The Ideal Toddler Bedtime Routine (Little Z's Sleep)
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- Опубліковано 9 лип 2024
- Anyone have a toddler who things that bedtime is the perfect time to recount every detail of the day? Or maybe you DREAD bedtime. The evening is coming and you can think "I have no idea how long this is going to take!". Or you're laying in your child's bed trapped as they fall asleep. I am going to share with you the ideal toddler bedtime routine!
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So ready to give these a try in my never ending quest of putting myself to bed on time when I'm too tired and cranky to want to go through all that work...
We used to sit and read after bath time, but I swear since around 14 months my son has been PLAYING before bed... and I've just been letting him do that. We close the door and turn the lights down a bit and he plays with a few toys and I read a few books to him while he's playing. It's worked out great!!
I’ve been doing this routine since my daughter was born, but I’ve never put a timer to it. I’ll try that. Even with this routine we still struggle with sleep for my 2 year old.
This works!!! My wife and I tried it with our 2 year old who only slept if one of us was in her bed. And would cry soooo hard if we leave and then she’d come out the room as well.
We’ve been doing this for 4 days. First night was the hardest, lots of crying. Second night - no tears 😳. Third night, just a little and tonight, none! 🕺🏾
Thank you so much for sharing your tips!
YES!!!!!!!!! Thank you for sharing!
Did you do Ferber method,?
Thank you so much
Thank you so much for this! I have downloaded the chart and we have started it in my home! Thanks for making me feel like this doesnt have to be a drag! :)
Outstanding!
Wow what a great idea! Unbelievably successful! Thank you SOOO MUCH!
You are so welcome! Glad it helped!
My 3 year old child has an abnormal sleep schedule. She stays up till 9-10 most nights and naps for about 2 hours starting at 4 in the afternoon. I am a Stay at home mom and my husband has a later work schedule in which he doesn't get home till 8 most nights. The later schedule allows my daughter to spend time with her dad after work, and since we don't have to rush off to daycare in the morning, she just sleeps in later than the average kid. And her later nap also allows me to spend time with her old sister after school doing homework uninterrupted. Her schedule is consistent, but not typical. We typically do not have a lot of issues getting her to go to sleep or getting her to wake up in the morning. I never thought that was an issue, before but recently we were criticized by a friend about our daughter's sleep schedule claiming that it was doing her harm or at least a disservice. I have been asking around for some explanation as to why an alternative schedule that works for our family is bad. Some of the responses I got was that a child should have a schedule consistent with their peers for socialization, but our neighborhood has many children available to play with at all different hours of the day, and I make it a point to take her to playdates, library events, and parks on a regular basis to interact with kids during the school day when some of the neighborhood kids are at school. I was also told that it would be harder for her to adjust to an earlier sleep schedule when she started school and when she would need to adjust to an earlier bedtime to account for waking up earlier. We had a lot of success transitioning our older daughter to an earlier bedtime leading up to school, and did so in gradual stages in the months leading up to her going to kindergarten. I have never been one to believe that just because something is different it is inherently wrong, but if there is some sort of scientific evidence that supports the idea the time of day is just as important as the number of hours of sleep, I want to know that. I would hate to shake a routine that works for my family for no good reason, but I also want to be aware of any real side effects of this routine if any exist.
Hey there! Many children's circadian rhythms naturally do not allow for later bedtimes and later wake times. But if your child is well rested, happy, and this works for your family, there is no need to change! The beauty of parenting is you get to decided what is best for your family!!!
We're definitely on the same boat here! Prior to having my 2nd child, my first was doing a 7-7. As soon as my second was born, my first is now on a 12-12 schedule. It's very unpractical, but she goes to bed just fine and sleeps through the night for the most part. My second on the other hand, has a complete sleep schedule and sometimes he wakes her up going to bed. They go down for naps together but sleep at different times at night. Hopefully, the tips in this video will help us get both their sleep schedules somewhat aligned.
There is such a thing as chronotypes and it's highly genetic. My 13 month old goes to bed around 9:30pm and even as a new born I could tell she started her days late. Not respectong your chronotype is what causes damage. I'll homeschool and have a job that allows me to sleep in and start when I want. Maybe most babies and toddlers are naturally early birds but I'm sure there are more of us.
Wow❤❤❤... thank you so much
Amazing!!!
When I was a high school girl babysitting, I would let them play and then try to get them in bed. Now as a 40 something who still babysits, I make them get ready for bed, let them play and then just get them in. It works so much better. My thinking was that reserving some play time until after jammies/teeth/potty was to give me leverage to get them to get ready. Anyway, It's much smoother toddler, preschool, school age.
Does play time need to happen after getting the body ready for sleep? Can we start with play time after our bedtime snack and then brush teeth and get ready for bed? We dont usually do bath as part of the routine. What are your thoughts?
I used to watch tv and have a snack before bed. Always worked
Hi there, twin mum over here :-} So excited to try your techniques. My bedtime routine it takes I was really frustrated so very keen to try this method as soon as tonight! I'll keep you posted.WX
Twin mum here too
what happens if they get upset and want you to stay or they get up and follow you out?
love this! We do already incorporate play into our bedtime routine (which is really does feel like the magic within the magic), but our routine is not as structured and short & sweet as this. I believe your ideas will really help us out! thank you!
Thank you so much for your encouragement!!!! So glad you're here!!!
What do you do when you’ve done all of this and they don’t go to sleep? Should I let her lay there and cry after her bedtime routine? She fights sleep so hard. We go up and down the stairs trying to put her to bed for hours until she can’t fight it anymore and finally goes to sleep. She’s 15 months old, she was breastfed to sleep until she was 13m/o. I’m so lost. I don’t know what to do.
Is co-sleeping possible? It's the method that results in the most sleep for the average mom. I would google "the family bed". Co-sleeping is normal and standard in many countries around the world. It is not considered harmful or dangerous. There are lots of guidelines depending on the age of the kid for safe sleep so they don't suffocate or fall down. But, other than that, it's easy and works well. The big downside is that often men don't want to help with child rearing and sharing a bed with a kid is annoying. So, that's usually the reason it's a dead stop from the start. The other downside is people think it's the "easy way out" so people look down on your for not doing the more respected "cry it out" style of forcing unwilling children to sleep alone. Some kids sleep alone fine. Good for them. Some kids don't want to. Is that wrong? I don't think so. Especially little tiny ones. They need our support and being alone is very scary. It's scary for adults!!!!!!! I know adults who have never lived alone before. And grown women who got scared their first night in an apartment alone. If you don't have a partner telling you weird bullshit about bedsharing like my dad... who said sharing a bed with your baby would turn that baby gay... That's a myth. A horrible bullshit myth by a hateful homophobe. But... that's mothering... A constant shitstorm of hatred coming at you with hurricane force saying that you can't even put your kid to bed "right". Co-sleeping is normal and you'll both actually sleep. It's easy and makes common sense. Babies fall asleep on people all the time. It's just an extension of that. Good luck. Being a mom... could be so much easier and more fun if anyone ever just did what made the most sense to them in the actual moment. Like falling asleep next to your baby might make a lot of sense to you. Maybe not. But if it does, just do it. Fall asleep next to your little one. And dream side by side.
Any tips from co sleeping transitioning to sleeping alone in own bedroom?
Any tips!?
Co sleeping is a trap. Don’t do it😁
@@tonyloxton1965 I got into the habit of not taking them back in their room after they wake up whenever after ingot divorced, I love love love thebextra cuddles and they are always so sweet at midnight or 1, whenever it is but I know deep down it's not healthy
@@colearmitage1000 def not sweet when they’re kicking for a bottle and they’re not hungry., just want water. Lol
@@tonyloxton1965so easy to especially if you breastfeed not having to wake up wake up as they get bigger just works. Now they don’t sleep without me 🥴
Hi Thank you for this video. What time should the bedtime routine start?
Hi there! Bedtimes can range anywhere from 6pm-8pm! Our goal would be to start bedtime routine 30 minutes prior to bedtime! Would you mind emailing in to us at support@littlezsleep.com and we would love to offer some more specific guidance! 💛 Becca
I take half an hour showers so I thought 20 minutes was good for a bath I had no idea it was supposed to be shorter lol…
My baby never says yes I want to go into the room whenever it is the bedtime! so I struggle for this a lot! any advice to help this out !?
I love this and we do this list every.Single.night. I have 3 kids. The oldest 3.5 years old gives me grief every single night. We read for about 30 minutes each night. That could be where we go astray? It takes me 2 hours of struggle each night. Crying, fits, and other things that just drain us. My other two boys go to sleep when asked but the oldest gets all of our attention because he is throwing the fits. It just isn’t fair! I need advice. This list is great, but what about after the list is over? Is there advice for protesting? -sincerely desperate for help
I'm in the same boat as you.
My kids are older now. But we would not let our toddlers take naps at all or just short ones. They might have a meltdown during the day. But they passed out every night.
@mikethemechanic7395 I tried this with my toddler, what ends up happening is she has her "nap" at bedtime and then wakes up 3hrs later to "finish the rest of her day" 😢😅
I am definitely willing to try playtime before sleep because it is taking my 19 month old quite a while lately to fall asleep in his crib. He doesn't cry but he is still winding down. He does really enjoy books. How does that work if he wants to read books during that play time? Do we still do that part of the bedtime routine?
Hey, Amanda! You will do 10 minutes of play and then 5-10 minutes of books during your little one's bedtime routine!
How do you deal with sleeping in the same room as parents. Mostly because of lack of space! 1 bedroom apartment kind of situation
Hey Limi! For room sharing I LOVE the Slumberpod!
My daughter is 4 years old this year, I'd like to find out how long before bedtime should dinner be given? I have a very strict routine one would say, dinner at 6:30 then some play, bath time and then bedtime with a story or foot rubs which she would ask for often then I leave for her to fall asleep.
She doesn't sleep through the night, I'm definitely going to try this tonight.
Hopeful
Hey, Gabrielle! We recommend serving dinner within 1-1.5 hours before your little one goes to sleep!
Is it better that the play time + book reading takes place in the child's bedroom? Or could it take place, for example, in the living room - and then when the reading has finished we say "it's time to go up to bed now.." - could that work...? Or does it NEED to be in their bedroom?
Hey! We recommend that all of the routine happens IN the bedroom! If you would like some more guidance and help, would you mind emailing in to us at support@littlezsleep.com and we would love to provide some more guidance for you! 💛 Becca
Would you recommend this for a 2 and 3 year old sharing a room? They go to bed roughly the same time as each other most nights but we are finding they just want to play - hoping this is just the novelty of moving in with each other only a few weeks ago
I'm in the exact same boat...after I filed for divorce, obviously can't have the cream of the crop right off the bat for housing so I decided to go with a little bigger house but only 2 bedroom, figured they can share a room since they are 3 and almost 2...the 3 year old is on point about 95% of the time but the 2 year old is a little terrorist I swear lol.
Should we not give our toddler milk before bed? He also had a pacifier which isn’t helping 😓
He’s potty trained so think the milk might be waking him up.. he wakes up around 4am and all through the night x
Hey Rhian! Good question! I would move the milk WITH dinner, and if dinner and bedtime are separated by 1.5 hours+ then we can get a snack (with water) right before getting ready for bed. Then we can go potty at the start and end of bedtime routine.
@@littlezsleep my 18 month old wont sleep unless I breastfeed her and I have try hard but she just will cry until I feed her and she wakes up 3 o 4 times during night. 🤦
@@littlezsleep yeah I was wondering this also as my 19month old still had cows milk out of a baby bottle with a teat at every nap time that I give her while she is laying in my lap on her rocking chair in her room but realise it has to go! And we have a baby due in 4 months also. This video was very great 👍 thanks so much
This is brilliant
Thank you :)
My son is 2 years old and will not sleep in his own bed he like to sleep between mummy and daddy which is awful as I don’t get any sleep what should I go do
Hey Tina! If you feel like you are ready to make a change for your family, my Toddle E-Coaching Program will give you a plan to teach your little one independent sleep! littlezsleep.com/toddler
We basically co sleep only it’s in our girls room on her floor. 🤦🏻♀️
What would you recommend for a 6 year old? Bedtime has never been easy, but it hasn't ever been this difficult!
I've tried everything I can think of.
How do I fix this?
Hey Adrian!! At this age I would still suggest my Preschool Sleep Training Course (have used these strategies with 10yos). It will give you EVERY step of what to do and what to say!! Check out the program here: littlezsleep.com/preschool
Okay after i lay my 18 month old down he will scream for 3 hours before he falls asleep or until me or my husband can not handle it anymore. then what am i supossed to do? i have herd of several people using the cry out method but it then turns to coughing because he is crying to hard and even throwing up. i am running out of options and will have another baby here in 4 and a half months
Aware parenting.
I have the same problem 😖and stay up till like 1:00in the morning with her🤯😴😴she's 18 months ...the cry it out doesn't do it 🤷but totally taking advice
It was the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life. Mine did the same and i used to always cave because she never let up no matter how many times i tried. I literally had to let her cry almost all night (knowing she was okay of course) and that was all it took. Maybe 1 night and a nap and she was fine and i wish i did it sooner. But i felt AWFUL. Slept great ever since.
Hey, we tried this for the first time tonight on our 4 year old boy, bedtime routine is normally around an hour with a protest at the end. Tonight 2.5 hours I think we can say that was a fail. He refused to clean his teeth and have a bath even though he’s normally fine, when the time ran out of 10 mins he wanted to have his bath. Play and story time was OK but just wound himself up as normal. Screaming the house down not wanting to go to bed.
We shall try again tomorrow but 🤷♂️ Didn’t work for us tonight. Infact made it worse.
Hey! I would recommend my preschool course to implement rewards and consequences during bedtime routine!
littlezsleep.com/preschool
If they’re not used to putting themselves to sleep and won’t stay in their beds, what do you do?
Hey Jacosa! If you are ready for them to fall asleep independently, check out my toddler course!
littlezsleep.com/toddler
Really good night time routine, but what to do if the child wakes up in the middle of the night or walks to your room... tucking them in bed doesn't work... dad just camps on the floor until childs passes out. But how to solve that issue?
Hey, Jesy! If your child is having night wakings and not sleeping through the night independently, I recommend checking out our Toddler Sleep Program (17 mo - 3 years) or Preschool Sleep Program (3+ years) in the video description above! Both of these courses provide you with a step-by-step plan that will help your child learn to sleep 11-12 hours a night, all night long!
@@littlezsleep thank you will check out, is this normal? Because he's been sleep trained since 4 months old, this just started happening he's about to turn 3... he's never needed assistance for sleep and slept all through the night... just wondering what went wrong
Can you switch up step two and 3. Play and then get body ready?
Hey Carolyn, I have worked with many families who have to adjust bedtime routine to fit their needs. The big thing that it is consistent night after night and that your little one knows exactly what is expected of them!
Is playtime okay to take place in a playroom and not the bedroom?
Hi, thanks for this. It works for us. Although I don't know what to do when she wakes up and night and what to be with us in our bed. Thanks
Hey there! This is a great question and we would LOVE to help you tackle this challenge! Could you please copy/paste the above message and email it to support@littlezsleep.com so that we can give you the best guidance?? Thank you!!!💛
Where should we do a nighttime “bottle”? We rely pretty heavily on the nighttime bottle not for comfort but to make sure he gets his ounces in. He doesn’t “need” the bottle for comfort.
Hey there! Great question! We actually don't recommend any nighttime bottles for toddlers and recommend weaning off of bottles by 13 months! If you are concerned with his calorie intake, then we would recommend reaching out to your pediatrician! If you feel like you need more help in regards to dropping the bottle and independent sleep, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at support@littlezsleep.com and we would love to help more! 💛 Becca
Thanks for the reply! We could easily put him down without the bottle. It’s more of a nutritional concern because a bulk of his calcium intake happens during the evening bottle. But I’ll take your advice and contact pediatrician. Thanks again!
everyone says BATHTIME BEFORE BED and that makes me so confused... my kids have a bath before dinner because BATH MAKES THEM SO HUNGRY, ALWAYS!!! What am I supposed to do about that, any advice??? I have a 2,5 year old and an 8 year old, expecting my third within a couple of months..
Hey Mika! If doing bath before dinner works for you, that can be okay! I teach bath before bed because a) it gets them cleaned up from dinner b) it's a great cue that sleep is coming d) providing a bath as a way for the body temperature to warm up and then cool down when exiting the bath actually helps the body prepare for sleep when our temperatures naturally go down slightly.
@@littlezsleep i mean i am hoping to achieve a more structured bedtime routine with my toddler right now. Normally a bath is not in our bedtime routine- it's something we do after we come back home from work/nursery/after school activities. After a bath my kids have dinner and they go play. It takes me ages to get my son to whine down. He brushes his teeth, we do yoga, then we read a book or two, then potty and we cuddle up and go to sleep. I am worried that we need to change things up, because he needs a good 30-40min yoga to whine down and now that i'm heavily pregnant it's hard for me to keep up with him (yoga used to involve me lifting him up on my feet, us doing a rock-a-boat and other things i struggle with right now), and then we lay in bed until he falls asleep, which sometimes takes up to 1,5 hours. I know this bedtime routine might not be something i can commit to every evening after the baby arrives since i am planning to exclusively breastfeed her, therefore my hubby might not be able to keep her happy without me for that long. Any advice on how to adjust our routine and how to get this 2,5 cuddle monster to fall asleep without me?
I find that if they get to play together after the bath it really winds my baby up and they stay up for a couple more hours. They are 1.5 & 5 yrs old
Hey Carissa, playtime can help your child feel connected during bedtime routine. You could try a calmer form of play. For a while, my girls really liked playing card games during bedtime. That could be an option for your 5 year old :)
If I had my nanny over could she use the exact same routine as what I would?
Yes, absolutely! That's the beauty of having a routine - anyone can help!
She would play for hours
That's where timers come into play, they will still resistant the first couple of times but after that they will hear the timer and know they have to go to bed - u just have to make that the rule- works for me
I do this but still my baby screems to just enter the bed also je just wants to be feed asleep 13 month
Hey there! The tips in the video are meant to help little one's who know how to sleep independently! If your little one needs to learn that skill, I encourage you to check out our Baby Sleep Program 💛 littlezsleep.com/baby
Tell me how to get my baby boy (20 months old) in his bed? I want my bed back 😩
Hi Tay! My Toddler E-Coaching program will give you a plan to get your little one back in his crib and sleeping through the night independently! littlezsleep.com/toddler
MAM
we don’t have different room for the toddler because of small house.
My daughter sleeps in the bed between me and my wife.
She in 18months old. Everyday she sleeps at 1 am at night exhausting us.
Please Guide
How do we get her to sleep at time
Please
Hey there! I have worked with many families who room share, but still have their child sleep independently in their own crib. I recommend my Toddler E-Coaching! littlezsleep.com/toddler
Same problem. And i have to work the next day. My youngest sleeps between 12 and 1am every single night for 6 mos now and its driving me and my husband nuts! He wakes up really late, doesnt nap until its late afternoon hence the late sleeping time but no matter how hard we try he just wouldnt nap in the middle of the day. Help!
Do you have a video for a 4 year old?
We do a lot of play in our bedtime just like you said. It's not what people normally think. It does feel counter-intuitive at first. But I think going to bed feeling safe, connected, calm, and happy is vitally important for human health and development. I would even be willing to place a bet that a really love-oriented bedtime experience and feeling could reduce sleep distress related occurrences like bad dreams and night terrors. I'd love to see a study on that. Treatment of night terrors and distress by basically having Miss Honey from Matilda as your sleep guide. That sounds good to me. If you fall asleep every night happy... that's gotta be a good thing.
Hey! So the bedtime routine is generally the same until elementary years where they can do things more independently!
My girl is struggling to go to sleep and that play time is a no no
Can’t wait to try this out with our toddler! What if after putting him in the crib he still cries for us? Do I let him cry it out?
NO
Yes, if u want a more independent child - my son and daughter have to get over their own emotions and not rely on me to do so, but u have to be consistent with it, put a camera in their room so u can make sure they are okay without interacting with them and let them cry - research has shown over and over that there are NO negative consequences to letting ur child cry it out - just make sure they have a clean diaper, drink of water and they will be fine - they need to learn to handle their own emotions, that training starts at about 6 months old
Hi Becca, I don't know if you will ever read this, but I need your help. I have a beautiful 22 month old girl who is sharing the room with her beautiful 9 month old sister. Thanks to your channel we have made amazing (truly!!) progress regarding their sleep. My question is how can I incorporate the toddler's last play of the day in her night routine when it is also time for the baby to sleep in their room and simultaneously avoiding going back to the living room? I have searched your channel and watched lots of your videos but didn't find one that would help me. If there is one, please let me know. Thank you thank you thank you for all you've done for us so far and thank you in advance for your response ❤️
Hey there, Joanna! This is a great question! Here are a few options! 1) You can stagger their bedtimes by 15-20 minutes, put baby down first, play with your toddler outside of the room as well as finish your bedtime routine, and then sneak your toddler into the bedroom for the night! 2) You can simply incorporate the one-on-one play before bath, beginning your bedtime routine with it, and keep both girls going down at the same time!
Hi, does having a glow in the dark toy affect a child's sleep?
Hey! Here at Little Z's, we recommend a completely dark sleep space! It could be affecting their sleep if it waking them up or they are waking up not able to get back to sleep! If you would like more help, would you mind emailing in to us at support@littlezsleep.com and we would love to provide some more guidance for you! 💛 Becca
I don't feel like playing is the best idea for my kids because when they start they will not stop
This is where a toddler clock comes in handy! Check out my 4-step color system ua-cam.com/video/iK1-V35JYgM/v-deo.html
Two things, I thought bathing everyday would be harmful for the skin.
Also with keeping toys and such in the toddler's bedroom cause them to get up at night in a normal bed and play with the toys?
Hey there, Raven! If your little one's skin is more sensitive and you do not want to bathe them every night, you can try doing a "wash cloth" bath by wiping down their hands and face with a warm towel. This is still an amazing way to prepare and signal their body it's almost time for sleep!
For young toddlers, ages 17 months - 3 years, we recommend keeping them in a crib as they don't yet understand the freedoms that come with an open bed.
If your toddler is 3 years of age or older, and they are in an open bed (yay!), we recommend implementing clear, consistent bedtime expectations (like the ones found in our toddler and preschool course). You can also choose to store their toys in a closet, "out of sight."
My child is 5 it take him 40 minutes to fall asleep 😢 tried every thing its effecting him in school
Hey Shymaa! At this age your child needs 11-12 hours of night time sleep! I would shift bedtime to reflect that!
Im watching this as an adult:) I age regress
My daughter has wavy hair! It takes me longer than 7 minutes just to wash it!
Sometimes bath time may be longer than 7 minutes, and that's totally okay! 7 minutes of time is just an example, and we know it will vary from family to family!
"They don't ever get to be in charge of things"? Have you met the kids these days? Btw, this routine is lengthy and not sustainable.