Why Does It Take Months For An Ex To Come Back?
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
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A recent study conducted by Ex Boyfriend Recovery has found,
That on average it takes 5.2 months for an ex to come back after a breakup.
Today, we're going to look at why it tends to take so long for an ex to come back around after a breakup.
We believe it has something to do with these concepts,
Avoidants on average take longer reconnect with
Time dilation factors
Anxious behavior from our clients can extend the waiting period
Situational considerations
Let's dig in! - Навчання та стиль
It takes months for an ex to come back because they are busy entertaining “greener grass”, they’ll come back to you when they can’t find a replacement
And that is when I turn them down, because I'm no one's option.
Fr
That's when i say goodbye. If I want the first choice then the hell with you.
Sorry you made that frustrating experience, but it doesnt mean this is standard or general procedure.
@@tanguerogoYes it is
I believe it will take a while for the dumper to learn and appreciate what they had. The longer the better. That's when the tables truly turn and they may have a true change of heart.
They come back if the new "toy" isn't as good as the old one. Ofc they can skip for a newer one... after some they may realize that "that" person wasn't that bad after all
You have to remember a narcissist is basically a child in an adults body. So they act like being told off by their parents when they were a child. They leave and don’t want to return until they feel their parents have cooled off and/or given time to forgive the child. Or even an amount of time had passed where the parent may have forgotten what the child had done in the first place. Fast forward to the adult narcissist and they are basically doing the same with an ex partner, they return when they hope enough time has passed by and you as the victim has either forgiven them or forgotten what the argument was actually over
If they let you go and move on, then regret it and want you back, tell them no too late
He's avoidant I'm secure. I can't handle his wishy-washy ways. I ended things in December and heard from him in May. I've moved on and not available. I told him and he went silent 😶. I wish it was him but he's got issues and never let me in in 4 yrs. I have to move on. But I'm happy with my new person. 🙏
Good job Sofi. I wish I did the same thing but I have the Anxious attachment style.
Similar in my situation. What helps me is reading these comments and knowing there are people out there going through the same thing. Its a real thing. And yes they have certain issues. Sucks either way
Good for you Sofi. Good riddance.
You are one of the rarest and luckiest persons, I could say, having the secure attachment style. I have an anxious attach and I m rly trying to get over my ex. My ex who is an avoidant and also a narcissist… that is from his actions.
That’s great! You are correct that if the issue is with them, they should work by themselves, we can’t change their inner world if they do not open the door:! Thank You for sharing your story!!
A little after 3 months were talking again and as of last week we started having sex, and she says she misses us but not the old relationship, I also agreed with her that's why we have to start over with a clean slate not bringing anything into the new relationship. I've been going to counseling for the last 3 months and she definitely sees the difference of my progress, so I hope we will work out and be together again
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex 3 days ago without delay
He will definitely help you he have solutions to all problems,
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I love the time span of this video. 11:11
That’s exactly what other coaches said… an average of FIVE months. It’s crazy. Good luck everybody
Avoidant partners are the worst its like banging your head against a brick wall on a daily basis being with them, they constantly send mixed signals there coldness and heartlessness is like no other they are sub human facts avoid these people at all costs for your own sanity.
But the sad thing is by the time you figure it out its too late.
Not true. I’m an avoidant and I’m becoming a secure. Losing a good relationship can be a good thing for us because we can seek help and love our partners better the next time. You are just hurt.
@@teeteegmail1298 so where you not all those things in your past relationship?
An avoidant is for fun and playtime. Never take them seriously.
@@bhwillis1048 ha I learned the hard way never again 👍
your right man you nailed it!. I've been there before. it's too late you figure out what true color she is.
By far the best break up videos I've seen so far.
Dismissive Avoidants will make even the most secure person (me) feel anxiously attached and insecure. It is wild. Don't ever let them and get a grip on it.
Happened to me. Fearful avoidant wife.
Made me anxious as hell. I feel violated, deceived, trampled on.
This has been eye opening. Thank you.
You're true to your words that's what I love and this video puts a new perspective on the getting back or regretting the decision
I'm gonna keep it simple
Let them go and hold onto yourself! Avoidants aren't worth the energy effort hurt etc.
Let them go and hold onto yourself!
💯
Why would anyone want an avoidant type ex back? Why subject oneself to the same torture and never receive what they need? Just move on people, find yourself a lovely secure person who will be healthier for you. Leave the avoidant with himself
I'm 5 months into no contact. I can now see why one is two months is not enough. Did that before and we broke up again a couple of months later. I'm now a different person and don't depend on her even though I miss her I'm not desperate. Had only a couple of emails since but nothing that lead to anything. What ever happens, I'm not going to make it easy if I let her back into my life at all. Statistically what I read is that they never work on themselves and you will just break up again . Sad but reality.
Wow, you are so practical!
Well, mine moved out of state when he broke up with me....it's been 7 months...while he still reaches out to me through text, even buying me flowers and sending me money, I dont think he will ever leave his family or his state and return to me. I'm coming to terms with him never coming back.
Accurate! It too 8 months in my situation
This is pretty much the situation I’m in. I always had to bring up the tough conversation because she didn’t know how to speak her mind and when she started crossing boundaries instead of trying to work things out she said it’s better for her to be single right now. We also lived and had a lease together so 2 months post break up, being an Anxious type I’ve had nights crying, pleading where the relationship went wrong, being angry and argumentative which seemed to only push her further away and reassure her she made the right choice. I wish I was as level headed then than I am now. I’m not giving her the space and I want falter by contacting her but I just hope it’s not too far gone. She asked how I was doing 3 weeks ago and I kept it very minimal and respectful, haven’t heard from her since.
Never, ever cry in front of her. Unless your mom or dad died. Go for a walk instead.
I love these videos and they have been so helpful. I am curious about one thing . When you mention in your video "Competitor" why are they your competitors ? How about they are humans with different advice? We are all in this together ....so for me, I listen to people who I resonate with. My Mom was MFCC and she gave me the best advice in regards to finding a therapist . she advised I choose a therapists where I feel safe... heard... understood and one with whom I resonate with. So, the word competitor is a curious choice of words . Thoughts ?
I never went back and eleven years later, I have moved on and met another man and married him.
My ex and I broke up. He got a new gf within 3 weeks. I did no contact straight away. Sent one long email in that time. He came back 2 months later. He said he would change things and did some but not all. Was incredible for a year then I found a message on his phone. Wouldnt explain it and he broke up with me stating ridiculous non important reasons. I didn’t do no contact as he said was taking a break and wanting to stay in contact. It wasn’t proper contact though and made me feel and do insecure things. He has no emotional interest in me any more. Chasing every other woman alive but me. 5 months later I’ve started a strict no contact. Maybe too late but only chance to make him feel something and maybe change
Also the time period calculation of the no contact period is quite right , in fact I would say 6 months to 2 yrs and may take a bit longer but one truly needs to move on
Agreed. Took one of my exes 2 years to realize I was his “person”. Left flowers on my doorstep one day and a card the next. Now he’s ready for marriage and babies…meanwhile I’m still trying to process how 3 years flew by so fast. He said he’s been pining after me the moment we broke up and while with his rebound gf for 2 years. STAY AWAY! Avoidants can rock you to your core. DONT LET THEM. I wish I would’ve known about these things 6 years ago when we started dating. But you live and you learn.
Been FWB for 2 years and she doesn’t want to come back.. So I trying to let go and give up.. I been hurting myself for to long.
i was emotionally draining him, it was too late for me to fix myself and our relationship. will he come back
I think avoidants also are wanting commitment But have been previous hurt so too scared to get close and commit ,
Can you do a video like this on fearful avoidants pleaseeeee😁
When they are gone, they are gone. The choose to leave. Do not wait for anyone to come back, it is silly. They overwhelmingly do not anyway.
What if it was the crazy mother in law who sabotaged the relationship? Can you please do a video on this? Exes who haven't individuated!
what about after 8 months? I don't understand why I can't move on but it seems most people can after 8 months...
Same here you’re not the only one
Me too I've been living apart from the mother of my kidsfor 2 years separated for 1 can't move on
Wait so yall came here to find out how to get a crazy person back? Im trying to figure out how to stop attracting these psychos! I have an ex thats been stalking me since 2006! Trust me, you dont want this person back! You want who you thought they were to come back!
The sad part of that they don't always come back...
Does it apply for a LDR?
7 month in my case he didn't even stop and ask how am I once. Well I probably deserve it but still. 5 years
This doesnt really work with the "secure" type of ex nop?
Hey i need your help tell me in my case : me and my ex-boyfriend were fighting like any normal couple ( its LDR)
But in this time he told me bad words and hurted me so much so i told him that m leaving then we didn't talk again (i closed my social accnts but when i reopen them the next day he blocked me)
So i feel like i am the one who dumped him
Wish u tell me because m so confused about should i reache out or no
It's have been tow months since the break up.
Funny that I had the same story experience from my ldr ex
Almost a year and a half and i never comeback for my ex.
He came back 2 months after dumping me and lasted over a months with his rebound he came back made me trust in him again and dumped me again for no reason I am finally moving to a different state because he hurted me so much. 💔
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex 3 days ago without delay
He will definitely help you he have solutions to all problems,
I am sorry to know this. Are you feeling any better?
Months? For my case is after 4 years of no contact with diff phone number
I am anxious and secure now. My one ex Nick is an advoidant. Nick was the one who asked me for space and time. Gave him plenty of space and time. Several times he tried to rekindle our love for a relationship felt used for sex by him. He has been trying to come back to me after failed attempts of rebound relationships. During our past relationship we cheated on each other. I regret it and ask forgiveness. Thought he accept the apology and forgiveness by me but never fully moved on by it. How will I know if he is coming back to stay?
He was the one who helped me in restoring back my ex 3 days ago without delay
He will definitely help you he have solutions to all problems,
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I feel like my anxiety is getting worse as time goes on. I’m four months in.
sameee 4 months for me too
The most important question is: What was the reason of the breakup? This makes the odds and time frame.
1. Abusive relationship? Not back ever pls.
2. Breakup in a heavy argument?
3. Serious trust issues or commitment problems?
4. Empty relationship?
This video is 11:11 long. 😁
I might not be available in 5 months
😂 so what if (and I'm not joking here) husband of 10 years gets deployed overseas, cheats with another solider on pass, and separates from you... (their not at the same location anymore but he wants to snapchat her.. says he will always love me but doesn't believe in the marriage anymore.. wants to be best friends again so we can coparent the kiddos...
Idk if I have a fearful attachment style or if it's just because I have bipolar 😂
Stay away from relationships before you hurt an innocent soul just stick with casual se….x
More like passive aggressive
She never came back. Went into something else
Do these research work on women because i am a guy indont want my man its a woman.
Its Been 6 months Bruh 😂
I'd like to ask You about my case. Short. We've been togehter for 3,5 year (live together). Brokeup for 9 months. Get back togerher for 6 months. Both was dissapointed and brokeup again. There was a children + family issue. Whe wanted i didnt. When i did was to late. 2 months after brokeup she went to Spain - 2500 km and is there for 3 months. Generally no contact for 30 days. I know she tried to date others but all failed - they dont speak english and she is bit tall and bit muscular spanish guys are bit smaller and mediocre. She is single (live with other girl) in the country where almost nobody speeks english. Lonely for sure. Next week will be her birthday. I want to ask her to try one more time. I dont think small talk will do the job. She needs real arguments to leave Spain because she has her lives there. I know for sure she will be massive depressed that day and after that she will be much better - i know her. Questons: should I ask her at all? Should i ask her in her birthday or after that? Should i ask her small talk way first? I dont belive she will reach me at all or even answer if it is small talk version. She dont even read my smses. She thinks i have a GF and seems she lives in Spain for good. Im sure she is at stage 1. I want someone to love me.