5:33 "It doesn't make sense to compare your twenty-four hours to someone's 1-sec photo from their highlight reel of their day" really got to me, I needed to hear this
If you're reading this...This is a positive sign. You're right where you need to be. You are beautiful. You are brilliant. You are enough. May all your worries wash away and you find pockets of peace throughout your day 💗 Dr. Liz
For me, I've definitely found it is easier to give others a break over myself. However, I've noticed that the kinder I am to myself, the kinder I've become to others. Weird, right?
The most difficult time to like yourself is when you fail to get what you want. What good are you to yourself if you can't get what you want? Well, it is okay to not be good enough to get what you want, because you aren't on this planet to get what you want. You're here to learn what you need. Not getting what you want can be one of the best learning experiences you'll ever have.
absolutely. and that's all the more reason why we should love & cheer for ourselves when things don't end up panning out as we imagined. I'd like to believe that the universe is constantly showing / sharing lessons with us until we learn and internalize them 😌✨
As some who was a people pleaser, low self-esteem, and depressed, you hit every spot that took years to learn and overcome. I’m still struggling from time to time. It’s content like yours that reminds me of what my value truly is. So thank you. Keep up the good work.
This is very random but I used to edit my pictures before posting on instagram A LOT (like I'd spend hours on one pic because because I wanted it to look pretty but not heavily edited which is stupid because i did edit heavily lol) I used to think i was very non photogenic. And i was. But not because I was ugly but because in pictures i just looked very stiff and strange because I was constantly trying to pose nicely and keep all the angles nice and "just like that instagram girl who looks perfect in pictures". But I realized that I don't wanna look back on my feed and see a bunch of wannabe pics, trying too hard to look pretty. I want to see moments. And happiness and authenticity. So now i just take a lot of goofy and candid pics, and don't edit myself at all and just try to find the perfect filter that captures the vibe and my mood at that time perfectly. It's so much nicer to look back on my feed now. Because I don't see altered images of myself that make me wanna cringe and puke but I see moments that I cherish. So yeah :)
Thank you! You're so wise. This is vast wisdom and self-control. I'm taking a break from social media right now, and I'm not sure if I want to go back there. I'll meditate on it during this break, but if I'm going to use IG again, I'll follow this advice for sure. Thank you again. May your life be full of health, love and happiness. ❤
i have been more conscious about the things I consume and I realize that even though I may not realize it, I ACTUALLY AM AFFECTED BY LIKE THE POSTS I SEE ON INSTAGRAM!!!
About being jealous of someone who is “better” than us, I learned a way to get rid of overjealousy. You should pray for the person that you jealous for their particular quality that makes you jealous to increase! If you’re jealous about their success, pray for them to be more successful, if it is about the beauty, pray for them to be more beautiful. (actually being jealous is normal, but it may harm us if it is too much as you talked about it Rowena). It is an islamic advice and it is sooo hard to do. But I tried it and it works! Maybe it’ll work for other people in here... Love your content as always Rowena, you’re the best
I deleted my Twitter and Instagram because I felt like it was spreading so much negativity in my life.now it's been 3weeks , I hope I can continue this. And I have been feeling really good.
Omg I deleted Twitter and Instagram too and it’s currently been 2 days and I feel soo fresh and alive it really is toxic and I see myself changing for the better
A video I'd like to see pertaining to this topic: dealing with perfectionism and insecurities when job hunting (this brings out my insecurities more than anything).
I’ve been so insecure lately for a few months now, and I always tend to not overthink about these type of things, but I’m glad I watched this video because it changed my perspective on a lot of things, I know that it’ll take time, but eventually I’ll reach a point where im content with everything I have :)
I’m 33 and I love watching you. I have come to really love my journey of evolution. Although I wish I could’ve known these things in my 20s, I’m grateful TO HAVE learned them. Getting older is beautiful if we take away the vanity because our souls evolve so much, if we allow them to and give them that opportunity.
Seeing yourself in the third person will allow you a perspective to see your souls evolution more clearly. Love and service. That’s all it boils down to.
The moment you take all the energy you put into everyone else and switch up that energy onto yourself is the moment your life will significantly change for the better. 💕 Great video & great advice really enjoyed this
I remember as a very small child starting school being uncomfortable around the adults and children (I wasn’t socialized much when I was young) and eventually I realized I was having full blown panic attacks on the daily from the stress of my social anxiety. I still have it as a grown adult.😖😢 it really sucks.
Thank you for this video. It gave me a lot to think about. I was a happy kid until I got bullied in school, it has affected me in almost every aspect of my life. I never had body image/self esteem issues until the bullying started and it still has an affect on me almost 18 years later. I can’t bring myself to do certain hairstyles, wear certain clothes or take pictures because of it. I hardly have any pictures of my teen years or even 20s which is so sad. I was looking into getting surgery to fix it but if I have children, my future child could inherit what I changed 🤷🏽♀️
I had the same experience literally 10 years later feeling like I look younger and more glowing and happy than I did in my early 20's -- loved this video so well put together
her: when we strip everything, what is left me: BONES her: this is where inner beauty comes from me: oh.... ps: my heart kinda fluttered when you hug us omg
I don't know what it is but whenever I am in trouble with my feelings and the so called sadness and insecurities or whatever the topic is everytime.......like literally everytime Rowena comes up with a video with the very content I was in a need...let's not say need but more of 'want'........is it only me who experience this.............other than this thankyou very much for being such creative and nice... i love you so so much...love from India
you just helped me so much. i am a minor who was introduced to mature things at a young age [didn't have much of a childhood] i had early signs of depression, and was insecure when i was 6. i have no clue how but you help my trauma of 9 years in 20 minutes. thank you so much
On 15:44, when you said that you knew the thought didn’t make sense but it still affected you, omg this is sooooo true! I love reading about psychology so I am conscious when it’s happening that my thoughts are not benefiting me in any way, but it’s so hard to get rid of them. I just try to practice gratitude when this happens. Thank you for sharing your insight Rowena. It was so helpful!!🌻
Hey Ro, please talk about how to *not allow toxic people and environment get to us.* Great video and it shows you read quite a bit and love all the quote snippets throughout this video. ❤️❤️❤️
Hi Rowena, just want to drop a message to tell you that I really enjoy all the wisdom you're sharing with us. It has helped me through some tough times. So glad to stumble upon your channel. Thank you!
This is the first video I’ve ever watched of yours because I was having such a hard time with my feelings and my insecurities have been destroying all my relationships and you’ve helped me so much in these 21 minutes. Such good advice and you’re such a sweet person your good vibes radiated onto me through the phone. I’m really so grateful for you and your channel more people need to see this
This video is "WOW!". Well, I can say that I have a great weekend because of you Rowena. Thank you! I wish I could have a best friend like you. I need more people in my life with a character like yours 🥰
This is random but like, for quite some days your name, Rowena Tsai has been crossing my mind frequently, I found myself saying Rowena Tsai in my Mind and then a few days ago I came across your video on my UA-cam but I wasn’t bothered to watch it, but today I clicked on this video, and wow, I needed this. So much. As well as all the recommendations you mentioned. Thank you!
What's so good about this video that she's just talking from her mind really in to it not just some fake empty words thrown to our faces left us more empty
This is so good! I am actually writing down these points on my journal, and I can so some self-reflection exercise later:) Thank you for sharing Rowena!
*I can't stop being a big bully to myself recently and I can't sleep. I would love some cheering up 😢; I genuinely mean this from the community :'( thank you so much, for anyone who takes the time to reply.*
@Pluto’s Spirit well, you said this with so much accuracy and love! I can usually pinpoint the reasons why I beat myself up, but it's a consistent practice for me to reaffirm myself with five other positive ones I definitely don't want this so, so much.
@@Thefitty trying not to fix on what is going not as planned (almost everything :( ) and enjoying little things :) learning something new (Lightroom in my case) helps me now. what about you?
@@helendengina8819 those sound like a lot of interesting things! honestly, I'm stuck at the moment. I don't know what to do with myself .j want to travel and get out of this place
Rowena Tsai videos are +/- 20 minutes long and each time, with reflections and taking notes it takes me +/- 60 minutes to get through. Such GREAT information. Thank you!
Just wanted to share something about body image and insecurity!! Earlier this year, I got plastic surgery to change something about my body - my previous body actually matched more with the "instagram model" type body, and everyone around me seemed to like it, but it was affecting my mental health so bad I was truly spiraling. Went to therapy and both eventually decided that plastic surgery was the way to go for me - I don't share it with people as I realise it would look like a superficial choice, but anyone who knows me will know how much it's affected my mental health! I don't feel like I'm "entitled" to be body positive as I got there through surgery, but boy do I feel amazing in my own skin right now
May I ask you what exactly that was? I just now cases where things that matched the beauty standard had a bad impact on physical health (like big boobs for the back) and cases where things that did not match the beauty standard impacted mental health (too big nose, too little boobs, etc.) but never that a standards-meeting beauty things did impact mental health...
@@heyheyvicky1498 I'd rather not share, but it was a body type I saw everywhere and was widely validated around me - and yet, it didn't match what I wanted to look like :)
I can’t speak for anyone else, but you have helped me more than you’ll probably ever know. I am so thankful for you, your journey and your commitment to sharing it all with us. I have gone from a complete potato to someone I didn’t even think I was capable of becoming. I hope that I continue to grow, and when I do, I will continue to the thankful for you, your guidance and your transparency.
This is the first time I’ve heard someone say something that’s so raw and real and rarely said online/at all. Thank you for making me feel less alone :’)
Thank you so much ! This video actually calmed me down while I was spiraling with insecurities. I'm.having a really hard time with acne/acne scars, I'm doing my best with all the skincare knowledge out there but it's taking so much time for my skin to heal and I cant stop thinking how much my clear skin from back then was the thing that made me look decent. Im not a pretty girl and ive accepted that fact last year but now , I dont even have clear skin so I dont even look decent. I just feel yucky and that I wont find love because no guys my age( genZ) would even be interested in me. I dont even feel like I have that great of a personnality, I think I'm actually very basic, there's nothing special about me. So even my "inner beauty" cant compensate for the acne. Ouff im drowning in my insecurities. I would love a video like this just for acne positivity, I would be so grateful :') ❤
Appreciate your openness to share your previous self and the mental state you were in. I think this year has been quite a transformative year for myself as it gave me an opportunity to reassess myself professionally and personally. Through that, I've come to respect myself more, develop a stronger understanding of my self, and talk back to my negative thoughts. I'd love to see more content on further understanding of the self!
It reminds me of something I read yesterday - that there are certain things that are naturally important to people but we make them about competition. Almost everyone who practices any kind of art (drawing, music, writing) or sport has compared themself to other people. But these things are just ways to express ourselves and make us happy so it's not important at all how 'bad' or 'good' we're at them.
that quote about being as perfect as i can just to avoid feelings like guilt, shame and judgement really got to me... And its really hard when you're aware of it but you dont really know how deal with this kind of impulsive behavior from make everything perfect and be very anxious if i wont be perfect as i want.
You're so right about being mindful about what you consume. Curating my IG feed so that I always come away from scrolling feeling good and/or having learned something has been a huge part of my healing journey.
It is so easy to compare and feel worse. I think if we do what we believe in, whether it is in our actions or appearance, we stay strong. If we let others’ judgements rule our belief in ourselves, we become insecure. Thanks for sharing.
What's so crazy to me is how we judge other people is a reflection of how we evaluate our lives. I think I evaluate my life in regards to other people: whether or not people like me, if I'm popular, well-liked and have lots of friends, have met another person's needs or succeeded in helping them or solved their problem, because I judge people in that regard too. I used to staunchly describe myself as a loner (or laughably a lone wolf as an adolescent) until I truly became one as a teenager, then carried on those habits w/o self awareness into college whilst still wondering why I had no friends (or friends the way I wanted to). I experienced bullying as a kid and felt insecure about whether I truly belonged in a group of people and so I judged anyone dared to try including myself. I judged anyone who was simply trying to get other people to like them or looking to other people for validation because I secretly wanted that validation too. I used to call those people "followers", but was too scared of being a leader, so I "didn't engage" with that dynamic at all. I resented people who occupied that role of "leader" as though there were something oppressive about it. Ironically now I enjoy leading others with kindness in the hopes that the knowledge I have can help them in some way. In truth both roles are okay, and we all fill both in different scenarios or we can choose to disregard that dichotomy altogether and work collaboratively. I guess I evaluated my life based on the validation I'd only get inherently because only the validation I didn't ask for was true or real or valid. (which I guess is rooted in distrust of other people and the idea they'd be honest with me if I asked, which, where is that distrust rooted from .... ? shit idek) And so that's something I've been thinking about lately; living for other people, because I've been peeling back that layer and mindset at snail pace because boy is it adhered on there good. I don't know how far deep it goes into my psyche. I'm in my early 20's and still wrapping my head around what it all means to live for myself and to stay in *my* perspective or source my happiness, calm, and sense of truth from within. Wild.
I was trying on bathing suits and started crying about how I looked. I have a pool party to go to... and I have to learn to love who I am. It feels like everyone is so pretty and perfect, with everything figured out... and it hurts. I hope some of you can relate to this feeling I seem to always have. We are enough, even if we don't see it ourselves.
Whenever I went to buy bathing suit it ended up in tears. My advice is : do whatever you can to change your situation and solve problem you have. I regret not doing it on time when I was still young.
I think the most important in this is being critical of the solution I am presented. Like you said, when they tap on our insecurities, they can sell us anything, things that are not even doing anything for the problem.
So true! I stopped using Instagram because it was so damaging! I was so sad because my life wasn't nearly as cool as everyone else's. I had to realize that everyone is different, and I don't need to be like other people. What goes online is only the picture perfect highlights of people's life. They don't post real pictures of real moments.
So glad I came across your channel. I suffer from depression and anxiety , had a bad day and have been binge watching your videos all night. I think your content is incredible and so impactful. I’ve had a much better night thanks to your videos. Happy to support !
I used to always think that the idea of how we judge/measure/receive/and love ourselves directly impacts how we do those things to others was a bunch of crap until I started working harder on self-compassion. Yoga With Adriene really helped me with this! It taught me to notice my self talk during difficult poses. I heard just how terrible I was to myself and made an effort to change it. Now I notice that I am a lot more compassionate towards others and a lot less judgy.
guess who just made a detailed list with 1 paragraph points on each of the 7 points and my own modifications/additions! Thank you for this video it was uplifting.
You are so wise beyond your years. I wish my younger sister would be willing to watch this video. I've always been an outcast because I never cared that much about others thoughts and found commercials funny and wasn't into social media but my sister's self esteem is based on all that stuff you mentioned and she's on a toxic self destructive path right now. I wish she was friends with people like you than the people she's around now. My big thing is perfectionism that I need to not stress so much about because I'm my own worse critic. Thank you for your amazing videos. You are always an inspiration. If people can pray for my sister and my family that'd be appreciated. 🙏
I’m currently going through some mental illnesses and your hug has been well received by my arms, thank you for these wise words Ro, you make such a difference, congrats for what you’ve become. Kisses from brazil 😊
I really needed this video, especially now when I'm always at home so I end up comparing my life to my friends' lives because they all have jobs and are getting busy. And I'm always thinking "why don't I have a job yet? am I not good enough?" I want to be more at peace with where I am and I'm trying to tell myself to be anchored and keep working on myself without comparison.
I literally thought you were 19 when I first started watching your videos (yesterday) like damn ig when you're unproblematic and a beautiful kind soul you just age like fine wine
this is the first vid of yours that I watched and at the ending part of it, I was like "she's so cute I want to hug her love her so much 😭" and then you started you saying you'll give a hug!!!! thank you!!! it was just such a nice thing to have come accross this video of yours!! lots of love!! ♥️♥️
In social psychology, we’ve been learning that social comparisons is a way to look for acceptance in society. You look to other people and wonder if you fit in, and if there are norms that you’ve missed because they’re covert. That feeling of not good enough is at its core an « I don’t fit in, I’m going to be ostracized » feeling
ugh i wish i could relate to the childhood youre painting out of not caring. Ive been insecure about my weight ever since i could remember. Ive never been overweight at all but i was chubbier than the other girls in my class. I remember basically nothing from when i was a kid but i have distinct memories of not liking pictures of myself and having self depricating humour. I also remember just stepping on a scale and feeling sad, even though i had absolutely no idea what weight was "normal" or "good", i shouldve been like under 10 at the time. Im just gald this never developed into an eating disorder, but it certainly led to a very very toxic mindset about my body. At the moment im still not happy but i embrace healthy change instead of just wallowing in self pity and hatred.
I love your other styles of videos so much but I particularly love when you sit and talk to the camera. It feels so personal and like I’m getting all of this advice from a sweet friend. You’re a treasure, Rowena. And your videos have impacted me more than anyone else’s. 💜
Its so true when you say businesses profit on our insecurities!! If we all had self worth we wouldn't keep buying excess products we think we "need" to "improve our lives"
Thanks Rowena for listening to your subscribers. I would love to have your thoughts on the feeling of “failure”, and how to face it and overcome it. Some of the many reasons why I love watching you is the fact that you are open to various sources of information, and you present it in ways to improve ourselves as a person, not to become better than others (does that make sense? 😁). I measure myself by looking at how I evolved as a 52 year old woman, and how I can still work on becoming a more sensitive human being. Hugs from Montreal 🤗
I try to use social media as a form of inspiration. If this person managed to create something beautiful, maybe i can make something beautiful too. Not exactly the same thing, but my own version. Weather it be gorgeous art, peaceful atmosphere with family or a healthy strong body. These are all ideals to strive for and as you mentioned they are only the highlights. Every person has low points from every day. But there is quite a bit out there that doesn't exist to inspire.....
I am so happy I found this channel a few years ago... I have ups and downs in how much these videos help me, but even if I can't do anything with the information, they are still very soothing to watch/listen to. They always help in some way ✨
I really felt that hug ❤️ how about talking abouuuut this: I try to fill these needs that I have inside of me with anything. I’m aware of my self worth but when any person comes into my life and fills these gabs with the bare minimum I start to build my happiness around them. I don’t know how you explain that, how you call that, but it’s serious and it’s harmful.
Rowena you are just AMAZING! Such a great example of healthy, grounded female empowerment. Absolutely beautiful inside and out. I am soooo grateful you are on these internet streets. Thank you for being you, for the work you do and all you share.
I love that you mentioned Edward Bernays and advertisement!! Realizing that my body insecurities stemmed from advertisements and companies creating problems that didn't previously exist (like beliving cellulite is unnatural and a sign of bad health) completely changed the relationship I had with my body :)
To be honest, I didn't expect you to be so vulnerable and to go into so much depth with this issue. I struggle TREMENDOUSLY with self-esteem and it really has crippled me and even caused some unhealthy habits. I really needed this. Thank you! Much love from South Africa :)
Hey Rowana! I've binged your videos over Covid, I've now caught up and watched absolutely every video you've ever made! I'm happy because I feel like we are on such similar journeys. We are a similar age and both have a social media presense where we feel the need to make deadlines and lead people. I wanted to give you a challenge! You often say things in "groups of 3" - for example you often will start a sentence and give three different endings. "All of this makes you think about your life, makes you consider your daily actions, makes you... .... ... think about what you do and why you do it". So there will frequently be a large pause before the third item. The reason for this pause is that you've already made your point but you want to make 3 items because it's more whole and rounded than 2 items. I would challenge you to try to say it in one. And just repeat that 1 item. Reason why: it will focus your writing (I know most of this is scripted) and it will force you to find the point and reiterate that instead of following a rule of 3. You dont need to eliminate the rule of 3 every time. It's just a great way to challenge yourself in your writing! Thanks so much for all you do!
This helped me so much. I realized how much I was comparing myself and feeling bad cuz my anxiety was holding me back. It’s time for me to focus on me 🧎🏻♀️
Wow. This had me tearing up on the treadmill at the gym. This hit home. Your delivery was great; charismatic and fun. But your message was so deep and wasnt lost. Thank you for this video. So proud of you (and thankful) for finding your true self and sharing it with the world.
Hello Rowena! I love the topics you choose and the advice you give. About body image, as my aunt used to say when she was still with us 'Girls always remember it is not about losing weight or gaining weight. It is about feeling comfortable in your own skin and keeping (if you can) the same weight over time. And as you grow older your body will adjust naturally, and that's true beauty.' For all the ladies and guys reading: You attract the energy that you give off. Spread good vibes and laughs. Think positively. Enjoy life and enjoy health. ❤️ ❤️ ☀
1)Learning how the world works ~we are taught & sold insecurities ~be aware of what world is selling u ~some problems that we think we have might be not that important 2) be mindful of what u consumes ~don't compare urself to anyone u see on the internet ~ comparing ourselves to others affects us to the deeper core of our being 3) understand trends come & go ~beauty standards are different ~ be urself; self-love; be confident in ur own skin be the anchor of ur own ship 4) know what ur values ~how do u measure ur life, ur worth by fame, money, beauty etc ~be kinder, compassionate toward urself so that you'll be more nicer, kinder toward others and society in the long run 5) Embrace imperfections ~ ✨✨✌️ no matter what ✨✨✨ 6) exude good vibes (gratitude) ~ when u see someone succeeding Don't be jealous of them, or compare urself ~ fill ur head with good vibes ~be less judgemental of ur own self And give urself love, pep talk So that u exude more of happy person to others also Think good vibes be good vibes ⚡💖🙆 . .
Everything you said is "exactly" what I needed to hear. I was in the beauty industry. So, you can imagine what goes through my mind. I am SO grateful that I found you! :)
I always think that too about how different beauty standards are from the past and how much trends change. I often want to tell all girls your time will come or you can start a trend yourself. Embrace differences and all that. It is getting a lot better nowadays, I think, which is great!
I just found Rowena’s page today and I immediately subscribed!! Thank you for your videos. I recently accepted a new job where I’ll be managing my own team. I really want to become more organized and comfortable managing again, so I can relate to my team well. I have a few insecurities when it come to starting this new position, I value myself and the company so, I want to overachieve the expectations given to me. I’m blessed for this opportunity and your videos are definitely helping me ground myself to do well and not feed into those insecurities I was exposed too. Especially when I can make some changes to my mindset and download a few great apps to help me feel prepared. (Plus, creepily looking in the background of your videos to get book recommendations) hehe ☺️
This is such a beautiful and vulnerable video, thank you! Looking into Edward Bernays earlier this year was a huge red pill for me. The idea that "public relations" was created by a man who observed and basically hacked women's biology specifically to create the "perfect consumer" (his own words) explains so much about corporate feminism. I hope his work becomes more mainstream knowledge because as hard as it is to realize we're being manipulated at every turn, it's also empowering. Just a little side note, the cofounder of Netflix is Edward Bernays' nephew. Yikes.
- Me running to the kitchen to make a coffee and lay in bed absorbing her wise words :‘)
hehe ☕️🌻✨ grateful for you!
Same. Literally.
Sounds like a good way to absorb some wise words to me!
Will do that asap.
5:33 "It doesn't make sense to compare your twenty-four hours to someone's 1-sec photo from their highlight reel of their day" really got to me, I needed to hear this
I’m the 111 comment woah
If you're reading this...This is a positive sign.
You're right where you need to be. You are beautiful. You are brilliant. You are enough. May all your worries wash away and you find pockets of peace throughout your day 💗 Dr. Liz
thank u so much, 💗. right back at u!
@@prerza I appreciate you! ✨
grateful for your words, Dr. Liz 🙏🏻💕
I have tears in my eyes as i write this, thank you so much. Thank you, thank you so much. ♥️ god bless you. Sending love and positivity ✨
@@shreyakedia9815 thank you so much for sharing! Blessings! 💗
Anyone else feel like it's easier to be LESS critical of others than you are of yourself?
Absolutely, true. We are our own worst critic. It’s easier to criticize ourselves than risk criticism of others.
For me, I've definitely found it is easier to give others a break over myself. However, I've noticed that the kinder I am to myself, the kinder I've become to others. Weird, right?
The most difficult time to like yourself is when you fail to get what you want. What good are you to yourself if you can't get what you want? Well, it is okay to not be good enough to get what you want, because you aren't on this planet to get what you want. You're here to learn what you need. Not getting what you want can be one of the best learning experiences you'll ever have.
absolutely. and that's all the more reason why we should love & cheer for ourselves when things don't end up panning out as we imagined. I'd like to believe that the universe is constantly showing / sharing lessons with us until we learn and internalize them 😌✨
I really needed to hear this, lately I’ve been falling more and more into depression because I can’t do what I want to do
Thank you
needed to hear this thank you
this really got to me, i feel like i needed to hear it so much, thanks.
As some who was a people pleaser, low self-esteem, and depressed, you hit every spot that took years to learn and overcome. I’m still struggling from time to time. It’s content like yours that reminds me of what my value truly is. So thank you. Keep up the good work.
ua-cam.com/channels/W6Mhx_ZOXb4q0EkNywrNRg.html
This is very random but I used to edit my pictures before posting on instagram A LOT (like I'd spend hours on one pic because because I wanted it to look pretty but not heavily edited which is stupid because i did edit heavily lol) I used to think i was very non photogenic. And i was. But not because I was ugly but because in pictures i just looked very stiff and strange because I was constantly trying to pose nicely and keep all the angles nice and "just like that instagram girl who looks perfect in pictures". But I realized that I don't wanna look back on my feed and see a bunch of wannabe pics, trying too hard to look pretty. I want to see moments. And happiness and authenticity. So now i just take a lot of goofy and candid pics, and don't edit myself at all and just try to find the perfect filter that captures the vibe and my mood at that time perfectly. It's so much nicer to look back on my feed now. Because I don't see altered images of myself that make me wanna cringe and puke but I see moments that I cherish. So yeah :)
thank you for this
I love love love this. went through very similar experiences myself 🙈😬💕
Thank you! You're so wise. This is vast wisdom and self-control. I'm taking a break from social media right now, and I'm not sure if I want to go back there. I'll meditate on it during this break, but if I'm going to use IG again, I'll follow this advice for sure. Thank you again. May your life be full of health, love and happiness. ❤
i have been more conscious about the things I consume and I realize that even though I may not realize it, I ACTUALLY AM AFFECTED BY LIKE THE POSTS I SEE ON INSTAGRAM!!!
sameeee 🙈
About being jealous of someone who is “better” than us, I learned a way to get rid of overjealousy. You should pray for the person that you jealous for their particular quality that makes you jealous to increase! If you’re jealous about their success, pray for them to be more successful, if it is about the beauty, pray for them to be more beautiful. (actually being jealous is normal, but it may harm us if it is too much as you talked about it Rowena). It is an islamic advice and it is sooo hard to do. But I tried it and it works! Maybe it’ll work for other people in here... Love your content as always Rowena, you’re the best
That's interesting! What change did you notice exactly?
love this reframing. I feel that this can help you indirectly practice gratitude? thank you so much for sharing! 🙏🏻💕
I just tell myself how much better I am than them
@@screamingbanshee1282 oop-
Im probably going start crying and having panic attack if im starting to pray for that person beauty to be more beautiful...
I deleted my Twitter and Instagram because I felt like it was spreading so much negativity in my life.now it's been 3weeks , I hope I can continue this. And I have been feeling really good.
Omg I deleted Twitter and Instagram too and it’s currently been 2 days and I feel soo fresh and alive it really is toxic and I see myself changing for the better
A video I'd like to see pertaining to this topic: dealing with perfectionism and insecurities when job hunting (this brings out my insecurities more than anything).
I’ve been so insecure lately for a few months now, and I always tend to not overthink about these type of things, but I’m glad I watched this video because it changed my perspective on a lot of things, I know that it’ll take time, but eventually I’ll reach a point where im content with everything I have :)
I’m 33 and I love watching you. I have come to really love my journey of evolution. Although I wish I could’ve known these things in my 20s, I’m grateful TO HAVE learned them. Getting older is beautiful if we take away the vanity because our souls evolve so much, if we allow them to and give them that opportunity.
Seeing yourself in the third person will allow you a perspective to see your souls evolution more clearly. Love and service. That’s all it boils down to.
Rowena: *mimicking ads*
UA-cam : interrupts with ads '' your xxx should look like this, that's why you need xxx''
Me : PROPAGANDA!
😂😂😅
The moment you take all the energy you put into everyone else and switch up that energy onto yourself is the moment your life will significantly change for the better. 💕
Great video & great advice really enjoyed this
So true 💕
Love this comment 💜
"there's so many Kylie Jenners around the world" This is gold
I remember as a very small child starting school being uncomfortable around the adults and children (I wasn’t socialized much when I was young) and eventually I realized I was having full blown panic attacks on the daily from the stress of my social anxiety. I still have it as a grown adult.😖😢 it really sucks.
How is it that both this upload and last have me crying because I needed them so badly
Crying ---The Sequel.
🥺😭💕 sending you the biggest bear hug Fonda!!!
Thank you for this video. It gave me a lot to think about. I was a happy kid until I got bullied in school, it has affected me in almost every aspect of my life. I never had body image/self esteem issues until the bullying started and it still has an affect on me almost 18 years later. I can’t bring myself to do certain hairstyles, wear certain clothes or take pictures because of it. I hardly have any pictures of my teen years or even 20s which is so sad. I was looking into getting surgery to fix it but if I have children, my future child could inherit what I changed 🤷🏽♀️
Didn't know I needed this video until I got this notification ❤️ Rowena gets us ❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️。
I had the same experience literally 10 years later feeling like I look younger and more glowing and happy than I did in my early 20's -- loved this video so well put together
Wow. The timing of this is definitely uncanny. I had a moment of sadness and insecurity right now and this popped up.
Thank you.
I hope you're ok remember we're all beautiful in our own way 😊😊😊
her: when we strip everything, what is left
me: BONES
her: this is where inner beauty comes from
me: oh....
ps: my heart kinda fluttered when you hug us omg
I don't know what it is but whenever I am in trouble with my feelings and the so called sadness and insecurities or whatever the topic is everytime.......like literally everytime Rowena comes up with a video with the very content I was in a need...let's not say need but more of 'want'........is it only me who experience this.............other than this thankyou very much for being such creative and nice... i love you so so much...love from India
you just helped me so much. i am a minor who was introduced to mature things at a young age [didn't have much of a childhood] i had early signs of depression, and was insecure when i was 6. i have no clue how but you help my trauma of 9 years in 20 minutes. thank you so much
On 15:44, when you said that you knew the thought didn’t make sense but it still affected you, omg this is sooooo true! I love reading about psychology so I am conscious when it’s happening that my thoughts are not benefiting me in any way, but it’s so hard to get rid of them. I just try to practice gratitude when this happens. Thank you for sharing your insight Rowena. It was so helpful!!🌻
I feel like I just sat down and had a chat with a very wise and wonderful friend! Can’t wait for the video on perfectionism! I need to hear it! 😘
Thank you so much for your wise words! I’m gonna go in and unfollow everyone that I compare myself to in a negative way🥰
First of all, that shark plushie is SO CUTE
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Hey Ro, please talk about how to *not allow toxic people and environment get to us.* Great video and it shows you read quite a bit and love all the quote snippets throughout this video. ❤️❤️❤️
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Hi Rowena, just want to drop a message to tell you that I really enjoy all the wisdom you're sharing with us. It has helped me through some tough times. So glad to stumble upon your channel. Thank you!
This is the first video I’ve ever watched of yours because I was having such a hard time with my feelings and my insecurities have been destroying all my relationships and you’ve helped me so much in these 21 minutes. Such good advice and you’re such a sweet person your good vibes radiated onto me through the phone. I’m really so grateful for you and your channel more people need to see this
This video is "WOW!". Well, I can say that I have a great weekend because of you Rowena. Thank you! I wish I could have a best friend like you. I need more people in my life with a character like yours 🥰
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This is random but like, for quite some days your name, Rowena Tsai has been crossing my mind frequently, I found myself saying Rowena Tsai in my
Mind and then a few days ago I came across your video on my UA-cam but I wasn’t bothered to watch it, but today I clicked on this video, and wow, I needed this. So much. As well as all the recommendations you mentioned. Thank you!
What's so good about this video that she's just talking from her mind really in to it not just some fake empty words thrown to our faces left us more empty
This is so good! I am actually writing down these points on my journal, and I can so some self-reflection exercise later:) Thank you for sharing Rowena!
*I can't stop being a big bully to myself recently and I can't sleep. I would love some cheering up 😢; I genuinely mean this from the community :'( thank you so much, for anyone who takes the time to reply.*
@Pluto’s Spirit well, you said this with so much accuracy and love! I can usually pinpoint the reasons why I beat myself up, but it's a consistent practice for me to reaffirm myself with five other positive ones I definitely don't want this so, so much.
Feel the same... I always try to ask me what can I do to feel at least a bit better. Sometimes it works...
Hope you feel better soon! Distant hugs! :)
@@helendengina8819 hugs received, Helen! How are you doing recently?
@@Thefitty trying not to fix on what is going not as planned (almost everything :( ) and enjoying little things :) learning something new (Lightroom in my case) helps me now. what about you?
@@helendengina8819 those sound like a lot of interesting things! honestly, I'm stuck at the moment. I don't know what to do with myself .j want to travel and get out of this place
Rowena Tsai videos are +/- 20 minutes long and each time, with reflections and taking notes it takes me +/- 60 minutes to get through. Such GREAT information. Thank you!
Just wanted to share something about body image and insecurity!! Earlier this year, I got plastic surgery to change something about my body - my previous body actually matched more with the "instagram model" type body, and everyone around me seemed to like it, but it was affecting my mental health so bad I was truly spiraling. Went to therapy and both eventually decided that plastic surgery was the way to go for me - I don't share it with people as I realise it would look like a superficial choice, but anyone who knows me will know how much it's affected my mental health! I don't feel like I'm "entitled" to be body positive as I got there through surgery, but boy do I feel amazing in my own skin right now
May I ask you what exactly that was? I just now cases where things that matched the beauty standard had a bad impact on physical health (like big boobs for the back) and cases where things that did not match the beauty standard impacted mental health (too big nose, too little boobs, etc.) but never that a standards-meeting beauty things did impact mental health...
@@heyheyvicky1498 I'd rather not share, but it was a body type I saw everywhere and was widely validated around me - and yet, it didn't match what I wanted to look like :)
I can’t speak for anyone else, but you have helped me more than you’ll probably ever know. I am so thankful for you, your journey and your commitment to sharing it all with us. I have gone from a complete potato to someone I didn’t even think I was capable of becoming. I hope that I continue to grow, and when I do, I will continue to the thankful for you, your guidance and your transparency.
This is the first time I’ve heard someone say something that’s so raw and real and rarely said online/at all. Thank you for making me feel less alone :’)
Thank you so much ! This video actually calmed me down while I was spiraling with insecurities. I'm.having a really hard time with acne/acne scars, I'm doing my best with all the skincare knowledge out there but it's taking so much time for my skin to heal and I cant stop thinking how much my clear skin from back then was the thing that made me look decent. Im not a pretty girl and ive accepted that fact last year but now , I dont even have clear skin so I dont even look decent. I just feel yucky and that I wont find love because no guys my age( genZ) would even be interested in me. I dont even feel like I have that great of a personnality, I think I'm actually very basic, there's nothing special about me. So even my "inner beauty" cant compensate for the acne. Ouff im drowning in my insecurities. I would love a video like this just for acne positivity, I would be so grateful :') ❤
Appreciate your openness to share your previous self and the mental state you were in. I think this year has been quite a transformative year for myself as it gave me an opportunity to reassess myself professionally and personally. Through that, I've come to respect myself more, develop a stronger understanding of my self, and talk back to my negative thoughts. I'd love to see more content on further understanding of the self!
It reminds me of something I read yesterday - that there are certain things that are naturally important to people but we make them about competition. Almost everyone who practices any kind of art (drawing, music, writing) or sport has compared themself to other people. But these things are just ways to express ourselves and make us happy so it's not important at all how 'bad' or 'good' we're at them.
thank you for this! looking forward to the perfectionism video bc i really struggle with it
rowena never fails to ground me and truly realize what’s important, thank u ❤️
that quote about being as perfect as i can just to avoid feelings like guilt, shame and judgement really got to me... And its really hard when you're aware of it but you dont really know how deal with this kind of impulsive behavior from make everything perfect and be very anxious if i wont be perfect as i want.
You're so right about being mindful about what you consume. Curating my IG feed so that I always come away from scrolling feeling good and/or having learned something has been a huge part of my healing journey.
It is so easy to compare and feel worse. I think if we do what we believe in, whether it is in our actions or appearance, we stay strong. If we let others’ judgements rule our belief in ourselves, we become insecure. Thanks for sharing.
What's so crazy to me is how we judge other people is a reflection of how we evaluate our lives. I think I evaluate my life in regards to other people: whether or not people like me, if I'm popular, well-liked and have lots of friends, have met another person's needs or succeeded in helping them or solved their problem, because I judge people in that regard too. I used to staunchly describe myself as a loner (or laughably a lone wolf as an adolescent) until I truly became one as a teenager, then carried on those habits w/o self awareness into college whilst still wondering why I had no friends (or friends the way I wanted to). I experienced bullying as a kid and felt insecure about whether I truly belonged in a group of people and so I judged anyone dared to try including myself. I judged anyone who was simply trying to get other people to like them or looking to other people for validation because I secretly wanted that validation too. I used to call those people "followers", but was too scared of being a leader, so I "didn't engage" with that dynamic at all. I resented people who occupied that role of "leader" as though there were something oppressive about it. Ironically now I enjoy leading others with kindness in the hopes that the knowledge I have can help them in some way.
In truth both roles are okay, and we all fill both in different scenarios or we can choose to disregard that dichotomy altogether and work collaboratively.
I guess I evaluated my life based on the validation I'd only get inherently because only the validation I didn't ask for was true or real or valid. (which I guess is rooted in distrust of other people and the idea they'd be honest with me if I asked, which, where is that distrust rooted from .... ? shit idek)
And so that's something I've been thinking about lately; living for other people, because I've been peeling back that layer and mindset at snail pace because boy is it adhered on there good. I don't know how far deep it goes into my psyche.
I'm in my early 20's and still wrapping my head around what it all means to live for myself and to stay in *my* perspective or source my happiness, calm, and sense of truth from within. Wild.
I stumbled upon this due to a friend asked why women are insecure. I felt I knew but wanted to make sure. I never understood people having insecurity
I was trying on bathing suits and started crying about how I looked. I have a pool party to go to... and I have to learn to love who I am. It feels like everyone is so pretty and perfect, with everything figured out... and it hurts. I hope some of you can relate to this feeling I seem to always have. We are enough, even if we don't see it ourselves.
Whenever I went to buy bathing suit it ended up in tears. My advice is : do whatever you can to change your situation and solve problem you have. I regret not doing it on time when I was still young.
I think the most important in this is being critical of the solution I am presented. Like you said, when they tap on our insecurities, they can sell us anything, things that are not even doing anything for the problem.
So true! I stopped using Instagram because it was so damaging! I was so sad because my life wasn't nearly as cool as everyone else's. I had to realize that everyone is different, and I don't need to be like other people. What goes online is only the picture perfect highlights of people's life. They don't post real pictures of real moments.
I was crying last night bcs of insecurities. I needed this
So glad I came across your channel. I suffer from depression and anxiety , had a bad day and have been binge watching your videos all night. I think your content is incredible and so impactful. I’ve had a much better night thanks to your videos. Happy to support !
I used to always think that the idea of how we judge/measure/receive/and love ourselves directly impacts how we do those things to others was a bunch of crap until I started working harder on self-compassion. Yoga With Adriene really helped me with this! It taught me to notice my self talk during difficult poses. I heard just how terrible I was to myself and made an effort to change it. Now I notice that I am a lot more compassionate towards others and a lot less judgy.
guess who just made a detailed list with 1 paragraph points on each of the 7 points and my own modifications/additions! Thank you for this video it was uplifting.
You are so wise beyond your years. I wish my younger sister would be willing to watch this video. I've always been an outcast because I never cared that much about others thoughts and found commercials funny and wasn't into social media but my sister's self esteem is based on all that stuff you mentioned and she's on a toxic self destructive path right now. I wish she was friends with people like you than the people she's around now.
My big thing is perfectionism that I need to not stress so much about because I'm my own worse critic. Thank you for your amazing videos. You are always an inspiration. If people can pray for my sister and my family that'd be appreciated. 🙏
I admire how you can reflect on your past self
I’m currently going through some mental illnesses and your hug has been well received by my arms, thank you for these wise words Ro, you make such a difference, congrats for what you’ve become. Kisses from brazil 😊
❤️🌱💯🥰🦋
“Think happy thoughts, think good vibes, be good vibes”
I really needed this video, especially now when I'm always at home so I end up comparing my life to my friends' lives because they all have jobs and are getting busy. And I'm always thinking "why don't I have a job yet? am I not good enough?" I want to be more at peace with where I am and I'm trying to tell myself to be anchored and keep working on myself without comparison.
I literally thought you were 19 when I first started watching your videos (yesterday) like damn ig when you're unproblematic and a beautiful kind soul you just age like fine wine
this is the first vid of yours that I watched and at the ending part of it, I was like "she's so cute I want to hug her love her so much 😭" and then you started you saying you'll give a hug!!!! thank you!!! it was just such a nice thing to have come accross this video of yours!! lots of love!! ♥️♥️
ive been on a diet recently, working out 2h a day, not feeling good in my body and hating on myself ... i guess this is what i needed 🙏
In social psychology, we’ve been learning that social comparisons is a way to look for acceptance in society. You look to other people and wonder if you fit in, and if there are norms that you’ve missed because they’re covert. That feeling of not good enough is at its core an « I don’t fit in, I’m going to be ostracized » feeling
ugh i wish i could relate to the childhood youre painting out of not caring. Ive been insecure about my weight ever since i could remember. Ive never been overweight at all but i was chubbier than the other girls in my class. I remember basically nothing from when i was a kid but i have distinct memories of not liking pictures of myself and having self depricating humour. I also remember just stepping on a scale and feeling sad, even though i had absolutely no idea what weight was "normal" or "good", i shouldve been like under 10 at the time.
Im just gald this never developed into an eating disorder, but it certainly led to a very very toxic mindset about my body. At the moment im still not happy but i embrace healthy change instead of just wallowing in self pity and hatred.
I love your other styles of videos so much but I particularly love when you sit and talk to the camera. It feels so personal and like I’m getting all of this advice from a sweet friend. You’re a treasure, Rowena. And your videos have impacted me more than anyone else’s. 💜
Its so true when you say businesses profit on our insecurities!! If we all had self worth we wouldn't keep buying excess products we think we "need" to "improve our lives"
Thanks Rowena for listening to your subscribers. I would love to have your thoughts on the feeling of “failure”, and how to face it and overcome it.
Some of the many reasons why I love watching you is the fact that you are open to various sources of information, and you present it in ways to improve ourselves as a person, not to become better than others (does that make sense? 😁). I measure myself by looking at how I evolved as a 52 year old woman, and how I can still work on becoming a more sensitive human being. Hugs from Montreal 🤗
Yes, improve for you, not for others. I like you because of all the aspects and sides that are you.
I try to use social media as a form of inspiration. If this person managed to create something beautiful, maybe i can make something beautiful too. Not exactly the same thing, but my own version. Weather it be gorgeous art, peaceful atmosphere with family or a healthy strong body. These are all ideals to strive for and as you mentioned they are only the highlights. Every person has low points from every day. But there is quite a bit out there that doesn't exist to inspire.....
the best big sis I never had 🥺✨
- literally not me cryin at 5am
6:00 I can relate to that. My friends always said that I am such a positive and happy person, but the truth was, I wasn't happy at all.
this is the most beautiful and educational 20 minutes of my day. im glad i spent it listening from a beautiful soul✨
Me: endlessly nodding🥺🤯 “it’s so true Rowena!” *esp the anchor one
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I am so happy I found this channel a few years ago... I have ups and downs in how much these videos help me, but even if I can't do anything with the information, they are still very soothing to watch/listen to. They always help in some way ✨
I really felt that hug ❤️ how about talking abouuuut this: I try to fill these needs that I have inside of me with anything. I’m aware of my self worth but when any person comes into my life and fills these gabs with the bare minimum I start to build my happiness around them. I don’t know how you explain that, how you call that, but it’s serious and it’s harmful.
Rowena you are just AMAZING! Such a great example of healthy, grounded female empowerment. Absolutely beautiful inside and out. I am soooo grateful you are on these internet streets. Thank you for being you, for the work you do and all you share.
I love that you mentioned Edward Bernays and advertisement!! Realizing that my body insecurities stemmed from advertisements and companies creating problems that didn't previously exist (like beliving cellulite is unnatural and a sign of bad health) completely changed the relationship I had with my body :)
To be honest, I didn't expect you to be so vulnerable and to go into so much depth with this issue. I struggle TREMENDOUSLY with self-esteem and it really has crippled me and even caused some unhealthy habits. I really needed this. Thank you! Much love from South Africa :)
Hey Rowana! I've binged your videos over Covid, I've now caught up and watched absolutely every video you've ever made! I'm happy because I feel like we are on such similar journeys. We are a similar age and both have a social media presense where we feel the need to make deadlines and lead people.
I wanted to give you a challenge! You often say things in "groups of 3" - for example you often will start a sentence and give three different endings. "All of this makes you think about your life, makes you consider your daily actions, makes you... .... ... think about what you do and why you do it". So there will frequently be a large pause before the third item. The reason for this pause is that you've already made your point but you want to make 3 items because it's more whole and rounded than 2 items.
I would challenge you to try to say it in one. And just repeat that 1 item.
Reason why: it will focus your writing (I know most of this is scripted) and it will force you to find the point and reiterate that instead of following a rule of 3.
You dont need to eliminate the rule of 3 every time. It's just a great way to challenge yourself in your writing!
Thanks so much for all you do!
This helped me so much. I realized how much I was comparing myself and feeling bad cuz my anxiety was holding me back. It’s time for me to focus on me 🧎🏻♀️
how did you change right now??
I literally hug my phone every single time u give us a virtual hug 😂 keep shining Rowena ✨🌻
Wow. This had me tearing up on the treadmill at the gym. This hit home. Your delivery was great; charismatic and fun. But your message was so deep and wasnt lost. Thank you for this video. So proud of you (and thankful) for finding your true self and sharing it with the world.
No words to thank Rowena for making this video
I just came across your channel when I was struggling and this helped a lot THANK YOU 💗 def changed my mindset for the better
Hello Rowena! I love the topics you choose and the advice you give. About body image, as my aunt used to say when she was still with us 'Girls always remember it is not about losing weight or gaining weight. It is about feeling comfortable in your own skin and keeping (if you can) the same weight over time. And as you grow older your body will adjust naturally, and that's true beauty.'
For all the ladies and guys reading: You attract the energy that you give off. Spread good vibes and laughs. Think positively. Enjoy life and enjoy health. ❤️ ❤️ ☀
1)Learning how the world works
~we are taught & sold insecurities
~be aware of what world is selling u
~some problems that we think we have might be not that important
2) be mindful of what u consumes
~don't compare urself to anyone u see on the internet
~ comparing ourselves to others affects us to the deeper core of our being
3) understand trends come & go
~beauty standards are different
~ be urself; self-love; be confident in ur own skin be the anchor of ur own ship
4) know what ur values
~how do u measure ur life, ur worth by fame, money, beauty etc
~be kinder, compassionate toward urself so that you'll be more nicer, kinder toward others and society in the long run
5) Embrace imperfections
~ ✨✨✌️ no matter what ✨✨✨
6) exude good vibes (gratitude)
~ when u see someone succeeding
Don't be jealous of them, or compare urself
~ fill ur head with good vibes
~be less judgemental of ur own self
And give urself love, pep talk
So that u exude more of happy person to others also
Think good vibes be good vibes ⚡💖🙆
.
.
Everything you said is "exactly" what I needed to hear. I was in the beauty industry. So, you can imagine what goes through my mind. I am SO grateful that I found you! :)
I always think that too about how different beauty standards are from the past and how much trends change. I often want to tell all girls your time will come or you can start a trend yourself. Embrace differences and all that. It is getting a lot better nowadays, I think, which is great!
The hug at end was very sweet. Thank you 🤗
just finished my online classes, this is refreshing! ✨
Wow I love this so much you are such an inspiration and talk so beautifully💛
She is very articulate. I admire that.
I just found Rowena’s page today and I immediately subscribed!! Thank you for your videos. I recently accepted a new job where I’ll be managing my own team. I really want to become more organized and comfortable managing again, so I can relate to my team well. I have a few insecurities when it come to starting this new position, I value myself and the company so, I want to overachieve the expectations given to me. I’m blessed for this opportunity and your videos are definitely helping me ground myself to do well and not feed into those insecurities I was exposed too. Especially when I can make some changes to my mindset and download a few great apps to help me feel prepared. (Plus, creepily looking in the background of your videos to get book recommendations) hehe ☺️
I believe that our surrounding has the most impact on how we view ourselves but we shouldn't let external factors determine who we are. 🌷
This is such a beautiful and vulnerable video, thank you! Looking into Edward Bernays earlier this year was a huge red pill for me. The idea that "public relations" was created by a man who observed and basically hacked women's biology specifically to create the "perfect consumer" (his own words) explains so much about corporate feminism. I hope his work becomes more mainstream knowledge because as hard as it is to realize we're being manipulated at every turn, it's also empowering. Just a little side note, the cofounder of Netflix is Edward Bernays' nephew. Yikes.
It's morning and Ro posted a video❤️❤️❤️❤️ what a lovely day
this was so needed, thanks Rowena. love what you do on this platform.