Your timing is impeccable. I’ve been on date 6 with someone for over a month now. And he’s still multiple dating. And he can’t decide because apparently the other person is a slow burner. He has a fear of commitment, never married or engaged in his 14 year relationship. And the last year he was in and out of situationships. I don’t have time for this. I’m starting to have anxiety and sleepless nights. So I finally ended this. No lengthy paragraph. Just said, I can’t make it for Sunday. I don’t think we should see each other anymore.
The fact that you know he is triangulating you with someone else is enough for you to leave this situation. This is a you problem, why would you entertain someone who not only told you he is not capable of committing, but also told you that you are competing against someone else that he is willing to risk you over? I find any man who tells you about the others they are dating is a waste of time. I expect them to be dating others, but healthy people don’t triangulate and they make a choice.
@heyu123 I have stayed in this dynamic for 7 months, and he is still dating multiple others and making me feel like I am competing with others and the potential new ones he is still actively seeking. It has not been worth it. I am unhappy and let him know, and he just dropped the whole relationship because he has an alternative option who is “more agreeable and give him no pressure and all the freedom”. Get out now and don't choose with your heart.
If someone brings out the best in you then you can share, if they give off a vibes that make you keep your guard up…there is a reason listen to your gut instinct
I’ve seen this play out a lot with friends. I meet people with whom I have a lot in common but they are not ready to be friends. Whereas the close friends I have are usually because of geographic convenience or generally desire to spend time with me, regardless of how much in common we have. We grow close because we take interest in one another.
I adore how Mathew looks at Audrey while discussing countering habits like eating ones or going to bed at different time😊The smile and glances he throws into her direction tell so much about his love to her❤
When it is confusing after you address the issue and no progress it is time to let go… If someone comes to my life and I asked where do you want to go or where are you heading to and someone tells me “let’s go with the flow” I will have to kick him out of my car because that’s a waste of my time. Life is too short to waste it with someone that doesn’t know where they are going or know what they want.
Exactly !! I was soooo many years married and fully committed to my husband who by the way was the first man ever I had been but commitment Wasn’t enough !!! There are sooo many other factors for a relationship to work , most important to have dealt with our childhood traumas or other traumas which we bring with us to our relationships
I agree. I've been talking to someone amazing for almost 1 year. However, she can't decide if she wants to commit or not due to her past. I even think about going on our date and then probably telling her honestly that time don't wait for anyone and I can't wait forever for her to decide. And move on.
“When the thing that they’re not is kindness, integrity, someone who cares, you’re missing out 100% on what you need to be happy.” I love this! Such an awakening remark. He may have all sorts of attractive qualities on the surface, but he’s an avoidant and a liar. He’s totally not worth agonizing over.
They do talk about it but until around 32:15 I'd say it's just build-up. Hussey talks about owning our responsibility in making decisions. Beware if they have a "passenger" mindset. I think you would instinctively know if you are dating someone like that.
Being authentic and vulnerable is good IF done the right way. Don't give them that when they haven't "earned" it is the hard lesson I learnt. I got hurt when I put the effort to be less avoidant and be more vulnerable when it wasnt actually safe - I gave too much away too soon. Not because he took advantage of it, but because of both of our issues making things worse even though we were in love with each other. My mission was to be vulnerable (for my own sake), I didn't know that that can be "too much" for them to take. I wasn't berating him or complaining (that isn't vulnerability, it's rude...) just sharing a lot of my emotions. I just gave him all my heart and it got shattered. You can keep your heart closer to your chest if your instinct tells you that it's not safe to be openly vulnerable. Open up slowly and only show as much as they make you feel safe. Also, some mystery can add to the game and make you feel more in control. Learn to be sufficient and confident in yourself without needing them... that's the most important effort.
A relationship rightly feels the biggest because we are personally the most vulnerable in one. You're also hoping it will be for life, and there are enormous consequences if it doesn't work out - not only emotionally but financially and family-wise if you have children. By contrast, we don't necessarily expect friendships or jobs to last the rest of our lives. Not only that, people often behave the worst in anything to do with relationships due to their attachment issues, etc. The toxicity and potential for causing pain are way beyond anything else, except maybe family relationships.
when people make you feel bad or conflicted the end result years or decades later when you do not care about them anymore is you will regret you ever interreacted with them in the first place and wasted your time that could have been applied to other people or other interests. good relationships make you feel good not conflicted or depressed.
Dated a “passenger” for 8 years through high school and college…..got married and much later I found out she began cheating on me a year into marriage. Said she felt like she has gone through her life without really making any decisions for herself. So she ended up wasting 17 years of my life 👍🏼. Life is super fair.
We have career and guidance counsellors so why don’t we have relationship (friend and romantic) counsellors right through high school and university? I needed it.
The reading book comment is so me! I used to read all the time! I have been in the middle of the same book for 2 to 3 years. Cell phone/social media is an addiction. If I don't go on it very often, but once I do I can waste hours of my time!
Watching relationship videos, reading the comments, hearing other people talk about their relationships---makes me extremely glad to be single. Sure, I'm missing out on sex, but honestly I'm not missing out on much. I don't WANT a relationship, nor am I ready for one, nor do I have the time or energy to put towards other people who most likely won't reciprocate. And I won't hesitate to say so. Because I don't want to waste my time or give my energy to another person who most likely won't reciprocate. Why bother with all the drama, stress, and heartache of dating/relationships? I already have enough drama, stress, and heartache WITHOUT dating/relationships in my life. I'm so over it. Seems like humans are gluttons for punishment: we keep putting ourselves in these situations that we know will cause us pain.
I hate when someone says they’re all in and then you think great, they’re committed and you believe them but then the honeymoon phase ends and it’s like well I fell for that trick again. Why can’t people just be honest about their feelings and intentions?!?! It’s so aggravating.
Yeah totally. I think sometimes it is not about being dishonest but they just don’t realize how they work and what they are really doing. They are so happy and overwhelmed by the honeymoon phase so they are in their ”high” and thus stopped really analyzing and thinking twice. They make promises and think they really love you when in reality they are just infatuated
@ yeah so true! All those feel good hormones have clouded their judgments and perceptions. I guess it’s a good lesson to not believe what you hear in the first few months of dating
27:04: Audrey says something really important! I completely agree with her on that! Many of us women do care about men being clever, intelligent, who have the same political background and have these deep and smart conversations!! These are much more important to us than most things! Of course that kindness, loyalty, etc are very important, but for me, at least, as an autistic high intelligent person, I need someone who can share these things Audrey mentioned. Kindness and everything Matthew points are, for us, imperative. We certainly already want that. However, I believe that OUR CORES VALUES ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITY WE LOOK IN A MAN! WELL DONE, AUDREY!!! ❤😊
Two points - I absolutely think that political views, (especially if one is truly knowledgeable about not just politics or the candidates, but about world history too) - so an informed person who has a genuine, valid argument DOES speak directly to a core value system, and therefore is very important in that whatever views should align within a serious partnership or marriage. Secondly - I love the idea to take 6 months to go all in (or at least asking yourself how it makes you feel) and if the idea of that interests you, or displeases you, either way - you have an answer. You can still go through with it just to be sure, or you can go with your original intuition. But it does place an importance on making a decision - especially for those passive "passenger" types. The same could be applied to single people, I suppose, just in a different way. An idea is if you're not sure if you really want to stay single or not, date as many people as you can in that 6 months and check in with yourself during that time to see what your gut is telling you. Are you exhausted and miserable? Then maybe you're more ready than you think for a serious, long-term connection. Or...if you're still loving every minute of superficial liasons, then you should probably stay single! Just an idea! 💡 There are definitely some people in both camps I know that I'll suggest this as an option for them to try! Thank you Matthew and Audrey and Steven! This was a great talk ❤️
Hey Matthew! I’ve been a huge fan of you and Ismael Gomez. I absolutely love both your perspectives on love, dating, and life. Your practical, no-nonsense approach combined with Ismael's deep, soulful insights would create such an amazing and meaningful conversation! It would be incredible to see you both collaborate on a podcast episode to dive into relationships, personal growth, and life from your unique angles. I believe so many of us could draw profound meaning from your combined wisdom. What do you both think about making this happen?
I recently left a group of women that in/of where I really felt tht I was a passenger-amidst them..not gaining movement, & had signed up for present in the group..in the 1st place. that wasn't a need met..via myself gotten & that I could give them to them. 'just weren't the openings made..the aha concreted of that when I left.'things had felt hollow..for a long time with these ladies.& the experience was sincerely a good evidencing found out..not instead waste of time over al. I'm looking to utmosrly grow deep with ppl, bcs I'm a person of a certain age..looking for the same in others, so.. thank you for your post..'truly powerful the insight🎉
Not having any choice is even worse, because when you meet someone new, you wonder if it's your only chance. Is it "better one than none". Is being with that plain Jane (what's the male equivalent of it?) type of a guy better than being painfully alone... What if you will never meet anyone else? So... yeah.... I still hear my incredibly emotionally abusive boyfriend telling me, when I decided to finally leave him : "I can be with whomever I want. I don't have a problem. But you....I was your only chance. You end up with nothing." It's super upsetting, because 14 years passed, and... I haven't met any good man to share my life with.
If it's painful to be alone, then you don't even like yourself. You need to do a lot more work yourself until you solve that problem. Also, you have terrible skills at choosing a partner. Why?? Because you are not even remotely ready. The only thing you are ready for is to be abused.
To the people who have found someone decent who is willing to fully commit to the relationship, please apply the take-care-of-your-pet theory - to learn about them, to communicate with them, to take care of them, and above all, to love them. If the society begins to enable pet owners to abandon their pets for the smallest little inconvenience or incompatibilities, that's just irresponsible and sad for humanity. Again, i emphasize, this message is for those who have found someone decent who is willing to fully commit to the relationship. None of those committed partners deserve to be a shelter pet - hurt and suspended in life.
Also we‘re far more attached to the outside World then 50 years back, where we where far more focused on our Family. Meeting not so much Friends, allways meeting fists member of the Family(Cousins, brothers and sisters). Many we had!!!Oncles and Aunties came to the house.and a German Journalist (Martenstein) once said: „in old Days you were happy to have every Day to eat and Someone warm in tBed😊… not thinking about the things, you’re talking about…
Wonderful one once again, thanks so much! That was so cute at the beginning with the greeting and outfits:) Sidenote: what are the black rings that Matt and Stephen wear? 🤔
Another thing is people change , we change so what I liked 20 years ago don’t now my consciousness expanded we are multidimensional beings not many people are awakened but I agree we must have high standards like Kindness integrity and empathy and deep understanding but thank you you just answered right now as I’m texting here if there are differences like if we know things which sound unbelievable like out of body experiences or that we are immortals or knowing what’s going on after we pass to another dimension or that some things aren’t real as they seem to be , but you love your partner but he has no clue about any of this , would this relationship work even if one is committed ??
I didn't live with my husband before we married. He too 3 and half years to get married. Hebwasb8my3ars older than me, our upbringings were so different, hecwentbto be late I went earlier, he worked shift work before we married so he worked 4pm to midnight. We ate differently too. I was brought up to be on time and be polite. My parents were younger and his were a lot b.older. being late used to upset me and turning up too late to go out anywhere. My father said he is not keen enough. He was right. One grand daughter is the same as hubbies family. It is interesting how that can go down a generation. Habits in bathroom were also another thing. I came from a home where mum washed daily but his mother didn't. Our common values are important.
I think the demographic stated is on a spectrum. What technology has done is just highlight behaviors that were once inhibitions and now, not. Its been an extreme of all cases across the board. It has created lots of extroverts and introverts and allowed things that were never once accepted and given it a platform. People have united and divided in extreme areas and althought we’re so easily connected, all we’ve discovered is that its a Catch 22 of being the same but lacking tolerance of it
Every woman alive.. none of them csn truly love or commit anymore. The second something uncomfortsble hsppens, they start overthinking it and check out
As as married woman I totally disagree. It's a character flaw and even somehow a new society flaw. But no I didn't run when something bad happened. You can't generalize, but some people tent to choose wrong. Happened to me as well so it's based on childhood drama or different circumstances...
I’m aware Matts been successful before his marriage … in coaching just an opinion bringing in work as a couple, as newly weds one year in ? Just wanting their protection that’s all
what matthew said at 35:00, i realy wanted to do that but my ex said that wasn't needed, but i saw the issues we where having from my side, to bether understanding toward her, with my autisme looking on the internet and find things that donr match with my autisme side, you get alot of confusion for not understanding, i also i didn't understand meself, read commind below i allready told about. but ya i realy realy would have helpt alot if my ex saw it 6 months befor we break up, saw it going into therepie bether understanding each other, then to blame every thing on my because i did'nt know how my autisme work with me.
I completely disagree with Matt's point that not everyone searches an intelectual connection. A huge part of a relationship is communication which is hugely shaped by our intelect. An intelligent person will never be able to find attractive someone with an iq under 110, it would just never happen. Equally the less intelligent person would start feeling inferior and insecure in the long-term. So intelectual connection is a big part of attraction for any relationship for people from all walks of life. Other than that love the team and the podcast ❤ keep it going guys 🙌🏻
Shut up. It's not just about intellectual connection. But spiritual Christian connection a belief in. God. Jesus. Christ. And also about . Love. Kindness and compassion.of each other cooking cleaning.etc. . Living nature. And about doing things together and physical attraction also.
@thematthewhussey, you should start to include people of color in your conversations. Either that or begin to acknowledge that you're only talking about white dating culture. You can't claim any general applicability to your words if you choose to leave out poc from your conversations.
I disagree, I’m a person of colour and can relate to the discussion. Dating apps have all nationalities. I can understand that cultural differences can affect dating.
I also disagree, as long as the message is good idgaf who it’s coming from. You also realize that’s his brother and wife?! It’s basically a family business/podcast built by healthy people for people to better themselves & their relationships.
@bindicat9070, @sandrixx666, and @thematthewhussey, I'm aware that they are all related. But when I scroll through the videos almost all the guests are also white. White dating culture automatically takes on this neoliberal approach to dating with the assumption of a (racialized white) subject that has autonomy and liberty to make choices about who they want to date which doesn't involve for example damaging racial stereotypes and exoticization of the other or strong expectations about class, age, etc. for the person you want to date from any parents or the extended community. There might be a vague "what do my friend's think about this person" mentioned every now and then, but you can't argue against that what's being presented here is mainly a white Western middle class culture of dating which has absorbed a lot of the POC middle class, as well. But it still doesn't erase those differences that inherently will cause problems for some of us because our dating experiences don't fully align with what's being talked about in the videos, and as long as the narrative that all of this is a universal experience in the West is being pushed to the viewers, it'll leave the impression that there's no need to address those experiences that deviate and which are specific to the POC communities. It's not up for discussion whether it's a problem or not if a conversation is white-centered and there's no willingness to address this.
I'm aware that they are all related. But when I scroll through the videos almost all the guests are also white. White dating culture automatically takes on this neoliberal approach to dating with the assumption of a (racialized white) subject that has autonomy and liberty to make choices about who they want to date which doesn't involve for example damaging racial stereotypes and exoticization of the other or strong expectations about class, age, etc. for the person you want to date from any parents or the extended community. There might be a vague "what do my friend's think about this person" mentioned every now and then, but you can't argue against that what's being presented here is mainly a white Western middle class culture of dating which has absorbed a lot of the POC middle class, as well. But it still doesn't erase those differences that inherently will cause problems for some of us because our dating experiences don't fully align with what's being talked about in the videos, and as long as the narrative that all of this is a universal experience is being pushed to the viewers, it'll leave the impression that there's no need to address those experiences that deviate and which are specific to the POC communities. It's not up for discussion whether it's a problem or not if a conversation is white-centered and there's no willingness to address this.
I love Audrey but I found her selection in clothing for this episode quite distracting and a bit provocative… 🫣I was trying not to look at her skin.. I have nothing. Against her tbh I genuinely love her mind ! But I also feel like that’s more dinner with your husband attire or in the bedroom …
Your timing is impeccable. I’ve been on date 6 with someone for over a month now. And he’s still multiple dating. And he can’t decide because apparently the other person is a slow burner. He has a fear of commitment, never married or engaged in his 14 year relationship. And the last year he was in and out of situationships. I don’t have time for this. I’m starting to have anxiety and sleepless nights.
So I finally ended this. No lengthy paragraph. Just said, I can’t make it for Sunday. I don’t think we should see each other anymore.
The fact that you know he is triangulating you with someone else is enough for you to leave this situation. This is a you problem, why would you entertain someone who not only told you he is not capable of committing, but also told you that you are competing against someone else that he is willing to risk you over? I find any man who tells you about the others they are dating is a waste of time. I expect them to be dating others, but healthy people don’t triangulate and they make a choice.
Pay attention to the numerous red flags that you yourself have pointed out. I would bow out - why compete and put up with a lot of pain?
@@tallspicy I was mislead to think he was only dating me, until quite recently. You’ve made a good point. Thank you
I feel you. Especially the old heart vs reason tug-of-war...
@heyu123 I have stayed in this dynamic for 7 months, and he is still dating multiple others and making me feel like I am competing with others and the potential new ones he is still actively seeking. It has not been worth it. I am unhappy and let him know, and he just dropped the whole relationship because he has an alternative option who is “more agreeable and give him no pressure and all the freedom”. Get out now and don't choose with your heart.
If someone brings out the best in you then you can share, if they give off a vibes that make you keep your guard up…there is a reason listen to your gut instinct
Relationship with the phone
I’ve seen this play out a lot with friends. I meet people with whom I have a lot in common but they are not ready to be friends. Whereas the close friends I have are usually because of geographic convenience or generally desire to spend time with me, regardless of how much in common we have. We grow close because we take interest in one another.
Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Be authentic. Be vulnerable.
I adore how Mathew looks at Audrey while discussing countering habits like eating ones or going to bed at different time😊The smile and glances he throws into her direction tell so much about his love to her❤
When it is confusing after you address the issue and no progress it is time to let go…
If someone comes to my life and I asked where do you want to go or where are you heading to and someone tells me “let’s go with the flow” I will have to kick him out of my car because that’s a waste of my time. Life is too short to waste it with someone that doesn’t know where they are going or know what they want.
They know when it’s the right person. It’s just a way of stringing you along, and you need to read between the lines
Exactly !! I was soooo many years married and fully committed to my husband who by the way was the first man ever I had been but commitment Wasn’t enough !!! There are sooo many other factors for a relationship to work , most important to have dealt with our childhood traumas or other traumas which we bring with us to our relationships
This! 💯 Speak on it 👏
Broke up with a passenger 3 weeks ago. Brilliantly put, Matthew!
I agree. I've been talking to someone amazing for almost 1 year. However, she can't decide if she wants to commit or not due to her past. I even think about going on our date and then probably telling her honestly that time don't wait for anyone and I can't wait forever for her to decide. And move on.
Why do you even need to say that?? She's not asking you to do any of that to begin with. Just move on.
She's not attracted to you bt doesn't have the courage to tell you.
“When the thing that they’re not is kindness, integrity, someone who cares, you’re missing out 100% on what you need to be happy.” I love this! Such an awakening remark. He may have all sorts of attractive qualities on the surface, but he’s an avoidant and a liar. He’s totally not worth agonizing over.
For me the content of this episode doesnt match the title. I was very exited to hear about this kind of person as I have experienced that.
@@annaalm18 I thought the same thing.
Yes, me too. I didn't hear, not in one moment, what I was hoping to hear 🫤
They do talk about it but until around 32:15 I'd say it's just build-up. Hussey talks about owning our responsibility in making decisions. Beware if they have a "passenger" mindset. I think you would instinctively know if you are dating someone like that.
Same here
Right? All good but the title is totally misleading.
Being authentic and vulnerable is good IF done the right way. Don't give them that when they haven't "earned" it is the hard lesson I learnt. I got hurt when I put the effort to be less avoidant and be more vulnerable when it wasnt actually safe - I gave too much away too soon. Not because he took advantage of it, but because of both of our issues making things worse even though we were in love with each other. My mission was to be vulnerable (for my own sake), I didn't know that that can be "too much" for them to take. I wasn't berating him or complaining (that isn't vulnerability, it's rude...) just sharing a lot of my emotions. I just gave him all my heart and it got shattered. You can keep your heart closer to your chest if your instinct tells you that it's not safe to be openly vulnerable. Open up slowly and only show as much as they make you feel safe. Also, some mystery can add to the game and make you feel more in control. Learn to be sufficient and confident in yourself without needing them... that's the most important effort.
A relationship rightly feels the biggest because we are personally the most vulnerable in one. You're also hoping it will be for life, and there are enormous consequences if it doesn't work out - not only emotionally but financially and family-wise if you have children. By contrast, we don't necessarily expect friendships or jobs to last the rest of our lives.
Not only that, people often behave the worst in anything to do with relationships due to their attachment issues, etc. The toxicity and potential for causing pain are way beyond anything else, except maybe family relationships.
when people make you feel bad or conflicted the end result years or decades later when you do not care about them anymore is you will regret you ever interreacted with them in the first place and wasted your time that could have been applied to other people or other interests. good relationships make you feel good not conflicted or depressed.
Yes the lack of self trust because of the frequent betrayal of others and subconscious self abandonment
Dated a “passenger” for 8 years through high school and college…..got married and much later I found out she began cheating on me a year into marriage. Said she felt like she has gone through her life without really making any decisions for herself. So she ended up wasting 17 years of my life 👍🏼. Life is super fair.
We have career and guidance counsellors so why don’t we have relationship (friend and romantic) counsellors right through high school and university? I needed it.
the psych industry is mostly harming people not helping them navigate conflicted relationships or toxic interactions.
The reading book comment is so me! I used to read all the time! I have been in the middle of the same book for 2 to 3 years. Cell phone/social media is an addiction. If I don't go on it very often, but once I do I can waste hours of my time!
Watching relationship videos, reading the comments, hearing other people talk about their relationships---makes me extremely glad to be single. Sure, I'm missing out on sex, but honestly I'm not missing out on much.
I don't WANT a relationship, nor am I ready for one, nor do I have the time or energy to put towards other people who most likely won't reciprocate.
And I won't hesitate to say so.
Because I don't want to waste my time or give my energy to another person who most likely won't reciprocate.
Why bother with all the drama, stress, and heartache of dating/relationships?
I already have enough drama, stress, and heartache WITHOUT dating/relationships in my life.
I'm so over it.
Seems like humans are gluttons for punishment: we keep putting ourselves in these situations that we know will cause us pain.
I hate when someone says they’re all in and then you think great, they’re committed and you believe them but then the honeymoon phase ends and it’s like well I fell for that trick again. Why can’t people just be honest about their feelings and intentions?!?! It’s so aggravating.
Yeah totally. I think sometimes it is not about being dishonest but they just don’t realize how they work and what they are really doing. They are so happy and overwhelmed by the honeymoon phase so they are in their ”high” and thus stopped really analyzing and thinking twice. They make promises and think they really love you when in reality they are just infatuated
@ yeah so true! All those feel good hormones have clouded their judgments and perceptions. I guess it’s a good lesson to not believe what you hear in the first few months of dating
27:04: Audrey says something really important! I completely agree with her on that! Many of us women do care about men being clever, intelligent, who have the same political background and have these deep and smart conversations!! These are much more important to us than most things! Of course that kindness, loyalty, etc are very important, but for me, at least, as an autistic high intelligent person, I need someone who can share these things Audrey mentioned. Kindness and everything Matthew points are, for us, imperative. We certainly already want that. However, I believe that OUR CORES VALUES ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITY WE LOOK IN A MAN! WELL DONE, AUDREY!!! ❤😊
Me too
Its confusing when u don't know when to hold on and when to let go and burn bridges say goodbye.
Really would be great to have a video like this with themes and questions time stamped please
Two points - I absolutely think that political views, (especially if one is truly knowledgeable about not just politics or the candidates, but about world history too) - so an informed person who has a genuine, valid argument DOES speak directly to a core value system, and therefore is very important in that whatever views should align within a serious partnership or marriage.
Secondly - I love the idea to take 6 months to go all in (or at least asking yourself how it makes you feel) and if the idea of that interests you, or displeases you, either way - you have an answer. You can still go through with it just to be sure, or you can go with your original intuition. But it does place an importance on making a decision - especially for those passive "passenger" types. The same could be applied to single people, I suppose, just in a different way. An idea is if you're not sure if you really want to stay single or not, date as many people as you can in that 6 months and check in with yourself during that time to see what your gut is telling you. Are you exhausted and miserable? Then maybe you're more ready than you think for a serious, long-term connection. Or...if you're still loving every minute of superficial liasons, then you should probably stay single! Just an idea! 💡 There are definitely some people in both camps I know that I'll suggest this as an option for them to try! Thank you Matthew and Audrey and Steven! This was a great talk ❤️
Hey Matthew!
I’ve been a huge fan of you and Ismael Gomez. I absolutely love both your perspectives on love, dating, and life. Your practical, no-nonsense approach combined with Ismael's deep, soulful insights would create such an amazing and meaningful conversation! It would be incredible to see you both collaborate on a podcast episode to dive into relationships, personal growth, and life from your unique angles. I believe so many of us could draw profound meaning from your combined wisdom.
What do you both think about making this happen?
I recently left a group of women that in/of where I really felt tht I was a passenger-amidst them..not gaining movement, & had signed up for present in the group..in the 1st place. that wasn't a need met..via myself gotten & that I could give them to them. 'just weren't the openings made..the aha concreted of that when I left.'things had felt hollow..for a long time with these ladies.& the experience was sincerely a good evidencing found out..not instead waste of time over al. I'm looking to utmosrly grow deep with ppl, bcs I'm a person of a certain age..looking for the same in others, so.. thank you for your post..'truly powerful the insight🎉
Not having any choice is even worse, because when you meet someone new, you wonder if it's your only chance. Is it "better one than none". Is being with that plain Jane (what's the male equivalent of it?) type of a guy better than being painfully alone... What if you will never meet anyone else? So... yeah.... I still hear my incredibly emotionally abusive boyfriend telling me, when I decided to finally leave him : "I can be with whomever I want. I don't have a problem. But you....I was your only chance. You end up with nothing." It's super upsetting, because 14 years passed, and... I haven't met any good man to share my life with.
If it's painful to be alone, then you don't even like yourself. You need to do a lot more work yourself until you solve that problem. Also, you have terrible skills at choosing a partner. Why?? Because you are not even remotely ready. The only thing you are ready for is to be abused.
Do not allow people to multidate others once they kiss you. Because they should be smitten after that.
I am Audrey with my Heatless curlers and LED mask. Waiting for my Matt.
Same. 😂
I think this is most of us 😂💔
I’m glad Matthew said decision are hard to make!
What has Stephen been doing? Didn't recognize him at all! Looking good! Thank you for the video, very informative
To the people who have found someone decent who is willing to fully commit to the relationship, please apply the take-care-of-your-pet theory - to learn about them, to communicate with them, to take care of them, and above all, to love them. If the society begins to enable pet owners to abandon their pets for the smallest little inconvenience or incompatibilities, that's just irresponsible and sad for humanity.
Again, i emphasize, this message is for those who have found someone decent who is willing to fully commit to the relationship. None of those committed partners deserve to be a shelter pet - hurt and suspended in life.
15 min in and already loving hanging out with you three 💖💖💖
Dr. Gabor Mate said who you choose a your partner is the most important decision you make to a podcaster called We Need to Talk-- Paul something.
This was so insightful but also convicting. I need to makes real decisions in real time NYC 🗽
Ah! This one is SO good. Wish I got this lesson a decade or more ago.
I definitely resonate with that! Wish I knew all of this sooner.... powerful knowledge!
When a guy says he wants kids "someday"...... that day is never. RUN.
Also we‘re far more attached to the outside World then 50 years back, where we where far more focused on our Family. Meeting not so much Friends, allways meeting fists member of the Family(Cousins, brothers and sisters). Many we had!!!Oncles and Aunties came to the house.and a German Journalist (Martenstein) once said: „in old Days you were happy to have every Day to eat and Someone warm in tBed😊… not thinking about the things, you’re talking about…
Wonderful one once again, thanks so much! That was so cute at the beginning with the greeting and outfits:) Sidenote: what are the black rings that Matt and Stephen wear? 🤔
It's a "smart ring" - Samsung Galaxy or Oura.
Streaming and gaming are done with other people, they are totally shared and done together with others.
My husband would totally agree 😂 But you can still be an introvert in the "real" world and won't find your partner normally there 😊
I liked the passenger thing
Another thing is people change , we change so what I liked 20 years ago don’t now my consciousness expanded we are multidimensional beings not many people are awakened but I agree we must have high standards like Kindness integrity and empathy and deep understanding but thank you you just answered right now as I’m texting here if there are differences like if we know things which sound unbelievable like out of body experiences or that we are immortals or knowing what’s going on after we pass to another dimension or that some things aren’t real as they seem to be , but you love your partner but he has no clue about any of this , would this relationship work even if one is committed ??
You are the Best !!! So happy to know you ❤️❤️😊❤️
All three are Husseys' ? & Hussey got married !!?? ❤😂🎉
Steven without a beard, wow!
I didn't live with my husband before we married. He too 3 and half years to get married. Hebwasb8my3ars older than me, our upbringings were so different, hecwentbto be late I went earlier, he worked shift work before we married so he worked 4pm to midnight. We ate differently too. I was brought up to be on time and be polite. My parents were younger and his were a lot b.older. being late used to upset me and turning up too late to go out anywhere. My father said he is not keen enough. He was right. One grand daughter is the same as hubbies family. It is interesting how that can go down a generation. Habits in bathroom were also another thing. I came from a home where mum washed daily but his mother didn't. Our common values are important.
Just worried tor you as anew couple, just a couple years into your marriage and revealing advice this early 🙏🏼…
Matt was doing this well before he married Audrey...
Audrey is so sweet and cute❤ i think she is a great friend as well as great wife
Isn’t the reason why people fear commitment is really just a lack of interest?
Nope, trauma can also be a source. Also just a character issue or just not into the other person. Lot's of reasons...
Stephen is so cute. I don’t know if he’s commited. If he is, I appologise
I think the demographic stated is on a spectrum. What technology has done is just highlight behaviors that were once inhibitions and now, not. Its been an extreme of all cases across the board. It has created lots of extroverts and introverts and allowed things that were never once accepted and given it a platform. People have united and divided in extreme areas and althought we’re so easily connected, all we’ve discovered is that its a Catch 22 of being the same but lacking tolerance of it
I am ready for a partner that works with me completely are their out period.
I LOVE THIS TRIO
Has his brother had a hair transplant. Looks very good
I thought the same and yes, but it's bad that men now also have to do surgery 😢 well all genders. We shouldn't be pushed for a certain ideal
Audrey 🌸 She is SO FINE. If Hussey drops the ball, or she every turns gay, ❤🎉
Can u know a person from one date ,which a boring coffee date for enjoy....
Bec i dont ..there anxiety, stress....etc
Every woman alive.. none of them csn truly love or commit anymore. The second something uncomfortsble hsppens, they start overthinking it and check out
As as married woman I totally disagree. It's a character flaw and even somehow a new society flaw. But no I didn't run when something bad happened. You can't generalize, but some people tent to choose wrong. Happened to me as well so it's based on childhood drama or different circumstances...
I’m aware Matts been successful before his marriage … in coaching just an opinion bringing in work as a couple, as newly weds one year in ?
Just wanting their protection that’s all
I need to try being a passenger!! LoL 😅
MATTHEWWWWW! Ahhhhhhh!
what matthew said at 35:00, i realy wanted to do that but my ex said that wasn't needed, but i saw the issues we where having from my side, to bether understanding toward her, with my autisme looking on the internet and find things that donr match with my autisme side, you get alot of confusion for not understanding, i also i didn't understand meself, read commind below i allready told about.
but ya i realy realy would have helpt alot if my ex saw it 6 months befor we break up, saw it going into therepie bether understanding each other, then to blame every thing on my because i did'nt know how my autisme work with me.
Thank you soo much
I can't hear the audio.
You are all sooo great 🎉🎉😊😊
I completely disagree with Matt's point that not everyone searches an intelectual connection. A huge part of a relationship is communication which is hugely shaped by our intelect. An intelligent person will never be able to find attractive someone with an iq under 110, it would just never happen. Equally the less intelligent person would start feeling inferior and insecure in the long-term. So intelectual connection is a big part of attraction for any relationship for people from all walks of life. Other than that love the team and the podcast ❤ keep it going guys 🙌🏻
Shut up. It's not just about intellectual connection. But spiritual Christian connection a belief in. God. Jesus. Christ. And also about . Love. Kindness and compassion.of each other cooking cleaning.etc. . Living nature. And about doing things together and physical attraction also.
Mistitled. 🙄😒
The s's ruin it... can't listen even though its good quality content,
Calm down, pronouncing the S's
Legit ear piercing
❤
💜💜💜💫
💚💚💚🍀
@thematthewhussey, you should start to include people of color in your conversations. Either that or begin to acknowledge that you're only talking about white dating culture. You can't claim any general applicability to your words if you choose to leave out poc from your conversations.
I disagree, I’m a person of colour and can relate to the discussion. Dating apps have all nationalities. I can understand that cultural differences can affect dating.
I also disagree, as long as the message is good idgaf who it’s coming from. You also realize that’s his brother and wife?! It’s basically a family business/podcast built by healthy people for people to better themselves & their relationships.
@bindicat9070, @sandrixx666, and @thematthewhussey, I'm aware that they are all related. But when I scroll through the videos almost all the guests are also white. White dating culture automatically takes on this neoliberal approach to dating with the assumption of a (racialized white) subject that has autonomy and liberty to make choices about who they want to date which doesn't involve for example damaging racial stereotypes and exoticization of the other or strong expectations about class, age, etc. for the person you want to date from any parents or the extended community. There might be a vague "what do my friend's think about this person" mentioned every now and then, but you can't argue against that what's being presented here is mainly a white Western middle class culture of dating which has absorbed a lot of the POC middle class, as well. But it still doesn't erase those differences that inherently will cause problems for some of us because our dating experiences don't fully align with what's being talked about in the videos, and as long as the narrative that all of this is a universal experience in the West is being pushed to the viewers, it'll leave the impression that there's no need to address those experiences that deviate and which are specific to the POC communities. It's not up for discussion whether it's a problem or not if a conversation is white-centered and there's no willingness to address this.
I'm aware that they are all related. But when I scroll through the videos almost all the guests are also white. White dating culture automatically takes on this neoliberal approach to dating with the assumption of a (racialized white) subject that has autonomy and liberty to make choices about who they want to date which doesn't involve for example damaging racial stereotypes and exoticization of the other or strong expectations about class, age, etc. for the person you want to date from any parents or the extended community. There might be a vague "what do my friend's think about this person" mentioned every now and then, but you can't argue against that what's being presented here is mainly a white Western middle class culture of dating which has absorbed a lot of the POC middle class, as well. But it still doesn't erase those differences that inherently will cause problems for some of us because our dating experiences don't fully align with what's being talked about in the videos, and as long as the narrative that all of this is a universal experience is being pushed to the viewers, it'll leave the impression that there's no need to address those experiences that deviate and which are specific to the POC communities. It's not up for discussion whether it's a problem or not if a conversation is white-centered and there's no willingness to address this.
@@plantenivanten9884do your own podcast and talk about problems that relate to you, why do you tell him what to talk about? 🙄
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I love Audrey but I found her selection in clothing for this episode quite distracting and a bit provocative… 🫣I was trying not to look at her skin.. I have nothing. Against her tbh I genuinely love her mind ! But I also feel like that’s more dinner with your husband attire or in the bedroom …