Just saying, that little excerpt that you showed was phenomenal! It really conveyed a strong emotion (I felt one of deep love and loss, but I don't know the real feelings without context) without getting too wordy. Great video. I think I'll refer to this quite a bit as I write.
For me, dialogue is done the easiest if you have a solid foundation for your character So it's not mostly a question of "Does this sound realistic?", But a question of "Does this dialogue make sense for This specific character?"
"Does this sound realistic?" could very well imply that, as well Does it sound realistic that this particular character would say this particular line at this particular moment
@@hayatobun I don't want to answer for Boid, but I'll make a distinction. I agree with your thought process, but not your (or Tim's) word choice. "Realistic" can mean "believable" which is how I read your comment. But "realistic" has the root "real" right there in it. And we're writing fiction here. Some of my characters aren't going to be "realistic" by any definition of the word. I have immortal gargoyles who are currently thousands of years old and turn to stone during the day to draw their magical powers from the sun. There is no human experience that can relate to that. All of this is to say I like how @Boid said it.
@@leonardoeneria3100 well, sometimes the character having a reaction inapropriate for the situation is what makes the character, i think character must be more consistent with themselves than with the real world, if they act realistic it must be because the character is grounded, not because that is what people do in real life
@@carlosroo5460 Here is a couple of things to think about. Why does the third point of your love triangle(the one getting excluded) like the main point? What do they in common with them, and what are things that would pull them apart? What's their relationship with their rival, did they know them before or is the love triangle their only view of them? Just because the two rivals in the love triangle are competing, doesn't mean they can't have their own relationship out side of it. Maybe developing that more could open up more branches with the main point? PS, I've never written a love triangle before, sorry if these don't work out.
@@helloill672 thay doesn't work becuase then the two rivals end up being shipped with eachother just as much or sometimes more than with the person they are fighting over🤣
I will second that! I fell in love with this book because it is basically a Lovecraft story through the eyes of a character whose response to creepy writing made out of fungi or some weird thing with a human face moaning in the marshes is: "Huh. Interesting! I mean...yeah, creepy and possibly dangerous. But SUPER interesting."
When I was little, I was reading "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm" as my mom drove me home from school. I stopped reading to ask "mom what does ejaculated mean?" The look of horror on her face was something I'll never forget. She flustered a bit before asking me to give more context for my question, and after I read the passage out loud to her, she practically melted with relief before answering the question.
Thank you for addressing "said" like this. I remember in school teachers always wanted us to use other words, and some even had a poster with a bunch of alternatives to "said". Then, the moment I tried actual writing for myself, I immediately went back and just used said for most of my dialogue tags, because it just sounds weird to use words like *_ejaculated_* and I didn't want to sound weird.
Edit: he mentions this in the video, I hadn't started watching it yet... I've always used actions to fill the space of "said." It usually isn't that noticeable depending on how it's used. Always in moderation, of course. Small little actions like the character moving their head or arm, maybe continuing the movement that is going on while the dialogue is occurring to make the scene less static. It allows me to clarify which character said what without using "said" or other synonyms too frequently. That being said, sometimes a character does just SAY something, and it makes no sense to use something else. I get tired of seeing constant synonyms, it's annoying. Although if used too much, "said" can be annoying too.
In actual writing, it’s true that « said » and basic, simple words are often more useful and clear, less clunky. But your teachers asking to diversify your vocabulary served more purposes than teaching you how to write good prose. Its meant to teach students think about, use and expand their vocabulary. The more you think about your words, the more easily you’re able to access them, remember you know them. It also forces you to think about your intention with your text. What do your characters think and feel, and make sure you express it in your prose. It’s like learning any physical activity. To master technique, you start with slow, exaggerated and actually useless movements to get you body used to whatever you’re doing, and the better you get at it, the more focused and concise you become, while still getting the intended result. A high school teacher can’t teach to write well before teaching how to write at all, and it being a universal and generalist setting, the focus is getting , ideally, everybody up to speed on writing and language and vocabulary so those interested can make use of things like this video, and those not can at least function efficiently.
yeah I remember being in school and about 10 or 11 and asked my teacher if I had to use dialogue tags, I thought they sounded bad lmao, i was told you need them for clarity. I have learned you need them when you don't know who is speaking or if it adds to the scene and as you say said can be fine.
@@Thomas.Wright *"No, damn Talos for his unprovoked attack upon the Summerset Isles with the Numidium, he doesn't deserve to be venerated as one of the Aedra"*
@@thalmoragent9344 Reminds me of the time I accidentally stumbled upon a rather detailed, literal fanart depiction of the line with Slughorn as a child.
I had a Latin professor in collage who was adamant that we should translate passages in a natural, contemporary style rather than literally. Once he commented after I'd translated an exchange between characters and ended it with "Farewell." "Really, would you say 'farewell' to someone in real life." ...yes actually. I use "farewell" quite often and completely unironically, especially with friends and family. I guess it's a personal character dialogue quirk.
Yeah see there you got a bit of a lesson in using dialogue for characterization. If you were a character in a book, the audience would probably pick up the use of “farewell” as a character quirk, specially if most other people dont use it.
Dialogue gets a lot easier when you spend as much time thinking about how someone would try to tell you about the worst behavior they've ever engaged in as you might on world-building. You start seeing a lot of flaws, mannerisms, and thought process they'd work by and you can apply that to interactions with other characters. Of course, it would not be nearly to as extreme of a degree as facing the worst thing they've ever done, but you know the foundational work so the next part is easier.
I'm doing my bachelor right now (writing and illustrating a comic) and your books are a god sent. Seriously they're helping me so much with the worldbuilding of my story. Not to mention having some good reference material for my thesis :D
I know this reply is late, but I was hoping for some advice from someone in college. I want to create a manga/comic and I worry that simply watching UA-cam videos won’t teach me enough. Do you recommend going to college? (Also if you know any other helpful UA-cam channels, please let me know!)
Full circle: It was watching your videos back in 2019 that got me interested in Avatar the Last Airbender. I had never heard of it before since I was in my 20’s when it first aired and I was working full time. Now I use your writing videos to write better ATLA fanfiction. Thank you.
I remember in V for Vendetta (graphic novel), one of the rules for V's dialogue (when he's not quoting someone) is that his dialogue is in iambic pentameter, which further adds to his V/5 theme.
9:51 - Try reading Pride & Prejudice. Jane Austen is a wonderful writer, but she'll have a page full of dialogue between 4 or 5 characters without a single tag to tell you who's speaking. Was that Mrs. Hurst or was that Elizabeth or was that Mr. Darcy? Not tagging your dialogue is a good way to get your readers lost and have them stop reading to go back and re-read and mark up your book to figure out what just happened. Let your characters talk, by all means, but if there's more than two in a conversation make sure to tag them. (At least tag whenever one of the primary two participants changes.) Fun fact, your characters can use each other's names diegetically to show who's speaking as well.
One thing I'll point out about the untagged dialogue: that's best used for snappy quick dialogue or situations where it's incredibly obvious who's speaking. Examples --Quick witty repartee between two characters - if it's something that reads quickly, the odds are much lower that someone will get distracted partway through an untagged block and need to backtrack to the last dialogue tag to figure out who's speaking. Bonus points if you nail distinctive character voices, because then you can figure it out within the dialogue. --Someone knowledgeable talking about what they know never needs a tag to identify them, as long as their expertise is unique within the group and known to the reader. A professor teaching a lesson, Kelsier explaining the uses of the Allomantic metals to Vin, a doctor giving a medical diagnosis. This is because the sheer depth of knowledge being shown makes it obvious. Sure there's 50 students in that classroom, but none of them are going to be giving the lecture. If its ordinary conversation, please throw a simple said tag in every once in a while. Sure your most diehard fans and the hardcore readers are going to be 100% focused - that's why you use said: it's a short tag that is effectively invisible to most long term readers. But a lot of folks are going to face occasional distractions that pull them out of that zone. And if you've been distracted, skimming for a said tag is easy, and if it's within 5 lines or so of any given point, it's easy to find. Character voice can be trickier to pick up while skimming, since you're actually having to analyze the words said rather than just looking for the verb "said" "Said" tags also have an implied sense of normality. They imply nothing particularly important or unusual is happening when they're used instead of an action tag, and their extended absence implies a sense of tension or urgency. The longer you go without a said tag, the more momentum builds, and while that's good in some circumstances, it's bad in others. Dialogue written about a date might start with lots of tags and end with few (indicating the date is going well, the participants are very engaged in the conversation), or start with few and add in more (indicating a growing disconnect). A conversation between criminals that gets interrupted by a police raid might start with more said tags then usual, then drop them entirely when the police show up and start barking orders. (Indeed, in that circumstance, it's alright if who's speaking gets a little confused - those situations tend to be rather fraught, so the dialogue should reflect that somewhat.
Yes!! I'm in this part of the video. Tags are a blessing when we are not intimate to the characters yet or they talk very similarly (not that they don't have their own voices necessarily, but things like internal jokes anyone in the group could make). Feel things take me away more than trying to decipher what's going and who said what.
This was super interesting. I'm a playwright so I write dialogue all the time but never think about dialogue tags (since it's just not a part of the medium) so I found that discussion really interesting. I do think about contrast and word choice and stuff like that all the time though. One thing this video didn't address (and that may again be because of medium differences between plays and books) is dialogue rhythm or pauses. I think about pauses and silence a lot because conversation flow (which in play script format is indicated with the word 'beat' for long pauses, through elipsis for trailing off, and through m dashes when a character either cuts themself off or is cut off by another character/interrupted) is really important in getting across how people are feeling. Example: "Yeah, but I just... yeah. Okay. (beat) Thanks." With different rhythm indicated, you can imagine this coming across different, like "Yeah but- I just- Yeah. Okay, thanks." To me, the first reading of this line indicates a person who's processing the information they've been told. They wanna defend themself but then decide instead to actually take in what someone has said instead of defend themself. In the second, it's a person who's not interested in hearing this information and is instead deciding to agree with who they're talking to to end the conversation faster and then maybe go complain to someone else about the annoying info they received without really taking it in. Some of this in theater is done by actors, but as a playwright, adding indications of how my dialogue should read in terms of rhythm can help an actor understand a character's emotional response without adding clunky stage directions like (sarcastically) or (teasing) or (annoyed), which I can tell you actors tend not to like because it's too micromanaging and honestly the tone should come through without having to explicitly tell the actor that the character is angry or sad. I kinda feel like this translates into books to some extent, at least to me it seems like stage directions are more like dialogue tags and using them excessively in both mediums is annoying to readers/actors trying to understand the characters. Anyway, loved the video just thought my two cents on the importance of rhythm/pauses might be useful to someone else.
I had missed the detail about how Tyrion focuses on human cruelty in his examples because people were often mean to him since he was a dwarf. Thats a great catch.
That "How am I spending half an hour doing this?" in the bloopers is incredibly relatable. Sometimes the most simplest of lines/scenes is impossible to film for some reason
In terms of "realistic dialogue", something I noticed just today in a conversation with my yoga students is that people have a tendency to talk about themselves or twist the information shared in a way that's relevant for them. I assume because people want to speak from their own experiences and opinions. Example: Person A: "It's so hard to just sit still in a pose!" Person B: "Yeah! I just kept thinking about what I'll cook for dinner tonight." Person C: "I had that in the beginning, but I do notice that taking more classes helped me focus longer." That observation brought me back to a memorable lesson I learned in a communication class. My professor asked, "What is communication?" My classmates gave all sorts of answers, except the right one. "Communication means you 'want' something from another." In short, people are selfish. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it does help to inform a more realistic approach to writing dialogue. I figured I'd share it. :)
“A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus: 1. What am I trying to say? 2. What words will express it? 3. What image or idiom will make it clearer? 4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?" -- George Orwell This quote has been my silent editor and muse for ages.
The focus of the characters is easily one of those important things that tend to get lost in translation when writers give advice about dialogue. It's one of those things that have made me go 'this is great dialogue' in my own writing without being able to put my finger on why it sounds so much better than the 39 other attempts at the same scene. Really appreciate all your writing advice videos. They're clear, succinct and to the point with great examples. Edit: Needed to add that that passage of yours was absolutely beautiful and really touching. You really nailed it on the zooming out on the "unimportant, yet important" stuff, and pulling us in for the emotional kill. Beautiful.
Hey! Your videos are not only super helpful but also so entertaining and fun to watch! I really like your editing and cutting! You make this so fun, I feel like I learned a lot with you! Thank you for your hard work and all your amazing videos! :D
This video is genius, Tim. You have a way of making me see and consider things in ways I hadn’t before and shake up the way I think about stories and writing them. Thank you from the bottom of a confused, ocasional writer's heart. And I love that so many of what you talk about is related to fantasy and sci-if haha
I love the character voices in His Dark Marterials, because they all have their accents. The gyptians have a really strong accent (that I even struggled to understand at first when I read it in English for the first time as a non-native speaker). People from higher classes or higher education mostly speak very clearly and with "big" words
I love these videos. You talk in a round about, forgiving way so that it's easy to understand from many different angels; However, you never linger on a subject too long making the viewer feel competent. Then you'll make references to earlier topics when explaining another helping things click.
The Wandering Inn by pirateaba never uses plain dialogue tags. Ever. Action tags and character speech patterns only. It usually works, and it creates some really engrossing scenes. Sometimes it doesn't work quite as well, and its hard to follow precisely. But usually, its a feat of incredible writing.
Stormlight Archives has the best "character voice" in my personal reading experience. Every character stepped into the stage and within 3-4 lines of dialogue their voice look and personality practically formed themselves in my mind
I agree, and it goes beyond dialogue. Sanderson has drawn criticism for his simplistic prose, and while I understand where it is coming from, I have read no other works where I can easily identify the viewpoint character simply by the way the voice of the prose changes when it shifts to their viewpoint. I see passages go around from time to time, and even ones where there is no direct indication by name whose viewpoint it is and there are several main characters in the scene, I can tell by the language which character is the viewpoint.
@@godminnette2 precisely! My PROBLEM with Sanderson is his emotional heavy moments don't always carry as much weight as they Should or as much as the story wants them to. The dialogue and character work POP off the page, but the drama of certain events in the story don't hit in the same masterfully crafted way
You have no idea how much I needed this video. I have been very into my writings recently but my dialogue formatting for my novel (not the words themselves) have been really bothering me.
I took a playwriting course awhile back. The two crucial things my teacher told me about dialogue were to make each character have a goal for the scene (ie. convince, comfort, etc) and to remember that characters have the agency to leave at any given moment so there needs to be some force or reason for them to continue the conversation. Your advice was spot on. I just wanted to add to it, as it might help others.
To be fair, the point of Warrior Cats is rather how much violence you can fit in a book series about cats which is allegedly for children :D For real tho, these books are a mess. But I really like them :D
7:00 Use the weird and fancy dialogue tags when you're doing the "write a short story" question on an English exam, since teachers so often encourage students to go out of their way *not* to use the word said. The problem is I'm pretty sure the takeaway for a lot of students, myself included, wasn't "for exams, it's a good idea to use fancier words to demonstrate your vocabulary" but "this is how you should always write, using the word said is bad".
I really appreciated your tips on creating distinct character voices. This is something I've often struggled with. It's easy when characters have different levels of education, or wildly different backgrounds, but when you have two people from the same school, in the same town... I always struggled with that. I appreciate the tips! You'll also be happy to hear that none of my characters have never ejaculated while speaking.
First of all, thank you for the great content! Could you do a video specifically on battle scenes? The fight scenes videos have been super helpful, but they focus more on one-on-one fights
Tim, that passage you wrote was beautiful. I had little to no context for the story, but I felt all the emotional undercurrents just the same. The reason your writing videos are my favorite as far as youtube goes is because you know what it is like to be a struggling writer, and you put so much thought into it. Thanks so much! As a teenager who is trying to write an epic fantasy series, your input has been a godsend.
The way you accidentally flipped us off, like three times, while saying “all brand new stuff” and then switched to your ring finger, was absolutely hilarious!
'Naturalistic Storytelling' was covered extremly-well by Hbomberguy in his Video 'RWBY is Dissapointing' starting at Minute 35, proving that Krimson Rogue Fans, Hello Future Me-Fans and Telltale Foundry-Fans should not just obviously check-out each-other (cause the named channel are very similar and all 'smart Fun') but should check out Hbomberguys channel. And heres the craziest thing: i will comment this often under each of these Channels in a vague Hope to spread Fun and share Knowledge, OBVIOUSLY risking to be mistaken for a B0T. Thats how much i love the IDEA that maybe someone gets in love to Literature thx to Me.
I want to add something to "set the scene", you also have to "RE-set the scene". I'm a forgetful person and also hate rereading just to remember. Don't like going back several paragraphs or even chapters just because I forgot a tidbit. I'm not saying to copy paste descriptions, but little reminders to help ground the scenes, IE "...the group briskly walked through the hall, passing the metal laced marble statues and scenic paintings." Don't expect readers to memorize expo dumps as if they have idetic memory or will keep referencing it to keep up. An ultra important point is to add flavor text referring to character appearances, IE "... She said, whilst flamboyantly flicking her golden hair." I am forgetful, I don't remember the title half the time and you expect me to memorize character descriptions you made only in the first chapter they were introduced?! This is like the floating heads problem but instead of no scene, you have mannequin stand-ins acting out the dialogue. An addendum to characters is to remind the reader who they are and what they've done so far, IE "...the young boy sang as he swung a pencil reenacting the Y shaped slice that won the tournament."
No one will ever see this but I think that the fact that Gatsby’s overuse of “old sport” is perfect. It is gimmicky because it is a gimmick, just not one employed by the author but the character himself. Love it!
I've come to a conclusion similar to what your explaining here based on a conversation my wife and I were having. Essentially we were discussing why books were always better than movies and our conclusion was that books leave so much more to the imagination. I believe this is why "said" or singular words portray so much more than vivid descriptions can. We as readers have a general idea of what's going on and we only need the words on the page to help guide us through them, not hold our hands and tell our minds where to go.
I've always enjoyed writing casually. Making stories based on prompts or writing your own version of a story. The low level fanficcy stuff basically. While I'll never reach novel level writing skills (nor do I mind), your videos help me reflect on how to improve my skills to make the stories as good as I can. Thanks, this is all very interesting and helpful
The part about summarizing parts of conversations to prevent it from getting boring reminded me of a thing that Ramez Naam does in his book Nexus where he will write out a rough summery of a conversation, while almost going through the conversation anyway. It does a great job of changing the pace while keeping short conversations from being too boring.
Hey, Tim. I honestly hope that you see this. This is the second time that I see something you wrote and think that is fucking beautiful before the reveal. I'm sure that many people feel like I do. Don't keep this from us, dude! Let us experience this, as long as is not damaging for you. Love from Brazil!
You should try out the monogatari novels/anime it has literally the best dialogs in anything I've ever seen. It has better dialog than tarantino movies in my opinion at least. Also it is a show that breaks every single writing rule ever and still is my favorite show ever.
Please be careful with what you read. Depression is a difficult thing to handle, and suicide is not an actual solution. Covering such a novel so deeply can really have serious ramifications. I am devoted to you. I cried when Mishka passed. I have rewatched most of the videos that complimented or critiqued The Last Airbender. I have your first book on my nightstand still, eventhough I bought it as soon as I could have a physical copy. You are epic. Just... don't go dark on me. You make me want to write, but better still you make me want to write well. I don't give a shit what negative comments appear, you have been an amazing inspiration for me. I adore you. Please read more inspirational and uplifting things. There are too many books in creation for you to read in one lifetime. Choose those that suit you, but aren't focused on the dark depressed or deposed. You don't have to bright and sunshine all the time, Avitar was a good mix, just don't get stuck on a dark lonely road. I still crave your advice, and want to watch future videos. I love this channel.
That passage of yours that you read from your book was compelling. I literally said, “Damn,” out loud when you revealed that you were the one that wrote it.
I LOVE the biologist's voice in Annihilation. One of the reasons she was picked for the mission is that she's not great with people but she has a strong intuition when it comes to ecology, and approaches the Lovecraftian stuff going on with interest more than fear. You can get a hint of that just in the short dialogue section shown here.
i have a character whose catchphrase is repeating every second key word, each and every second pivot he can say, while adding more fluff, fluff that is unnecessary to the dialogue, and it's definitely not gimmicky, not gimmicky enough to notice. i find it inconceivable, inconceivable to the point of insanity, insanity of grand gesture, that catchphrases can be gimmicky
One thing about realistic dialogue that popped up in my head: The train of thought changing track. It happens all the time in real life, even in internal monologue, like if you remenber that the stove is still on, or you need to feed the flowers and water the cat (okay, this is an extremely scatterbrained example). Remembering your tree of conversation (had to think of the blender add-on sapling, just another example) one would very much use it not so much as salt but more like chayenne. Even more careful. But I think it can be so effective (I don't remember an example, though). Esp. a Freudian slip can show so much about a character. Just end the sentence on another thought then it began, something that even keeps the reader a bit more in, attentionwise, because they have to figure out more. Of even change a word midsentence. We do all do it. But I guess it is very easy to overuse in fiction. And I think there is a subtle difference in languages, as well (English is not my first language, but I read a lot in it. Some expressions are unique and in another language your thinking really becomes different).
I went back to read my dialogues, and realized I only used two saids in 30 some pages, cause it’s all action tags. A couple saids later and a bunch of action tags removed, and it’s much better. Thank you!
I actually really struggle with following long sections of pure dialogue with no tags, I have to keep going back to remember which person is talking so I tend to appreciate when authors use more tags
Personal pet peeve: when characters relay events for pages and it's all supposed to be dialogue, even though it's basically just the author speaking. The only time I've not hated this is in Wutherin Heights.
I'm not a writer, but I enjoy your videos so much. This one reminded my of the fantastic dialogue in Vile Bodies, especially the phone conversations. That's a beautiful cover on your new book!
Thank you so much for covering this topic, Tim! I always write dialogue first when I write a scene and I HATE filling in the description. I've always been conflicted whether I should add a dialogue/action tag to every line of dialogue, or I could leave some parts to the readers' imagination. Turns out my story would be one of those that would probably frustrate you to death. My gawd, my dialogue tags are so atrociously LONG. I think I prolly could dock a good 50K words off my word count just by thinning the dialogue tags and setting the scene well, instead of launching straight into the action/talking and squeezing in description between dialogues. I should let them characters talk, dang it! Anyways, thanks again and congrats on your books > < I've bought the first volume on Kindle but never got round to reading it (the kindle layout was somewhat messy), so I've just bought both books in paperback. Sorry, trees, I'm an old school reader XD.
Dialogue is the single major roadblock I run into while trying to write anything. You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to get a character to express themselves without making them break character, being cheesy, or sounding dumb This helped a lot
I remember the first thing I noticed while reading your book was that I could tell it was written by you because of the word choice. It felt like you were speaking to me the whole time I read
I had being sitting on my desk all day trying to find ways to improve my writing. Just when I was about to turn off the computer and give up on my search, I found a video by Hello Future Me. I clicked on it, not expecting it would give me the answer I was looking for. Just when the video was about to end, a miracle happened -GET THE BOOK!!- Timothy abruptly ejaculated. And in just a moment, i found the answer to my problems in front of me.
Can't help but comment on the name Vandermeer... I was almost mad that it was written as "Vandermeer" instead of "van der Meer" (the Dutch way). But I found out he's born in the USA, there's no such thing as words in between first and last name in English, so it's ok... *Wait, why is name written as "VanderMeer" elsewhere???*
This is the best, the most interesting, video on how to write dialogue I have ever seen. It's a lot of stuff, but I can't wait to try and apply some of them
i like the point about ''said''. It`s like painting, really. People often diss the greys, but if you harmonize your colors in low saturation and have one or 2 pop out, that's a heck of a lot more impactful than having 13 full powered neon lights assaulting your eyes in the canvas. If every dialogue is wildly different, they'll just feel unfocused. We have to pick our time for ejaculating
You've helped me a lot with part 3 of how to make the characters sound distinct. My bet is that combining that with 'letting the characters do the talking' that came before is gold to avoid head hopping.
I am perhaps far too cynical and didn't expect to enjoy your content, assuming it would be shallow, because so many educational content seems to be (or as someone else commented, very vague). I've been thoroughly humbled by how much thought and work you've put into these videos, so thank you very much, these have been both entertaining and helpful! So many specific and well defined points.
I'm am much a fan of Torchwood as of Avatar. In both series the dialogs are great, because the writers made good work in how to include the life-experince of the participants. The blooper at the end lightend my day xD
That thumbnail is top tier meme fodder. Now, memes aside and being legitimately serious, the problem with "ejaculated" as a dialogue tag is a combination of normalizing action verbs as metaphors for the act of speaking (i.e. "said-bookism"), and the peculiar context in which _this_ verb is almost exclusively used, creating an ambiguity of whether it is being used as a dialogue tag or an action tag.
So, I just got into writing a few weeks back, because I read a novel and liked the ideas it presented, just not everything else the novel was doing or how it was doing it. I was thinking I could do that better. OSP were a great starter, since I already liked their content and then I found you via their podcast. And boy howdy, thank you for introducing me how to do it better. I thought writing was hard beforehand and man I had no idea how deep this rabbit hole is. No idea whether it will actually be any good, but you will have been very helpful either way :D
Just like becoming a good artist includes a lot of practice akin to exercise, I am of the opinion that one of the best ways to learn to write distinctive character voices is writing fanfic. You know the character voice from the movie/show/whatever, and so do your readers: "you got their voice down so well!" is a common yet treasured compliment. Once you've learned the knack of distinguishing character voice through text and dialog you can then apply those skills to your original characters and their voices. :)
Hey man, I just want to say that what you are doing is meaningful and is making a wonderful difference in my life and you should be proud of yourself. I hope you feel fulfilled by the effort you put into every one of your videos. Keep going.
One tip I remember hearing somewhere was have you ever had a conversation and then an hour later when you're taking a shower you suddenly think of the best thing to say? In dialogue have your characters say those things
All brand-new stuff?! In all seriousness, though, this video is so insanely helpful! It talks about the details, but also the overall approach to writing dialogue that I feel other videos about the topic were really missing. You know a video is truly great when you get out of it already knowing what changes you have to make to your manuscript! Also, that call excerpt from your book was pretty wonderful!
11:38 The advice that starts here was the callout of my life. My first draft thanks you, i am just happy i got it now so i can try incorporate it now and pay attention to it much later when revising.
Torchwood is a great show? I strongly disagree. Torchwood had some good characters and ideas, but the show overall is a mess. And Ianto's arc through series 1 made ZERO sense.
@@HelloFutureMe Series 3 was great. I'll grant you that. Probably will watch Miracle Day some day. But it's hard for me overlook stuff like (SPOILERS) going from 'I hate you for killing my girlfriend I've been secretly taking care of for a year' to 'Let's bang' in a single series.
![On Writing: Killing Characters! [ Harry Potter | Stephen King | Terabithia ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/treB4kuyMHk/mqdefault.jpg)
![On Writing: Killing Characters! [ Harry Potter | Stephen King | Terabithia ]](/img/tr.png)
![On Writing: Great Character Descriptions! [ Rowling | Dragon Tattoo | Gatsby | Pratchett ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/vL0q15Kkews/mqdefault.jpg)
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AHHHH WRITING AND WORLDBUILDING VOL II IS OUT I linktr.ee/timhickson thank you
32:23
The outtakes at the end are realy funny and remind of old comedy movies. Pls keep this for future videos
Just saying, that little excerpt that you showed was phenomenal! It really conveyed a strong emotion (I felt one of deep love and loss, but I don't know the real feelings without context) without getting too wordy.
Great video. I think I'll refer to this quite a bit as I write.
I actually got your first book as a Christmas present last year, so yes, I might actually get the second one this year, joke's on you!
your writing was garbage, first person? Ewww
For me, dialogue is done the easiest if you have a solid foundation for your character
So it's not mostly a question of "Does this sound realistic?", But a question of "Does this dialogue make sense for This specific character?"
Also for a specific situation.
"Does this sound realistic?" could very well imply that, as well
Does it sound realistic that this particular character would say this particular line at this particular moment
@@hayatobun I don't want to answer for Boid, but I'll make a distinction. I agree with your thought process, but not your (or Tim's) word choice. "Realistic" can mean "believable" which is how I read your comment. But "realistic" has the root "real" right there in it. And we're writing fiction here. Some of my characters aren't going to be "realistic" by any definition of the word. I have immortal gargoyles who are currently thousands of years old and turn to stone during the day to draw their magical powers from the sun. There is no human experience that can relate to that. All of this is to say I like how @Boid said it.
@@PhoenixCrown this is basically how I defined word "realistic" personally
@@leonardoeneria3100 well, sometimes the character having a reaction inapropriate for the situation is what makes the character, i think character must be more consistent with themselves than with the real world, if they act realistic it must be because the character is grounded, not because that is what people do in real life
I'm still waiting for On Writing: Love Triangles feat. Terrible Writing Advice
Oh my God, yes! We need that to happen!
@@pavlelazarevic5042 Yes, when I think about my characters' love triangles are pretty much too one sided... Or two sided?
@@carlosroo5460 Here is a couple of things to think about. Why does the third point of your love triangle(the one getting excluded) like the main point? What do they in common with them, and what are things that would pull them apart? What's their relationship with their rival, did they know them before or is the love triangle their only view of them?
Just because the two rivals in the love triangle are competing, doesn't mean they can't have their own relationship out side of it. Maybe developing that more could open up more branches with the main point?
PS, I've never written a love triangle before, sorry if these don't work out.
@@helloill672 thay doesn't work becuase then the two rivals end up being shipped with eachother just as much or sometimes more than with the person they are fighting over🤣
Team Amore Triangulo assemble!!
15:50. Yes. I’m a biologist. That is exactly how a biologist would talk about fungi spelling out words with the fruiting body.
I will second that! I fell in love with this book because it is basically a Lovecraft story through the eyes of a character whose response to creepy writing made out of fungi or some weird thing with a human face moaning in the marshes is: "Huh. Interesting! I mean...yeah, creepy and possibly dangerous. But SUPER interesting."
When I was little, I was reading "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm" as my mom drove me home from school. I stopped reading to ask "mom what does ejaculated mean?" The look of horror on her face was something I'll never forget. She flustered a bit before asking me to give more context for my question, and after I read the passage out loud to her, she practically melted with relief before answering the question.
I wouldn't be surprised if the author used that word to create that exact situation 😂
Thank you for addressing "said" like this. I remember in school teachers always wanted us to use other words, and some even had a poster with a bunch of alternatives to "said". Then, the moment I tried actual writing for myself, I immediately went back and just used said for most of my dialogue tags, because it just sounds weird to use words like *_ejaculated_* and I didn't want to sound weird.
I'm happy to read the word 'ejaculated'
The only way to write "wrong" is if it looks and sounds wrong.
Edit: he mentions this in the video, I hadn't started watching it yet...
I've always used actions to fill the space of "said." It usually isn't that noticeable depending on how it's used. Always in moderation, of course.
Small little actions like the character moving their head or arm, maybe continuing the movement that is going on while the dialogue is occurring to make the scene less static. It allows me to clarify which character said what without using "said" or other synonyms too frequently.
That being said, sometimes a character does just SAY something, and it makes no sense to use something else. I get tired of seeing constant synonyms, it's annoying. Although if used too much, "said" can be annoying too.
In actual writing, it’s true that « said » and basic, simple words are often more useful and clear, less clunky. But your teachers asking to diversify your vocabulary served more purposes than teaching you how to write good prose. Its meant to teach students think about, use and expand their vocabulary. The more you think about your words, the more easily you’re able to access them, remember you know them. It also forces you to think about your intention with your text. What do your characters think and feel, and make sure you express it in your prose.
It’s like learning any physical activity. To master technique, you start with slow, exaggerated and actually useless movements to get you body used to whatever you’re doing, and the better you get at it, the more focused and concise you become, while still getting the intended result.
A high school teacher can’t teach to write well before teaching how to write at all, and it being a universal and generalist setting, the focus is getting , ideally, everybody up to speed on writing and language and vocabulary so those interested can make use of things like this video, and those not can at least function efficiently.
yeah I remember being in school and about 10 or 11 and asked my teacher if I had to use dialogue tags, I thought they sounded bad lmao, i was told you need them for clarity.
I have learned you need them when you don't know who is speaking or if it adds to the scene and as you say said can be fine.
The less I know about Snape's private life, the better, I think.
Yeah, that Thumbnail... some nightmare fuel 😅
@@thalmoragent9344 I know, right? Also,
H A I L T A L O S !!!
@@Thomas.Wright
*"No, damn Talos for his unprovoked attack upon the Summerset Isles with the Numidium, he doesn't deserve to be venerated as one of the Aedra"*
By 2067, Jowling Kowling's 15-part Snape VR spinoff will be mandatory viewing in Meta.
@@thalmoragent9344 Reminds me of the time I accidentally stumbled upon a rather detailed, literal fanart depiction of the line with Slughorn as a child.
I had a Latin professor in collage who was adamant that we should translate passages in a natural, contemporary style rather than literally. Once he commented after I'd translated an exchange between characters and ended it with "Farewell." "Really, would you say 'farewell' to someone in real life." ...yes actually. I use "farewell" quite often and completely unironically, especially with friends and family. I guess it's a personal character dialogue quirk.
Yeah see there you got a bit of a lesson in using dialogue for characterization. If you were a character in a book, the audience would probably pick up the use of “farewell” as a character quirk, specially if most other people dont use it.
Dialogue gets a lot easier when you spend as much time thinking about how someone would try to tell you about the worst behavior they've ever engaged in as you might on world-building. You start seeing a lot of flaws, mannerisms, and thought process they'd work by and you can apply that to interactions with other characters. Of course, it would not be nearly to as extreme of a degree as facing the worst thing they've ever done, but you know the foundational work so the next part is easier.
I really want to try this now
That sounds extremely useful.
I'm doing my bachelor right now (writing and illustrating a comic) and your books are a god sent. Seriously they're helping me so much with the worldbuilding of my story. Not to mention having some good reference material for my thesis :D
Good luck on your Bachelor's! Lord knows vol.2 is on my buying list.
Must be fun to Actually be in college
@@boid9761 ups and downs
Straight facts
I know this reply is late, but I was hoping for some advice from someone in college. I want to create a manga/comic and I worry that simply watching UA-cam videos won’t teach me enough. Do you recommend going to college?
(Also if you know any other helpful UA-cam channels, please let me know!)
Full circle: It was watching your videos back in 2019 that got me interested in Avatar the Last Airbender. I had never heard of it before since I was in my 20’s when it first aired and I was working full time. Now I use your writing videos to write better ATLA fanfiction. Thank you.
HAHAHAHA
Best of luck in your endeavors with it, and enjoy exploring the characters.
Thanks. I’m taking the advice in this video to work with a really tricky conversation I’m trying to plot my way through.
Could you tell me where is your fan fiction, please?
@@thomasmackliley6117 I'm on AO3, my writing name is Periphyton. I've got Avatar the Last Airbender, Good Omens, and a little Doctor Who.
I remember in V for Vendetta (graphic novel), one of the rules for V's dialogue (when he's not quoting someone) is that his dialogue is in iambic pentameter, which further adds to his V/5 theme.
That's actually pretty cool, I hadn't considered that as a speech quirk of sorts
Plot twist: Graham the Wizard Who Likes Cats is the protagonist in Tim's upcoming novel
Duhduhduuuuh
9:51 - Try reading Pride & Prejudice. Jane Austen is a wonderful writer, but she'll have a page full of dialogue between 4 or 5 characters without a single tag to tell you who's speaking. Was that Mrs. Hurst or was that Elizabeth or was that Mr. Darcy?
Not tagging your dialogue is a good way to get your readers lost and have them stop reading to go back and re-read and mark up your book to figure out what just happened. Let your characters talk, by all means, but if there's more than two in a conversation make sure to tag them. (At least tag whenever one of the primary two participants changes.)
Fun fact, your characters can use each other's names diegetically to show who's speaking as well.
One thing I'll point out about the untagged dialogue: that's best used for snappy quick dialogue or situations where it's incredibly obvious who's speaking. Examples
--Quick witty repartee between two characters - if it's something that reads quickly, the odds are much lower that someone will get distracted partway through an untagged block and need to backtrack to the last dialogue tag to figure out who's speaking. Bonus points if you nail distinctive character voices, because then you can figure it out within the dialogue.
--Someone knowledgeable talking about what they know never needs a tag to identify them, as long as their expertise is unique within the group and known to the reader. A professor teaching a lesson, Kelsier explaining the uses of the Allomantic metals to Vin, a doctor giving a medical diagnosis. This is because the sheer depth of knowledge being shown makes it obvious. Sure there's 50 students in that classroom, but none of them are going to be giving the lecture.
If its ordinary conversation, please throw a simple said tag in every once in a while. Sure your most diehard fans and the hardcore readers are going to be 100% focused - that's why you use said: it's a short tag that is effectively invisible to most long term readers. But a lot of folks are going to face occasional distractions that pull them out of that zone. And if you've been distracted, skimming for a said tag is easy, and if it's within 5 lines or so of any given point, it's easy to find. Character voice can be trickier to pick up while skimming, since you're actually having to analyze the words said rather than just looking for the verb "said"
"Said" tags also have an implied sense of normality. They imply nothing particularly important or unusual is happening when they're used instead of an action tag, and their extended absence implies a sense of tension or urgency. The longer you go without a said tag, the more momentum builds, and while that's good in some circumstances, it's bad in others. Dialogue written about a date might start with lots of tags and end with few (indicating the date is going well, the participants are very engaged in the conversation), or start with few and add in more (indicating a growing disconnect). A conversation between criminals that gets interrupted by a police raid might start with more said tags then usual, then drop them entirely when the police show up and start barking orders. (Indeed, in that circumstance, it's alright if who's speaking gets a little confused - those situations tend to be rather fraught, so the dialogue should reflect that somewhat.
Yes!! I'm in this part of the video. Tags are a blessing when we are not intimate to the characters yet or they talk very similarly (not that they don't have their own voices necessarily, but things like internal jokes anyone in the group could make). Feel things take me away more than trying to decipher what's going and who said what.
This was super interesting. I'm a playwright so I write dialogue all the time but never think about dialogue tags (since it's just not a part of the medium) so I found that discussion really interesting. I do think about contrast and word choice and stuff like that all the time though. One thing this video didn't address (and that may again be because of medium differences between plays and books) is dialogue rhythm or pauses. I think about pauses and silence a lot because conversation flow (which in play script format is indicated with the word 'beat' for long pauses, through elipsis for trailing off, and through m dashes when a character either cuts themself off or is cut off by another character/interrupted) is really important in getting across how people are feeling. Example: "Yeah, but I just... yeah. Okay. (beat) Thanks." With different rhythm indicated, you can imagine this coming across different, like "Yeah but- I just- Yeah. Okay, thanks." To me, the first reading of this line indicates a person who's processing the information they've been told. They wanna defend themself but then decide instead to actually take in what someone has said instead of defend themself. In the second, it's a person who's not interested in hearing this information and is instead deciding to agree with who they're talking to to end the conversation faster and then maybe go complain to someone else about the annoying info they received without really taking it in. Some of this in theater is done by actors, but as a playwright, adding indications of how my dialogue should read in terms of rhythm can help an actor understand a character's emotional response without adding clunky stage directions like (sarcastically) or (teasing) or (annoyed), which I can tell you actors tend not to like because it's too micromanaging and honestly the tone should come through without having to explicitly tell the actor that the character is angry or sad. I kinda feel like this translates into books to some extent, at least to me it seems like stage directions are more like dialogue tags and using them excessively in both mediums is annoying to readers/actors trying to understand the characters. Anyway, loved the video just thought my two cents on the importance of rhythm/pauses might be useful to someone else.
Oh, yeah. This was definitively wrote by a full-time writer.
I had missed the detail about how Tyrion focuses on human cruelty in his examples because people were often mean to him since he was a dwarf. Thats a great catch.
That "How am I spending half an hour doing this?" in the bloopers is incredibly relatable. Sometimes the most simplest of lines/scenes is impossible to film for some reason
The thumbnail is just perfection
I don't write or worldbuild but I love what you do. I hope all the writers/worldbuilders are stoked about your book
In terms of "realistic dialogue", something I noticed just today in a conversation with my yoga students is that people have a tendency to talk about themselves or twist the information shared in a way that's relevant for them. I assume because people want to speak from their own experiences and opinions. Example:
Person A: "It's so hard to just sit still in a pose!"
Person B: "Yeah! I just kept thinking about what I'll cook for dinner tonight."
Person C: "I had that in the beginning, but I do notice that taking more classes helped me focus longer."
That observation brought me back to a memorable lesson I learned in a communication class. My professor asked, "What is communication?" My classmates gave all sorts of answers, except the right one. "Communication means you 'want' something from another." In short, people are selfish. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it does help to inform a more realistic approach to writing dialogue. I figured I'd share it. :)
“A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus: 1. What am I trying to say? 2. What words will express it? 3. What image or idiom will make it clearer? 4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?"
-- George Orwell
This quote has been my silent editor and muse for ages.
Well that's a thumbnail I could have gone without seeing in my life.
i know this doesn't mean much coming from someone you don't know, but your writing is really comforting to read. i hope you go far.
that is... definitely a thumbnail, there's no denying lmao
It got you here didn't it *finger guns*
@@HelloFutureMe you have a point lol
The focus of the characters is easily one of those important things that tend to get lost in translation when writers give advice about dialogue.
It's one of those things that have made me go 'this is great dialogue' in my own writing without being able to put my finger on why it sounds so much better than the 39 other attempts at the same scene.
Really appreciate all your writing advice videos. They're clear, succinct and to the point with great examples.
Edit: Needed to add that that passage of yours was absolutely beautiful and really touching.
You really nailed it on the zooming out on the "unimportant, yet important" stuff, and pulling us in for the emotional kill.
Beautiful.
Hey!
Your videos are not only super helpful but also so entertaining and fun to watch! I really like your editing and cutting! You make this so fun, I feel like I learned a lot with you! Thank you for your hard work and all your amazing videos! :D
This video is genius, Tim. You have a way of making me see and consider things in ways I hadn’t before and shake up the way I think about stories and writing them. Thank you from the bottom of a confused, ocasional writer's heart. And I love that so many of what you talk about is related to fantasy and sci-if haha
Holy cow. Every time he shares his writing I am blown away by how much I love it. I can’t wait to be able to actually read it
I love the character voices in His Dark Marterials, because they all have their accents. The gyptians have a really strong accent (that I even struggled to understand at first when I read it in English for the first time as a non-native speaker). People from higher classes or higher education mostly speak very clearly and with "big" words
I love these videos. You talk in a round about, forgiving way so that it's easy to understand from many different angels; However, you never linger on a subject too long making the viewer feel competent. Then you'll make references to earlier topics when explaining another helping things click.
The Wandering Inn by pirateaba never uses plain dialogue tags. Ever. Action tags and character speech patterns only. It usually works, and it creates some really engrossing scenes.
Sometimes it doesn't work quite as well, and its hard to follow precisely. But usually, its a feat of incredible writing.
Charlie Huston does that in a lot of his books too
Stormlight Archives has the best "character voice" in my personal reading experience. Every character stepped into the stage and within 3-4 lines of dialogue their voice look and personality practically formed themselves in my mind
I agree, and it goes beyond dialogue. Sanderson has drawn criticism for his simplistic prose, and while I understand where it is coming from, I have read no other works where I can easily identify the viewpoint character simply by the way the voice of the prose changes when it shifts to their viewpoint. I see passages go around from time to time, and even ones where there is no direct indication by name whose viewpoint it is and there are several main characters in the scene, I can tell by the language which character is the viewpoint.
@@godminnette2 precisely! My PROBLEM with Sanderson is his emotional heavy moments don't always carry as much weight as they Should or as much as the story wants them to. The dialogue and character work POP off the page, but the drama of certain events in the story don't hit in the same masterfully crafted way
You have no idea how much I needed this video. I have been very into my writings recently but my dialogue formatting for my novel (not the words themselves) have been really bothering me.
I took a playwriting course awhile back. The two crucial things my teacher told me about dialogue were to make each character have a goal for the scene (ie. convince, comfort, etc) and to remember that characters have the agency to leave at any given moment so there needs to be some force or reason for them to continue the conversation. Your advice was spot on. I just wanted to add to it, as it might help others.
“Use said”
Warrior cats: *chuckles* I’m in danger
To be fair, the point of Warrior Cats is rather how much violence you can fit in a book series about cats which is allegedly for children :D
For real tho, these books are a mess. But I really like them :D
7:00 Use the weird and fancy dialogue tags when you're doing the "write a short story" question on an English exam, since teachers so often encourage students to go out of their way *not* to use the word said.
The problem is I'm pretty sure the takeaway for a lot of students, myself included, wasn't "for exams, it's a good idea to use fancier words to demonstrate your vocabulary" but "this is how you should always write, using the word said is bad".
Finally, some real, substantial advice on writing dialogue! I've looked everywhere for a video like this! Thank you, Tim. Stay nerdy.
Bahahaha! Sorry, that thumbnail killed me 😅 Stoked for this video!
I really appreciated your tips on creating distinct character voices. This is something I've often struggled with. It's easy when characters have different levels of education, or wildly different backgrounds, but when you have two people from the same school, in the same town... I always struggled with that. I appreciate the tips!
You'll also be happy to hear that none of my characters have never ejaculated while speaking.
First of all, thank you for the great content! Could you do a video specifically on battle scenes? The fight scenes videos have been super helpful, but they focus more on one-on-one fights
Tim, that passage you wrote was beautiful. I had little to no context for the story, but I felt all the emotional undercurrents just the same. The reason your writing videos are my favorite as far as youtube goes is because you know what it is like to be a struggling writer, and you put so much thought into it. Thanks so much! As a teenager who is trying to write an epic fantasy series, your input has been a godsend.
The way you accidentally flipped us off, like three times, while saying “all brand new stuff” and then switched to your ring finger, was absolutely hilarious!
Every time you sneak attack us with your writing I'm so delighted!
'Naturalistic Storytelling' was covered extremly-well by Hbomberguy in his Video 'RWBY is Dissapointing' starting at Minute 35, proving that Krimson Rogue Fans, Hello Future Me-Fans and Telltale Foundry-Fans should not just obviously check-out each-other (cause the named channel are very similar and all 'smart Fun') but should check out Hbomberguys channel.
And heres the craziest thing: i will comment this often under each of these Channels in a vague Hope to spread Fun and share Knowledge, OBVIOUSLY risking to be mistaken for a B0T.
Thats how much i love the IDEA that maybe someone gets in love to Literature thx to Me.
27:33 I have to say, personally, I enjoyed the writing you did here over any of the other examples you made during this video. It's very good.
Tim, you're a phenomenally relatable and skilled teacher.
I want to add something to "set the scene", you also have to "RE-set the scene". I'm a forgetful person and also hate rereading just to remember. Don't like going back several paragraphs or even chapters just because I forgot a tidbit. I'm not saying to copy paste descriptions, but little reminders to help ground the scenes, IE "...the group briskly walked through the hall, passing the metal laced marble statues and scenic paintings." Don't expect readers to memorize expo dumps as if they have idetic memory or will keep referencing it to keep up.
An ultra important point is to add flavor text referring to character appearances, IE "... She said, whilst flamboyantly flicking her golden hair." I am forgetful, I don't remember the title half the time and you expect me to memorize character descriptions you made only in the first chapter they were introduced?! This is like the floating heads problem but instead of no scene, you have mannequin stand-ins acting out the dialogue. An addendum to characters is to remind the reader who they are and what they've done so far, IE "...the young boy sang as he swung a pencil reenacting the Y shaped slice that won the tournament."
Silence is the sound of something said far to rarely, or however it was phrased, is a really powerful line, especially when used like that
The timing of this was perfect! And the extract from your book was absolutely amazing!❤
No one will ever see this but I think that the fact that Gatsby’s overuse of “old sport” is perfect. It is gimmicky because it is a gimmick, just not one employed by the author but the character himself. Love it!
Dialogue requires people skills and experience, which is often difficult if you're a shut-in introvert.
Nope.then you read stories of real people.
I've come to a conclusion similar to what your explaining here based on a conversation my wife and I were having. Essentially we were discussing why books were always better than movies and our conclusion was that books leave so much more to the imagination. I believe this is why "said" or singular words portray so much more than vivid descriptions can. We as readers have a general idea of what's going on and we only need the words on the page to help guide us through them, not hold our hands and tell our minds where to go.
I've always enjoyed writing casually. Making stories based on prompts or writing your own version of a story. The low level fanficcy stuff basically. While I'll never reach novel level writing skills (nor do I mind), your videos help me reflect on how to improve my skills to make the stories as good as I can. Thanks, this is all very interesting and helpful
The part about summarizing parts of conversations to prevent it from getting boring reminded me of a thing that Ramez Naam does in his book Nexus where he will write out a rough summery of a conversation, while almost going through the conversation anyway. It does a great job of changing the pace while keeping short conversations from being too boring.
Hey, Tim. I honestly hope that you see this. This is the second time that I see something you wrote and think that is fucking beautiful before the reveal. I'm sure that many people feel like I do. Don't keep this from us, dude! Let us experience this, as long as is not damaging for you. Love from Brazil!
My holiday miracle is being able to watch Hello Future Me, OSP, Shadiversity, etc etc
I knew my dialogue was clunky, but couldn't figure out how to make it better. This is super helpful! Thank you :)
You should try out the monogatari novels/anime it has literally the best dialogs in anything I've ever seen. It has better dialog than tarantino movies in my opinion at least. Also it is a show that breaks every single writing rule ever and still is my favorite show ever.
Yeah but its really fucking weird thoh
@@anishsawan6496 Makes it better :)
Isn't that the pedo one?
@@alphasword5541 u can say that about a lot of anime 😂😅
last time I check that series has incest gags
That piece of your own writing blew me away! Beautiful Tim!
Please be careful with what you read. Depression is a difficult thing to handle, and suicide is not an actual solution. Covering such a novel so deeply can really have serious ramifications.
I am devoted to you. I cried when Mishka passed. I have rewatched most of the videos that complimented or critiqued The Last Airbender. I have your first book on my nightstand still, eventhough I bought it as soon as I could have a physical copy.
You are epic.
Just... don't go dark on me. You make me want to write, but better still you make me want to write well. I don't give a shit what negative comments appear, you have been an amazing inspiration for me. I adore you.
Please read more inspirational and uplifting things. There are too many books in creation for you to read in one lifetime. Choose those that suit you, but aren't focused on the dark depressed or deposed. You don't have to bright and sunshine all the time, Avitar was a good mix, just don't get stuck on a dark lonely road. I still crave your advice, and want to watch future videos.
I love this channel.
That passage of yours that you read from your book was compelling. I literally said, “Damn,” out loud when you revealed that you were the one that wrote it.
I LOVE the biologist's voice in Annihilation. One of the reasons she was picked for the mission is that she's not great with people but she has a strong intuition when it comes to ecology, and approaches the Lovecraftian stuff going on with interest more than fear. You can get a hint of that just in the short dialogue section shown here.
I find it INCONCEIVABLE that using the same catch phrase too much can become gimmicky.
i have a character whose catchphrase is repeating every second key word, each and every second pivot he can say, while adding more fluff, fluff that is unnecessary to the dialogue, and it's definitely not gimmicky, not gimmicky enough to notice. i find it inconceivable, inconceivable to the point of insanity, insanity of grand gesture, that catchphrases can be gimmicky
@@KettuKakku I'm going insane
@@m_e_nere what troubles you so, troubles you to the brink of insanity, a brink too precarious to teeter over?
One thing about realistic dialogue that popped up in my head: The train of thought changing track. It happens all the time in real life, even in internal monologue, like if you remenber that the stove is still on, or you need to feed the flowers and water the cat (okay, this is an extremely scatterbrained example). Remembering your tree of conversation (had to think of the blender add-on sapling, just another example) one would very much use it not so much as salt but more like chayenne. Even more careful. But I think it can be so effective (I don't remember an example, though). Esp. a Freudian slip can show so much about a character. Just end the sentence on another thought then it began, something that even keeps the reader a bit more in, attentionwise, because they have to figure out more. Of even change a word midsentence. We do all do it. But I guess it is very easy to overuse in fiction. And I think there is a subtle difference in languages, as well (English is not my first language, but I read a lot in it. Some expressions are unique and in another language your thinking really becomes different).
Tim’s on a roll
I went back to read my dialogues, and realized I only used two saids in 30 some pages, cause it’s all action tags. A couple saids later and a bunch of action tags removed, and it’s much better. Thank you!
I actually really struggle with following long sections of pure dialogue with no tags, I have to keep going back to remember which person is talking so I tend to appreciate when authors use more tags
Personal pet peeve: when characters relay events for pages and it's all supposed to be dialogue, even though it's basically just the author speaking. The only time I've not hated this is in Wutherin Heights.
It works in Wutherin Heights because the entire book is Narrator-ception.
Always to see you sharing your writing in videos, Tim!
I'm not a writer, but I enjoy your videos so much. This one reminded my of the fantastic dialogue in Vile Bodies, especially the phone conversations.
That's a beautiful cover on your new book!
Thank you so much for covering this topic, Tim! I always write dialogue first when I write a scene and I HATE filling in the description. I've always been conflicted whether I should add a dialogue/action tag to every line of dialogue, or I could leave some parts to the readers' imagination. Turns out my story would be one of those that would probably frustrate you to death. My gawd, my dialogue tags are so atrociously LONG.
I think I prolly could dock a good 50K words off my word count just by thinning the dialogue tags and setting the scene well, instead of launching straight into the action/talking and squeezing in description between dialogues. I should let them characters talk, dang it!
Anyways, thanks again and congrats on your books > < I've bought the first volume on Kindle but never got round to reading it (the kindle layout was somewhat messy), so I've just bought both books in paperback. Sorry, trees, I'm an old school reader XD.
Dialogue is the single major roadblock I run into while trying to write anything.
You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to get a character to express themselves without making them break character, being cheesy, or sounding dumb
This helped a lot
Dude is on a demonetization speedrun with that thumbnail!
Okay why is no one talking about that summarising dialogue from your book that was just TOP CLASS WRITING???!!!!! Like ahshshs!!!
I remember the first thing I noticed while reading your book was that I could tell it was written by you because of the word choice. It felt like you were speaking to me the whole time I read
I swear every time you pull one of your own passages I say out loud "Thats so sweet/well written, I love it" 3 seconds before you say "I wrote that"
' "SNAPE!" ejaculated Slughorn" ' is one of the most nightmarish sentences in all of literature. Fact.
I startes watching dragons and elemental wizards, and now i’m Learning to be an author. i can’t understate how much i love your content
These videos are so entertaining and well written! I'm not even an author I just really like watching you explain things!
I had being sitting on my desk all day trying to find ways to improve my writing. Just when I was about to turn off the computer and give up on my search, I found a video by Hello Future Me. I clicked on it, not expecting it would give me the answer I was looking for. Just when the video was about to end, a miracle happened -GET THE BOOK!!- Timothy abruptly ejaculated. And in just a moment, i found the answer to my problems in front of me.
Can't help but comment on the name Vandermeer... I was almost mad that it was written as "Vandermeer" instead of "van der Meer" (the Dutch way). But I found out he's born in the USA, there's no such thing as words in between first and last name in English, so it's ok... *Wait, why is name written as "VanderMeer" elsewhere???*
This is the best, the most interesting, video on how to write dialogue I have ever seen. It's a lot of stuff, but I can't wait to try and apply some of them
Words are hard, yes.
What ,when and why🤣🤣
I just woke up and I hate you for putting that image of Snape in my head first thing in the morning
i like the point about ''said''. It`s like painting, really. People often diss the greys, but if you harmonize your colors in low saturation and have one or 2 pop out, that's a heck of a lot more impactful than having 13 full powered neon lights assaulting your eyes in the canvas. If every dialogue is wildly different, they'll just feel unfocused.
We have to pick our time for ejaculating
You've helped me a lot with part 3 of how to make the characters sound distinct. My bet is that combining that with 'letting the characters do the talking' that came before is gold to avoid head hopping.
What a thumbnail...
I am perhaps far too cynical and didn't expect to enjoy your content, assuming it would be shallow, because so many educational content seems to be (or as someone else commented, very vague). I've been thoroughly humbled by how much thought and work you've put into these videos, so thank you very much, these have been both entertaining and helpful! So many specific and well defined points.
It makes sense that Tim would share a summary. It’s sorta what he does for a living
I'm am much a fan of Torchwood as of Avatar. In both series the dialogs are great, because the writers made good work in how to include the life-experince of the participants. The blooper at the end lightend my day xD
That thumbnail is top tier meme fodder.
Now, memes aside and being legitimately serious, the problem with "ejaculated" as a dialogue tag is a combination of normalizing action verbs as metaphors for the act of speaking (i.e. "said-bookism"), and the peculiar context in which _this_ verb is almost exclusively used, creating an ambiguity of whether it is being used as a dialogue tag or an action tag.
So, I just got into writing a few weeks back, because I read a novel and liked the ideas it presented, just not everything else the novel was doing or how it was doing it. I was thinking I could do that better. OSP were a great starter, since I already liked their content and then I found you via their podcast.
And boy howdy, thank you for introducing me how to do it better. I thought writing was hard beforehand and man I had no idea how deep this rabbit hole is. No idea whether it will actually be any good, but you will have been very helpful either way :D
Just like becoming a good artist includes a lot of practice akin to exercise, I am of the opinion that one of the best ways to learn to write distinctive character voices is writing fanfic. You know the character voice from the movie/show/whatever, and so do your readers: "you got their voice down so well!" is a common yet treasured compliment. Once you've learned the knack of distinguishing character voice through text and dialog you can then apply those skills to your original characters and their voices. :)
Congratulations on starting your querying journey!!
Hey man, I just want to say that what you are doing is meaningful and is making a wonderful difference in my life and you should be proud of yourself.
I hope you feel fulfilled by the effort you put into every one of your videos.
Keep going.
One tip I remember hearing somewhere was have you ever had a conversation and then an hour later when you're taking a shower you suddenly think of the best thing to say? In dialogue have your characters say those things
All brand-new stuff?! In all seriousness, though, this video is so insanely helpful! It talks about the details, but also the overall approach to writing dialogue that I feel other videos about the topic were really missing. You know a video is truly great when you get out of it already knowing what changes you have to make to your manuscript! Also, that call excerpt from your book was pretty wonderful!
11:38
The advice that starts here was the callout of my life.
My first draft thanks you, i am just happy i got it now so i can try incorporate it now and pay attention to it much later when revising.
Torchwood is a great show? I strongly disagree. Torchwood had some good characters and ideas, but the show overall is a mess. And Ianto's arc through series 1 made ZERO sense.
Well, I loved it.
~ Tim
@@HelloFutureMe Series 3 was great. I'll grant you that. Probably will watch Miracle Day some day. But it's hard for me overlook stuff like (SPOILERS) going from 'I hate you for killing my girlfriend I've been secretly taking care of for a year' to 'Let's bang' in a single series.
Not me looking at Tim's shelves behind him and grinning because I can see Heroes of Olympus on there (Can't wait to see this featured in a vid!)