The 2 kinds of Warlocks

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  • Опубліковано 18 лис 2021
  • Warlock best class
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 715

  • @feralchangeling97
    @feralchangeling97 2 роки тому +7597

    This is why you don't give the bard godhood, the warlocks they make deals with gets weird.

    • @ronnickels5193
      @ronnickels5193 2 роки тому +158

      there is a work around for that

    • @inkbagz3455
      @inkbagz3455 2 роки тому +195

      @@ronnickels5193 there's a work around for anything bard related

    • @shinobidaniel_12
      @shinobidaniel_12 2 роки тому +79

      Can confirm I regret my bard and his brother having immortality every day

    • @GoroAkechi_Real
      @GoroAkechi_Real 2 роки тому +53

      if anyone makes the mistake of inviting me to a DnD campaign ever again im playing a bard.

    • @carsonwagner9171
      @carsonwagner9171 2 роки тому +29

      As a bard who has done so I can say that at least In my term there's more tomfoolery than horny

  • @SanguiVantasKnightOfSpace
    @SanguiVantasKnightOfSpace 2 роки тому +4448

    There is a third. "Hey dad, can you help me with my fight?"

    • @mr.outlaw231
      @mr.outlaw231 2 роки тому +401

      The wizard in the four warlock party pretending to have patron: "Uh... Great Lich Muugerenda.... Da. Inform your... Dark vessel in the art of Necromancy, so I may turn my enemy's strength against them!"

    • @deektedrgg
      @deektedrgg 2 роки тому +466

      If your DM allows time travel, that means there's a theoretical 5th type of warlock. The Auto-Warlock. Perfect pact, only downside is that your godhood depends on you helping your past-self attain godhood.

    • @Spadeaswell
      @Spadeaswell 2 роки тому +106

      …shit, that’s technically my Warlock…

    • @ladywaffle2210
      @ladywaffle2210 2 роки тому +62

      I feel like that's also part of the Sorcerer's schtick.

    • @SanguiVantasKnightOfSpace
      @SanguiVantasKnightOfSpace 2 роки тому +50

      @@ladywaffle2210 Not if they're adopted.

  • @boodle399
    @boodle399 2 роки тому +3904

    my personal favourite is warlocks who treat their pact like a 9 to 5 office job and their patron is their shitty boss

    • @treasurehunter3744
      @treasurehunter3744 2 роки тому +495

      "...Oh and by the way, you have to sacrifice 3 babies by the end of the week, or YOU'RE FIRED!"

    • @boodle399
      @boodle399 2 роки тому +255

      @@treasurehunter3744 least they have dental

    • @jacobc8036
      @jacobc8036 2 роки тому +168

      @@treasurehunter3744 “welcome to a crap guide to DnD”

    • @HiperPivociarz
      @HiperPivociarz 2 роки тому +203

      "Uggh, Shuma Gorath was on my ass the whole fucking day. 'Zariel, feed me the blood of virgins', 'Zariel, smite the non-believers'. I even had to do double duty, because Geroth didn't shoe up. This is bullshit"

    • @Watchmanskey
      @Watchmanskey 2 роки тому +121

      That's a good premise for a sitcom actually. Like The Office but with Warlocks working for their patron. The shift never ends in Warre & Locke Co.

  • @fenrirsrage4609
    @fenrirsrage4609 2 роки тому +6760

    Ngl I like to interpret the last bit as C'tun Aket actually being able to turn into a hot demon lady and is sincerely offering to his summoner to take that form just to be a bro.
    Get yourself a Patron that cares about you.

  • @lucasduque8289
    @lucasduque8289 2 роки тому +7225

    They both pay in bodily fluids, just different fluids.

  • @wuhoh5274
    @wuhoh5274 2 роки тому +1625

    My personal favorite warlock-patron relationships:
    -Really clingy patron/any warlock
    -constantly bickering warlock/patron
    -Theater kid warlock/patron who acts like an adult
    And finally,
    -Wacky silly patron/any warlock it doesn't matter all of them work well with this one

    • @thecookiemeister5374
      @thecookiemeister5374 2 роки тому +71

      Had another warlock/sorcerer, the warlock was a servant of cthulu but didnt know it, and attended a cult meeting to learn about him. At that cult meeting it was revealed that c’thulu was going to destroy the world and so, he set out to use his warlock/sorcery powers to stop him.

    • @wuhoh5274
      @wuhoh5274 2 роки тому +16

      @@thecookiemeister5374 That's awesome and I love it and is now my favorite one

    • @SanguiVantasKnightOfSpace
      @SanguiVantasKnightOfSpace 2 роки тому +54

      I also enjoy Caring Patron/Mentally Ill or Emotionally Damaged Warlock

    • @willyeeton4390
      @willyeeton4390 2 роки тому +67

      My favorite idea is just, a married couple.
      Perhaps the patron is "young" by extraplanar entity standards and the warlock's quests serve to increase both partners' powers.
      You get to make casual references to "the wife" that only get funnier if other players don't know the full character concept yet.

    • @thecookiemeister5374
      @thecookiemeister5374 2 роки тому +9

      @@willyeeton4390 im doing this, i’ll see how it works

  • @ConvincingPeople
    @ConvincingPeople 2 роки тому +1840

    Poor C'tun Aket, saddled with a warlock who can't appreciate the catch he's got. :

    • @synonymdave
      @synonymdave 2 роки тому +29

      True

    • @skell6134
      @skell6134 Рік тому +5

      ​@@synonymdaveI mean,would you prefer to sacrifice blood or anything else tho ?

    • @jorishozee2943
      @jorishozee2943 Рік тому +12

      ​@@skell6134 I would rather sacrifice another bodily fluid

    • @skell6134
      @skell6134 Рік тому +3

      @@jorishozee2943 Exactly,lol

    • @nekole
      @nekole 9 місяців тому +6

      they don't call them the devourer for nothing ;)

  • @murpl1462
    @murpl1462 2 роки тому +3575

    Warlocks use the same primary stat as bards. Just saying.

    • @sluttyMapleSyrup
      @sluttyMapleSyrup 2 роки тому +166

      And Tieflings get a bonus to it.

    • @RottingStars.ForeverAdrift
      @RottingStars.ForeverAdrift 2 роки тому +143

      *YOU SHOULD NOT BE SAYING*

    • @shinobidaniel_12
      @shinobidaniel_12 2 роки тому

      Incest bonus for fiend warlocks?

    • @xygo6038
      @xygo6038 2 роки тому +51

      Hexblade warlock tiefling

    • @Jsay18
      @Jsay18 2 роки тому +43

      @@xygo6038 The real Gigachad Class-Race Combination that is insufferable for most (beta) players.

  • @vulgarmilitiaghost499
    @vulgarmilitiaghost499 2 роки тому +595

    This is why the church burned magic users

    • @tanith117
      @tanith117 2 роки тому +37

      Only Sky daddy magic is allowed.

    • @shinobidaniel_12
      @shinobidaniel_12 2 роки тому +16

      Yep because their PR is better

    • @nightsregalia8641
      @nightsregalia8641 2 роки тому +10

      They were jealous

    • @shinobidaniel_12
      @shinobidaniel_12 2 роки тому

      @@nightsregalia8641 priests can't fuck their gods, for good reason

    • @theenderdestruction2362
      @theenderdestruction2362 2 роки тому

      @@tanith117 the sky daddy magic is powerful why do you think in the DnD universe his children don't show up if they did THERE BE A RUCKUS A FORMLAI A BLOODY INSANITY LEGAL BATTLE OF WTF PORTIONS or atleast that what happens when I ever play a Christan paladin in my dnd sessions shit gets weird and dangerous real fast like welp that went down hill fast and now we got to leave the bloody country fast

  • @kabob0077
    @kabob0077 2 роки тому +2217

    I feel the second one is a servant of Slaanesh...

    • @ladywaffle2210
      @ladywaffle2210 2 роки тому

      Having battled the puppets of She Who Thirsts before, no, they aren't, and I'll tell you why.
      They waited to fuck.
      Slaaneshi daemonettes and cultists will have sex mid-battle.

    • @EgoTheDeranged
      @EgoTheDeranged 2 роки тому

      Heretical!

    • @EstebanGilChillington
      @EstebanGilChillington 2 роки тому +41

      Ayo?

    • @TY-PO
      @TY-PO 2 роки тому +115

      I mean, the first one is literally just Khorne or one of his lesser Daemons.

    • @justsomerandoontheinternet3147
      @justsomerandoontheinternet3147 2 роки тому +69

      Looked like he would belong to Nurgle (though that is from just appearance)

  • @normtrooper4392
    @normtrooper4392 2 роки тому +876

    Me in wizard school with student loan debts: 😐

    • @ceasefire2825
      @ceasefire2825 2 роки тому +96

      get a sugar daddy like the rest of us casters man.

    • @normtrooper4392
      @normtrooper4392 2 роки тому +65

      @@ceasefire2825 I'll be damned if I don't put this wizard scholarship to good use!

    • @ceasefire2825
      @ceasefire2825 2 роки тому +39

      @@normtrooper4392 well if you need help with the finances im sure Hadar wouldn't mind

    • @justsomeguywithahandlebarm2456
      @justsomeguywithahandlebarm2456 2 роки тому +48

      Wizard: college graduate debt slave
      Warlock: meth dealer
      Sorcerer: youtuber

    • @skeletonking2501
      @skeletonking2501 2 роки тому +2

      It’s not too late to join us

  • @heehoo3685
    @heehoo3685 2 роки тому +297

    haha jonathan, you are banging your goldly patron

  • @andrewstephenson5825
    @andrewstephenson5825 2 роки тому +813

    How did JoCat phrase it?
    Something like "You can be bossed around by a literal devil, who decided to make you their favorite person, so they're gonna be your *mommy* for a little bit"
    Seems like an accurate description of a pact like that.

    • @sentientroomba9452
      @sentientroomba9452 2 роки тому +140

      I have a warlock literally like that. They were the victim of the “sell your firstborn to the devil” trope, and after being sold, this devil basically became her mom, and gave her magic powers to not get killed while out exploring.

    • @hunterdidsomething8437
      @hunterdidsomething8437 2 роки тому

      link?

    • @NanoNovaBlast
      @NanoNovaBlast 2 роки тому +17

      @@sentientroomba9452 Tell us the backstory! Also this reminds me of of an anime with that exact premise except the demon treats them like a grandson it's called welcome to demon school iruma

    • @theenderdestruction2362
      @theenderdestruction2362 2 роки тому +7

      @@NanoNovaBlast I like that show hate the parents

    • @linkholder
      @linkholder Місяць тому

      ​@hunterdidsomething8437 what?

  • @chocmilk
    @chocmilk 2 роки тому +425

    This is C'tun Aket.
    He respects his warlocks' wishes when it comes to their bodies.
    Thus he builds relationships on a foundation of trust, not off of sexual desire.
    Be more like C'tun Aket.

    • @chocmilk
      @chocmilk 2 роки тому +1

      But if you really want to be horny anyway, you did already pay him...

    • @Przemko27Z
      @Przemko27Z Рік тому

      And he very much would fuck them should they so desire.

    • @jellyburghers895
      @jellyburghers895 Рік тому +11

      Why not both?

    • @lozm4835
      @lozm4835 7 місяців тому +18

      @@jellyburghers895 Because a relationship like that will inevitably led to someone getting hurt who isn't the enemy. If it's not already. We don't know the oritentation of the latter Warlock, after all, and it's not an offering if you're not giving something up.

    • @granadavcg6110
      @granadavcg6110 Місяць тому +1

      ​@@lozm4835actually 🤓☝️ if my memory is right the second warlock is gay it's was revealed in another comic

  • @TheSexiestGoblin
    @TheSexiestGoblin Рік тому +43

    If you're the last surviving worshiper of an eldritch deity it becomes less a patronage and more a marriage

    • @navilluscire2567
      @navilluscire2567 Рік тому +8

      Well more of a monogamous marriage really, think of some patrons as basically Roger the alien from American Dad, he can't go for just one person.

  • @locomotivefaox
    @locomotivefaox 2 роки тому +239

    Speaking from experience, godlike entities patroning lust are AMAZING in bed. But they are *very* clingy. So you probably won’t be leaving said bed.

    • @navilluscire2567
      @navilluscire2567 2 роки тому +80

      *The spirit is VERY willing but my constitution is spongy and easily bruised.*

    • @leyrua
      @leyrua 2 роки тому +36

      The moment that you realize that you've been granted phenomenal cosmic powers that you are never going to have the chance to _use._

    • @discordlexia2429
      @discordlexia2429 Рік тому +23

      @@navilluscire2567 She will use her magic to restore your body, as many times as it takes. Your mind, however...

    • @LumemDH
      @LumemDH Рік тому +9

      @@discordlexia2429 what doesn’t kill or cripple you makes you stronger.

    • @skell6134
      @skell6134 Рік тому +9

      ​@@LumemDHShe gonna let you go sooner or later so its fine,just try to enjoy process as much as physically possible and pass out when need to XD

  • @MegaFrog98
    @MegaFrog98 2 роки тому +240

    The delivery of that "shut the fuck up" is PERFECT

  • @PlayrR3D156
    @PlayrR3D156 2 роки тому +106

    I gotta respect the tentacle patron because he tried to comfort his summoner and help him not be so jealous.

    • @skell6134
      @skell6134 Рік тому +17

      True BRO
      Sad he doesnt being appreciated enough by his warlock

  • @2Potates
    @2Potates 2 роки тому +700

    Warlocks are just hipster clerics.

    • @spicysalad3013
      @spicysalad3013 2 роки тому +2

      THIS, THIS EXPLAINS IT PERFECTLY

    • @lumberluc
      @lumberluc 2 роки тому

      And reject artists

    • @PlanktonWhisperer
      @PlanktonWhisperer 2 роки тому +2

      Yes, effectively. Not least of all because their patron's power doesn't (necessarily, because you CAN be a warlock to a regular deity) come from a popularity contest.

    • @yellow8682
      @yellow8682 4 місяці тому

      ​@@lumberluc let's hope they got accepted into art school

    • @Darkworldwolf
      @Darkworldwolf 2 місяці тому

      nah they´re walking talking eldritch blasts

  • @MrIcePho3nix
    @MrIcePho3nix 2 роки тому +393

    Well why else would their spellcasting stat be Sedu- er, uh, Charisma?

  • @thegeneraljohn2895
    @thegeneraljohn2895 2 роки тому +382

    One involves the sacrifice of a vital bodily fluid to a ravenous, violent, and restless force that you shall serve for the rest of your days as an obedient agent of their will.
    The other is edgy. Know the difference.

    • @pooppoop6337
      @pooppoop6337 2 роки тому +25

      That's not what the word edgy means.
      And the joke goes,
      "And the other is C'Tun Aket."

    • @forgottendragonpriestartem3414
      @forgottendragonpriestartem3414 2 роки тому +1

      @@pooppoop6337 fuck this made me spit my tea out

    • @liamzakhaev
      @liamzakhaev 2 роки тому +36

      @@pooppoop6337 Poorly done warlocks that use C'thulikes as patrons are just grown up shadow the edgehog fans.

    • @Fulgorariancolt
      @Fulgorariancolt Рік тому

      @@liamzakhaev But I fucked Cthulhu? What was that time?

    • @PrismTheLoser
      @PrismTheLoser Рік тому +2

      @@liamzakhaevYeah, shadow’s good, just not in his own game or anything after sonic 06

  • @skylordthe1st
    @skylordthe1st 2 роки тому +98

    Well it's like the old saying goes if it works it works.

  • @spicysalad3013
    @spicysalad3013 2 роки тому +44

    Plot twist: C'tun Aket never required blood sacrifices, they're just a flexible patron and take any kind of passionate sacrifice

    • @Aaa-vp6ug
      @Aaa-vp6ug Рік тому +6

      Like hair? Prayers? Clothes? Actually, what on earth would C’tun Aket do with clothes?

    • @ironcloud3463
      @ironcloud3463 Місяць тому +1

      Mmmmmm cloth yummy

  • @SomeBlokeOrWhatever
    @SomeBlokeOrWhatever 2 роки тому +147

    My 'lock's patron is a _giant nerd_ except ancient and all powerful. Of course, as her servant and student, my 'lock is _also_ a giant nerd though knowing a lot less than she does. They often spend a lot of time with just him being an excitable dork and her teaching him ancient knowledge.

    • @jorgeeldragon4704
      @jorgeeldragon4704 2 роки тому +12

      I ship it
      /hj, I don't know the characters, but still

    • @reesedesn71
      @reesedesn71 2 роки тому +15

      Neat, you have genderbent Odin as your patron
      Or just regular Odin. It all leads back to Odin

    • @pooppoop6337
      @pooppoop6337 2 роки тому +15

      @@reesedesn71 He better hope his patron isn't Odin. Life expectancy around Odin is... limited.

    • @forgottendragonpriestartem3414
      @forgottendragonpriestartem3414 2 роки тому +13

      Why do I have the feeling that the ancient knowledge is just the two talking about the elder scrolls

    • @leobuana7430
      @leobuana7430 11 місяців тому +4

      ​​@@forgottendragonpriestartem3414 because you realize that some people now are to young to know that Tekken used to have a Tiny Bowser like dragon in their fighter roster

  • @lotus412
    @lotus412 2 роки тому +26

    Poor C'tun Aket, he tried only to be told to shut up, give the poor thing a hug.

  • @ricecooker7037
    @ricecooker7037 Рік тому +15

    I mean at least the ravenous one is willing to help his bro out even if it’s not his job.

  • @USER_S4V4NT
    @USER_S4V4NT 2 роки тому +67

    psa for all warlocks, fornicating with your ghost will not refill your super energy

    • @O-bearer-mine
      @O-bearer-mine 2 роки тому +10

      Thank you destiny comrade
      May the light bless you for this knowledge,
      And may the cleanX save your ghost

    • @cienkitv2854
      @cienkitv2854 2 роки тому +11

      Fate stay night moment

    • @B_4035mn
      @B_4035mn 2 місяці тому +2

      Doesn't that depend on the DM, and on the character, and of course the patron?

    • @miguelmoura9345
      @miguelmoura9345 Місяць тому

      ​@@cienkitv2854More like the inverse

  • @larsthememelord3383
    @larsthememelord3383 2 роки тому +15

    and then theres timothy the depressed you pay him in tears and allowing timothy to vent about his struggles to you

  • @alexisvulfiaawenfern8112
    @alexisvulfiaawenfern8112 2 роки тому +37

    Different patrons can be paid by different kinds of bodily fluids.

  • @TheTwiton
    @TheTwiton 2 роки тому +90

    No other class offers this, because it's considered 'heretical' and 'blasphemy' for a Cleric or Paladin to be in a relationship with their deity. Warlocks? You get whatever you want, it's flexible.

    • @discordlexia2429
      @discordlexia2429 Рік тому +14

      I mean, if I was a god, I'd mommydom my clerics. You haven't read much Hellenistic mythology, have you?

    • @Mortablunt
      @Mortablunt Рік тому +33

      My favorite dynamic is when Paladin, Cleric, Warlock all have the same god and get annoyed at each other for handling them wrong. Paladin essentially tries to live like a mini version of their god, Cleric is ultra reverent, meanwhile, Warlock is pretty much a parttimer with a casual relationship to the boss, isn't all that reverent, and sometimes just chills with their avatar off hours, much to the shock and confusion of Cleric and Paladin.

    • @skell6134
      @skell6134 Рік тому +2

      ​@@discordlexia2429Talks about it with D&D deity's ok

  • @erdervv
    @erdervv 2 роки тому +59

    "The divide betwen mortals and gods becomes more of a suggestion after you outlive your 4th god, one could not be wrong in calling you my warlock"
    "You don't give me powers though"
    "No, but i taught you magic, fed you and cleaned after you"
    "No, the entrapped soul of one of your enemies in the basement cleaned after me"
    "Still not negating the first two parts i see"
    "Still not trecking through half a continent to get you some worthless piece of rock, Martin, you can teleport, get it yourself"
    "I see, well, seems you won't be getting pocket money this month"
    "You don't pay me, and i'm 23, i'm a bit old to be given pocket money"
    "...uh, that is true, true...well, in that case, go get it or else...I'll even teleport you halfway, because i'm nice like that"
    When the lich is your surrogate father figure.

    • @Aaa-vp6ug
      @Aaa-vp6ug Рік тому +7

      Martin: keeper of pocket money
      (Sounds like an r/bossfights thing)

    • @erdervv
      @erdervv Рік тому +7

      @@Aaa-vp6ug "Defeat the evil economancer to fix the rampant inflation" type of vibe

  • @MagnusTonitrum117
    @MagnusTonitrum117 2 роки тому +80

    I’d take both of them

  • @irishspartanstudios
    @irishspartanstudios 2 роки тому +45

    Funny enough I have two warlock's and they fall into these two extremes. One has a Fey (almost like a Fey demon) patron that's essentially his partner and the other serves an anchient leviathan.

  • @Dan-zc3ou
    @Dan-zc3ou 2 роки тому +15

    Every being in this comic is a catch tbh

  • @adorabomber123
    @adorabomber123 2 роки тому +35

    And here we see another encounter between two different chaos psykers. One happens to follow Nurgle, with strange offering of blood, and the other follows Slaanesh.

    • @Wizard_Pepsi
      @Wizard_Pepsi 6 місяців тому

      I’d argue Korn is more accurate due to the blood sacrifice, but the patron is green soo

    • @thien0300
      @thien0300 5 місяців тому

      Blood is one of the dirtiest liquid so it fit, also you know, plague and blood go hand in hand.

    • @B_4035mn
      @B_4035mn 2 місяці тому

      @@thien0300 **Partially drains the blood of the Slaanesh worshipper every now and then, and gives it to Nurgle because their blood is filled with stds.**

  • @navilluscire2567
    @navilluscire2567 2 роки тому +292

    I like to imagine some patrons as basically harem anime protagonists, seeking out people to be their warlocks to grow their well...harem.
    And yes this includes occasional special "visits" between patron and warlocks...preferably in private quarters *on a sturdy bed* with scented candles. (or not so private, some patrons are just freaky like that..)

    • @Flamme-Sanabi
      @Flamme-Sanabi 2 роки тому +15

      I will steal this idea.

    • @Mortablunt
      @Mortablunt Рік тому +7

      That sounds kinda like how Mystra "visits" her chosens.

  • @polasamierwahsh421
    @polasamierwahsh421 2 роки тому +39

    Some warlocks are just too lucky

  • @sylesmaddox5171
    @sylesmaddox5171 Рік тому +5

    This is why you need to know which patron you're making a deal for, and work around the problems for it.

  • @lordinquisitorrichard8808
    @lordinquisitorrichard8808 2 роки тому +33

    I mean, Charisma is used for more than just seduction, but let's be honest it's mainly what people want

  • @holidayoreoreal
    @holidayoreoreal 2 роки тому +12

    And then there's the one with the talking sword

  • @danijellino1921
    @danijellino1921 2 роки тому +16

    Tbh i like the first type more.
    I like people with a flair for the dramatic or no chill at all.

  • @theretrodragonyope
    @theretrodragonyope 2 роки тому +35

    But the brofriendship is real between the two.

  • @stirpiano
    @stirpiano 2 роки тому +24

    It was already insanely funny but that last line really blew it all up

  • @OneBiasedOpinion
    @OneBiasedOpinion 2 роки тому +6

    This is what happens when the Bard multiclasses.

  • @Pupal_Dugal
    @Pupal_Dugal Рік тому +5

    My Kobolds patron is his wife that was polymorphed into a sword they now seek a way to reverse the process

    • @ciprianpasca7738
      @ciprianpasca7738 2 місяці тому

      Why is it so similar to that one isekai anime with a guy reincarnated as a sword.

  • @weeaboojones5688
    @weeaboojones5688 2 роки тому +7

    If you dig deeper, apparently green warlocks lore is that he's actually gay, so the whole thing is in fact torturous to him

  • @TheVGaming-
    @TheVGaming- 2 роки тому +14

    The trailer total war kept hidden from us!

  • @CreativityNull
    @CreativityNull 2 роки тому +4

    I can't believe I didn't see this before, but yeah, the second warlock is basically just Bayonetta in attitude lol. I love it.

    • @smithsmith1956
      @smithsmith1956 2 роки тому +1

      I love that game. Tried getting a physical copy of the first for switch, but no dice. I used to play it in front of a coworker who was a self proclaimed male feminist. He absolutely HATED the series. He unironically called me a misogynist for liking it and playing it so much.

  • @mrsejd3446
    @mrsejd3446 2 роки тому +107

    I believe that the green warlock is supposed to be asexual... so that's a bummer for him.

    • @crowbell3059
      @crowbell3059 2 роки тому +11

      Ohhhhh that's gotta hurt

    • @vassilus915
      @vassilus915 Рік тому +4

      I mean, he said with privacy. Not "never at all".

    • @Rhino-Prime
      @Rhino-Prime Рік тому +2

      The path of magic leads to strange abilities like the one that let's you transform into other creatures

    • @Sh1garak1s_alt
      @Sh1garak1s_alt Рік тому +8

      y’all do realize being ace only means you don’t feel sexual *attraction* and some aces, do feel it, just in very small amounts-
      -an ace

    • @crowbell3059
      @crowbell3059 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@Sh1garak1s_altfair but we found out later that he's gay
      So my original point stands
      That sucks

  • @nickieBurke
    @nickieBurke Рік тому +3

    but like how good he gotta be to satisfy a whole PATRON at least!?

  • @imranicanovic1154
    @imranicanovic1154 2 роки тому +7

    The best part is, if I remember correctly, that warlock is gay. What a hilarious twist to it all.

  • @SkoomaGodDovahkiin666
    @SkoomaGodDovahkiin666 Рік тому +8

    There is a third, Actually
    Fey Patron: Here, dearie. I packed you some lunch and your favorite pillow.
    Warlock: Thanks mom.
    Four, actually.
    Undying(Probably Acererak): Yo, Could you do me a solid?
    Warlock: Fine.
    And then there's the Great wyrm Patron
    Great Wyrm: You will prove yourself worthy of your ancestry, even if it kills you....
    Warlock: *Is dying from arcane fire*

    • @crowbell3059
      @crowbell3059 2 місяці тому

      I'm playing the forth.
      Doot the grave Walker
      He and acererak are BFFs but he says it in a way where no one believes him

  • @Gauge_BUNN.E
    @Gauge_BUNN.E 2 роки тому +274

    For a woman, you do a great boy voice.

    • @mr.cauliflower3536
      @mr.cauliflower3536 2 роки тому +15

      Wait it IS the same VA

    • @Gauge_BUNN.E
      @Gauge_BUNN.E 2 роки тому +3

      @@mr.cauliflower3536 what?

    • @goldmine2619
      @goldmine2619 2 роки тому +4

      It’s possible she has another VA? I mean there is no true proof she isn’t having help

    • @mr.cauliflower3536
      @mr.cauliflower3536 2 роки тому +16

      @@Gauge_BUNN.E It sounds like it is the same person performing both male and female, but the male voice sounds so masculine I initially thought it was different VAs.

    • @Jsay18
      @Jsay18 2 роки тому +1

      Its because it is a man lul.

  • @icetide9411
    @icetide9411 Рік тому +3

    Poor C'Tun Aket the Ravenous, he got shot down so quick. I mean he's ancient and probably hasn't had any fun in a long time, and obviously he'd prefer his best worshipper.

  • @neonthepartycat4990
    @neonthepartycat4990 2 роки тому +4

    Last patron I had quite literally turned me into a death knight for the final bbeg. Then I had to sit back as my party had to put down a horrific new enemy as this was a homebrew session...I'm glad to say I had snacks. And I laughed with the dm as my party nearly got wiped...good times

  • @flaetsbnort
    @flaetsbnort Рік тому +3

    Poor C'tun Aket is ravenous for a hug

  • @Monsterthatsunderyourbed
    @Monsterthatsunderyourbed 2 роки тому +211

    That voice has such amazing range, how'd you get it to be like that?

    • @sirreginaldfishingtonxvii6149
      @sirreginaldfishingtonxvii6149 2 роки тому +55

      Offerings of *insert bodily fluid of choice* to the elder gods, obviously

    • @katyungodly
      @katyungodly 2 роки тому +26

      Voice training

    • @leyrua
      @leyrua 2 роки тому +13

      ​@@katyungodly With that approach, you must play a _wizard._ 😉

    • @braindavidgilbert3147
      @braindavidgilbert3147 2 роки тому +5

      Its the power of being trans

    • @colbyboucher6391
      @colbyboucher6391 Рік тому +1

      The secret is TransVoiceLessons here on YT pretty much

  • @greentwo6845
    @greentwo6845 2 роки тому +18

    I would want but, okay.

  • @benarmitage4037
    @benarmitage4037 Рік тому +3

    I made a patron who’s pact with their warlock was that they’d play DND with them on saturdays. So every Saturday in campaign, our warlock was busy playing as another character I’d made for him. He plays a 4th level wizard named Dronicus, but often called Droner because of how much he likes to rant.

  • @Ridlay_
    @Ridlay_ Рік тому +2

    The freeze frame of the two of them just staring at the other is hilarious. They really got the whole squad laughing.

  • @phylippezimmermannpaquin2062
    @phylippezimmermannpaquin2062 2 роки тому +9

    hey if hes gana pass on that offer ill take it for him

  • @IrvingIV
    @IrvingIV 2 роки тому +3

    I see that warlock multiclassed into bard like my boi elvis.

  • @guidomista9565
    @guidomista9565 8 місяців тому +2

    Either you slay the god
    Or you lay the god

  • @Guardsman_Shaxx
    @Guardsman_Shaxx 2 роки тому +1

    Not my warlock managing to fit into both these categories because he forgot to make sacrifices to his great old one patron who sold his contract to a succubus

  • @fadiltahiraj3196
    @fadiltahiraj3196 2 роки тому +2

    There is a 3 one where the two are basacly just best friends vibing with echother

  • @klingon401
    @klingon401 2 роки тому +3

    Credit where credits due, the first guy poured his soul into delivering those voice lines

  • @pointless3446
    @pointless3446 Рік тому +2

    A good enough top can tame god himself

  • @user-cx6kt3ku2f
    @user-cx6kt3ku2f 9 місяців тому +2

    This leaves out the great old one who’s warlocks basically stumbled on to them, have been turned half insane and pray they never meet him again because they know their brain would melt and drip out of their nose.

    • @B_4035mn
      @B_4035mn 2 місяці тому

      Bruh, imagine it's a emergency and they're forced to use their patron, only for their head to *immediately* explode upon casting a singular spell.

  • @lordhades8025
    @lordhades8025 2 роки тому +240

    My Warlock has a pact with the goddess of Chaos and they basically have a close friendship (not THAT close). She even got really excited when she found out my Warlock had proposed to his girlfriend. Then she apologised that she couldn't make it to the wedding since she had to go find out where Bahamut was being locked up so that he could maybe deal with his son that is the BBEG of the campaign.
    I've never really liked the idea of the sexual arrangement stereotype of Warlocks and their Patrons. Why cant stuff like this be more wholesome?

    • @luxiconalana6187
      @luxiconalana6187 2 роки тому +62

      because warlocks aren't meant to be wholesome. A wholesome warlock is just a cleric.

    • @glendisshiko8182
      @glendisshiko8182 2 роки тому +6

      @@luxiconalana6187 What about unicorn warlocks

    • @luxiconalana6187
      @luxiconalana6187 2 роки тому +45

      @@glendisshiko8182 You don't wanna know the horrid truths about unicorns. Warlocks know, and their soul is forever tarnished for it.

    • @rainedans8684
      @rainedans8684 2 роки тому +12

      What about a Warlock......with a Golden Retriever Demon? That'll probablybe fun

    • @irishspartanstudios
      @irishspartanstudios 2 роки тому +14

      The pact one of my warlocks has is with a Fey being that is something resembling a partner. They actually had a kid together, a strange Tiefling of some kind who's another character of mine, but she was rather absent from his life. They weren't exactly partners but more so trusted acquaintances, having the kid as an arrangement for something and not love - despite loving him. After a ritual that caused him to lose a lot of his memories and teleported him away, she appeared before him enraged but after learning what happened she got all sympathetic and decided to help him out.
      Does that count as wholesome? I don't really know.

  • @Tanka036
    @Tanka036 Рік тому +1

    Patron who is trying to get back a handful of silver, thus preventing the warlock from dying and warlock who adamantly refuses to pay up

  • @Soviniy
    @Soviniy 2 роки тому +62

    Oh nooo, poor C'tun Aket. Don't worry, his mortal eyes are just too weak to see you for your true self.
    Anyway, I have 2 warlocks! One is a now-vampire air genasi who accidentally allowed his body to become a vessel for a powerful shapeshifter that was sealed in an ice mirror by melting and drinking a tiny piece of it. He's bitter and annoyed about the consequence, but wants what he was promised anyway, so cooperates.
    The other is a very sweet moon elven noble with a divine soul/blood who met and befriended a Celestial loyal to the Seldarine. He unwittingly accepted its token of friendship as a brand on his forehead that made him the youngest elf in his communityt o have multiclassed, at the age of 7. He hides the mark under a circlet, which are his warlock and sorcerer focuses respectively, and happily does anything his friend asks.

    • @Aaa-vp6ug
      @Aaa-vp6ug Рік тому

      I’ve got a Bardblade (Hexbard) who is more of a fighter than a bard. Idk where to go with this

  • @pulledpork9778
    @pulledpork9778 Рік тому +2

    One of my favorite characters I made was a warlock with a patron named Company that just really likes coins. Like my warlock has to convince people to sign off their life force in contracts to get them, sure, but Co. doesn’t want people’s souls or anything, they just like having a large amount of coins.
    “Hey do you want cool powers”
    “Hell yeah, what do I gotta do to earn them”
    “Can you give me shiny stuff”
    “Aight bet”

  • @LunaNK22
    @LunaNK22 2 місяці тому +1

    Warlocks are just people who slept with their teachers for good grades

  • @occidziggys9496
    @occidziggys9496 Рік тому +2

    I would give a shot at the offer of C'TUN AKET I mean you never know

  • @meese9140
    @meese9140 2 роки тому +1

    And when you combine the two types you get the plot of Venom

  • @nightcollapse
    @nightcollapse 2 роки тому +1

    He did say ravenous, so feed that boy some cake

  • @AnimeFan84
    @AnimeFan84 2 роки тому +2

    When a bard in dnd switch roles with the warlock

  • @TheOneWhoSucks
    @TheOneWhoSucks Рік тому +2

    I made two warlock characters.
    One was Conduit Thell, a Gnoll who gained enlightenment by becoming a dimensional anchor for Xorexan, the primordial creature of pure knowledge.
    The other was Kathus, a retired prostitute who paid off his debts by becoming the consort to a deposed Drow Matriarch.

  • @mrjanemba
    @mrjanemba 2 роки тому +2

    Me, playing a celestial warlock:
    *GOD SAID HE'S GONNA TEACH ME KARATE*

  • @DivineBloodBag
    @DivineBloodBag 2 роки тому +1

    bro I'd accept either of they handing out demonic loving bro

  • @omniscientcrab3428
    @omniscientcrab3428 Місяць тому

    There's a fourth: hey dude I'm gonna need some powers in exchange for letting you crash on my couch

  • @shadowofhawk55
    @shadowofhawk55 2 роки тому +35

    And then there’s my patron’s pact
    “Alright Mistress, I’ve got half the city under my control and my necrotic crystal farm is up and running, profits from that should begin to show by the third quarter. Now, if you look at the gold income I intend to increase that exponentially by investing in some realestate and local businesses, and possibly a few merchant fleets. Oh, and…..”
    “And what are you doing to fight the Lich?”
    “I’ve got twenty guys with magic weapons and my best assassin ready to assist the War when the time comes,”
    (A Quasit with a magic wand appears) “sorry I’m late boss, I saw this kid doing nothing and she seemed like she deserved to die,”

  • @insidebriansmind
    @insidebriansmind 2 роки тому +12

    Why didn't you look at me during the summoning?

  • @King_Kruel
    @King_Kruel 2 місяці тому +1

    I mean, we all already knew warlocks are sugar babies

  • @mediocremouse405
    @mediocremouse405 Рік тому +1

    Never wanted to play a witch hunting cleric so bad

  • @PrismTheLoser
    @PrismTheLoser Рік тому +1

    Honestly, C’Tun Aket seems like a pretty cool dude. I’d rather have them as a patron than some some magic horndog.

  • @charleshaskell2056
    @charleshaskell2056 Рік тому +1

    Three. There's also the "uhhh... the last guy had this weird gun." typically servants of Hazard.

  • @witherwolf3316
    @witherwolf3316 2 роки тому +1

    *Does incredibly complex and Corey ritual to patron*
    "Now watch this drive."

  • @YoutubeCommonman_Totas
    @YoutubeCommonman_Totas Місяць тому +1

    My patron can beat up your patron.

  • @GayLPer
    @GayLPer 8 місяців тому +1

    I only see one type of warlock in this video.
    It's just that one's a coward XD

  • @chloesilverwolf739
    @chloesilverwolf739 2 роки тому +2

    Ngl my warlock's patron is a blahaj

  • @Rosemarytwigs
    @Rosemarytwigs 9 місяців тому +1

    i keep coming back
    I am genuinely obsessed with this video

  • @littelfoxypuppet8624
    @littelfoxypuppet8624 2 роки тому +1

    what ever was in his mind in that moment when he offred that *im down*

  • @rayclawicefire2503
    @rayclawicefire2503 2 роки тому +1

    Ah yes the The pact where your Patron gets your first born child if you know what mean.

  • @biznestelch2941
    @biznestelch2941 2 роки тому +1

    When you wanted to be a bard, but found it boring so you started reclassify into warlock, but hey why not have some fun while your at it

  • @--CHARLIE--
    @--CHARLIE-- 2 роки тому +4

    Meanwhile there's my warlock whose patron shares a body with her and also her divine guide (aasimar racial ability). The three of them all control the one body at the same time. No breaks. They also don't know how to fix it. Everyone else just thinks their insane. Also all of them are wildly different alignments (LG, CG, CE). I miss playing them, even if it wasn't for very long.

  • @theimperviousfirecracker7934
    @theimperviousfirecracker7934 2 роки тому +5

    idk if a player would ever make a warlock-patron relationship like that, in fear of being judged and/or kink shamed by the entire universe. Also, it would be very awkward between the Player and the DM to have to, uh... act that out.
    ...but oh how we dream.

    • @thevoiceinyourhead7215
      @thevoiceinyourhead7215 2 роки тому

      I’ll make it work…
      My party tends to find a way, knowing my group of freaks, this situation has to be an inevitability eventually

    • @theimperviousfirecracker7934
      @theimperviousfirecracker7934 2 роки тому

      @FilippoAndMind Oh no, I didn't mean it get's f-cked when the roleplaying happens, I just mean it must be awkward.. for everyone.

  • @Bergpoweryt
    @Bergpoweryt 2 роки тому +1

    The worms look so confused lol

  • @alfatazer_8991
    @alfatazer_8991 2 роки тому +1

    Life's not fair. Even for an all powerful warlock.

  • @wolfstrike3758
    @wolfstrike3758 2 роки тому +1

    He won the battle but lost the war