Being Social Is a Skill
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- Опубліковано 23 січ 2025
- Robert Greene is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction, The 33 Strategies of War, The 50th Law, Mastery, The Laws of Human Nature, and most recently, The Daily Laws.
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Hey Robert, it's your old upstairs neighbor from Waverly Drive. I remember you reading research for 48 Laws on the front porch. Glad you're doing so well!
@@drfaustus72 flagged for lying
But I already did Robert!
Thanks Robert for your invaluable lessons. Will like to meet you someday
Yeah that's true and the new generation is all gadgets because they are so attractive
Being a good listener is an incredibly important skill to have.
I plan to retire at the end of 2025 at 62 after 36 years in Telecom as a sales engineer. My wife will retire in May 2026 and she's loving life! But walking away from a good income stream and building the nest egg to living from the nest egg is a scary proposition couple with the alarming recession and CPI report
I feel your pain mate, as a fellow retiree, I'd suggest you look into passive index fund investing and learn some more. For me, I had my share of ups and downs when I first started looking for a consistent passive income so I hired an expert advisor for aid, and following her advice, I poured $30k in value stocks and digital assets, Up to 200k so far and pretty sure I'm ready for whatever comes.
My advice: for newbies to grow financially this year, invest. Saving is good, but investing elevates your finances. Why newbie make huge losses on trade is because investing without proper guidance can lead to mistakes and losses. that will stop you from trading, this has been one of the biggest problem to new traders, I've learned this from my own experience
Tracy Britt Cool Consulting was my hope during the 'bear summer' last year. I made so many mistakes but also learned so much from it, and of course from Tracy.
I'm surprised that this name is being mentioned here, I stumbled upon one of her clients testimonies on CNBC news last week...
when you're walking in public, you're walking in a library.
Indeed
Interesting idea ❤
Wow that sums it up so damn well
Very thoughtful
I like this. Thank you.
So true! I used to interview people for a radio station and know that people love nothing more than to talk about themselves and for someone to listen. The most valuable part of life is the story we live. Sharing that is sharing our soul in a sense. Asking questions and being curious not only is good for social skills, but is one of the ways to tap into a person's soul, to experience them on a fundamental level.
Well, plenty of people Tell the Story of their character, their Avatar, which is not real at all. Its just brainactivity generated by their senses and Central nervous system. What they really are, is the Player, the Architect, the observer, but yeah, Lets hear their Story about their world of Warcraft character. Its entertaining too and there is always something to learn, especially at what Level of conciousness they Look into this world of Warcraft.
If we want a deeper connection, then we need the skill to direct the conversation with deeper questions. Not every meeting is built for that.
Same here I’m a freelance writer for a magazine. When I interview people I notice that they light up. When I finish an interview I’m usually inspired by their life story. It feels so good to experience human interest.
I CONSIDER HIM, THE DAD THAT I DIDN'T HAVE. THANK YOU, ROBERT !!! THANK YOU SO MUCH. MÉXICO
❤
Me too
That would be a great dad to choose
Same here❤
Improv comedy classes are a GODSEND for people who need help being social.
Has it helped you? I am considering taking one
@@joydas7149 Yes! I am now teaching virtual classes as well. Lots of info about it on my channel - reach out if you have any questions. I've been drawing lots of parallels between Robert Green's writing and improv. You might love it!
@@joydas7149 Feel free to reach out if you want more info!
😂😂no improv people are cringe and annoying
@@NionS-1 don't you think that EVERY group of people has some within that are cringe and annoying? I don't doubt that you've experienced some cringe improv. But there's also cringe stand-up, sketch, etc.
Once again, this is gold. Robert thank you for dedicating your life to improve the lives of others.
*Absolutely true! Being social is not just about mingling with people, but mastering the art of connecting, understanding, and communicating effectively. Just like any other skill, it can be nurtured and refined, empowering us to build meaningful relationships and thrive in any environment.*
After watching this, I realized that I always listen to responses with something about me, my story, my suffering, or even my success. I will try to always look for the interesting thing in others and try to forget myself as I am watching a movie! Thanks, sir. I love to see you and your videos. Your thoughts are so precious and rarely found in the world. Your books should be considered as holy books; that is what the world needs! Love you from the Middle East.
Yes, absolutely! Learning to quiet the mind and reduce internal noises can improve one's ability to listen actively and attentively. When the mind is less cluttered/chatty, it’s easier to focus on what the other person infront of us is actually saying, rather than being distracted by your own assumptions, biases, or preferences. Social skills are important in all aspects in life.
Great video! When I was young I read the great book, 'How To Win Friends and Influence People' and one of that book's points was the same golden message: by taking authentic and real interest in others, and asking them questions and learning more about them, anyone finds that flattering and a positive experience, because for 95% of our lives or whatever, we are stuck in our own world thinking about ourselves and feels like no one cares much about our own experiencer. If you find someone interesting (and EVERYONE is, in some way, or has an interesting story) the other person naturally feels a positive reaction from that and will engage with you beyond the surface level as it's a positive experience.
This works in all kinds of relationships, be them with making new friends, long term relationships, networking events, at the bar, wherever.
That book is not that good btw.. it focuses more on pleasing other people rather than connecting with them. Sharing your story and life while listening to others is the way to go.
"Pleasure is other people." Wonderful, thanks.
Nay wrong Miss ! Pleasure is Me
“Hell is other people”
@@robertimmanuel577 True ! HELL IS FUN .
@@robertimmanuel577 Why ? Did You Tried to see What They Hide From You ? Yeah Admiration And Praise For You
@@robertimmanuel577 They All Acting And Showing Infront Of Others !
Did You Tried To Listen What They Say About You When They Are Alone With No One Around ?
When I Listened Them , All I Hear Was Praise ! Then the Next Day When We Were together in Coffee shop , all I hear Was Same Nonsense they trying to hide How Much They Want To be Like Me
My man I dont find myself boring at all. Other people though I do find them really boring. When you overcome your weaknesses and pain, everything you said stop making sense. Then, when you find actual interesting people, then its lovely.
Adlerian psychology says all problems are interpersonal relationship problems. Social skills are paramount as you point out and remind us. Thanks Robert.
My problem is I’ve always been interested in others… But I realise over time that people are never interested in me. They don’t ask me what I think, they don’t want to hear about my story or what I want to say. It’s tiring…
That means you are doing great,and you are a step ahead 🎉
I feels ya... same here
I came here to say the same thing. I listen to others but am not asked. I used to take it personally and believe that I was just not an interesting person. I now realize that just because I have a gift for listening it doesn't mean that others have that same gift. Learning about personality types and enneagram, socionics helped me to appreciate myself more as well.
Most people are selfish/self centred. Shows they have no social skills either....
For me, It’s the opposite. When I fully immerse myself in the other person, it doesn’t matter if the person does the same to me, because I’m happy to even get a chance to do so and makes me all the more happy if they’re receptive to it.
Thank you, Mr. Greene. Your books and your videos, helped me to improve myself, leave my toxic work environment and meet new people. And I’ve also met a new man I’m romantically interested in. You’ve helped me more than you’ll ever know. Thank you. I wish you all the best.
Robert ,thank you ,you are marvellous with your ways to reach others.
You are an eternal blessing to humanity
@@Bitsurf24 Nay ! His Gathered Information About Things Beneficial To people is A Blessing.
"Find someone more interesting than yourself."
Easy work.
Find people that interest you
But don't think about you like that, or say bad things to you. Just speak to yourself like it's one of your loving one(friends etc)
Sorry for my english
@@Dolph-fe2ks I Tried Hard But Found No One ! They Said Then God Will Be interesting , I Said Afcourse I am Interesting
@@stitischannel1963 Thank You 💪🏼💜😎.
This video came out at the perfect time! Thank you Robert Greene
4:21 facts. Very good point. Being self absorbed is pretty darn boringggg
Not for an introvert!
Great advice as always. I have been a top performer in almost every part of my life. However, I find social interactions difficult, in fact, i paid not much attention to them, just like Robert explains. 😂 and of course, for years, I have watched people being promoted, buying house, cars, getting married, etc., while I am left behind. It really sucks when you know you can do almost any given task, but the social realm always gets in your way. It’s as if the world works against you and everybody thinks you are a loser. Robert actually tells about Franklin, he used to be a top performer, but a very bad social human being. But he changed for the better.
Reading and listening to him helps me. Thank you Robert.
I love how you frame social skills as something that requires active effort and desire!
I had a client who struggled with feeling disconnected from people, and it turned out they were just too focused on their own thoughts during conversations.
After we worked on getting them to engage more deeply with others-taking an interest in the people around them, as you suggest-their relationships transformed.
This advice is pure gold and makes such a difference in real-world situations!
I be would say 90% of people have no clue how to make conversation. People rarely ask me about myself, they just like talking about themselves or talking about superficial things.
People are like all those books behind Robert. If you open it you will discover a new story every time!
How to open them?
So good
People are your greatest joy or biggest grief. We are all capable of being both sides of the coin. Robert is so right even Dale Carnegie said, "learning how to get along with people is your number one asset. We all attracted to honey more than vinegar.
glad to be alive in a time where I can absorb the knowledge of Mr. Greene
Haha flattery is a skill you master
I really like how as time goes on, Robert continues to highlight the significance of his book on seduction. At first glance it may appear to be the least meaningful of his works, but shifting my perspective outwards has improved every aspect of my life. I now believe the best defense is a good offense; when I stop worrying about myself, my conversations are more fluid, and I see more clearly the value in all of my surroundings. I don’t know how it never clicked before-I was always just telling myself “be confident” without even knowing what it meant. Thank you for the guidance, Robert.
What books would you recommend to read first? I’ve been more and more interested in human behaviour and my own too and also trying to improve my social skills. I’ve seen a few videos of the book “Laws of human nature” and I think it’s a good and important one but would you recommend it or rather the law of seduction. I’m 15 btw. So I don’t know if those would be too complicated.
Being social is an art, not just an instinct.
Aristotle believed, 'Man is by nature a social animal.' Cultivating this skill enriches our connections and expands our influence.
Mastering it transforms interactions into meaningful relationships.
How blessed I feel to be able to watch you explaining like this.
You are one of my favorite authors and I look up to you!
Thank you for this video, thank you for your work.
🙂
Robert your diction is superb and your voice is beautiful.
Hy my brothers This Is The Way To Be Good At Social
Alright alright hop off 😂
Hello sir, before this video I saw your other video (The Tedx Talk ) it was probably 10 years ago you were much more energetic back then...cut to today's video, you are getting old but I saw the same energy as before, I'm glad that your doing good and I wish you a healthy life ahead....and thank you so much for the "The Laws of Human Nature" it really helped me to discover myself.
He had a stroke in 2018, which contributes to his lack of energy.
Being a good listener atracts incessant talkers. When i do get a chance to talk to someone who actually listens with patience i always thank them for listening.
Very true. Your story about Benjamin Disraeli opened my eyes to the benefits of having good social skills. I wish I can have a one on one with you Robert, I’ve learnt so much from your books
It's true. I need to discover more interesting people. Thanks Robert, you are the first most interesting person. 😘✨
Doctor green..gm from India.. you have changed my entire perspective to social media and being powerful not happy..kudos to you.💯👌👌👌👌
True , i used to be a bit self absorbed but i grew out of that , i learned to listen more and ask people about theyr lives , again i talk from my own exp. we like to talk about ourselves and is not a bad thing , great vid.🎉
I struggled with poor socials, but at the same token I always saw the great importance of developing them as it helps improve the quality of life and move up in the world.
It's exactly what we were taught in comparative literature - the OTHER perspective is just as valid and equally as interesting as your own, or what you are already familiar with.
Its A Great Friday When Robert Drops A New Video 🙌🙌🙌🙌👏👏👏
Thank you my friend. You are very prolific. your interviews on podcasts show an attentive, gentle inquisitiveness with great incites. So I in turn are interested in you. Thanks for your insights shared.
Best teacher on earth! 🙌🏻🙌🏻
I don't want to talk to people,I'm anti social,and whenever I would talk I would burst,I would be angry,but ever since I saw all your videos I have started to remain calm n get a grip of my emotions..it still hurt me but I'm getting the hang of it,nowadays I don't reply I calmly read the person and deal with the situation
I'm still not ready,so please sir keep on teaching and advising us
Thank you
yeah, watching his videos and reading his works definitely brings the best out of one selves
you are not alone
Hang in there, brother, and keep working at it!
Don't feel bad mist other people suck, only reason to try to get along is to succeed in a career
@@Daniel-ef7nk It's always other people that suck, not you, correct? You're just a sweet ol saint that everybody should just love, right?
Most people are not interested in anything but themselves, projecting your own attitude is not wise.
Robert Greene, Thank you so much. I've noticed you do a ton of interviews. I'd love to hear about the most interesting ones - like, what questions really made you think? and also challenged your way of thinking. a video about that would be highly informative.
Thank you for this message Robert Greene
I read your book on human nature and your chapter on narcissism helped me acknowledge this and it’s been really helpful in my life recently
We are definitely not all narcissists, once you deal with a real narcissist, the difference between a healthy self-interest and clinically malicious behavior becomes as clear as sunny day in July the middle of a dessert and a night in Alaska in December.
Thank you for your comment. Absolutely true and vital to understand.
It is absolutely a skill, not everyone can do it at a successful level.
those two things negate each other. if it's a skill everyone can LEARN it with practice.
@@theantboy just because you practice at a skill doesn't necessarily mean you'll learn it AT A SUCCESSFUL LEVEL. Being social and communication goes 2 ways, one you have to learn is yourself, the other is how others perceive you. You may be able to do it at an acceptable level to yourself, but others may not feel the same. You seem to be leaving out that metric in order to make yourself sound correct. That's ok though, use it as an opportunity to sharpen your social skills.
@@shawnburr8692 i cba debating with some dude on youtube. If we we're to debate we would have to define what "success" is within communication. You could argue that being able to function in society socially is success, but as it's subjective there's no reason for us to talk about it. My point was that even a person with communicative issues could become great at if he/her puts in, let's say 10+ hours of daily practice and added analysis for YEARS. The only thing that would hold someone back from that is being mute, deaf mentally challenged, but that's a minority and the minority doesn't make the rule.
Bobby, you are extremely generous to give this wisdom to us. Many thanks!
Why Bobby?
Who the fuck is Bobby?
@@HMadalin I swear By Your Life I was Typing the same To Ask Then found you did it Thanx
@@HMadalinhahaha right
Lol 😂
You are a master of human behavior Robert. No wonder you wrote a book on mastery.
@@filho_da_noite_amigo Yes True He's Master Of Imitation
Robert Greene is a legend🙏🇳🇵
I never wanted to have social skills. I never wanted to be very good at social skills. I’m looking forward to the day that I don’t have to use these social skills ever again. However I have a feeling that these skills will come in handy some day.
Your works are majestic, I hope they last until the end of time. I could "flatter" you, but you must already be aware of what you have done in this world.
🇧🇷
@@göttIich Not They Only It ! Will last for Eternity
Teacher Robert thank you so much
It's absolutely true!! I still have work to do on that matter but I improved a lot and it's true, the quality of my relationships has increased enormously since I give more attention to what others say and I discovered that it's really fun to listen to other's stories!!!
Life is art and you're the artist ✨
This is so super helpful, thank you Robert! Would LOVE for you to come on my podcast.
For me it is.
I try to be better with people all the time.
if i didnt read 48 laws of power and never understood psychology my whole life would be in a diffrent direction
Yea I thought the same until I realize I was already using the works in book. Thankfully I didn’t realize how potent those tools are if used correctly
Yall sound so sad
@@thegreat9481 why? i didn't read the book but it seems difficult to state that someone is sad by reading a phrase
@@leandrolucchesi962 The book was not written for you to become the people described within it. The book also had reversals to every law. So for a person to say they use tactics in the book to get through life is kinda pathetic if I’m being honest.
I can’t imagine what type of person goes through everyday life thinking about this book like its never someone bigger and badder than them 😂
It’s just about awareness of people you may come across. Read it from that scope whenever you do.
@@thegreat9481 thank you! I understand now! I'm really curious to read it
Thanks robert
Your wisdom changed my life thank you sir ❤ 🙏
This was the most impactful video on my life.
I've had 0 interaction with other people and I'm perfectly fine. I can't hardly believe it turned out that way, but you can't force people to interact with you, it's their loss.
Always Awesome having the chance listening to you dr Greene 🫶🏻
Thank you for what you do Sir.❤
Yes being social is a skill, based to neuroscience because skill is just a specific cognitive structure.
Another masterclass of Robert as expected...keep this coming master ❤
I just enjoy watching robert greene's videos
Giving more than a one word answer also helps. Most people don't ask questions.
Robert Greene AKA Wisdom 🐐
Thank you for sharing ❤
I have the experience of people: I am interested in them and they are interested that im interested in them, but they dont like that im giving them this attention. It's like instantaneous envy just because im charitable in listening to them. Its like... Bro. Its hard to make friends. People are playing a game im not interested in, in the end.
There is a world of difference between being self interested and being self actualized. Self actualized people are curious about the world and people around them. That doesn't mean they find their own interests boring, they just aren't seeking external validation.
I want to practice… sounds like an adventure and fun!
When you are building a business how to balance continuous learning, creating things, have time for sports and having time for a social life. I think this is the hardest! 😮 this is actually a question I cannot seem to answer. 😅
You already know your ideas, memories, Phantasies and cant learn anything new from them. But you can learn from other people. And the other side will have extreme amount of pleasure by explaining themselves and like you more. Its a win win for everyone
Thanx Mr. G. !
Avoiding problematic people is a skill.
Any thoughts on how someone does that, such as what to look for and how to handle that?
@@EmperorsNewWardrobe After studying narcissism, you get sensitive to how people interact. They can get slightly controlling and have this look in their eyes.
Great point that desire is a key step for developing social skills. Perhaps the other very important thing is the acknowledgemnt that no one cares, so social anxiety is indeed quite a waste of time and energy....
Exciting & impactful video. You guys comments are quite educative as well.
Dear Robert, I have the exact opposite problem.
I listen to other people all the time. Whether they are friends with a few exceptions, or just acquaintances, they talk about themselves and their problems all the time but they are not at all interested in reciprocating. Whenever I tell them about a problem of my own they will dismiss it, when I express an opinion they don't like they are quick to judge me. This has become a lot worse now that I have moved from a big city to the countryside.
The initial interest and connection I feel turns into boredom, to say the least.
If one is not self absorbed how do they deal with others who are self absorbed?
I would very, very much appreciate an answer. Thank you!
This is where I am at currently. I'm letting everything die now by not listening and it is eye opening. People are users
Robert Greene is a genius
Robert Greene has social skills 👌
You say it so well! ❤❤❤ i struggle socially- [i want to be introverted by default. ] ican mix and mingle but its those longer lasting interactions i see at work-- the silliness and goofiness… or the connection … what are THEY doing different??? i always feel like i dont quite fit in…. 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
I love you, Sir
It takes great wisdom to understand that man does not have free will but acts from the laws of nature: such as, the law of necessity, the law of self-preservation, the law of inertia, and the law of cause and effect. Stupidity implies that the individual is confused and does not know it. He acts from his limited perception of reality. Judging and expressing contempt is our way of dealing with this problem, which doesn’t go anywhere.
"Be interested, not interesting." ~Les Giblin, Skill With People
Great, thanks!
Well, this sounds good - but, so many do not wish this, but to hear how you can benefit them. Our interactions are transactions.
Thx Mr Greene
You are my hero Robert Green❤😊
If somebody would ask me about who is my current crush.. I would definitely say it's you and tell them about your work more❤ .Bdw I'v completed my graduation recently in physics..😊
Thanks sr
This information is really helpful and good time to for me.
Impressive lecture.Thanx,👍
Thanks
Listen 70 talk 30 but remember always focus on urself who you are? Always be better ❤
Hi, Mr. Greene! I’ve been reading your books in the past and watching your videos lately. I want to know more about people, but what I’m more curious about is why some people specifically hate others in their circle (work, school, etc.) that has done nothing wrong to them. I know it’s about narcissism but I’ve been trying to find a complex answer.
Done Robert! Anything for you sir!
I've known about you for decades. But I never read or listened to you until recently. It's been my loss. I agree with pretty much everything you say. I don't just believe what you say. I KNOW it's true from my personal experiences. I have the social and seduction skills that you teach (I was personally coached by David Wygant who was the inspiration for the Hitch movie character). But how much faster could I have learned if I had been studying your teachings too? Much. Thank you for all that you share with people.
Being Social is a Skill
- Interacting with people is a skill that needs practice
- Level of desire; do not be self-absorbed
- View your self-absorption is very boring and repetitive
- Everyone is like a movie, think what the other person is like, what their story, be interested.
- "What is it like to be you?"
- Find people more interesting than yourself
Great advice