I had an uncle who worked for Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus, and when he died all of his friends went to the funeral in one car. - Steven Wright
Everyone is different...I didn't find him funny at all. Clever sometimes but nothing that tickles my funny bone. We can't help it! 😏 I have listened to a lot of dry bar specials and I've learned that if I don't laugh in the first 5 minutes, I won't laugh for the next 30 so I might as well skip it. Give your girlfriend a chance and have her find something she laughs at. You probably won't. 🙄
@@metooo-zo6dd It's easy to insult strangers on the Internet, but why would you say that? Everyone's sense of humor is a little different. If you don't know it yet, you must be very young. I have a friend who laughs her head off watching The Three Stooges. I don't find anything to laugh at. To me it's just men acting really dumb. But I can LOL at lines from Jane Austen that others don't find funny or don't understand. I like my humor extra dry. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? Can't we all be different but still okay? Sheesh.
You find Jane Austen (an author that almost invented dry humor) funny but not the funniest dry humor guy of the 20th-21st century? Your so called sense of humor is way off kilter. (You may have to look up ‘off kilter’ 😅)
One hell of a comic AND extraordinarily prolific. Even has an Academy Award! Definitely worth looking at his wiki page. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Wright
I'm not a prude or easily offended at all but it's so refreshing to see a comedian telling jokes that don't just rely on racial humour/stereotypes/"edgy" shock value, "it's funny because I shouldn't be laughing" crap. Can be done well enough but rarely and it gets old fast.
@@joanbrown2929 well, yeah. Thats how Bell curves work. If he wasn't in a minority as a very smart person, then "very smart" would be average, and not worthy of comment.
His delivery is impeccable. So dull contrasting the outlandish statements. It scratches my ear and funny bone so much, I love it. I also find it amusing to see which of his jokes are relatable these days.
omg, u are right. i never thought of that. Steven invented twitter indeed. Each day, i read over 200 steven wright type one liners on twitter. WOW. the man was a GENIUS.
One time my father and I had coffee and pastry in a crowded coffee place and this man was there and shared our table. I was really young child and didn’t yet realize who he is.
"For the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my shows are like a 90 minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is." ∼ Steven Wright
He's the funniest comedian I've ever heard! No one is as clever as he is. No cursing, no 'shocking' jokes, no shouting, just incredibly bizarre stuff that makes you think, then laugh.
Think if our experts were anywhere close to this level of organic intelligence rather than just being trained in their field. I bet he's a Mensa level brain.
I think he's hilarious! Very dry sense of humor and it's funny to watch him try not to laugh. I saw him in Vegas years ago too. I guess some people just don't get him....he does it w/o being raunchy too.
“How come you don’t call me anymore?” “I can’t call anyone I want, my phone has no 5 on it.” “That’s weird, how long have you had it ?” “I don’t know my calendar has no sevens” 💀
Very very clever man. Deserved much more kudos than what he got. But hey, it`s the world we live in. The joke about the short story in which a photographer goes completely insane trying to take a close-up of the horizon is my fav joke ever.
I like the "if I melt dry ice can I swim and not get wet" and "travelling at the speed of light and turn the headlights on" bits. What a comedian!! The man is simply awesome.
Tears running down my cheeks, comedy on acid , deadpan delivery supreme, this was unbelievably funny I'm ready for part two now ! Heard of him before, fishing line joke was pretty famous back then, but never knew he was this good..brilliant , just brilliant
About 30 years ago I stumbled on this very show on the comedy channel on a Qantas flight. I laughed continuously and the poor bloke sitting next to me must have wondered what medications I was on. Anyway, fast forward to the present and it turns out that my son-in-law's sister is engaged to a guy who not only looks like Steven Wright but even sounds like him! I want to tell him who he resembles but he's too young to appreciate what that means.
Agree with Far Side reference, and difficulty picking a favorite. Wonder if Gary and Steven knew each other. I’ll bet they at least appreciated each other. My favorite Steven Wrightism: Have you ever tried to imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?
"I used to work at the factory where they made hydrants, but you couldn't park anywhere near the place." So simple but one of my favorite all time jokes... I miss this one liner comedy!
One time I called a cemetery to make a reservation, they said I couldn’t do that until I buy a plot. I’ve been thinking about how expensive plans are ever since
He is a master of one liners. His whole act is essentially one liners. It's amazing. NASCAR drivers take the same turns every single race, why can't comedians repeat successful jokes- acts - routines? Nothing wrong with that. Awesome performance !!
The dudes persona onstage as this awkward, monotone one liner delivery type guy just makes me laugh everytime. No one can replicate stuff like this its true comedy. I'm a younger guy (24) and i want to find more comedy like this. Older or newer. I've always liked Wright
I used to work in a Helium Gas production factory. The boss there still speaks very highly of me.
He makes my...day !..and Night !
Fantastic
😆😂
I don’t get it!
🤣😂
“broke a mirror that’s supposed to be 7 years bad luck but my lawyer thinks he can get me 5”
I saw Steven years ago in Pittsburgh. My favorite joke of his of all time: "I like to tease my plants...so I water them with ice-cubes."
"Everywhere's walking distance if you have the time" Those are words to live by.
necromanz
And every book is a children's book if the kid can read according to Mitch Hedberg
there's probably a lot of different ideas of what "walking distance" means
necromanzer52 I think a character in Larry Nevin’s _Ring World_ used that quote.
Hodor :,(
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood outside and sang Happy Birthday. -Steven Wright
I had an uncle who worked for Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus, and when he died all of his friends went to the funeral in one car. - Steven Wright
Showed this to my girlfriend of seven years..she didn't laugh one time..I think it's over
Everyone is different...I didn't find him funny at all. Clever sometimes but nothing that tickles my funny bone. We can't help it! 😏 I have listened to a lot of dry bar specials and I've learned that if I don't laugh in the first 5 minutes, I won't laugh for the next 30 so I might as well skip it. Give your girlfriend a chance and have her find something she laughs at. You probably won't. 🙄
@@carnation_cat you sound unlikable
@@carnation_catyou don't have a sense of humor then
@@metooo-zo6dd It's easy to insult strangers on the Internet, but why would you say that? Everyone's sense of humor is a little different. If you don't know it yet, you must be very young.
I have a friend who laughs her head off watching The Three Stooges. I don't find anything to laugh at. To me it's just men acting really dumb. But I can LOL at lines from Jane Austen that others don't find funny or don't understand. I like my humor extra dry.
Whatever happened to "live and let live"? Can't we all be different but still okay? Sheesh.
You find Jane Austen (an author that almost invented dry humor) funny but not the funniest dry humor guy of the 20th-21st century? Your so called sense of humor is way off kilter. (You may have to look up ‘off kilter’ 😅)
I went to a restaurant. It said "breakfast any time." I ordered pancakes during the Renaissance.
Now that's funny~!!
French toast.
I can just imagine what a nightmare he would be in a restaurant. Lol 😂
@@blackjakko I would love to have him at a staff meeting!
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." I've been laughing ever since.
He is among the best one-liner comics ever.
One hell of a comic AND extraordinarily prolific. Even has an Academy Award! Definitely worth looking at his wiki page. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Wright
he’s not among the best, he is THE best
Among? No he IS the BEST !
Next to Mitch Hedberg, he is. ❤️
I always liked " I live at the end of a one way street. I can't get out"
I saw him live around 8 years ago and i haven't laughed that loud and that long for years. Brilliant man.
My favorite was when he just pauses & says
" *I lost a button hole..... Where am I going to get a button hole....* "
😂
“6,000 ants dressed up as rice and robbed a Chinese Restaurant” OMG, in tears.🤣
"I don't think they did it."
i know a few of them and they wouldnt do somthing like that@@KarlKrogmann
"If I melt dry ice can I swim without getting wet?" Hall of fame joke
+Barz McNeil
"If you want to shoot a mime would you use a silencer?"
Now, THAT'S dry.
I knew a mime who took a vow of silence.
Funny act,😊
Ooh
"I'm a peripheral visionary. I can see into the future but only way off to the sides."
There is only one Steven Wright. Sheer brilliance.
He certainly carved out a very unique style of comedy and success for himself. The guy is hysterical.
I'm not a prude or easily offended at all but it's so refreshing to see a comedian telling jokes that don't just rely on racial humour/stereotypes/"edgy" shock value, "it's funny because I shouldn't be laughing" crap. Can be done well enough but rarely and it gets old fast.
Brilliant. Just brilliant. He kills it every time.
" I've been selected for jury duty, it's kind of an insane case, 6000 ants dressed up as rice and robbed a Chinese restaurant."
I've been selling used tampons as tea bags for vampires.
He doesn’t get heckled because people are too busy trying to get his jokes.
Then they give up after awhile
He is very smart unlike alot of people
Good comment! LOL
@@joanbrown2929 well, yeah. Thats how Bell curves work. If he wasn't in a minority as a very smart person, then "very smart" would be average, and not worthy of comment.
quality is measured by laughter lag
His delivery is impeccable. So dull contrasting the outlandish statements. It scratches my ear and funny bone so much, I love it.
I also find it amusing to see which of his jokes are relatable these days.
My friend has a trophy wife. It wasn't for first place. Stands up pretty well.
I forgot to go to the gym today...
that's 3 years in a row now.
I woke up and everything in my house was replaced with an exact replica!
That's one of my favorites
I told one of my roommates “look everything fa been stolen and replaced with an exact replica!”. The roommate responded “Do I know you?”
The king of cerebral comedy from ( of course ) Massachusetts! You are a legend Steven!
I revisit this video every couple weeks. I feel like it humbles me.
this man indirectly invented weird twitter
omg, u are right. i never thought of that. Steven invented twitter indeed. Each day, i read over 200 steven wright type one liners on twitter. WOW. the man was a GENIUS.
Rodney Dangerfield much? 😒
Mitch hedburg much????
He invented weird memes as well... :) ;)
@@travisperry4515 wright is much more intelligent. Dry is not his main schtick.
It's the thought that works. The delivery style is just icing.
His deadpan delivery just makes his jokes all the funnier.
He went 90 miles per hour. We all got speeding tickets. TOO FUNNY!
Steven Wright - One of the best stand up comedians alive.
One time my father and I had coffee and pastry in a crowded coffee place and this man was there and shared our table. I was really young child and didn’t yet realize who he is.
steven wright enriches my life
Me too
The verbal equivalent of Gary Larson.
Richard Kajander yes! I just mentioned that in another video
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I dreamed I was asleep, then I awoke - and found I really was asleep.
"Sometimes you can't hear me, it's because that I'm sometimes in parentheses."
"I broke a mirror in my house and you're supposed to get seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five...."
I love all his jokes...they're all so clever. I can't pick a favorite.
It’s like trying to find your favorite Far Side cartoon
I love how the lucky audience genuinely laugh out in appreciation to Steven's witty humour.
It's the material, the face and the voice. Comic perfection. He's Lewis Carroll meets Henny Youngman.
Oh I’m so glad this came up in my feed. I forgot about this guy and how good he was. ❤
I bought batteries but they're weren't included, so I had to buy them again! The genius of double entendre's and plays on words.
Stephen Wright hardly ever cracks a smile when he does his comedy. I noticed that he did it a few times in this video.😂😂😂
He makes it look effortless. Quentin Tarantino should have put him in a movie.
K BILLY'S SUPER SOUNDS OF THE 70'S
@@monkeychu420 Holy shit!!! You're right
I have to footnote: He is in Reservoir Dogs (Tarantino) as the DJ. LOL thanks Monkey Chu
Absolute comedic genius
i love how he puts his hand on his forehead as a nervous reaction to DYING to laugh, very human.
I put freeze dried coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I put a skylight in my apartment. The people above me are furious.
"For the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my shows are like a 90 minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is." ∼ Steven Wright
He's the funniest comedian I've ever heard! No one is as clever as he is. No cursing, no 'shocking' jokes, no shouting, just incredibly bizarre stuff that makes you think, then laugh.
"depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." Steven Wright
Happy 66 Steven ! 🙂
This man is a genius
Think if our experts were anywhere close to this level of organic intelligence rather than just being trained in their field. I bet he's a Mensa level brain.
There once was a lady named Bright / Who traveled far faster than light / She left one day / In a relative way / And returned the preceding night.
I think he's hilarious! Very dry sense of humor and it's funny to watch him try not to laugh. I saw him in Vegas years ago too. I guess some people just don't get him....he does it w/o being raunchy too.
What do you mean he’s not raunchy? He’s raunchy as all get out. You just don’t get it.
@@clayz1 some have to act silly to be funny but he makes you think.
Too bad he has to be dirty when not on TV.
People who don't get his comedy are morons.
@@clayz1 you’re clazy
The parenthesis one was so subtly awesome
I never knew the guy on the couch did standup
Half-baked was awesome
damn, it must be torture for steven to keep from laughing during his set
My uncle was a weird guy, artificial legs....real feet.
"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time..."
He has the ability to say things so profound yet so hilarious
Emily Nixon
“How come you don’t call me anymore?”
“I can’t call anyone I want, my phone has no 5 on it.”
“That’s weird, how long have you had it ?”
“I don’t know my calendar has no sevens”
💀
One of his best.
@@kilgoretrout6136
Except for the fact that I think it might be one of his worst.
@@PreciousMental it's my favourite. Go fuck yourself.
It takes an exceptional mind to dream something like that up.
so love the," got a job as a proof reader for a sky writing company" lmfao and the etch a sketch one also :)
Brilliant , how the hell does he roll em out so consistently?
To make a career of doing stand up where most of your material is just one liners....thats special; thats talent.
Very very clever man. Deserved much more kudos than what he got. But hey, it`s the world we live in. The joke about the short story in which a photographer goes completely insane trying to take a close-up of the horizon is my fav joke ever.
just finished reading the dictionary. turns out the zebra did it.
Wright and Gallagher are the two classic standups I find myself quoting the most.
I like the "if I melt dry ice can I swim and not get wet" and "travelling at the speed of light and turn the headlights on" bits. What a comedian!! The man is simply awesome.
He’s a comedic genius!
Tears running down my cheeks, comedy on acid , deadpan delivery supreme, this was unbelievably funny
I'm ready for part two now !
Heard of him before, fishing line joke was pretty famous back then, but never knew he was this good..brilliant , just brilliant
About 30 years ago I stumbled on this very show on the comedy channel on a Qantas flight. I laughed continuously and the poor bloke sitting next to me must have wondered what medications I was on. Anyway, fast forward to the present and it turns out that my son-in-law's sister is engaged to a guy who not only looks like Steven Wright but even sounds like him! I want to tell him who he resembles but he's too young to appreciate what that means.
"Sometimes you can`t hear me because sometimes I'm in parentheses."
First time I saw this guy on TV I thought he looked like Robbie Krieger of the Doors. lol
Steven would light your fire with honey ants and a magnifying glass
Yes the Hell he does too dude!!!
@john smith it’s because he is. I haven’t seen Robbie Krueger and Wright in the same room
Strange days
"KENNY is in jail. He didnt leave a number."
"Sincerely, The Guy in the Couch"
Half Baked
Agree with Far Side reference, and difficulty picking a favorite.
Wonder if Gary and Steven knew each other. I’ll bet they at least appreciated each other.
My favorite Steven Wrightism:
Have you ever tried to imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?
Compared to his debut on Carson, a few bits the same, here the timing is honed to perfection.
A true innovator. He invented the surreal, one liners later used by Mitch Hedburg, Dimitri Martin and many others.
I love it when he starts cracking up at his own jokes
"I used to work at the factory where they made hydrants, but you couldn't park anywhere near the place." So simple but one of my favorite all time jokes... I miss this one liner comedy!
"I was a proof reader for a sky writing company." That cracked me up!
Sometimes I see a bit of this guy in in Mitch Hedberg's standup, I wonder if he was a fan. 2 of the best ever.
I like how he puts his hand on his head to stop himself laughing.
I do that too
He's the Twilight Zone of Comedy.
One of my favourite comedians, would love to see him live
Doing stand-up routines is not easy. I watched a documentary about a paralyzed veteran who tried to do a stand-up routine.
I certainly isn't easy remembering random one-liners as he does.
I heard it was so bad even he walked out early.
i love this guy he reminds me if my chemistry teacher became a comedian.
telling deadpan surreal jokes but trying not to snap every time
"I think it's great that Anonymous is famous for being unknown."
What's your point? Why are you quoting this line?
Thank you for uploading this!!! This is my favorite standup special from steven. he truly is the grandfather of standup comedy.
Only Steven Wright could produce a punchline of "I don't know, my calendar has no sevens."
My phone has no 7s.
6:32 After this joke some lady in the crowd yells out, "That's great. I gotta do that!" LMFAO
one of the greatest comedians of all time
One time I called a cemetery to make a reservation, they said I couldn’t do that until I buy a plot. I’ve been thinking about how expensive plans are ever since
He is a master of one liners. His whole act is essentially one liners.
It's amazing. NASCAR drivers take the same turns every single race, why can't comedians repeat successful jokes- acts - routines? Nothing wrong with that. Awesome performance !!
The dudes persona onstage as this awkward, monotone one liner delivery type guy just makes me laugh everytime. No one can replicate stuff like this its true comedy. I'm a younger guy (24) and i want to find more comedy like this. Older or newer. I've always liked Wright
mitch hedberg
The great thing about Steven Wright is that you can watch any of his shows and hear exactly the same jokes.
It's more likely that the jokes are all short and memorable .
I've memorized more of his jokes than any other comedian.
This guy is truly a comedic artist.
K Blly's Supersounds of the 70's
And the baheemuth hahhahhah
Just keeps on truckin...
🤣🤣😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
The blessings of whatever supreme being you worship upon you, uploader.Thanks for these videos.
"They should iron this."
Steven Wright and Brian Regan! Both are clean. Both are brilliant. Why are there so few comedians like this?
And Mitch Hedberg.
@@maryblaufuss7533 I used to like Mitch.
I still like Mitch,but I used to,too.
This guy is brilliant funny as hell! Thanks for posting!
I love this guy he's a fucking riot!!