Steven Wright Hysteria stand up

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  • Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
  • Steven Wright stand up taken from the 'Hysteria' DVD. www.laughingsto...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,1 тис.

  • @djtato86
    @djtato86 4 роки тому +113

    A friend of mine has a trophy wife but apparently it wasn't first place.

  • @kevinhallisey5201
    @kevinhallisey5201 7 років тому +308

    Saw him in a small bar in NYC in late afternoon. Walked over to him, said "Hi, I love your work". He said "Thanks" and at that instant, his meal came. I graciously left him so he could eat, but that may STILL be my most favorite conversation of all time.

    • @SuperSawyerg
      @SuperSawyerg Рік тому +11

      your comment is priceless !!!!!

    • @imnnme
      @imnnme Рік тому +9

      Just watched him on Joe Rogan Experience #1985. What a centered cerebral funny creative dude. Love his style.

    • @McMillanScottish
      @McMillanScottish Рік тому +15

      One word out of Steven Wright goes a long way.

    • @michaelslater6839
      @michaelslater6839 Рік тому +2

      I walked up to Steve, and I said “I’m a man of few words” and he said, “Really? Me…”

    • @eNigma011
      @eNigma011 Рік тому +6

      How were you able to walk into a "small bar"? Thought you'd have to crawl into them.

  • @jordanblatter1595
    @jordanblatter1595 8 років тому +329

    "I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

  • @ronw5005
    @ronw5005 5 років тому +108

    "I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific." "I bought some batteries, but they weren't included...so I had to buy them again." Steven Wright

  • @tradewins
    @tradewins 8 років тому +649

    I went to see the ballet. All the dancers were standing on tiptoe. I said, "why don't they just get taller dancers?"

    • @YoutubeUser-nd8qv
      @YoutubeUser-nd8qv 6 років тому +2

      you should stick to your dayjob

    • @brendan3174
      @brendan3174 5 років тому +8

      LOLOL!!

    • @vhandarsh51
      @vhandarsh51 4 роки тому +8

      Nice. 😂😂

    • @lauras3612
      @lauras3612 3 роки тому +2

      LOL! I don't know how Stephen just keeps coming up with these so easily.

    • @tradewins
      @tradewins 3 роки тому +1

      @@lauras3612 Who says it's easy?

  • @jaketully9939
    @jaketully9939 8 років тому +505

    "sponges grow in the ocean, that kills me. i wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didnt happen?"
    pure gold

    • @stevew278
      @stevew278 8 років тому +5

      wouldn't be any deeper, the water was still there it was just inside a sponge and the sponge was inside the ocean - mind blown

    • @megadopolisthemagnificent.7936
      @megadopolisthemagnificent.7936 8 років тому +4

      me too. ruptured a lung. it was my favorite one, too.

    • @jimpatton8735
      @jimpatton8735 7 років тому

      Jake Tully c

    • @patricialevy13
      @patricialevy13 7 років тому

      Jake Tully indeed !

    •  7 років тому +3

      Its gold, Jerry, pure comedic gold.

  • @thelimetownjack
    @thelimetownjack 7 років тому +88

    @ 2:17 "There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

    • @Teltelteltelaja
      @Teltelteltelaja 6 місяців тому +5

      The line is the fishing rod's string

    • @ramonek9109
      @ramonek9109 Місяць тому

      Thanks for the explanation.​@@Teltelteltelaja

  • @JShepLord
    @JShepLord 6 років тому +225

    "If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?"
    I don't know if that audience is dense or what, but that joke fucking slayed me.

    • @AlexZander688
      @AlexZander688 3 роки тому +40

      The crowd was miming their laughs.

    • @brianthescarecrow9099
      @brianthescarecrow9099 3 роки тому +5

      Same! They just missed it!

    • @gregvance1136
      @gregvance1136 3 роки тому +12

      @@AlexZander688 hahahajJJHahahaha....
      Miming their laughter. I'm sure even Stephen Wright would appreciate that one.

    • @randymillhouse791
      @randymillhouse791 3 роки тому +6

      The audience is that dense.

    • @sheilamacdougal4874
      @sheilamacdougal4874 2 роки тому

      Maybe you're dense. It's not actually funny.

  • @mdfogarty
    @mdfogarty 10 років тому +127

    "Whenever somebody on the street asks me what time it is, I say 'Sorry, I'm not from around here.'"

    • @bassash
      @bassash 4 роки тому +10

      "somebody once asked me if I have the time. I said yes but not right now"

  • @miamoben
    @miamoben 10 років тому +145

    I went for a walk last night she said how long are you going to be gone. I said, " The whole time. "

  • @Paltheus
    @Paltheus 14 років тому +136

    One of the most amazing comedians of all-time....

  • @AlchemistTongueDrums
    @AlchemistTongueDrums 8 років тому +224

    A light in my room went out. I wonder where it is now.

    • @ExclusiveLM
      @ExclusiveLM 8 років тому +3

      +ReubenRabinowitz ............ Why don't you ever see Puerto Ricans on Star Trek............ because they are not going to work in the future either. Fat women wear a sheep as a tampon. Thank you very much. -- Steven Wright.

    • @agiar2000
      @agiar2000 6 років тому +8

      There's a light switch that doesn't do anything in my house. I kept flipping it off and on, until one day I got a letter from a lady in Germany saying "quit it."

  • @whatifcatsare2201
    @whatifcatsare2201 10 років тому +122

    I love Steven Wright so much! His dry delivery just accents these jokes perfectly!

  • @dude1988
    @dude1988 12 років тому +46

    "I stayed up last night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

  • @poetcomic1
    @poetcomic1 3 роки тому +146

    He found his perfect groove and never left it. Amazing longevity and creativity.

    • @gregvance1136
      @gregvance1136 3 роки тому +4

      What IS he doing nowadays?

    • @poetcomic1
      @poetcomic1 3 роки тому +2

      @@gregvance1136 His website has tickets for sale this fall 2021 in Scottsdale AZ, Florida etc.

    • @gregvance1136
      @gregvance1136 3 роки тому +3

      @@poetcomic1 ok k. Great. Thank you.

    • @SamP0rterBridges
      @SamP0rterBridges 2 роки тому +1

      @@gregvance1136 he just had a show in reno

  • @JohnJBaril
    @JohnJBaril 8 років тому +73

    "I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now when I drive at night it looks like I'm the only one moving."
    Steven Wright

  • @scvideos4636
    @scvideos4636 9 років тому +283

    Steven Wright once said...."If god took acid, would he see people?" LOL

    • @Poultrypoundcake
      @Poultrypoundcake 3 роки тому +6

      That's super important

    • @BlueVooch
      @BlueVooch 3 роки тому +6

      @Barbara Guest WTF?

    • @cracker7836
      @cracker7836 3 роки тому +3

      @@BlueVooch I was just about to type the same thing.

    • @EllieLindhorst
      @EllieLindhorst 3 роки тому +1

      Dude god is people and we are in control and not in control, the trick is how

    • @debraguess3541
      @debraguess3541 2 роки тому

      @@BlueVooch nu by h6 by dgg

  • @lot24
    @lot24 9 років тому +157

    My grandma called me over and said "Here's five dollars- don't tell your mom I'm giving this to you"
    I said "It'll cost you more than that:

    • @ExclusiveLM
      @ExclusiveLM 8 років тому +9

      +lot24 .............. She ended up re-financing her home just to keep me quiet. Sincerely, Steven W.

  • @Jaxson07
    @Jaxson07 5 років тому +37

    I once saw a sign that said "Wet Floor", so I did.

  • @park1059
    @park1059 8 років тому +132

    Why did hardly anyone laugh at the mime joke? That was one of the best ones.

    • @cb2308
      @cb2308 7 років тому +7

      IKR? I thought that was hilarious.

    • @tdylan
      @tdylan 7 років тому +7

      I think they couldn't make out what was said. I had to rewind to figure it out.

    • @agiar2000
      @agiar2000 6 років тому +1

      5:12 for reference.

    • @RIXRADvidz
      @RIXRADvidz 5 років тому +10

      the best response to that is , ''they were laughing in mime''. can't stop giggling

    • @dyzway
      @dyzway 3 роки тому +3

      I think it was too quick for them. I liked it.

  • @rezatavakolee1075
    @rezatavakolee1075 7 років тому +98

    One of his best liners,
    " right now I am having amnesia & de javu at the same time ".

    • @codybluetarp
      @codybluetarp 3 роки тому +3

      Being In the Moment = Forgetful Remembrance.

    • @mackenzieusher8025
      @mackenzieusher8025 3 роки тому +5

      déjà vu just fyi

    • @realPenrodPooch
      @realPenrodPooch 6 місяців тому

      I have a weird feeling that I've forgotten that joke before.

    • @jspatz1
      @jspatz1 4 місяці тому

      I thought I had de javu, but it turns out I just do the exact same thing every day.

  • @gybx4094
    @gybx4094 8 років тому +49

    He's the most original comedian ever. I saw his first-ever appearance on Johnny Carson and was stunned at the depth of the jokes. Really, he's one of the all time greats.

  • @crashburn3292
    @crashburn3292 9 років тому +424

    You could make an argument that Steven Wright is the most original comic ever. Several of his one-liners could be considered as funny and as original as they get. For instance:
    * I had some instant water but didn't know what to add.
    * Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
    * Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
    * If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
    Some people who are not into his humor (the same people who think Monty Python isn't funny) assume this is just the work of a "stoner." Really, who else thinks of jokes like these? Like Steve Martin, the guy has been brilliant for decades.

    • @phishfearme2
      @phishfearme2 9 років тому +23

      Corey Bayless great examples - my favorite is his dog he named "Stay" - as a puppy he liked to confuse it - "come here, Stay"

    • @sjnagele
      @sjnagele 9 років тому +16

      +Crashburn 32 *it's a small world but i wouldn't want to paint it

    • @mrteddystamp
      @mrteddystamp 9 років тому +8

      +Crashburn 32 I prefer to listen to him tell them instead of someone posting them under a video of him telling them

    • @nyonelove7617
      @nyonelove7617 9 років тому +4

      +Crashburn 32 His one liners destroy other one liner comics like Dangerfield.

    • @BlankUberEverybody
      @BlankUberEverybody 8 років тому +9

      +Crashburn 32 from the first time I heard him to hearing him just now I think he is brilliant. What a sense of humor, material and timing. . ..

  • @richardkajander1126
    @richardkajander1126 7 років тому +140

    The verbal equivalent of Larsen's "The Far Side".

  • @RychuAlolan
    @RychuAlolan 10 років тому +115

    Generally comics avoid telling straight up "jokes" but this guy does it so well

    • @keithulhul7540
      @keithulhul7540 6 років тому +2

      This was a different era.

    • @Katya_Lastochka
      @Katya_Lastochka 6 років тому +4

      John Huffington Toughen up.

    • @greglambert6493
      @greglambert6493 6 років тому +2

      John, if you don't think he is funny there is something seriously wrong with you. He is one of the best comedians of all time.

    • @dreambeliever5150
      @dreambeliever5150 6 років тому

      Greg Lambert
      He is.so is george carlin and bill hicks.. They are beauty in their profession. Bill hicks is still my top.

    • @erainmartinez8175
      @erainmartinez8175 2 роки тому +1

      I have known him The Swan Princess playing a Turtle name Speedy

  • @PalKrammer
    @PalKrammer 3 роки тому +113

    I love how he generalizes an abstract concept to create humor: “some people are afraid of heights - I’m afraid of widths”. Also: “I was doing 100 miles an hour and a cop pulled me over. He said, ‘Don’t you know the speed limit is 40 miles per hour?’ I said, ‘Yeah, but I wasn’t going to be out that long’ “

    • @DavidSmith-ef4eh
      @DavidSmith-ef4eh 2 роки тому +1

      Stupid joke. That wouldn't be a "speed limit" but a "distance limit"...

    • @rudolphguarnacci197
      @rudolphguarnacci197 Рік тому +12

      @@DavidSmith-ef4eh
      He's not as witty as you.

    • @standardofexcellence
      @standardofexcellence Рік тому +4

      What i do everytime I'm pulled over from now on

    • @bikersoncall
      @bikersoncall Рік тому +2

      @@DavidSmith-ef4eh If someone texted you saying to
      get home quick your house was on fireh, you'd correct
      their spelling and also say you live in a trailer not a house,
      hang up and ignore the call.

    • @DavidSmith-ef4eh
      @DavidSmith-ef4eh Рік тому

      @@bikersoncall It was supposed to be sarcasm mixed with cynicism and funny in a way where I portray myself as someone who is supposedly smart, but doesn"t understand a simple joke..

  • @Stevarino1020
    @Stevarino1020 8 років тому +81

    "I had a very unexciting childhood.My high school colors wear clear," Flat out comedic genius.

    • @Magnum-bh5no
      @Magnum-bh5no 3 роки тому +5

      * were

    • @rudolphguarnacci197
      @rudolphguarnacci197 Рік тому +2

      @@Magnum-bh5no
      You're fun at parties.

    • @Claego
      @Claego Рік тому +1

      ​@@rudolphguarnacci197 the joke literally didn't land because of the spelling error go eat glass

    • @rudolphguarnacci197
      @rudolphguarnacci197 Рік тому +1

      @@Claego
      Thanks. I will. And enjoy it.

    • @rudolphguarnacci197
      @rudolphguarnacci197 Рік тому

      @@Claego
      Oh, sorry, i wasn't even talking to you. Why the glass?

  • @saenz1379
    @saenz1379 10 років тому +43

    Put your seatbelt on, I wanna try somethin'.

    • @sonofnothing
      @sonofnothing 9 років тому +4

      saenz1379 I saw it in a cartoon, but I'm sure I can do it.

    • @sjs928
      @sjs928 5 років тому +1

      ...How far do you think you're gonna get...?
      Fell outta my chair...

  • @stewartnicol3028
    @stewartnicol3028 6 років тому +294

    The most under appreciated comedy genius ever.

    • @Mario_N64
      @Mario_N64 3 роки тому +9

      Well, he did win an Academy Award.

    • @orphanoforbit7588
      @orphanoforbit7588 3 роки тому +11

      Why is that all anyone knows how to say anymore...?

    • @randonceccoli8428
      @randonceccoli8428 3 роки тому +3

      If that were true you wouldn't know who he is

    • @murker1879
      @murker1879 3 роки тому +2

      Fuk ppl who leave these comments

    • @7919-d6x
      @7919-d6x 2 роки тому

      Fa sho

  • @louiseridder8738
    @louiseridder8738 8 років тому +16

    a priest, a rabbi, and a reverend walk into a bar.....the bartender looks up puzzled and says, "So what's this, a joke?" har-har we need more Steven Wrights on planet earth...maybe we would change from flat and become round again..

  • @kidsomers94
    @kidsomers94 9 років тому +123

    is this the guy from the couch in half baked?

    • @mikemears3414
      @mikemears3414 9 років тому +7

      +Chaz Somers Yes, yes he is.

    • @richarddortch1319
      @richarddortch1319 8 років тому +1

      +Chaz Somers Indeed

    • @brooklynjb3112
      @brooklynjb3112 8 років тому +2

      +Chaz Somers thank you i didnt know where i seen him before and it was driving me crazy lol

    • @roccoramos1358
      @roccoramos1358 8 років тому +3

      omg its Guy!!

    • @ExclusiveLM
      @ExclusiveLM 8 років тому +11

      +Chaz Somers .............. I wasn't acting in that. I really live on different movie sets. -- Sincerely Steven W.

  • @bufordpusser424
    @bufordpusser424 8 років тому +76

    The "shoot a mime" joke was hilarious............
    I guess these people had either heard the joke before.................or they didn't get it.

    • @ExclusiveLM
      @ExclusiveLM 8 років тому +4

      +Buford Pusser ............. A blind comedian's worse nightmare is performing on front of a group of mimes.

    • @mauivu6307
      @mauivu6307 8 років тому +5

      follow it with, "Only if you shoot him in a library."

    • @nomadpi1
      @nomadpi1 8 років тому +4

      He recycles his jokes - expecting a newer group (generation). I've heard some of them several times thru the years.

    • @verve92
      @verve92 8 років тому +6

      "I used to be a translator for bad mimes."

    • @VrNghtOwl
      @VrNghtOwl 7 років тому +1

      Buford Pusser one I thought of when I heard that. If a deaf person watches a mine does he know what he's saying?

  • @CrystalsandCandles
    @CrystalsandCandles 7 років тому +106

    One of the best comedians ever in my opinion

    • @mikerainwater6154
      @mikerainwater6154 4 роки тому

      James ur a BADASS

    • @antarcticorb9197
      @antarcticorb9197 3 роки тому +3

      He was in my class at Emerson College..used to cut up the class all the time... 😆

  • @Geoffronn
    @Geoffronn 8 років тому +37

    I want to get a life sized tattoo of myself, only bigger.

  • @jonathanlapp9003
    @jonathanlapp9003 Рік тому +14

    It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it. Pure genius

  • @36isnotold
    @36isnotold 9 років тому +67

    He is brilliant. My favorite comedian of all time! My sister and I wore out our bootlegged VHS tape that we had of him in the early '90's. Even now when we see each other, we have to recite at least half of his act.

  • @brendan3174
    @brendan3174 5 років тому +31

    I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.

    • @Cashcrop54
      @Cashcrop54 3 роки тому +1

      I saw that line used in an episode of Be Cool Scooby Doo called “Mystery 101”. The episode was released in 2015 so it would seem someone saw Steven but I didn’t see any credit for it.

    • @seanfrank32
      @seanfrank32 4 місяці тому

      I love that line. 😂😂😂

  • @rd-pd8xb
    @rd-pd8xb 9 років тому +89

    "If you could know how and when you'd die, would you want to know?""No.""Forget it then".

    • @lucasimmons075
      @lucasimmons075 7 років тому +1

      I don't really understand that joke. Mind explaining it?

    • @Triton1051
      @Triton1051 7 років тому +10

      Luca Simmons+ I will! lol The idea is that the person is asking, 'would you want to know _how_ and _when_ you were going to die? Both are very specific pieces of information; the person asking would probably only know for sure, both *how and when* if they were planning on taking the actions causing the other ones death. This is confirmed by the reply (to the answer "no") _never mind then_ it's like saying, 'OK i won't tell you how (or when) i am planning on killing you'. I think the subtlety of this this joke makes it one of his better ones, hope this helps ^^

    • @lucasimmons075
      @lucasimmons075 7 років тому

      Ok thanks I was thinking that but I wasn't sure if it was just about someone being bewildered that someone wouldn't want to know

    • @Itemtotem
      @Itemtotem 7 років тому

      rd711 you fucked it up

    • @bboooobbyy
      @bboooobbyy 7 років тому +7

      The House of Ten Genres: Yes, but the humor is derived from the fact that the question is posed as a _hypothetical_ in the set-up. The punchline (never mind then...) makes you realize that it was not a hypothetical question but something that the questioner was privy to (either from psychic ability or through knowledge of a plot to kill him). The sudden realization that the question was not hypothetical is surprising and thus funny.

  • @robertzeurunkl8401
    @robertzeurunkl8401 5 років тому +21

    2:16 - I love this one. It's so clever. At first, it's funny "just because" of the mental picture. Then you connect the "thin line" bit, and you laugh again. You can actually hear the audience do it.

    • @spacehos
      @spacehos 11 місяців тому

      Wow the literal pun went over my head, thanks!

  • @ddarkshark
    @ddarkshark 6 років тому +37

    i had a friend who was a radio announcer, everytime he drove under a bridge, he stopped talking.

  • @walkermorris5911
    @walkermorris5911 11 років тому +14

    my favorite Steven Wright is,If a mime gets arrested would he have the right to remain sileint

  • @DavidfromBA
    @DavidfromBA 5 років тому +27

    "My plans to be spontaneous fell through at the last minute."
    "I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one."

  • @squatch545
    @squatch545 10 років тому +12

    One time I put instant coffee in the microwave. I almost went back in time.

  • @sandothemando8924
    @sandothemando8924 3 роки тому +16

    'Drove past a shop window the other day with two signs on it: help wanted, self-service. So I went in and hired myself'...

  • @bikeh
    @bikeh 3 роки тому +10

    It makes me happy to see a Steven Wright video with this many views.

  • @irishelk3
    @irishelk3 10 років тому +63

    I thought the silencer one was the best barley anyone laughed at it.

    • @johnegbert9167
      @johnegbert9167 6 років тому +16

      They were laughing in mime.

    • @RIXRADvidz
      @RIXRADvidz 5 років тому +2

      @@johnegbert9167 this joke keeps giving, it's a year later and I just started laughing at it. thanks for that one!

    • @muskokamike127
      @muskokamike127 5 років тому +3

      I think you mean barely, barley is what they make beer out of!

    • @bubblesescapesneverland1702
      @bubblesescapesneverland1702 5 років тому +1

      My favorite joke of his

    • @user-fg5fs5ym6q
      @user-fg5fs5ym6q 5 років тому

      He was already famous and EVERYONE knew most of his jokes by then

  • @thehighhopes5336
    @thehighhopes5336 7 років тому +21

    paranoid retriever. that's hilarious

  • @yourhandlehere1
    @yourhandlehere1 4 роки тому +48

    He told the exact same jokes the last time I watched this...

    • @copernicofelinis
      @copernicofelinis 3 роки тому +4

      Stop writing the same comment!

    • @666xxxful
      @666xxxful 3 роки тому +3

      It's even better in reverse!

    • @mikebledsoe2315
      @mikebledsoe2315 3 роки тому +2

      *"Best comment here good one"-👍😂*

    • @robrob2888
      @robrob2888 3 роки тому

      That is the funniest comment I have ever read.

  • @ginadisbrow9324
    @ginadisbrow9324 3 роки тому +8

    The "sponges growing in the ocean" joke broke me. I've been a Steven Wright fan for years. I miss the hey days of his, Mitch Hedberg's (RIP), Jerry Seinfeld's, Rodney Dangerfield's, Jack Benny's, et. al. The days of true comic wit, sans vulgar language and innuendo are over.

  • @Nihilism2011
    @Nihilism2011 9 років тому +52

    Intelligent humour for intelligent people. I love surrealism in all forms - art, music, literature and comedy.

  • @adrienneposta
    @adrienneposta 12 років тому +102

    Thiis guy is one of the few American stand up comedians that can make me laugh out loud, the man's a legend !

    • @texastinman7639
      @texastinman7639 3 роки тому +2

      He’s Canadian

    • @NickB1313
      @NickB1313 3 роки тому +6

      @@texastinman7639 He's from Massachusetts. Unless you're thinking of his role in Canadian Bacon.

    • @Marc-io8qm
      @Marc-io8qm 3 роки тому +6

      Try Mitch Hedberg

    • @BirdwellingtonAmalgamation
      @BirdwellingtonAmalgamation 2 роки тому +1

      @@Marc-io8qm came to say the same thing.

    • @andycraddock7677
      @andycraddock7677 2 роки тому

      @adrieneposta: 10 years later he’s STILL a comic genius!

  • @dougpius6670
    @dougpius6670 7 років тому +21

    I spilled spot remover on my dog, now I can't find him.

    • @seculi7757
      @seculi7757 4 роки тому

      His dog is named Spot.
      Spot the Dog.

    • @chado3000
      @chado3000 4 роки тому

      @@seculi7757 I do not spot him anywhere.

  • @nector6535
    @nector6535 11 років тому +12

    whats another word for thesaurus

  • @tedbullock1479
    @tedbullock1479 11 років тому +21

    'Whenever I think about the past it just brings back so many memories' its so brilliantly out of context, superb comedian.

    • @richarquis
      @richarquis 2 роки тому +4

      I can't wait to live in the moment!

  • @tomeverett2212
    @tomeverett2212 3 роки тому +10

    This guy could single handedly destroy any AI.

  • @robbbyyy25
    @robbbyyy25 10 років тому +47

    This guy is trying so hard not to laugh at his own jokes, and he does a great job at it..its his character, for that i respect him..love you STEVE!

    • @joseadriansaez5494
      @joseadriansaez5494 7 років тому

      Steven

    • @wesleyalan9179
      @wesleyalan9179 4 роки тому +1

      @@joseadriansaez5494 lol..why would you feel the need to correct the guy for saying Steve for?
      ...just weird
      (That Comment was 3years old when you corrected it.
      Now its 6years old..
      3years later after YOUR comment, i talk shit too you...we need lives)

  • @SiliconClassics
    @SiliconClassics 5 років тому +9

    "I used to work at a factory that made fire hydrants. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."

  • @jameswiblishauser9745
    @jameswiblishauser9745 Рік тому +18

    His comedy is deep and stupid at the same time, definitely one of my favorites

  • @hugohackenbush1554
    @hugohackenbush1554 2 роки тому +11

    I was at this show. He, was my favourite act of the night. Could easily have halved the other acts and let Steven do an hour.

  • @bellmeisterful
    @bellmeisterful 5 років тому +8

    I came home and everything had been replaced with an exact duplicate.

  • @Amon2012able
    @Amon2012able 8 років тому +36

    this guy is a GENIUS

  • @dongriffis5709
    @dongriffis5709 3 роки тому +8

    The Best! Steven kills! Not on this one, but one of my favorites is, "Every once in a while, I lean out my window, look in the sky and just wave. In case anyone's taking a satellite photo."

  • @michaelrunyan6591
    @michaelrunyan6591 7 років тому +20

    I was invited to a nudist camp but didn't have anything to wear.

  • @morlokvestai-kurak9680
    @morlokvestai-kurak9680 3 роки тому +5

    Never go see Steven Wright when you're high. I don't know how but, somehow, I'm still there. 😲🤪😶🧐

  • @MrJohnnyDistortion
    @MrJohnnyDistortion 3 роки тому +4

    "What's another word for thesaurus?" 🤣😄🤪

  • @orphanoforbit7588
    @orphanoforbit7588 3 роки тому +6

    This guy and Mitch Hedburg break my ribs. I have a headache from laughing so hard I can't inhale a breath. If I die it will be worth it.

  • @anthonytaylor9542
    @anthonytaylor9542 9 років тому +10

    Kenny called; he's in jail, he didn't leave a number, sincerely: THE GUY ON THE COUCH.

  • @SokSa
    @SokSa 11 років тому +9

    I love, how it takes a few seconds for the joke to work and laughter gradually increases. LoL

  • @formusicplaylist1
    @formusicplaylist1 8 років тому +34

    The audio makes me unable to focus on the jokes. i guess back in the day there was a lot of buzz around this guy.

  • @FlatFeeDjs
    @FlatFeeDjs 10 років тому +9

    I bought a packet of batteries for a christmas present and they weren't included

  • @TheCobalt100
    @TheCobalt100 11 років тому +9

    Recently, I watched this very funny documentary about a paralyzed veteran who was trying to do a stand-up comedy routine.

    • @thejoyofsoxmovie7211
      @thejoyofsoxmovie7211 3 роки тому

      There's actually a quadriplegic fellow who does "sit down comedy". Also from Boston, named Will Lautzenheiser. "Did you hear the one about the comedian with no limbs?": ua-cam.com/video/mnrmYoWqMLM/v-deo.html

  • @noelegan1208
    @noelegan1208 3 роки тому +5

    Have to admit, to my shame, that I had not heard of this guy until tonight. Watching a BBC comedy documentary and his name came up. This guy is genius. One of the best ever. Remember the line about a friend of his who had false teeth with braces! Or who had side burns behind his ears! It just creased me!!🤣🤣🤣😋

  • @CheekSqeeker15
    @CheekSqeeker15 15 років тому +36

    i like how he never smiles...just keeps a straight face....its halarious this guy is so funny

  • @simonrandall5471
    @simonrandall5471 8 років тому +10

    I live at the end of a one way, dead end street.

  • @gyfordjonathan3582
    @gyfordjonathan3582 6 років тому +7

    I went to the doctor today and told him " I keep feeling like a dog ". He asked " how long has this been going on? ". I replied " since I was a puppy!! ".

    • @robj144
      @robj144 Рік тому

      Whose joke is that?

  • @kcampbell562
    @kcampbell562 8 років тому +41

    The original mitch hedgberg

  • @Tuna_Casperole
    @Tuna_Casperole 5 років тому +5

    If you heard no laughs at the 5:12 joke, it's because they were mimes.

  • @adaptiveagile
    @adaptiveagile 10 років тому +8

    Always one of my fave comedians. This is one of his best performances IMHO. A true original.

  • @Mr.PXsalms555
    @Mr.PXsalms555 Рік тому +3

    I like to fill my tub up with water then turn the shower on and act like I’m in a submarine that’s been hit!! 😂😂

  • @VastHobbes
    @VastHobbes 12 років тому +15

    I always love when he cracks a smile every now and then when one of his jokes goes over the audiences head.

  • @trueherbsman
    @trueherbsman 7 років тому +61

    one liner king!

    • @amyntut
      @amyntut 6 років тому +1

      and Rodney Dangerfield was.

    • @bluehelium5780
      @bluehelium5780 6 років тому

      It has to be Rodney. He was more relentless and did better at not telling the same jokes.

  • @picvajzpikcers
    @picvajzpikcers 6 років тому +8

    Paranoid Retriever must be the best two liner I've ever heard.

  • @wildernesstraining1957
    @wildernesstraining1957 8 місяців тому +3

    Saw Steve perform at the Dominion Theatre on Tottenham Court Road in London around 1996

  • @HuckleberrySlim
    @HuckleberrySlim 10 років тому +10

    He got annoyed, as I would, when someone exclaimed "what???" immediately after the delivery of "if you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?" - you could see him wince, when they didn't get it - and the pained stifling of the desire to shout out the explanation, "because mimes dont make a sound you idiot!" - Steven Wright is a genius and has commitment to his artistic presentation - in contrast to another genius, with a different style - from a different era (playing for a more weathered audience today), Louis CK - who has no qualms about responding to inappropriate, and inappropriately timed comments with "just go home and kills yourself" lol I was craving for Steven Wright to shout that at him, in lieu of my quavering Shadenfreude, the secret delight at another's misfortune - except not your run of the mill 21st century jealous Shadenfreude - but rather the indignant joy in another's bold public stupidity, in the face of bold genius - it's that juicy crystal clear clashing juxtaposition that you just crave like a lion craves a meal immediately after the inappropriate comment - and it is clear what the relationship is going to be between those two qualities of consciousness - the classic, truest, most noble form of Shadenfreude - when you know they deserve it - and it's funny

  • @PDeRop
    @PDeRop 9 років тому +7

    Love this guy. The unscented perfume reminded me of my mother choosing the soap in the bubblebath at the amusement park.. She told me later, she had pressed "none" -- thinking it was a soap. :)

  • @thoughtsurferzone5012
    @thoughtsurferzone5012 8 років тому +6

    That mime joke laid an egg with this audience. He was surprised; you can tell.

    • @j7286
      @j7286 8 років тому +1

      +Anthony Scarlata I think he said the line too fast, and the word mime got muffled. I've heard it before, but it still took me a second.

    • @shawntco
      @shawntco 8 років тому

      +Anthony Scarlata Indeed. The way he moved himself at 5:17 was much quicker than his usual movements.

  • @brianw.costigan8146
    @brianw.costigan8146 9 років тому +5

    How did the SOUND get so bad??? Unlistenable....

  • @JustWasted3HoursHere
    @JustWasted3HoursHere 3 роки тому +3

    Steven was on Craig Ferguson's show once and said, "If I were you I'd be sitting over there" pointing to where Craig was sitting. For some reason that absolutely SLAYED me and I laughed a solid 10 minutes. Even half an hour later when I thought about it I busted out laughing once again. [edit: Found it! ua-cam.com/video/G7ZQwTDWTLI/v-deo.html Of course watching it now, many years later it doesn't have the same punch anymore, but still funny to me]

  • @thebigfist
    @thebigfist 11 років тому +4

    Agreed! He won`t repeat the line like some second rate comedians.If they fail to grasp it he just moves on."If you shoot a Mime, do you need a silencer?"-Great!

  • @wizardfromy
    @wizardfromy 5 років тому +2

    Steven Wright may be nutter than hell but funnier than hell too. He talks in a way that makes you think he believes what he says.

  • @pharcyde110573
    @pharcyde110573 15 років тому +15

    The master at his best....no one even comes close to this guy!!!

  • @VikefanTony
    @VikefanTony 13 років тому +4

    The audience didn't laugh at one of his best jokes. "If you shoot a mime, do you have to use a silencer?" That's funny!

  • @andytrimble5615
    @andytrimble5615 5 років тому +5

    Put on your seatbelt, I wanna try something... that made me crack up laughing

    • @NC-xk1eg
      @NC-xk1eg 8 місяців тому +1

      One of the best...but they're all so good!

  • @tannhauser7584
    @tannhauser7584 5 років тому +4

    "Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?"

  • @lotharofthehillpeople4381
    @lotharofthehillpeople4381 5 років тому +4

    My ears really enjoyed the surround sound!

  • @troy6636
    @troy6636 3 роки тому +4

    🙏💡😂😂 Always thought he was hilarious 😂🤷 His whole act is brilliant

  • @justcallmeassinine
    @justcallmeassinine 10 років тому +4

    Two magicians were walking down the street.One of them turned into a Taco Bell.
    How do you ring a taco bell,anyway ?

  • @thespisgmiller1
    @thespisgmiller1 12 років тому +1

    This audience was kinda dead...this was funny stuff but they didn't get a lot of it...oh well.

  • @kaki00105
    @kaki00105 8 років тому +24

    the audio quality

  • @OkRake
    @OkRake 2 роки тому +1

    The audio on this video made my brain wobble a bit