How No Contact Heals You
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- Опубліковано 12 жов 2023
- I offer personal counseling with a scheduled appointment or on an "emergency" basis.
For my help, please contact me: fennavdberg@hotmail.com
Hello there!
My name is Fenna van den Berg, I am a certified coach and counselor. I have worked in the mental health field for over 25 years.
Having been through episodes of Limerence, I have "earned my stripes" to help others with their recovery. I understand the obsession and suffering of Limerence. My passion is being able to share with you, and all limerents, a guided-way forward on your journey of healing. We do this through discovering and practicing self-love and compassion. As someone who has suffered through limerence, I have developed effective coaching for people with limerence. My Coaching has helped countless have a more purposeful life, and I want to help you. We will work together, so that you may have a life more in line with your values and integrity.
Together, we are blossoming a community of friendly people with the same debilitating feelings and experiences of Limerence. Here, we share with, support, and nurture each other in giving love to ourselves, perhaps for the first time.
When you’re ready to end your pain and suffering from seeking the "Other," I’m here to guide you in recognizing your true lovable self, with compassionate teaching, counseling and also private coaching.
For my help, please contact me: fennavdberg@hotmail.com
My editor is the best!! : Heymel Visual
Graphics: Studio Ilse van Klei ilsevanklei.nl/I offer personal counseling with a scheduled appointment or on an "emergency" basis.
For my help, please contact me: fennavdberg@hotmail.com
www.youtube.com/@followingfenna/community
It is the hardest thing I have ever done, but Im doing it, for the long term happiness.
Hello Fenna. I used to watch you often when I was in the depths of limerence. I want to make this comment to give hope to anyone out there who is in pain. I have no limerence at all anymore. I have let go of my LO. I rarely think of him. I could not imagine getting to this place. I battled my limerence for 2.5 years. To anyone out there still struggling, keep going. Looking back, no contact was the best thing for me. This person was not meant to be in my life and could not love me. I never seek out his social media. I do not wonder about him. I feel no connection to him at all. I've also become involved with other men, and my limerent experience helped me spot red flags, like breadcrumbing, avoidance, inconsistency, and hot/cold behavior. I was able to get out of those situations, though they were still painful. I am now working on healing my abandonment wounds and doing inner child work. I just wanted to share an update and let others know that healing is possible, though it might be messy and certainly will not be linear. Do not give up on yourself.
I could not block or unfriend my LO because he is so kind and is still very friendly to me. So I deleted all my social media profiles. And it's a big big help. It's been over a week now and my anxiety dropped to zero level. I only fear meeting him outside as we live close to each other. But we never bumped into each other except for a few times so I am safe for now. Let's all keep healing, lovelies.
The hardest part (for me) is not the no contact, even if i hope he‘ll come back and want me, i stay strong and disappeared like a ghost to him since one year. The hardest thing to do to me is to unlove and forget about him. The limmerence kicks in because i still believe that he was the best and most beautiful partner i‘ve ever had. I put them on a way to high podestal and i‘m fighting with that every day because i went from being adored to ignored. The relation ship wasn‘t toxic or unhealthy in a way, that‘s why i‘m always thinking i‘ve had to be wrong or not good enough.
No contact for 15 months now, but nothing has changed for me. Still very limerent.. I am happy with my family, but this woman is still in my head. Every day 😢
This whole NC thing can also get in the way of the Universe and the energies of putting you back together. If there is true love and you both miss each other, then talk. Forget the power, just feel. Go with the energy, keep it respectful, don't allow to be used, but also don't allow NC too much power in itself, you might lose your forever because you are not communicating.
I'm so glad i found your page. Your video on Limerence "Not your person" and this No contact video have really helped me understand this illusion of love i have been in for almost 10 years. It really has been a sort of prison. Missed out on alot chasing and waiting on someone who only existed in my mind. Crazy how the first few years seemed so amazing. So much that it kept me stuck in the cycle for several more waiting for things to go back the way they once were. When all that's left is a memory, no matter how much you love it, it can't love you back.
Wow, so on point! But my relationship cost me my life savings and my mental health. I am near suicidal and over $200k in debt because of her !! 😮😢
My LO works on the same floor, interacts with me on a working basis and also lives around the corner from me and I bump into her at the local shops. I can only manage some non contact. The only real way would be to include her in the knowledge that I am obsessing over her and maybe then she would also avoid me.I’m 64 years old, married for 35 years and the Lo is a 32 year old Muslim woman. So, I can’t just change jobs at my age. The LO is not interested in my (I’m not that delusional) and I don’t want a romantic relationship. She’s always top of my mind and I get anxious when she does’t reply to my messages quickly. I often feel sick inside Day and night. I want to break this cycle.
So what science can't explain is that love is like the lungfish lol that goes dormant as though it's dead for as long as it takes until the rains return & refill the lakes. Then it wakes up & lives again. Like your computer when it goes to sleep--it's still all there, my friends. Do not be fooled. The amount of time that passes, unfortunately, doesn't matter. Your love remains & will resume in all its fullness when u lay eyes again on your LO ♥️ Fenna & thank you always, but this is real life, not the textbook that states only half of the equation.
"We want to be with them, but we don't want to be with them, but we want to be with them."
Took me 20 years to really let go but in large part that was bc we continued to have contact. That was a massive mistake. Finally, after a year of no contact, I am now feeling better.
Absolutely true. From my experience. Really angry I had this experience and stopped it again before it became another. Like I am some monster. I am nice kind person, but this experience is mystery, both for men and women.
Thank you Fenna, this video has really opened my eyes to what I'm going through. My LO abruptly ended a 3 year affair and my god the emotional fall for me was hard 😅. 5 months no contact and I'm starting to get my old self back. Slowly but surely.
Your videos are truly excellent. My withdrawal from the LO is taking a long time, and I won't be surprised if it takes months or years to feel my best. I really appreciate that you address neuroplasticity and neuromodulators. The science helps me cope with how I'm feeling emotionally. Really excellent content. Thank you from Croatia.
This information is so helpful and makes total sense to me! I have not spoken with my LO in over six months and I notice how my thoughts are changing and I’m in less pain than I was. Perhaps six months ago, I thought I was out of the woods, but, it turned out to be wishful thinking. I briefly interacted with him one day and was plunged back into misery. As with any addiction, we are susceptible to relapse, I guess. There’s just something about him that I can’t explain. 🤷♀️
You are wonderful, thank you for sharing this. It describes perfectly what I’ve been going through, and it hurts like hell. The intermittent contact causes a trauma bond which is where the limerence came from in my case. If the LO is a neurotypical/emotionally healthy person, they will understand and want to help with undoing the bond. In my case the LO is a narcissist, which means I’ve felt completely alone in all of this, and it’s done a lot of damage.
i‘ve been limerent for this person for 12 years now, always on-off NC. currently 11 months no contact. i‘m in a very happy relationship with the man of my dreams, but i still have absurdly instense LE. sometimes i’m happy so be free, but then another LE comes along.. currently in one and it‘s killing me. it‘s not even that i want anything romantic, i just want a friendship, be in eachothers lives, to be able to be in contact in a normal way, and not like falling into a vicious addiction spiral… i feel so bad for having these feelings and i am so close to ending NC and try to be friends. but i‘m scared af and i would never want to hurt my SO!
I’m trying extremely hard to do this. My situation involves work and all of the trappings of having to stay professional while going through this. My LO and I have a shared experience that brought us together that was a stressful event. This has been one of the worst periods in my life.