As SOON as she said, "I can only pull white boys with this hair," I looked over at my fiancée and we were both like 👀 Cause she's 100% right! Been together nearly 5 years now 💕
If we're going to be honest people (black men especially) were more upset at the "I can only pull white boys" comment than her talking about her experiences with colorism and texturism.
Bc they know it’s true. Black men (BM) knew that what she said was the honest truth but bm hate to admit it (I mean, like Camryn said, a bm created a dating profile of lipglossssss to try and prove their “point”). Instead of saying “shit, we bm got work to do” their first instinct was to antagonize her and to send her hate speech
The same statement is true for me white men love my natural hair/or when I wear it in Braids Black men have never approached me with my Natural hair out ever Then they get mad when I’m “seen” speaking to a white man. Talking about I need a black man/but I wasn’t “wanted” till another race wanted me
Probably, the reason they took her off tic tok; is they make billions of dollars off us hating our natural hair. For example, include overpriced products, weaves, wigs, extensions, hot comb, blow dryers, rollers, and salons. The entire beauty industry would crash if we accepted our hair without manipulation. Everybody has a stake in our insecurity, it is their security$$$$$$!
MESSAGE 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤 Black Hair Shame is economically profitable to every other race. I fully support Lipgloss. She is setting a powerful example and teaching the masses that self acceptance is freedom.
It's funny her page gets banned for uplifting black hair, but other TikTokers who make racist content against black women don't get banned. Funny, but not funny HAHA, funny weird!
Its not cause of the content its cause of the response... aka the triggered black men who reported her. If no one reported her, her content wouldnt have unjustly been banned. Ppl suck, thats all.
Tiktok is designed for toxicity. Anything positive or calls out negatively always results in blaming the victim or causing more drama to stay on the app. It's Chinese spyware and it's designed to lower attention span amongst other things. Its best to uninstall that app and do not engage.
I just want to be clear, length on 4C hair does make a difference, it does show, but it is presented as fullness and density, not hang. And it's the hang of non-Black hair we're still chasing with our natural hair.
I have made peace with knowing that bigness shows that my hair is long to others. It really does take a while to get there but when you do it’s amazing. It’s just up to everyone to realize that all ppl know that big, non-see through hair = long hair.
But the hatred of shrinkage is in and of itself obsession with length. The shrinkage prevents length from being obvious. So it’s all one and the same. No one hates shrinkage just for the sake of hating it.
A black man at my job told me when he saw my fro He thought I was wearing a wig . Then says “I saw your edges then realized You’re not full ni””a . That’s not ni””a hair “ when I tell you my jaw dropped LMFAOOOO. Because growing up my mom would call my hair nappy bc she didn’t know how to work with it, so I would’ve never thought someone would think I’m mixed . People are weird
I also feel like a lot of black people are disconnected with the basic care of their hair. My mom doesn’t even like to wash her own hair by herself. We’ve been so programmed to hide the hair we naturally have that when we see it , it’s something like a freak show. Everyone wants to know how you did it , everyone wants to touch , everyone wants to double look everyone wants to compliment. We were never taught how to take care of it and live comfortably so it looks so foreign
I agree with we been so programmed to hide the hair. My mom has literally told me multiple times don't let no one see your natural hair length. Like how is that bad thing, I'm supposed to continue adding fake hair in hopes that they believe me and think I'm beautiful
@@shaniaa7477 well she's just looking out for you based on Her experience during Her generation. Its up to you to break out of that mold and surpass her conformities. Whateber you choose, please take yourself lightly and enjoy your journey.💫
@@deenad3562 agreed it was passed down to her. My mom hated natural hair and the more she seen me wearing mine she decided to go natural and she loves it, she had to unlearn a lot, there’s still some insecurities because she won’t wear it out in public unless she blows it out.
Exactly, this is the bulk of the problem. Most of us have no experience styling and caring for our hair on its own terms. Even when we go natural, we're often still operating on the foundation of what straight hair does. When I started evaluating the specific qualities and abilities of MY hair, I found that all of a sudden I could style my hair and like how it looks. Once you start appreciating what your hair CAN do instead of being frustrated/disappointed by what it DOESN'T do, it all starts to come together.
This reminds me of the time when I was new at my current job and I had a wet blown out fro tucked back in a headband. This nurse has the audacity mind you that she is grown over 40 and only wears wigs teased me in front of the whole office saying my hair isn’t nice and that we work in front of white people. The anti blackness is strong with this community with both genders of black people. I was so embarrassed and mad when she did this. I still work there and ignore the eff out of her.
@@KerriganTisdale this was last year when I first started. I thought about going to HR but I had a heart and didn’t want to cause drama being that I was a new employee.
I'm surprised you didn't go more into detail with the natural hair community's obsession with "defining" our hair. These girls will spend hundreds of dollars on products that with make their type 4 hair look like a looser texture. Even in these "big chop" videos the girls will chop off their relaxed hair and then immediately start defining their short twa. Like what's the point of doing the big chop and "embracing" your natural hair if you can't even walk out the house unless its defined.
Omg I honestly hated defining my hair. That shit had a chokehold on me for years. I love how my hair looks right after I wash it in all it's fluffy and frizziness.
Yoooo this hits home for me. I did a big chop half a year ago and I realized how pressured I felt to define my curls and how if my curls weren’t defined I felt like it looked frizzy or just like a fro, but then I asked myself, why am I so afraid to wear my hair in an undefined curl fro? And I realize it’s because all I see around me and in media is DEFINE UR CURLS. But watching Lipgloss inspired me to embrace how my hair really naturally comes out my head. There are definitely some defined pieces but the rest is it’s lovely fluffy self. And I’m practicing exposing myself to my hair in it’s real natural state so I feel less ugly whenever it’s not defined. Cuz that’s true natural hair,
Yesssss!! The only black man to complement my natural 4th day Afro when it was super short was my now husband. Before I ran into him only white, mix and men of Spanish decent would approach me. Even my brothers would tell me to go get a blow out or go get some bundles… Over the years my hair has gotten really long and I prefer stretched updos. I was wearing one and had to inform a group of fools(bm) at a gas station that I wasn’t mix and it was in insult to say I must be mixed when im not. I told them the next time you see a women with nice hair simply tell her you like her hair. Black women don’t have to be mixed to have long beautiful hair, and all hair is good hair if you take care of it. Recently I wore my hair to work in a wash in go, and a coworker who im actually cool with laughed at me when I took off my hairnet saying his hair was longer than mine. He has locs that touch his shoulders. I didn’t even say a word to him I just reached back and pulled my hair down my back and watched his mouth fall open. I then explained to him that it doesn’t matter how long my hair get if I let it shrink up it always shrinks up above my shoulders… he was too stun to speak but pulled me aside outside before I got in my car and apologized… smh black men in 2022 still don’t understand how our hair works
the most kinda dreadful thing i was avoiding while learning to like my hair was the comments from other men saying their hair is longer. One super ignorant because i had to start over meaning yes it’s gonna be short but they wouldn’t care i guess and secondly why does it need to be stated? goes back to how they think it’s feminine to have long hair or else it wouldn’t be funny or they wouldn’t make fun of women for having short hair. it sucks but one day i’ll get the hang of it and all the other women who need to start over or just want to wear their hair shrunken
It’s honestly sad af. The disrespect the same hair that grows out of their own scalp unless it’s long and showing it’s length.. self hate at its finest
@@quinnalame and don’t let that even bother you. That’s weak men mentality, that speaks on anyones hair length.. I know some women who prefer short pixie styles. I just hope that these mens daughters don’t have to deal with men like them
I big chopped at age 12 (in 2012) and it hasn't been longer than a few inches in the last decade. It drives the older women in my family crazy how content I've been with my nappy twa.
I loved this video. I was watching Married at First Sight (the new San Diego season) and one of the black men on there was excited with who he was matched with for a wife. His wife is obviously biracial and has very long hair. He made a point to express that she was a dream wife because she was thin, beautiful, and HAD A BUNCH OF HAIR!! I swear no other race of men obsess over women's hair like BLACK MEN. Also, Lip Gloss is a beautiful girl and I think she pulls off the short 4C hair so well.
Yeah, I’m not familiar with her outside of the one Tik Tok so I don’t know what hairstyles she normally wears but I think she looks so cute with her hair like that. It really fits her & looks very flattering. It literally looks how I would assume she “naturally” would wear her hair everyday
Yea and it's like imagine if people said "oh she pulls off straight hair so well" to a white person? I Can't stand people making us be so strange and weird
as someone who doesn't want to wear weave or makeup i've come to realise that black women try extra hard in this department, white girls wake up and go out to proms looking all normal and it's ok but black women have been programmed that that isn't enough , i rmr as a little girl everytime we had to go to an occasion weave was put in my head subconsciously telling me that my hair isn't good enough to go out with and i was fine with that until now that i can't wear weave(also bc it pulls my hair out) when i see a BW at her prettiest at her most glammed up she's always wearing heavy insta makeup and a WIG/WEAVE. I am not hating on these women but lipgloss is bringing this to my attention. White women never have to put themselves through these hoops. Everyone is talking about body positivity but what about 4c hair. The hate against it is something deeply internalized among blacks , i myself whenever i'm fantasy i always picture myself with longer hair wishing it would be Camryn's length. If black woman collectively put less effort in like the white ppl then maybe we can normalize some things, just like how black ppl are always acting strong so now we're expeccted to be strong even when we're just any normal human.
This is a terrific comment and I absolutely agree. We need to normalize Black Femininity. You are right and Lipgloss is spot on in noticing that White women are secure in expressing their femininity. They definitely start wearing makeup at young ages but they are free from the pressure to wear full on makeup contouring, lashes and wigs, weaves and hairpieces that young Black girls often conform to in order to be deemed a “baddie” or pretty. White girl just pulls her hair up into a ponytail, gets dressed and skips out the door to start her day. Black girl feels pressure to do an entire Red Carpet makeup, hair and fashion presentation in order to be seen as worthy, valuable and attractive. Something is very wrong. I am grateful to Lipgloss for pointing out these differences in race, beauty and self esteem. Lipgloss is presenting observations whose utterances are long overdue. It’s about damn time somebody broke away from the herd mentality to question the why behind the behaviors instead of just blindly going along with it.
@@Listening_2_Still_Small_Voice Thissss, I used to do a wash n go constantly because I have 3c hair and felt like I need to be completely defined but now I simply walk out the house with just oils and water in my hair and brushed in a puff.
Yes like I saw a transformation done on a 15yr old girl and omfg they put her in HEAVY glam makeup and people were saying it’s age appropriate and her mother even said she looks her age nowwww??? Why can’t black little girls/ women not be naturally glammed up or not glammed up in general?
@@kimmieyc6476 4c hair here, just have to say wow congrats for breaking out of that mindset, I still battle the idea that defining my curls will prove to everyone the 4c hair is valuable, wishing u all the best❤
@@florencee3324 rightttt, and why can't black girls look like GIRLS and not women, teenagers are still kids 🤦♀️I don't wear makeup or get glammed up and I'm constantly compared to my peers who do, they say I look like "stupidness"(a baby) compared to them but I dont see anything wrong in looking young
i used to care so much about my hair length and try all these crazy methods to grow it faster and keep it stretched all the time. then a youtuber (i think GreenHairBeauty) kind of emphasised that health>length. good hair is healthy hair no matter what texture or length it is.
I stretch my hair with braid/twist outs simply because my shrinkage is so much, that if I let it dry with no manipulation, my hair tangles and it becomes a difficult task to manage later on in the week. If it wasn’t for the knots I get, I would love to just moisturize my hair, and be on my merrily way. (I have type 4 hair).
Yeah I notice the people usually “calling out” others for hating their shrinkage are people who don’t have dense 4C hair. Nevermind acceptance, my hair BREAKS, and it is incredibly painful to even try and part so I can moisturize and do self care. At the end of the day it’s my body my hair, and even my damn shrinkage is political. I decided I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks and as a black woman it’s my legacy and right to do what is best for me
That's for me too. If I just leave it alone, my hair gets tangles EVEN MORE. So of course I have to use a detangler and a curl activator and finger comb, so that my hair can be more manageable
The tangling is real and exhausting. If I wait more than 30 min after washing to work on it, it's becomes a nightmare. It is demoralizing to comb your hair carefully and hair still comes out or it's tangled after you just ran a comb through it. I've spent so many days in my house crying. My outfit is fire but my hair is a big no. Sometimes I get mad that I was born with a beautiful face, wiry 4c hair and a apple shape.
Gosh Lipgloss looked absolutely gorgeous. I was literally gawking. Her skin, her hair, the body!! I love this for her and anyone who has the strength and the confidence to be their naturally beautiful self!!!! I wana join but I’m sisterlocd
Im from the Caribbean and ive gotten praise and love from both men and women in my country. My father was a long hair natural, who didnt like his type 3 curls so he would always pick his curls out for body and length, he prefered type 4 hair and would always praise my hair so i never relaxed, wore wigs, never even had braids. Upon moving to the States however, thats when the hate began. Most bm ignore me or laugh. I've even had bw with their pink wigs, long nails, big slicked edges, laugh at my fro. I dont curl define and i never slicked my edges. I remember going on the subway and got on a train. Im the only natural with a fro and i heard laughter, a group of 3-5 black girls pointing and laughing me, laughing at my hair. We were the only bw in that car. They were either relaxed or wigged up. It didnt make me ashamed but it made me sad how deep the self hate goes. I would say slavery did cause this self hate, but WE have continued it. It's not white people who tell me my hair is nappy and i need a relaxer or weave. Its black women. It's black men. We are the problem and only we can free ourselves from this mental slavery.
I agree with the whole video especially on the length part, but skin complexion can also play a part in how one is treated while having 4c hair. I am half white, my mom’s black my dad is white & my mom has spent most of her life trying to love her hair. Her entire life she’s been bullied for being the dark skinned “nappy headed” little girl. Yet her sister who has light skin and 4c hair is never called nappy headed, in fact people compliment her hair more when their hair is the same. My hair is like 3b/3c so ik it isnt my place to be here, but i just came to say yalls hair is absolutely gorgeous. That’s also one thing my dad is always complimenting my mom about is her hair and how versatile it is, she’s always doing something new with it that my hair can’t accomplish. I hope yall know you are all beautiful the way you are
THIS IS SO TRUE I do notice in the natural hair community, people get treated way differently based on their skin tone along with their hair texture, like for example, a dark skin with type three hair, everyone would ask them “is that your real hair?” “what are you mixed with?” A lightskin with type three hair would literally never get questioned for their type three texture
I have type four hair and I’m lightskin and I do notice I get treated more politely than a brown skin or dark skin with type four hair. Everyone will compliment my hair comparing it to a 70s afro
As a person from Southern Africa having your hair done whether is relaxed or natural is seen as a sign of caring for your hair. When i was in school, i remember even having it in the rules that you should have your hair styled. You have to have it braided... therefore seeing girls with Afros was rare. The natural hair movement has lead to us seeing people wearing out their hair even in commercials. Prior to that, we knew that older women had to have weaves, braids, wigs and some kept it short too. Even if your hair is short as long as you can have it plaited/braided that was okay and we rarely saw natural hair or people just stay with relaxed hair. Having your hair styled was the sign that you made effort. So with the rise of the natural hair movement, more women want to know how to take care of their hair, then how to wear it out naturally or relaxed and even braided too. In terms of hair, i remember that more women had their hair relaxed before having it braided but in the past few years, i've seen more women keeping their hair natural and staying that way too. The misconception i've had and some people had around me was that "hair needs to be braided to be long"... now it's not necessarily true which is liberating😊
I expected that Africa would accept natural hair the most. I s a w my mother watch a lot of Afrcian TV and all of the were we a ring straight or curly wigs. Or with permed hair. None had 4 type hair, natural or in the form of a wig. It was disappointing..to see how such an influence ended up in Africa. Were black people don't even have straight hair to begin with. It was the most unrealistic. And there seems to be a lot of bleaching of skin as well
African countries were colonized so that had an impact on our clothing and hair styles. We had to adopt what the colonizing offered from religion, education, clothing, social structures, medicine, politically too. Beauty standards became affected. During those times what colonizers offered was beneficial so obviously people would try to adapt and it became part of the current culture today.
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Sis omg I had my college graduation last month and I'd be damned if I didn't wear my natural hair. I remember within the first month of attending that school, multiple people would touch my hair and ask if it was real. Lord, the restraint I had to not flip out. So, I showed up to graduation rocking my 4a curls and wearing a "Black Grads Matter" stole. What made it even better and more important for me to do so is the fact that my school (*cough* SVA *cough*) is primarily Asian and White. There's little to no Black representation there and the few of us that there are, the school treated us like shit. When my name got called, I could feel the uneasiness from all the old White professors/administrators on stage. (For reference, my graduation was at Radio City Music Hall so there were screens everywhere and the camera zoomed in on each of us as we crossed the stage. When I tell you us Black people were showing up, showing out, and making others uncomfortable, I loved it 🥰) Side note: You can't tell me grad caps weren't only meant for straight hair. I spent close to an hour trying to get it to stay on and look cute. Edit: I just thought of this but thank GOD I have a Black man who loves my hair at every stage. I met him right after I shaved my head and he loved it. Even when I had an awkward length, matted, or my hair was "undone", HE ATE THAT SHIT UP. Fast forward three years, now I have a fro and he has locs. "We're that Black couple" as my mom says 😂
I rocked my natural hair to my graduation as well. Its short and shrinks up a lot but the amount of stares and shade I got from my peers was crazy! No matter their race they were acting up that day and I dont regret my choice. So I'm happy to hear others are doing the same. I think natural hair is absolutely beautiful.
When I was natural I kept my hair stretched because it reduced tangling and fairy knots. I didn't mind the shrinkage but keeping it stretched kept my hair healthy and pliable.
Yeah I notice the people usually “calling out” others for hating their shrinkage are people who don’t have dense 4C hair. It’s always the people who have looser texture (even 4b), use heat, have locks, or are able to actually comb their hair. I truly cannot use a comb. Nevermind acceptance, my hair BREAKS, and knots when it shrinks, and it is incredibly painful to even try and part so I can moisturize and do self care. At the end of the day it’s my body my hair, and even my damn shrinkage is political. I decided I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks and as a black woman it’s my legacy and right to do what is best for me. If I want to stretch my hair so that I can spend more time during the week with family, working, socializing, RESTING, then that’s what I’m going to do. And woke UA-cam is just going to have to deal with my “obsession” with living my life I guess. Almost all long 4C naturals wear there hair in a near constant stretched state either with twists braids or heat, and there’s a reason for that. It’s not obsession. I’ve found people don’t understand or even appreciate what it’s like because it’s not their head they have to deal with after they’re pleased seeing MY hair shrunk to their liking. And yes i have friends who always say “why don’t you wear your hair shrunk” and they’re either always wearing braids or a style, have 4b or less, or have a fade. It’s just rude at that point.
Do what works for you! It’s your hair at the end of the day. I don’t have 4c hair, but I can say that I personally don’t like not stretching my hair because it gets stuck to my head 😭 the detangling process is horrible because I knot so easily. I imagine that is pretty difficult for denser hair and tighter curls. I’m glad ppl are embracing their natural state, but honestly I feel like we should all do what’s convenient for the individual when it comes to wearing it naturally. The natural hair community has too many rules and trends that causes ppl to tell others what to do with their hair pretty forcefully. Like a lot of times it isn’t even a suggestion, it’s ppl condemning you about how you should do you hair whether you wear it shrunken, twisted out, braided, blow dried, telling you your products are wrong even though they work for YOUR hair 😭 It’s too much. Do what’s best for you! I feel like the ladies are taking a step by at least wearing it out and taking to time to find methods that work for them.
You’re right. Stretching hair is not only for “aesthetic” reasons, it can also prevent breakage from letting your coils love up on each other so much. Don’t let anyone shame you about this because they’re not about to be sitting in the bathroom with a fat tub of leave in lol
I never heard of wearing your hair shrunken until lipgloss video tbh. Not too many ppl do it & I'm guessing mainly bc it can cause tangles, breakage & is just ultimately more work to comb out. The only time my hair is unstrecthed is if I come home w my hair in a bun or something & don't feel like twisting my hair at night for like 2 days straight & it shrinks.
The funny thing is I prefer the way my hair looks shrunken, it gives me the ideal volume and shape. But like you stated, it gets very tangled this way, so I opt for a chunky twist out these days. Honestly I don't know why the standard is supposed to be absolute zero manipulation anyway. Not even the white girlies are doing that y'all, most of them are blow drying and/or flat ironing every morning. There's nothing wrong with STYLING your type 4 hair. The whole point is to understand how to do that based on the qualities of YOUR hair texture.
One of my take aways is that it ok to want hair to be big and long. The problem stems from degrading ourselves and other black women/girls for not having the qualities we admire in other individuals. It's not a bad thing to wear wigs, braids, extentions. But the intention for wanting to wear it in a certain way may or may not be self destructive or toxic. It's a matter of having a better mind set, which is easier said than done.
The secret to long hair is loving your hair, which really isn’t a secret. I’m obsessed with long hair and having it but I definitely love my short hair because I know it’ll grow if I give it tlc. I can’t accept the false statement “hair not long, not meant to be long” why did she say it like it was true???
I think it's because sometimes even when natural hair is long, if your hair naturally shrinks like 80% it's not going to be "long" in terms of appearance if you actually wear your natural hair the way your natural hair grows out the scalp (Without any stretching). So in a sense yes she is correct her hair won't be perceived as long bc it shrinks and that's the length it looks shrunk.
Cause even when 4c hair is long, the shrinkage will make it look short unless you stretch it out. She's trying to love the unstretched, shrunken state of her hair.
Because honestly if hair shrinks so much it won’t look long, and hair growth and thickness is genetic and yeah you don’t know how long your genes say your hair will grow but if your hair is curly it’s whatever length that is subtracted from how much it shrinks. So some of us will not really grow hair as long as others and on top of that our hair at it’s healthiest will always look shorter than what it is stretched so…
They think their hair can’t grow or someone said it to them. I always had lengthy hair and I knew bw with long hair as well. It’s this rhetoric that these bm got people believing.
As far as the girl Lipgloss, I agreed with her commentary. When I wore my 4b-c twa out at work (didn’t feel comfortable btw) the only compliments I got were from my Asian and White male coworkers. Not a single Black male coworker said anything about it, either way. So that was telling. As far as my journey, it was 1.5 yrs, and it was…expensive, frustrating, confusing, time consuming. I never got the outcome I thought I would. I thought it would at least come to my shoulders and it never did, it stayed shrunk to me ears or shorter and I never felt comfortable at that length for me. The curl never looked the way I thought it would. It seemed like my hair was softer and coarse in certain sports. I got tired of keeping it in a wig or braids. What’s the point of being natural if you can’t wear it out or gotta wait 3yrs to wear it out. Im sorry but I got a relaxer back in June and Im happier, not cause I want straight hair but because I got tired of having a time consuming, frustrating, long, drawn out hair routine. Even now with a relaxer I don’t blow dry it out or press it all the time and let it look “natural” cause I do love the natural look
Honestly this whole situation made me check myself and my own biases that I have with texture and length. The fact that I’m more inclined to listen and watch girls with long hair or loose curls and I didn’t even notice it was happening. And what’s crazy is my OWN hair isn’t even loosely textured or long! Lol but I noticed that when someone has something we want, we are more likely to support them or engage with their content. Black women have unhealthy obsessions with length, myself included. I’m working on it but it’s hard especially when things have been ingrained into our minds since childhood. Before I cut it, my hair was bra strap length and I used to get so many compliments and now that it’s shorter, the compliments have lessened. It plays with your mind when people only compliment your hair when it’s styled or looks one way! I also feel like black women should also do the work and check themselves. We have to stop being so judgmental when women choose to wear their hair in it’s natural state. I saw a tiktok the other day where this girl basically said that when she goes on double dates with her bf, she has to wear a wig so she can be the “best looking” girlfriend. And although it was a joke, it was just really weird to me! Because a lot of the comments were agreeing with her and it just gave me a weird feeling. Anyways, I think we still have a LOT of work to do within the community 🥹
Long hair is considered more attractive on women across most cultures regardless of race, though. But that's no reason to hate shrinkage - our hair tends to grow up and out, and that's just as pretty to me. I love me some big hair. I'm obsessed with length regardless of texture because I think it looks better. I take more issue with the obsession with defining one's hair. Why does my type 4 hair have to be ultra curly for it to be 'presentable'??? I wish I could do the Lipgloss challenge, but I work in a really strict corporate job - I once got formally reprimanded for having my puff too big. And that's with my edges laid.😩😩
But how will blk ppl at least with 4 type hair have visually long hair unless they manipulate it? Seems like anti blackness and the pressure to constantly stretch 4 type hair
@@PrincessYonna1 you can see the length via the circumference. It's obvious my hair is long because of the size of my fro. Wanting long hair is not anti black but ONLY dragging short type 4 hair is.
@@benita8856 I don’t know about that. I have pretty long hair but it shrinks into a small fro without manipulation. Fortunately no one has made rude comments about my hair but people always ask me how I get my hair so coily and I’m like “sis, it’s shirkage”😅
Why did they report her? Thank you for explaining that. Bm are something serious to report a woman for telling other black women to love their 4c hair.
I almost asked this question too. That's absoutely terrible. I believe my hair looks like that when its shrunken too (no idea, if i left it like that it would be 100% matted) and I do struggle with loving it in that state. Seeing her hair and hearing her explain her struggles was inspirational and she wouldve inspired me to wear it like her. I was so shocked she got banned bc BM are bitter.
I just wanna thank you for doing these types of videos, it’s really important for black women to come together and discuss what’s happening and how we feel so we don’t completely break down in this world. It’s crazy that as much I feel like I want to love every part of myself, but for some reason I just can’t. It’s literally a battle every single day when I have to get up and fight with thoughts that go through my head when dealing with my hair.
When i went natural, i was going natural with a spirit of rebellion. I knew i was going against the beauty standard. I was ready for negative comments. I was ready for it all, because i refused to be the one who has to hide my natural beauty for white supremacy or whatever. I refused to be the one who had to overthink my looks. I am proud to be black, i am proud to be African. Being African is Beautiful and i love my people. My hair represents the hair of all my people and ancestors. We Are so many people on this planet with Afro hair. It’s Beautiful period. No need to be shy. That rebellion is the reason no negativity hurts me , it actually satisfies me, because i want to damage the anti-Black beauty standard and make space for this new beauty. I will force the space into this crazy world. I don’t care 😂😂😂 They can cry. It satisfies me.
@@fruitsarelife7073 it literally drives people insane! I need to be more like you. I always end up giving in and just doing my hair even though I hate doing it
My husband is White and when he met me, i had almost no hair, i just had done a Big chop! He does not care what I do with my hair and he loves me for me! Every man should be like that regardless of race.
A lot of nails were hit in the video! There's a video of a specific UA-camr with short, naturally thin 4C hair explaining her journey on embracing her hair, especially since it's not favored in the natural hair community. People had the audacity to call her "negative" and "discouraging to black girls" for saying this. These people then turned around and said she didn't know how to style her hair because her twist-outs and Bantu knot-outs didn't come out like the usual natural hair gurus. Not long after, they suggested the UA-camr just keep her hair in braids or weave since they think she's insecure about her hair... the hypocrisy in the natural hair community is horrendous.
@@Sarah-yg3us Starpuppy! I love that girl! Just an fyi, the negative comments about her were on someone else's channel addressing negativity with natural hair
I have been wearing my hair out and I feel a little uncomfortable not going to lie but I’m trying accept that it will never reach the middle of my back naturally bc my texture is 4b/c which shrinkages up the most
I understand you. I realized that my hair may not reach my back because my hair grows out(defies gravity), it doesn't fall like how someone with looser texture will. I think that is a common misunderstanding most of us have
I completely agree! Having a more realistic expectation of hair length makes the whole natural hair journey a lot more bearable imo. It takes the pressure off and allows you to enjoy your hair for what it is and not fixate on making it what it’s not. I’m 10 years natural and had I learned that sooner I’d have been less stressed 😅
Same!!! It takes a lot of self confidence to really go out and embrace your hair. Years been comparing myself to people who doesn't have the same hair type. Then we thinking that when it's longer, it'll fall and flow like everyone else's....yeah disappointing, but all we can do is be greatful with what we have and just go with it.
Whenever I wear my afro textured hair ( my hair is long I have Yara Shadidi type curls) I feel like a royal princess. My favorite hairstyle is a casual updo like the hairstyle that the actresses Queen Latifah wore in the film the secret life of bees. Whenever I wear my natural hair I always recieve tons of compliments from non black people. 🐝🍯
yesterday I decided I'm just not putting no more gel in my hair, not even gonna try to do my edges because my hair don't wanna stay in that. I'm just gonna be doing what she's doing .
I'm gonna be going to highschool on August 10th so we'll see what happens but ion even care what they say abt my hair , it's my hair and imma do it how I wanna.
Also to add to the length thing, I shaved my hair multiple times thru covid cause it's thick and grows fast. Literally every type of dude said I looked like a man and they did the same to my sister. Or when me and my sister had our hair shorter we were "baldheaded" Even our own grandma has hated on my mom, my sister, and me on when we shave our hair. My hair is longer now but it's still the point that I shouldn't have to manipulate my hair to feel like I look like a boy
Oh man...the "are you mixed" question is VERY REAL (and I look black). And when I say no, they say how they cant date black women...as if I asked? Also I want to say...I don't think wearing our hair in its natural state (freshly washed/conditioned and loose right out the shower) is neccesarily more normal...bc...it gets so tangled! Detangling is an all day affair. Ppl with other hair types brush and comb their hair everyday bc its fast and keeps their hair from tangles. Twisting and braiding is part of our culture and hair routines bc it makes life easier by keeping our hair from tangling...buttttt wearing our twists and braids in a shrunken state would be something new!
I this because I also want to embrace and love my natural hair but I have longer 4c hair and let me tell you the tangling I had after a few days of leaving it shrunken 😮💨I have never spent so much time detangling my hair. I like to keep it stretched for that reason .
@@stephanieassonken289 yes! I have 4a/4b hair w very fine strands and a few patches of 3a/3b....and the single strand knots and tangling I get from not twisting or braiding is very much a real thing. You can also wash and go with your natural twists (a true shrunken state) and they wont be super tangled...BUT...they will eventually turn into semi dreadlocks if you don't retwist within a few weeks to a month. Our hair is just different, and must be maintained differently. Maybe only short hair can be true wash and go's and not have a problem. I think the obsession we have w length also has to do with not knowing what our full potential is and wanting to explore that. Its not like having long nappy hair makes black men love us more, bc they're still on their own journey to self acceptance (most BM dont even get that they dislike their own 4 type hair and thats why its kept so short). Anyways It's all new for us! We're just exploring! I do like Lipgloss and I like the awareness she's bringing to the community!
No fr, and they only ask if you’re mixed if they find you attractive or if your hair looks a certain way. Like you can find a purely black woman attractive it’s OKAY😭
Honestly i love my hair, the texture, the thickness. I want my hair to grow soo i can wear it long and curly. It’s not an obsession i just know my hair isn’t at its full potential. Wishing love and prosperity to you all💜
I agree a 100%! Like if you're able to grow your hair by taking good care of it and retaining length then you should be free to do so! It's not an obsession at all and I actually like watching videos on how to be able to grow my hair out.
It’s similar to working out. You want to see results of your hard work. Of course you can get obsessive about certain results, but at the root you are doing so cause you want a healthier and stronger body, for it to reach its full most optimal potential Same with your hair. Yes we can get obsessed with length, but at the root, is length not an indication of healthy hair? We all want healthy hair, on a large scale, we started to fixate on one indication of it (length). Recently I think people are learning shrinkage is also an indication of health, so there’s a shift happening. People are also learning about the beauty and variety of curls. It’s so satisfying fall in love with your OWN curl pattern, so defining your hair is a great way to do so. Stay hopeful everyone! We are all moving towards a more loving and accepting future. It might seem like we are realizing so much shitty stuff, but the truth is we are waking up from the lie, something is stirring within us, and we are moving towards better. But growth isn’t linear (shrinkage 😆) we don’t always move in the direction we think we should. We have to allow things to flourish on divine time and will, not our own 🙏🏾
I’ve been wearing my hair out since quarantine. People ask me why it looks different every time (shrinkage) I just tell them to go to google. I’m not answering stupid questions.
People hate their texture. I don’t hate my frizzy hair and I don’t want to change it, I don’t care to have super defined hair. However it feels like everything is geared towards definition and making your hair look like something it isn’t.
One of my favorite things about natural hair is that it's a fighter. It will fight to be it's true self. No matter what you do, it will eventually bounce back, it's truly resilient. Unfortunately, sometimes that is also what I hate about it. But that is only because I want to manipulate it in a way that will fit society's standards. Also the fact that they would report that girl's page for literally minding her business and trying to accept and love herself is wild.
For me, it is a little weird that I’m proudly natural but only wear my natural hair 20% of the time. I struggle with the fact that my hair isn’t long and you said it. Subconsciously I felt less feminine and “messy” as opposed to my long sleek protective styles (esp after having to re-big chop recently). So I think imma start small and try wear out my shorter fro and get used to it😅.
Im mixed and I hate when people tell me that I just need to "put some stuff in it" my mom loves to say that. My hair always has products in it. Its frizzy no matter what and I dont care. So annoying that everyone assumes Im willing to do extra or that Im trying to fill some standard of beauty by wearing my hair the way it is naturally. I DONT CARE ABOUT HAIR I DONT NEED TO DO ANYTHING. Im happy there are other people that feel this way
Girl, I love how much ur channel has grown :D I feel like a lot of black men are hypocritical like ur meant to be supporting us not making us hate it even more in my opinion 😑 love ur vids 😁
I love that shrinkage means my curls is healthy!! It reminds me that I actually want a healthy scalp and healthy hair over long hair bc I guess on wash days I can SEE that my hair is long and by shrinkage that's even better bc it's another progress of taking good care of my hair!
Natural hair has definitely been a new route for capitalism. I’ve learned after all these years,the simpler the better and to choose health over any beauty standard. Just love your hair enough to take care of it. No matter what it looks like. This was such a good video.
Some people don't think about the fact that we Black folk are built the way we are for a reason. We are blessed. Coily hair that reaches for the sky keeps the brunt of the heat of the sun off our heads, keeping us cooler, making it harder for us to overheat. In this case, shrinkage is good. He he.
black hair is like a cactus. It has a unique appearance doesn't fall out/get thin at age 30 like the other types. All of human features are evolutionary. Black hair was designed to survive in desert conditions. What other hair type can go without water?
@@reneemattier5883 comparing type 4 hair to others, it can go a long time without needing water compared to people who need to wash their hair everyday or a few days a week. Even though it needs water eventually, it can survive not having to be manipulated or wet every day (locs, braids, twists)
@@notyouraveragejoe7003 I'm not saying it doesn't need it completely, but it can go a longer time without water. And for the desert part I was referring to the older civilizations like Ancient Egoyt and Kush which existed in desert-like climate and harsh sun. If their hair was able to survive and can still be preserved through the ages then I don't see a reason why type 4 can't do that.
Wow, she is exceptionally cute and her hair looks great. It's sad she's getting so much hate. I don't length check my hair. I don't straighten/stretch it (though I acknowledge the privilege I have with a 3c/4a pattern) and I let my stylist cut it for trims as much as she needs and how she thinks it needs to be to have a nice shape. It makes me really sad when people start their journey with, my goal is to have waist length hair. Your hair doesn't have to be long to be valued and frankly long hair is work no one should feel burdened to have if they don't want to.
I really can’t wait for the day when black people (women especially) are at peace with our hair! Thanks for the video!! (P. S. I just cut off all my permed hair after watching this video 🥳 ! ! !)
This was great! I love videos like this because as someone with 4c natural hair, I had a relaxer for most of my life so when I transitioned to natural hair I didn't only transition physically but also mentally. I had to change the way I thought about what defined beautiful hair and at first I was always manipulating it and finding ways to slick it down or make it look a certain way. However I realized that my hair is beautiful the way it is and I started wearing it out in an afro and have fell in love with the way it makes me look and feel. I hope that more black women can learn to embrace their natural hair because it's a crown and should be loved🥰
I will say going through TSW (topical steroid withdrawal) has rendered me a deeper appreciation for my skin and hair. Losing my “long” hair concurrent to my body and skin being put through the ringer by this debilitating condition has allowed me created a different perspective. I’m grieving the beautiful rich radiant dark skin and type 4 shrunken hair I once possessed. My skin, my hair it was so beautiful, shrunken and all. I know once I make a full recover from this, I don’t think I will dye my hair again. Nor will I constantly over-manipulate my curls by stretching them all the time. I am eager to be comfortable, healed, and flourishing in my body and skin.
Watched both your videos and I honestly appreciate your points. As a black man I’ve been on a hair journey myself for the past 6 years with my 4C hair out of self love and rediscovery. I noticed ever since I’ve started ,I’ve only been with black women. I’ve gotten so much closer with y’all and I truly do love and appreciate y’all. Y’all have the best hair in the world No matter how it looks to me.Our hair is so diverse and complexing. It sucks to hear black men are the biggest judges when it comes to hair smh cause we have the same hair and go through hair discrimination as well. I almost lost a job because my hair. So it’s just ironic that black men spit the most hate that hurts. It’s a product of self hate; us not learning to love ourselves. Hip-hop culture ;years of watching music videos and never seeing a beautiful black dark skin women in all her natural glory.Countless conversations about women with the bros or homies where black women are constantly put at the bottom and so much more. As black men we got so much we have to unlearn so much. Great video!
Thank you for the part on the length obsession. I remember that when I was in grade school I would always be complimented on my hair because I have long natural hair. My mother only put my hair in braids which helped it grow, but I never understood why people would like my hair so much when I was jealous of all the afros and slick back puffs and all these styles with their free flying hair that I wished I could do.
From experience, I suspect most people only THINK they want/need length and definition. They really just want their hair to look GOOD. I think length is highly coveted because it has the easiest learning curve with regards to making it look flattering, and you can always tuck it away and up if all else fails. But once you see that you can frame your face shape with shorter hair in a way that looks nice, I've found that deep need for it to be super long goes away.
Third comment; Shrinkage seems more of the problem in my opinion, a lot of black people have this prejudice against our own shrinkage in terms of appearance. If there was a way to keep our hair from tangling/matting and forming knots while shrunken having healthy hair wouldn’t be a problem for a lot of us, who love our hair regardless of how it looks(shrunken, stretched, or straightened).
Lip Gloss' YT channel came up in my suggestions recently and it's only because of YT that I know that this is even a conversation. I have no experience with type 4 hair or shrinkage so when I look at Lip Gloss, I just see an attractive, self confident young lady with a hair style that compliments her natural beauty to a T but I'm an older Wht British male (though I don't make it obvious) so what do I know? That Lip Gloss gets such negative treatment from the very men who should feel drawn to support and protect her is just crazy and speaks volumes regarding the environment over there. I love her message and hope that many follow her lead as this is the only way that her aesthetic stands any hope of becoming normalised any time soon. Why do I care? I'm a father of daughters, that's what we do.
I’m a light skin black woman with 4C hair and my daughter is dark skin with 4B hair I say that to say that skin complexion doesn’t determine hair type if that makes sense. I’m so thankful my aunt doesn’t use chemical straighteners aka perms and relaxers in her hair.
To be honest i like bigger more volume hair because my hair naturally grows up and out no matter how how much growth. Lenth should be for people who hair grown naturally downwards.
I'm a puertorican woman with like 3c curls and it's afro (just to give some sort of mental image since charts are different for everyone) and I struggle so much with growing it out because I just have that shit internalized about long hair being like it for beauty and I literally feel better when I get box braids because it's longer. I mostly have my hair out in it's natural state but my obsession with length frustrates me. In PR they love curly hair but HATE it on themselves. I've notice like a half of PR encourage natural hair and the other half rather pay a ton of money to get keratin presses. The amount of encouragement we get whenever we change our hair to straight like I don't get that as much as when I have my curls out. I mostly get/hear "I love your hair" but whenever it's straight, "OMG you look so cuteeeee" which doesn't help either. It's just forcing the idea that curly hair when not matted and like "dirty looking" it's cool but you'll have eyes on you if your hair is straight and/or long.
we need to get out of the habit of pathologizing black women and making their obsession with hair growth a specifically black women phenomenon when cross culturally, most women strive to achieve very long hair. the only difference is it’s easier for those women to retain length. but if you type in how to get long hair on youtube (i guess depending on your algorithm) you’ll see just as many videos of white women or south asian women talking about how to grow long thick hair. black women aren’t special in that regard. we just have specific needs for our hair. there’s no reason why black women shouldn’t also want long hair. our hair can grow long so why not grow it long and why not manipulate it to show off it’s true length? stretching our hair isn’t lying or denying our hair shrinks. i’m not ignoring that our preoccupation with our hair can be harmful. however, long hair is a sign of beauty for women in general so black women want long hair not because they’re black but because they’re still women.
I agree, mostly all women are obsessed or rather desire long hair because it’s always been a sign of beauty. You look at other cultures and their women cherish long hair as much as the next. The difference is that due to their textures, it’s easier to see the length retention. Black hair grows upward and not in a singular direction.
Women everywhere in the world are "obsessed" with long hair. Why does it need to sound so bad when black women want it? I'm not saying lipgloss is wrong at all btw
Just hearing about this struggle from all these black women and fem creators I watched is just mindblowingly sad. But yeah as a white fem i can‘t ever fully get that struggle but watching yall talk about this is hella eye opening i feel and i wish more ppl would watch this cause it is so important. Lip gloss especially has been one of my new favorite creators for her confidence and really dope takes on so many things. I just love her! But I love you too! The stuff u talk about is just really informative and I do appreciate it a LOT!
The crazy part is that I’ve lived all of these experiences . When I was a child, I had a disease that made my hair thin and short. I got made fun of constantly for it by black women and girls and even by black men. But, I found that the white boys were the ones who still found me attractive even with my hair. Fast forward to now. My natural hair is at about shoulder length in curls and it is thick. I get compliments all the time from everyone about how my hair is thick and beautiful and so pretty. I even have black men flirting with me. But it frustrates me because I don’t really love doing my natural hair. What a lot of people don’t realize is the time it takes to maintain my hair. And giving up things I want to do because I need to spend hours detangling. And making sure my hair is either ultra defined or super slick when I go outside. It’s exhausting. So I wanted to get LOCS and the first thing everyone tells me is that “no, don’t get them your hair is so pretty.” As if getting LOCS negates my beauty As a black people it would be so nice if we could take the pressure off of hair and become hair neutral. Which is where we stop trying to mold our hair into a box and love it for what it does for us. That’s why I love what lipgloss was doing Sorry this was such a long read. But I feel like this subject is never talked about and I feel the pressure. :)
i love Lipgloss's videos. she's one of the very few creators on here that i actually really related to in looks, mindset, personality. so it's sad to see that she no longer posts on here (or social media in general?? idk) i wish i could wear my natural fro out but my texture and hair is very similar to hers as well and it would just be way to difficult and time consuming to deal with on my own, at least right now. i also have scoliosis and i typically wear really long braids in order to hide it. maybe on day, i'll have the confidence to just not care anymore and just wear it naturally.
I’m a jewish girl with really thick, coarse curls. Growing up around other white girls with pin straight thin hair always had me so confused. I started learning abt hair care from black women in the natural hair community and It was such a blessing. Although my texture wasn’t the same as most of them i learned the basics and from there i went completely natural and still am to this day. It makes me so sad that the community is so toxic to woc and they have to face so much hate based on texture … imo everyone should just do what they want w they own hair and keep it moving - great video !!
These men that did this really need to get a life. She has nothing to prove to anyone. Lipgloss is a pretty young lady and her hair has nothing to do with it. I don't have 4c hair, but I'm with her. I just don't have time to "make" my hair do something other than what it wants to do. I wet it and put some moisturizer and a bit of gel for hold. I'm in and out in under 10 minutes. It's just not that serious for this to be made such s big deal. I feel for her.
❤️ this video and I’m not even to the end yet! So many points here I agree with, the struggle is real! I believe we need to own our beauty as black women and not let society dictate it for us. With that comes a new level of freedom. As a locd natural, I have many moments where thoughts of feeling “unkempt” come up especially when I choose to wait a while to retwist. I do it for the health of my hair, but there’s so much pressure to make sure my hair looks “neat” to society. This is a WHOLE conversation and I’m glad we’re having it🪄
Bottom line, the more proximity to Whiteness is deemed better, and more proximity to West African features and hair textures is seen as unattractive for Black WOMEN, not for Black men. Black men can wear short, tightly curled hair styles and be been seen as sexy and hot. (Look at Black male music artists and athletes.) Short and tightly curled hair on Black women is not seen as feminine. It is interesting how West African features is equated with being masculine and not feminine. What.is.that?! What IS that?!!!!
It’s called white supremacy. It’s about making the white woman better than the black woman. Because the beauty standard is actual power. Everyone used to have their own beauty standard. But after colonization, the white people took that over.
I love that my tightly coiled hair can be long and short. I baffle people when I wear my hair long one week then short the next and I get the question everytime "did you cut your hair?" (from all cultures/ethnicities). I simply respond nope lol. I'm starting to get a kick out of it. It was my little brother who first told me it looked good as it is and that changed my life, because kids don't lie for anyone's feelings lol. But the versatility of type 4 hair is unmatched and I am learning to live in each moment it gives despite the negative eurocentric biases and connotations. (And this shit is not easy lol) 😊🥰 but it does restore power with regenerative confidence you can spread to the next natural/type 4 girlie. This is how we raise the collective consciousness. It starts with ourselves. And fck em if they can't take a joke 😂... Love ♡
I remember one time I was with boyfriend and I had my hair naturally shrunk, these boys passed by and said I thought those were two guys. They thought I was a male because my hairstyle, plus my boyfriend had a hairstyle close to mine
my non black friends always get confused by the word "perm" along with "straightening" when describing it; They usually associate it with curling. This is intriguing.
@@Spookycristalmoon -I had a white male co-worker ask me why I did wear my hair like another co-worker who had a relaxer. I said because my hair is the way God made it when I was born. He said he preferred the straight hair. Mind you, he was a married man, and his wife was white. He was one of those covert r-words. 🙄
@@quasar4472 im french, and in french a perm “une permanente” means curling your hair for people with straight hair. However, the relaxers/perms as it used by black people is called “ un défrisage” which literally translates to “un-frizzing”. And so when i heard english speakers referring to a relaxer as a perm, i was confused as well
Such a great video!!!! Made it all the way to the end but I couldn't figure out how to get that emoji 😅😅😭🤷🏿♀️!! As a 4c girl myself with hair that tangles/shrinks like nobody's business and dries up even when it's super moisturized, I so appreciate Lipgloss' commentary 😩😭!! Sis gets it!! The part about getting white boys is too funny because it's so terribly true. No one hates Black hair more than other Black people, argue wit yo mama about that one 😹😹🤷🏿♀️💁🏿♀️!! She's beautiful though 😍 and I'm glad she's exposing the hypocrisy of the black community/white supremacy/texturism/colorism etc. Great video girl💜!
4c is only bad and nappy when it’s short! That’s so true! I have 4c hair and I wear it out all the time, however the only time I’ve ever received compliments about my hair have been when it was I had extensions, crochet, or clip ins in it. And my 4c hair isn’t even short I just don’t stretch it everyday.
All natural hair types should do like Lipgloss! Show you hair: -bed hair -shrunken --drawed up -no manipulation -little product -bad hair day -it’s natural state before all the magic so to speak. We type 4Cs already know the deal. Also any skin shade can have 4C hair just like any skin shade can have looser hair than 4c. Even on a bad day looser hair types don’t struggle. Grossly exaggerated, but do 3s and loose coils struggle? IDK. Ultimately, we have to counteract the perception that 4c hair is bad and the other types are no better, just DIFFERENT. IDK. Anyone have a hair mantra? Oh and turn off social media. Most of us probably have lots of knowledge on how to care for our hair but feel the need to keep researching for an answer-- to say shrinkage-that’s what natural does!!! Love this post and heading to check out Lipgloss!!
Lipglossssss (however many s’s) videos on her hair make me want to try the same thing (wear my natural 4c hair completely shrunk with little manipulation). She makes it look so good. But i know myself and having my hair in anything but braids makes me pull it out subconsciously 😔
I feel like this is an American issue cause the natural hair movement in Brazil is awesome And i think there needs to be a healthy balance… if you have a hair type that defines easily when wet but frizzes out. I see nothing wrong with wanting to keep the definition. But if you are a 4c trying to look like a 3c then obviously that can be seen as an issue…
I will never intentionally let my hair shrink because there is absolutely no reason for me to leave my 4c hair to shrink and tangle on each other just for me to come back in 2 weeks for wash day and cry and spend hours to detangle What is up with all this ‘white girls can just get up and leave’ this maybe be true (most times it’s not) but are we them!? Do they have the kinks we do!? No So take care of your hair not in the way other races do but the way your hair would prosper What is the point of leaving my 4c hair to shrink up on itself?? I will regret it later not because of beauty or whatnot but because it is unnecessary stress I wear twists in my hair, with no added hair That’s still embracing my 4c hair
Alot of people are talking about needing to stretch your hair to keep out tangles. The secret is you don't have to remove every tangle in your hair, you don't need to put a comb through it. There are many people who only detangle in the shower during wash day or never use a comb. My tip: make sure you hair is clean, don't let it stay wet all the time, fluff it with your fingers so it can breathe. Generally you will be fine you can do anything you want at that point.
I wish i found this sooner. I’ve been wear my hair natural and i did a big chop in 2018. I locs my hair from 2021-2023. Nonetheless I’m still glad i found this at all since i literally just cut my hair. Getting myself heated up for weird and negative comments I’ll receive from now on. I love the message she was speaking about wearing her hair as is. Wishing her well and to all of my natural sisters too
I'm feeling exactly like that lip gloss girl. All this drama to make my hair for in is exhausting. It takes too much time and energy to constantly change it. Why can't we just be the biggest promoters of our hair as it really is, who cares of other races like it, they don't have too like it but we do and should love it. I'm so sick of the vanity in this society it's sick.
I have big chopped and rocked a buzz cut for about a year or so and two year later it is fully grown out my hair is at a pretty good length and it's full everybody likes my hair but not when it short like the amount of person asked me about my hair care because they see length but when it was short and growing out of the buzz cut only a few person would show my hair some love the long and short of the story is that if they don't see length you don't have good hair
I've done big chops many times in my adult life. One time, a few years ago when I cut if off, my mom, brother and uncle told me not to do that again. They didn't crack jokes or get disrespectful but that was the moment I really realized how important length is to Black people. I love my hair short and long. But I've been told by other Black women that I wouldn't cut it off at all if it didn't grow back so quickly. I understand them, but disagree. Great video once again!!💯⚜️🪄
I love your content! Your points are right on!! I am about to wash my hair in the shower with a good smelling/Fancy shampoo and Moroccan oil conditioner and then I'm gonna do a twist out with ONLY smooth shea butter with a strawberry shortcake scent since I ran out of Argan oil and that is it . No wash day/headache!! And I'm gonna go have a Fancy Girl Summer!
Gr8 follow up video Sis 🙌🏾 I wanted to comment, Lipgloss is adorable as well her lovely hair. I started wearing my natural texture in 2002 with my first of many big chops, I rocked moisturized TWA’s until it grew back and then wore mostly two strand twist for maintenance. I absolutely LOVE my hair, it’s texture, density, thickness, versatility and shrinkage (which is a great sign of hair health). I even shaved my hair twice and honestly, it was the most freeing and feminine, I felt. I agree that we have to set the standards for our hair, 🗣 BLACK WOMEN, no one else, just US ✊🏾 once we embrace and love ourselves, it won’t be anything, anyone can tell us 🙌🏾
I started my loc journey because its DIY low maintenance and cheap like all you need is water and oil 1 shampoo. At first I didn't think about length. I just went for cause I was on budget mother of 3 working night shift .I didn't have time for my hair and locs was THE hair style when your hair is done even when it's not. I got lots of bad comments when it was short .my husband who is Caucasian told me it was the worst decision I did take for my hair .Black people told it looked dirty .my mother was totally appalled but I couldn't care less I was too busy my pace of life was crazy .and that's all I could afford .I had no money for buying hair or paying a stylist..After year 4 as it was growing .I noticed people comments changed from bad to good .and now 10 years in people are begging me not to cut ! There is definitely an obsession about length. I had long hair since childhood even when permed ,so I never realised the respect you progressively get as your hair grow ! It is definitely a thing .but I think it is in all community .it's a psychological thing I read about .women with long hair in the subconscious are associates with fertility so men are naturally more attracted to women with long hair ? So I read not my personal opinion though but this could explain. Very sad though that from short to long hair I have seen the all narrative about my hair change .but I am still the same I haven't changed .I shared .cause I think its very true and black people need to hear this more for awareness
I had a conversation with a white friend about hair. They do have to do a lot to their hair. They wash it every other day at least. Some every day. If they go out with their hair wet they get judged by their counterparts. Wet dog…… they have to blow dry their hair every single day. If they don’t they have dry shampoo or mousse. So I realized beauty is beauty no matter the race.
Agreed. I don't care what they do over there but the average woman does some level of manipulation to their hair before leaving the house or risk being subject to scrutiny and criticism. So prepping and styling the hair doesn't necessarily equate self-hatred.
@@SimpleeKomplex Exactly I used to work in a diverse salon & women of other ethnicities alter hair color & texture too whether it's a regular blow out or Brazilian blowout or hair color, or high lights. It's a preference thing. It's just like saying leave them toes in it's natural state & length too, no polish, filing, or pedi.😂😂😂
This is beautiful! My hair doesn’t like to be in it’s shrunken state tho. I like to put it in twists or stretch it with braids/ twists or a blowdryer. Because it will be 1 big knott in no time! I think everyone should just do what works fo them
My obsession is not length but volume and fuller hair, I just don’t like the thin look , I stop caring about length because natural hair is supposed to grow out not down, if you’re 4 type.
Nice topic, but I must weigh in. I have 4C hair & I love my hair blown out. I/Me this is what I love, not based on no1 else's opinion. It's not a bad thing to have preferences just like we have a favorite color, food, clothes, etc. It's just like saying wear your natural nails with it's natural length, with no polish, filing, tips, shape, pedi, or mani. It's a desireable thing. It's also not solely a black thing but a womens thing because I worked at a diverse hair salon & other women of different races are huge on hair color, blow outs, & cuts which is opposite of their natural hair color, texture, & lengths as well. With me, I'm all about manageability with my hair, anything that will make combing & styling easier, I'm for it. When it comes to long & short hair, I see it as what goes best with a person's face. I have a round face so length goes best with my facial shape, but I've always seen women with smaller or slimmer faces rock short hair styles with no problem as I did with no problem in my late teens & early 20s. I also love wigs, weaves, & straight styles. I'm a creative person whose also a hair stylist so I love hair color & wigs & weaves gives me that advantage to wear hair color without damaging my hair natural hair. I also know that my hair grows faster & healthier when I leave it alone, in protective styles. I let it down to breath & give it some TLC with wash, condition, & to clip my ends. When it comes to mens opinions, they're allowed to have opinions the same as women. It's how you receive it, we can either reject or accept it. We shouldn't get offended so easily. Though you received it negatively, he probably meant it as a compliment. They have preferences too & it's not their fault if they've never had the opportunity to be exposed to different looking black women other than what they've seen in their communities. Also the truth is most of us are mixed with different ethnicities including native American Indians. Whether it's from recent generations or 5 or 6 generations back, at the end of the day we're all human. On the other end some women desire bald men with beards, men with locs, etc. I mean you're not gonna want your man to walk around with a bald face & shaved beard are you? It's because it's your preference, which may or may not be his. My husband & I have been together for 23 years & I put him onto beards & he haven't looked back since. My husband's texture is loose wavy as with most of the women in his family. Long before marriage he has saw my hair in every way possible the desired & undesirable looks including shrinkage short, natural, broken, & thin edges. He has had a couple preferences with my hair as well, but it's never been his main focus. He's even saw my hair shaved with clippers, so I know what he sees in me has nothing to do with my hair but everything to do with my heart. So, I say however you choose to style your hair, for whatever reasons, is your choice. Who cares what others think or say or whether it's trend or not. Also most men that I've seen, known, family, friends, etc. they're more simpler than you think. Sure they have their preferences but if they sense a deeper than surface connection, they're rolling with whatever makes you happy.
As SOON as she said, "I can only pull white boys with this hair," I looked over at my fiancée and we were both like 👀
Cause she's 100% right! Been together nearly 5 years now 💕
If we're going to be honest people (black men especially) were more upset at the "I can only pull white boys" comment than her talking about her experiences with colorism and texturism.
Bc they know it’s true. Black men (BM) knew that what she said was the honest truth but bm hate to admit it (I mean, like Camryn said, a bm created a dating profile of lipglossssss to try and prove their “point”). Instead of saying “shit, we bm got work to do” their first instinct was to antagonize her and to send her hate speech
The same statement is true for me white men love my natural hair/or when I wear it in Braids
Black men have never approached me with my Natural hair out ever
Then they get mad when I’m “seen” speaking to a white man.
Talking about I need a black man/but I wasn’t “wanted” till another race wanted me
I mean...the irony.
I'm pretty sure most white guys are not attracted to that type of hair.
@@AmandaFromWisconsin saying that she only pulls white guys with her fro is not saying that that's what most white guys prefer🤦🏽♀️
Probably, the reason they took her off tic tok; is they make billions of dollars off us hating our natural hair. For example, include overpriced products, weaves, wigs, extensions, hot comb, blow dryers, rollers, and salons. The entire beauty industry would crash if we accepted our hair without manipulation. Everybody has a stake in our insecurity, it is their security$$$$$$!
deep.
MESSAGE 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤
Black Hair Shame is economically profitable to every other race.
I fully support Lipgloss. She is setting a powerful example and teaching the masses that self acceptance is freedom.
Yet black women CHOOSE to buy these beauty products at their own will.
At this point only bw can blame themselves
@@Listening_2_Still_Small_Voice 💯🎤mic drop…
This is a very interesting point!!
It's funny her page gets banned for uplifting black hair, but other TikTokers who make racist content against black women don't get banned. Funny, but not funny HAHA, funny weird!
Its not cause of the content its cause of the response... aka the triggered black men who reported her. If no one reported her, her content wouldnt have unjustly been banned. Ppl suck, thats all.
Tiktok is designed for toxicity. Anything positive or calls out negatively always results in blaming the victim or causing more drama to stay on the app.
It's Chinese spyware and it's designed to lower attention span amongst other things. Its best to uninstall that app and do not engage.
The word is ironic
@@NPhilome Please shut up and go troll elsewhere. Your past comments reek of attention-seeking.
Length isn't that deep, length is desirable no matter the hair type.
It's the obsession with hating shrinkage, for me.
The reality is 4c hair doesn't show length as well. So the obsession with length and the obsession with hating shrinkage usually goes hand in hand.
I just want to be clear, length on 4C hair does make a difference, it does show, but it is presented as fullness and density, not hang. And it's the hang of non-Black hair we're still chasing with our natural hair.
I’m glad someone said it. Everyone, especially women, are obsessed with length but it’s because we’re deemed are more attractive and feminine
I have made peace with knowing that bigness shows that my hair is long to others. It really does take a while to get there but when you do it’s amazing. It’s just up to everyone to realize that all ppl know that big, non-see through hair = long hair.
But the hatred of shrinkage is in and of itself obsession with length. The shrinkage prevents length from being obvious. So it’s all one and the same. No one hates shrinkage just for the sake of hating it.
A black man at my job told me when he saw my fro He thought I was wearing a wig . Then says “I saw your edges then realized You’re not full ni””a . That’s not ni””a hair “ when I tell you my jaw dropped LMFAOOOO. Because growing up my mom would call my hair nappy bc she didn’t know how to work with it, so I would’ve never thought someone would think I’m mixed . People are weird
My face dropped just reading this 😧
it’s gotta be ignorance…🫠
Yep...real weird 🙄
Why are they like this?!
Ain’t no way… I have no words
Protect Lipgloss at all costs!
PROTECT HER😭
She keeps popping up I. My recommended on UA-cam. Love her 😂
Exactly. I just got into her vids and they all speak facts.
@@aeaplace8790 whats her channel
I also feel like a lot of black people are disconnected with the basic care of their hair. My mom doesn’t even like to wash her own hair by herself. We’ve been so programmed to hide the hair we naturally have that when we see it , it’s something like a freak show. Everyone wants to know how you did it , everyone wants to touch , everyone wants to double look everyone wants to compliment. We were never taught how to take care of it and live comfortably so it looks so foreign
I agree with we been so programmed to hide the hair. My mom has literally told me multiple times don't let no one see your natural hair length. Like how is that bad thing, I'm supposed to continue adding fake hair in hopes that they believe me and think I'm beautiful
@@shaniaa7477 well she's just looking out for you based on Her experience during Her generation. Its up to you to break out of that mold and surpass her conformities. Whateber you choose, please take yourself lightly and enjoy your journey.💫
@@deenad3562 agreed it was passed down to her. My mom hated natural hair and the more she seen me wearing mine she decided to go natural and she loves it, she had to unlearn a lot, there’s still some insecurities because she won’t wear it out in public unless she blows it out.
Preach
Exactly, this is the bulk of the problem. Most of us have no experience styling and caring for our hair on its own terms. Even when we go natural, we're often still operating on the foundation of what straight hair does. When I started evaluating the specific qualities and abilities of MY hair, I found that all of a sudden I could style my hair and like how it looks. Once you start appreciating what your hair CAN do instead of being frustrated/disappointed by what it DOESN'T do, it all starts to come together.
This reminds me of the time when I was new at my current job and I had a wet blown out fro tucked back in a headband. This nurse has the audacity mind you that she is grown over 40 and only wears wigs teased me in front of the whole office saying my hair isn’t nice and that we work in front of white people. The anti blackness is strong with this community with both genders of black people. I was so embarrassed and mad when she did this. I still work there and ignore the eff out of her.
I would have went to HR and had her ass taking “Diversity and Inclusion” courses on her days off! 😂
@@KerriganTisdale she is a old black Haitian woman
@@colouredgal All the more reason to tell HR. 😉
@@KerriganTisdale this was last year when I first started. I thought about going to HR but I had a heart and didn’t want to cause drama being that I was a new employee.
Girl I am so sorry you had to experience that mess!! ughhh!!!
I'm surprised you didn't go more into detail with the natural hair community's obsession with "defining" our hair. These girls will spend hundreds of dollars on products that with make their type 4 hair look like a looser texture. Even in these "big chop" videos the girls will chop off their relaxed hair and then immediately start defining their short twa. Like what's the point of doing the big chop and "embracing" your natural hair if you can't even walk out the house unless its defined.
definition was definitely a blind spot here🫣
Omg I honestly hated defining my hair. That shit had a chokehold on me for years. I love how my hair looks right after I wash it in all it's fluffy and frizziness.
Yap this is true
what's twa
Yoooo this hits home for me. I did a big chop half a year ago and I realized how pressured I felt to define my curls and how if my curls weren’t defined I felt like it looked frizzy or just like a fro, but then I asked myself, why am I so afraid to wear my hair in an undefined curl fro? And I realize it’s because all I see around me and in media is DEFINE UR CURLS. But watching Lipgloss inspired me to embrace how my hair really naturally comes out my head. There are definitely some defined pieces but the rest is it’s lovely fluffy self. And I’m practicing exposing myself to my hair in it’s real natural state so I feel less ugly whenever it’s not defined. Cuz that’s true natural hair,
Yesssss!! The only black man to complement my natural 4th day Afro when it was super short was my now husband. Before I ran into him only white, mix and men of Spanish decent would approach me. Even my brothers would tell me to go get a blow out or go get some bundles… Over the years my hair has gotten really long and I prefer stretched updos. I was wearing one and had to inform a group of fools(bm) at a gas station that I wasn’t mix and it was in insult to say I must be mixed when im not. I told them the next time you see a women with nice hair simply tell her you like her hair. Black women don’t have to be mixed to have long beautiful hair, and all hair is good hair if you take care of it. Recently I wore my hair to work in a wash in go, and a coworker who im actually cool with laughed at me when I took off my hairnet saying his hair was longer than mine. He has locs that touch his shoulders. I didn’t even say a word to him I just reached back and pulled my hair down my back and watched his mouth fall open. I then explained to him that it doesn’t matter how long my hair get if I let it shrink up it always shrinks up above my shoulders… he was too stun to speak but pulled me aside outside before I got in my car and apologized… smh black men in 2022 still don’t understand how our hair works
the most kinda dreadful thing i was avoiding while learning to like my hair was the comments from other men saying their hair is longer. One super ignorant because i had to start over meaning yes it’s gonna be short but they wouldn’t care i guess and secondly why does it need to be stated? goes back to how they think it’s feminine to have long hair or else it wouldn’t be funny or they wouldn’t make fun of women for having short hair. it sucks but one day i’ll get the hang of it and all the other women who need to start over or just want to wear their hair shrunken
smh black men in 2022 still don’t understand how our hair works-facts
It’s honestly sad af. The disrespect the same hair that grows out of their own scalp unless it’s long and showing it’s length.. self hate at its finest
@@quinnalame and don’t let that even bother you. That’s weak men mentality, that speaks on anyones hair length.. I know some women who prefer short pixie styles. I just hope that these mens daughters don’t have to deal with men like them
I’m sorry but why does it seem that black men are obsessed with hair???
I big chopped at age 12 (in 2012) and it hasn't been longer than a few inches in the last decade. It drives the older women in my family crazy how content I've been with my nappy twa.
Me too sis!!! I tapered mine every 3 months…they stayed bothered. My big shampoo bottle last 2 years🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@quelquun2018 💯🎤mic drop…
I'm sorry sis. That's traumatic 🙏🏽
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
HAHAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS
I loved this video. I was watching Married at First Sight (the new San Diego season) and one of the black men on there was excited with who he was matched with for a wife. His wife is obviously biracial and has very long hair. He made a point to express that she was a dream wife because she was thin, beautiful, and HAD A BUNCH OF HAIR!! I swear no other race of men obsess over women's hair like BLACK MEN.
Also, Lip Gloss is a beautiful girl and I think she pulls off the short 4C hair so well.
Yeah, I’m not familiar with her outside of the one Tik Tok so I don’t know what hairstyles she normally wears but I think she looks so cute with her hair like that. It really fits her & looks very flattering. It literally looks how I would assume she “naturally” would wear her hair everyday
lip gloss looks so good with her hair😭
Yeah it’s not like there was a whole world war that started because people had different hair color and eye color.
@@MamacitaNatural she has a UA-cam channel too
Yea and it's like imagine if people said "oh she pulls off straight hair so well" to a white person? I Can't stand people making us be so strange and weird
as someone who doesn't want to wear weave or makeup i've come to realise that black women try extra hard in this department, white girls wake up and go out to proms looking all normal and it's ok but black women have been programmed that that isn't enough , i rmr as a little girl everytime we had to go to an occasion weave was put in my head subconsciously telling me that my hair isn't good enough to go out with and i was fine with that until now that i can't wear weave(also bc it pulls my hair out) when i see a BW at her prettiest at her most glammed up she's always wearing heavy insta makeup and a WIG/WEAVE. I am not hating on these women but lipgloss is bringing this to my attention. White women never have to put themselves through these hoops. Everyone is talking about body positivity but what about 4c hair. The hate against it is something deeply internalized among blacks , i myself whenever i'm fantasy i always picture myself with longer hair wishing it would be Camryn's length. If black woman collectively put less effort in like the white ppl then maybe we can normalize some things, just like how black ppl are always acting strong so now we're expeccted to be strong even when we're just any normal human.
This is a terrific comment and I absolutely agree. We need to normalize Black Femininity. You are right and Lipgloss is spot on in noticing that White women are secure in expressing their femininity. They definitely start wearing makeup at young ages but they are free from the pressure to wear full on makeup contouring, lashes and wigs, weaves and hairpieces that young Black girls often conform to in order to be deemed a “baddie” or pretty. White girl just pulls her hair up into a ponytail, gets dressed and skips out the door to start her day. Black girl feels pressure to do an entire Red Carpet makeup, hair and fashion presentation in order to be seen as worthy, valuable and attractive. Something is very wrong. I am grateful to Lipgloss for pointing out these differences in race, beauty and self esteem. Lipgloss is presenting observations whose utterances are long overdue. It’s about damn time somebody broke away from the herd mentality to question the why behind the behaviors instead of just blindly going along with it.
@@Listening_2_Still_Small_Voice Thissss, I used to do a wash n go constantly because I have 3c hair and felt like I need to be completely defined but now I simply walk out the house with just oils and water in my hair and brushed in a puff.
Yes like I saw a transformation done on a 15yr old girl and omfg they put her in HEAVY glam makeup and people were saying it’s age appropriate and her mother even said she looks her age nowwww??? Why can’t black little girls/ women not be naturally glammed up or not glammed up in general?
@@kimmieyc6476 4c hair here, just have to say wow congrats for breaking out of that mindset, I still battle the idea that defining my curls will prove to everyone the 4c hair is valuable, wishing u all the best❤
@@florencee3324 rightttt, and why can't black girls look like GIRLS and not women, teenagers are still kids 🤦♀️I don't wear makeup or get glammed up and I'm constantly compared to my peers who do, they say I look like "stupidness"(a baby) compared to them but I dont see anything wrong in looking young
i used to care so much about my hair length and try all these crazy methods to grow it faster and keep it stretched all the time. then a youtuber (i think GreenHairBeauty) kind of emphasised that health>length. good hair is healthy hair no matter what texture or length it is.
i love that channel for hair education🥹
I stretch my hair with braid/twist outs simply because my shrinkage is so much, that if I let it dry with no manipulation, my hair tangles and it becomes a difficult task to manage later on in the week. If it wasn’t for the knots I get, I would love to just moisturize my hair, and be on my merrily way. (I have type 4 hair).
Yeah I notice the people usually “calling out” others for hating their shrinkage are people who don’t have dense 4C hair. Nevermind acceptance, my hair BREAKS, and it is incredibly painful to even try and part so I can moisturize and do self care. At the end of the day it’s my body my hair, and even my damn shrinkage is political. I decided I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks and as a black woman it’s my legacy and right to do what is best for me
it’s best to not care what others think and just do you🫶🏾
That's for me too. If I just leave it alone, my hair gets tangles EVEN MORE. So of course I have to use a detangler and a curl activator and finger comb, so that my hair can be more manageable
I honestly retain more length when my hair is stretched
The tangling is real and exhausting. If I wait more than 30 min after washing to work on it, it's becomes a nightmare. It is demoralizing to comb your hair carefully and hair still comes out or it's tangled after you just ran a comb through it. I've spent so many days in my house crying. My outfit is fire but my hair is a big no. Sometimes I get mad that I was born with a beautiful face, wiry 4c hair and a apple shape.
Gosh Lipgloss looked absolutely gorgeous. I was literally gawking. Her skin, her hair, the body!! I love this for her and anyone who has the strength and the confidence to be their naturally beautiful self!!!! I wana join but I’m sisterlocd
Im from the Caribbean and ive gotten praise and love from both men and women in my country. My father was a long hair natural, who didnt like his type 3 curls so he would always pick his curls out for body and length, he prefered type 4 hair and would always praise my hair so i never relaxed, wore wigs, never even had braids.
Upon moving to the States however, thats when the hate began. Most bm ignore me or laugh. I've even had bw with their pink wigs, long nails, big slicked edges, laugh at my fro. I dont curl define and i never slicked my edges.
I remember going on the subway and got on a train. Im the only natural with a fro and i heard laughter, a group of 3-5 black girls pointing and laughing me, laughing at my hair. We were the only bw in that car. They were either relaxed or wigged up. It didnt make me ashamed but it made me sad how deep the self hate goes.
I would say slavery did cause this self hate, but WE have continued it. It's not white people who tell me my hair is nappy and i need a relaxer or weave. Its black women. It's black men. We are the problem and only we can free ourselves from this mental slavery.
slavery ? Nope, go back to africa and check, all the tribes are modifying the hair, there is almost no "natural" afro in africa.
I feel like her hair is very beautiful. People really need to stop hating, it’s weird asf. She’s a beautiful girl with beautiful hair period.
I agree with the whole video especially on the length part, but skin complexion can also play a part in how one is treated while having 4c hair. I am half white, my mom’s black my dad is white & my mom has spent most of her life trying to love her hair. Her entire life she’s been bullied for being the dark skinned “nappy headed” little girl. Yet her sister who has light skin and 4c hair is never called nappy headed, in fact people compliment her hair more when their hair is the same. My hair is like 3b/3c so ik it isnt my place to be here, but i just came to say yalls hair is absolutely gorgeous. That’s also one thing my dad is always complimenting my mom about is her hair and how versatile it is, she’s always doing something new with it that my hair can’t accomplish.
I hope yall know you are all beautiful the way you are
yeah. mfs avoid calling lighter skinned ppl nappy headed but jump like a frog When the person is darker
THIS IS SO TRUE
I do notice in the natural hair community, people get treated way differently based on their skin tone along with their hair texture, like for example, a dark skin with type three hair, everyone would ask them “is that your real hair?” “what are you mixed with?”
A lightskin with type three hair would literally never get questioned for their type three texture
I have type four hair and I’m lightskin and I do notice I get treated more politely than a brown skin or dark skin with type four hair. Everyone will compliment my hair comparing it to a 70s afro
As a person from Southern Africa having your hair done whether is relaxed or natural is seen as a sign of caring for your hair. When i was in school, i remember even having it in the rules that you should have your hair styled. You have to have it braided... therefore seeing girls with Afros was rare. The natural hair movement has lead to us seeing people wearing out their hair even in commercials. Prior to that, we knew that older women had to have weaves, braids, wigs and some kept it short too. Even if your hair is short as long as you can have it plaited/braided that was okay and we rarely saw natural hair or people just stay with relaxed hair.
Having your hair styled was the sign that you made effort.
So with the rise of the natural hair movement, more women want to know how to take care of their hair, then how to wear it out naturally or relaxed and even braided too.
In terms of hair, i remember that more women had their hair relaxed before having it braided but in the past few years, i've seen more women keeping their hair natural and staying that way too. The misconception i've had and some people had around me was that "hair needs to be braided to be long"... now it's not necessarily true which is liberating😊
Clean and healthy hair should be a sign of taking care of hair
@@TinyyTinkerbell yes, clean, healthy, and I would add efficient (with time and cost) if we want to focus on our real Purpose.
I expected that Africa would accept natural hair the most. I s a w my mother watch a lot of Afrcian TV and all of the were we a ring straight or curly wigs. Or with permed hair. None had 4 type hair, natural or in the form of a wig. It was disappointing..to see how such an influence ended up in Africa. Were black people don't even have straight hair to begin with. It was the most unrealistic. And there seems to be a lot of bleaching of skin as well
African countries were colonized so that had an impact on our clothing and hair styles. We had to adopt what the colonizing offered from religion, education, clothing, social structures, medicine, politically too.
Beauty standards became affected. During those times what colonizers offered was beneficial so obviously people would try to adapt and it became part of the current culture today.
Sis omg I had my college graduation last month and I'd be damned if I didn't wear my natural hair. I remember within the first month of attending that school, multiple people would touch my hair and ask if it was real. Lord, the restraint I had to not flip out. So, I showed up to graduation rocking my 4a curls and wearing a "Black Grads Matter" stole. What made it even better and more important for me to do so is the fact that my school (*cough* SVA *cough*) is primarily Asian and White. There's little to no Black representation there and the few of us that there are, the school treated us like shit. When my name got called, I could feel the uneasiness from all the old White professors/administrators on stage. (For reference, my graduation was at Radio City Music Hall so there were screens everywhere and the camera zoomed in on each of us as we crossed the stage. When I tell you us Black people were showing up, showing out, and making others uncomfortable, I loved it 🥰)
Side note: You can't tell me grad caps weren't only meant for straight hair. I spent close to an hour trying to get it to stay on and look cute.
Edit: I just thought of this but thank GOD I have a Black man who loves my hair at every stage. I met him right after I shaved my head and he loved it. Even when I had an awkward length, matted, or my hair was "undone", HE ATE THAT SHIT UP. Fast forward three years, now I have a fro and he has locs. "We're that Black couple" as my mom says 😂
I rocked my natural hair to my graduation as well. Its short and shrinks up a lot but the amount of stares and shade I got from my peers was crazy! No matter their race they were acting up that day and I dont regret my choice.
So I'm happy to hear others are doing the same. I think natural hair is absolutely beautiful.
When I was natural I kept my hair stretched because it reduced tangling and fairy knots. I didn't mind the shrinkage but keeping it stretched kept my hair healthy and pliable.
Yeah I notice the people usually “calling out” others for hating their shrinkage are people who don’t have dense 4C hair. It’s always the people who have looser texture (even 4b), use heat, have locks, or are able to actually comb their hair. I truly cannot use a comb. Nevermind acceptance, my hair BREAKS, and knots when it shrinks, and it is incredibly painful to even try and part so I can moisturize and do self care. At the end of the day it’s my body my hair, and even my damn shrinkage is political. I decided I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks and as a black woman it’s my legacy and right to do what is best for me. If I want to stretch my hair so that I can spend more time during the week with family, working, socializing, RESTING, then that’s what I’m going to do. And woke UA-cam is just going to have to deal with my “obsession” with living my life I guess.
Almost all long 4C naturals wear there hair in a near constant stretched state either with twists braids or heat, and there’s a reason for that. It’s not obsession. I’ve found people don’t understand or even appreciate what it’s like because it’s not their head they have to deal with after they’re pleased seeing MY hair shrunk to their liking. And yes i have friends who always say “why don’t you wear your hair shrunk” and they’re either always wearing braids or a style, have 4b or less, or have a fade. It’s just rude at that point.
i agree, shrinkage can be hard in more ways than just aesthetically. do what work for you. i like to wear my hair stretched to some degree as well🫶🏾
Do what works for you! It’s your hair at the end of the day. I don’t have 4c hair, but I can say that I personally don’t like not stretching my hair because it gets stuck to my head 😭 the detangling process is horrible because I knot so easily. I imagine that is pretty difficult for denser hair and tighter curls. I’m glad ppl are embracing their natural state, but honestly I feel like we should all do what’s convenient for the individual when it comes to wearing it naturally. The natural hair community has too many rules and trends that causes ppl to tell others what to do with their hair pretty forcefully. Like a lot of times it isn’t even a suggestion, it’s ppl condemning you about how you should do you hair whether you wear it shrunken, twisted out, braided, blow dried, telling you your products are wrong even though they work for YOUR hair 😭 It’s too much. Do what’s best for you! I feel like the ladies are taking a step by at least wearing it out and taking to time to find methods that work for them.
You’re right. Stretching hair is not only for “aesthetic” reasons, it can also prevent breakage from letting your coils love up on each other so much. Don’t let anyone shame you about this because they’re not about to be sitting in the bathroom with a fat tub of leave in lol
I never heard of wearing your hair shrunken until lipgloss video tbh. Not too many ppl do it & I'm guessing mainly bc it can cause tangles, breakage & is just ultimately more work to comb out. The only time my hair is unstrecthed is if I come home w my hair in a bun or something & don't feel like twisting my hair at night for like 2 days straight & it shrinks.
The funny thing is I prefer the way my hair looks shrunken, it gives me the ideal volume and shape. But like you stated, it gets very tangled this way, so I opt for a chunky twist out these days. Honestly I don't know why the standard is supposed to be absolute zero manipulation anyway. Not even the white girlies are doing that y'all, most of them are blow drying and/or flat ironing every morning. There's nothing wrong with STYLING your type 4 hair. The whole point is to understand how to do that based on the qualities of YOUR hair texture.
One of my take aways is that it ok to want hair to be big and long. The problem stems from degrading ourselves and other black women/girls for not having the qualities we admire in other individuals. It's not a bad thing to wear wigs, braids, extentions. But the intention for wanting to wear it in a certain way may or may not be self destructive or toxic. It's a matter of having a better mind set, which is easier said than done.
i agree.
The secret to long hair is loving your hair, which really isn’t a secret. I’m obsessed with long hair and having it but I definitely love my short hair because I know it’ll grow if I give it tlc.
I can’t accept the false statement “hair not long, not meant to be long” why did she say it like it was true???
I think it's because sometimes even when natural hair is long, if your hair naturally shrinks like 80% it's not going to be "long" in terms of appearance if you actually wear your natural hair the way your natural hair grows out the scalp (Without any stretching). So in a sense yes she is correct her hair won't be perceived as long bc it shrinks and that's the length it looks shrunk.
Cause even when 4c hair is long, the shrinkage will make it look short unless you stretch it out. She's trying to love the unstretched, shrunken state of her hair.
It’s true, our hair isn’t meant to “look long” while shrunken. If you don’t accept that you don’t love your hair.
Because honestly if hair shrinks so much it won’t look long, and hair growth and thickness is genetic and yeah you don’t know how long your genes say your hair will grow but if your hair is curly it’s whatever length that is subtracted from how much it shrinks. So some of us will not really grow hair as long as others and on top of that our hair at it’s healthiest will always look shorter than what it is stretched so…
They think their hair can’t grow or someone said it to them. I always had lengthy hair and I knew bw with long hair as well. It’s this rhetoric that these bm got people believing.
As far as the girl Lipgloss, I agreed with her commentary. When I wore my 4b-c twa out at work (didn’t feel comfortable btw) the only compliments I got were from my Asian and White male coworkers. Not a single Black male coworker said anything about it, either way. So that was telling.
As far as my journey, it was 1.5 yrs, and it was…expensive, frustrating, confusing, time consuming. I never got the outcome I thought I would. I thought it would at least come to my shoulders and it never did, it stayed shrunk to me ears or shorter and I never felt comfortable at that length for me. The curl never looked the way I thought it would. It seemed like my hair was softer and coarse in certain sports. I got tired of keeping it in a wig or braids. What’s the point of being natural if you can’t wear it out or gotta wait 3yrs to wear it out. Im sorry but I got a relaxer back in June and Im happier, not cause I want straight hair but because I got tired of having a time consuming, frustrating, long, drawn out hair routine. Even now with a relaxer I don’t blow dry it out or press it all the time and let it look “natural” cause I do love the natural look
With 4c hair keeping it stretched is key, otherwise there’s knots/matts/tangles
It’s horrible😩
@@DivestedFromBlackistann And time consuming. I’m sorry, but I’ll die wearing my protective style.
Lipglosses is beautiful and I hope she keeps going. I’ve been natural my whole life and it’s healthier for my body soul and mind.
Side note: mini twists tutorial 👀✨
will be on my second channel very soon!!🤭
Honestly this whole situation made me check myself and my own biases that I have with texture and length. The fact that I’m more inclined to listen and watch girls with long hair or loose curls and I didn’t even notice it was happening. And what’s crazy is my OWN hair isn’t even loosely textured or long! Lol but I noticed that when someone has something we want, we are more likely to support them or engage with their content. Black women have unhealthy obsessions with length, myself included. I’m working on it but it’s hard especially when things have been ingrained into our minds since childhood. Before I cut it, my hair was bra strap length and I used to get so many compliments and now that it’s shorter, the compliments have lessened. It plays with your mind when people only compliment your hair when it’s styled or looks one way! I also feel like black women should also do the work and check themselves. We have to stop being so judgmental when women choose to wear their hair in it’s natural state.
I saw a tiktok the other day where this girl basically said that when she goes on double dates with her bf, she has to wear a wig so she can be the “best looking” girlfriend. And although it was a joke, it was just really weird to me! Because a lot of the comments were agreeing with her and it just gave me a weird feeling.
Anyways, I think we still have a LOT of work to do within the community 🥹
Long hair is considered more attractive on women across most cultures regardless of race, though.
But that's no reason to hate shrinkage - our hair tends to grow up and out, and that's just as pretty to me. I love me some big hair. I'm obsessed with length regardless of texture because I think it looks better.
I take more issue with the obsession with defining one's hair. Why does my type 4 hair have to be ultra curly for it to be 'presentable'??? I wish I could do the Lipgloss challenge, but I work in a really strict corporate job - I once got formally reprimanded for having my puff too big. And that's with my edges laid.😩😩
definition is definitely also an obscene obsession, i’m sorry that happened to you🥹🫶🏾
But how will blk ppl at least with 4 type hair have visually long hair unless they manipulate it? Seems like anti blackness and the pressure to constantly stretch 4 type hair
@@PrincessYonna1 you can see the length via the circumference. It's obvious my hair is long because of the size of my fro. Wanting long hair is not anti black but ONLY dragging short type 4 hair is.
@@benita8856 I don’t know about that. I have pretty long hair but it shrinks into a small fro without manipulation. Fortunately no one has made rude comments about my hair but people always ask me how I get my hair so coily and I’m like “sis, it’s shirkage”😅
@@musamoshe8643 sameeee!! It shrinks into a twa!
Why did they report her?
Thank you for explaining that. Bm are something serious to report a woman for telling other black women to love their 4c hair.
I almost asked this question too. That's absoutely terrible. I believe my hair looks like that when its shrunken too (no idea, if i left it like that it would be 100% matted) and I do struggle with loving it in that state.
Seeing her hair and hearing her explain her struggles was inspirational and she wouldve inspired me to wear it like her. I was so shocked she got banned bc BM are bitter.
I just wanna thank you for doing these types of videos, it’s really important for black women to come together and discuss what’s happening and how we feel so we don’t completely break down in this world. It’s crazy that as much I feel like I want to love every part of myself, but for some reason I just can’t. It’s literally a battle every single day when I have to get up and fight with thoughts that go through my head when dealing with my hair.
When i went natural, i was going natural with a spirit of rebellion.
I knew i was going against the beauty standard.
I was ready for negative comments. I was ready for it all, because i refused to be the one who has to hide my natural beauty for white supremacy or whatever.
I refused to be the one who had to overthink my looks. I am proud to be black, i am proud to be African. Being African is Beautiful and i love my people.
My hair represents the hair of all my people and ancestors. We Are so many people on this planet with Afro hair. It’s Beautiful period. No need to be shy.
That rebellion is the reason no negativity hurts me , it actually satisfies me, because i want to damage the anti-Black beauty standard and make space for this new beauty. I will force the space into this crazy world. I don’t care 😂😂😂 They can cry. It satisfies me.
@@fruitsarelife7073 it literally drives people insane! I need to be more like you. I always end up giving in and just doing my hair even though I hate doing it
My husband is White and when he met me, i had almost no hair, i just had done a Big chop! He does not care what I do with my hair and he loves me for me! Every man should be like that regardless of race.
A lot of nails were hit in the video! There's a video of a specific UA-camr with short, naturally thin 4C hair explaining her journey on embracing her hair, especially since it's not favored in the natural hair community. People had the audacity to call her "negative" and "discouraging to black girls" for saying this. These people then turned around and said she didn't know how to style her hair because her twist-outs and Bantu knot-outs didn't come out like the usual natural hair gurus. Not long after, they suggested the UA-camr just keep her hair in braids or weave since they think she's insecure about her hair... the hypocrisy in the natural hair community is horrendous.
What's her channel called?-
@@Sarah-yg3us Starpuppy! I love that girl!
Just an fyi, the negative comments about her were on someone else's channel addressing negativity with natural hair
I have been wearing my hair out and I feel a little uncomfortable not going to lie but I’m trying accept that it will never reach the middle of my back naturally bc my texture is 4b/c which shrinkages up the most
we all have to start somewhere😭🫶🏾
@@CamrynElyse trueeee😭 🫶🏾🤍
I understand you. I realized that my hair may not reach my back because my hair grows out(defies gravity), it doesn't fall like how someone with looser texture will. I think that is a common misunderstanding most of us have
I completely agree! Having a more realistic expectation of hair length makes the whole natural hair journey a lot more bearable imo. It takes the pressure off and allows you to enjoy your hair for what it is and not fixate on making it what it’s not. I’m 10 years natural and had I learned that sooner I’d have been less stressed 😅
Same!!! It takes a lot of self confidence to really go out and embrace your hair. Years been comparing myself to people who doesn't have the same hair type. Then we thinking that when it's longer, it'll fall and flow like everyone else's....yeah disappointing, but all we can do is be greatful with what we have and just go with it.
Whenever I wear my afro textured hair ( my hair is long I have Yara Shadidi type curls) I feel like a royal princess. My favorite hairstyle is a casual updo like the hairstyle that the actresses Queen Latifah wore in the film the secret life of bees. Whenever I wear my natural hair I always recieve tons of compliments from non black people. 🐝🍯
yesterday I decided I'm just not putting no more gel in my hair, not even gonna try to do my edges because my hair don't wanna stay in that. I'm just gonna be doing what she's doing .
I'm gonna be going to highschool on August 10th so we'll see what happens but ion even care what they say abt my hair , it's my hair and imma do it how I wanna.
Also to add to the length thing, I shaved my hair multiple times thru covid cause it's thick and grows fast. Literally every type of dude said I looked like a man and they did the same to my sister. Or when me and my sister had our hair shorter we were "baldheaded" Even our own grandma has hated on my mom, my sister, and me on when we shave our hair. My hair is longer now but it's still the point that I shouldn't have to manipulate my hair to feel like I look like a boy
I stopped using gel earlier this year and it’s been growing like craaaazy. I only use edge control maybe three times a month
Oh man...the "are you mixed" question is VERY REAL (and I look black). And when I say no, they say how they cant date black women...as if I asked?
Also I want to say...I don't think wearing our hair in its natural state (freshly washed/conditioned and loose right out the shower) is neccesarily more normal...bc...it gets so tangled! Detangling is an all day affair. Ppl with other hair types brush and comb their hair everyday bc its fast and keeps their hair from tangles. Twisting and braiding is part of our culture and hair routines bc it makes life easier by keeping our hair from tangling...buttttt wearing our twists and braids in a shrunken state would be something new!
i like to wear my twists shrunken, it’s so cute🥹
Detangling doesn't have to be an all day affair if you have the right techniques tho...
I this because I also want to embrace and love my natural hair but I have longer 4c hair and let me tell you the tangling I had after a few days of leaving it shrunken 😮💨I have never spent so much time detangling my hair. I like to keep it stretched for that reason .
@@stephanieassonken289 yes! I have 4a/4b hair w very fine strands and a few patches of 3a/3b....and the single strand knots and tangling I get from not twisting or braiding is very much a real thing.
You can also wash and go with your natural twists (a true shrunken state) and they wont be super tangled...BUT...they will eventually turn into semi dreadlocks if you don't retwist within a few weeks to a month. Our hair is just different, and must be maintained differently.
Maybe only short hair can be true wash and go's and not have a problem.
I think the obsession we have w length also has to do with not knowing what our full potential is and wanting to explore that. Its not like having long nappy hair makes black men love us more, bc they're still on their own journey to self acceptance (most BM dont even get that they dislike their own 4 type hair and thats why its kept so short).
Anyways It's all new for us! We're just exploring!
I do like Lipgloss and I like the awareness she's bringing to the community!
No fr, and they only ask if you’re mixed if they find you attractive or if your hair looks a certain way. Like you can find a purely black woman attractive it’s OKAY😭
Honestly i love my hair, the texture, the thickness. I want my hair to grow soo i can wear it long and curly. It’s not an obsession i just know my hair isn’t at its full potential. Wishing love and prosperity to you all💜
I agree a 100%! Like if you're able to grow your hair by taking good care of it and retaining length then you should be free to do so! It's not an obsession at all and I actually like watching videos on how to be able to grow my hair out.
i like making videos giving tips to help people grow their hair. it’s a fun reward for the hard work, time and effort!
It’s similar to working out. You want to see results of your hard work. Of course you can get obsessive about certain results, but at the root you are doing so cause you want a healthier and stronger body, for it to reach its full most optimal potential
Same with your hair. Yes we can get obsessed with length, but at the root, is length not an indication of healthy hair? We all want healthy hair, on a large scale, we started to fixate on one indication of it (length). Recently I think people are learning shrinkage is also an indication of health, so there’s a shift happening. People are also learning about the beauty and variety of curls. It’s so satisfying fall in love with your OWN curl pattern, so defining your hair is a great way to do so.
Stay hopeful everyone! We are all moving towards a more loving and accepting future. It might seem like we are realizing so much shitty stuff, but the truth is we are waking up from the lie, something is stirring within us, and we are moving towards better. But growth isn’t linear (shrinkage 😆) we don’t always move in the direction we think we should. We have to allow things to flourish on divine time and will, not our own 🙏🏾
I’ve been wearing my hair out since quarantine. People ask me why it looks different every time (shrinkage) I just tell them to go to google. I’m not answering stupid questions.
@@Cutiepie0978 it’s exhausting I’m there to work not talk about it my my hair always behaving different!
People hate their texture. I don’t hate my frizzy hair and I don’t want to change it, I don’t care to have super defined hair. However it feels like everything is geared towards definition and making your hair look like something it isn’t.
One of my favorite things about natural hair is that it's a fighter. It will fight to be it's true self. No matter what you do, it will eventually bounce back, it's truly resilient. Unfortunately, sometimes that is also what I hate about it. But that is only because I want to manipulate it in a way that will fit society's standards. Also the fact that they would report that girl's page for literally minding her business and trying to accept and love herself is wild.
For me, it is a little weird that I’m proudly natural but only wear my natural hair 20% of the time. I struggle with the fact that my hair isn’t long and you said it. Subconsciously I felt less feminine and “messy” as opposed to my long sleek protective styles (esp after having to re-big chop recently). So I think imma start small and try wear out my shorter fro and get used to it😅.
yess do it!! 🤗
Im mixed and I hate when people tell me that I just need to "put some stuff in it" my mom loves to say that. My hair always has products in it. Its frizzy no matter what and I dont care. So annoying that everyone assumes Im willing to do extra or that Im trying to fill some standard of beauty by wearing my hair the way it is naturally. I DONT CARE ABOUT HAIR I DONT NEED TO DO ANYTHING. Im happy there are other people that feel this way
Girl, I love how much ur channel has grown :D
I feel like a lot of black men are hypocritical like ur meant to be supporting us not making us hate it even more in my opinion 😑
love ur vids 😁
i love you🫶🏾
I love that shrinkage means my curls is healthy!! It reminds me that I actually want a healthy scalp and healthy hair over long hair bc I guess on wash days I can SEE that my hair is long and by shrinkage that's even better bc it's another progress of taking good care of my hair!
I think lipgloss looks lovely. On thumbnails ppl choose unflaterring photos of her, but when you see the whole vid she is so cute
i agree, i tried to pick cute poses😅
Natural hair has definitely been a new route for capitalism. I’ve learned after all these years,the simpler the better and to choose health over any beauty standard. Just love your hair enough to take care of it. No matter what it looks like. This was such a good video.
Some people don't think about the fact that we Black folk are built the way we are for a reason. We are blessed. Coily hair that reaches for the sky keeps the brunt of the heat of the sun off our heads, keeping us cooler, making it harder for us to overheat. In this case, shrinkage is good. He he.
black hair is like a cactus. It has a unique appearance doesn't fall out/get thin at age 30 like the other types. All of human features are evolutionary. Black hair was designed to survive in desert conditions. What other hair type can go without water?
@@Sara-zr6wb You had me until the water part. What do you mean when you say what other hair type can go without water?
@@Sara-zr6wb desert?! Have you ever been to West Africa?? It’s humid AF?! And our hair needs water.....
@@reneemattier5883 comparing type 4 hair to others, it can go a long time without needing water compared to people who need to wash their hair everyday or a few days a week. Even though it needs water eventually, it can survive not having to be manipulated or wet every day (locs, braids, twists)
@@notyouraveragejoe7003 I'm not saying it doesn't need it completely, but it can go a longer time without water. And for the desert part I was referring to the older civilizations like Ancient Egoyt and Kush which existed in desert-like climate and harsh sun. If their hair was able to survive and can still be preserved through the ages then I don't see a reason why type 4 can't do that.
Wow, she is exceptionally cute and her hair looks great. It's sad she's getting so much hate. I don't length check my hair. I don't straighten/stretch it (though I acknowledge the privilege I have with a 3c/4a pattern) and I let my stylist cut it for trims as much as she needs and how she thinks it needs to be to have a nice shape. It makes me really sad when people start their journey with, my goal is to have waist length hair. Your hair doesn't have to be long to be valued and frankly long hair is work no one should feel burdened to have if they don't want to.
I really can’t wait for the day when black people (women especially) are at peace with our hair! Thanks for the video!! (P. S. I just cut off all my permed hair after watching this video 🥳 ! ! !)
I did the same thing the Lipgloss girl did about 6 years ago and wheeww the stares that I got from Black people.
This was great! I love videos like this because as someone with 4c natural hair, I had a relaxer for most of my life so when I transitioned to natural hair I didn't only transition physically but also mentally. I had to change the way I thought about what defined beautiful hair and at first I was always manipulating it and finding ways to slick it down or make it look a certain way. However I realized that my hair is beautiful the way it is and I started wearing it out in an afro and have fell in love with the way it makes me look and feel. I hope that more black women can learn to embrace their natural hair because it's a crown and should be loved🥰
I will say going through TSW (topical steroid withdrawal) has rendered me a deeper appreciation for my skin and hair. Losing my “long” hair concurrent to my body and skin being put through the ringer by this debilitating condition has allowed me created a different perspective. I’m grieving the beautiful rich radiant dark skin and type 4 shrunken hair I once possessed. My skin, my hair it was so beautiful, shrunken and all. I know once I make a full recover from this, I don’t think I will dye my hair again. Nor will I constantly over-manipulate my curls by stretching them all the time. I am eager to be comfortable, healed, and flourishing in my body and skin.
Thank you so much for sharing, you give me hope❣️. How long did it take you to heal? When you did, did your hyperpigmentation clear up?
Watched both your videos and I honestly appreciate your points. As a black man I’ve been on a hair journey myself for the past 6 years with my 4C hair out of self love and rediscovery. I noticed ever since I’ve started ,I’ve only been with black women. I’ve gotten so much closer with y’all and I truly do love and appreciate y’all. Y’all have the best hair in the world No matter how it looks to me.Our hair is so diverse and complexing.
It sucks to hear black men are the biggest judges when it comes to hair smh cause we have the same hair and go through hair discrimination as well. I almost lost a job because my hair. So it’s just ironic that black men spit the most hate that hurts. It’s a product of self hate; us not learning to love ourselves. Hip-hop culture ;years of watching music videos and never seeing a beautiful black dark skin women in all her natural glory.Countless conversations about women with the bros or homies where black women are constantly put at the bottom and so much more. As black men we got so much we have to unlearn so much. Great video!
Thank you for the part on the length obsession. I remember that when I was in grade school I would always be complimented on my hair because I have long natural hair. My mother only put my hair in braids which helped it grow, but I never understood why people would like my hair so much when I was jealous of all the afros and slick back puffs and all these styles with their free flying hair that I wished I could do.
From experience, I suspect most people only THINK they want/need length and definition. They really just want their hair to look GOOD. I think length is highly coveted because it has the easiest learning curve with regards to making it look flattering, and you can always tuck it away and up if all else fails. But once you see that you can frame your face shape with shorter hair in a way that looks nice, I've found that deep need for it to be super long goes away.
Third comment;
Shrinkage seems more of the problem in my opinion, a lot of black people have this prejudice against our own shrinkage in terms of appearance.
If there was a way to keep our hair from tangling/matting and forming knots while shrunken having healthy hair wouldn’t be a problem for a lot of us, who love our hair regardless of how it looks(shrunken, stretched, or straightened).
Lip Gloss' YT channel came up in my suggestions recently and it's only because of YT that I know that this is even a conversation. I have no experience with type 4 hair or shrinkage so when I look at Lip Gloss, I just see an attractive, self confident young lady with a hair style that compliments her natural beauty to a T but I'm an older Wht British male (though I don't make it obvious) so what do I know?
That Lip Gloss gets such negative treatment from the very men who should feel drawn to support and protect her is just crazy and speaks volumes regarding the environment over there.
I love her message and hope that many follow her lead as this is the only way that her aesthetic stands any hope of becoming normalised any time soon.
Why do I care? I'm a father of daughters, that's what we do.
I’m a light skin black woman with 4C hair and my daughter is dark skin with 4B hair I say that to say that skin complexion doesn’t determine hair type if that makes sense. I’m so thankful my aunt doesn’t use chemical straighteners aka perms and relaxers in her hair.
To be honest i like bigger more volume hair because my hair naturally grows up and out no matter how how much growth. Lenth should be for people who hair grown naturally downwards.
my hair grows down, i want volume so bad🥹
I'm a puertorican woman with like 3c curls and it's afro (just to give some sort of mental image since charts are different for everyone) and I struggle so much with growing it out because I just have that shit internalized about long hair being like it for beauty and I literally feel better when I get box braids because it's longer. I mostly have my hair out in it's natural state but my obsession with length frustrates me. In PR they love curly hair but HATE it on themselves. I've notice like a half of PR encourage natural hair and the other half rather pay a ton of money to get keratin presses. The amount of encouragement we get whenever we change our hair to straight like I don't get that as much as when I have my curls out. I mostly get/hear "I love your hair" but whenever it's straight, "OMG you look so cuteeeee" which doesn't help either. It's just forcing the idea that curly hair when not matted and like "dirty looking" it's cool but you'll have eyes on you if your hair is straight and/or long.
we need to get out of the habit of pathologizing black women and making their obsession with hair growth a specifically black women phenomenon when cross culturally, most women strive to achieve very long hair. the only difference is it’s easier for those women to retain length. but if you type in how to get long hair on youtube (i guess depending on your algorithm) you’ll see just as many videos of white women or south asian women talking about how to grow long thick hair. black women aren’t special in that regard. we just have specific needs for our hair. there’s no reason why black women shouldn’t also want long hair. our hair can grow long so why not grow it long and why not manipulate it to show off it’s true length? stretching our hair isn’t lying or denying our hair shrinks. i’m not ignoring that our preoccupation with our hair can be harmful. however, long hair is a sign of beauty for women in general so black women want long hair not because they’re black but because they’re still women.
I agree, mostly all women are obsessed or rather desire long hair because it’s always been a sign of beauty. You look at other cultures and their women cherish long hair as much as the next. The difference is that due to their textures, it’s easier to see the length retention. Black hair grows upward and not in a singular direction.
Our hair is long. It's just that society thinks length only counts for looser hair. Our hair grows outward in coils, not down in strings.
Women everywhere in the world are "obsessed" with long hair. Why does it need to sound so bad when black women want it? I'm not saying lipgloss is wrong at all btw
Just from the clips shown....I'm inspired to just leave my hair alone. Thank you Lipgloss 💕
Just hearing about this struggle from all these black women and fem creators I watched is just mindblowingly sad. But yeah as a white fem i can‘t ever fully get that struggle but watching yall talk about this is hella eye opening i feel and i wish more ppl would watch this cause it is so important. Lip gloss especially has been one of my new favorite creators for her confidence and really dope takes on so many things. I just love her! But I love you too! The stuff u talk about is just really informative and I do appreciate it a LOT!
The crazy part is that I’ve lived all of these experiences .
When I was a child, I had a disease that made my hair thin and short. I got made fun of constantly for it by black women and girls and even by black men. But, I found that the white boys were the ones who still found me attractive even with my hair.
Fast forward to now. My natural hair is at about shoulder length in curls and it is thick. I get compliments all the time from everyone about how my hair is thick and beautiful and so pretty. I even have black men flirting with me. But it frustrates me because I don’t really love doing my natural hair.
What a lot of people don’t realize is the time it takes to maintain my hair. And giving up things I want to do because I need to spend hours detangling. And making sure my hair is either ultra defined or super slick when I go outside. It’s exhausting.
So I wanted to get LOCS and the first thing everyone tells me is that “no, don’t get them your hair is so pretty.” As if getting LOCS negates my beauty
As a black people it would be so nice if we could take the pressure off of hair and become hair neutral. Which is where we stop trying to mold our hair into a box and love it for what it does for us. That’s why I love what lipgloss was doing
Sorry this was such a long read. But I feel like this subject is never talked about and I feel the pressure. :)
i love Lipgloss's videos. she's one of the very few creators on here that i actually really related to in looks, mindset, personality. so it's sad to see that she no longer posts on here (or social media in general?? idk) i wish i could wear my natural fro out but my texture and hair is very similar to hers as well and it would just be way to difficult and time consuming to deal with on my own, at least right now. i also have scoliosis and i typically wear really long braids in order to hide it. maybe on day, i'll have the confidence to just not care anymore and just wear it naturally.
I’m a jewish girl with really thick, coarse curls. Growing up around other white girls with pin straight thin hair always had me so confused. I started learning abt hair care from black women in the natural hair community and It was such a blessing. Although my texture wasn’t the same as most of them i learned the basics and from there i went completely natural and still am to this day. It makes me so sad that the community is so toxic to woc and they have to face so much hate based on texture … imo everyone should just do what they want w they own hair and keep it moving - great video !!
White girl here and I love the natural hair. It looks lovely and so feminine.
These men that did this really need to get a life. She has nothing to prove to anyone. Lipgloss is a pretty young lady and her hair has nothing to do with it. I don't have 4c hair, but I'm with her. I just don't have time to "make" my hair do something other than what it wants to do. I wet it and put some moisturizer and a bit of gel for hold. I'm in and out in under 10 minutes. It's just not that serious for this to be made such s big deal. I feel for her.
❤️ this video and I’m not even to the end yet! So many points here I agree with, the struggle is real! I believe we need to own our beauty as black women and not let society dictate it for us. With that comes a new level of freedom. As a locd natural, I have many moments where thoughts of feeling “unkempt” come up especially when I choose to wait a while to retwist. I do it for the health of my hair, but there’s so much pressure to make sure my hair looks “neat” to society. This is a WHOLE conversation and I’m glad we’re having it🪄
Bottom line, the more proximity to Whiteness is deemed better, and more proximity to West African features and hair textures is seen as unattractive for Black WOMEN, not for Black men. Black men can wear short, tightly curled hair styles and be been seen as sexy and hot. (Look at Black male music artists and athletes.) Short and tightly curled hair on Black women is not seen as feminine. It is interesting how West African features is equated with being masculine and not feminine. What.is.that?! What IS that?!!!!
It’s called white supremacy.
It’s about making the white woman better than the black woman. Because the beauty standard is actual power. Everyone used to have their own beauty standard. But after colonization, the white people took that over.
I love that my tightly coiled hair can be long and short. I baffle people when I wear my hair long one week then short the next and I get the question everytime "did you cut your hair?" (from all cultures/ethnicities). I simply respond nope lol. I'm starting to get a kick out of it. It was my little brother who first told me it looked good as it is and that changed my life, because kids don't lie for anyone's feelings lol. But the versatility of type 4 hair is unmatched and I am learning to live in each moment it gives despite the negative eurocentric biases and connotations. (And this shit is not easy lol) 😊🥰 but it does restore power with regenerative confidence you can spread to the next natural/type 4 girlie. This is how we raise the collective consciousness. It starts with ourselves. And fck em if they can't take a joke 😂... Love ♡
I remember one time I was with boyfriend and I had my hair naturally shrunk, these boys passed by and said I thought those were two guys. They thought I was a male because my hairstyle, plus my boyfriend had a hairstyle close to mine
😾🔪
Most of the white people I know always tell me I should perm my hair, so I would look more beautiful/ more feminine. I love my fro how it is.
interesting…
my non black friends always get confused by the word "perm" along with "straightening" when describing it; They usually associate it with curling. This is intriguing.
ah shoot, I mixed it up they meant chemically straighten.
@@Spookycristalmoon -I had a white male co-worker ask me why I did wear my hair like another co-worker who had a relaxer. I said because my hair is the way God made it when I was born. He said he preferred the straight hair. Mind you, he was a married man, and his wife was white. He was one of those covert r-words. 🙄
@@quasar4472 im french, and in french a perm “une permanente” means curling your hair for people with straight hair. However, the relaxers/perms as it used by black people is called “ un défrisage” which literally translates to “un-frizzing”. And so when i heard english speakers referring to a relaxer as a perm, i was confused as well
Such a great video!!!! Made it all the way to the end but I couldn't figure out how to get that emoji 😅😅😭🤷🏿♀️!! As a 4c girl myself with hair that tangles/shrinks like nobody's business and dries up even when it's super moisturized, I so appreciate Lipgloss' commentary 😩😭!! Sis gets it!! The part about getting white boys is too funny because it's so terribly true. No one hates Black hair more than other Black people, argue wit yo mama about that one 😹😹🤷🏿♀️💁🏿♀️!! She's beautiful though 😍 and I'm glad she's exposing the hypocrisy of the black community/white supremacy/texturism/colorism etc. Great video girl💜!
I would wear my hair like that too but what annoyed me was detangling at the end of the week
4c is only bad and nappy when it’s short! That’s so true! I have 4c hair and I wear it out all the time, however the only time I’ve ever received compliments about my hair have been when it was I had extensions, crochet, or clip ins in it. And my 4c hair isn’t even short I just don’t stretch it everyday.
All natural hair types should do like Lipgloss!
Show you hair:
-bed hair
-shrunken
--drawed up
-no manipulation
-little product
-bad hair day
-it’s natural state before all the magic so to speak.
We type 4Cs already know the deal. Also any skin shade can have 4C hair just like any skin shade can have looser hair than 4c.
Even on a bad day looser hair types don’t struggle. Grossly exaggerated, but do 3s and loose coils struggle? IDK.
Ultimately, we have to counteract the perception that 4c hair is bad and the other types are no better, just DIFFERENT. IDK. Anyone have a hair mantra?
Oh and turn off social media.
Most of us probably have lots of knowledge on how to care for our hair but feel the need to keep researching for an answer-- to say shrinkage-that’s what natural does!!!
Love this post and heading to check out Lipgloss!!
Lipglossssss (however many s’s) videos on her hair make me want to try the same thing (wear my natural 4c hair completely shrunk with little manipulation). She makes it look so good. But i know myself and having my hair in anything but braids makes me pull it out subconsciously 😔
I feel like this is an American issue cause the natural hair movement in Brazil is awesome
And i think there needs to be a healthy balance… if you have a hair type that defines easily when wet but frizzes out. I see nothing wrong with wanting to keep the definition.
But if you are a 4c trying to look like a 3c then obviously that can be seen as an issue…
I will never intentionally let my hair shrink because there is absolutely no reason for me to leave my 4c hair to shrink and tangle on each other just for me to come back in 2 weeks for wash day and cry and spend hours to detangle
What is up with all this ‘white girls can just get up and leave’ this maybe be true (most times it’s not) but are we them!? Do they have the kinks we do!?
No
So take care of your hair not in the way other races do but the way your hair would prosper
What is the point of leaving my 4c hair to shrink up on itself?? I will regret it later not because of beauty or whatnot but because it is unnecessary stress
I wear twists in my hair, with no added hair
That’s still embracing my 4c hair
This should be pinned
Alot of people are talking about needing to stretch your hair to keep out tangles. The secret is you don't have to remove every tangle in your hair, you don't need to put a comb through it. There are many people who only detangle in the shower during wash day or never use a comb. My tip: make sure you hair is clean, don't let it stay wet all the time, fluff it with your fingers so it can breathe. Generally you will be fine you can do anything you want at that point.
My hair is in locs atm but I do have 4c hair. Personally I liked to pick out my short hair to let it breathe
I wish i found this sooner. I’ve been wear my hair natural and i did a big chop in 2018. I locs my hair from 2021-2023. Nonetheless I’m still glad i found this at all since i literally just cut my hair. Getting myself heated up for weird and negative comments I’ll receive from now on. I love the message she was speaking about wearing her hair as is. Wishing her well and to all of my natural sisters too
I'm feeling exactly like that lip gloss girl. All this drama to make my hair for in is exhausting. It takes too much time and energy to constantly change it. Why can't we just be the biggest promoters of our hair as it really is, who cares of other races like it, they don't have too like it but we do and should love it. I'm so sick of the vanity in this society it's sick.
I have big chopped and rocked a buzz cut for about a year or so and two year later it is fully grown out my hair is at a pretty good length and it's full everybody likes my hair but not when it short like the amount of person asked me about my hair care because they see length but when it was short and growing out of the buzz cut only a few person would show my hair some love the long and short of the story is that if they don't see length you don't have good hair
I've done big chops many times in my adult life. One time, a few years ago when I cut if off, my mom, brother and uncle told me not to do that again. They didn't crack jokes or get disrespectful but that was the moment I really realized how important length is to Black people. I love my hair short and long. But I've been told by other Black women that I wouldn't cut it off at all if it didn't grow back so quickly. I understand them, but disagree. Great video once again!!💯⚜️🪄
“The whites is getting up … splashing water on they face and leaving the house “ 😂😂😂😂😂 I have never laughed so hard in my life
I love your content! Your points are right on!! I am about to wash my hair in the shower with a good smelling/Fancy shampoo and Moroccan oil conditioner and then I'm gonna do a twist out with ONLY smooth shea butter with a strawberry shortcake scent since I ran out of Argan oil and that is it . No wash day/headache!! And I'm gonna go have a Fancy Girl Summer!
i’m glad you’re enjoying it🫶🏾
Gr8 follow up video Sis 🙌🏾 I wanted to comment, Lipgloss is adorable as well her lovely hair. I started wearing my natural texture in 2002 with my first of many big chops, I rocked moisturized TWA’s until it grew back and then wore mostly two strand twist for maintenance. I absolutely LOVE my hair, it’s texture, density, thickness, versatility and shrinkage (which is a great sign of hair health). I even shaved my hair twice and honestly, it was the most freeing and feminine, I felt. I agree that we have to set the standards for our hair, 🗣 BLACK WOMEN, no one else, just US ✊🏾 once we embrace and love ourselves, it won’t be anything, anyone can tell us 🙌🏾
Omg I get the "are you mixed" "where are your really from" questions all the time smh.
it’s definitely new for me🫣
I’m confused because you look very black especially with your hair type 😭
I started my loc journey because its DIY low maintenance and cheap like all you need is water and oil 1 shampoo. At first I didn't think about length. I just went for cause I was on budget mother of 3 working night shift .I didn't have time for my hair and locs was THE hair style when your hair is done even when it's not. I got lots of bad comments when it was short .my husband who is Caucasian told me it was the worst decision I did take for my hair .Black people told it looked dirty .my mother was totally appalled but I couldn't care less I was too busy my pace of life was crazy .and that's all I could afford .I had no money for buying hair or paying a stylist..After year 4 as it was growing .I noticed people comments changed from bad to good .and now 10 years in people are begging me not to cut ! There is definitely an obsession about length. I had long hair since childhood even when permed ,so I never realised the respect you progressively get as your hair grow ! It is definitely a thing .but I think it is in all community .it's a psychological thing I read about .women with long hair in the subconscious are associates with fertility so men are naturally more attracted to women with long hair ? So I read not my personal opinion though but this could explain. Very sad though that from short to long hair I have seen the all narrative about my hair change .but I am still the same I haven't changed .I shared .cause I think its very true and black people need to hear this more for awareness
I had a conversation with a white friend about hair. They do have to do a lot to their hair. They wash it every other day at least. Some every day. If they go out with their hair wet they get judged by their counterparts. Wet dog…… they have to blow dry their hair every single day. If they don’t they have dry shampoo or mousse. So I realized beauty is beauty no matter the race.
Agreed. I don't care what they do over there but the average woman does some level of manipulation to their hair before leaving the house or risk being subject to scrutiny and criticism. So prepping and styling the hair doesn't necessarily equate self-hatred.
@@SimpleeKomplex Exactly I used to work in a diverse salon & women of other ethnicities alter hair color & texture too whether it's a regular blow out or Brazilian blowout or hair color, or high lights. It's a preference thing. It's just like saying leave them toes in it's natural state & length too, no polish, filing, or pedi.😂😂😂
@@SimpleeKomplex I mean it is low self esteem if you're going to break your back for hair everyday because of people's opinions..
This is beautiful! My hair doesn’t like to be in it’s shrunken state tho. I like to put it in twists or stretch it with braids/ twists or a blowdryer. Because it will be 1 big knott in no time! I think everyone should just do what works fo them
Loved the video 🪄🪄🪄
My obsession is not length but volume and fuller hair, I just don’t like the thin look , I stop caring about length because natural hair is supposed to grow out not down, if you’re 4 type.
"... natural hair is supposed to grow out not down if you're 4 type."
Not all type 4 is created equal. My type 4 grows out and down, not out and up.
@@AnNeachDorcha cool
Nice topic, but I must weigh in. I have 4C hair & I love my hair blown out. I/Me this is what I love, not based on no1 else's opinion. It's not a bad thing to have preferences just like we have a favorite color, food, clothes, etc. It's just like saying wear your natural nails with it's natural length, with no polish, filing, tips, shape, pedi, or mani. It's a desireable thing. It's also not solely a black thing but a womens thing because I worked at a diverse hair salon & other women of different races are huge on hair color, blow outs, & cuts which is opposite of their natural hair color, texture, & lengths as well. With me, I'm all about manageability with my hair, anything that will make combing & styling easier, I'm for it. When it comes to long & short hair, I see it as what goes best with a person's face. I have a round face so length goes best with my facial shape, but I've always seen women with smaller or slimmer faces rock short hair styles with no problem as I did with no problem in my late teens & early 20s. I also love wigs, weaves, & straight styles. I'm a creative person whose also a hair stylist so I love hair color & wigs & weaves gives me that advantage to wear hair color without damaging my hair natural hair. I also know that my hair grows faster & healthier when I leave it alone, in protective styles. I let it down to breath & give it some TLC with wash, condition, & to clip my ends.
When it comes to mens opinions, they're allowed to have opinions the same as women. It's how you receive it, we can either reject or accept it. We shouldn't get offended so easily. Though you received it negatively, he probably meant it as a compliment. They have preferences too & it's not their fault if they've never had the opportunity to be exposed to different looking black women other than what they've seen in their communities. Also the truth is most of us are mixed with different ethnicities including native American Indians. Whether it's from recent generations or 5 or 6 generations back, at the end of the day we're all human. On the other end some women desire bald men with beards, men with locs, etc. I mean you're not gonna want your man to walk around with a bald face & shaved beard are you? It's because it's your preference, which may or may not be his. My husband & I have been together for 23 years & I put him onto beards & he haven't looked back since. My husband's texture is loose wavy as with most of the women in his family. Long before marriage he has saw my hair in every way possible the desired & undesirable looks including shrinkage short, natural, broken, & thin edges. He has had a couple preferences with my hair as well, but it's never been his main focus. He's even saw my hair shaved with clippers, so I know what he sees in me has nothing to do with my hair but everything to do with my heart. So, I say however you choose to style your hair, for whatever reasons, is your choice. Who cares what others think or say or whether it's trend or not. Also most men that I've seen, known, family, friends, etc. they're more simpler than you think. Sure they have their preferences but if they sense a deeper than surface connection, they're rolling with whatever makes you happy.