Wow, I am the very opposite..cannot relax if there are things to be done. If it's late and I must get to sleep, then getting everything out of my head by making a list at least helps stop the mind from spinning
YourWorstNitemare for some reason I can avoid things during the day by sleeping but if I have too many things overwhelming me I can’t sleep at night. Generally this is only a problem when my anxiety is in overdrive though.
I know the feeling, and with age and time have learned from mistakes/the past. YOU have to turn it around and there's no magic to it other than work and will power. No one's gonna do the work for you. The biggest and perhaps hardest thing you need to do is change your sleeping pattern-force yourself to get up early and get into a routine. Make lists to get all your to-dos out of your head, then tackle one thing at a time. I always like to start with what's quickest and easiest so I can start knocking things off the list, unless there's something urgent and involved that demands my attention, but those little wins are powerful and will motivate you to keep going. Remind yourself of the great feeling of having getting whatever it is done-that feeling of accomplishment and freedom. Throw in some exercise, and you will start sleeping like a baby.
When I first started learning about MBTI, I learned that certain personality types needed a lot of sleep. I was suprised to learn this. More so that INFJ's need it more so for this very reason: being overwhelmed by tasks mostly.
Ha! This happens to me all the time, coupled together with fear of failure, so I don’t actually start doing anything that I need to do because I’m just like “Welp, I’ll fail at it anyway so why bother!” and then I slowly watch everything crash and burn to then reaffirm the fact that I suck at things anyways! What a mess, honestly
Ikr! Overthink in seconds! All of it plays out in your head. So its like Nope. F- that! I choose what I want which is currently nothing since it won't work anyway.. Lol Yeah. ⚠🚨😂
Same. If something is not going to be perfect I want to give up, if I know I should not give up my anxiety shows up and I start having panic attacks until I give up
Don't be afraid of failure. I was too when I was younger. That's NOT a good thing, to not pursue because of failure. I have learned, pursue ALL your goals and dreams. Even if just for two hours a day. The more experience you get, the better you will do. Never, ever give up! I wish I had pursued my dreams more.
This is 100% what I GO THROUGH- THANK YOU !!! I feel seen. A lot of people don’t understand how it feels to just be frozen by fear of everything because it’s so overwhelming.
yup, this is my life! every single day. the only thing that seems to help, as you said, is to just do one thing (put that snorkel on and dive in) because not only does that get one thing accomplished, the thrill of getting something done provides enough energy to conquer the next task.
The fact that this video is an escape for me in this situation rn. I'm literally overwhelmed by so many things I could use my time on to unleash my potential but I can't cuz I'm scared I'll mess it up and let's just not do it anyways so I came to watch videos on how not to do it by doing it. Crap.
So well said - i never thought about it in this way before. To be willing to let everything else burn to the ground (even though it won't) while you focus on one task is extremely hard for me, because it literally feels like eveyrthing else will burn to the ground. I feel like i catastrophize everything in my head all the time while most people are able to just close out what's not currently important and not panic about it.
Wait until you buy a house. Literally a never-ending list of tedious jobs which makes you want to sit and cry while the building slowly crumbles around you. Or move out. Whichever happens first.
Currently experiencing this now. We get our keys in two weeks. Husband works full time, 3 teenage daughters, 3 different schools, I'm a stay at home mom, I'm packing, and worrying, alone 7 hours a day. Shit. The StRess. My body has literally been vibrating since we decided on the house 3 weeks ago!!! I just want to get in the house before I die!. Lol Sorry. Too many words, so many emotions. So overwhelmed I just have to sit for fear of a heart attack. Where is the pause button. Crap, frozen pizza tonight kids. Mom's stuck.
Or you can focus on the positive fact that you are a homeowner and make the most of it. Many people cannot afford houses these days, so it’s somewhat inconsiderate to complain about it.
I trick my Brain when I feel overwhelmed and start procrastinating: i cut my task into pièces and tell myself i'll only work on it for 10mins but then I get into a productive mood and keep going. I can also make a list of the task that can be done in 2minutes, put on some music and really try to stop thinking and just do it. Méditation before that helps clear your mind.
LMAO! I do this as well! If my To Do List just isn't cutting it that day, it's time to spin myself a lie.. Also I would like to add that I find it rather amusing that we can so easily trick our infj minds, but like hell if someone outside ourselves is gonna pull one over on us! We didn't just see u coming miles away, we seen the thought enter ur mind a week ago while we were eating popcorn & watching a movie at ur place!😜😜
FJ, I totally get it! It's like extreme overwhelm and then inertia/do nothing mode. Add in the unhelpful coping methods and it's a painful recipe for disaster. Mindfulness is probably the key.
I'm paralyzed because I'm overwhelmed and i decided to watch your UA-cam videos instead. Thank you for this, now I'm on my way to study cause that's what i should have been doing all this time.
It's when ur extremely invested in the outcome of the task that you're afraid to even start because u want to have the perfect idea, the perfect execution of said idea and want to give it your undivided attention but there are so many things u want to give ur undivided attention to that you already feel like you won't do it justice so rather leave it for when you can give it the attention it needs.... Only, it never happens because of all this other stuff sitting on ur head. Yeah. Happens to me a lot and u only get more frustrated in the end because u realised u wasted a ton of time you could have used towards a particularly perfect idea to begin with. I wonder if that has to do with the IxxJ control issues. 🤔
Short but sweet. Are we all living the same life? I was so overwhelmed today I couldn't pick which thing to do. So I did nothing. I was on fire last night. I kept my eye on the prize and the laundry got done and I climbed all over my bed and put some new sheets on. I was feeding dogs and cats and letting animals in and out and cooking and cleaning. Maybe that's why I didn't want to do anything today. Have a foxtrot great day!!💜Carly
I ran into this problem about five years ago and it took like two years to realize what was happening which lead to an 18 month period of paralysis only doing what I absolutely had to do to get by and blocking all extra crap out completely. But my life has a lot of moving parts (married woman with two children in the home, country life all the way -so there's animals, other people, the real estate, plus regular a job (or two) outside of the home). looking around lately I been contemplating whether it's even possible for us to single handedly accomplish all of the things that we hope to accomplish with the amount of things we're carrying around on this "someday one of these days i'll get to that" list. I mean we progress - but it always feels like a step forward over here costs two steps back over there so there is a complex balancing act involved and It really wears me out trying to bounce back and forth between this and that and here and there all day long - day in and day out. My husband is a serious doer which helps with preventing everything from crashing to the ground all at once but it seems like he is more easily capable of just completely blocking out a ton of the little shit and that allows him to focus and prioritize big shit more easily.
Totally true. Once you get going with your chosen task, it usually doesn’t seem so bad. You can then ride the momentum from completing the first task and get a lot more done than you think. I find the trick is telling your brain, “it’s okay, just do this ONE thing.” Then at some point you look at other tasks and think, “might as well...” I love to make lists but sometimes that makes me scared to start- so I trick myself like this almost daily.
This was exactly my day today. There’s a million things to do spinning around in my head and then other stuff kept going wrong and further overwhelming me while also reminding me of everything I wasn’t getting done, and it culminated in me running into a friend and venting like a crazy person, and after that I walked outside and my mind went quite. I sort of just let everything go, out of a sense of defeat, and just walked around listening to the birds. But many days I can’t decide what to work on, so I end up reading some interesting article unrelated to anything instead. Really not a helpful behavior.
That is what has been happening to me. I am so bogged down with things I have to do at work (other things in life too). I am busy helping clients, and then I get behind in documenting all of the things that I am doing. I keep self defeating myself saying negative things like, "I can't catch up on all my documentation", then I don't do anything. I know it is a mind issue. I am trying to turn around my inner thoughts, but it has been hard to change and move forward. Things has never been this bad at work. A lot of people are leaving. I think it is my time to get another job too. Too much stress...
Paralysis by overwhelm is something I deal with a few times a week and I absolutely hate it. I've been struggling with this for over a year now and nothing seems to help. My therapist always tells me to prioritize one thing but it's obvious she doesn't understand although she is trying to help. Hearing it come from you motivated me, showing me it is possible to overcome this feeling by someone who knows how it feels! It also made me accept the fact that I simply, cannot do everything and I need to prioritize what will improve my quality of life. THANK YOU
Thank you so much. I feel so terrible about being "fuck up" by procrastination. I am working on one project but while working on it I had another idea and started on it and then I was like f.k, I need to finish this one in 14 days .... now this one I have to forget about because I am a walking project garden.
single mom no family, finally saved enough closed on house, work in sales/health care, passive aggressive remote micro manager, huge program nov 10 the president of company coming with me.. etc etc ..omg i feel paralyzed thank you for the video
Good job describing the mental dynamics of anxiety over tending to things that pile up. I'm in the throes of that right now. Listening to you, I feel less alone.
This is the only video, that have made me felt understood. Thank you. I finished one thing and said screw it to the others and actually managed to finish my job. My problem is so messed up that I can barely function at work. This helped. Now I just need to have you on playback in the bg to get everything done.
i'm supposed to write my wanting to go back to college essay, then i took 3-days off work, but of course im doing nothing, and i have only one day left, application is due next week, so i thought it's a good time finally to reply to my friend's text from 3 months ago, obviously she hates me for that now, so i went to get a burger and while waiting i promised im gonna write the points for that essay on my phone, then notification for your video came up, and walahhh!!!story of my lifeeeeeee!!!!!!and darn it, now i suddenly feel the urge to clean all the bedsheets! and we know now none of that gonna happen. Ok, so first things first, eat this burger eh? and next she has to change her name here on UA-cam because who know her friends are gonna read this one day and wonder "why did she choose to reply to that friend, and not mine because mine was a month ago!", then she has to fiddle with UA-cam, change her name here, which means changing everything on her Google Account which she hates to have to find out how to do that. Anyone friends, i love you all the same, in case you chance upon this comment one day.
This really happens a lot! I have lots of hobbies and things that I would like to do but then I have a hard time choosing what to do (in fact, I have a hard time choosing anything in life). I've interpreted this as me being afraid of spending a lot of time on something particular. "What if I don't do a good job and I just waste my time when there are so many other things to do, too, and then I feel sad because I've been unproductive." It's strange because if you don't choose anything you'll be the least productive :) As you said, it's a mind game. Great video, thanks FJ!
It’s all the indecision and self-doubt that makes it hard to pick one thing, and then to be so distracted by the guilt of not doing the other things. 😢
Wow! Thank you. You have no idea how helpful this simple bit of advice was to come across. I have felt impossibly stuck and frozen with a million and 1 things that I began avoiding almost everything. It spirals... But this is Exactly what I needed to hear. I have been overcomplicating the possible solution. Thanks for choosing to share on this topic. Much💓💯
I'm super burnt out and was basically stuck in freeze for the past two weeks, aka my whole vacation. I have work again tomorrow and I felt sick about it. Stumbled across this video and went "yup, let's let everything else burn to the ground" and then somehow sprung into action and hyper focused for 4 hours on applying for a new job. I feel SO MUCH better, I would've probably cried myself to sleep if not for this video. I really owe you omg
This is so true. It's been in my head, but it resonates more strongly hearing it from someone's mouth, so thank you, wise guru (and I agree with the commenter's sister that you are looking quite biblical)!
Oh my gosh this is so revealing to me! 🤣 I’ve slapped my self in the forehead a couple times. 🤦🏼♀️ This is cracking me up because it is so true! Just found out that I’m an INFJ tonight & stumbled across your channel. What a treasure trove! ❤️
I understand that the things he stated here are pretty much simple, but I actually am thankful this video exists. Needed someone to remind me of the simple things/solution that my overthinking mind keeps on blocking especially when I'm anxious.
Hi Frankie! This is really really good! I've now watched it three times, and the way you put it is very intelligent. Spot on; this is excactly how I feel nowadays: too many tasks and projects all at the same time, hard to get to do any of them as it becomes paralyzing to think of it all. I think your solution/conclusion is good, even though it's not easy, as you'd wanna prioritize everything, which is impossible. So the one bugging/bothering me the most (most urgent and with the worst consequences to postpone) is the one to start with. But if it's a boring task which is also time consuming, then - not easy. Thanks for making the video! I'll check out your channel. Cheers from Norway.
Just realised after watching this video that too many big and time consuming things happening at once is what stops me from even trying to start as my head is so cluttered. Thankyou!!! Great video and insight!!
I've been overwhelmed at work and found this on a search. I appreciate the insight from guys like GaryV, and Jocko Willink, but I really like this simple answer and way to look at the situation. In a proj. management seminar once, I heard the leader mention you have the task of building 10 bridges. 3 proj. managers have this same task. The takeaway was, if you can only get 1-3 bridges done within the time allotted, that's better than 10 bridges at 75%. Cuz you still have no functional bridges, so it's like nothing got done. Thanks for the simple viewpoint, was helpful...and the humor, also helpful!
I wish there was a way to LOVE this video! Most days I feel like I'm running in circles and by the end of the day I have gotten absolutely nothing done. Definitely distracted by too many choices! I keep forgetting that my day will go better if I plan it out ahead of time. Thanks for the reminder Frank!
I've been struggling with this ridiculously recently. I've just now been recommended this video by UA-cam despite not researching it at all or mentioning it to a single person.
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my UA-cam channel 6 months ago about self development. Now I have 354 subs and > 100 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I couldn’t have learned without getting started in the 1st place.
It happens when I'm a combination of physically tired and emotionally overwhelmed. Sometimes you just have to let your body do what it wants - which might be nothing - until you naturally overcome it.
as an infj (hypersensitive )i don"t know if all infjs are? Iknow exactly about feeling paralysis being overwelmed by too many things at the same time.Elaine Aaron says that when we make mistakes in that kind of period it's because of too much stimuli.I agree when i made decisions mistakes i felt that a 30 meters wave was crushing over me and taking me with it.so what i do know is i take care of the most important first but sometimes everythings is important like at the moment.I feel like running away from everything
I do understand...for me that usually comes from wanting to do everything perfect or not at all...and when there's to many things that needs to be done or that I want to do and there's not enough time to do each thing perfectly my mind starts spinning around for whatever reason and I crash into hopelessness 🙄
I am also HSP and can agree with how you feel. Especially bc I'm in a respected college and need to uphold standard- but that means everything has to be taken as important and I can't ever let things slide. Keeping me in a constant state of treading water until I get a weekend or vacation to prepare for the next week of exhaustion.
Lmao the squeaky toy on the other side of the room. 😂 This is a good video. I’m a big believer in motivation comes with motion. We often don’t feel like doing something until we start doing it and realize - ok this isn’t that bad. Know what you should do, and do that thing, even when it feels like death.
I used to suffer from this, somehow it just randomly stopped about a year and a half ago. Basically you just have to choose one thing, and accept whatever you chose is better than nothing and not doing any for fear of missing out makes no sense, as no matter what you do in life, you will miss out on something else, and thats ok.
NO WAY! I'm so thankful for this bloody video!!! Recently I was called into my teachers office as I just disappeared from class for a whole week! And it's exactly as you explained I just gave up and voluntarily drowned really. And I wanted to tell her look! I'm an INFJ still learning the ropes of life lol but I obviously couldn't for various reasons. How I innocently just clicked on this video whilst subconsciously looking for something, someone to give me some specific advice. Seriously FJ, you really helped me. Yr London Fan :)
I watched this vid 2 times this year hahaha. The 2nd time i'm like "wait, i watched this before????" I'm too stressed i didn't even remember i used to see this before hahaha thank you for showing me the light!!!!
Perfectly put into words,thank you chaotic thoughts for keeping me prisoned in inertia. -3 weeks and I'm still avoiding a certain task lol- P.S. self help ads? UA-cam's algorithm is concerned about me
I never had this issue before I started having health issues, and my exhaustion level rose to ridiculous levels. I now create a to-do list, get to the end, and go, "Whoo, that was hard... There's my one thing done for the day." I actually sat down at my computer this morning to do some research, and I had like 30 of your videos open from when I finally forced myself to go to bed at like 3 AM, and decided I needed to watch all these videos before I could go do that research... annnddddd here I am, at 4 PM... Still have like 7 videos to go. Telling myself I won't open more, because I have other shit to do. I might need someone to punch me in the face if I open another. I know you see all these notes popping up in your notifications, so if I comment on more than 7 more videos, just bitch slap me!! :)
Can I just say I often feel like your advice videos always come at the perfect time! It's like you're reading my mind, almost as if we take in the world in the same way. Hehe Thank you again!
Ive always been active and achieved many life projects through my life ..now 62 and half crippled from spinal cord damage. This focused approach is what do now to get the job done. Even if a 10 minute job when fit and healthy now takes me 1...2 hours...i don't care..as long as the job gets done in the end... Ive had a great life But this being crippled business is really testing a guy out ! Take care everyone ❤️
Frank, I have a question for you. Do you think INFJ is a sloth? I mean like when we do stuff, we doesn't realize we did it for hours. For example, we need to iron shirts to wear for tomorrow. It should take like 5 minutes or so. But, for me it take about 10 to 15 minutes. It probably because in the mean time, I think a lot of things.
Whenever I'm in these situations, I find it helps to write the tasks down, stuff is way less daunting on paper! And it feels so much more satisfying when you tick things off one by one, rather than juggling it all in your mind 😎
@@simple80ish I guess the first step is to figure out how to approach the task, that can be a tick box by itself. External dependence is tricky, still struggling with that one 😅 I guess just focus on what you do have control over?
Ahh thank you for this video, I've been thinking about this lately as this mental outlook is something I've been struggling with this semester of university and I've just now started working to fix it. Great video FJ 👍
I'm here because I'm currently: - moving flats - Doing top up study modules - Doing assignments - Doing a portfolio - Doing a practical project at work - Running a UA-cam channel that uploads weekly - Working Full Time It's a struggle. But yeah, I just need to pick something and do it. Great video :D
Oh yeah, that happens all the time. I can't do multiple tasks at the same time, so you have to schedule it later, it's so frustrating. But there must be another way to deal with it, maybe more self-discipline is needed to achieve that mentality. I am shocked by how accurate your description is. Well done friend. Good luck dealing with overwhelm, and good luck completing your tasks.
I have so many important things to do that I dont wanna do anything. Its so frustrating. I know I can do them all but I don’t want to. Hopefully I do them all on time! Thanks for the video!! Your pep talk made me feel a little better!
![ПОЛНАЯ ИСТОРИЯ ЭКЗОРЦИЗМА [Топ Сикрет]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/qBySr6Bt0B8/mqdefault.jpg)
I had two naps today to avoid the anxiety about what needed to be done.
Wow, I am the very opposite..cannot relax if there are things to be done. If it's late and I must get to sleep, then getting everything out of my head by making a list at least helps stop the mind from spinning
YourWorstNitemare for some reason I can avoid things during the day by sleeping but if I have too many things overwhelming me I can’t sleep at night. Generally this is only a problem when my anxiety is in overdrive though.
I know the feeling, and with age and time have learned from mistakes/the past. YOU have to turn it around and there's no magic to it other than work and will power. No one's gonna do the work for you. The biggest and perhaps hardest thing you need to do is change your sleeping pattern-force yourself to get up early and get into a routine. Make lists to get all your to-dos out of your head, then tackle one thing at a time. I always like to start with what's quickest and easiest so I can start knocking things off the list, unless there's something urgent and involved that demands my attention, but those little wins are powerful and will motivate you to keep going. Remind yourself of the great feeling of having getting whatever it is done-that feeling of accomplishment and freedom. Throw in some exercise, and you will start sleeping like a baby.
same@@andraste6746
When I first started learning about MBTI, I learned that certain personality types needed a lot of sleep. I was suprised to learn this. More so that INFJ's need it more so for this very reason: being overwhelmed by tasks mostly.
Ha! This happens to me all the time, coupled together with fear of failure, so I don’t actually start doing anything that I need to do because I’m just like “Welp, I’ll fail at it anyway so why bother!” and then I slowly watch everything crash and burn to then reaffirm the fact that I suck at things anyways! What a mess, honestly
Ikr! Overthink in seconds! All of it plays out in your head. So its like Nope. F- that! I choose what I want which is currently nothing since it won't work anyway.. Lol Yeah. ⚠🚨😂
Same. If something is not going to be perfect I want to give up, if I know I should not give up my anxiety shows up and I start having panic attacks until I give up
Don't be afraid of failure. I was too when I was younger. That's NOT a good thing, to not pursue because of failure. I have learned, pursue ALL your goals and dreams. Even if just for two hours a day. The more experience you get, the better you will do. Never, ever give up! I wish I had pursued my dreams more.
This is so me but still regret in the end of the day:(
It's about mind control. He is right. Pick one thing.
life is squeezing multiple squeaky toys and i am an overwhelmed dachshund
Yessssss!!!!!
This is 100% what I GO THROUGH-
THANK YOU !!! I feel seen. A lot of people don’t understand how it feels to just be frozen by fear of everything because it’s so overwhelming.
yup, this is my life! every single day. the only thing that seems to help, as you said, is to just do one thing (put that snorkel on and dive in) because not only does that get one thing accomplished, the thrill of getting something done provides enough energy to conquer the next task.
The fact that this video is an escape for me in this situation rn. I'm literally overwhelmed by so many things I could use my time on to unleash my potential but I can't cuz I'm scared I'll mess it up and let's just not do it anyways so I came to watch videos on how not to do it by doing it. Crap.
So well said - i never thought about it in this way before. To be willing to let everything else burn to the ground (even though it won't) while you focus on one task is extremely hard for me, because it literally feels like eveyrthing else will burn to the ground. I feel like i catastrophize everything in my head all the time while most people are able to just close out what's not currently important and not panic about it.
Story of my before, current and probably afterlife.
Belle Fiori I hear ya
Wait until you buy a house. Literally a never-ending list of tedious jobs which makes you want to sit and cry while the building slowly crumbles around you. Or move out. Whichever happens first.
K L These are facts. Add to that, realizing that I own a home and have realized a major life goal, and can’t stop complaining about it. 😣
Currently experiencing this now. We get our keys in two weeks. Husband works full time, 3 teenage daughters, 3 different schools, I'm a stay at home mom, I'm packing, and worrying, alone 7 hours a day. Shit. The StRess. My body has literally been vibrating since we decided on the house 3 weeks ago!!! I just want to get in the house before I die!. Lol Sorry. Too many words, so many emotions. So overwhelmed I just have to sit for fear of a heart attack. Where is the pause button. Crap, frozen pizza tonight kids. Mom's stuck.
How's the renting life treating you now? :)
That's not quite the same thing. But that certainly doesn't help
Or you can focus on the positive fact that you are a homeowner and make the most of it. Many people cannot afford houses these days, so it’s somewhat inconsiderate to complain about it.
I trick my Brain when I feel overwhelmed and start procrastinating: i cut my task into pièces and tell myself i'll only work on it for 10mins but then I get into a productive mood and keep going. I can also make a list of the task that can be done in 2minutes, put on some music and really try to stop thinking and just do it. Méditation before that helps clear your mind.
Khutija.C Good advice!
LMAO! I do this as well! If my To Do List just isn't cutting it that day, it's time to spin myself a lie.. Also I would like to add that I find it rather amusing that we can so easily trick our infj minds, but like hell if someone outside ourselves is gonna pull one over on us! We didn't just see u coming miles away, we seen the thought enter ur mind a week ago while we were eating popcorn & watching a movie at ur place!😜😜
Yes. Just do one thing.Then, another will often get done. Good advice, I agree, based on my experience.
Thanks going to try this!
FJ, I totally get it! It's like extreme overwhelm and then inertia/do nothing mode. Add in the unhelpful coping methods and it's a painful recipe for disaster. Mindfulness is probably the key.
I'm paralyzed because I'm overwhelmed and i decided to watch your UA-cam videos instead. Thank you for this, now I'm on my way to study cause that's what i should have been doing all this time.
It's when ur extremely invested in the outcome of the task that you're afraid to even start because u want to have the perfect idea, the perfect execution of said idea and want to give it your undivided attention but there are so many things u want to give ur undivided attention to that you already feel like you won't do it justice so rather leave it for when you can give it the attention it needs.... Only, it never happens because of all this other stuff sitting on ur head. Yeah. Happens to me a lot and u only get more frustrated in the end because u realised u wasted a ton of time you could have used towards a particularly perfect idea to begin with.
I wonder if that has to do with the IxxJ control issues. 🤔
Sugar Shadi this is exactly what ADHD feels like
THIS THIS THIS
This actually made me feel so much better about my workload.
Short but sweet. Are we all living the same life? I was so overwhelmed today I couldn't pick which thing to do. So I did nothing. I was on fire last night. I kept my eye on the prize and the laundry got done and I climbed all over my bed and put some new sheets on. I was feeding dogs and cats and letting animals in and out and cooking and cleaning. Maybe that's why I didn't want to do anything today. Have a foxtrot great day!!💜Carly
I feel ya Sistahfriend!!!
I ran into this problem about five years ago and it took like two years to realize what was happening which lead to an 18 month period of paralysis only doing what I absolutely had to do to get by and blocking all extra crap out completely. But my life has a lot of moving parts (married woman with two children in the home, country life all the way -so there's animals, other people, the real estate, plus regular a job (or two) outside of the home). looking around lately I been contemplating whether it's even possible for us to single handedly accomplish all of the things that we hope to accomplish with the amount of things we're carrying around on this "someday one of these days i'll get to that" list. I mean we progress - but it always feels like a step forward over here costs two steps back over there so there is a complex balancing act involved and It really wears me out trying to bounce back and forth between this and that and here and there all day long - day in and day out. My husband is a serious doer which helps with preventing everything from crashing to the ground all at once but it seems like he is more easily capable of just completely blocking out a ton of the little shit and that allows him to focus and prioritize big shit more easily.
i spent 3 hours on youtube instead of facing the stuff i put down on my to do list.
i’ll try focusing one by one thank you.
Totally true. Once you get going with your chosen task, it usually doesn’t seem so bad. You can then ride the momentum from completing the first task and get a lot more done than you think. I find the trick is telling your brain, “it’s okay, just do this ONE thing.” Then at some point you look at other tasks and think, “might as well...” I love to make lists but sometimes that makes me scared to start- so I trick myself like this almost daily.
This was exactly my day today. There’s a million things to do spinning around in my head and then other stuff kept going wrong and further overwhelming me while also reminding me of everything I wasn’t getting done, and it culminated in me running into a friend and venting like a crazy person, and after that I walked outside and my mind went quite. I sort of just let everything go, out of a sense of defeat, and just walked around listening to the birds. But many days I can’t decide what to work on, so I end up reading some interesting article unrelated to anything instead. Really not a helpful behavior.
That is what has been happening to me. I am so bogged down with things I have to do at work (other things in life too). I am busy helping clients, and then I get behind in documenting all of the things that I am doing. I keep self defeating myself saying negative things like, "I can't catch up on all my documentation", then I don't do anything. I know it is a mind issue. I am trying to turn around my inner thoughts, but it has been hard to change and move forward. Things has never been this bad at work. A lot of people are leaving. I think it is my time to get another job too. Too much stress...
Paralysis by overwhelm is something I deal with a few times a week and I absolutely hate it. I've been struggling with this for over a year now and nothing seems to help. My therapist always tells me to prioritize one thing but it's obvious she doesn't understand although she is trying to help. Hearing it come from you motivated me, showing me it is possible to overcome this feeling by someone who knows how it feels! It also made me accept the fact that I simply, cannot do everything and I need to prioritize what will improve my quality of life. THANK YOU
Thank you so much. I feel so terrible about being "fuck up" by procrastination. I am working on one project but while working on it I had another idea and started on it and then I was like f.k, I need to finish this one in 14 days .... now this one I have to forget about because I am a walking project garden.
Mannnnnnnn the accuracy - I've never heard it articulated like this before, something has clicked - THANK YOU!!
I HAVE NEVER FOUND A VIDEO AND ITS TITLE SO RELATABLE TO MY SITUATION. Thanks Mr. James.
single mom no family, finally saved enough closed on house, work in sales/health care, passive aggressive remote micro manager, huge program nov 10 the president of company coming with me.. etc etc ..omg i feel paralyzed thank you for the video
I almost want to cry because of how helpful this video felt... I hope this helps me out when put into action thank you man❤️
Good job describing the mental dynamics of anxiety over tending to things that pile up. I'm in the throes of that right now. Listening to you, I feel less alone.
This is the only video, that have made me felt understood. Thank you. I finished one thing and said screw it to the others and actually managed to finish my job.
My problem is so messed up that I can barely function at work. This helped. Now I just need to have you on playback in the bg to get everything done.
I love how he includes his personal frustration and he rants and at the same time he is giving us and himself advice.
I am so grateful I found these videos. Thank you so much, Frank. You are truly a beautiful person.
That other day I came back after a long day, but I forgot i still had places to be.
So i just sleep
i'm supposed to write my wanting to go back to college essay, then i took 3-days off work, but of course im doing nothing, and i have only one day left, application is due next week, so i thought it's a good time finally to reply to my friend's text from 3 months ago, obviously she hates me for that now, so i went to get a burger and while waiting i promised im gonna write the points for that essay on my phone, then notification for your video came up, and walahhh!!!story of my lifeeeeeee!!!!!!and darn it, now i suddenly feel the urge to clean all the bedsheets! and we know now none of that gonna happen. Ok, so first things first, eat this burger eh? and next she has to change her name here on UA-cam because who know her friends are gonna read this one day and wonder "why did she choose to reply to that friend, and not mine because mine was a month ago!", then she has to fiddle with UA-cam, change her name here, which means changing everything on her Google Account which she hates to have to find out how to do that. Anyone friends, i love you all the same, in case you chance upon this comment one day.
This really happens a lot! I have lots of hobbies and things that I would like to do but then I have a hard time choosing what to do (in fact, I have a hard time choosing anything in life). I've interpreted this as me being afraid of spending a lot of time on something particular. "What if I don't do a good job and I just waste my time when there are so many other things to do, too, and then I feel sad because I've been unproductive." It's strange because if you don't choose anything you'll be the least productive :) As you said, it's a mind game. Great video, thanks FJ!
It’s all the indecision and self-doubt that makes it hard to pick one thing, and then to be so distracted by the guilt of not doing the other things. 😢
Wow! Thank you. You have no idea how helpful this simple bit of advice was to come across. I have felt impossibly stuck and frozen with a million and 1 things that I began avoiding almost everything. It spirals... But this is Exactly what I needed to hear. I have been overcomplicating the possible solution. Thanks for choosing to share on this topic. Much💓💯
I needed help with this problem exactly, you never let me down. It’s good to feel understood
Wow. This was for me. If I have a bunch of things to do...I get overwhelmed and have a panic attack....(sometimes)
I'm super burnt out and was basically stuck in freeze for the past two weeks, aka my whole vacation. I have work again tomorrow and I felt sick about it. Stumbled across this video and went "yup, let's let everything else burn to the ground" and then somehow sprung into action and hyper focused for 4 hours on applying for a new job. I feel SO MUCH better, I would've probably cried myself to sleep if not for this video. I really owe you omg
This is so true. It's been in my head, but it resonates more strongly hearing it from someone's mouth, so thank you, wise guru (and I agree with the commenter's sister that you are looking quite biblical)!
Oh my gosh this is so revealing to me! 🤣 I’ve slapped my self in the forehead a couple times. 🤦🏼♀️ This is cracking me up because it is so true! Just found out that I’m an INFJ tonight & stumbled across your channel. What a treasure trove! ❤️
I understand that the things he stated here are pretty much simple, but I actually am thankful this video exists. Needed someone to remind me of the simple things/solution that my overthinking mind keeps on blocking especially when I'm anxious.
Hi Frankie!
This is really really good! I've now watched it three times, and the way you put it is very intelligent. Spot on; this is excactly how I feel nowadays: too many tasks and projects all at the same time, hard to get to do any of them as it becomes paralyzing to think of it all. I think your solution/conclusion is good, even though it's not easy, as you'd wanna prioritize everything, which is impossible. So the one bugging/bothering me the most (most urgent and with the worst consequences to postpone) is the one to start with. But if it's a boring task which is also time consuming, then - not easy. Thanks for making the video! I'll check out your channel. Cheers from Norway.
Just realised after watching this video that too many big and time consuming things happening at once is what stops me from even trying to start as my head is so cluttered. Thankyou!!! Great video and insight!!
I've been overwhelmed at work and found this on a search. I appreciate the insight from guys like GaryV, and Jocko Willink, but I really like this simple answer and way to look at the situation. In a proj. management seminar once, I heard the leader mention you have the task of building 10 bridges. 3 proj. managers have this same task. The takeaway was, if you can only get 1-3 bridges done within the time allotted, that's better than 10 bridges at 75%. Cuz you still have no functional bridges, so it's like nothing got done. Thanks for the simple viewpoint, was helpful...and the humor, also helpful!
Your videos are so refreshing.
I wish there was a way to LOVE this video! Most days I feel like I'm running in circles and by the end of the day I have gotten absolutely nothing done. Definitely distracted by too many choices! I keep forgetting that my day will go better if I plan it out ahead of time. Thanks for the reminder Frank!
I've been struggling with this ridiculously recently. I've just now been recommended this video by UA-cam despite not researching it at all or mentioning it to a single person.
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my UA-cam channel 6 months ago about self development. Now I have 354 subs and > 100 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I couldn’t have learned without getting started in the 1st place.
THANK. YOU. NEEDED. THIS. I. FEEL. SO. UNDERSTOOD.
It happens when I'm a combination of physically tired and emotionally overwhelmed. Sometimes you just have to let your body do what it wants - which might be nothing - until you naturally overcome it.
as an infj (hypersensitive )i don"t know if all infjs are? Iknow exactly about feeling paralysis being overwelmed by too many things at the same time.Elaine Aaron says that when we make mistakes in that kind of period it's because of too much stimuli.I agree when i made decisions mistakes i felt that a 30 meters wave was crushing over me and taking me with it.so what i do know is i take care of the most important first but sometimes everythings is important like at the moment.I feel like running away from everything
I do understand...for me that usually comes from wanting to do everything perfect or not at all...and when there's to many things that needs to be done or that I want to do and there's not enough time to do each thing perfectly my mind starts spinning around for whatever reason and I crash into hopelessness 🙄
I am also HSP and can agree with how you feel. Especially bc I'm in a respected college and need to uphold standard- but that means everything has to be taken as important and I can't ever let things slide. Keeping me in a constant state of treading water until I get a weekend or vacation to prepare for the next week of exhaustion.
What is an infj?
Profound and timely. Thank you 🙏
Lmao the squeaky toy on the other side of the room. 😂
This is a good video. I’m a big believer in motivation comes with motion. We often don’t feel like doing something until we start doing it and realize - ok this isn’t that bad. Know what you should do, and do that thing, even when it feels like death.
Good advice thank you
Hello, 911? I'd like to report that I have a stalker. There's this UA-camr who seems to have a direct window into my mind.
...hello?
Laura Hogg calling 911 would have been on my list for like 2 weeks because of exactly this.
I love that you are David from the Bible! That child just restored my faith in the name David.
Wow this is exactly how I’ve been feeling for almost a whole year now. Thanks for the advice. I think I’ll try it...
I used to suffer from this, somehow it just randomly stopped about a year and a half ago. Basically you just have to choose one thing, and accept whatever you chose is better than nothing and not doing any for fear of missing out makes no sense, as no matter what you do in life, you will miss out on something else, and thats ok.
Thank you. This is exactly what I needed to hear
I found this video at the perfect time, thank you so much for your advice.
NO WAY! I'm so thankful for this bloody video!!! Recently I was called into my teachers office as I just disappeared from class for a whole week! And it's exactly as you explained I just gave up and voluntarily drowned really. And I wanted to tell her look! I'm an INFJ still learning the ropes of life lol but I obviously couldn't for various reasons.
How I innocently just clicked on this video whilst subconsciously looking for something, someone to give me some specific advice. Seriously FJ, you really helped me.
Yr London Fan :)
I watched this vid 2 times this year hahaha. The 2nd time i'm like "wait, i watched this before????" I'm too stressed i didn't even remember i used to see this before hahaha thank you for showing me the light!!!!
This has been a challenge all of my life
Super straightforward and nice humor !
Your chanel gives sooo many answers. Thank you
Perfectly put into words,thank you chaotic thoughts for keeping me prisoned in inertia. -3 weeks and I'm still avoiding a certain task lol- P.S. self help ads? UA-cam's algorithm is concerned about me
Omg. I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing
Love your title! 😹
Your opening is spot on for me right now!
Your videos are very comforting- the plaid jacket shirt and beard add extra comfortness
Thank you for sharing your perspective
I never had this issue before I started having health issues, and my exhaustion level rose to ridiculous levels. I now create a to-do list, get to the end, and go, "Whoo, that was hard... There's my one thing done for the day." I actually sat down at my computer this morning to do some research, and I had like 30 of your videos open from when I finally forced myself to go to bed at like 3 AM, and decided I needed to watch all these videos before I could go do that research... annnddddd here I am, at 4 PM... Still have like 7 videos to go. Telling myself I won't open more, because I have other shit to do. I might need someone to punch me in the face if I open another. I know you see all these notes popping up in your notifications, so if I comment on more than 7 more videos, just bitch slap me!! :)
Can I just say I often feel like your advice videos always come at the perfect time! It's like you're reading my mind, almost as if we take in the world in the same way. Hehe Thank you again!
Love ya Frank James! The truth is the light
After the first 10 seconds I saw everything I needed to see. Gave it a like immediately.
Ive always been active and achieved many life projects through my life ..now 62 and half crippled from spinal cord damage.
This focused approach is what do now to get the job done.
Even if a 10 minute job when fit and healthy now takes me 1...2 hours...i don't care..as long as the job gets done in the end...
Ive had a great life
But this being crippled business is really testing a guy out !
Take care everyone ❤️
Frank, I have a question for you. Do you think INFJ is a sloth? I mean like when we do stuff, we doesn't realize we did it for hours. For example, we need to iron shirts to wear for tomorrow. It should take like 5 minutes or so. But, for me it take about 10 to 15 minutes. It probably because in the mean time, I think a lot of things.
The thumbnail is the definition of my existence 😖😂....thanks for video
Whenever I'm in these situations, I find it helps to write the tasks down, stuff is way less daunting on paper! And it feels so much more satisfying when you tick things off one by one, rather than juggling it all in your mind 😎
What about if you dont know to approach the task and there is dependency on external people
@@simple80ish I guess the first step is to figure out how to approach the task, that can be a tick box by itself. External dependence is tricky, still struggling with that one 😅 I guess just focus on what you do have control over?
WAW thank you for this. Gosh been feeling like this throughout quarantine.
Thank you, I really needed this video today
I needed to hear this ! Thank You 😊
Frankly, an awesome video!
Most helpful video on the Internet (about this topic, that I've found personally, but STILL)
Needed this. Thanks. Critical is having a non-elaborate method of snapping out of it. Like the totems in Inception.
Thank you.
You helped me.
I was SO Stuck!
Ahh thank you for this video, I've been thinking about this lately as this mental outlook is something I've been struggling with this semester of university and I've just now started working to fix it. Great video FJ 👍
This just made my whole life better. Thank you🙏🤣
"Frisky Pony Board" ha ha you crack me up.
Thanks for the pep talk homeboy. Tackled a few things this morning and I'm already exhausted. Fixing breakfast now to power up.
I'm here because I'm currently:
- moving flats
- Doing top up study modules
- Doing assignments
- Doing a portfolio
- Doing a practical project at work
- Running a UA-cam channel that uploads weekly
- Working Full Time
It's a struggle. But yeah, I just need to pick something and do it. Great video :D
This was surprisingly helpful.
Needed this today. I've been stuck for a few days.
Oh yeah, that happens all the time. I can't do multiple tasks at the same time, so you have to schedule it later, it's so frustrating. But there must be another way to deal with it, maybe more self-discipline is needed to achieve that mentality. I am shocked by how accurate your description is. Well done friend. Good luck dealing with overwhelm, and good luck completing your tasks.
YES. I've learned to make a list, then prioritize that list, then take it 1 thing at a time. But do plan down-time, too.
Thank you SO MUCH for making this 🙏😭
So spot on! Up in flames...thx Frank!
Thank you for this video FJ. I liked this video based on the title and thumbnail because it is so true.
Thanks I really needed this
I have so many important things to do that I dont wanna do anything. Its so frustrating. I know I can do them all but I don’t want to. Hopefully I do them all on time! Thanks for the video!! Your pep talk made me feel a little better!
You have definitely spent a day in my head 😊
Thank you I needed this