It’s already 2024 and people still talking about this topic? I personally know 2 married men who have quit their corporate jobs for freelance jobs to take care of the kids. Another 2 are day traders and one of them has a wife who is in top management in a local bank. Their wives have no problem with their husbands earning less or not having a stable job. Women keep talking about gender equality so men should only choose partners who walk the talk. Also if you have to think and calculate who should be paying for daily expenses like food and utilities, then you really have no financial means to get married yet.
Exactly, many woman claim to be successful and independent yet still expect the guy to pay more and treat them to good stuff regardless of whether the girl or guy earns more.
A relationship shouldn’t not be build based on financial decisions. It will never be a balanced and healthy relationship. Imagine if one who earned more, suddenly earn much lesser (regardless if is a lady or guy). A relationship should be build on commitment, communication, trust. Yes, being stable financially is a need as both couples are building for the future. Doesn’t matter who earns more or less.
I think i said this in another video discussing this but I really disagree with her use of words. By using "Dating Down", you imply that his character, looks, family background is not as good as yours, not just his finances. But in her case, it was not true since he was clearly a loving boyfriend who had drive to better himself and he didn't look too bad etc. There was no reason to use such a negative phrase to put him down (even if he didn't mind [so he says]), there were clearly better words to use that could have gotten the point across just as well.
Then I guess staying single is the best solution. Save tons of money, can do things as u please, no restrictions or monetary burden (e.g., child expenses, wife expenses, household expenses). U will even be in the best of health cuz no stress mah. The only drawback is no sex lor. But then again, if u got money, can always pay for good sex.
I'm dating a guy who earns less than 20% of what I do, I love him with all my heart and I hope we're together forever, I'm okay with if I always earn more than him. Asking him out last year was the best decision I ever made. The amazing conversations we have, the fun date nights, the weird things we have in common, you can't put a price tag on it. I'm also thankful that he's okay with me earning a lot more than he does.
The truth is, it's rare for a woman to accept dating someone with lower earning power, even if the guy is earning a comfortable income, covering most expenses, and has a good amount of savings. My advice is not to focus solely on financial compatibility. Instead, seek someone who shares your values and mindset in life. Also, please avoid projecting your expectations or goals onto your partner.
The concept of dating downwards comes from the word 下嫁 = female marrying a guy with less financial & / background status/power. Bc traditionally there is a mindset that females must marry a guy richer & smarter as guys are the main provider of the family. Cannot 'downgrade'
This concept of women preferring to marrying "up" can be seen in the Singapore population census. The highest proportion of unmarried males is from the group with lower than secondary education. Conversely, the highest proportion of unmarried women have tertiary education. In the past, the Chinese are very particular about class differences and emphasized on the importance of 门当户对. This is probably less of a problem in Singapore since most of us are largely middle class - with more than 75% staying in public housing. Instead of focusing on salary differences, I feel that having similar attitude towards money is more important for couples. I have 2 friends who enjoy travelling but we can never have them travelling in the same group because their attitude towards spending money is very different. The penny-pinching one must cover every square inch of each place we visit to maximise his money's worth and only wants to stay in budget hotels because to him its just a place to sleep for the night. The other friend believes that when on holiday he must take his time to enjoy the places he visits, never mind if he cannot cover alot of ground and he would only stay in the nicest hotels. His mantra is if he needs to be budget-conscious then he would rather just remain in sg because the trip is meant to be an enjoyment. They are both in IT industry and in the same payscale. So it really is not how much you earn but what is your view and attitude towards money, which I guess can sometimes boil down to upbringing and family background
Thank you for sharing these experiences so vastly different from mine. I feel like I'm in a better position to guide my kids. The way I do it with my wife is we have a joint account. All the money goes there and we both have full access to it. The reason we never had problems is because we both spend way below our means.
I earn about 1/5 more than my partner, and every month when we contribute to our joint account savings or pay down our HDB loan, we just contribute in respective ratio. I find this better than going completely dutch when one earns more than the other
Find a financially compatible partner. Imagine you like to enjoy the fine restaurant or expensive travels because you can afford it but now you have to adjust that to “settle”. Depends on ur life priority Ladies, never think that if you date down; it’s because of true love. If in the future you have money incompatibility and even worst he cheats, you can’t blame anyone for that. Choose love, but money is relatively important too.
Hello! I find the part where y’all had differing opinions in whether lying to your partner is okay or not interesting and am currently facing similar issue. Could yall have a podcast about that? Also about what if your partner doesn’t see holding back the truth about something as not a lie but to you it is(?)
I think every Couple Relationships revolves around 3 factors. Only 1 factor is most dominant in the relationship, its what keeps it alive and thriving. *FACTORS* 1) Money 2) Sex 3) Love 1) If your relationship revolves around MONEY than you better make sure you have it if not your partner will break up with you. 2) If your relationship revolves around SEX than you better make sure you are fulfilling all your partner's bedroom desires if not he or she will leave you for someone else. 3) If your relationship revolves around LOVE, oh are you blessed my friend. HIGH or LOW you want to be with the same person because of LOVE. Money can wait, sex can wait, but LOVE cannot. So always choose love. Even if the current relationship isn't loving the universe will send you the right one, because you are loving. You are always attracting that which you are, nothing more. I think its way better to be single and relax while being a loving person, the universe will send you exactly what you want. But if you keep rushing into relationships one after another, maybe there is no one right for you. *Godspeed everyone, LOVE always! :)* *Edit* - Spacings
Hi Daily Ketchup - can you consider doing an episode on this recent article / survey that mothership posted about "57% of S'porean men think women's equality has gone so far as to discriminate against men: Ipsos survey" ?
Married couple that has married more than 10 years (especially those with kids), will start to see how "bread" prioritise "love". Many rs are died prematurely as a result of it.
Given a choice, women will always never choose to date down. Hypergamy is always in women’s nature. Women will always desire a man who is taller, more successful, richer, more confident than themselves.
The irony of the idea "dating downwards" isn't devaluing men, it's actually in fact devaluing the woman herself. If a man's worth is all about how much he can earn more than the woman, then what's the value of the woman in subject? If such valuation matters, that means even an uneducated sex worker is worth more if she gets a richer husband than a career woman. Finances is something that is shared between two people. If one of them, be it male or female, places expectations on the other when it comes to shouldering such finances(be it one shouldering it all or expecting one side to shoulder more), the relationship will never work out. If you're a high earning career woman whom believes in valuing men over how much more he earns than you, trust me lady, you'll spend the rest of your life alone, wasting money on host clubs to satisfy that companionship. You are never worth any penny of affection by men. But with that said, ladies needs to understand it's a whole different story if the guy is known to be a lazy bum.
It’s sad we are even talking about it to begin with. There’s no real love anymore. I hv come across a wife left her husband bcos he is the problem why they can’t conceive. There is no true love anymore. Sg is about transaction
Heard or read the famous news of one Japan Princess who become a commoner, after getting married to her husband, who comes from a commoner family? Or daughters of a President, a Prime Minister, a Minister, a Senator etc who married a commoner and even changed her Citizenship to live overseas with her new family?
Hmm..she may earn more but she knows he works hard and he plan to increase his earnings in the future and he works hard. So she as a girl still may want a provider and someone who pay for her. Like she earns more, but he is the still the one who pays, so what's the difference? In fact why doesn't she pay her share even though she earns more? A girl who date someone richer than her and he guy pay most of the time. A girl who date someone poorer than her and the guy still pay most of the time. These two girls are the same, they still value the financial benefits the guy give them. I think the girls who earns more is more of a "gold digger" in a sense. Well, she technically is not since she doesn't need the money but why should the guy pay for her and make her feel good. Does she love the guy or does she just want to be pampered? It makes me feel like this girl is a selfish lover. She still wants a provider. It's not who earns more, it's who PAY more. If a girl is rich but don't pay there is no difference between her and a jobless girl. The question is, if the guy is poorer and choice of career is something that makes him happy but doesn't progress much, is the girl comfortable with paying for most of the financial aspect of the relationship since she earns more? If the guy never manage to earn more than the girl, will the girl mind?
To the Dailyketchup team, I really love watching your podcast and absolutely respect you guys for always exploring real topics that may not be the easiest to discuss. However recently (or i honestly can’t remember since when) the mic frequencies especially for dan’s one has been triggering my eardrums. Its like a sharp buzzing sound ??? Idk the about all the sound technical stuff but it just saddens me that I can’t enjoy your videos properly :( So wondering if you could adjust something in the mic?? ** is anyone experiencing this too? If not then i guess it could just be my own device’s problem haha
I suppose what Dan is using the same analogy with a curtain old woman in some old book that offer all her 20 bucks to a curtain organisation comparing to a tax payer that can afford x100 of her. Or something. But I do get all of Dan's points. In a way. Some how.
i will never date down. from experience, the boy expect me to pay for everything because im older and working (i was 22) while he was still studying.. and demand money from me every week like $100s and pushing the amt more every week. ofc i left that useless shit.
16:26 flip the scenario around and it will be the guy pampering his girlfriend. so in this time and era, girls cannot pamper guys? so it mus always be a case where the guy needs to be "educated" and the girl is pampered? come on laaa... double standard jus say so...
It’s already 2024 and people still talking about this topic? I personally know 2 married men who have quit their corporate jobs for freelance jobs to take care of the kids. Another 2 are day traders and one of them has a wife who is in top management in a local bank. Their wives have no problem with their husbands earning less or not having a stable job. Women keep talking about gender equality so men should only choose partners who walk the talk. Also if you have to think and calculate who should be paying for daily expenses like food and utilities, then you really have no financial means to get married yet.
Exactly, many woman claim to be successful and independent yet still expect the guy to pay more and treat them to good stuff regardless of whether the girl or guy earns more.
Why is being “offended” that the term dating down is seen as insecure? It’s not a nice thing to say about your partner no?
A relationship shouldn’t not be build based on financial decisions. It will never be a balanced and healthy relationship. Imagine if one who earned more, suddenly earn much lesser (regardless if is a lady or guy). A relationship should be build on commitment, communication, trust. Yes, being stable financially is a need as both couples are building for the future. Doesn’t matter who earns more or less.
But money causes divorces
I think i said this in another video discussing this but I really disagree with her use of words. By using "Dating Down", you imply that his character, looks, family background is not as good as yours, not just his finances. But in her case, it was not true since he was clearly a loving boyfriend who had drive to better himself and he didn't look too bad etc. There was no reason to use such a negative phrase to put him down (even if he didn't mind [so he says]), there were clearly better words to use that could have gotten the point across just as well.
such as? What words would you use?
@@TheMrleeyanga simple, he’s currently earning lesser than me will do? lol
In any relationship, there's always one who gives more and one who takes more. Never be drunk on either of the extreme.
Then I guess staying single is the best solution. Save tons of money, can do things as u please, no restrictions or monetary burden (e.g., child expenses, wife expenses, household expenses). U will even be in the best of health cuz no stress mah. The only drawback is no sex lor. But then again, if u got money, can always pay for good sex.
I'm dating a guy who earns less than 20% of what I do, I love him with all my heart and I hope we're together forever, I'm okay with if I always earn more than him. Asking him out last year was the best decision I ever made. The amazing conversations we have, the fun date nights, the weird things we have in common, you can't put a price tag on it. I'm also thankful that he's okay with me earning a lot more than he does.
The truth is, it's rare for a woman to accept dating someone with lower earning power, even if the guy is earning a comfortable income, covering most expenses, and has a good amount of savings. My advice is not to focus solely on financial compatibility. Instead, seek someone who shares your values and mindset in life. Also, please avoid projecting your expectations or goals onto your partner.
Only in Singapore, here in Australia and New Zealand, 1/3 married couples are with women earning more than their husbands.
@@eugenekoh8815 I want to go to Australia and New Zealand
The concept of dating downwards comes from the word 下嫁 = female marrying a guy with less financial & / background status/power. Bc traditionally there is a mindset that females must marry a guy richer & smarter as guys are the main provider of the family. Cannot 'downgrade'
I dated down once. He told me that he is afraid his future partner is marrying him for his money. Safe to say we didn’t really work out 😂
Only in Singapore, here in Australia and New Zealand, 1/3 married couples are with women earning more than their husbands.
That's hilarious.
Yes please leave him. So he can focus on getting more wealthy and make you regret in future that you dumped him because of money.
This concept of women preferring to marrying "up" can be seen in the Singapore population census. The highest proportion of unmarried males is from the group with lower than secondary education. Conversely, the highest proportion of unmarried women have tertiary education.
In the past, the Chinese are very particular about class differences and emphasized on the importance of 门当户对. This is probably less of a problem in Singapore since most of us are largely middle class - with more than 75% staying in public housing.
Instead of focusing on salary differences, I feel that having similar attitude towards money is more important for couples. I have 2 friends who enjoy travelling but we can never have them travelling in the same group because their attitude towards spending money is very different. The penny-pinching one must cover every square inch of each place we visit to maximise his money's worth and only wants to stay in budget hotels because to him its just a place to sleep for the night. The other friend believes that when on holiday he must take his time to enjoy the places he visits, never mind if he cannot cover alot of ground and he would only stay in the nicest hotels. His mantra is if he needs to be budget-conscious then he would rather just remain in sg because the trip is meant to be an enjoyment. They are both in IT industry and in the same payscale. So it really is not how much you earn but what is your view and attitude towards money, which I guess can sometimes boil down to upbringing and family background
I loved the “don’t spend money you don’t have”
Bruh I was listening when working and fuck the Dutch joke made me laugh so hard HAHAHAHAHA
Thank you for sharing these experiences so vastly different from mine. I feel like I'm in a better position to guide my kids.
The way I do it with my wife is we have a joint account. All the money goes there and we both have full access to it. The reason we never had problems is because we both spend way below our means.
JP's POV is cos he's single. If he ever gets married, the perspective will change(naturally)
I'm afraid Jonathan Paul would have difficulty finding his partner, this this kind of mentality, I wouldn't recommend him to my female friend
Haiiiiiii your podcasts are amazing
I would love to be on these kinds of talk shows. Feels more real and exciting! Daily ketchup, if you’re looking for more members….
lots of interesting takes. i think it really does mainly boil down to compatibility and communication
I earn about 1/5 more than my partner, and every month when we contribute to our joint account savings or pay down our HDB loan, we just contribute in respective ratio. I find this better than going completely dutch when one earns more than the other
But when you date up, would the other person then want to date down?
hmmmmm not sure if i deja vu but i might have watched/dreamt this podcast previously
Find a financially compatible partner. Imagine you like to enjoy the fine restaurant or expensive travels because you can afford it but now you have to adjust that to “settle”. Depends on ur life priority
Ladies, never think that if you date down; it’s because of true love. If in the future you have money incompatibility and even worst he cheats, you can’t blame anyone for that. Choose love, but money is relatively important too.
Hello! I find the part where y’all had differing opinions in whether lying to your partner is okay or not interesting and am currently facing similar issue. Could yall have a podcast about that? Also about what if your partner doesn’t see holding back the truth about something as not a lie but to you it is(?)
I think every Couple Relationships revolves around 3 factors. Only 1 factor is most dominant in the relationship, its what keeps it alive and thriving.
*FACTORS*
1) Money
2) Sex
3) Love
1) If your relationship revolves around MONEY than you better make sure you have it if not your partner will break up with you.
2) If your relationship revolves around SEX than you better make sure you are fulfilling all your partner's bedroom desires if not he or she will leave you for someone else.
3) If your relationship revolves around LOVE, oh are you blessed my friend. HIGH or LOW you want to be with the same person because of LOVE. Money can wait, sex can wait, but LOVE cannot. So always choose love. Even if the current relationship isn't loving the universe will send you the right one, because you are loving. You are always attracting that which you are, nothing more.
I think its way better to be single and relax while being a loving person, the universe will send you exactly what you want. But if you keep rushing into relationships one after another, maybe there is no one right for you.
*Godspeed everyone, LOVE always! :)*
*Edit* - Spacings
Hi Daily Ketchup - can you consider doing an episode on this recent article / survey that mothership posted about "57% of S'porean men think women's equality has gone so far as to discriminate against men: Ipsos survey" ?
Married couple that has married more than 10 years (especially those with kids), will start to see how "bread" prioritise "love". Many rs are died prematurely as a result of it.
Given a choice, women will always never choose to date down. Hypergamy is always in women’s nature. Women will always desire a man who is taller, more successful, richer, more confident than themselves.
The irony of the idea "dating downwards" isn't devaluing men, it's actually in fact devaluing the woman herself. If a man's worth is all about how much he can earn more than the woman, then what's the value of the woman in subject? If such valuation matters, that means even an uneducated sex worker is worth more if she gets a richer husband than a career woman. Finances is something that is shared between two people. If one of them, be it male or female, places expectations on the other when it comes to shouldering such finances(be it one shouldering it all or expecting one side to shoulder more), the relationship will never work out. If you're a high earning career woman whom believes in valuing men over how much more he earns than you, trust me lady, you'll spend the rest of your life alone, wasting money on host clubs to satisfy that companionship. You are never worth any penny of affection by men.
But with that said, ladies needs to understand it's a whole different story if the guy is known to be a lazy bum.
It’s sad we are even talking about it to begin with. There’s no real love anymore.
I hv come across a wife left her husband bcos he is the problem why they can’t conceive. There is no true love anymore. Sg is about transaction
I believe in true love...
More money
Heard or read the famous news of one Japan Princess who become a commoner, after getting married to her husband, who comes from a commoner family?
Or daughters of a President, a Prime Minister, a Minister, a Senator etc who married a commoner and even changed her Citizenship to live overseas with her new family?
Hmm..she may earn more but she knows he works hard and he plan to increase his earnings in the future and he works hard. So she as a girl still may want a provider and someone who pay for her. Like she earns more, but he is the still the one who pays, so what's the difference? In fact why doesn't she pay her share even though she earns more?
A girl who date someone richer than her and he guy pay most of the time. A girl who date someone poorer than her and the guy still pay most of the time. These two girls are the same, they still value the financial benefits the guy give them. I think the girls who earns more is more of a "gold digger" in a sense.
Well, she technically is not since she doesn't need the money but why should the guy pay for her and make her feel good. Does she love the guy or does she just want to be pampered? It makes me feel like this girl is a selfish lover. She still wants a provider.
It's not who earns more, it's who PAY more. If a girl is rich but don't pay there is no difference between her and a jobless girl.
The question is, if the guy is poorer and choice of career is something that makes him happy but doesn't progress much, is the girl comfortable with paying for most of the financial aspect of the relationship since she earns more? If the guy never manage to earn more than the girl, will the girl mind?
To the Dailyketchup team,
I really love watching your podcast and absolutely respect you guys for always exploring real topics that may not be the easiest to discuss.
However recently (or i honestly can’t remember since when) the mic frequencies especially for dan’s one has been triggering my eardrums. Its like a sharp buzzing sound ??? Idk the about all the sound technical stuff but it just saddens me that I can’t enjoy your videos properly :( So wondering if you could adjust something in the mic??
** is anyone experiencing this too? If not then i guess it could just be my own device’s problem haha
hello dan, can you please drop your HDL $80 order list PUHLESE
Can you cover some sg or Asian singers and have them do a cover as well at the end…… :D
I suppose what Dan is using the same analogy with a curtain old woman in some old book that offer all her 20 bucks to a curtain organisation comparing to a tax payer that can afford x100 of her.
Or something.
But I do get all of Dan's points.
In a way.
Some how.
Agree with dan and jp this episode hahahaha
omg shermane where did you get your gojo shirt :")
shopee have
Yes. All are cbs!!! 😂😂😂
What if 1 is asset rich but cash poor, but another is cash rich but no asset?
Gg… so hard to manage
Broke guys should have their right to date revoked. If they knock up the woman, that's another cycle of poverty.
These nice folks think that paying for meals and holidays are acts of generous giving 😢
i will never date down. from experience, the boy expect me to pay for everything because im older and working (i was 22) while he was still studying.. and demand money from me every week like $100s and pushing the amt more every week. ofc i left that useless shit.
That’s just one experience though, it shouldn’t define your experience of dating down. You just happened to date an immature boy.
Too much liao red flaggg
That one is not date down, that one is call red flag.
or ur not a real woman. real woman provide support
Im not rich but sincere..you dont want then find one better .. hahaha
Always date up
16:26 flip the scenario around and it will be the guy pampering his girlfriend. so in this time and era, girls cannot pamper guys? so it mus always be a case where the guy needs to be "educated" and the girl is pampered? come on laaa... double standard jus say so...
lolz..all inmature thinking..
Algooooooooooooooo