Great video. My biggest issue is both a strength and a weakness. I can see 20 possible courses of action where many other people only see one or two. The problem then becomes prioritizing which task to pursue, and in what order. This dynamic impacts everything I do, but is most obviously illustrated with simple housework. My brain: "Wash that dish in the sink!" As I obediently head toward the sink, I notice the kitchen trash can is nearly full. "Yikes, change that trash first!" So I switch my direction of travel and head toward the trash can. Before I reach it, I pass my antique clock. "Hey, that clock needs winding! If you do not wind it right now you will forget!" I turn again, and open the kitchen drawer, where the clock key is hiding...somewhere. "Damn! This drawer needs to be organized. If you don't do it right now you will never get around to it!" I spend more time switching my attention between urgent tasks than I do actually accomplishing any of them. : (
@legiontheatregroup i do the same thing. And then get overwhelmed and frustrated (that I can't find the key, etc) and then go into freeze mode. Deep breathing helps me. And writing down all of the things that you just said. I know that it takes more time, but so does switching tasks bc you might forget something and then not doing anything. And when you are doing something else, you might find the key. The thought of that motivates me to do something else. Yes, we have to use tools, and it may take us longer. It helps me to also be humble and grateful. Count my blessings and acknowledge that everyone has struggles in their life. This is just ours.
I'm definitely, "all of the above," thought not all of them manifest in "typical" ways. (For instance, I don't have emotional outbursts because I was taught to keep my behavior appropriate from a young age, but that doesn't mean I don't have "emotional inbursts" - internally, I feel things VERY strongly, and I'm often frustrated by the fact that there ISN'T an appropriate outlet for many of our negative emotions. But that's another topic entirely...) However, I'd never really realized before this video that processing impairments were associated with ADHD. I definitely have trouble with that. There are times when someone will be talking to me, I will hear what they're saying, and know on some level that it means something, but still not be able to comprehend it. Usually, once I ask them to repeat it, I get it, but it's frustrating. I can be genuinely TRYING to listen - and even interested in what they're saying - but sometimes it just plain doesn't compute. I would say this is the part of ADHD that probably is the most impairing. Just about everything else can be "muscled through" (albeit, with difficulty) by utilizing things like reminders, CBT, an accountability partner, etc. But there is literally nothing I can do about misfiring neurons. That is something I wish neurotypicals could truly grasp: some of our challenges are just plain beyond our control. We can manage and mitigate some things, but other things are just brain and biology, not choice. Just like you can't ask a paraplegic to get up and walk ("You have legs, don't you? Just make them work! Everybody else does it. It's not that hard. What's wrong with you? You're just lazy!"), you can't ask an ADHD-er to be neurotypical. We don't have the brain capacity. We can learn to work around our challenges, but that doesn't eliminate them. They are real, they are limiting, and anyone who's genuinely trying to be a functional human despite them deserves praise and encouragement, not to be belittled or made to feel "less than."
I’m in my fifties and like yourself I’ve been diagnosed late in life. Menopause is making it so much worse. 😢 My youngest is almost 16 and I truly believe she is struggling with it also. Coupled with teenage low dopamine and brain changes this is so hard to navigate ~ for both of us.
I was diagnosed at age 51. Looking back I was lucky enough to build habits to work around my ADHD in my 20’s. This served me well until I battled stage 3c cancer at 44. Chemo and the aftermath of chemo brain sent me into a spiral. After 6 years of battling with my brain I finally looked for help. This is when we found my ADHD and my past made sense. My 2 biggest hurdles are task initiation and procrasta-learning. This part of my journey has led me to ask researchers at the Knight Cancer Institute about the link of chemo brain, ADHD diagnosis, and can the pharmaceuticals that help depression/ADHD help chemo brain. The last few months has been an awesome ride. Thanks for all that you do! Nothing but positive thoughts!!
Thank you so, so much for this video. I was diagnosed less than a week ago after going from doctor to doctor, (multiple GPs, psychologists, psychiatrists, neurologists) for the last 7 years. I was on antidepressants for 3 years after being diagnosed with depression but was not responsive to treatment. My psychiatrist suspects in hindsight that my depression was caused in part by constant burnout due to the ADHD. It's been debilitating, caused me to have to drop out of highschool due to my depression, quit my job a few years later because I couldn't concentrate and kept forgetting things despite all of my efforts, and has ruined almost all of my friendships because I don't have enough energy left to sustain them. When I got my diagnosis and started researching (especially how it surfaces in women), I had almost every symptom listed. All of which I had gone to the above doctors with. I just started my treatment for adhd and am praying it works, it's been living hell not being able to sustain a normal life and all of my doctors saying there was nothing they could do. 💔
I struggle the most with Activation - starting tasks especially is hard for me. I've told people before that "I'm the best procrastinator you've ever met." Doesn't matter whether I want to do the task or not - it's almost always hard unless I'm 'high functioning' that day.
I dont know if I have Adhd but i am definitely high sensitive. I feel like I can read people via empathy. But my biggest problem is doing stuff i am not passionate about. I am driven by passion,interest, creativity. I can work tirelessly if i like something and produce incredible results. But now i looking for work. But i keep postponing it because job hunting blows and the jobs i see out there are so non-motivating i end up postponing or simply not applying to anything. It feels very strong from my core how i feel nothing for 95% of the jobs. I cant tell anyone about this as i feel like a freak. Ashamed. And then its stressful because i need an income of course.
Does this sound like Adhd? When it comes to the executive functions i feel ok on most of them, apart from regulating emotions when injustice happens or bullies show their faces, I can really angry. But that can have to do with high sensitivity and stuff from childhood that makes me revisit memories perhaps. I also get this kind of singular focus when i like something or a task i like. The complete opposite of when i dont like something. I also like to connect and talk to people a lot. Oversharing (impulsive). I am ok with time and time perception.
Same! You are not a freak! There is a LARGE group of us😄 I think that there needs to be more flexible, part-time jobs with benefits. For whatever reason, there are so many people with these same issues. The workforce/companies need to adjust. And coworkers need to be more understanding. Bosses, too, but I honestly have had way more problems with coworkers than bosses. Thinking that I'm getting "special treatment", even when my work doesn't even affect them at all. And they have gotten or even are currently getting the very same "special treatment".
Getting rid of sugar, cutting down on carbohydrates, increasing saturated animal fat and meat is helping me a lot. The latest thing I am going to do is to increase my vitamin D intake see Dr. Chappel videos regarding this. I am feeling fine and getting stuff done.
@@Lisa19000 sugar is poison, be fully conscious of every bit of sugar you consume. Thinking this way and using an 8 hour eating window each day have helped me to reduce my sugar intake by two thirds. I eat two small squares of dark chocolate every day.
I've discovered your channel as a result of researching and sourcing supports. Recently diagnosed and on meds for adhd. Age 51, its had a catastrophic impact throughout my life, nevertheless I am a successful coach. Which is my major dysfunction. Building what would be an amazing service, helping more, adding more value, and supporting my 5 teen kids. I'm an independent Dad, with a lousy money mindset, and manifested a successful wealthy female partner a couple of years ago which is inspiring and often overwhelming! So grateful to find your channel 🙏🏻 ❤
I don't have a diagnosis, but I'm starting to think that some of the persistent problems in my life stem from ADHD. My struggle is procrastination, and then when I do start tasks, I have a terrible habit of getting distracted when I'm almost finished. It is really affecting my life and negative ways.
Interception. As I child I went two days without fluids. Never occurred to me to drink, rarely know when I’m thirsty even now in my mid 50’s. I overeat to get dopamine and have no clue what my body might want or need (I mean I know, but I don’t feel it in my body). Also, I want to do everything and I want to do it to perfection without realizing that much of what I’d like to do takes time and energy. i used to have loads of energy but menopause has stripped me of it. I so identified with your 48 hour drive followed by a day moving things back into your house. I bet you did a third things too but forgot you did. 😂 great video as pet usual.
Thank you for this video. You are my adhd coach. I go to work and by the time I get home I’m done for the day. My house needs attention, but there is no energy or motivation.
I was also diagnosed late at 40. My biggest "pain points" are: RSD, completing tasks, and holding decisions in my head so that I can act on them later(remembering why I was going to do something or not do something). I also have issues with focus when people are talking or when I am reading and I often have to get people to repeat what they said (sometimes several times) or I have to re-read/re-watch something a few times in order to take it in. Making decisions on what task to start can also be a problem but I must say that since I found your channel and used some of your tips here, that has become a bit easier. Burnout patterns have been a constant in my life as I also struggle with some Autistic traits so mitigating that has been my focus the last few months.
Interoception for sure is a big one for me. I always seem to be tired or burned out and disorganisation of my time, my space I seem to live in constant disorder. And it really bothers me.
Thank you I love these - you have helped me quite a bit. How can you help persons with ADHD and ASD - we are a special - especially those who were diagnosed late in life, adult male
Thanks Caren. I got my formal diagnosis just this morning & I’m looking forward to being able to move forward with my life. I’ve mostly functioned quite well for a lot of my life, with breakdowns/burnouts punctuating it. The last being 20months ago & the executive function thing is driving me batty. It’s bad enough at the best of times, but I have really been struggling to get some semblance of my brain power back. Was a very informative video. Thanks again.
Thanks! Looking forward to practical tips. I have not been diagnosed, but your videos have been very helpful. My most debilitating trait is task paralysis. 🤯
Love the video UA-cam has become my go to for insight on the struggles ive been facing in life most of which im now learning stim from my ADHD. Im 43 years old I was initially diagnosed with ADHD when i was 10 years old and put on the only medication there was at the time which I know now wasn't helping me seeing that its the first thing they tried when i started treatment again about a year ago. I personally cant single out one thing that i struggle with more than the rest because for some reason my ADHD seems to be Hulk raging uncontrollably. When i was about 18 i stopped taking my medication back then this condition wasn't accepted like it is today and i was really ashamed that i had ADHD I felt like i was broken and I didn't want people to know I was. I learned to mask very well which looking back wasn't a smart move but the past is the past. I thought i had done really well till I started researching i found that doctor's back then really had no clue the extent this condition affects people. I did mask well enough that most people had no clue i had ADHD but i did come across as a real screw up. About a year and a half ago though all of that changed and it hit me like a trane on steroids I dont know why but ive never dealt with anything like it every aspect of the condition is hitting me all at once with its intensity turned all the way to 10. I went back to the doctor they put me back on meds Im taking the maximum dosage she can give me but it does nothing to help so im lost and I don't know how to manage this the best i can tell i have what they call Ring of fire ADHD and honestly i allso think i have a touch of autism but i could be wrong. Ive been told that part of the reason i was able to mask for so long is due to having an IQ of 131 but again thats going off what others have told me. I really just want to get this back under control before it dismantles the life I have spent 20 years fighting to build for my family I can't loose that.
Time blindness which has resulted in losing friends over the years who give three strokes and you’re out type strategies. Rejection sensitive dysphoria which has resulted in my cutting my exposure to people and spending loads of time alone, and emotional dysregulation which lead to my blowing up when people hurt me and taking up yoga and meditation as a career.
I struggle the most with task initiation. I have a list of projects that need to be done but have trouble making myself do them. I'm also fairly perfectionistic and I'll look at the task and think, "I don't feel like I can do that correctly today" so I wait until a day I do feel like I can do it. Those days are few and far between so stuff piles up. I'd love for you to do more on menopause making ADHD symptoms worse!
Definitely struggled with all of them over the past twenty five years. Some times were worse than others. I am Currently peri-menopausal and emotional (dys)regulation is probably my biggest boat-rocker at the moment. I Often feel like an infant having a temper tantrum 🫨 😂 - it is so frustrating not being able to move past being so easily irritated. That said, they all lurk and pounce on a pretty regular basis. Unlearning my previous pace of living, learning to Slow down (live in the present, live more consciously) has definitely helped, and being more patient with myself is also proving to be a brilliant solution to functioning better day to day. Great video, thanks Caren! I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed and ashamed when I saw this list of the (executive function) things I don’t function well in on a consistent basis. I am conscious / aware of the list, but I think compartmentalising them sometimes helps me cope as well. Love Add Magazine. 🙏👍
This video was really helpful! I struggle with focus and attention, with initiating and mantaining activities and rutines, impulsiveness, emotions. All of them, actually 🤣
I'd been noticing that I seem to do a lot of my more successful thinking in my throat chakra - by saying it out loud or by writing in my diary. Now I know why. Thanks!
All of them. As if menopause wasn’t enough. Fatigue and outburst. then having regret. I used to remember everything. Now I struggle with carrying on a conversation., Trying to remember names events dates is almost impossible.
Diagnosed at 59. I was told years ago by a therapist 8 should be evaluated but I thought he was off base. I fit the signs and symptoms so well but I struggle to believe it's really true.
All of them to various degrees. But especially 2,3,4, 6. Not following what’s going below the neck is so true. Also that different stages of life can exacerbate the symptoms..
Ask yourself to do the least thing like read one sentence of an assignment or answer one tiny part ofva question. Job done sudden dopamine release. Give me some more and soon your into hyperfocus. Personally I find learning languages very (dopamine) rewarding. Learn how to ask for a coffee. Get the coffee yippee a result repeat.
NEED HELP. Hi, I'm a 53 year old woman from Ireland. I was diagnosed with ADHD about 3 weeks ago. I'm definately feeling a bit overwhelemed and lost with trying to learn as much as I can about ADHD in adults. Trying to figure out all of the ways it can effect people and figure out how it effects me. And I want to find/learn new practical ways, skills and strategies to help make life a bit easier, less stressful, more fun and I want to feel peace. I found this video very interesting and I'm looking forward to your future videos, thank you. P.s if anyone has any information, websites, links, hints and tips etc that may help please feel free to reply to this message. Thank you Edit: I would also be interested in learning more about menopause and ADHD. Plus can greif effect ADHD???
@rachelh6330 When overwhelmed, deep breathing helps me. Plus writing down things. I've just moved into an old house. There is lots of cleaning that I want to do. So I've starting putting a post it pad and pen in my pocket, so that I can stay on task and feel calm/peace that I won't forget the next thing that I want to do. And every night be proud and grateful of the things that you did get accomplished. Even if it is just eating something healthy, walking the dog or washing your face. Don't focus on the little things that you didn't get accomplished. It helps to remind myself that everyone has struggles in their life, and this is just mine. And i try to be grateful for blessings in my life. Even if it is just the fact that you woke up today and were able to see the sun or flower or tree...☺️
I was diagnosed later in life and there is a book that really helped me. It's titled "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid?" The authors both have ADHD and have written it in a ADHD friendly format that is easy to digest. Hang in there, things will get easier. ❤
How do you start a routine when you aren't in motion for it? Like an example is let's say I wanted to wash my hair every two days. How would you do that? Because at day two it's not actually dirty yet so there's no motivation yet but by day 3 it's not a good look. How would you implement a routine when you have no motivation and you aren't in motion?
Do people with ADHD get sometimes into a zone of clarity and efficiency? I had those couple of times in my life. I always cherish these memories. 😆 But I'm not diagnosed, that's why I'm asking.
As stated, hyperfocus is when neurodivergent people are extremely zoned-in. But people regardless of brain can go into what's called "flow state" when they feel extra interested & motivated to complete something.
Yes, yes and yes😅 Hey fyi, not trying to be rude, but you forgot a word, "no"... When there is no deadline or consequences. That's an ADHD thing too isn’t it? I do that a lot! Leave out words, shorten words when speaking. Love to shorten words when texting. I just moved, getting divorced, from a covert narcissist after 26 years of marriage, and my daughter blames me and estrangement 😓 I'm having a huge problem starting things, and when I do start them, also problems finishing them😬 Because I live by myself now so there is definitely no urgency or necessity. My starting problem probably has more to do with my depression. And showing up for myself, low self-worth. I have no problems going out of my way to help others with the same exact tasks. And being co-dependant, people pleaser and unhealthy attachment style. Generational dysfunction. Yes, I'm and my life is a mess right now and I have a lot of work to do😮💨. I just learned most of those things about myself and family this year. Oh, also CPTSD. I had no idea that you could get that from anything other than war or sexually or other physical abuse or radical, obvious psychological abuse. It's been a rough year. I'm a late ADHD diagnose, in my 40s. I'm 53 now. I'd love to hear info on menopause and the ADHD added struggles. I've never heard that before. I assumed that my added difficulties were due to my added stressors this year.
Complex trauma shares many symptoms with ADHD, so you'll have to unpack which habits are trauma-based & which are neurodivergence to them be able to appropriately handle them.
Technically you're right either way because any sort of physical stress is added stress too! Whether someone's sick, going through menopause, or healing from an injury, that's something that take away physical energy as our bodies heal or otherwise adjust to the changes, Menopause is exhausting to say the least, right? That's how I think about this stuff. I find it helps me keep things in perspective a bit better (and I'm grasping for any bits better these days!) (Sidenote, and more personally, I had to cut off my mother because of her narcissistic abuse. I'm sorry you're going through that kind of hell too, especially as someone who was often blamed myself. Wishing you the best in your healing 💕 You are not alone.)
@@sourgreendolly7685sorry that you had to go through that as well. It took me over 52 years to figure it out. How long did it take you? My Ex can't even admit that he is/was codependant and has attachment issues, let alone own up to the lies, gaslighting and belittlement. Doubles down on his lies, with proof of the contrary in front of his face. He is more than happy to let me take the fall with my daughter. She is 25, in denial and refuses to see a family therapist with me. Ik that we both have done some damage to her. But i am determined to grow and have healthy relationships. I'm hoping that she is doing some self work, but just not telling me.
@sourgreendolly7685 the sad thing is, not only are we not alone, it seems like an epidemic. I think that we need p.e., health AND emotional and relationship classes k-12. Kids/people don't have the tools or cope and deal and have healthy relationships. Someone explained it to me that we haven't evolved because we haven't needed it to to survive. And the awakening and movement towards healthy, rewarding relationships is partly due to the increase in mass murders and suicides... ie evolving bc it is becoming apparent that we need it survive now. I just hope more people decide that's the kind of life that they want. And do the work to strive for it.
Would you recommend a therapist before coaching? 3,4,5,6 are my areas of opportunity. I’m actually interested in coaching but I think I need to trauma dump elsewhere 😂 in order to begin navigate my life and potential properly
Echoing therapy first/alongside coaching, both as someone that was very interested in being a life coach and has had years of therapy. In my experience, therapy made it possible to be coached so I definitely needed it first. Depending on where you're at, therapy can be like building a foundation for a house and coaching can be like building the frame of the house.
Task initiation. If I am not interested...you should get someone else to do the task. Period. That is not being irresponsible or lazy. It's a fact. Hyper focus or no focus. Especially for work...focusing on the wrong tasks or not now tasks. Email, learning, light thought/easy tasks versus big payoff projects and tasks. I was always fighting the timeline. There is now and not now. Motivation. I teach at a Technical College. We have summer camps to plan and lead. I DESPISE those camps. My LEAST favorite task of the entire year. And my colleagues abdicated. One is on vacation before the camps and the other said she only wanted to help on the camp days because she is feeling overloaded this summer. Ugh. What about being a team? Overwhelm. Ebbs and flows but God help me when it flows. Schnissel...does...not...get...done... (Like...right now!). I have always had trouble with work and relationships. It is a love/hate thing consistently. Nothing ever works out the way I want OR need it to. It always "goes off a cliff". I almost never get the support I need from others, EVEN when I ask for it!! And I can't get my wife to acknowledge and help me with the ADHD. She says we all struggle that way.... I need a coach but...trying to find an insurance covered counselor who does that work with ADHD brains is overwhelming. I tried two different counselors late last year and both were a "no go". What to do? I'm just stuck on this. I'll stop complaining now.... I suppose I should try to get something of value done today! 💔
Great video. My biggest issue is both a strength and a weakness. I can see 20 possible courses of action where many other people only see one or two. The problem then becomes prioritizing which task to pursue, and in what order. This dynamic impacts everything I do, but is most obviously illustrated with simple housework. My brain: "Wash that dish in the sink!" As I obediently head toward the sink, I notice the kitchen trash can is nearly full. "Yikes, change that trash first!" So I switch my direction of travel and head toward the trash can. Before I reach it, I pass my antique clock. "Hey, that clock needs winding! If you do not wind it right now you will forget!" I turn again, and open the kitchen drawer, where the clock key is hiding...somewhere. "Damn! This drawer needs to be organized. If you don't do it right now you will never get around to it!" I spend more time switching my attention between urgent tasks than I do actually accomplishing any of them. : (
😂 That's me making breakfast, prepping for the day, _right there!_ 👌🏻
@legiontheatregroup i do the same thing. And then get overwhelmed and frustrated (that I can't find the key, etc) and then go into freeze mode. Deep breathing helps me. And writing down all of the things that you just said. I know that it takes more time, but so does switching tasks bc you might forget something and then not doing anything. And when you are doing something else, you might find the key. The thought of that motivates me to do something else. Yes, we have to use tools, and it may take us longer. It helps me to also be humble and grateful. Count my blessings and acknowledge that everyone has struggles in their life. This is just ours.
Hey! Get out of my head! 😂 You completely explained my brain.
Hey! Get out of my head! 😂 You completely explained my brain.
I'm definitely, "all of the above," thought not all of them manifest in "typical" ways. (For instance, I don't have emotional outbursts because I was taught to keep my behavior appropriate from a young age, but that doesn't mean I don't have "emotional inbursts" - internally, I feel things VERY strongly, and I'm often frustrated by the fact that there ISN'T an appropriate outlet for many of our negative emotions. But that's another topic entirely...)
However, I'd never really realized before this video that processing impairments were associated with ADHD. I definitely have trouble with that. There are times when someone will be talking to me, I will hear what they're saying, and know on some level that it means something, but still not be able to comprehend it. Usually, once I ask them to repeat it, I get it, but it's frustrating. I can be genuinely TRYING to listen - and even interested in what they're saying - but sometimes it just plain doesn't compute. I would say this is the part of ADHD that probably is the most impairing. Just about everything else can be "muscled through" (albeit, with difficulty) by utilizing things like reminders, CBT, an accountability partner, etc. But there is literally nothing I can do about misfiring neurons.
That is something I wish neurotypicals could truly grasp: some of our challenges are just plain beyond our control. We can manage and mitigate some things, but other things are just brain and biology, not choice. Just like you can't ask a paraplegic to get up and walk ("You have legs, don't you? Just make them work! Everybody else does it. It's not that hard. What's wrong with you? You're just lazy!"), you can't ask an ADHD-er to be neurotypical. We don't have the brain capacity. We can learn to work around our challenges, but that doesn't eliminate them. They are real, they are limiting, and anyone who's genuinely trying to be a functional human despite them deserves praise and encouragement, not to be belittled or made to feel "less than."
I’m in my fifties and like yourself I’ve been diagnosed late in life. Menopause is making it so much worse. 😢 My youngest is almost 16 and I truly believe she is struggling with it also. Coupled with teenage low dopamine and brain changes this is so hard to navigate ~ for both of us.
Please get your daughter diagnosed so she knows it is not her fault!!!
@@tknows470 Thank you ~ I will
I was diagnosed at age 51. Looking back I was lucky enough to build habits to work around my ADHD in my 20’s. This served me well until I battled stage 3c cancer at 44. Chemo and the aftermath of chemo brain sent me into a spiral. After 6 years of battling with my brain I finally looked for help. This is when we found my ADHD and my past made sense. My 2 biggest hurdles are task initiation and procrasta-learning. This part of my journey has led me to ask researchers at the Knight Cancer Institute about the link of chemo brain, ADHD diagnosis, and can the pharmaceuticals that help depression/ADHD help chemo brain. The last few months has been an awesome ride. Thanks for all that you do!
Nothing but positive thoughts!!
I would love to hear more about a d h d and menopause
Wow yes me too pls
Me, too! I have not been diagnosed ADHD, but have had ADHD-type issues since menopause.
Yes, I've got to do this, but I want to find a medical expert who can speak to both issues. I will work on it.
@@CarenMagill love your channel & information!
Task initiation (hello chores that need to get done that take me forever) and working memory for sure.
GETTING STARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11, Especially with the inception of menopause.
Thank you so, so much for this video. I was diagnosed less than a week ago after going from doctor to doctor, (multiple GPs, psychologists, psychiatrists, neurologists) for the last 7 years. I was on antidepressants for 3 years after being diagnosed with depression but was not responsive to treatment. My psychiatrist suspects in hindsight that my depression was caused in part by constant burnout due to the ADHD. It's been debilitating, caused me to have to drop out of highschool due to my depression, quit my job a few years later because I couldn't concentrate and kept forgetting things despite all of my efforts, and has ruined almost all of my friendships because I don't have enough energy left to sustain them.
When I got my diagnosis and started researching (especially how it surfaces in women), I had almost every symptom listed. All of which I had gone to the above doctors with.
I just started my treatment for adhd and am praying it works, it's been living hell not being able to sustain a normal life and all of my doctors saying there was nothing they could do. 💔
I struggle the most with Activation - starting tasks especially is hard for me. I've told people before that "I'm the best procrastinator you've ever met." Doesn't matter whether I want to do the task or not - it's almost always hard unless I'm 'high functioning' that day.
I dont know if I have Adhd but i am definitely high sensitive. I feel like I can read people via empathy. But my biggest problem is doing stuff i am not passionate about. I am driven by passion,interest, creativity. I can work tirelessly if i like something and produce incredible results. But now i looking for work. But i keep postponing it because job hunting blows and the jobs i see out there are so non-motivating i end up postponing or simply not applying to anything. It feels very strong from my core how i feel nothing for 95% of the jobs. I cant tell anyone about this as i feel like a freak. Ashamed. And then its stressful because i need an income of course.
Does this sound like Adhd? When it comes to the executive functions i feel ok on most of them, apart from regulating emotions when injustice happens or bullies show their faces, I can really angry. But that can have to do with high sensitivity and stuff from childhood that makes me revisit memories perhaps. I also get this kind of singular focus when i like something or a task i like. The complete opposite of when i dont like something. I also like to connect and talk to people a lot. Oversharing (impulsive). I am ok with time and time perception.
Same! You are not a freak! There is a LARGE group of us😄 I think that there needs to be more flexible, part-time jobs with benefits. For whatever reason, there are so many people with these same issues. The workforce/companies need to adjust. And coworkers need to be more understanding. Bosses, too, but I honestly have had way more problems with coworkers than bosses. Thinking that I'm getting "special treatment", even when my work doesn't even affect them at all. And they have gotten or even are currently getting the very same "special treatment".
Getting rid of sugar, cutting down on carbohydrates, increasing saturated animal fat and meat is helping me a lot. The latest thing I am going to do is to increase my vitamin D intake see Dr. Chappel videos regarding this. I am feeling fine and getting stuff done.
I wish that I could cut down on sugar. I love chocolate and dessert way too much😕
@@Lisa19000 sugar is poison, be fully conscious of every bit of sugar you consume. Thinking this way and using an 8 hour eating window each day have helped me to reduce my sugar intake by two thirds. I eat two small squares of dark chocolate every day.
I've discovered your channel as a result of researching and sourcing supports. Recently diagnosed and on meds for adhd. Age 51, its had a catastrophic impact throughout my life, nevertheless I am a successful coach. Which is my major dysfunction. Building what would be an amazing service, helping more, adding more value, and supporting my 5 teen kids. I'm an independent Dad, with a lousy money mindset, and manifested a successful wealthy female partner a couple of years ago which is inspiring and often overwhelming! So grateful to find your channel 🙏🏻 ❤
Throwing stuff away, like books, gifts that were given, or collectibles. Or better said, how to organize it that it doesn't look cluttered.
Task initiation is the one that probably affects me the most, with time blindness and interoception coming in closely tied for second place.
I don't have a diagnosis, but I'm starting to think that some of the persistent problems in my life stem from ADHD. My struggle is procrastination, and then when I do start tasks, I have a terrible habit of getting distracted when I'm almost finished. It is really affecting my life and negative ways.
Interception. As I child I went two days without fluids. Never occurred to me to drink, rarely know when I’m thirsty even now in my mid 50’s. I overeat to get dopamine and have no clue what my body might want or need (I mean I know, but I don’t feel it in my body). Also, I want to do everything and I want to do it to perfection without realizing that much of what I’d like to do takes time and energy. i used to have loads of energy but menopause has stripped me of it. I so identified with your 48 hour drive followed by a day moving things back into your house. I bet you did a third things too but forgot you did. 😂 great video as pet usual.
Thank you for this video. You are my adhd coach. I go to work and by the time I get home I’m done for the day. My house needs attention, but there is no energy or motivation.
I was also diagnosed late at 40. My biggest "pain points" are: RSD, completing tasks, and holding decisions in my head so that I can act on them later(remembering why I was going to do something or not do something). I also have issues with focus when people are talking or when I am reading and I often have to get people to repeat what they said (sometimes several times) or I have to re-read/re-watch something a few times in order to take it in. Making decisions on what task to start can also be a problem but I must say that since I found your channel and used some of your tips here, that has become a bit easier. Burnout patterns have been a constant in my life as I also struggle with some Autistic traits so mitigating that has been my focus the last few months.
Interoception for sure is a big one for me. I always seem to be tired or burned out and disorganisation of my time, my space I seem to live in constant disorder. And it really bothers me.
Thank you I love these - you have helped me quite a bit. How can you help persons with ADHD and ASD - we are a special - especially those who were diagnosed late in life, adult male
Thanks Caren. I got my formal diagnosis just this morning & I’m looking forward to being able to move forward with my life. I’ve mostly functioned quite well for a lot of my life, with breakdowns/burnouts punctuating it. The last being 20months ago & the executive function thing is driving me batty. It’s bad enough at the best of times, but I have really been struggling to get some semblance of my brain power back. Was a very informative video. Thanks again.
Thanks! Looking forward to practical tips. I have not been diagnosed, but your videos have been very helpful. My most debilitating trait is task paralysis. 🤯
I am the exception to the rule of not knowing myself ENFP over here. I am hyper aware.
Diagnosed at the tender age of 53 (I'm 55 now). Processing speed and memory are my two worst traits.
Love the video UA-cam has become my go to for insight on the struggles ive been facing in life most of which im now learning stim from my ADHD. Im 43 years old I was initially diagnosed with ADHD when i was 10 years old and put on the only medication there was at the time which I know now wasn't helping me seeing that its the first thing they tried when i started treatment again about a year ago. I personally cant single out one thing that i struggle with more than the rest because for some reason my ADHD seems to be Hulk raging uncontrollably. When i was about 18 i stopped taking my medication back then this condition wasn't accepted like it is today and i was really ashamed that i had ADHD I felt like i was broken and I didn't want people to know I was. I learned to mask very well which looking back wasn't a smart move but the past is the past. I thought i had done really well till I started researching i found that doctor's back then really had no clue the extent this condition affects people. I did mask well enough that most people had no clue i had ADHD but i did come across as a real screw up. About a year and a half ago though all of that changed and it hit me like a trane on steroids I dont know why but ive never dealt with anything like it every aspect of the condition is hitting me all at once with its intensity turned all the way to 10. I went back to the doctor they put me back on meds Im taking the maximum dosage she can give me but it does nothing to help so im lost and I don't know how to manage this the best i can tell i have what they call Ring of fire ADHD and honestly i allso think i have a touch of autism but i could be wrong. Ive been told that part of the reason i was able to mask for so long is due to having an IQ of 131 but again thats going off what others have told me. I really just want to get this back under control before it dismantles the life I have spent 20 years fighting to build for my family I can't loose that.
Time blindness which has resulted in losing friends over the years who give three strokes and you’re out type strategies. Rejection sensitive dysphoria which has resulted in my cutting my exposure to people and spending loads of time alone, and emotional dysregulation which lead to my blowing up when people hurt me and taking up yoga and meditation as a career.
OMG.. The emotions part. I have to use a feelings wheel 😳 to help me verbalize what I'm feeling.
I struggle the most with task initiation. I have a list of projects that need to be done but have trouble making myself do them. I'm also fairly perfectionistic and I'll look at the task and think, "I don't feel like I can do that correctly today" so I wait until a day I do feel like I can do it. Those days are few and far between so stuff piles up.
I'd love for you to do more on menopause making ADHD symptoms worse!
Definitely struggled with all of them over the past twenty five years. Some times were worse than others. I am Currently peri-menopausal and emotional (dys)regulation is probably my biggest boat-rocker at the moment. I Often feel like an infant having a temper tantrum 🫨 😂 - it is so frustrating not being able to move past being so easily irritated. That said, they all lurk and pounce on a pretty regular basis. Unlearning my previous pace of living, learning to Slow down (live in the present, live more consciously) has definitely helped, and being more patient with myself is also proving to be a brilliant solution to functioning better day to day. Great video, thanks Caren! I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed and ashamed when I saw this list of the (executive function) things I don’t function well in on a consistent basis. I am conscious / aware of the list, but I think compartmentalising them sometimes helps me cope as well. Love Add Magazine. 🙏👍
This video was really helpful! I struggle with focus and attention, with initiating and mantaining activities and rutines, impulsiveness, emotions. All of them, actually 🤣
One thing I don't have is time blinding. I'm well aware of my schedule. But also me don't schedule with me weeks in advance 😅
I'd been noticing that I seem to do a lot of my more successful thinking in my throat chakra - by saying it out loud or by writing in my diary. Now I know why. Thanks!
Interesting reflection!! I love that.
Thank you. This was very helpfull🤗
All of them. As if menopause wasn’t enough. Fatigue and outburst. then having regret. I used to remember everything. Now I struggle with carrying on a conversation., Trying to remember names events dates is almost impossible.
Diagnosed at 59. I was told years ago by a therapist 8 should be evaluated but I thought he was off base. I fit the signs and symptoms so well but I struggle to believe it's really true.
All of them to various degrees. But especially 2,3,4, 6. Not following what’s going below the neck is so true. Also that different stages of life can exacerbate the symptoms..
Ask yourself to do the least thing like read one sentence of an assignment or answer one tiny part ofva question. Job done sudden dopamine release. Give me some more and soon your into hyperfocus. Personally I find learning languages very (dopamine) rewarding. Learn how to ask for a coffee. Get the coffee yippee a result repeat.
NEED HELP. Hi, I'm a 53 year old woman from Ireland. I was diagnosed with ADHD about 3 weeks ago. I'm definately feeling a bit overwhelemed and lost with trying to learn as much as I can about ADHD in adults. Trying to figure out all of the ways it can effect people and figure out how it effects me. And I want to find/learn new practical ways, skills and strategies to help make life a bit easier, less stressful, more fun and I want to feel peace.
I found this video very interesting and I'm looking forward to your future videos, thank you.
P.s if anyone has any information, websites, links, hints and tips etc that may help please feel free to reply to this message. Thank you
Edit: I would also be interested in learning more about menopause and ADHD. Plus can greif effect ADHD???
@rachelh6330 When overwhelmed, deep breathing helps me. Plus writing down things. I've just moved into an old house. There is lots of cleaning that I want to do. So I've starting putting a post it pad and pen in my pocket, so that I can stay on task and feel calm/peace that I won't forget the next thing that I want to do. And every night be proud and grateful of the things that you did get accomplished. Even if it is just eating something healthy, walking the dog or washing your face. Don't focus on the little things that you didn't get accomplished. It helps to remind myself that everyone has struggles in their life, and this is just mine. And i try to be grateful for blessings in my life. Even if it is just the fact that you woke up today and were able to see the sun or flower or tree...☺️
I was diagnosed later in life and there is a book that really helped me. It's titled "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Crazy or Stupid?" The authors both have ADHD and have written it in a ADHD friendly format that is easy to digest. Hang in there, things will get easier. ❤
@@Lisa19000 thank you for your reply, very much appreciated.
@@cubbybear17 thank you. I'll have a look for that book. Thank you again.
2, 3, 5, 6 are my problem areas.
How do you start a routine when you aren't in motion for it?
Like an example is let's say I wanted to wash my hair every two days. How would you do that? Because at day two it's not actually dirty yet so there's no motivation yet but by day 3 it's not a good look.
How would you implement a routine when you have no motivation and you aren't in motion?
unless it is something that is there while you are in the zone.
My biggest challenge is feeling in a constant state of burnout. I have 2 speeds: running uphill at full speed and semi-unconscious. Help!
This is me!
Do people with ADHD get sometimes into a zone of clarity and efficiency? I had those couple of times in my life. I always cherish these memories. 😆 But I'm not diagnosed, that's why I'm asking.
is this comment written by AI?
Yes! it's called hyperfocus :)
As stated, hyperfocus is when neurodivergent people are extremely zoned-in. But people regardless of brain can go into what's called "flow state" when they feel extra interested & motivated to complete something.
@@DaNumba1RapperReads like a normal comment to me lol
I too cherish the times where hyperfocus hits, it feels great!
Yes, yes and yes😅
Hey fyi, not trying to be rude, but you forgot a word, "no"... When there is no deadline or consequences. That's an ADHD thing too isn’t it? I do that a lot! Leave out words, shorten words when speaking. Love to shorten words when texting.
I just moved, getting divorced, from a covert narcissist after 26 years of marriage, and my daughter blames me and estrangement 😓
I'm having a huge problem starting things, and when I do start them, also problems finishing them😬 Because I live by myself now so there is definitely no urgency or necessity. My starting problem probably has more to do with my depression. And showing up for myself, low self-worth. I have no problems going out of my way to help others with the same exact tasks. And being co-dependant, people pleaser and unhealthy attachment style. Generational dysfunction. Yes, I'm and my life is a mess right now and I have a lot of work to do😮💨. I just learned most of those things about myself and family this year. Oh, also CPTSD. I had no idea that you could get that from anything other than war or sexually or other physical abuse or radical, obvious psychological abuse. It's been a rough year. I'm a late ADHD diagnose, in my 40s. I'm 53 now. I'd love to hear info on menopause and the ADHD added struggles. I've never heard that before. I assumed that my added difficulties were due to my added stressors this year.
Complex trauma shares many symptoms with ADHD, so you'll have to unpack which habits are trauma-based & which are neurodivergence to them be able to appropriately handle them.
They tell me that it doesn't matter bc they'd be treating me the same way🤷♀️
Technically you're right either way because any sort of physical stress is added stress too!
Whether someone's sick, going through menopause, or healing from an injury, that's something that take away physical energy as our bodies heal or otherwise adjust to the changes, Menopause is exhausting to say the least, right?
That's how I think about this stuff. I find it helps me keep things in perspective a bit better (and I'm grasping for any bits better these days!)
(Sidenote, and more personally, I had to cut off my mother because of her narcissistic abuse. I'm sorry you're going through that kind of hell too, especially as someone who was often blamed myself. Wishing you the best in your healing 💕 You are not alone.)
@@sourgreendolly7685sorry that you had to go through that as well. It took me over 52 years to figure it out. How long did it take you? My Ex can't even admit that he is/was codependant and has attachment issues, let alone own up to the lies, gaslighting and belittlement. Doubles down on his lies, with proof of the contrary in front of his face. He is more than happy to let me take the fall with my daughter. She is 25, in denial and refuses to see a family therapist with me. Ik that we both have done some damage to her. But i am determined to grow and have healthy relationships. I'm hoping that she is doing some self work, but just not telling me.
@sourgreendolly7685 the sad thing is, not only are we not alone, it seems like an epidemic. I think that we need p.e., health AND emotional and relationship classes k-12. Kids/people don't have the tools or cope and deal and have healthy relationships. Someone explained it to me that we haven't evolved because we haven't needed it to to survive. And the awakening and movement towards healthy, rewarding relationships is partly due to the increase in mass murders and suicides... ie evolving bc it is becoming apparent that we need it survive now. I just hope more people decide that's the kind of life that they want. And do the work to strive for it.
Would you recommend a therapist before coaching? 3,4,5,6 are my areas of opportunity. I’m actually interested in coaching but I think I need to trauma dump elsewhere 😂 in order to begin navigate my life and potential properly
You should do therapy regardless, but people usually do them both in tandem.
if you're going to do one at a time then i would recommend therapy first. Doing them both at the same time would probably be best
Echoing therapy first/alongside coaching, both as someone that was very interested in being a life coach and has had years of therapy. In my experience, therapy made it possible to be coached so I definitely needed it first.
Depending on where you're at, therapy can be like building a foundation for a house and coaching can be like building the frame of the house.
ADHA is keeping or staying on Tracr
Omg this is me right now 🤦♀️🤯
Task initiation. If I am not interested...you should get someone else to do the task. Period. That is not being irresponsible or lazy. It's a fact.
Hyper focus or no focus. Especially for work...focusing on the wrong tasks or not now tasks. Email, learning, light thought/easy tasks versus big payoff projects and tasks. I was always fighting the timeline. There is now and not now.
Motivation. I teach at a Technical College. We have summer camps to plan and lead. I DESPISE those camps. My LEAST favorite task of the entire year. And my colleagues abdicated. One is on vacation before the camps and the other said she only wanted to help on the camp days because she is feeling overloaded this summer. Ugh. What about being a team?
Overwhelm. Ebbs and flows but God help me when it flows. Schnissel...does...not...get...done... (Like...right now!).
I have always had trouble with work and relationships. It is a love/hate thing consistently. Nothing ever works out the way I want OR need it to. It always "goes off a cliff". I almost never get the support I need from others, EVEN when I ask for it!! And I can't get my wife to acknowledge and help me with the ADHD. She says we all struggle that way....
I need a coach but...trying to find an insurance covered counselor who does that work with ADHD brains is overwhelming. I tried two different counselors late last year and both were a "no go". What to do? I'm just stuck on this.
I'll stop complaining now.... I suppose I should try to get something of value done today! 💔
DAMN MENOPAUSE.