Thank you so much for always being so open and gracious whenever I cover more serious topics on this channel. I hope you all enjoy this vid and sending lots of love and confidence to anyone who may be struggling with their relationship to alcohol
Not drinking makes you quickly realize how many adult social activities revolve around alcohol. And you can still go and not drink, but often times the entertainment just devolves to drunk humor, and it's not really that fun for anyone sober. Definitely a problem for making (and keeping) friends as an adult. I think a lot of young people never learn how to comfortably socialize without alcohol in hand.
@@EastWindCommunity1973 I'm not sober, but I hate being tipsy/drunk. I like alcoholic drinks for the taste and craft, and typically limit myself to just one drink. So I often find myself socially aligned with sober folks.
This is so true. It’s often agonizing and the drunk friends are always whining like “why are you leavinggggg early???” It’s 10pm and I’ve been around you for hours sober lol I’m leaving 😂
For me I also realized how many things I just don’t want to go do but feel obligated to. Drunk people are not that fun and smiling at sooo many people I don’t know is terrifying. Alcohol is a way to participate in things that just suck sometimes and when I realized that I felt so disconnected from my actual likes and dislikes. Now I try to act how I feel. Love not drinking because it made me more me! Love all of y’all sharing your experiences btw. Hugs for the lovelies in the comments.
I went sober in January but caved to peer pressure in June due to a vacation. I wasn't enjoying myself but I continued to participate and fall into the pressure. Since then, I have decided I am not going to drink again anymore. I feel great. It made me realize how some friends I only had in common was drinking and we had nothing else to talk about.
Even if you "failed", you still succeeded for almost 6 months, which is already a great achievement. Most people will slip up when trying to leave any substance, so try not to focus too much on the failures and look at what you managed to do instead. Good luck :)
Yes! I realized how little I had in common & how little I enjoyed being with the people I was drinking with! Now I am healthier & have healthier friendships!🤔🙂
Merle this is so weird, ive literally today decided to stop vaping and drinking and ive had a horrible day of cravings at work and come home and see this video, i dont believe in crystals or chance, but this is a wild sign to keep going. Thank you Merle as always x
Sobriety doesn’t mean giving up on being social it means finding a new way to be social. I’ve been sober for 6 years and it has really changed the way I viewed a lot of my old friendships and sadly some of those are gone. But you make new friends who have more similar goals and viewpoints. I have party’s every year and they are so much fun they are just very different a lot more actual games and more real memories because your not to intoxicated to remember. You find new ways to meet people other than going to party’s and clubs. And those are normally more genuine friends because you find them doing actual hobbies and things you like.
Totally agree with this! Since being sober (5years ago) I have lost a lot of my "friends" but I have met the most genuine people who are the most meaningful friends till this day ❤ Look for places to meet people other than parties! The climbing community is where I have met lots of great people :) Dare I say, quitting drinking at 20 has been the best decision I have made in my early adult life
Fully agree. I don't drink for medical reasons, and I do miss it sometimes. I "lost" a lot of the friends who don't know how to be around sober people, even when there is zero animosity or discomfort on my end. However, I've also found the most amazingly genuine friends through other means of socializing. For me, it was board gaming and TTRPGs, but there are so many communities out there waiting to welcome you based on your own interests - and altering your mood/behavior/consumption habits to fit *someone else's* comfort level is not a requirement 💜
As a non-drinker, I think it's a sad statement on the pervasiveness of the alcohol culture/dependence on alcohol to not be socially anxious that we have friendships dependent on alcohol. It's so encoded in the public consciousness that you "need" a drink to relax (in reality alcohol is a depressant, so if you're already anxious/borderline depressed, drinking isn't doing you any favors) - but also goes along with people self-medicating with alcohol and drugs vs. seeking therapy so they won't need that crutch. I wouldn't be surprised if some of your former friends were using that alcoholic haze to not think about their problems. My paternal grandparents were both useless drunks and consequently my father had to raise his three siblings at a young age...they couldn't even be relied on to make sure the kids had lunches/money for lunch etc.
Congratulations🎉🎉🎉🎉 I'm 375 days without any alcohol today. I got pregnant and I'm breastfeeding now so it was easier with my motivation but cuddos to both of us 💪
I'm never seen drunk Merle (I don't think I have at least on here); and I can say I love watching sober Merle. She is funny, interesting to listen to, smart and makes me think
I’m really happy that non-alcoholic drinks and beers are becoming so trendy. I have a really low alcohol tolerance and never feel good drinking, but I like having a beer sometimes. More options every day :)
As a lifetime non-drinker I don't understand the non-alcoholic drinks, then you're just left drinking "piss/bread" and rubbing alcohol without the effects of alcohol, mine as well just have a seltzer water at that point, but I suppose it's like those "vapor" pen things for people trying to quit vaping.
I've been googling videos about sobriety because I've recently had a couple of older family members either pass away or get very sick from a constellation of mental illness and substance abuse. I'm worried about becoming an addict myself. I am not trying to police anyone, but our acceptance of alcohol and addictive prescription medications is so bizarre. It's nice to see some evidence that not drinking can be a way of life, a genuinely worthwhile choice for someone who is not actively fighting addiction. And nice to see how you deal with it creatively! Looking into conversation, etc.
I recently did a 4 day Ibogaine/DMT retreat in Mexico. Sober for 2 months with zero cravings! You youngsters will trend in a positive way for NOT drinking. Good job
Congrats on making it a full year with no alcohol! I felt a pull to stop drinking once I turned 30. I actually felt it for a couple of years before, but never acted on it. When I turned 30 I made it 6 months before drinking again. Ever since I’ve started back up, I’ve been wanting to quit again. I just don’t have the same relationship with it as I used to. I don’t even particularly enjoy it anymore, it’s more just kinda going through the motions and drinking out of boredom or ritual if I’m being honest. I’m currently 12 days sober and I turn 31 on the 29th of Oct. I think I’m going to do what you did and go for a full year again. Thanks for uploading, this was really inspiring.
i don't enjoy it, either. i feel bored, so i drink, but then it never "feels fun." i start losing memory before i ever enjoy myself, and that's when i say or do embarrassing things, too. i think it's just the dopamine hit that keeps me drinking, and i hate feeling like a slave to a chemical. but it's hard to quit because i do drink at home/"to unwind," and i don't know what to do instead.
I had the unfortunate experience on Saturday of having a drink tampered with. Luckily, I noticed how weird I was feeling and I was able to get home safely before anything bad happened, but that has pushed me to take a break from drinking as well. I'm not blaming myself for my drink being tampered with, but it truly was an awakening to just how dangerous bars can be, and with that I've done a lot of self reflection. There are many nights that I start with one or two and it becomes difficult to stop. Alcoholism runs rampant in my family and frankly, none of the risks are worth it in my opinion. Seeing content like this is so helpful, and so refreshing to see. Someone else mentions how much of socializing as an adult is wrapped around drinking, so to see someone successfully still be relatively social while being sober is so reassuring. Thank you for your vulnerability with this, it's helped me a lot today.
I remind myself that everyone is more interested in what is in there glass than in mine. And, knowing that I am completely in control of myself actually is beginning to ease my social anxiety.
This is so true! I’ll have a non alcoholic beer in hand and the person I’m talking to with a real beer in theirs has zero idea- I just have to remind myself that I’m LESS likely to be weird or too silly or dumb when I’m sober than if I were drinking, and since most everyone else is drinking, they don’t care anyways as long as I’m having fun and being myself.
I haven’t had caffeine in 11 years. No alcohol, no nicotine, and no soda in 6 years. Not ever going back to those things. I don’t miss parties and I don’t have guilt about putting my health first.
I quit alcohol and nicotine, but I am having the HARDEST time quitting caffeine. I feel like I use it as a crutch to be able to get out of bed and go to work and I'm afraid that without that crutch I'll crash and burn. I know it's just the addict in me talking but it feels real.
Next to alcohol, I feel like caffeine addiction is the most socially acceptable addiction. There are plenty of people who drink it without issue (just like alcohol), but the number of people I meet who genuinely cannot function without caffeine is a bit worrying. Like, you should be able to operate normally if you don't get your morning coffee, and that's not true for a ton of people. You should be able to stop at any time. If not, it's a problem.
The quitting part is doable. I had a headache for 2 days and that was it. But coffee gives me so much pleasure that I find it hard to live without. And why should I? Thinking about waking up to a good cup of coffee makes me happy. Much more so than food, I'm not that hungry in the morning.
@@Stoudtski yeah but caffeine doesn't destroy your life or your health so what's the problem? there's lots of research that it actually helps blood pressure and heart health. i don't see any issue with drinking coffee to wake up.
Cool to come along for your journey, thanks! I haven't drank in 4 years. Have noticed that my sober fun person mode is more childlike, like trampoline park, MTN biking, skiing, having fun at the beach and just being a silly kid.. like even fucking colouring is great.. I don't need a beer after a soccer game.. I just ran as fast as I could and kicked a ball around.. I don't need a beer on a Friday because I worked all week. Everyone on the planet works all week, high fives.. Go on a hike and take in a beautiful vista. Attend to the flavours of the fantastic meal you prepared. Work on your cartwheels, see who can run to that tree over there and back fastest... Just be a silly kid and do shit that is fun because being fun is awesome.
Hey Merle! I’m 29 and turn 30 in December and I’m currently on a similar journey as you. I feel refreshed, calmer, fresh minded and happy. I wish you peace, laughter and happiness ❤
Awesome! You look great! The fact that you are as young as you are with all of these realizations is truly remarkable! My birthday is October 5th, as well . I personally don't drink due to health issues. Wishing you all the best! Live your best life! 🙏🥰💕
MERLE! I just adore everything about you. I'm 20 years older (almost) and I've had a mixed relationship with alcohol as well. I put it down completely for two years because I was experiencing some symptoms of abuse or bordering on alcoholism. My drinking was never more than once a week but I found that 1 drink was too many and 20 just wasn't enough when I did drink (12-step programs have a similar saying and I know because I went to some meetings). I also found a BIG correlation with drinking and the sober up anxiety festival. I wanted to crawl under a rock every time I started sobering up. So, I took the two years off and now, I drink if I feel like it (rarely) and most of the time, I don't. And that works for me. I no longer feel crushing anxiety or guilt when I do (I'm talking probably less than once every two months) and I just enjoy myself. This could also come with being older and not giving a eff. I wanted to share that (Meat-eater who is trying to be better) I made a chickpea and shaved carrot salad earlier today and when I sat down, I saw your video pop up and thought, 'ohhhmygoshsshhh' she'd be so proud of me lol. NEVER stop inventorying yourself and your life. If it doesn't serve you, tell it to hit the road! Signed, your Big sis
Good for you dude, the quitting itself is hard but the harder part is the reinventing of yourself as a sober person and navigating that bs. For the sleeping, try meditating right before you go to bed. Start with like 5 min, helps quiet the mind, melatonin’s a good one too. I always found the oddest thing was all the people that felt uncomfortable around me cuz I wasn’t drinking, your whole video I’m just going “yes”, “exactly”, “right? What’s up with that”. Anyways, stick with it, your brain, liver and mental health will thank you. This year will be 15 years for alcohol for me, 8 for nicotine and 4 for caffeine. I’m really fun at parties haha.
I really appreciate that you made this video, I've been sober for 9 years now, I am not able to drink alcohol responsibly i.e. drink and drive, blackouts, always sick, drinking shots before I would shower in the morning, it got really bad. You never have to say you're quitting alcohol forever, you can't possibly know if that would happen. In recovery people say one day at a time and even if you aren't committing to quitting you can too. Sending you love and support as you navigate life.
What a great, inspiring, and insightful video. I still drink occasionally, but my relationship with alcohol changed when I finally realized that I was using alcohol as a tool to feel more comfortable socializing with people that I really didn’t want to socialize with anymore. I needed alcohol to be able to tolerate certain people and certain types of social situations. Instead of cutting out alcohol, I cut out those people and social situations, and I just naturally started drinking less as a result. I do still drink occasionally and I still enjoy it, but I no longer feel like I need to drink to enjoy my life. It was a real process to get to that point though. I’m proud of myself for making these realizations and then making changes to align with my values. Way to go, Merle! P.S. Loved your RHPC lewk!!
Hands down, the most honest take on choosing sobriety. Especially in LA. I feel like it's such a mission to have a social life here without drinking, most things like events, or art shows or music all revolve around drinking here. Thanks for the sharing, didn't know I needed to hear it all.
I'm about to celebrate my first anniversary free of tobacco and alcohol. And the key word is *free*. It’s the best decision of my life (I started with 30 days, and when I was 2 weeks in, I decided to keep going, and I'm not planning to look back anytime soon). Thanks for sharing your journey, and congrats on gifting yourself the experience. The sense of presence that being alcohol-free brings in every setting and within oneself is unmatched.
Really resonated a lot with this. I’ve been on a little break from alcohol lately and trying to figure out how long I want to keep it up and how to maintain balance afterward. Also we have the same birthday! Happy belated!
Well done, Merle! I had to stop drinking for a year after a bunch of brain surgeries and trying to get back into it felt so awful. and plus now the meds I'm on preclude me from being able to drink safely, so it's just off the table to be drinking. I'm impressed and proud of you! *high-fives-like-whoa*
Terrific video! I hope folks pick up on the amount of reflection you did throughout your year. Rather than just white-knuckling it to a goal, the analysis is where the real growth occurs. You hit on a point that was critical to my own transformation from a mindset of "I'm not drinking" or "I can't drink" to "I don't want to drink" which is the total amount of time getting drunk really takes. It's not just the time it takes getting to that feel-good spot and the inevitable time recovering from the hangover, it's also the time you spend in anticipation throughout the day, the time you spend worrying about and dealing with the consequences of any stupid things you did or said, the time you now have to spend doing the stuff you put off because you were hungover and even the extra time you have to spend doing things because you're just not as sharp as you should be. In my case that all added up to a monumental amount of time compared to the amount of time I spent actually feeling "good" while intoxicated.
Around the 23 min mark, when you said it had been 10 months in the video - you look different. More glowy and healthy for sure. Thanks for sharing your journey!
Thanks for sharing this, it's very interesting to see your journey through it. I've stopped drinking on New Years and the only thing i really miss is the belonging to a group or a celebration, because if you're the only sober person at a party it kinda sucks. People judge and want to get you to drink. Then you realize how it actually is so unhealthy that people are only this free and wild because of alcohol. But you also can't talk about it because apparently you should behave this way in your 20s and let loose. It's a really strange experience to have. So you should really be proud for doing it!!
I relate with so many things in this video. I had to give up alcohol due to a medical issue in 2010 when I was only 21. I would still go out sober, but I experienced social anxiety and the fear that friends were using me for a free ride home rather than actually wanting me there. I lost friends because of it but I quickly realized that those people are not real friends. Other friendships deepened because those friends were supportive and put in effort to do more sober things with me. I found other hobbies besides drinking and made lifelong friends from that (even met my husband that way). After some time, I felt more authentically myself. I was no longer the party girl and I could never see myself being that girl again. I'm shy, I'm quiet, I like being at home, playing video games, and hanging out with a few close friends. I used to be that way when I was younger and I've kind of reconnected with that part of me. I'm 35 now and I love the sober life. I made a lot of bad decisions while drinking and I'm so lucky I never ended up as a statistic. I feel so much better having control of my mind, my actions, and my behaviours. Anyway, proud of you for making it this far because it's not easy.
I have had one drink in 18 months. I made a goal that when I started my new job I didn’t want it to be my way to decompress after a hard day. I’m very introverted so I rarely go to bars and parties which is the hardest to be sober at, but life is so much better without alcohol. Way to go. Your body thanks you
I might be a boring person but, as someone who doesn't drink, parties look so damn boring. It's usually just a bunch of drunk people moving in weird ways, and a bunch of them will forget it by the next day. Perhaps I enjoy being at home too much lol
I restarted my relationship with drinking after 2 year hard reset on life. A few takeaways from my experience: -so much anxiety at first, my nervous system was not used to being in loud settings sober. I was never sure I knew what anxiety felt like until I stopped drinking. -sweet tooth, omg I never had cravings for sweets til I stopped drinking. I was eating cookies and cupcakes, stuff I never craved. This subsided after a few months. Makes sense though, alc drinks have a lot of sugar! -I lost some friends who ended up just being bar buds. The friends that stayed around are the real deal. -I decided to start when it felt right, and I can safely say that it was truly a hard reset. My relationship with alc is completely different and I almost never desire to drink but like having the option to. I also trust myself to stop again if I want to since I already did. Congrats on your year of no drinking!
This was right on time for me.. I have been considering stopping for a while now.. and I have had issues in the past. My relationship with alcohol has changed a lot in the last decade. Went from abusive, to sober, to controlled, to sober again, and now I've just been drinking moderately-ish, but alone and every day.. for way too long. So it's time for me to stop and give my body and mind a break.. a long one. And your video popped up right on time for an inspiration boost! I just need to muster up the will and courage to stick to my guns for the first few challenging days, and then just let the ball roll. But congrats on your journey! And thank you for documenting it! This is exactly what people "like me" need to see to have that needed motivational push to take action. You do look much better now that you are more sober, and the way you express yourself feels more fluid as well. Hopefully I can get on a positive sober streak as well. Here's to a brighter future soon enough! Thank you for that video
Feeling more seen than I have in a while. I’m 25, and have never really had a huge urge to drink, mostly after having some really rough nights out leading to a phobia of throwing up (weird idk) and seeing how alcohol has made some of my family operate. Haven’t really met a tribe that doesn’t drink which can make it sort of isolating, more so when my job seems to centre social events around drinking. Thank you for showing that it’s okay to not have to turn to alcohol to define how you want to enjoy yourself.
So relatable. Im 36 and have been sober for a few years now.. the social anxiety is real haha I still struggle with it and spend most of my time at home, but I really enjoy it. ❤
I've been sober for a little over a year, and what you shared resonated with me. You're spot on re: learning new social and coping skills without alcohol, and skills are more sustainable/longer lasting. Recommend meditation to help with sleep and getting centered.
I quit alcohol January 2023. I don’t miss it whatsoever. I did it when the Canadian Health Association stated that no amount is safe and listed all the diseases it caused. I’ve tried to enjoy a glass of wine 2 or 3 times since but I feel awful and can’t finish a glass anymore so it’s not worth it. I feel so much better now, no headaches especially. Don’t miss feeling like shit the next day either lol
If you haven’t tried the delicious Passionfruit Guava Spindrift sparkling waters, they are my fav when I want something bubbly like a beer. Great video 🌷
Last year I quit for 6 months as an experiment. I experienced everything you talked about from beginning to end. I still have the occasional big night out but it’s not the same. Great vid.
I'm proud of you. I know it can take a lot of effort, and I'm on that way (not necessarily to never drink, but to regain control). You got this, hope I can too!
Thank the algorithm for suggesting me this video! I have never been a big drinker, but I found over the years I would need one or two drinks at the end of the day to decompress. I challenged myself to being sober one month, and found my skin, sleep and energy improved so much! I have about one or two drinks a week socially now, but glad the daily habit has been broken.
I stopped drinking bc I realized every party and social situation I was using alcohol to relax, loosen up, and be my fun self. Then it hit me one day I wanted to be able to have fun without any substances. I had to work through some awkwardness and navigating telling folks I wasn’t going to be drinking, and similar to your expense I started having so much fun 💕 I’ve done so many music festivals, concerts, and big events sober and it’s such a fun experience!! Edit: I haven’t had a drink since October 22 And I honestly love it
Love this video, and relate with it so much. My relationship with alcohol is very similar to yours, and I’ve been asking myself similar questions. Congrats on going a year without! I’ve never done that
This is so fantastic! Very intelligent speculations and reporting and you're personality shines ☺ It has always been in you it never left! I'm trying to stay off the sauce also for the same reasons so I relate heavy with this.
Good job! I have almost completley stopped drinking couple of months ago after drinking at least twice a week since I became an adult. Now at 27 I realized that it is maybe affecting me much more than I thought. And suprise suprise alcohol was ruining my sleep, ruining weekend activities, my mental health, my nutrition, my exercise. I also had bad nicotine cravings.. And when I decided to get drunk only on a special occasion the next days prove to me that not drinking is what I truly want. I went to London 3 weeks ago for a trip with friends and I decided to get drunk. I had bad anxiety afterwards and I finally decided that for me it is much easier to just quit all together. It truly is not worth it for me. Thank you very much for making this video! Good job. I wish you all the best.❤
I just wanted to say (I haven't even finished watching the video but still) : thank you so much for this interesting video. I've been watching a lot of videos about people quitting alcohol for a year, and talking about their thougts on this journey, but to be able to see you each month, with your reflections, doubts, questions... It was very enlightening to hear, as if we were following you on this path. Thanks again for this, and sorry for my english (I'm french)
Your skin definitely looked better at your 11 and 12 month mark than it did after you started drinking again. I enjoyed watching your journey. Good luck in the future.
Thank you for this beautiful UA-cam post . I have been trying your recipes for a few months and had no idea you went a year with out drinking , I want to try too now, and save money so I can cook more of your recipes 😊
Oh yeah! I am 52 and have been on this journey my whole life! 😂 I’m off it again now! Sober October and no roll ups! Even 2 per day is bad and yes hangovers are awful at 52! Good luck my love!!❤ wishing you healing vibes and strength - smash it! 🌸🦋💪
So I just finished the video and a whole year! Wow I can’t believe it! This video has come at the right time for me as wanted some inspiration- I hope u managed to stay off the nicotine and well done 👏
I had quite the same experience with no drinking for a while, also the more negative side of being a workaholic and a lot of caffeine. But I really loved the experience and wanna do a longer strict break again without stopping for ever
It's certainly no magic bullet. But stopping drinking alcohol was/is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Makes sooo many things so much easier and better. I'm not sober, per se, and am not opposed to drinking again in future. But the pros of not drinking far outweigh the cons. I don't miss it at all. I hope it helped you 💚
Just coming back to this, cause I couldn't watch the whole thing earlier. But just wanna say that this was so fascinating and informative to watch. You're such a great example and role model. We're proud of you 💚
I decided yesterday that I want to be sober. Whenever I start drinking I don't know when or how to stop and this has gotten me into some bad situations/drama. I really needed this video today. It is only day 2 so I am not having any cravings yet but I know this coming up weekend is going to be difficult/tempting. I also am known as the "last person leaving"/"party girl". Wish me luck, I think I am going to need it.
So proud of you, Merle 👏🏻❤ I myself only drink maybe a few times per year because typically alcohol makes my body feel like crap. Even in smaller quantities. Makes you definitely appreciate/enjoy those moments more in my opinion.
Bravo, lady! It’s really hard giving up something when other peeps are still engaging in that thing. It’s crazy how much our lives revolve around alcohol. I am 3 years sober this past May, which was prompted by recognizing I have an addictive personality and my drinking habits were becoming way too regular. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made for my physical and mental health. And I have to say the NA options out there are getting super, super good!
Once I hit my late twenties the hangovers got bad so I eased up and stopped for a while. I realized my friends weren't my friends, they were my drinking buddies and they felt I was too boring without being drunk. Still stings but I'm so grateful I'm not relying on it to socialize and I got to know myself so much better. Found a new tribe ❤
I relate to this so much. Being the down-for-anything carefree party person was the main way I socialised and made friends, and honestly the main way I had fun too… and being sober makes me way more awkward, way more chill, and my social battery drains way faster. And yeah, I get bored so fast. It’s hard cos I don’t wanna stop having fun, but it does make me question, what do I even find fun in a social context? Ive always had loads of fun doing things alone at home, but like, I am having a much harder time having fun with other people. I do hope I get that back. I remind myself that I had friends and had fun with my friends as a teenager before I started drinking. I think, sadly, the issue is misalignment. It’s hard to enjoy alcohol based activities without drinking, but like, doing things socially where no one is drinking is much easier to enjoy (like group hikes etc). And if you have friends who always drink, that can be really hard
There’s an NA spirit at my work called Three Spirit Social & it has Lion’s Mane mushrooms, so it still gives that relaxing effect, which definitely helps with things like this. Love to see all the realizations you have in this video! Thank you for sharing your journey.
youre a cool person merle at the end of the day, i know i have those social anxieties too but at the end of the day the people who talk to me are actually interested in me. and i feel like you have a similar effect and a stronger one at that imo. so even if youre in an uncomfrotable sober moment you can rest assured know on a deep level that youre a solid person at the end of the day and others see that. those who dont, well sometimes our anxieties are telling us we are spending time with the wrong people for a reason, in my experience at least sobriety removed some time wasters and i was then blessed with the best most amazing connections in my life. welcome the blessings ☺
Thank you for sharing this with us Merle! I appreciate seeing someone with a platform using it to bring attention to this. There's nothing wrong with being sober or not sober, as long as you're happy with your self. Something something, everything in moderation, something something. I loved seeing the points you were making throughout the year and it was fantastic watching your mindset change as time progressed. I also enjoyed seeing the end where you weren't sure which way you were wanting to go (staying sober or not sober) and having actual reasons for why you would or would not want to start drinking again. It's incredible seeing hard work and discipline pay off (saving money, having more energy, feeling better mentally, etc) and I'm so stoked for you! I was never much of a drinker, mostly because I don't love the taste of alcohol and my brain can't comprehend the concept of "acquired tastes", especially for things that can be as costly as alcohol. It felt a little alienating at times in my younger 20s because I would have a drink or two once in a great while (like months apart) and my friends would get kind of weird about how I was not drinking much. As we've all gotten older, they've become more understanding (or cared less?), so now I don't feel as alienated by not drinking. I also just have big money goals and I know that not drinking alcohol can help me reach those goals faster, so I also just don't really care as much about how I'm perceived for not drinking. There are times where I will party hard on extremely special occasions, but that's at most like twice a year. I personally just don't like the feeling of being "too drunk" and don't like not remembering things, so when I do drink to get drunk, I drink a lot early on (like MAYBE 8-10 pm) and then I drink nothing but water the rest of the night and eat all the snacks. I've never been hungover before and I intend to keep it that way as I'm about to be 30 next year. Thanks again for another great video!
Thank you for sharing your experience Merle! In an attempt not to sound very high-horsey, I would definitely recommend people to not drink for a little while to really experience the impact of drinking. I have quit drinking for two months after a major hangover and I have to say it did a lot more mentally than I would have expected - not that I have felt better (I mean, besides not being hungover or extremely tired after a night of drinking) but moreso realizing the position alcohol took within my life and to experience whether you really enjoy drinking / what you're doing or whether it's tied to social expectations. I don't know if not drinking has a lot of health benefits such as being energized, feeling great mentally etc. - for me I haven't experienced that. But I realized I don't know if I actually like going somewhere to get drunk. I don't have a 'I don't drink' policy for myself anymore, but now when I am about to order a drink I am really conscious about whether I want alcohol or not. And being conscious of that - your own wants - I would 100% recommend to everyone. You don't need to have a problem with alcohol to discover this for yourself I feel. Thank you for inspiring me to further discover different experiences!
First, congrats on going a year with no drinking or vaping! That is a huge accomplishment. I don't know how many years ago I stopped drinking heavily, but honestly, it is worth it. You mentioned not having that hard and fast rule of no drinks. I allow myself a drink if I want in social situations. If I went to Ireland, I would have a beer for the experience, or a specialty cocktail at a wedding. After the one drink, I move on to other experiences. I hope this made sense and helps. It doesn't have to be one drink, maybe you can do two drinks, and not get that hangover. Continue to grow and learn. I love your content. Also, Happy birthday!
This could not have come at a better time for me and I'm so proud of you for taking a break and learning about yourself! I had a scary experience with alcohol and quit drinking for a bit and I had all the same fears you had: are my friends still my friends? Will I still be fun to be around? Will I be having fun? And I've been diagnosed with social anxiety for a long time, so it was a major adjustment for me. But it got easier every time. I am drinking again, but I'm better at calling it a quits when my body is telling me to. I've had way too many staying up till sunrise nights and I am happy I've rekindled the part of me that enjoys a cozy night at home. I'm now on my journey to stop smoking and I think I'll have to quit drinking for that too. I'm very excited to get fit and actually be able to breathe when I walk up a slight incline lol it will be so worth it. I hope you continue the no nicotine. You got this!
Awesome job Merle. It is always good to redefine oneself and learn about our relationship with ourselves, others, our environment, and even substances. I am almost 47, and I do not drink. I have never been a drinker. I have a highly addictive personality and have had issues with food, gaming and other addictions. I know I would not have had a good relationship with alcohol, so have never allowed myself to go that route. The number one question I have always received is “How do you have fun without alcohol?” This question has always bothered me. I do a lot of things that are fun and that is probably better and safer without alcohol, like rock climbing, swimming, and back packing. Granted some people probably keep it under control and stay safe while drinking and doing these activities. However the thought of using alcohol during these activities scare me. I have asked many of the people who asked me that same question, “How do you have fun without alcohol?” to see their responses and it baffles me how so many of them do not know how to have fun without alcohol. Your video caused me to pause and reflect on my choices and to reevaluate my relationship to other substances and habits that I may overly rely on . Thank you for sharing.
I have been hoping to find someone going through the same process at around the same age, can relate so much... the identity crisis vs am I just getting old. The missing it but kinda not missing it. Sooo comforting to hear someone feeling the same. Crayy
Congratulations for having this realizations at this early age! It was not until my mid-thirties that I realized alcohol wasn't doing me any favor. It's been 6 + years since I stopped drinking now and it's hands down been the best decision I have ever made for myself. Feel more genuine, more me, I have less mood swings. Plus the current science links alcohol consumption with cancer, which is just another reason to be kinder to ourselves and avoid it.
This is so inspiring. Since that video I haven't really been able to look at alcohol the same, the benefits SOOO outweigh the "losses" if there really area any losses
Thanks for sharing Merle. The first week of December 2024 will mark two years of no alcohol for me. One of my earliest childhood memories is realizing how freeing it is to not have crutches--they were called bad habits then; smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling, etc...--in life. It surely is the second best thing I've done for myself. First is meeting my wife. Third is eating healthfully. Now, to conquer regular--minimum 150 minutes per week--exercise. ;-)
13 months no alcohol. Life is fundamentally changing for the best. Mediocre to brilliant is better than sloppy, wasted or hungover. Plus my brain and memory can actually perform. Hallelujah.
🎉 So excited for you and what youre allowing this experience to reveal for you. 3 years into my sobriety, and with the mental hard line that alcohol isnt a drink this body ingests anymore, i still waiver when im about to enter a social situation, or question what we would possibly talk about everytime.... i still convince myself tp cancel social get togethers, dreading the awkwardness, and it NEVER is awkward, eever.. its nuts..
I live in Italy now. I moved from the UK. I’ve noticed a complete difference with drinking with Italians and when I hang around Brits out here. Drinking with Italians is not about getting drunk. It’s about complementing the meal. Drinking with the Brits is about getting absolutely hammered. I have now stopped socialising with the Brits and truly enjoy a social evening with Italians.
Thank you so much for always being so open and gracious whenever I cover more serious topics on this channel. I hope you all enjoy this vid and sending lots of love and confidence to anyone who may be struggling with their relationship to alcohol
👍🏻❤️
Not drinking makes you quickly realize how many adult social activities revolve around alcohol. And you can still go and not drink, but often times the entertainment just devolves to drunk humor, and it's not really that fun for anyone sober. Definitely a problem for making (and keeping) friends as an adult. I think a lot of young people never learn how to comfortably socialize without alcohol in hand.
Went sober at 29, very true! Sometimes you gotta find other friends and better activities. Can be tough!
@@EastWindCommunity1973 I'm not sober, but I hate being tipsy/drunk. I like alcoholic drinks for the taste and craft, and typically limit myself to just one drink. So I often find myself socially aligned with sober folks.
This is so true. It’s often agonizing and the drunk friends are always whining like “why are you leavinggggg early???” It’s 10pm and I’ve been around you for hours sober lol I’m leaving 😂
For me I also realized how many things I just don’t want to go do but feel obligated to. Drunk people are not that fun and smiling at sooo many people I don’t know is terrifying. Alcohol is a way to participate in things that just suck sometimes and when I realized that I felt so disconnected from my actual likes and dislikes. Now I try to act how I feel. Love not drinking because it made me more me! Love all of y’all sharing your experiences btw. Hugs for the lovelies in the comments.
@@Shadeadder young people today learn it. Drinking culture is dying amongst the Gen Zs.
I went sober in January but caved to peer pressure in June due to a vacation. I wasn't enjoying myself but I continued to participate and fall into the pressure. Since then, I have decided I am not going to drink again anymore. I feel great. It made me realize how some friends I only had in common was drinking and we had nothing else to talk about.
Even if you "failed", you still succeeded for almost 6 months, which is already a great achievement. Most people will slip up when trying to leave any substance, so try not to focus too much on the failures and look at what you managed to do instead. Good luck :)
Yes! I realized how little I had in common & how little I enjoyed being with the people I was drinking with! Now I am healthier & have healthier friendships!🤔🙂
that is a TOUGH realization but so proud of you, and I can totally relate
This! Realizing some people were just drinking buddies is so hard to accept. Congrats on your continued journey of no alcohol!
I never saw the appeal in drinking alcohol. While anything fermented has some traces of alcohol i have never really drank.
Merle this is so weird, ive literally today decided to stop vaping and drinking and ive had a horrible day of cravings at work and come home and see this video, i dont believe in crystals or chance, but this is a wild sign to keep going. Thank you Merle as always x
KEEP GOINGGGGG
I drank heaps of non alcoholic beer at the start. Could not have done it without.
@@mariemaier5630, I was never a beer drinker, wine was my drink. Now non-alcoholic beer…until I am ready to tackle my gluten issues!
Sobriety doesn’t mean giving up on being social it means finding a new way to be social. I’ve been sober for 6 years and it has really changed the way I viewed a lot of my old friendships and sadly some of those are gone. But you make new friends who have more similar goals and viewpoints. I have party’s every year and they are so much fun they are just very different a lot more actual games and more real memories because your not to intoxicated to remember. You find new ways to meet people other than going to party’s and clubs. And those are normally more genuine friends because you find them doing actual hobbies and things you like.
THISSSSSS
Totally agree with this! Since being sober (5years ago) I have lost a lot of my "friends" but I have met the most genuine people who are the most meaningful friends till this day ❤
Look for places to meet people other than parties!
The climbing community is where I have met lots of great people :)
Dare I say, quitting drinking at 20 has been the best decision I have made in my early adult life
Fully agree. I don't drink for medical reasons, and I do miss it sometimes. I "lost" a lot of the friends who don't know how to be around sober people, even when there is zero animosity or discomfort on my end. However, I've also found the most amazingly genuine friends through other means of socializing.
For me, it was board gaming and TTRPGs, but there are so many communities out there waiting to welcome you based on your own interests - and altering your mood/behavior/consumption habits to fit *someone else's* comfort level is not a requirement 💜
As a non-drinker, I think it's a sad statement on the pervasiveness of the alcohol culture/dependence on alcohol to not be socially anxious that we have friendships dependent on alcohol. It's so encoded in the public consciousness that you "need" a drink to relax (in reality alcohol is a depressant, so if you're already anxious/borderline depressed, drinking isn't doing you any favors) - but also goes along with people self-medicating with alcohol and drugs vs. seeking therapy so they won't need that crutch. I wouldn't be surprised if some of your former friends were using that alcoholic haze to not think about their problems. My paternal grandparents were both useless drunks and consequently my father had to raise his three siblings at a young age...they couldn't even be relied on to make sure the kids had lunches/money for lunch etc.
Congratulations🎉🎉🎉🎉
I'm 375 days without any alcohol today. I got pregnant and I'm breastfeeding now so it was easier with my motivation but cuddos to both of us 💪
Congrats Mama!!!!
Heck yes!!! kudos!!
@@LynnzeNao
I'm never seen drunk Merle (I don't think I have at least on here); and I can say I love watching sober Merle. She is funny, interesting to listen to, smart and makes me think
good point, Agreed 🎉
🥹
I’ll be one year sober Oct 19th! I’ve lost 55 lbs and no longer have feet problems
Congratulations. Good job.
I’m really happy that non-alcoholic drinks and beers are becoming so trendy. I have a really low alcohol tolerance and never feel good drinking, but I like having a beer sometimes. More options every day :)
As a lifetime non-drinker I don't understand the non-alcoholic drinks, then you're just left drinking "piss/bread" and rubbing alcohol without the effects of alcohol, mine as well just have a seltzer water at that point, but I suppose it's like those "vapor" pen things for people trying to quit vaping.
Merle!!! I just hit my 1 year sober in September!!!!!! Hell yeah!!!
LETS GOOO
I've been googling videos about sobriety because I've recently had a couple of older family members either pass away or get very sick from a constellation of mental illness and substance abuse. I'm worried about becoming an addict myself. I am not trying to police anyone, but our acceptance of alcohol and addictive prescription medications is so bizarre. It's nice to see some evidence that not drinking can be a way of life, a genuinely worthwhile choice for someone who is not actively fighting addiction. And nice to see how you deal with it creatively! Looking into conversation, etc.
I recently did a 4 day Ibogaine/DMT retreat in Mexico. Sober for 2 months with zero cravings! You youngsters will trend in a positive way for NOT drinking. Good job
So proud of you for accomplishing it!!
Maybe the best 'I quit alcohol for a year' video I've watched. Excellent, thank you
Thank you so much
@@MerleONeal You’re welcome kid
Congrats on making it a full year with no alcohol! I felt a pull to stop drinking once I turned 30. I actually felt it for a couple of years before, but never acted on it. When I turned 30 I made it 6 months before drinking again. Ever since I’ve started back up, I’ve been wanting to quit again. I just don’t have the same relationship with it as I used to. I don’t even particularly enjoy it anymore, it’s more just kinda going through the motions and drinking out of boredom or ritual if I’m being honest. I’m currently 12 days sober and I turn 31 on the 29th of Oct. I think I’m going to do what you did and go for a full year again. Thanks for uploading, this was really inspiring.
I'm so glad you enjoyed the vid, I can totally relate to just about everything you've said here
i don't enjoy it, either. i feel bored, so i drink, but then it never "feels fun." i start losing memory before i ever enjoy myself, and that's when i say or do embarrassing things, too. i think it's just the dopamine hit that keeps me drinking, and i hate feeling like a slave to a chemical. but it's hard to quit because i do drink at home/"to unwind," and i don't know what to do instead.
I had the unfortunate experience on Saturday of having a drink tampered with. Luckily, I noticed how weird I was feeling and I was able to get home safely before anything bad happened, but that has pushed me to take a break from drinking as well.
I'm not blaming myself for my drink being tampered with, but it truly was an awakening to just how dangerous bars can be, and with that I've done a lot of self reflection. There are many nights that I start with one or two and it becomes difficult to stop. Alcoholism runs rampant in my family and frankly, none of the risks are worth it in my opinion. Seeing content like this is so helpful, and so refreshing to see. Someone else mentions how much of socializing as an adult is wrapped around drinking, so to see someone successfully still be relatively social while being sober is so reassuring. Thank you for your vulnerability with this, it's helped me a lot today.
I remind myself that everyone is more interested in what is in there glass than in mine. And, knowing that I am completely in control of myself actually is beginning to ease my social anxiety.
This is so true! I’ll have a non alcoholic beer in hand and the person I’m talking to with a real beer in theirs has zero idea- I just have to remind myself that I’m LESS likely to be weird or too silly or dumb when I’m sober than if I were drinking, and since most everyone else is drinking, they don’t care anyways as long as I’m having fun and being myself.
I haven’t had caffeine in 11 years. No alcohol, no nicotine, and no soda in 6 years. Not ever going back to those things. I don’t miss parties and I don’t have guilt about putting my health first.
I quit alcohol and nicotine, but I am having the HARDEST time quitting caffeine. I feel like I use it as a crutch to be able to get out of bed and go to work and I'm afraid that without that crutch I'll crash and burn. I know it's just the addict in me talking but it feels real.
Next to alcohol, I feel like caffeine addiction is the most socially acceptable addiction. There are plenty of people who drink it without issue (just like alcohol), but the number of people I meet who genuinely cannot function without caffeine is a bit worrying. Like, you should be able to operate normally if you don't get your morning coffee, and that's not true for a ton of people. You should be able to stop at any time. If not, it's a problem.
The quitting part is doable. I had a headache for 2 days and that was it. But coffee gives me so much pleasure that I find it hard to live without. And why should I? Thinking about waking up to a good cup of coffee makes me happy. Much more so than food, I'm not that hungry in the morning.
@@Shadeadder I completely agree with you.
@@Stoudtski yeah but caffeine doesn't destroy your life or your health so what's the problem? there's lots of research that it actually helps blood pressure and heart health. i don't see any issue with drinking coffee to wake up.
Cool to come along for your journey, thanks! I haven't drank in 4 years. Have noticed that my sober fun person mode is more childlike, like trampoline park, MTN biking, skiing, having fun at the beach and just being a silly kid.. like even fucking colouring is great..
I don't need a beer after a soccer game.. I just ran as fast as I could and kicked a ball around.. I don't need a beer on a Friday because I worked all week. Everyone on the planet works all week, high fives..
Go on a hike and take in a beautiful vista. Attend to the flavours of the fantastic meal you prepared. Work on your cartwheels, see who can run to that tree over there and back fastest... Just be a silly kid and do shit that is fun because being fun is awesome.
Hey Merle! I’m 29 and turn 30 in December and I’m currently on a similar journey as you. I feel refreshed, calmer, fresh minded and happy. I wish you peace, laughter and happiness ❤
Right back at you!
I couldn't believe how much prettier you got as the video progressed and you got closer to the one year mark. Definitely noticeable!
Awesome! You look great! The fact that you are as young as you are with all of these realizations is truly remarkable! My birthday is October 5th, as well . I personally don't drink due to health issues. Wishing you all the best! Live your best life! 🙏🥰💕
MERLE! I just adore everything about you. I'm 20 years older (almost) and I've had a mixed relationship with alcohol as well. I put it down completely for two years because I was experiencing some symptoms of abuse or bordering on alcoholism. My drinking was never more than once a week but I found that 1 drink was too many and 20 just wasn't enough when I did drink (12-step programs have a similar saying and I know because I went to some meetings). I also found a BIG correlation with drinking and the sober up anxiety festival. I wanted to crawl under a rock every time I started sobering up. So, I took the two years off and now, I drink if I feel like it (rarely) and most of the time, I don't. And that works for me. I no longer feel crushing anxiety or guilt when I do (I'm talking probably less than once every two months) and I just enjoy myself. This could also come with being older and not giving a eff. I wanted to share that (Meat-eater who is trying to be better) I made a chickpea and shaved carrot salad earlier today and when I sat down, I saw your video pop up and thought, 'ohhhmygoshsshhh' she'd be so proud of me lol. NEVER stop inventorying yourself and your life. If it doesn't serve you, tell it to hit the road! Signed, your Big sis
Good for you dude, the quitting itself is hard but the harder part is the reinventing of yourself as a sober person and navigating that bs. For the sleeping, try meditating right before you go to bed. Start with like 5 min, helps quiet the mind, melatonin’s a good one too. I always found the oddest thing was all the people that felt uncomfortable around me cuz I wasn’t drinking, your whole video I’m just going “yes”, “exactly”, “right? What’s up with that”. Anyways, stick with it, your brain, liver and mental health will thank you. This year will be 15 years for alcohol for me, 8 for nicotine and 4 for caffeine. I’m really fun at parties haha.
This whole comment made me smile
Magnesium really helps me fall asleep faster (relaxes your muscles) and i don't wake up with a headache like i do with melatonin.
Good for you. I’m five years AF in a few days. It’s such a better life! So clear, so nice. Love that you vlogged / shared your experience.❤
I really appreciate that you made this video, I've been sober for 9 years now, I am not able to drink alcohol responsibly i.e. drink and drive, blackouts, always sick, drinking shots before I would shower in the morning, it got really bad. You never have to say you're quitting alcohol forever, you can't possibly know if that would happen. In recovery people say one day at a time and even if you aren't committing to quitting you can too. Sending you love and support as you navigate life.
What a great, inspiring, and insightful video. I still drink occasionally, but my relationship with alcohol changed when I finally realized that I was using alcohol as a tool to feel more comfortable socializing with people that I really didn’t want to socialize with anymore. I needed alcohol to be able to tolerate certain people and certain types of social situations. Instead of cutting out alcohol, I cut out those people and social situations, and I just naturally started drinking less as a result. I do still drink occasionally and I still enjoy it, but I no longer feel like I need to drink to enjoy my life. It was a real process to get to that point though. I’m proud of myself for making these realizations and then making changes to align with my values. Way to go, Merle! P.S. Loved your RHPC lewk!!
this is exactly how I feel EXACTLY
Hands down, the most honest take on choosing sobriety. Especially in LA. I feel like it's such a mission to have a social life here without drinking, most things like events, or art shows or music all revolve around drinking here. Thanks for the sharing, didn't know I needed to hear it all.
I'm so glad it was helpful
I'm about to celebrate my first anniversary free of tobacco and alcohol. And the key word is *free*. It’s the best decision of my life (I started with 30 days, and when I was 2 weeks in, I decided to keep going, and I'm not planning to look back anytime soon). Thanks for sharing your journey, and congrats on gifting yourself the experience. The sense of presence that being alcohol-free brings in every setting and within oneself is unmatched.
Really resonated a lot with this. I’ve been on a little break from alcohol lately and trying to figure out how long I want to keep it up and how to maintain balance afterward.
Also we have the same birthday! Happy belated!
Omg birthday twin!!! I'm happy the video was helpful for you
I don't know you, but im so unbelievably proud of you!
🥹
Well done, Merle! I had to stop drinking for a year after a bunch of brain surgeries and trying to get back into it felt so awful. and plus now the meds I'm on preclude me from being able to drink safely, so it's just off the table to be drinking. I'm impressed and proud of you! *high-fives-like-whoa*
I haven't had a drink in 6 weeks. Thank you for sharing your journey
Terrific video! I hope folks pick up on the amount of reflection you did throughout your year. Rather than just white-knuckling it to a goal, the analysis is where the real growth occurs. You hit on a point that was critical to my own transformation from a mindset of "I'm not drinking" or "I can't drink" to "I don't want to drink" which is the total amount of time getting drunk really takes.
It's not just the time it takes getting to that feel-good spot and the inevitable time recovering from the hangover, it's also the time you spend in anticipation throughout the day, the time you spend worrying about and dealing with the consequences of any stupid things you did or said, the time you now have to spend doing the stuff you put off because you were hungover and even the extra time you have to spend doing things because you're just not as sharp as you should be. In my case that all added up to a monumental amount of time compared to the amount of time I spent actually feeling "good" while intoxicated.
ooooooph this gave me goosebumps. so. well. said.
Around the 23 min mark, when you said it had been 10 months in the video - you look different. More glowy and healthy for sure. Thanks for sharing your journey!
Thanks for sharing this, it's very interesting to see your journey through it. I've stopped drinking on New Years and the only thing i really miss is the belonging to a group or a celebration, because if you're the only sober person at a party it kinda sucks. People judge and want to get you to drink. Then you realize how it actually is so unhealthy that people are only this free and wild because of alcohol. But you also can't talk about it because apparently you should behave this way in your 20s and let loose. It's a really strange experience to have. So you should really be proud for doing it!!
I have just started my sober journey and this was amazing to watch ❤
I relate with so many things in this video. I had to give up alcohol due to a medical issue in 2010 when I was only 21. I would still go out sober, but I experienced social anxiety and the fear that friends were using me for a free ride home rather than actually wanting me there. I lost friends because of it but I quickly realized that those people are not real friends. Other friendships deepened because those friends were supportive and put in effort to do more sober things with me. I found other hobbies besides drinking and made lifelong friends from that (even met my husband that way).
After some time, I felt more authentically myself. I was no longer the party girl and I could never see myself being that girl again. I'm shy, I'm quiet, I like being at home, playing video games, and hanging out with a few close friends. I used to be that way when I was younger and I've kind of reconnected with that part of me. I'm 35 now and I love the sober life. I made a lot of bad decisions while drinking and I'm so lucky I never ended up as a statistic. I feel so much better having control of my mind, my actions, and my behaviours. Anyway, proud of you for making it this far because it's not easy.
This is such an incredibly powerful and empowering statement, thank you
@@MerleONeal Thank YOU for sharing your story because it validated so much of what I felt when I stopped drinking.
I have had one drink in 18 months. I made a goal that when I started my new job I didn’t want it to be my way to decompress after a hard day. I’m very introverted so I rarely go to bars and parties which is the hardest to be sober at, but life is so much better without alcohol. Way to go. Your body thanks you
I really like that! "The opposite of addiction is connection"
I might be a boring person but, as someone who doesn't drink, parties look so damn boring. It's usually just a bunch of drunk people moving in weird ways, and a bunch of them will forget it by the next day. Perhaps I enjoy being at home too much lol
You're absolutely not boring, you just know what you like! and you save money doing it lmao
If it's the typical house party with "normal" people, yeah, but if it's a nerdy party with board + video games/movies etc. that's different.
@@yellowblanka6058 a small gathering with friends to play board games sounds heavenly to me lol
I restarted my relationship with drinking after 2 year hard reset on life. A few takeaways from my experience:
-so much anxiety at first, my nervous system was not used to being in loud settings sober. I was never sure I knew what anxiety felt like until I stopped drinking.
-sweet tooth, omg I never had cravings for sweets til I stopped drinking. I was eating cookies and cupcakes, stuff I never craved. This subsided after a few months. Makes sense though, alc drinks have a lot of sugar!
-I lost some friends who ended up just being bar buds. The friends that stayed around are the real deal.
-I decided to start when it felt right, and I can safely say that it was truly a hard reset. My relationship with alc is completely different and I almost never desire to drink but like having the option to. I also trust myself to stop again if I want to since I already did.
Congrats on your year of no drinking!
This was so relatable and great to read, thank you for sharing
This was right on time for me.. I have been considering stopping for a while now.. and I have had issues in the past. My relationship with alcohol has changed a lot in the last decade. Went from abusive, to sober, to controlled, to sober again, and now I've just been drinking moderately-ish, but alone and every day.. for way too long. So it's time for me to stop and give my body and mind a break.. a long one. And your video popped up right on time for an inspiration boost! I just need to muster up the will and courage to stick to my guns for the first few challenging days, and then just let the ball roll. But congrats on your journey! And thank you for documenting it! This is exactly what people "like me" need to see to have that needed motivational push to take action. You do look much better now that you are more sober, and the way you express yourself feels more fluid as well. Hopefully I can get on a positive sober streak as well. Here's to a brighter future soon enough! Thank you for that video
Thank you for sharing this journey. I loved hearing what you learned. So proud of you for sticking with it for the year.
Thank you!!!
Getting out in nature and hiking is the best for getting that side-quest adventure feeling without alcohol! Great video by the way.
Feeling more seen than I have in a while. I’m 25, and have never really had a huge urge to drink, mostly after having some really rough nights out leading to a phobia of throwing up (weird idk) and seeing how alcohol has made some of my family operate. Haven’t really met a tribe that doesn’t drink which can make it sort of isolating, more so when my job seems to centre social events around drinking. Thank you for showing that it’s okay to not have to turn to alcohol to define how you want to enjoy yourself.
I also HATEEEE throwing up 😫
So relatable. Im 36 and have been sober for a few years now.. the social anxiety is real haha I still struggle with it and spend most of my time at home, but I really enjoy it. ❤
I've been sober for a little over a year, and what you shared resonated with me. You're spot on re: learning new social and coping skills without alcohol, and skills are more sustainable/longer lasting. Recommend meditation to help with sleep and getting centered.
I quit alcohol January 2023. I don’t miss it whatsoever. I did it when the Canadian Health Association stated that no amount is safe and listed all the diseases it caused. I’ve tried to enjoy a glass of wine 2 or 3 times since but I feel awful and can’t finish a glass anymore so it’s not worth it. I feel so much better now, no headaches especially. Don’t miss feeling like shit the next day either lol
If you haven’t tried the delicious Passionfruit Guava Spindrift sparkling waters, they are my fav when I want something bubbly like a beer. Great video 🌷
Last year I quit for 6 months as an experiment. I experienced everything you talked about from beginning to end. I still have the occasional big night out but it’s not the same. Great vid.
I'm proud of you. I know it can take a lot of effort, and I'm on that way (not necessarily to never drink, but to regain control). You got this, hope I can too!
Thank the algorithm for suggesting me this video! I have never been a big drinker, but I found over the years I would need one or two drinks at the end of the day to decompress. I challenged myself to being sober one month, and found my skin, sleep and energy improved so much! I have about one or two drinks a week socially now, but glad the daily habit has been broken.
Super proud of you, that's not easy! It motivates me to quit drinking for a while
Never clicked so fast haha. Super proud of you for a year of sobriety, Merle! ❤😊
Thank you
I stopped drinking bc I realized every party and social situation I was using alcohol to relax, loosen up, and be my fun self. Then it hit me one day I wanted to be able to have fun without any substances.
I had to work through some awkwardness and navigating telling folks I wasn’t going to be drinking, and similar to your expense I started having so much fun 💕
I’ve done so many music festivals, concerts, and big events sober and it’s such a fun experience!!
Edit: I haven’t had a drink since October 22 And I honestly love it
This is amazing and so inspiring to read, thank you so much for sharing
I turn 30 in 11 days, & im thinking about making 30 a sober year. Loved this video, Merle!
You won't regret it!!!
Love this video, and relate with it so much. My relationship with alcohol is very similar to yours, and I’ve been asking myself similar questions. Congrats on going a year without! I’ve never done that
Sober over 12 years...KEEP GOING,ITS WORTH IT!!! 😊
This is so fantastic! Very intelligent speculations and reporting and you're personality shines ☺ It has always been in you it never left! I'm trying to stay off the sauce also for the same reasons so I relate heavy with this.
Thank you so much 💚
Good job! I have almost completley stopped drinking couple of months ago after drinking at least twice a week since I became an adult. Now at 27 I realized that it is maybe affecting me much more than I thought. And suprise suprise alcohol was ruining my sleep, ruining weekend activities, my mental health, my nutrition, my exercise. I also had bad nicotine cravings.. And when I decided to get drunk only on a special occasion the next days prove to me that not drinking is what I truly want. I went to London 3 weeks ago for a trip with friends and I decided to get drunk. I had bad anxiety afterwards and I finally decided that for me it is much easier to just quit all together. It truly is not worth it for me. Thank you very much for making this video! Good job. I wish you all the best.❤
I just wanted to say (I haven't even finished watching the video but still) : thank you so much for this interesting video. I've been watching a lot of videos about people quitting alcohol for a year, and talking about their thougts on this journey, but to be able to see you each month, with your reflections, doubts, questions... It was very enlightening to hear, as if we were following you on this path. Thanks again for this, and sorry for my english (I'm french)
Your skin definitely looked better at your 11 and 12 month mark than it did after you started drinking again. I enjoyed watching your journey. Good luck in the future.
Thank you for this beautiful UA-cam post . I have been trying your recipes for a few months and had no idea you went a year with out drinking , I want to try too now, and save money so I can cook more of your recipes 😊
You are so welcome! The amount of money I saved is unreal. I'm excited for you :)
Oh yeah! I am 52 and have been on this journey my whole life! 😂 I’m off it again now! Sober October and no roll ups! Even 2 per day is bad and yes hangovers are awful at 52! Good luck my love!!❤ wishing you healing vibes and strength - smash it! 🌸🦋💪
So I just finished the video and a whole year! Wow I can’t believe it! This video has come at the right time for me as wanted some inspiration- I hope u managed to stay off the nicotine and well done 👏
Merle!!!! So vulernable, so honest, so real!!!
I had quite the same experience with no drinking for a while, also the more negative side of being a workaholic and a lot of caffeine. But I really loved the experience and wanna do a longer strict break again without stopping for ever
Proud of you! This is a great message to put out into the world
This video was phenomenal and so relatable! Really appreciate the vulnerability friend 🖤
It's certainly no magic bullet. But stopping drinking alcohol was/is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Makes sooo many things so much easier and better.
I'm not sober, per se, and am not opposed to drinking again in future. But the pros of not drinking far outweigh the cons. I don't miss it at all.
I hope it helped you 💚
Just coming back to this, cause I couldn't watch the whole thing earlier.
But just wanna say that this was so fascinating and informative to watch. You're such a great example and role model. We're proud of you 💚
I decided yesterday that I want to be sober. Whenever I start drinking I don't know when or how to stop and this has gotten me into some bad situations/drama. I really needed this video today. It is only day 2 so I am not having any cravings yet but I know this coming up weekend is going to be difficult/tempting. I also am known as the "last person leaving"/"party girl". Wish me luck, I think I am going to need it.
You got this!! You don't need luck, you have all the tools you need already
So proud of you, Merle 👏🏻❤ I myself only drink maybe a few times per year because typically alcohol makes my body feel like crap. Even in smaller quantities. Makes you definitely appreciate/enjoy those moments more in my opinion.
Bravo, lady! It’s really hard giving up something when other peeps are still engaging in that thing. It’s crazy how much our lives revolve around alcohol. I am 3 years sober this past May, which was prompted by recognizing I have an addictive personality and my drinking habits were becoming way too regular. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made for my physical and mental health. And I have to say the NA options out there are getting super, super good!
LOVED every minute of this. Thank you for sharing so honestly. You are such a cool person.
Aw thank you so much. I really appreciate it 🥹
This was awesome! You are so inspiring! I can't wait to have a similar journey!
Once I hit my late twenties the hangovers got bad so I eased up and stopped for a while. I realized my friends weren't my friends, they were my drinking buddies and they felt I was too boring without being drunk. Still stings but I'm so grateful I'm not relying on it to socialize and I got to know myself so much better. Found a new tribe ❤
So proud of you!
That's good, just remember you are super awesome sober
I relate to this so much. Being the down-for-anything carefree party person was the main way I socialised and made friends, and honestly the main way I had fun too… and being sober makes me way more awkward, way more chill, and my social battery drains way faster. And yeah, I get bored so fast. It’s hard cos I don’t wanna stop having fun, but it does make me question, what do I even find fun in a social context? Ive always had loads of fun doing things alone at home, but like, I am having a much harder time having fun with other people. I do hope I get that back. I remind myself that I had friends and had fun with my friends as a teenager before I started drinking. I think, sadly, the issue is misalignment. It’s hard to enjoy alcohol based activities without drinking, but like, doing things socially where no one is drinking is much easier to enjoy (like group hikes etc). And if you have friends who always drink, that can be really hard
Merle, I am proud of and for quitting alcohol! May the Lord always bless and protect you!
There’s an NA spirit at my work called Three Spirit Social & it has Lion’s Mane mushrooms, so it still gives that relaxing effect, which definitely helps with things like this. Love to see all the realizations you have in this video! Thank you for sharing your journey.
youre a cool person merle at the end of the day, i know i have those social anxieties too but at the end of the day the people who talk to me are actually interested in me. and i feel like you have a similar effect and a stronger one at that imo. so even if youre in an uncomfrotable sober moment you can rest assured know on a deep level that youre a solid person at the end of the day and others see that. those who dont, well sometimes our anxieties are telling us we are spending time with the wrong people for a reason, in my experience at least sobriety removed some time wasters and i was then blessed with the best most amazing connections in my life. welcome the blessings ☺
This is beautiful, thank you so so very much
@@MerleONeal I'm shy over how many times I said end of the day 🙈 but I mean it you have a following for a reason 😊
Proud of you!!!
Thank you for sharing this with us Merle! I appreciate seeing someone with a platform using it to bring attention to this. There's nothing wrong with being sober or not sober, as long as you're happy with your self. Something something, everything in moderation, something something. I loved seeing the points you were making throughout the year and it was fantastic watching your mindset change as time progressed. I also enjoyed seeing the end where you weren't sure which way you were wanting to go (staying sober or not sober) and having actual reasons for why you would or would not want to start drinking again. It's incredible seeing hard work and discipline pay off (saving money, having more energy, feeling better mentally, etc) and I'm so stoked for you!
I was never much of a drinker, mostly because I don't love the taste of alcohol and my brain can't comprehend the concept of "acquired tastes", especially for things that can be as costly as alcohol. It felt a little alienating at times in my younger 20s because I would have a drink or two once in a great while (like months apart) and my friends would get kind of weird about how I was not drinking much. As we've all gotten older, they've become more understanding (or cared less?), so now I don't feel as alienated by not drinking. I also just have big money goals and I know that not drinking alcohol can help me reach those goals faster, so I also just don't really care as much about how I'm perceived for not drinking.
There are times where I will party hard on extremely special occasions, but that's at most like twice a year. I personally just don't like the feeling of being "too drunk" and don't like not remembering things, so when I do drink to get drunk, I drink a lot early on (like MAYBE 8-10 pm) and then I drink nothing but water the rest of the night and eat all the snacks. I've never been hungover before and I intend to keep it that way as I'm about to be 30 next year. Thanks again for another great video!
Love youuy! Sober, drunk, everything in between - the merle o'neal experience is always a1 😉
Thank you for sharing your experience Merle! In an attempt not to sound very high-horsey, I would definitely recommend people to not drink for a little while to really experience the impact of drinking. I have quit drinking for two months after a major hangover and I have to say it did a lot more mentally than I would have expected - not that I have felt better (I mean, besides not being hungover or extremely tired after a night of drinking) but moreso realizing the position alcohol took within my life and to experience whether you really enjoy drinking / what you're doing or whether it's tied to social expectations. I don't know if not drinking has a lot of health benefits such as being energized, feeling great mentally etc. - for me I haven't experienced that. But I realized I don't know if I actually like going somewhere to get drunk. I don't have a 'I don't drink' policy for myself anymore, but now when I am about to order a drink I am really conscious about whether I want alcohol or not. And being conscious of that - your own wants - I would 100% recommend to everyone. You don't need to have a problem with alcohol to discover this for yourself I feel. Thank you for inspiring me to further discover different experiences!
First, congrats on going a year with no drinking or vaping! That is a huge accomplishment. I don't know how many years ago I stopped drinking heavily, but honestly, it is worth it. You mentioned not having that hard and fast rule of no drinks. I allow myself a drink if I want in social situations. If I went to Ireland, I would have a beer for the experience, or a specialty cocktail at a wedding. After the one drink, I move on to other experiences. I hope this made sense and helps. It doesn't have to be one drink, maybe you can do two drinks, and not get that hangover. Continue to grow and learn. I love your content. Also, Happy birthday!
I relate with this so darn much, decided to do a sober October and hopefully the rest of my life. Thanks for sharing ❤
You got this!
This could not have come at a better time for me and I'm so proud of you for taking a break and learning about yourself! I had a scary experience with alcohol and quit drinking for a bit and I had all the same fears you had: are my friends still my friends? Will I still be fun to be around? Will I be having fun? And I've been diagnosed with social anxiety for a long time, so it was a major adjustment for me. But it got easier every time. I am drinking again, but I'm better at calling it a quits when my body is telling me to. I've had way too many staying up till sunrise nights and I am happy I've rekindled the part of me that enjoys a cozy night at home. I'm now on my journey to stop smoking and I think I'll have to quit drinking for that too. I'm very excited to get fit and actually be able to breathe when I walk up a slight incline lol it will be so worth it. I hope you continue the no nicotine. You got this!
Awesome job Merle. It is always good to redefine oneself and learn about our relationship with ourselves, others, our environment, and even substances.
I am almost 47, and I do not drink. I have never been a drinker. I have a highly addictive personality and have had issues with food, gaming and other addictions. I know I would not have had a good relationship with alcohol, so have never allowed myself to go that route.
The number one question I have always received is “How do you have fun without alcohol?” This question has always bothered me. I do a lot of things that are fun and that is probably better and safer without alcohol, like rock climbing, swimming, and back packing. Granted some people probably keep it under control and stay safe while drinking and doing these activities. However the thought of using alcohol during these activities scare me.
I have asked many of the people who asked me that same question, “How do you have fun without alcohol?” to see their responses and it baffles me how so many of them do not know how to have fun without alcohol.
Your video caused me to pause and reflect on my choices and to reevaluate my relationship to other substances and habits that I may overly rely on . Thank you for sharing.
thank YOU for sharing! I really appreciate it
I have been hoping to find someone going through the same process at around the same age, can relate so much... the identity crisis vs am I just getting old. The missing it but kinda not missing it. Sooo comforting to hear someone feeling the same. Crayy
Congratulations for having this realizations at this early age! It was not until my mid-thirties that I realized alcohol wasn't doing me any favor. It's been 6 + years since I stopped drinking now and it's hands down been the best decision I have ever made for myself. Feel more genuine, more me, I have less mood swings. Plus the current science links alcohol consumption with cancer, which is just another reason to be kinder to ourselves and avoid it.
This is so inspiring. Since that video I haven't really been able to look at alcohol the same, the benefits SOOO outweigh the "losses" if there really area any losses
Thanks for sharing Merle. The first week of December 2024 will mark two years of no alcohol for me. One of my earliest childhood memories is realizing how freeing it is to not have crutches--they were called bad habits then; smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling, etc...--in life. It surely is the second best thing I've done for myself. First is meeting my wife. Third is eating healthfully. Now, to conquer regular--minimum 150 minutes per week--exercise. ;-)
congratulations!
This was a sign for me! A year would be perfect for me! Thanks! I need this NUDGE! You’re amazing.
13 months no alcohol. Life is fundamentally changing for the best. Mediocre to brilliant is better than sloppy, wasted or hungover. Plus my brain and memory can actually perform. Hallelujah.
AMAZING
I also struggle with how loud people can get when they are drinking. Loop earplugs have been great for this. Congratulations on your year!
🎉 So excited for you and what youre allowing this experience to reveal for you. 3 years into my sobriety, and with the mental hard line that alcohol isnt a drink this body ingests anymore, i still waiver when im about to enter a social situation, or question what we would possibly talk about everytime.... i still convince myself tp cancel social get togethers, dreading the awkwardness, and it NEVER is awkward, eever.. its nuts..
I live in Italy now. I moved from the UK. I’ve noticed a complete difference with drinking with Italians and when I hang around Brits out here. Drinking with Italians is not about getting drunk. It’s about complementing the meal. Drinking with the Brits is about getting absolutely hammered. I have now stopped socialising with the Brits and truly enjoy a social evening with Italians.
This video was great! I love the self reflection, so refreshing!
Thank you so much!
You skin is so nice all the time and it’s hard to imagine it being “bad”