Why Dads Want to Bathe with Daughters | React to Shocking Facts How Japanese Kids are Raised
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- Опубліковано 28 тра 2024
- How are Japanese children raised? A Japanese couple gives their opinion on a famous UA-cam video about raising children.
●The Paolo fromTOKYO's video that reacted to
Shocking Facts How Japanese Kids are Raised
• Shocking Facts How Jap...
[Timecodes]
0:00 Let's START!
2:12 Japanese moms are always with the baby
6:50 Sleeping arrangements
11:02 Taking a bath with the opposite sex parent
17:22 The importance of empathy
24:21 Disciplined by groups
29:00 Kids going to school alone
33:08 Healthy school food
41:33 Living with parents after high school
47:18 The ENDING
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In the US, kicking your kids out when they're 18 has essentially become a death sentence with how little employees are willing to pay them and how much it costs to live now.
This. Honestly if your kid is ready to move out on their own right at 18 you should be really proud of how well they're doing but it shouldn't be automatically expected of every kid, 18 isn't a magic age or number for most of those kids, most of them are still mentally kids until at least 20-21...
"you will own nothing and be happy"
the world elite want us eating bugs and living in pods.
It's so disturbing how expensive gaining opportunities is in the USA, getting out of that takes so much privilege.
I am happy I got to visit North America as a teenager but wouldn't care for the labor market before getting a masters degree.
Exactly… And, people have this idiotic notion that parenthood ends once your child is 18. It’s ridiculous… Your children will always need you no matter how old they are
I got kicked out when I was 18 did just fine but that was almost 20 years ago.
In the US, living with your parents was - probably still is - made fun of in media as something shameful, like someone not growing up, but it is becoming more common now because wages are not keeping up with the cost of living. In older times, families would live together, so shaming those who don’t move out immediately may be a needless stigma from a time when everyone was encouraged to (and more easily could) buy their own house, car, etc.
The image of fat man-child living in the basement is a stereotypical image people envision. Funny thing is though, my aunt has a nephew who is all that and worse. I don’t know whether to laugh at him or cry for her.
Exactly! My parents, and many of my friends' parents were fine with their adults kids living with them so long as they are either studying or working full time (or a combo of the two). So long as boundaries are set and the kids are contributing to the household, there really isn't a problem.
@@GoldenPeaches Very well said! Also, sometimes the son or daughter stays at home because their parent is disabled. That's the case with myself. I've been helping take care of my mom since I was 14. I'm my mother's only family and she can't live on her own. Everybody has their own unique situation and society and people around us are quick to judge something they know nothing about. It's unfortunate.
Here we always thought of Americans as cruel for doing that, because our families often stick together and when in need we can help each other.
Also I don't work at all and I don't care what people think about me in this regard. People should be measured by personality and actions in life, not jobs and income.
@@GoldenPeaches exactly. And thank you for writing out what I am too ashamed to. It’s just unnecessary shame, but even knowing that doesn’t make it easier. All will be right in the end. Stay safe and healthy because we matter too.
There is a quote from a Margaret Mead that says, "Children must be taught how to think not what to think." Love empowers them while fear controls and put shame. In my opinion.
Yeah teachers in the US and in 60% of Europe, basically control the students opinions
You don't need to say in your opinion
@@royalexodus2666 I'm from Australia and it's getting to that point in lots of schools now.
Perfectly stated 👍
@@Kalani_Saiko hopefully it will take a longer time then in our case, to get there
i remember this interview (i think either of hayao miyazaki or toshio suzuki) where basically, studio ghibli fought for the english release of my neighbor totoro insisting that the bath scene NOT be deleted (the one where the father takes a bath with his daughters). studio ghibli never compromised and did not want any aspect of japanese customs to be removed when international distribution wanted them to "cater" to international audiences.
Japanese culture has the element of skinship, yes. It literally means nothing else.
Woah, I didn’t know this! I remember watching “my neighbor Totoro” for the first time, and when I saw this scene I did find it odd. A father taking a bath with his daughters, but I kept in mind that this is completely normal in Japanese culture.
I detest censorship.
Better to just make a potential viewer aware of what the film contains and let them make their own choice.
It's very narcissistic to think that someone elses artwork should be changed or adapted to suit your own morals or cultural sensibilities.
At the end of the day, it's just artwork. If anyone was hurt during it's creation then that would've been a crime long before it being published.
Makes sense. The customs of other people shouldn't be outright censored from their own media. If Western audiences want to watch the movie, it's up to them to explain to their children why they may not agree with such a thing.
And anime distributors still try to do this.
I wonder if the data for adults taking baths with their parents include adults who assist elderly parents in bathing.
THIS!
I was wondering that and thinking about more rural areas where the hot water might be limited.
This is what I was thinking. They need help when they're older
Well I donno… many years ago there was only so much hot water to go around so at a point of time in history it probably made sense that the family would bathe together in a big tub. But that would have been in the 1900s. (I’m not a historian disclaimer). Sick people have sick fantasies. Anyone can always choose to engage with or deny primal thoughts, it’s a very human psychological trait. Humans are masters at justifying their actions, and being mindful when fatigued or tired can be quite taxing on all humans.
I also wondered if maybe it also included onsen use. I believe typically onsens are gendered, but I know there are private onsens and such. Maybe they are referring to this?
Remember, this is a culture that still uses public baths, and taking a bath is actually soaking and relaxing. Washing is either in a shower or on a stool outside the tub.
But why they still need to bathing together??
@@ellenaivanovych4916 because it’s a social activity. Like visiting a public sauna, if you want an analogy.
Anyone who thinks a bath makes you clean (insted of for relaxing) isn't thinking.
@@ellenaivanovych4916 yeah culture should maintained,but if the culture bad,should avoid
@@ellenaivanovych4916 why don’t you try it and find out for yourself? I love bathing in onsen in Japan, it’s an almost spiritual experience.
About half of young adults in the USA live with at least one of their parents still. The percentage has gone up slightly since the COVID-19 outbreak, but only by a few percent.
What's becoming even more common recently are parents moving in with their adult children (or getting their adult children to move back in with them).
The economy is horrible and minimum wage is not liveable. But, to get a better paying job, you have to go into debt to pay for college. So, you're not always coming out financially better. And, retirement costs too much, so many seniors still work to try and get by.
Big facts.
My oldest will not move out or help pay bills. I am on disability and have to pay for everything . I'm about to loose it all
And even if you get a degree you still have a hard time finding work. A lot of people with degrees can only find jobs that don't even require degrees
Speaking of children, I would love a brutally honest and to the point answer from Shogo on “Why Japan has a declining birth rate and why more than 25% of 20’s 30’s year old people have no desire to get married or have a partner at all?”
Thanks in advance.
I think the simple answer to this question for people all over the world is simply "Women actually have a choice now". XD
Money
Children are expensive
Main reason is work culture
@@kymo6343 hi!
Suppose that women in Japan are deprived of any other choice but to get married, the surveys included men as well from 20’s to 30’s year old who are not willing nor considering partnering with anyone. That is a massive effect on its own, doubled or tripled when women of the same age are thinking the same as well.
The being totally naked inside the house part:
In Germany there are bathing areas for people who don't like to have cloths on.
It's usually guarded by a huge sign saying "FKK" (Freie Körper Kultur = Free Body Culture) and there you can see people from all ages family and friends being totally naked.
The sign warns people like Shogo like "you sure wanna go down into this part of the bath/lake?".
It's a funny little trivia fact for this video.
There is a show on Netflix that is afew years old called Sense 8 and one of the characters Wolfgang, is filmed at a pool and sauna that must be what you are talking about. Like a modern roman bathhouse, which I think is a outstanding idea.
But like, some of those warning signs? By the time you get close to them, not knowing that they existed in the first place, you're already in full eyeshot of dangling sack.
I speak from personal experience ;D
Same in France, we have "naturist" places, beaches etc. You would know beforehand though, you wouldn't accidentally end up there, that's very unlikely.
US also has nude places like beaches, resorts, clubs etc.
Thanks for sharing, quite cute! Fair enough too, everyone gets what they want *thumbs up*
In Latin America, families are huge "extended" as we call them, kids regularly stay at home until they're like 25 or even more, if anything bad happens in their life (getting divorced, widowing, out of a job, sick, etc) it's very common for adult people to go BACK to their parent's house immediately, some times for years.
Even if you have your own house, chances are you're living with one or more of your parents in their elder years, and there's a big chance your in-laws visit for weeks at a time, like they'll have a near constant presence.
All of this is almost irrespective of the size of the house and salaries. Latin America is all about them giant families.
This is kind of how I was raised. My mom lived with her in-laws, my grandparents, when my dad left her. (Long story short, my mom is a narcissist and a bully, and he couldn't stand her toxic attitude any longer.) It's totally normal to me, but so is moving out and living on your own. I see both sides as normal. However, what I find unreal is this insane lack of care toward your own children that I see in some families where they literally shove the kids out as soon as they graduate or turn 18. "You're 18 now. Where are you going to live now?" It's insane to me. Family should stick together.
That's how a family should function. Why waste a lifetime buying homes when the family can buy one huge home for the family? It's cheaper and allows ownership. If each family member and spouse of 3 siblings earned at least $40k a year, that's $240k coming into the home. If everybody pitched in with around $1k a month, they could live in house too big to live in on a 50+ acre property and pay it off in a few years.
I think this culture is mostly prominent in developed western nation where economy depends on real estate as well
I remember walking to school by myself as a kid... Buuut I can also remember several times when men would pull up in their cars and offer me "rides" (always say no), when boys from school would follow me home harassing me, one time I got lost in the streets trying to evade a particularly threatening group of them... Sooo yeah I would never let my kid walk to school alone, even when she's older...
Also don't trust that bystanders will help your kid if they're in trouble, even if they're in plain sight. When I was being harassed and threatened by that group of boys I had to go to several homes and ask several people for help before anyone helped me. One old man even laughed at me when I asked for help, then went inside his house and opened the blinds on his window so he could watch what happened to me...
Thats not the norm
sounds creepy if it happened to a girl
@@dojinmayflower6185 Yeah I was a girl, but I wouldn't want a lil boy getting followed home by a group of people trying to harass or beat him up either...
@@user-yj7ve5zv9n Obviously. I admittedly lived in a pretty rough neighborhood. My parents are always telling me I'm paranoid when actually they weren't paranoid and aware of their surroundings enough and could have lost me at several points in my childhood if I wasn't the tough nut to crack with survival instincts up the wazoo that I am. But no normal all that shiz was not, I fully admit that.
I think the bath thing is different in the US because we don't have The same bathroom set up. we tend towards showers only, and no bath. when we bathe our children we wear clothes and bathe them from outside the tub. I remember having showers with my mother or female cousins when I was in elementary school but only when it was out of convince. that wasn't the ideal situation. it was when we has both my mom's family and my aunts family both staying at my grandparents house so we were conserving the hot water.
No we have showers and baths
When I had my son I had a high risk pregnancy and I had a C-section. I had worked every holiday, banked overtime, banked all of my vacation and sick leave. I did not take a single sick day during my pregnancy. I had horrible postpartum depression. I pumped at work, which was stressful. I worked ten hour days with hour lunch and it took 15 minutes to get to and from work. So some days I was away for around 12 hours a day. My husband worked nights so we would pass our son back and forth. This is pretty common in the USA.
I really hope you're taking care of yourself and doing better now
I am a stranger to you, but my mother also worked similarly and suffered postpartum depression (after having me!) so I empathize and wish you well. Have a great week.
If this is how people live, why have children? If the father works nights, then he’ll be sleeping in the day, so how can he look after the baby?
Growing up in 1980s/90s Minnesota, we had older students who were assigned to come down the big street with flags and collect the smaller students from our houses. We would walk to school and back home in a group like this. There were a number of “stranger danger” stories spread to kids by TV and parents, encouraging K-lower elementary to only go out with trusted older people.
School Patrol! I had a whistle, a flag, and a baton. I grew up in Carver County MN dude. My Principal told us, that if a bully or an adult didn’t listen to us(school patrol) when we said leave the kid or ourselves alone to use the batons on the shins and blow the whistle. I never had to use the baton thankfully. Had to use my whistle a lot though and chase bullies. Loved that bit, and the pizza parties!
I’m 27 and living with my family and everything that Shogo said about the cons of not living on my own is true 😅
My parents would annoy the crap out of me. I don't know how you do it. I couldn't wait to get away and be the only one who could annoy me.
I lived with my parents until I was 22 because I was going to college full time, working part-time, and had been diagnosed with Crohn's Disease when I was 20. Once I got my doctorate, I moved back in with my parents while I got credentialed, but once those optometrist paychecks started rolling in, it was house hunting time!
Congratulations. It is not easy to do with Crohn's Disease.
When I see ads for Crohn's Disease I remember my friend who went through surgeries, long hospital stays, unable to walk, so much pain---now medication comes in a pill. May you continue to have a life where your options for a home and happiness can be yours.
And one of the problems with the terrible school food in the US is that then there are ADULTS who are picky eaters, like in that they literally won't eat anything other than chicken fingers (I worked with a man like this.), or pizza, or frozen food. One of the problems is that parents also don't learn how to cook vegetables so that they're tasty, so when veggies at home and at school are boiled and tasteless mush, that's just how they think vegetables are.
I must point out here that many children and adults who have food issues are actually on the Autism spectrum, where this is very common. Yes I have met young people who have never been encouraged to try different foods but Autism is often the cause of many people only being able to cope with very limited tastes and textures.
This brings back memories when I was a child, in Japan where my parents lived, I always slept with them and it was very cute of me. I do remember how my parents were always raising me in Japan and they want me to always be a kind and nice person and always be polite to everyone in the community and with my friends. I will definitely be a polite and respectful person my parents raised me to be and to be very responsible for everything I do which I have always did and my parents were very proud of me. Thank you so much for another reaction video, Shogo!
For people living with their parents, keep in mind the price of apartment and houses are pretty high, it's nearly impossible for young adult to afford most of them.
So unless they come from a rich family(or family who owns other houses), or your job provides you with an apartment or high enough pay to live in one, Living with your parents is a real economic solution.
but also yes, Parents should make their adult child pay for their expenses, like their phone.
I lived with my parents when I graduated from college, for almost 2 years. They charged $200/month which covered food, landline, all utilities, etc. And of course, i helped with housework, cooking, etc. Best roommates ever and I knew all the rules! It was cheaper than finding roommates or having my own place. It allowed me to save up first and land months rent and a down payment for a car. But it also required me to be an adult.
@@jenniferpearce1052 woah, charging your kid is insane, might as well find rommates to live with and pay. in my country you stay with parents to save money, not spend extra
@@rainbows5232 In the US, teaching your kids to be independent adults is a core value. And paying only $200 a month is a LOT less than what my share of rent would have been in an apartment, not yo mention I didn't pay anything for food or utilities and my parents lent me a car for months so I could save up to buy one. Plus, how many roommates love you the way your parents do? It was great. The $200 was a token payment. Enough to notice it being "gone" but not enough to prevent me from saving up for first & last month's rent, furniture and a car that I would need when out on my own.
@@jenniferpearce1052 well yeah my parents love me more, and thats why the didnt charge me for staying in what always was my home. i just had to pay for things i wanted for myself. im from israel, so im after mandatory military service.we only stay with parents because its pricey, and because usually what people do after military, is yo work to save money to go on a long trip abroad, some go for a year some go for half a year. wich is what im currently doing, saving monet for a trip, im 21. and the average age we go to university is 24, because inbetween high school and university, we have en extra life stage, wich is military and a trip. so does who go live with roomates or alone ite because they prefere being apart from the parents even if they lose money. no such thing here such as charging your kid, becuase we all know its expensive, not because of lack of independence
@@rainbows5232 Paying rent to your parents seems pretty reasonable. You can think of it in away of living by yourself and needing to pay rent but that rent comes with food and a better place than a packed apartment with no place to park your car, especially now with how the prices for everything are through the roof. I myself at 25 live with my parents and transfer my mom 150euros/month.
As someone from the Netherlands I am very used to children walking or cycling up to 30 or so minutes from home to school by themselves starting at around 7/8 y.o.but I rarely see children on busses or trams on their own until around 10 or 11 y.o.
And school lunches in general have always been confusing to me because we never had that at school itself, only at before and after school 'daycare' (I think that is the closest word, in elementary school parents could have their kids stay before and/or after school, like I think 6:30 am to 6 p.m. for a 8:30 a.m to 3:00 p.m (average) schoolday, so they wouldn't be home alone, mostly just younger kids though) in elementary school i do remember you could sign your kids up to get fruit cups and milk for lunches but I don remeber that past age 8, everyone just brought their own lunch and 9/10 times that lunch was sandwiches and fruit with a juice box and a packet of cookies/crackers or something, In high school it was the same just that we also had vending machines with juice, water, soda, chips, cookies, candy and cereal bar type stuff, the canteen sold panini's and drinks and upper years (about 13/14 y.o.) were allowed to go to the shops and grocery stores a 3/4 minute walk away to buy stuff, kids mostly buy croissants and energy drinks because they are cheap.
In Australia we would call that after school thing after school care, close enough :)
About living at home.
My aunt used to charge rent to her kids once they got a job and if they did not help around the house would take more money. She did not keep the cash for the most part just put it in an account for college. It was not much she was taking in terms of money but it got them thinking that they don’t get to keep every dollar. Made them think about the cost of things they wanted to use.
It was funny to hear 16-year olds boys complaining about taxes but they could cook, do laundry and clean the house like no body’s business when they were 18.
Well done Aunty! She had it right. I had a son and two daughters. I taught them from young how to cook and do the housework and laundry. I said it doesn’t matter what’s between their legs, they are human beings who need to know how to look after themselves and others. My son has always been able to look after himself and his own family, especially when his wife was poorly, pregnant or nursing their babies. Parents who don’t teach their children these things are actually making their children’s future lives and relationships hard.
Japan: "You are embarrassing the family."
USA: "I am disappointed in you."
Either way, it hurts as a kid.
Group discipline: Reminds me of Native Americans raising the children as a village. Your parents are your parents, but fellow children are considered your brothers and sisters, all the adults are your aunts, uncles, elderly are the grandparents. A very close-knit community that works together and everyone instructs the young.
For the most part the community raising each kid thing sounds pretty awful to me and anyone else who grows up in areas surrounded by people with drastically different ideologies and/or if they are surrounded by morons.
Thats also very similar in Filipino culture. That's why I refer to everyone who isn't even related to me as my uncles, aunties, grandpa, grandma, big sister and big brother.
@@robertgolston404 It was a lot better in the cultures of native americans, where there was far more that united a community than divided them.
@@robertgolston404 Back a generation or two, or three even, the community shared an idealized cultural togetherness where, even if we originally hailed from differing cultural backgrounds, we adopted the cultural homogeny of the new culture we were entering, and thus, everyone for the most part were on the same page, and there were no issues with cultural and idealogical difference between houses.
But now, with the heavier than usual influx of foreign nationals into our western societies, these interlopers are not willingly subsuming their old culture so they can blend into the new culture of the area they've move to. But rather, they retain their previous culture and form up into their own little cliques of cultural sameness with the multitudes of others that have moved there like them, and so they don't feel the need to integrate with our culture anymore. Rather, they insist that we make all of these special allowances for them to continue to practise their own, older culture; while they get to ignore and do away with our culture instead, in favour of the old culture that they were supposedly moving away from. This is probably why you have the attitude that you do have with regards to communities helping to raise kids together.
That’s how we grew up in the hood
I am Canadian and don't know what the norm is in Canada, but I personally never took a bath with either of my parents and never took one with my child, nor did my husband. I would say that unless the child was a baby, people would think it was very inappropriate to be naked with a child in any setting.
My parents didn't do it because babies urinate and defecate in the bath tub. When I had my baby I doubt take baths with my baby either for that reason. I did takes shower with them when they vomited all over themselves and me. We got it the shower fully clothed and I took our layers of in the shower. In that instance I needed to rinse off our clothes and bathe us, that was just the easiest way to get it done at that time.
My parents had us shower with them when we were very young in order to show us how to shower properly until we got to elementary school age.
@@KingKafei Same here. Bathe the infant in the kitchen sink, then graduate to the bathtub when they get bigger (baby in the tub, parent outside it to do the washing), then bath by themselves with help from parent as needed, then shower with the parent to figure out how to do everything standing up, then shower by yourself. All by the time your 1st/2nd grade if I remember correctly, and the co-shower would be with the same gendered parent (since adult parts are at the child's eye level).
our current sitting us president showered with his daughter up until she was 12, her words!
When Harumi said "4 families" in the same room, I automatically said, "No that's not correct. You're referring to Mexico, not Japan"
😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
It's just a joke, just chill and laugh a little.
I thought the same exact thing! XDb
As soon as I saw the title of this video, I was like hold up wait a minute.
Same
Yeah, and that’s why he’s answering that question.
@@waterfallsandrain read my comment again it clearly says title so I thought this before watching the video
i just want to say thank you for the disclaimer about how it’s a different situation to still be living with your parents if you physically need their help. i’m 26 and still living at home due to being chronically ill, and it hurts sometimes to hear people act like it’s just totally unacceptable to be in that situation no matter what the circumstances. it’s very easy for able-bodied folks to forget about those of us with disabilities, so it was really nice to see you consider that!
I love hearing about school lunches. In america they’re so unhealthy and the proportions are terrible. I went to a K-8 school lunches were $5 a day and in 8th grade (13) you got the same small portion as the 5-year-olds
Don't you know ketchup is a vegetable and pizza are vegetables? US lunches are totally healthy. All sarcasm aside yeah they are a joke, and those things actually are considered vegetables according to the US.
Yeah the US needs to make the school lunches healthier all over, but the lunches I had as a kid wasn't quite as bad as pizza every single day at least... Though it was weekly, usually on Wednesday or Friday. XD But a little kid shouldn't be forced to eat if they aren't hungry anymore, just have smaller servings for kids with smaller stomachs so food still isn't wasted...
Here in Finland, at least in my elementary school, we got pizza once a year, on some day in the last week of school before summer break. In fact, most of the food during that last week was more or less junk food (tacos, hamburgers etc.) that we only got once a year at school. Everyone always looked forward to it.
Well the thing is, in Japan women get a full paid year off for maternity leave after having a kid and even men get long paid paternity leave. In the us, women are lucky if they get 6 weeks of maternity leave, and that is unpaid. That’s a common thing too in other countries.
When I was a child in the '70s, my parents thought nothing of letting me walk to and from school by myself, just under a mile each way, about half of which was through residential neighborhood, and the other half through the local business district. When I was in kindergarten, about 5 years old.
Even in the 90s it was the same at least for me. Times have changed so much in the last 20 years
Hint: It'd be very helpful if you people would state what country you grew up in, as this is extremely relevant to the conversation.
@@DasAntiNaziBroetchen new Zealand here
I read it initially as "battle with daughters", and I'm not sure which is worst
Def battling.
I'm grateful I never had daughters... I'd never have won a battle with them.
The benefit of living at home 18+ is that you can save a lot of money to help you in later life. If you are allowing your children to stay and spend money recklessly that's bad, but allowing them to stay as long as they are saving a lot of their income then that's going to allow them to buy a house etc rather then rushing them out the door and having them struggle to save due to rent.
I was a kid in the 70s and stay at home moms were still common.
In the current economic climate and housing market in the US, it is quite common to still live with family in adulthood, or with friends/roommates.
May I say that Japanese baby the mother was washing had to be the cutest little thing I've seen in my life; that smile is too beautiful ❤️
I'm amazed at how much this channel has added and helped me get perspective on aspects of Japanese society. Especially the smaller parts where research and books are harder to give the full picture. Amazing work Shogo! Couldn't ask for anything more from this vid (or could I since you definitely know more than I do). Seeing your video todays is a perfect end to a great birthday for me. Keep it up and we're with you for reaching your new milestones and goals!
Well, the norm is usually having the grandparents looking after the babies if the mother needs to go out(assuming the father cannot either).
Babysitters are usually for 4+ year olds I would say. and the older the child, the younger the babysitter could be(teens usually).
Also, I had heard something about the difference between the need for independence in the US(and to make the child learn about it early by leaving them alone more often, even if just in their room), VS the need to interdependence in Japan, where the mother stays around the child at all time(up to a point, mostly kinder-garden I suppose).
Like the way to deal with a child, influence those hmm.. strong desires I guess. I thought that was an interesting thought.
Oh also, i really depends what they mean by "away" is it not the same room? not the same house? out of eye contact..?
I was watching Nativelang's video on Aizuchi, and now I notice how much you two chime in while the other is speaking. It's nice learning how other people view something as seemingly simple as politeness and engagement.
"He was apologizing to the locker" - 😂😂😂
It's really cool how Asian culture can be so related. It's also pretty common to sleep in one room with your parents here in the Philippines. It can also depend on different circumstances (a small house, very few rooms.. Etc) or simply because the kids are just more comfortable that way. I already had my own room when I was 11, but only really started using it when I turned 18 because I just felt more safe sleeping in the same room with my parents and two younger brothers. I'd only use my room during the daytime. 😂 Also Filipinos are encouraged to stay with their parents even when they're old because you're more or less likely to be your own parents' retirement plan unless they genuinely want you to stick around. Some parents would even allow their kids' own families to stay in the same house as long as they're helping with bills. You're never alone in a Filipino family because of "close family ties" culture.
I was born and raised in England, but sharing a bedroom with babies is not uncommon here. My dad grew up in Asia and it was normal to share the bath until we were quite old. We also removed our shoes and had other things that some English people might not always do?
Both my babies were in our bedroom until they were 3. Not because we didn’t have space, but because I wanted them near me. And my second baby was still chest feeding until she was 2.
I still take baths with my 9 year old! She loves me scrubbing her back and we talk about how we are feeling and stuff. Plus she has long hair and it’s difficult to wash even at her age. She is learning to wash and brush her hair better every day, but I think it will be another year or so before she wants to bath alone.
Our school uniform rules are quite strict here, and it’s common to walk to small schools alone from age 8-9. I was catching a bus to the nearest town to get to school each day from age 9.
We had a school meal revolution about 15-20 years ago? Where our meals were changed. Now school meals are very balanced and have to have specific nutrients and a low level of salt and sugar. A different meal is served every day. And it costs about £2 a day maximum. They still have things like fish fingers and chips, but the chips have the skin on, and they are severed with vegetables and salad, and the desert is often a cake or similar, but there is always fruit and fruit yoghurts available. And water to drink.
Children don't "chest feed". They breastfeed. I hope you aren't indoctrinating your children with your misogynistic attitudes.
I also hope that you aren't teaching them to end statements in questions marks, which is just as bad as the misogyny, I'd say.
I grew up in Japan (I’m Norwegian), and I love hearing your perspective on the Japanese culture. There were so many things I didn’t understand in kintergarden, since it was so different at home! One time I was forced to eat up my lunch to the point where I ended up puking…after that I was allowed to bring obento from home, but that made me stand out even more. I absolutely love so much about japanese culture, but that aspect isn’t one of them.😅
I did take 1 hour train rides once a week from the age of 8, that independence was something I really enjoyed. I always felt safe! Now when I have kids that age, friends (here in Norway) can sometimes be surprised by the responsibility/freedom I give them. Culture is really fascinating!
Thank you for this channel! It’s helping me filling out some of the gaps from growing up in two countries. ❤
On bathing, I wonder if the over 20 numbers are including those adult children who bathe with their elderly parents. It would be the same way a parent is there with the young child, the adult child would be there to assist or watch out for the elder. Just a guess
In Australia children from very age
are given chores to do and are taught to help out around the house and if you’re still living with your parents after the age of 18, you’re expected to contribute to the household financially and to help out around the house with cooking and cleaning , it’s to help the kids to get ready to live on their own.
That’s how it should be.
So how it is in most of the world including the US.
Here in Italy living with your parents after 18 is not necessarily something people want to do, but almost everyone has no other choice, like the only way you can afford that is if you go live in a very tiny apartment with other people to share rent and still you're probably getting the money to do it from your parents as you are completely busy with university, living alone before 24-25 is overwhelmingly hard here.
I went to high school in asia. I'm an old man now, but I still make a health-conscious bento box for my work lunch almost every day.
When I was young in Australia, bath time was once a week as it was hard to heat the water with an old wood chip heater. So mum would bath firstt. I would then bath with my father and Brother together probably up to about six years old (I am female). The rest of the week it was hot body washes standing in a small tub. Later when we got a gas heater we would have individual bathes or showers, by ourselves. at aound 11 or 12 years old, I can remember naturally covering myself up in front of my father and brother from my own choice. I think it is a natural human instinct with age, and should not be forced. I cannot remember seeing my brother or father naked after the age of six.
I think the tradition of mixed bathing at all ages is something that should be a lot more common. Getting rid of nudity taboos would make people more comfortable in their bodies, and help reduce the effect of body shaming and over-sexualization.
Will never work in a.multi culture and multi ethnic countries
Yeah. Guess that could be true. Nudist families do it all the time in communities. Have to be careful of predators even in a nudist community though just as anywhere else.
in the usa no matter how low a person goes, drugs, promiscuity, prostitution, etc...nudity is still a taboo to them, it's crazy. Everything is okay except casual nudity!
It comes with a great risk though. It's not easy to implement that in any way.
@@joejones9520 According to what people say not what people do.
Also, not mentioned in this video, having really little kids start going out on errands when they're like 3 to walk across town to do a task for their family!! I would worry SO MUCH. Our giant trucks and inattentive drivers and people would just mean dead preschoolers everywhere.
Not related to the subject matter but I love seeing Shogo and Hinata communicating with each other. So very attentitive, actively listening and with a lot of interest for what the other has to say. To me this is what love looks like. Such a joy to see 🥰
This is very interesting information, like how Japanese parents or just the mom stays with the kid almost all the time except for like 2ish hours while over here US is so different because yeah it's true when your a baby your parents work so they don't really see you at all :|
Edit: For some families ofc
I believe a stay at home parent (mom or dad) is a very important job (a very hard but wonderful job). Especially nowadays with how children are abused in schools and daycares.
@@theesper7404 in the US now it's unsustainable for one parent to stay at home. People are paid so little now for their work and prices are rising at such a rate that having 2 full-time working parents is now the only way to survive now.
@@Worm-revolver Yeah the prices are going crazy high now.
@@theesper7404 I agree but the prices aren't helping and how the jobs are paying for some people aren't enough and it's tough for some parents or most of everyone.
@@Darz52 it is. A lot of businesses in my area are not giving raises to employees and our grocery prices are outrageous.
This is so informative. As someone learning Japanese so I can one day more there it’s so cool to learn about the culture 💛
I would probably have died of laughter if I saw a Japanese elementary school kid sincerely apologizing to a locker 😂
yeah 😂
in the situation with the locker, we would be told "what happens if that locker falls on you and you get hurt?"
The kids sleeping in the same room or even the same bed as their parents is definitely one that is completely foreign territory for me. My sibling and I always had our own rooms and we were not allowed to sleep in our parents' room at all. Even when sick or unwell, we weren't allowed to sleep in our parents' bed. The mere notion was almost taboo somehow. We were raised that each of our rooms was our own private space so I honestly can't fathom having to share a room with my parents or my sibling.
The student and the locker bit had me laughing hard thinking "The Kami in that locker was not happy, but accepted the students apology I hope.
I am actually very surprised how much we (wife and I), in America, have raised my son like it is done in Japan. My wife stayed at home with our son until after he was 6 years old. It was not until he was around 5 that we started him in his own room, though he still will come in in the middle of the night. His mother stopped bathing with him just before he turned 4, and I stopped bathing with him just before he turned 5. If we had onsen here in the USA, probably would have gone longer. As far as teaching empathy, we do a mix of "this is breaking the rules" and "how do you think your actions made that person feel?".
This was such an awesome video! Thanks!
this video is as much fun as is educational. Truly well created. Well done. Thanks too.
18:08 I'm not Japanese, but my parents did make a point of emphasise how important it was to have empathy. It is actually something I'm realising more and more is a taught skill. I have ASD and ADHD, so technically I should struggle with empathy, but my parents are themselves examples of being empathetic people (for the most part, they're not flawless) and taught my sister and I how bad actions affect others and how we should always think how we would feel if we were the ones at the other end of the action. Things like "You don't like it when someone steals from you, so how do you think people would feel if you stole from them?" And the sort.
Edit. Also the part about the rules is important, but more important than just knowing the rules, you have to be taught WHY the rule was made in the first place.
I am surprised how common sleeping in the same bed as your children is in Japan, especially since here in the US parents are told by doctors not to sleep with their babies for fear they will be hurt.
Great video. Thanks for sharing your perspectives and insights. I especially liked hearing from Harumi. Great supporter and partner for you and your channel. I’ve learned more about Japanese life and culture here than other channels. Thank you.
This video is exciting for me, I have been following Paolo and his family for a while now. It would be amazing if you guys could all do a collaboration video. Paolo does awesome work, and his skills keep getting better and better each year. This makes me very happy, thank you for posting this wonderful video.
The part at 23:50 really resonated with me. I never quite thought about explaining it that way before. Thank you for sharing!
“Aren’t you embarrassed” and “don’t shame the family” were my Japanese mom’s reprimands. So true!
From what I know from anime is that little kids have their own apartments and take care of themselves in tokyo while their parents live over seas for work.
While I lived with my parents, because I was working I paid rent/board to them, did my own laundry. I also shared the cooking with both my parents. The rule was whomever arrived home first cooked dinner.
Your comments are always interesting and insightful. Thank you and Harumi and Tomoko for reacting and sharing your own experiences and impressions.
Top UA-cam channel. So informative 👏
I didn't miss one video. Keep up your hard work.
Greetings from Scotland
That's a beautiful family you have Mr. Shogo. Always a pleasure to hear the knowledge you have.
Brilliant video!
I lived on Okinawa for 15 years. For some of those years I taught at Japanese Public Junior High Schools, some Elementary schools, and later at Ryu Kyu University. All teachers and coaches were responsible for teaching the subject matter and the general mannerism and behaviors for all students. For me it was an incredible life lesson...
These reaction videos are so fascinating AND funny. I really enjoy laughing with your videos at the end of a long day. Thank you for sharing!!
I didn't move out till recently (27), because I couldn't afford to do so earlier (very expensive City/State). I've been doing fine so far as well, because by 27 I had saved a considerable sum of money as I was raised to be quite cheap. Not poor, but certainly close enough to be cheap. My parents were stingy so if I wanted anything, I had to save for a while. By the time I could afford the things that I had wanted, I didn't want to spend the money!
I live in a multigenerational home in America, and I love it. My wife and I live with my parents, in an attached casita. I’m an engineer, and my wife is a stay at home mother, so we don’t NEED to live with my parents, but it’s absolutely fantastic. Our son gets to see his grandparents every day, and they dote on him, my wife and my mom split the cooking and cleaning which makes everyone’s life easier. Sadly, despite loving our situation, and despite it being totally normal in the rest of the world, I still feel embarrassed telling people “I live with my parents”. What a world.
This has been an interesting video! There are so many differences in the 'standard' methods for different countries. My kids are very well behaived in public and everyone here is like "How do you do that?" while thier kids are making a big scene. I can't say it was purposefully a focus but I was always polite and respectful with my kids and let them know that their actions impact themselves, people and the world around them, still do since they're teens. I wish I could let them free roam around the neighborhood like I did growing up. Unfortunately we live in a very busy section of streets and drivers here do not pay attention to other cars let alone children so it feels too unsafe. I have been hit 2x on our street alone and people ignore the school bus. I think that the kids serving each other food in Japan is really nice. I can see where that would foster cooperation and responsibility.
VERY entertaining video, i love listening to you both!!
I went to university locally. So was less expensive to live with my parents. I finally left home when I was 21. However my uncle my mother's brother, stayed at home until he got his bachelor's degree at the age of 25. For us it was a financial situation since going to school here so expensive.
Best channel bar none when it comes to Japanese Culture👍. I love how you embrace your culture with no compromises. Keep preserving your culture brother💪
I been a full time mom to a pair of twins (now 17) and a single (14:yr old). I couldn't have my parents babysit the kids because they were so much older when i had them and could not keep up with toddlers!! So I quit my job (I was a hotelier) and it was exhausting!! When the kids were older, I was able to get a babysitter for when we went out which was not often. I work part time now and still able to be there for the kids.
Very interesting, thanks for sharing!
Shogo-san, do you and your family always wear traditional clothes when you are outside in public? I know that this is acceptable, but I saw very little traditional clothing when I was in Tokyo.
It's probably more common in Kyoto where he's living in since there are a lot of antique kimono shops there. I don't see more urban areas dressing traditionally.
I have in one way or another been pretty connected with my family. I’ve been renting from the lower half of their house for years. It took time to get over my own self stigma, but I was grateful for my folks that offered.
I love your videos so much, and love the way you and you wife are dresses in traditional japanese clothing but have also a modern mindset.
Fascinating and educational video! I love learning about your experiences and insights of Japan even though I have no desire to live there haha
This was a very informative video, thank you guys! I think the Discipline by Groups thing is not as different now as back in the day like Shogo & Harumi said. In the USA, if your child goes to preschool, they usually learn the same things about self-sufficiency as in Japan. I know this as someone who worked in a preschool.
In the USA, after a female or even male child reaches a certain age, privacy during bath time is a law.
I have two young boys and I agree with your wife on not wanting a babysitter for your small kid. I used one with my first when I had to go back to work after COVID had us shutdown for a year. I was sad and worried all the time for him, unfortunately he did end up in a bad situation under someone else's watch. He's okay now and a very happy [almost] 4 year old. But before that incident, I was very happy to get his first year with me staying at home. I loved it, it got lonely at times, but I would make sure to go out when I had the energy. Now with my second been born my husband stayed home with both boys for a year and a half now as he is doing school and I work. We switch off who watches the boys. America doesn't allow women to take very long leaves with a guaranteed job back after having a baby, the most we can get is two months, unless you have complications then MAYBE 6 months. Also, we can't usually afford one person work, one stay home with kids. Then again, it's hard to afford daycare too if you don't have family to watch for free. My husband and I just said "either way we won't be getting x amount of money because it will either be shelled out to daycares or we don't get a paycheck." So we chose the route we are on right now with our boys. America, to me, doesn't seem to care about kids/families. Everything is unaffordable and the access for stuff for kids is unreasonable. School lunches, affordable health care and dental care, daycare prices, parental leave after birth, etc
There is a documentary on Netflix here in Australia that follows young Japanese school children who go to and from school alone as well as return to an empty house and have to let themselves in etc.
I'd be interested in your and Harumi's reactions to the documentary.
I had the same request. I saw that series and it was fascinating. It seemed a bit exploitive to the children, but I understand the emphasis on training for independence and support to others.
I also wondered if you’ve seen the anime series on Netflix “Kotaro Lives Alone” (2022)? It was so deeply moving in the themes of abandonment and hope.
In our country living with parents after high school/college is normal. Most of the parents allows their kids to live with them even after they graduate and got job since it's more practical money wise. It's easier to save up money and just buy your own house instead of moving out immediately and rent. Also makes it easier to pay for bills since you have someone else to split the bills to.
But maybe this is only normal for us cause we are really close to family (most of the time several family lives at one house) and a really expensive cost of living and low salary.
One of my favourite UA-cam channels reacts to another of my favourites
This video was hysterical. Thank you, made my night.
I'm glad to see Paolo from Tokyo, and also glad that you also did another video with Nobita from Tokyo, what about doing other collabs with Yuki the dark side of Japan or Japan Walker ?
I'm 24 years old and I still live with my mom, but that's because I'm still studying in university and I also always help my mom cleaning the house, cooking, washing the clothes, etc. Hopefully, I'm going to graduate very soon and get a job to live on my own.
Very interesting!
For me being a grandmother, I babysit my grandkids when needed. Today children should be taught about common sense then about being techie savvy. For me the child safety is first and lots of love.💜👍
Shogo's children are ADORABLE! Oh my gosh! Precious! ❤️
18y/o is not an adult. Neurology shows that the human brain isn't developed until age 25.
I have no issue with older kids doing their own laundry, cooking some family meals, etc... but there is no way most 18 y/o are ready to be on their own.
One major issue I have is predators. This is especially true of landlords and employers who take advantage of young people who don't know their rights and are desperate to "prove" themselves. That doesn't even touch on sexual predation or older people who want a young person they can trap into abusive relationships.
Throwing a child out is a betrayal of their trust and a failure of parenting.
Love it!!! Hoping my son will experience the school system in Japan in the near future. I like the school lunches.
Shock hearing you and your wife’s own tales of growing up was amazing
Very beautiful family you should be proud, I wish you and your family a long and blessed life
From the States. In the States it's common for babies to sleep in the same room to help minimize the risk of SIDS, usually in a bassinet. The difference is that once they outgrow the risk (about 6 months I think? It's when they're able to roll over on their own), it's common to move them into their own room with a baby monitor, though I think it's not uncommon to keep them in the same bedroom until they're 8-12 months.