This Trend Has Made Me Rethink My Life
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- Опубліковано 22 тра 2024
- A new trend of young women comparing their lives to their mothers’ when they were the same age is going viral on TikTok. Some of it is hilarious, some is a little cringey, and some is downright disturbing. Let’s discuss.
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When my Mom was my age (53) she was already deceased for 7 years. Cherish the time you have.
Dang
Darn :(
I second this.. at age 34 I have outlived both my parents.. father died at 16 from a car accident and mother died at 31 and I was 16 to a drug overdose.. you truly do need to cherish the time you have, I have so much I wish I had done/said when they were around but at 16yo you're definitely not thinking it could let alone would happen.
@@user-rx9nr8dm8p My mom had an inoperable brain aneurism. I was 27. It was still way too unexpected. One day here, next day gone. You have my sympathies. I hope you're managing your life.
My mom died suddenly at 58.... I totally understand how you feel.
Miss her every day 🥰
Amala you’re 23?!?! Thought you were 28-32.. not because you LOOK older but bc of how level headed and articulate you are. Good on you, girl.
Yeah, an upper-class education really makes you stand out from ordinary people.
@@selohcin On the flipside, ppl like Charlie Kirk and Matt Walsh stand out as super articulate despite not going to college.
matt has some retarded takes tho
Gen Z are either mandchilds and eternal teen age girls, or based conservatives Christians at age 23 😂😂😂. Im 25 and Im quite conservative too, very into politics and philosophy. But single, penny less and without my own house
Wow could not resist using articulate. Unfortunate history with that, but that is the history.
This is the difference between treating marriage and family as 'cornerstone' (marrying at 20, accepting that things are going to be uncertain, working to make it happen) and capstone (trying to get everything else in place before even considering marriage).
Agreed, I told my guy that if we waited to have kids until we were “stable” then we’d never have kids. As long as we have our village and a way to provide, it’s enough. Our kids don’t need the most expensive things to have good lives, they just need the basics and good parents
I had my first kid at 22 working fast food living with my parents after moving from California wrote it fell apart. I had $2000 to my name. Priorities either change and your focus goes to your kids or you never quite grow up and make excuses forever. It was tough but it was possible.
I am 66. "Everything else in place" is never going to happen. At least it hasn't happened to me yet.
@@ankavoskuilen1725 Me, too. It's always been about rolling with the punches. Or, as I like to say, "Every time that giant Monty Python's foot comes down from the sky and stomps me, I jump back up (or crawl haha) and start again." :P
How is this not the top comment with a couple thousand "likes"? It hits the nail on the head.
Yes, there is a degree to the whole "need for an 80K annual salary to even imagine owning a home" is a monumental hurdle, but getting married and starting a family are the bottom priority on so many young people's list. Heck, growing up and simply being independent adults seems pretty low on people's list.
Many people in their twenties are still operating with these high school brains. Teenagers think "adulthood" means FREEDOM! Free to go to bed when you want, free from parents telling you to clean your room, free from chores, free to eat what you want, free from SCHOOL. So they hit their twenties and they start living as if being an adult finally means they're free from any sort of responsibilities. That "adulthood" means responsibility only occurs to them once in a while when they post some video on TikTok by the laundry machine with a "Look! I'm adulting!" tag.
There are a lot of young men who don't think they have any hope in the marriage department. Their high school experience has taught them that they aren't among the 20% of the "cool guys" who get all the girls. So why try to get one, when you "know" they're going to reject you because you already "know" you're in the 80% who don't have a chance. They haven't realized that high school is a socially warped environment dominated by both boys and girls operating under wildly WRONG ideas about what it means to be "grown up" and that, once you're out in the world beyond the high school campus the "cool guys" are largely recognized as arrogant jerks with little to no future.
On the flip side of the coin, women ask "where are all the guys?" - well, that because ten years ago when you were a junior and shot down the nerd who asked you to prom because you were hoping for that "hot" guy on the basketball team to ask you, you trained the guys you're looking for now to not even bother trying.
It used to be that college was one of the places that matured people past this stage. But, these days, the universities are even MORE screwed up about sex, sexuality, dating, and relationships than high schools are.
I’m 23 and my mom had me out of wedlock and would’ve been raising me with my grandparents while she was in college for about 3 years at my current age. She later died in her sleep of natural causes 7 years later. Still miss and think of her to this day, I’m so glad she chose life in her circumstances. Love you mom ❤️🥺
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It sucks you didn't get more time with her.
@@dianevierra781 thank you, I wish I got to know her better, like some more of her interests and other small things like that. I also always wonder how things would’ve ended up if she was still alive today.
I’m sorry about your mom too and that you had very limited time with her as well, but this convo isn’t about the choice debate and there was no need to make it such. There’s a time and place for that and it’s not this video.
Although, couldn’t you talk to your grandparents about your mother’s interests and personality and things of that nature you’d like to know about?
@@Khaleesi_Jack"I'm sorry about your mom and that you had very limited time with her as well, but let me try to dictate what should and shouldn't be talked about in someone else's video, on someone else's channel."
@@Khaleesi_Jack yeah you’re right, I wasn’t intending to make it a “choice” thing, I just have a lot of what ifs running through my head when thinking about her, and got a little carried away in my wording, even though I highly doubt it would’ve come to that bc I know she loved me and that makes me love her back. Also, regarding the grandparents thing l’ve asked them to, but even they don’t remember everything, they tell me stories, but that doesn’t always give me the full picture of who she was before I came around. Also, wasn’t expecting anybody to reply to this, just kinda speaking to the void, so thanks for your feedback in terms of commenting and family relationships and I’ll try to improve on them.
By 32, my mom had all 4 of her children (with different fathers) taken away, was addicted to alcohol, Meth, Crack, and Heroin, and in prison. I'm 32, broke and disabled, but in a 7 year relationship with an amazing man. We have a mortgage on a beautiful new build mobile home and a cat and my fiance is about to get a raise and promotion that will allow us to be able to afford to start a family. Quit smoking cigarettes and weed 7 years ago, and haven't been to the mental hospital in 7 years as well. I'm getting my physical health in order and am the happiest I have ever been so far. I think I'm doing pretty okay 👌. I thank God for my life every day, even the hard ones. Every wrinkle, every gray hair is a gift cause at 18, I didn't see a future for myself if you know what I mean. Praise be to God for not letting that happen.
Colleen, praise God you are in good hands. I wish you the best, raise a family in God's way. Stay strong.
I am grateful that you have risen above where you started you are awesome! Also, it is really great that your cat is so committed to the family that he brings in an income. :) Good Kitty!
Praise God, indeed! I pray He continues to bless you and pray you start a family in the near future! God bless, love! ❤
I got married at 20 and moved across the ocean with two suitcases lol 😆 😂 14 years later we are still happy.
Nice 🙂
starts out similar. I came across the ocean with 2 suitcases at 18... divorced at 58, single since and LOVING it. Oh, had kids, at 20 and at 22.
The WEF masterplan. 'You will own nothing and be happy'. The first part is happening but I see no sign of the second.
Or at least is superficial happiness, materialistic happiness. Day drinking certainly isn’t the experience of true happiness something truly fulfilling brings. It’s pretty easy to conquer the masses when they’re drugged up, single, and constantly told it’s better to be alone.
@rebeccaholloway3066 Jesus said not everyone should get married so the disciples didn’t. No they weren’t drinking or on drugs but people shouldn’t be expected to have kids and start a family if they’d just be toxic to their partners and kids. People are more free these days. There’s a sober trend that’s starting to go around now too. More pets are getting homes and making people happy. And more people are awakening to conspiracy theories these days too.
First convince them having kidss is a burden they dont need. Then, transition tons of childrens into infertility. I dont know what the plan is but it definetly entrail a big clean up.
Assuming most millennials and Gen Z never marry or have any kids it's possible in the future and this is just a predicition that the average 60 - 70 yr old millennial - Gen Z will be sitting on a bench talking to themselves, throwing cumbs at the pigeons and seagulls, living in public housing, lining up at the local food pantry and watching Android - Robots play a bigger and bigger role in society doing more and more jobs that human's once did and holding up society by offsetting the effects of population collapse in fact their may even be more Androids - robots than humans in some areas of the country and give it enough time and technological advancement and the Cylons might just take over.
self driving cars. you won't need to own a car. it will pick you up
Heck, 31, married, kids, college degree, full-time job, and still can't manage a house in my home town.
I'm 24, already married, I have a house because I've been a trucker since I was 21, and the mister and I are trying for children. I can day-drink and have my fun when I'm in my 50s and 60s, when I can have fun without worrying about having to go to work the next day. My grandparents raised my brother and I and raising children when I'm older isn't something I want.
As far as where my Mom was when she was 24, she was 3 kids deep and lived a hard life but is now sober! ❤🙌🏽
In my 50s and 60s I'll be too old and not as energetic as I am now, why wouldn't I want to have fun now instead? 😅
I'm 42, and yet I still don't feel I'm adulting correctly, despite being married, a father and a homeowner. It all feels...so fragile.
I'm 26, just starting my first job as a teacher with a master's degree. With no kids. Not married.
My dad at 26 was married for five years, about to have his fifth and final child, and was having a blooming millitary career.
Even with a job it costs money to have kids. Like a lot. It's much more affordable to just have one dog. I'm 24 and I'm still working a minimum wage job and I buy the groceries. I still live with my parents. If it was affordable people would be having babies if they could. In this economy they're not.
@@Katedrawscomparing a dog and a child is pretty stupid because at the end if the dog isn't a working dog it is just mostly a pet that doesn't contribute to society. Childern if raised right for adulthood becomes part of society and the future. There is a huge difference between a pet and a child. People who replace pets for children are doing so because it's novelty. You could get rid of a pet with little to no consequences. You can't get rid of a child without huge repercussion. Children will eventually become independent adults. A pet is a forever child with no autonomy or rights because at the end the owner will project whatever assumptions of what a pet wants.
@@CrimsonEclipse what if the kid endeup with a disability? another stuff is the dog doesnt gonna put you in a elders home or waiting you to pass into another life so he/she can have the house like a lot of sons/daughters do.
@@franciscovilcheavila960then you obviously raised your kids wrong. My parents had 5 kids and none of us would stick them in a nursing home. My mom passed on her own, but I'm already planning on having my dad live with me when he can't live independently anymore. When you have kids, you learn to respect your own parents.
@@franciscovilcheavila960People with a disability aren't incapable of contributing to society. In any case most good people who are good sons and daughters with a good grasp of morality are not the type to discard their parents.
"The more I learn about people, the more I love my dog."
-Mark Twain
In this economy people can’t even afford themselves
That’s the issue. During the depression, kids worked. No school, physical labor. My grandma picked cotton with all the other white girls and black girls when she was little.
i’m 20 and my mom was a sahm when she was my age. Now she is a pharmacy tech! Her and my dad are still going strong.
I bought my first house at 28 and having my first baby. My daughter has a home today because I gifted them a house at 39. I’m a boomer and we’re the last generation that can afford to gift their children.
I had hoped to have a home by 30. But with Covid and the debt forgiveness and the hikes prices, I couldn’t do it. My kids need to have room and space to run and play.
You won't be the last to use "gift" as a verb, unfortunately.
:(
Very true. My grandparents are boomers and they were always very generous with their money, inviting my parents and us grandchildren to trips abroad and splashing out on new furniture for my mum after dad divorced her. My parents... can lend us money in a crisis. And I'm very thankful for that security, but it's obviously a step down, even though both my parents have had longer and more successful careers than my grandparents ever had. ("Success" is relative, I suppose.)
@@JimC why unfortunately?
My mom started dating my dad at 18, married at 22, then had me at 26. I met my husband at 25, married at 28, then had my kiddo at 30. I did a lot of things similarly except I have a job I love whereas it took her until my current age (42) to find that. I found mine at 26. Honestly, I don't think I would've taken the career path I did if it wasn't for her though and her incredible forsight and insight into me as a person. Nobody knew me like her! She passed at 54 from cancer and it was the biggest loss of my life. I also lost my husband suddenly to a GI bleed 5 years ago which, again, hurt like hell. Life can be very unpredictable
My mom at my age, 35, had already had 10 kids and she'd been with my dad for 15 years.
I've had 4 kids so far and I've been with my husband 6 years.
I have no intention of attempting to beat her record of 13 kids.
I love this! My mom had 8. I'm far behind with 3. My brother is the one trying to beat ours and his wife family of 12. They are at 6 they have a few more to go 😅😂
If you don't mind me asking, what do you guys do for a living?
Do itttttt
@@redparis9225 I work from home as a coder and my husband is a brewery manager.
My mum came from a family of 15 siblings. Would have been 16 if their little brother didn't die young. Our own family has 6 children, 3 of which have children and expanding the clan, so to speak. Our side is not as prolific as gramgram's, but having a large family has its own disadvantages, but certainly many advantages. I mean, for one, our reunions are amazing. I have dozens of cousins and we bond over a lot of things. 😂😂
That's the thing, I want a family early. I'm 29 now trying to be financially stable so I can FINALLY start a family.
But how can I have a kid when I don't even have a solid place, every month rent and food are insecure.
Why should I add a child to that? How can I, in good conscience, birth a child into poverty.
Yet I feel like I'm being blamed for not being able too, I was born into this country and have paid taxes every year, why can I not have a family yet? Why are we even in this position? When I did everything I was supposed to do on my end.
I've been working 2 JOBS for YEARS, yet still live in financial insecurity.
Rent took all my savings, yet it's still the same.
How is this even sustainable for all of us?
Ask any non-first world country and they'll tell you that they're still populating the world. If they can do it, someone in first-world poverty, especially not absolute poverty (which is the only true concern), can do it. Money management is a great skill, same with cutting out the incessant snacks and expensive coffee shops, and to stop drinking or smoking so much. So forth. If it's not absolute poverty, then all of this is possible. It's actually very cheap to start a family, not only that but depending on the country you'll get child benefits. Baby supplies are free to pick up from charities, some churches and donation banks, or from family and friends. If you don't give your toddler an iPhone 15 and a Nike bag, you're doing better than what most families do. Also many people don't want to admit it, but if you live in an expensive city, that's the major problem.
You can thank the feminism movement for making it so that one income households are nigh impossible now. The current market is completely against new mothers, never mind how early they shove them back into work whilst the baby is only a few months old, maybe even newborn.
It’s not sustainable, and I’m sorry your circumstances are so. It’s beyond frustrating having to break your back to just get by while everyone tells you how lazy and ungrateful you are and that you’re doing your life all wrong. Many of us are doing the best we can for the least amount of benefit. I can only hope things get better for us
It’s not sustainable. That’s the point. Our financial struggles have been intentionally wrought by globalists who truly want you to own nothing. Finally, don’t be irresponsible but as a person who’s never had much, if I had waited to have kids until everything was just so, I’d have never had any. Look for a good man who wants to provide and protect. Marry him. Have kids. Be happy
Im from india, the biggest country in the world in terms of population. It is not a good thing when there are that many people. Overpopulation is just as much of a problem as underpopulation. There should be a healthy balance. @@bunille
I agree with you completely. There are certain standards I have, where if they're not met, i don't want kids at all. I want my kids to have what I had growing up, a house to live in, a yard to play in, and both parents present. I guess this makes me "bougie" but I don't give af. My parents grew up on farms, and their parents grew up on farms, but suddenly we're supposed to be okay with the prospect of raising our kids poor and in a small 2 bedroom apartment. My parents are more conservative than I am, and they completely agree with me. They actually think having a mindset of "you should be married and have x amount of kids before 30 like I did" completely moronic.
I am no parent, but when I was a teenager, I went to cinemas, listened to the radio, drew, read, explored the outside.
No social media or smart phones. Less technology and more variety in media.
More variety in media? You have only access to what is available near you. Now you have access to media that's from around the world.
@@goosieschmoo8239Yeah, but is it worth it if people don't care about that or get extremely overwhelmed with the avalanche of media available at a touch of a button?
The current generation is mostly hollow... they're not even dumb, they're just empty inside. Ephemeral.
I had a connection with everything that I consumed in entertainment and I was interested enough to go discover more things, for example... except it wasn't 100% via the Internet, it was on libraries, book/CD stores, flea markets, stores specialized in music, movies, film festivals, indie concerts...
I'm 24, I also went to the cinema, drew, read and got outside... but also had youtube and acces to internet!
I'm 26 and I did both.
More "LIFE", more real life. Fewer nut-jobs. Less serious depression. Healthier, happier young people who still cared about their older community.
Corporations should not own SFRs
i was losing every offer i placed with my FHA loan, to Chinese property investment firms out of Canada. Every single time i heard "we lost to a cash offer".
I don't think any investors should be able to own SFHs.
I have these conversations with my wife all the time. People have started families in worse conditions... wars, famine. I became a father young, the advice my father gave me when I was freaking out was "children come as they are as you are. There is no perfect time."Ultimately it's choice.The dating scene is so broken nobody knows what to do except blame everyone else.
My grandma had two little ones when Grandpa left for WWII and they both grew up during the Depression. Family happens even in the worst times. And kids back then had illnesses that could kill them or leave them crippled.
A family requires an amount of sacrifice I think some people are afraid of accepting.
@@cantankeroushousewife2942I hear story's from some my friends they're parents cut contact with them after they had kids maybe there also a issue with parents also trying to act like their daughters are still 13
it's bc young ppl today are taught to build their lives first and then start a family.
which is horrible advice, bc it's not easy to let others into the life you've built for yourself, especially after you've already been through the hard part on your own.
we're meant to start families when we're young and build our lives up around that foundation.
that's still how things are done in my family. my mom had me at 18, I had my first at 18.
my daughter just had her first baby at 24, which is probably a more reasonable age to start a family in these times.
parenting tends to be easier when you're still young enough to remember what it was like being a kid. it helps you relate and deal with them better, in my experience
Emotional maturity is important in order to be a good mother. I think its ok to not have 3 kids by 21 and I dont know why people cant see this.
My grandma had my mother at 20.
My mother had very harsh childhood because my grandma coudnt work on herself at all as a person and had ressentment towards her kids.
My mother had me at 40. Not by choice just because my parents met at 38.
I can say I enjoyed a very very happy childhood with my 2 brothers.
Had my mom had me at 20, I believe the cycle of pain would have been repeated and I wouldnt have enjoyed a good healthy happy home.
Understand that people are not robots and that people may have good reasons to wait and have individual paths in life.
Pushing everyone to have house and kids at 21 would bring misery.
Let people have their own path
This made me think of one of my church friends who went on a mission trip to Africa. One of the villagers was a mother who walked over a mile everyday to retrieve a pot of water for her family (No running water, no electricity, but she managed her household). My friend said she was one of the strongest women she's ever met.
In America, we have a very privileged and spoiled sense of what hard times can really be without realizing we have so much more than many other families living around the world.
Couples look at their studio apartment with all the utilities and think "we can't possibly have kids" when there are families of 6 living out of a dirt floor, 1 room house with no utilities and very little luxury. When that baby comes, people will find a way.
My mom at my age was a single mom with two kids trying to make it. In some ways I am further ahead than my mom but in other ways I am behind. I wish I was married with kids of my own. I've had to put that on hold because I have medical stuff and haven't been able to go out but hopefully soon!
And because of her and her perseverance, you get to thrive and live the life with steps that we all need to do.
@@bunille Absolutely! She is the best mom ever! I am the way I am because of her and she always put her trust in Jesus and modeled that for us.
Hey good luck! It was always my plan to get married and have kids early but medical problems have stopped me from going out too much, so I completely get that
@@justyouraveragebaka9493 Thank you! I appreciate that
I am a pet OWNER, not a pet PARENT. We have two cats (the first of whom was just a stray that God brought into our lives). As a woman with PCOS who also didn't find a man until my late thirties, it offends and upsets me when someone tries to suggest that our cats are our children. I hate it. We want children so badly.
I have PCOS as well, and I am currently pregnant with my third baby at age 36. Don't give up hope. I've had a doctor tell me that women with PCOS actually have better egg reserves later in life because they never ovulated regularly like women without it, and it's actually easier for us to get pregnant as we get older. Just keep trying and hopefully you can have the family that you want soon, it may just happen later for us.
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things will change for the better for you soon
I'm so sorry you're going through this
Sorry that you’re negative
@@alexasphotosgeneral3584 how is she negative
My mum got married at 18, was studying in uni, became an assistant lecturer in her uni, had 3 of us by the age of 26, got a scholarship, flew the whole family out abroad to study. She also had her last child by the age of 32 when working on her clinical forensic psychology PhD. During these years my dad had 3 operations on his back and got diagnosed with cancer, my mum's brother was killed and my mum had to have a serious surgery on her neck to remove part of her thyroid. Above all that she pulled though and got her PhD and is now working on becoming a professor.
Im 25 and i want to have a family more than anything. Its hard to find men my age that are emotionally mature. The dating scene is rough right now.
21 and never tried at all
I agree but honestly I'm pretty much at peace
You might just be too picky. My experience is that neither men nor women of the Gen Z generation are emotionally mature enough to have a relationship. Neither gender seems to have met the other one.
@WHATISUTUBE I’m gen z (older) and married for 3 years now. Met my husband at work when i was 19. I think the issue is people are dating instead of meeting people and connecting naturally i.e school, work, gym, clubs or churches.
My sister and I both married guys 4-5 years older.
@teresitaperegrina3741 I think people are "hooking up" and the world is more centered on looking out for "me"
Life is far slower paced these days for better or worse. Things are also so much more expensive
Nihilism and The Last Man. Nietzsche.
It’s all fun and games until the eggs run low
@@dearthditchit's all fun and games till your sperm is not as healthy as you may think which can increase the odds of miscarriages and birth defects. It's a two way street, buddy.
@@dearthditchit's all fun and games till your male gametes aren't as healthy as you think they are. 😂
My mom at my age had 3 kids and was addicted to drugs. I have a loving chosen family, the best guy I could ever ask for, and our first baby due in September. I thank god everyday for where I am in life.
Oh congratulations! I’m expecting our second baby in September! ❤ hope everything goes well
at my age (27) my mom got married to my dad, who was 43. they both wanted to settle down quickly and have always had an awful marriage. they're sooo unhappy and hate each other but stayed together. that's NOT what I want for myself. I've been single for almost 3 years but I truly want to find the right person to have a family with. I will never settle just to not be alone
I’m 22 but if I had kids by now, it wouldn’t be the best environment for them. I’m not ready because I still have terrible mental health problems and I have no connections with anybody. I’m still working on getting my degree and making more money to be financially stable.
It is good you are being sensible and realising it isn't the right time to have kids. Much better to try to have some stability.
Awesome job! Put that hard work in your 20s while everyone else is goofing off. The rest of your life will thank you later ❤ Found my husband at 20 we spent our 20s fixing our mental health issues due to poor childhoods and learning about finances (we were both taught nothing in regards to money) We're now financially stable bought a house last year and having our first kid. In my early 30s btw ❤ Keep working hard I promise you it'll be worth it.
You will never be ready really or have enough money to be ready to have children unless you hit the lottery or have some great job I can tell you when I had my daughter I was literally homeless at the time when I got pregnant and I was 41 years old but we made it work you figure out a way for your children
@@shirleyelliott2985 the difference is , you were homeless, the original commenter says they have mental health issues. Do you even realize how mental issues affect pregnancy and the child after they are born? If someone is schizophrenic or having severe thoughts of "unaliving" themselves do you think the baby deserves to be involved in misery and suffer from the mother's mental health issues?
@@intergal6916 sir just because I didn't list my list of mental issues doesn't mean that I do not have them I have major depressive disorder generalized anxiety disorder obsessive compulsive disorder but I didn't see the need to go into all that just because someone doesn't tell their whole life story doesn't mean that there isn't more to the story
I do believe watching our parents and friends go through tough divorce have affected people negatively enough to not make them rush marriage.I like your honest answers. People like Ben Shapiro would call us immature and lazy for being single at a certain age.
What was my mom and dad were doing at my age…?
Divorce. A bitter, hateful divorce.
How am I suppose to have a wedding when my family hate each other?
The fact pets weren't kids they were working parts of the family especially on farm and ranches. Dogs were for security and cats were for catching mice. Not child replacement.
Peoples parents were about the year 2000, not 1800.
@@HappinessDIY 😂😂
@@shanaemartinez1264 lol it’s true, this person is acting like people 20 years ago were plowing fields early to prevent famine and paying duty to the crown or something.
@@HappinessDIY While a dog was a "member of the family" in early 00s (they always were, so let's not conflate companionship to treating them like a "daughter/son"), the dog DID play their job role somehow in majority of households. And they absolutely were not replacement for kids.
FACTS and nowadays a lot of women ask me why I don't have a pet for when I tell them I am single with no kids, and I just give them some answer similar to yours
I bought my first house at 28 and having my first baby. My daughter has a home today because I gifted them a house at 39. I’m a boomer and we’re the last generation that can afford to gift their children
Boomer with an OF…. find jesus
You’re not a boomer, “Lumi OF Model” lmao. Also your statement doesn’t make sense at all whatsoever. You’ve got to be a bot or shill.
My hubs and I are planning to buy a large acreage property that we can eventually place multiple homes on for our kids future families. It's a task but will be worth it to give them a head start.
That is super deep and sad... The last generation who can afford to gift to their children.... wow
Not true. People just are very uneducated about how to do it now. This current economy wasn't happening 10 years ago. People are complaining about not being able to do things they never intended to do. I was paying attention to how the narrative among my generation and gen z shifted from not buying homes because they wanted more freedom and not be held down with a mortage now they are crying they can't afford it. My generation is full of cry babies that made bad choices and now that things ARE bad they blame that on their continued bad choices.
My mom was a stay at home mom until I was eight years old when she had to go back to work to help make ends meet. She worked from 1977 until she died last August. I, on the other hand, have been a stay at home mom for 20 years. I'm grateful I've been able to do this for my children and that my husband understands the importance of having one of us at home.
When my mom was 20 (My age) she was pursuing her degree, had a huge social life, knew how to take care of herself, was fun to be with and looked better than I ever have lol. I will admit, she was so career focused that she really didn't teach me basic life skills, which I still struggle with to this day.
Other than basic morality and general advice there are no basic life skills that your parents can teach you, that you can't possibly learn on your own or with your peers.
It will be hard when you get married. I still hate waking up early preparing packed lunch for the kids 😂 but you learn
skill issue
@@uruloki2758it's worth noting, though, that we'd rather have it happen when it's supposed to, along the way through your parents' support (trips, extracurriculars, etc so you can engage with your peers and explore the world with your own eyes) rather than having to spend time and money learning it in your 30s when you very likely don't have it because of not having the skills and knowledge yet.
@@jennyj0007 then why have kids in the first place?
The economy and social values make things very hard. Today is so hard to have a conection with someone that values a life together... Its sad.
My mom had me and my 3 siblings when she was between the age of 30-40. Me and all my siblings are in our forties now and non of us can afford to own a home
I will say that I’m glad all these doggos are living their best lives lol
I am a mom, my children are all almost grown. My first was born four days into me being 22 years old in ‘98. We live in a different world now.
It can change so fast. My husband saw this trend and said he felt this way a few years ago. He was 34 when he got married to me (25) and now we are in the process of buying a house and having a baby. He spent his 20s studying and saving up money, living with his mom. Sometimes it takes a while for good decisions to bear fruit.
I remember when I was 35 thinking 'what was Mom doing at this age?' She was 70 at the time, then did the math, oh crap, she was having me!
I have no kids and my Mum had 6 kids at my age!
By the time my dad (born 1926) was 23 he had held down two jobs, graduated high school, fought in a world war, got married, started a business and had his first of four children.
By the time I was 40 all my kids were grown and gone. My husband and I were free to do what we wanted when we wanted we would help out our kids when they needed it but they were raised to be independent. My husband and I were married for 40 years until he died suddenly at 61. We never regretted a single minute in all those years. Kids today are afraid to take the chance to really live life. Take the chance, you may lose but what if you win it's really worth it to try.
You can't just "take a chance" when concerning children. What if you decide you hate being a parent? What if you can't afford to feed them? Then what? Kids are dumped and neglected every day. You have no idea what living in poverty with children is like. You don't know the suffering those parents go through. Easy for you to say "take a chance" when you're not the one suffering through it.
To saltycat I know what it's like to be broke and to worry about my children daily. The point I was trying to make was you can't spend your life in fear of what might happen, if you do you could miss your chance of pure happiness sure there's a chance of poverty there's no guarantees but what are you going to do when you haven't got your parents to protect you from the world. Eventually you're going to have to face the world on your own. Are you going to meet it head on or cower in a corner. Life is hard but can be a joy. How you choose to live it is up to you.
We can't have full-time and lifelong job security. We cant afford homes. We are overtaxed.
If we could survive, we could try to thrive.
I live in Israel. The culture here is such that we have a DUTY to have children. Every child brings blessing into the world. Did I think long and hard about it while I gave birth unmedicated to twins in a bombshelter at the beggining of the war? yes. BUT, if after my children have eaten, there is still enough food for me to eat and sustain a pregnancy to term, AND, the environment isn't stressful or harsh enough to cause miscarriage THEN, it is good enough to bring children into. I know it's an extreme view to Americans, but its what I've experienced.
I'm 41 now. Been in the job market since I was 15, full time with 22 after graduation.
Moved from Germany to Switzerland because of this overtaxing-thingy. Don't see the reason to work more than half of my life for the government only to be treated like crap when I actually do need support.
Generally enjoying my life and with the money saved during the pandemic I could make the downpayment for a brand-new apartment with all bells and whistles. Will be paid off in 15years max.
There is no lifelong job security. There is lifelong learning and repositioning on the market.
Life's good now. Wasn't always the case. At one time we have to stop being angry that the world is unfair and take ownership of our own success.
My mum was already dead at my age (don't miss her, she was horrible) and my father was a failure of a teacher and an alcoholic. So yeah, I also "won" this round.
I also don't do reliationships. Done it three times. Wasn't horrible, but wasn't fullfilling either. Good friends are more important.
I feel people just need to rethink exactly what quality life really means. This whole 2 jobs huge house 2 cars all the perks etc it is just stuff. My husband is from Newfoundland Canada. We live in Victoria (rurally ) married 33 years. We have just decided to move our family back to Newfoundland because it is a slower pace . People work to play there not work to survive. Now we are successful here but the girls need a better quality life to find a good partner and we want a slower pace. You can find a home there for less than $200,000. Or a mansion on a lake for $725,000. People need to just get back to basics, stop trying to keep up with the jonses and live. If it isn't working where you are then look around for areas where it can work. Make the sacrifice so you can work to play instead of working to make ends meet.
9:15 that statement about our 20's being just for fun that's literally the harmful mind set I had. Honestly not a day goes by that I wish I could go back and reclaim my 20's to take away 10 years of my life that genuinely felt like a waste. I put my friends, fun, and gaming over everything only to realize truly what a waste it actually is. My 30's were nothing but me trying to figure out how I can make career out of something I care about and really striving to bring my desires in to reality which I didn't completely come out a winner but I can genuinely say I DID NOT WASTE MY 30's! Today I am actively working towards finally having my desired career and it's definitely in my grasp I just will need some decent luck when trying to market it ;-)
I noticed a lot of adults in their 20s don't want kids or marriage. I was married at 21 & had my son at 23. My son just turned 26 & is single & working but would like a family some day. My marriage failed because he was physically abusive so I left & got divorced. I remarried a police officer at 37 & now we added 3 stepchildren to our family. With our 2nd grandchild on the way. My stepdaughter & her boyfriend aren't married. She wants to be. Hopefully he will ask her before baby #2 is born. 💝✨️#familyiseverything
My parents were both dead at my age.
Zoinks
@@Gimmetimetothinkdawgyikes Scoobs
@@Gimmetimetothinkdawg you're an a-hole
I'm so sorry
@@shanaemartinez1264 right. So am I
I'm Asian, we don't fly from the nest lol 5:08
I'm 27 and the last time I went on a date was at 18 to my senior prom, and that girl I only knew as an acquaintance. I haven't really even thought about long term relationships because I'm in software engineering which takes a ton of my time and energy to just perform well at work. It leaves me with little to no time or energy to devote to building relationships.
That’s BS. My partner is in the same field. Have fun being lonely later in life
And? You don’t know what he could be going through. Stfu and stop looking down on people!
27, single, my parents had their third child, my brother.
It's bit unfortunate that they seem to have been so much further along than I am at that same point in my life. But then again, my dad took a steel I beam to the head at work. So I'm doing better in someways.
My only child is 22 right now. When I was 22, I was a single mom of a 3yo. I took 12-15 credits at the college, worked in fast food, and paid my mother 500 bucks a month for rent.
Dude, I thought I carried me and mine on that little 500, but that confidence was intentionally gifted to me for the end goal of making my own family independenct.
My son has completed his Associates degree and is working on his Bachelors in Kyoto Sangyo U. He will be home in the first week of August. I cannot wait!
People around here forget that I home educated that boy, via textbook instruction, from 7th grade on into the CCP for dual college. They forget that my tail stayed parked at the community college several hours at a time for multiple hours a week. They kinda forget that it was hard to come up with 1,500 here and 3k there for a single mama.
Oh, that’s my millennialism showing. I want my cookie. God knows every parent gives their best, which ain’t necessarily the best, but it’s all we can expect of a parent. From the beginning of time to it’s end, we love them dang kids, don’t we?!
My mom had her first kid at my age (18) whilst im just... existing in my room
Same 😔
Pick up a book, get a volunteer job, go to the gym. Merely "existing" is a choice. Giving up is a choice. Being weak is a choice. The circumstances SUCK, but what makes life good? How you deal with said circumstances.
@@jennifermarlow.ok guru
@jennifermarlow. babes.... not everyone has a choice. Being weak is sometimes not a choice. Just existing is sometimes not a choice. I don't really have a choice, if I could I would. don't try "fixing" things when you don't know the circumstances of what other people can and cannot do.
26 with a long-term partner, house, odd career, and LOTS of pets. No kids yet, but I'm chill with that atm.
My mom was married and pregnant with her 2nd kid, I think. And she might've been working or sahm at the time, not too sure on her exact timeline.
I'm thankfully doing much better than my mother. She had just had me two years prior and was cheating on my dad. She's the reason why we lost that house. She'd abandon my brother and i at home alone while her and her friend slept around. Disgusting. At 23 for me I had just gotten married and was pregnant. I had my first at 24. I'm 25 now, trying for another baby.
My mother had my sister when she was 20, then she had me when she was 26 and she passed away at 47. I just had my first baby. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years (11 in June) our son was born in July last year. We wanted to have financial stability before bringing kids into the world. I think that’s the major difference. Kids are a lot more expensive than they used to be. :/
If that is true, why are poor people still having lots of children?
Maybe people nowadays just want to much, think about that.
My parents started on wooden crates and secondhand stuff…
When I was 20 I gave birth to my son. I was married, and with help from family, I cared for him and held onto a very necessary full time job. I see many 20 year olds today crying for their parents when they get pulled over for speeding, or needing them to go to doctor’s appointments with them. Trust me, I know what it’s like to need help from family, and I will always be grateful … but this I don’t understand.
Married at 20 and 21, went to college at 23/24 with a 2-year-old child in tow. It was NOT easy, but we did it. We are both retired educators, still married 36 years and (2 more children) later.
In 1985 I bought a house. My ex and I had mediocre jobs. Bank teller, tin man. Our combined annual income was 5k more than the cost of our home. Kids today don't stand a chance.
As an elder millennial who spent her 20s “finding herself” my biggest advice for Gen Z (especially those who value love and family) don’t fall into this delaying adulthood. I have many friends who are now starting a family and having a hard time or friends who are unable to find committed partners. I wish I would have started having kids and a husband younger. It’s so fulfilling way more than a career. Don’t let social media fool you. It’s funny but it’s lonely.
I’m a millennial and married at 21. We rented a house , traveled the country, and had decent jobs by age 22. We still don’t own a house or have kids by 28 but I’m proud of what we’ve done with our lives. I feel mature and happy.
No one ever brings up the lack of parenting, care & guidelines due to divorce, missing parents & lack of mentors.
My cousin has both her parents and she's still with her parents because she's just not mature & lacked a strong mother & father who babied her. Her dad defends her lifestyle while still wanting her out, and her mom can't say much of anything to get through to her because she's stuck as a weak parent who can't judge.
Where as my parents are divorced, my mom didn't feel like I needed a male figure in my life. My dad was missing in action & quite frankly can't parent even a dog. My dad is like talking to a wall. My (half) "brothers" are continuing the bad cycle having kids but missing in action and not giving them good parents.
I could've gotten married but I refused because I knew I wasn't mature, ready or good for such a relationship. I loved the girl but it would've never worked out. We both would've been miserable and would've probably gotten a divorce. I know because we couldn't even stay friends, at least she couldn't.
So as many times as I've heard "date more", "get married", "have some kids". It's honestly not for everyone as I keep hearing as well. Marriage is for me just not until I am capable. Plus I have a disability. So if a woman is willing to make the dough in the relationship at least until I can get a job suited to my disability then have at it. That said, I don't think someone in my situation has to worry about marriage even though it's important to me. If I don't ever get married it won't be because I didn't try but because it might not be for me in this life. I don't have to live like everyone else or the way I dream. If it happens good, if not that's okay. I care more about my relationship with Christ. He'd wants me to get married but he also wants a disciple.
This is quite interesting, my mom and I were in very similar places, both stay at home moms, I think I'm one baby ahead of where she was at 23 but we were both married stay at home moms, we also both got our gallbladders removed at 22.
Honestly more growth happens in being responsible for a marriage and family, but I understand that the country’s current culture and politics make it difficult and even scary to settle down.
Exactly 😭
I think this trend is also an indication of financial times Gen X parents can't even begin to realize how blessed they were to be able to go to school and but homes in the 80/90s compared to now. I am heading into my 30s and I want a family one day but I'm trying to pay off debts and I'd like to have my own home -- it's ridiculous out here. I don't even feel safe dating in the world's current climate especially as a black woman. Gen X parents could go to school, get any degree and then get any job regardless of their studies; my mom got a degree in social work, currently does nothing of the sort and has made 6 figures for the entire 2nd half of her life at this point. My dad owned his own hauling company for almost 2 decades. I think the comparisons need to stop -- everything is a mess. Getting married and creating families is the least of Millennials and Gen Zs problems.
I'm a Gen X'er and I agree. I see my younger family members struggling with these same issues.
@@saltycat662 exactly and I know that I’m blessed to make a good income but everything is so expensive that when I feel comfortable enough to start the house search everything suddenly goes up in price. I’m grateful that my Baby Boomer grandparents recognize that and allow me to live with them and my “rent” is helping out with any expenses as needed and just looking out for them.
Im 28, I’m a divorced single mother living with my parents.
My mom at 28 had a home in California with my dad, she was stay at home mom and my dad had a full time office job.
They had two cars and a home and a stable marriage. Ugh :(
I’m 26, and back in school full time(hopefully for the last time) and living with my parents. At this age, my mom was a widow and a manager at a cosmetic store. She didn’t meet my father until she was in her early 30s.
Been at my job over 8 years. My husband and I run our households on a single income in order to homeschool our kids, and even with making around $25 an hour ( minimum wage is 12) when we tried to get a house they saw our income which is the equivalent of TWO people working minimum wage full time, we were told our only options were houses that were fixer uppers…unless your rich you’re not buying a house during this presidency. My parents at my age were able to rent a nice house, put us in multiple sports a year, afford their own passions like drumming and going out. We maybe can squeeze a dominos pizza in every couple months…maybe
I had my 1st kiddo at 36, 2nd at 39 and hopefully our 3rd at 42/43... did school and than worked to build up our retirement plan.... but also I dint feel my age... it felt right to have my kiddos when I did.
I don’t understand the disdain for ppl in their 20s not getting married or having children. Idk about other cultures but I know in black culture that’s literally what my and my friends’ parents told us to do. We followed the advice after watching them struggle and seemingly regret their decisions and now everyone’s mad. 🤦🏽♀️ (not saying this about Amala just in general)
Exactly I’m not even mentally stable to have a family and I’m working to get my dream career. It’s better to focus on improving my mental health and getting the career I wanted first then having kids right now and having the troubles of taking care of them and work at minimum wage jobs. I really don’t get this standards of “we all should have a family right now just because not teenagers anymore”
@@M0V3DXD the way I see it, I’m not worried about what anyone else has to say because the older generation doesn’t even put into the younger generation the way they used to and if you get married and/or have children they won’t offer support we’ll just have to figure it out. Might as well take our time to make sure we’re emotionally, mentally, and financially ready.
my mom had me at 30 so i see no problem with waiting a few years. a women can still birth like 5+ children even if she gets her first child at 30 so i don't see the problem personally
Maybe they are an older generation or of a culture where you are just expected to have a family, like this is a person's main life goal and also passing on the genetic and name lineage. I'm Australian and not from a background culture with this pressure to have kids. In fact one bio parent told me not to have them. The other parent kind of expected I would but never pressured me. I'm 45 now and never had kids and won't.
@JustFacts85042 I believe I heard the high chances of having children with autism, miscarriages and other health problems is when you’re entering 40s or 50s. It’s still doesn’t change the fact that if I have kids right now, it would be a terrible environment for them when you have poor mental health problems and not having at least decent financial status.
It's not really hilarious, it's more sad.
My dad married my mum when she was 19 years old, my dad was 23 years old ( I'm 20 ) My dad started working when he was in his 20's, he met my mother because his company at the time send him to work in her hometown. My parents were married, worked and had children in their 20's.
Now it's just not easy as before.
Is it me or these young people look much older than their parents did at their age? You’d expect the opposite to be true since their parents in most cases were “adulting” in their early 20s.
Weight and alcohol.
I would know because my weight and drinking have definitely aged me compared to my mom at the same age.
@@MirandaSinistra I meant the young people in the video, that girl at 29 looked about 40. Maybe it’s makeup and clothing too, no idea.
God bless you and your work young lady 💙💙💙
Life is WAY more expensive now. That said, we can and should still be prioritizing the right/best things.
The issue there is not everyone has the same “best/right things.”
This is interesting for sure. I'm 37 and in a sense I'm behind my parents as they had the 3 of us by this age, but they still didn't have their shit together. LIved in the hood, end up getting raised by my grandparents because both parents ended up deadbeats and seperated. I ended up getting a 4 year degree, focusing on career and travel and decided not to have kids thus far as I essentially had to step up and play dad due to my circumstances and in a weird way, felt like I've already had kids. Basically, I'm living a simpler minimalist life now which I enjoy. :)
At 29 my mom had been married for 11 years and was on her 5th pregnancy. Her husband owned the house. She was a stay at home mom / home maker.
At 29 I work part time. I have been married for 7 years, have one child (3yo) earth side. We have a mortgage for our home
My mom was killed by a drunk driver when she was 25. When she died I was 7 and my brother was 4. I’m now 45 years old, I’ve lived 20 years longer than she did. My mom was busy raising us when she died, I’m busy raising my kids now, quite a bit later in life. My first child wasn’t born until I was 31 years old.
My mom had fled her home country from a civil war, migrated to an unknown country, had children, suffered abuse from my dad, migrated to another new country (both times did not know the local languages), and was pretty miserable for the most part.
I wanna add: times were different back then, and it's ok to take your time. In my culture, people get married quickly before truly dating or living together. My mom chose very poorly, because she got fooled. I'm not following her footsteps.
Clearly, these parents were too young to raise stronger, more independent children - I’m thinking a middle ground would be smart. I was married at 22, but we waited 5 years to have our 3 kids. They’re amazing teens now who we hope have MUCH BETTER lives than we ever could have! They’re on that track for sure. …It takes a village regardless.
God bless ❤️🔥
All part of the depopulation plan
100% agree. Blackrock/ESG corporations control the food, toys, pharmaceuticals, bigger vet offices, diagnostic labs, college labs & programs... and every single human social/welfare program passed over the last 70 years has been quietly followed by legislation to cobble purpose breeders and reward irresponsible ppl & puppy mills. Spay and Neuter Your Pets 1) doesn't work at all, and 2) solely exists to depopulate companion species and prepare us for Spay and Neuter Your Kids.
How? People were poor in the past and still had a lot of kids.
They had a lot of kids because those kids could help around the farm or bring in money. Now these damn child labor laws… they can’t help bring in anything! /s
@vg7735 Environmentalism didn't become a thing until just after WWII.
@@vg7735 Exactly. But today's generation has been thoroughly brainwashed,
"It's too expensive to have a baby."
There is this video of the "tradwife" who is having like 3 kids in 4 or five years and she's around 24. Mind you this woman is a model, her husband is a model, they are millionaires, and the commenters flamed her mercilessly for having that many children at that age.
At 27, I'm still trying to build up my career with no spouse and kids
Meanwhile, my mother was raising me when she was 27
When my parents were my age they were divorced and struggling to pay bills, both of them, while sharing custody of 4 kids together. I am married, own my house and love my career. I am blessed to not be faced with the same fate my parents did at my age!🙏🏾🤗
My mum got married at 22 and had me at 24 and my sister at 27. I'm 32, never wanted a career, and wanted to follow in her footsteps by getting married and having kids young. Alas, I'm I spent 13 years with the wrong person and now find myself single, childless and navigating dating properly for the first time, and it's all online. It sucks! This is not what I wanted out of life, but I was one of very few at school who wanted to get married and have children young. Now they're all married and popping out kids, and I will likely get left behind!
Three kids at 35, but if I had to do it over again, I wish I would have started my family at 25. It only gets harder as you get older.
Do you feel like you got a lot more financially secure and got a lot of fun and freedom out of your system before having kids at 35?
Glad I waited until 35 to have kids.
One could blame feminism, but I would blame the internet.
I’m 70 retired, as were my parents at my age. I got married at the same age as my mom-29, which was probably a bit late for her generation-and had 2 kids which I raised as stay-at-home mom almost told they left home. Then went to school, had a profession for 20 years. Now I’m being dog mom and grandma. Life story…
I'm 33. I am happily married (nearly 12 years), with two children in primary school. I am going to University at the moment to get my Masters. My Mum was divorced with three children, low paying job, building her way back up and entering a new relationship that would result in two more children. She kept building and is doing so well for herself. She taught me to keep going no matter what and do the best with what you can at the time you are in.
I am the reverse of this trend in a lot of ways. I am 47 and own a home have 5 dogs and 2 cats. Own a catering company, live in the country and both my kids are in the mid to late twenties with careers and homes of their own in different countries. My mom at 47 was unfortuneately in a low income rental on her 17th (slight exageration) live in BF post divorce. Good but terrible money management. She was still raising my much younger sibling and also have custody of my neice. It was a rather rough time for her. I feel like through lifes ups and downs I turned out ok. Not perfect but ok. Might be single at this stage in life but loving living it to its fullest. I got married young, raised my girls, went to college at 30, developed my career and now living the benefits of that hard work.
Honestly ultra coservitives want to push the agenda of having kids as soon as possible..My mom had me at 22 and We both had to live with our grandparents until I was ten. She was a single mom until then, I think It is great to wait until 25 until to have a child or at least when you have some sort of father figure and a stable job or have you and your husband both have one. And there is no shame in never having kids anyway.
@angelramic1229 It’d be great if people were having kids at 25 but they’re lucky to be married at that point. There’s shame in never having kids. If everyone made that choice, society would collapse.
I agree. Many conservatives seem to hate on childless women and it's really disturbing. Having kids seem to inflate their narcissist egos and it's bizarre. Idk why they're mad over something that has no affect on their lives whatsoever.
My mom had me at 20 and my mother in law had my husband at 17. No way in hell could I have done that at their ages. It caused them a lot of emotional issues too. It stunted their emotional growth. My mother in law got divorced and was able to grow up on her own. My mother ended up a widow and did the same thing. People need to live a life for themselves before they settle and have a family.
Conservatives also say not to have kids out of wedlock.
That would've completely prevented your mom's situation.
As far as age, I think it depends on the person.
And not every person should be a parent.
I guess i would fall into the ultra conservative slot. But I've always raised my kids to be pretty free thinking. To follow their own path in life. Learning and growing is how you end up in a healthy mindset. I have a son whom is coparenting with his son's mother. I also have a daughter that is a stay at home mom of 3 beautiful girls ages 4 and 2 (twins). My youngest is 27 and has 2 (furbabies) she has a boyfriend she is open to children if it happens but if it doesn't she's ok with that also. I don't push any of my kids to walk my path in life. I'm their parent and my job is to guide, teach and love my kids unconditionally and fight like a mama bear if someone tries to hurt them. But being an umbrella to shelter them from a storm or a warm blanket to comfort them can't be good but to much can stiffle or smother. Knowing how to balance between guiding and when to stand back and let them walk on their own isn't easy but when done right your children will always use your guidelines to navigate through life. Is it easy?? No but life isn't easy. This is what I was taught by one of the best moms I know and have used it through out my kids upbringing. My sister is an extremely good mother. Being conservative most assume we don't know how to let go. But my faith in God teaches me to know when to let go and let God. He is in control and by letting him guide me I'm letting him teach and guide my children I know my children are in the best hands.
Stop fornicating.
Oh Amala, this look is a *gift!*
The hair, the glasses, the top (dress? Top?), loving it so much. 💖
By 24 (11 years ago 😩) I had 2 kiddos and I remember so many people calling me a “young mom” which I found so funny because every older woman I knew at that point had children at 19-25, husbands and houses and careers, and that was normal. It’s funny how times change.
My mom had me, her 2nd kid at 29 and just got her RN license. Me at 29, I’m single, work full~time saving for a 1 bedroom apartment in San Francisco.
There's nothing wrong with having fun instead of having a family. There's also nothing wrong with not wanting kids and preferring to have pets instead.
Agreed. But some angry, judgmental blowhards will get offended from your comment. They think their genetics will bring forth the messiah or something and tell you that they way they live is the only way everyone on the planet should live. It's pure narcissism.
Fun won’t be there in time of need, the chickens always come home to roost
@@gator7082 that's our problem, why should you care? Also, sometimes children are not there in times of need either. There are lots of abandoned old people in retirement homes
@gator7082 not your children's job to take care of you. Sort your own life out and let them live theirs
@@brendagomez8656 You know what I do for a living? I'm a Fire/Medic. I routinely get called to help people who don't necessarily have an emergency, but don't have anyone else to call. Eventually the older people in your lives die, and your friends disappear one by one over the years...and then the sh** hits the fan and you have nobody to lean on, and I can assure you your dog will be useless. I see it every shift and it's sad to see. That is what forms my perspective and why I care. If you think your good time bar buddies or sorority sisters are going to be there when you stroke out at age 58 you are sorely mistaken. There may be a few people to help you out in the beginning, but I promise you they will tire of it as they have their own lives to worry about. Hence where I come in. 911 gets called at 2 A.M. because your 64 year old diabetic a** can't get off the couch and needs help going to the bathroom. I know in your mind this sounds extreme but I promise you it is more common than you think especially with women. Guys just drop dead.
I never knew people with the kind of virtue-signalling smug obnoxious superior attitude so many have today Sickening
I'm a 15 year old girl and I have 2 younger brothers. My parents are working their a*ses off for me and my siblings to be able to have a stable standing point when we graduate, especially because of everything that's going on right now... Especially cause of the inflation with the raise in gas prices, taxes, etc... I can't explain how much I appriciate them for doing everything they can, so that WE can have everything they didn't. I was thinking about marriage and having kids a lot recently, but... I'm scared. I'm scared that even despite my parent's efforts I won't be able to afford day to day necessities in the future. I'm scared that if I DO start a family, it'll be harder to survive financially. Will I be able to have a stable job + be able to raise my kids and spend time with them? Will I be able to have time for myself? I don't want to imagine myself as a burnt out adult. The option of being a "stay at home mom" doesn't even seem possible due to today's economics. I've seen a LOT of older people talk about how lazy my generation has become, and how many of us don't want to start families in the future and all of that stuff. But, if I have to live off of bread and water to be able to pay my rent, then I don't know if any of it is even worth it. I'm aware that I'm overthinking stuff, and that it's too early for me to worry about all of this, but 18 will hit me sooner than I know it. Will I go to college? Will getting a college diploma even be worth it?
Thanks for doing this! I'm not that far off from my mom. I went to college, while my mom didn't. I've moved a handful of times and my mom didn't. However by my age (38) she was working nearly full time and raising her kids... that's what I'm doing! She had 3 and I have 2. She was married until my dad passed away in 2019. My husband and I have been married 15 years. Following in some pretty great footsteps. SOOO grateful!
i think its good ..to many humans on earth, to many children without parents are starving and dying....why not be focused on yourself and your joy and dont be egoistic and wanna reproduce for some old thinking..better try to dont harm any animals and humans and give a helping hand when you can..MY OWN OPINION, dont hang me
Agree
I’m 32. When my mom was my age she was a widow. Her husband passed away in a car accident. She had a dog named Sasha that she had trained really well. She and Sasha lived in a small house she and her first husband had owned together. She was also dating a real jerk named Kenny. It was at this age that she met my father (who is 2 years younger than her) and a widower himself. His wife and daughter were killed when a drunk driver ran them over. My father was a single dad to my older brother. My mom had been told she would never have children as she had 5 miscarriages and 5 ectopic pregnancies. I wasn’t even a thought at this time.
Now for me. I’m happily married to my best friend and we have a son who is 9 (almost 10). We own a home in the country and have a small farm. I myself had an ectopic pregnancy before having my son. My son ended up being a C-section just as I was when I was born.
So for me the trend is actually backwards compared to most people. 😹
I am 29. Married at 21. Have 3 kids now. We own a home because it was a priority to us and we spent time saving and investing rather than spending.
I'm ahead of my parents at my age!
I really think the priorities are backwards in this generation. People can buy houses in this economy. It needs to be a priority to save up. Sure its harder, but not impossible. Not traveling or spending on expensive things.
I don't need free time in my 20s to find myself. I have grown and been happier in my 20s than I could ever imagine without my husband and my kids. And I am looking forward to being empty nesters at an earlier age and having time and energy to enjoy life with my husband and kids as we all age.
Cool glasses! I rarely comment about anything I see on YT. You do insightful work. This one interested me...a lot. As a man I got tired of being expected to take the first step, so I stopped. I decided that if a woman would take the first step, I would respond. Finally, one took the first step and approached me. She was interesting, former Marine to my Navy and lots in common. I asked her out, but she said she had to go to the pet store that day. Ooof. This was several years ago, no other approacher since, and I've made peace with no relationship.
I got married at 18. I'm 21 now. I had my first baby in 2023. Many people thought I was insane for choosing to marry at 18 because I should just focus on "loving myself" throughout my 20s. I think that mindset is literal selfishness. Sharing my life and family with my husband for 6 years and married for 3 years, I have never been more happy. We actually take accountability for our own personal character instead of victimizing ourselves over petty things, that's how we are still successfully together and growing a family. I see how immature and selfish my generation is since it shows through their lack of healthy relationships. I see 30-year-olds question how they're not married yet or why they don't have kids but these are the same people that never look at themselves to realize the root issue of their life experiences and problems. It's unfortunate how utterly blind people are because life is truly so simple, yet making it complicated is supposedly better for this generation. Everything that is happening in society right now is extremely unnatural.
EXACTLY. I HATE it when they say that your 20s are for discovering yourself bs 💀 you had your teenager years for that right?? I mean maybe ppl are slow or didn’t get the chance but still. It’s so selfish and you are so right. I’m proud of you girlie omg. Im 19 but hopefully I can find someone soon
@@hydrofrolicwildflower3393 you literally have your whole life to discover yourself!! 👏😂 people think you will know who you are by 30 and it’s not even realistic. The same people who tell you to party and “love yourself” throughout your 20s are the same people that will wonder why they’re not married, why they don’t have good friends, or why they don’t have kids by at least 30. Our reproductive system doesn’t last forever. If anything, I’d rather enjoy these 20s in my prime time to have a family! There’s so much meaning in that, but I feel like it’s been lost by our generation. It’s so sad! But girl, I wish you the very best and remember you’re not alone! That person for you is out there. Sending you love! 💕
I'm 21 but my mom got married at 26 and she keeps tells me that people in her life told her she was old when she got married and I sat there shocked and told her mom you were perfect the perfect age to get married
Amala I've really enjoyed your more balanced approach lately. You have the wisdom of advocating for a responsible moral approach to life while backing off from the self righteous harshness of those who don't have it together. It took me years and humbling hardships before I lost the self righteous harshness in my attitude.
When my son was born, I was two years younger than my grandfather was when I was born. My son is 5 now and I wish I had met my wife sooner and started a family sooner. You don't realize what is missing in your life until that piece pops into place and you feel that "wow." I genuinely thought I was too selfish and self absorbed to be a parent or a husband, but I could not have been more wrong. It's like a light going on inside you that has been dark your entire life. The love I have for my wife and boy lifts me up and never lets me down. I live every day now as a better man because I want to be the type of man that my son can proudly look up to and say "that's my dad!" I understand the single or DINK mindset, because that was me. However, I learned that kids are not a burden. Sure, I have given up lots of "me time." I don't get to read as much or do my hobbies as much and I am constantly bombarded with "Daddy look at this!" and I wouldn't change it for all the money in the world. Nothing in the world, and I mean nothing! No pet, no TV show or movie, no night out clubbing. Literally nothing will bring as much sheer, unbridled joy and fulfillment as watching, teaching and nurturing a child. They are part of you and part of your partner, but so uniquely themselves. It's amazing! It's like watching the birth of star or something; you know something amazing is happening and you just can't look away. You will never look back, at the end of the road, and wish you'd spent more time partying and drinking. But I know in my heart I will close my eyes for the final time wishing for one more day with my kid.