and coerce me into watching them with him. I only agreed because I was afraid of the punishments (psychological and emotional) that would follow if I didn't so technically I was forced. That in itself is violent. Yet, I felt unsafe to such a degree, I didn't realise it was because of him so I always wanted to be with him because I felt unsafe. Today, this makes no sense to me lol I'm glad I realised I felt safer withOUT him.
Viktorija Arsic I hear ya!
Scott, you are so close in understanding narcissists that it's sometimes chilling. I am dealing with a "Christian" relative who most people would never guess her true nature since she is so charismatic in her interactions with them. I have experienced her with her mask unveiled. Now her tiny daughter has already taken on her behavior. She tells older kids off by screaming and shaking her finger at them in a threatening way. She is constantly trying to dominate. Definitely a future narcissist in training. Very sad to watch this happening to an innocent child who is a victim to her mother's violent behavior.
Why did you quote the word "Christian"? Christianity has caused quite a big deal of pain and suffering in history...it's not a religion of peace, go read their story book.
My reasoning has become primal... due to my experiences and no desire for bullshit anymore... tired of nonsense of the system we live under.
Their baseline is that of anger, but they civet it up.
Solid video.
Wow! The comment about blocking entrances is so true!! It has happened to me so many times and I internally chalked it up to coinsidence but now see it wasn't, Thank you.
Absolutely. They try to control doors, hallways, small spaces, and stairs.
they are cowards afraid for fysical pain crying like a little baby. they want to hurt you mental. never give power to them put your ego and feelings beside. controle yourself no matter what they say or do, dont let them get close.don t argu! never believe one word they say...not there sorry or love or anything
You really have a keen sense of this disorder, particularly the uncanny aspects of it.
Narc sister has been violent her entire life. In her 50's now, she hit her ex with her car 2x when he caught her breaking into his house.
She has multiple restraining orders and lost custody of her daughter when the 14 year old ran from her grasp as she was trying to prevent her from getting out of her car.
She had visible bruises and scratches.
I'm surprised she's not in jail or that someone bigger hasn't kicked her ass.
They can make you feel shaken physically, after only a verbal or linguistic (body language too) assault.
My ex bf was in jail for assault in the past. He choked me and has struck me a few times, threatened to kill me more than once. When he raged, it was apparent he was on the verge of violenve every time. He will pick a fight just for a dirty look someone gave him. Honestly, he's very dangerous and belongs in jail indefinitely. He has mentioned that he can kill someone and feel no remorse whatsoever and walk away happy. He's a sicko to say the least. To rid of him, I threatened to call the cops on him (by phone ) and he vacated my place quickly.
Good. I hope he's in jail by now or will be very soon.
yes....many of them are.
Thank you Scott. Interesting that you mention how narcissists block entrances. Before I became aware of what narcissism was, the narcissistic spouse would block entrances in our home. If we arrived at an entrance at the same time facing each other, he would not move. As a result, I found myself allowing him passage first on a regular basis. So wierd. I have learned to work around that now. I avoid doorways where he is.
Yeah you're right on everything mentioned. LOts of overlap.
First narcissist I ever met, we were both thirteen and it was so embarrassing being seen with her out in public after a while because of how much she enjoyed insulting complete strangers who were just passing by. But I stuck around because of the threats that she would spread rumors about me just to make sure I never made any new friends at school. And the idiot excuses like "I only insult you to make you a stronger person lol stop being a doormat." Well the last straw was when she grabbed me and another friend by the hair and forced us into a headbutt. This was out in the open during lunch hour and she laughed giddily like a child. Yeah so she kept her word about the smear campaigns but by that point I didn't even care. I already did most of the isolation myself because I was too afraid of meeting another psycho who went above and beyond to make sure I was as empty, purposeless, and hateful as they were.
Thank you, I needed this message today
all of your videos have been of value to me,some like this one have been priceless,thanks.
Some are not violent but they are threatening, intimidating, physical and if they lose control in the anger b/c their victim won't cooperate with their agenda, they use brute force to make the victim respond. That can lead to violence if/when escalated and the fear it brings makes the victim want to avoid future incidents and therefore go along to get along. It's a pit, a grave, like a living death.
True! My ex narc even used to cut himself with scissors
They throw phones across the room and one used to throw me down the stairs every day. He is charming selling his big company and strangers love him. If they only knew!! Crazy monsters that emotionally rip people apart.
If you piss anyone off of course they'll get violent in some situations. ._.
Oh no they will come at you with lazor focus if you Trigger them Any mundane thing can trigger them! Like asking them what they want for breakfast and you won't know how to snap them out of it!
Great vids, thanks for the info...
Scott I instant messaged you on a great topic, you didn't even look at it. I think you're terrific I love your videos but I think you need to be more interactive to what the people want to hear and kind of touch on some of the topics that people are bringing up. I'm sure you're very busy but bring back the power that you had in your other videos. Thank you so much ✌🏽❤️
I think narcissist would commit more violence if they knew they could get away with it.
aggression , an insidious disease of development .
Love you videos BTW!!!
Playing the victim is violent.
Hey! You okay? Did something happen? It kinda feels like you're not okay. Anyway, thanks for sharing. Be well. God bless.
sexually violent (sexuaI assault during what was initially consensual turns into sexual abuse /assault. I wanted to add to the types of violence that can occur. Whatever they find that works to keep control of his supply. I am curious how many has experienced this with a narcissist I can't find anything about this
I made this comment and response to somebody else but I thought I'd put it up here as well: I don't think I'll narcissists are inevitably physically or verbally violent. Emotionally and psychologically manipulative? Hell yes. Is it a form of violence? Sure is--it's just not an overt one. I think the narcissist that are more prone towards physical and serious and scary verbal abuse have what we would call "Dark Triad" traits, (as explained by Dr. Craig Malkin) which is a mix of narcissism and a little antisocial personality disorder, machiavellianism in sadism thrown in. I deal with somebody daily who I believe is a covert narcissist, and while this person is emotionally harmful, I've never feared for my physical safety, nor do I think I ever will.
On the other hand, I had an uncle who I am positive in hindsight was your typical over narcissist, and he would fly into rages and scream at his wife in her face.
Long story short yeah, they're not all alike--the coverts seem to have better impulse control than the overt kind, in my experience. Either that, or they're just much better at hiding their narcissistic rage; ie, it comes out in passive-aggressive ways or hostile moods rather than in your face yelling. I'm honestly not sure which is worse, however! With the former, at least you know what you're dealing with!
oh man. there is no me before becuase I was raised by them. :(
I don't think aggressive or violent are the right words. Violence is even being used to describe expressing different opinions and beliefs in some places. I would say adversarial better describes their mindset towards others. So yeah, they will turn violent like you said when they can't get what they want. Even if all they want is to hurt you in some way. I once told a narcissist to 'keep fighting the world'. Made perfect sense then and now. They don't seem to meet in the middle so to speak. Like, I've seen a narc in the kitchen cooking with someone else. They told the other to keep doing things their way. It was interesting how bossy they really are when you sit back and watch objectively. No compromises. It's only right and wrong and "my way is the only way" sort of thinking that pits them against everyone. So you see them unaccepting of others ideas, religions, politics, any choices at all. They wont tolerate others being different or see them as unique and will never cooperate.
Controlling people will use any means to control so its always possible...Narcissist are sadistic and won't always do it themselves but can get other to do it instead. In my case was setting it up to just happen...like sabotaging my car by letting things go and gaslighting me to believe it was fine.
My father and antifa have alot in common.
You are not allowed to have differing opinions let alone express them.
To this day I always fear violence from him, I am safer with emails.
I fear violence from anyone
They require forced association (or the emulation of it) to function socially
They're not unique in that respect, but it is how violent people are--and they are too
It's kinda on their terms (like prison or school to a point). You can't stab them in the eye with a butter knife, and you can't always walk a way. So you get things like restraining orders--but they aren't always effective--I don't know how effective they are..anyway
My narc was and is violent.
I get what you're trying to do here. I get it. But I am reaching a point of extreme rage and it's not okay dude
Mine was physically but the one I had before as a partner before I knew what narcissists were was not physically violent so I guess some are some aren’t from what I’ve read. Also I should add the one that was violent was more severe on the narcissistic scale- possibly a malignant narcissist , one therapist thought he was a antisocial personality but she was baseing that on treating me not him so it’s not a legitimate diagnosis of him it was based on all she knew from treating me as her patient. I’m not an expert so this is just anecdotal evidence I’m sharing, I feel and this is just an opinion, if they are regularly physically abusive they probably have antisocial traits as well as being a narcissist or even are full blown antisocial personality disorder.
Invisible warfare
It's unusual yet not uncommon.
my overt narc sibling is physically violent or acted out violently with all 3 of their spouses and is about to be sentenced for the last episode and will do hard time most likely. yes, they can be violent and it got worse with - now - middle age
They can be also physical voilent - real explossive overt agressiv even when they are a smal thin person, when they get that narcissistic rage.
Me narc ex friend, a smal women are so mad, when I become unmuvabal - I just say no to her needy will to do again sone exosting stuff for her. She get so in rage, scream at me and nearly jumped in me face.
Its been so psychopathic - I think she gonna kill me. I been scared bath in this moment I have so enough from her abuse that I think even when you try to kill me I not gonna move. I stand on my place, not make a step back only stare at her. She s been yelling at me nose on nose, right in to me face for 10 minets. And than she turn withaut a word desspier.
She s been understanding, that I not give her enything enymore 0 - Zero - no mather what she say or do to me.
She leave me and I dont hear or see anythink from her. Its 3 mounts ago - I so glad - not one hoover, no call, no mesage, no mail.
Only for one week after this incident - she tried desperetly to contact oll me neibhors and get some information abaut me and smear, bath it dosent work for her, nobady in the house want to be her flayng monkey. She contact totaly stranger.They tell me - its apear so strange, curiose to them. Then I tell them she is a sic and dengerous person and dont let her go in the house. After this week she stop to sneak around.
Bath I always lok behind me back expect a atack everytime.
So I search a new apartement...
Scott, would you be willing to give us some real life examples in your videos? It would help me to be able to picture the behavior. Sent
Timing their victims up with duct tape and being held against their will.
my NAC wasn't violent physically
I don't agree with your statement the "victim triggers violence" at 9:48 it never a victim's fault when a person decides to use physical violence on them!! A person trigger is their own trigger regardless of the person making whatever statement. The Narc has choices, ALWAYS!!!how they choose to respond is the Narc responsibility, and implying it's the victim's responsibility is a very unwise; your statement suggests " victim blaming." And at no time is a victim to blame for triggers or physical violence!!! You might want to rethink your statement!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You put words into his mouth. Anything could be a "trigger" to the narc. Certainly the victim can and will trigger violence in the narc at some point - but that doesn't mean the victim is responsible for the narcs actions. He never once said it was the victim's "fault" that the narc was triggered.
You accidentally referred to them as animals, that says something.
invert to covert
I had to go to my parents house yesterday and gave them a bat(PLASTIC). I said when you send me stuff I FEEL like taking a bat to their home. So leave me alone. THE BAT IS A GIFT FOR YOU TO REMEMBER I HAVE FEELINGS.
Almost made a year with no contact. Let's see what happens!