Ex-Pickup Artist Reacts To Modern Dating Advice - Neil Strauss
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
- Chris and Neil Strauss discuss the state of modern dating practices. What does Neil Strauss think of the LMS dating trope? What is Neil Struss so most surprised by in the modern dating community? Does Neil Strauss think the next generation is dating wrong?
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Hello you savages. Watch the full episode with Neil here - ua-cam.com/video/W35O0TfnuMw/v-deo.html Get 5 Free Travel Packs, Free Liquid Vitamin D and more from AG1 at drinkag1.com/wisdom
in the description or pinned comment instead of saying watch the whole unedited video here add a url with a timestamp to the exact point at which the edited clip ends. Ive seen a few of your edited clips and they have interested me, but it is always too laborious to have to find the exact point in the unedited video where the conversation left off.
Hell yea Bring Me the Horizon Pray for Plagues. 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘
I read his book "The Game" like 15 years ago and I am glad to see that his thoughts are still deep and sophisticated.
Did you ever read the sequel "The Truth" he talks about how he regrets writing that book.
Do you mean during the intro where he says it because of a mental breakdown? @@vatop1304
Same, always happy to see Style.
That book is why I’m in double digits and married with two kids. Genuinely changed my life.
Why did he regret it? @@vatop1304
I do have to say, for me, my confidence starting as a computer nerd, MASSIVELY increased by four factors, half of which are looks related: gaining 30-40lbs of muscle in a decade, getting an actual haircut, playing drums in a halfdecent band and getting a job matching my intellect (feeling useful and economically secure). 90% of my game is a CONSEQUENCE of the massive confidence gains, because now I'm more confident, it's easier for me to take initiative, experiment and take risks, because I'm not as affraid of failure anymore, because I'm already content with where I'm at in life.
Well done!
awesome for ya
Sounds exhausting.
@@franflan1019 There actually isn't any other reason to do anything. Maybe you need more stamina.
@@GlutenSensitivityReader Maybe you need more imagination. Like imagining other things that give life meaning, instead of relying on another person making you whole.
I mean he is right, but getting your foot in the door is a huge deal. Every guy who lookmaxed knows how women changed their attitude. And dont you dare using the old " They must be more confident now and thats why" - thats insulting and just wrong. There are many scientific studies that show how much looks affect attraction. And by my personal experience - the better you look - the less you must work and less you can offer in other aspects of your personality.
both of them always sugercoat the underlying issue in dating. women now have never been secure and powerful that they become the sole gatekeeper in relationship. hence they only go out looking for a pretty men than a guy who have stable life including the ones who are neurotypical. It is the looks that makes women safe, high status, and happy. "game" and whatever the factor is now almost irrelevant.
I personally know I am an attractive person. But I know I will die someday or get old. So what I do is embrace it but not let it be a defining characteristic/trait. Leaving room for growth in other aspects of my life. So it’s a choice to rely on looks instead of behavior/ growth in aspects of life.
@@DanielCrossBoss You said it yourself - you are attractive person - it doesnt matter if you rely on it or not - you reap the benefits. And you will keep doing it until you have it.
@@Shoegazebasedgenre0.looks are only important up to a certain point.
In terms of what builds attraction:
1. Status
2. Money
3. Looks
That’s the correct order.
@@DanielCrossBoss your not getting it. The "attractiveness" you talk about is everything you stated. Pause.. no Diddy. Growing in other areas of your life is an attraction trigger in women. We have to stop looking at attraction being symmetrical between the sexes. What we find attractive is not what they find attractive. It's asymmetric. Physical attraction definitely helps. But it's the other aspects that create arousal and seal the deal. And to retain a wamen, it's another ball game in long term attraction.
Neil Strauss nails it 100% on every level. It probably doesn't sell like all the other nonsense out there, but his advice is that simple and that true. So refreshing to hear. Key point, people generally look for what underpins the LMS, not necessarily the LMS.
@@AndreAngelantoni Except the animal world doesn't have protection and provisions given away for free - 911/police/military/firefighters/EMS & Welfare State. The only thing that remains is feelings. Focus on feelings.
LMS is still a heuristic of what a women THINKS will give her feelings. It is not even that she is looking for protection. She has emergency services for free on standby. The Metafactor is feelings. Focus on creating and capturing her feelings and nothing else matters.
@@AndreAngelantoni Not true. If it were then fraud-maxing wouldn't be possible.
@@hijackhypergamyand how do you do that
@@hijackhypergamyhow
I got a lot of women in my prime and I promise you, social media changed everything. Us trying to give these young men out here dating advice based on what worked for us is like us telling you you should have invested in blackrock when you were 6. You were aged out of any type of normal success. Improvise, adapt and overcome.
Game worked and still works the same way. Nothing changed in that regard
It depends on the social media. For sure the visual social medias, like Instagram and Tinder rely heavily on what Neil in this video said was, "getting your foot in the door." However, for text-based social medias, like X, Reddit, and Discord, the, "foot in the door," is how you write. No matter the media though, once you have your, "foot in the door," I think Neil's stances and advice holds.
Can still meet women in the real world
@@McTrump For sure. I have one. I’m telling you you’re all paying hoeflation.
@@marcm83 met mine irl. I have an amazing gf thanks
Social media completely changed dating.
How has it changed it ?
@@hidden1865it was so much better before Facebook was invented. Cold approach. Hello face to face , with good results.
it changed women's perceptions of the world and THAT changed mens perceptions of women but on the ground a man will still impress a woman as long as she isn't too broken by the social media.
But social media hasn't changed dating its changed women and that's an important distinction to note.
It changed women and women changed men.
*And* 24/7 internet access via smart phones. It wouldn't have the same impact if the only access was after work, via a PC.
@@hidden1865 the fact you said that, speaks volumes the size of the titanic in how little you know before before facebook existed.
I remember reading his book The Game back in 2008. It wasn't really PUA advice, more of a collection of stories (similar to I hope They Serve Beer in Hell). Pretty good read overall.
I have never laughed so much as when I read "I hope they serve beer in hell" I was 18 so maybe my humor had changed but was such a funny book.
Was traveling at the time and kept breaking down in public coffee shops😅
same
Mad respect for connecting these two books.
Also Tucker Max wrote a review of The Game that is worth reading.
Neil really shows why he is a master pickup artist. Perceptive comments and able to get to what really is under the surface.
But its not heping young men to actually seek a family or connection. if the cultrure is indoctroínating people.
siimilar to fashion industry wherre the models had to have certain slim body and height so they suffered from the anorexia. etc.
@@alenaadamkova7617 Can you elaborate?
@@alenaadamkova7617 You're putting the cart before the horse.
Men need the skills to have numerous hook-ups first. Then, they find a woman of value to connect with on a soul level.
You've got it backwards.
he got nothing, these PUA scammers are just that.. scammers... and faking status even if worked initially would be exposed hence why most these grifters got next to know decent relationships
@@James_36 Again, your focusing on the wrong thing. Focus on improving yourself and making yourself better - measurably and undeniably. A better you will attract a better mate. Once you have improved yourself, the lifestyle will appear. It is hard. I went through it. I was brave approaching women everywhere and I was broke, but I still did well. I do believe in his teachings. Don't rely on props. Focus on yourself. Those skills you develop are inextricable and everlasting
Yup, most of game is simply a matter of YOU VS YOU. I've seen taller guys than me psyche themselves out or overthink things or struggle with crippling approach anxiety. I just don't care and go for it. It's a numbers game, like sales. It's all your mental attitude. Of course, being 6'2 (or taller) and handsome won't hurt, but it's all a matter of playing the hand you're dealt in life and optimizing whatever you can given your circumstances, and being able to quickly adjust and read the room and read how she reacts to you (or doesn't react).
Body game + mouthpiece + grooming + personal style = master player with a body count of over 3 digits.
Social media has changed dating. 19 year old dating millionaires. Regular men and healthy women are so buried under the chaos
Women have always been material creatures, a young and very beautiful woman will look to get a rich man to secure her life. Of course, not all women are like that, but there are few.
@@nenkobaylov2470but they never has such easy access to rich guys or athletes
If you aren't going to put in any effort, then just say in your lane. Don't go after a dime if you're a nickel.
No.
They failed to adapted and they stopped learning.
😂😂😂
@@thaneros I would argue - go after the dime even if you are nickel. You never know.
While LMS undoubtedly play a role in initial attraction, overemphasising these factors can lead to shallow relationships and personal dissatisfaction. Fostering self-awareness, authenticity, and an internal locus of control offers a more holistic and fulfilling relationship approach.
If you are deficit in all three, then you are pretty much invisible. Whilst shallow, they are prerequisites. It’s just the way it is and all the data proves it.
The reason the LMS paradigm is asinine is because 2/3 of it can’t be detected by the woman until months after you’ve met. Unless you’ve dated for months, she has absolutely no idea how much money you make or how high your status is
@@Frederick0220 that’s not entirely true. People with money and status nearly always have indicators that are fairly visible. Their body language, the clothes they choose, and the way they interact with people. The problem with wealth and status is that they aren’t attracted to you; they’re attracted to your wealth and status. That’s even true for looks. You could have the worlds best genetics, but if you survive a bad fire, no women will be attracted to you. 99% of attraction is superficial.
@@peripheralparadox4218I agree. Also, women are Getting more and more skilled at picking up clues when it comes to status. There are also more and more fakes. Posers. Flexing fake wealth
@@peripheralparadox4218 and yet they mean nothing in the long haul. His point stands.
All the lms stuff would probably help but ive got 2 friends who have none of that but have no issues with getting women they like. They are both short asf too. Maybe 5"5 each. But they just have no fear when we go out and the women respond positively each time. Whereas my doubtful ass cant get a match yet alone a number.. Seriously, Doubt is the killer and women can sniff it from a mile away..
Being bold is necessary.
Its like almost the only thing that matters
@ethansleeper6952 Necessary but not sufficient.
Boldness will get your foot in the door, but need to bring charm/charisma with you. Looks will provide more or less margin for error.
And boldness needs to be coupled with resilience because every guy will get rejected at some point.
Well yes, doubt is literally the opposite of confidence.
And confidence has always been a known essential.
Confidence & Competence.
As a 22 year old 5’8 guy, I am a 7 out of 10 at best and babyfaced and I can’t grow facial hair to save my life. I do have a jawline and fit not buff. For me working out consistently, dressing well, and working on my goals builds my confidence. Once you have the confidence you can attract the women you want. Today I was outside for a doctors appointment and there a receptionist was clearly attracted to me but my mom was next to me and I didn’t feel comfortable approaching in front of my mom but the woman wrote her name on the card of my next appointment. A woman who wants you will also make effort on her end when necessary. I am planning on talking to her next week. Even to burn time with my mom I went to the target downstairs and women were looking at me. If you are a good dude just improve on your looks to get you through the door. It is easier to be a good dude first and then work on yourself next. Don’t worry man your time will come just live life and the right ones come when you enter that stage of life. You just simply aren’t there yet. Keep your head up! 👍🏻
Very cool to hear Neil talking about this subject. Would love to hear more perspectives he has, even if it’s changed over time.
Social media changed everything, the game has changed.
It has, now guys have to level up their social media game, take good pics, etc, because they're no longer just competing in a local market for local women, but even beautiful women women are now being hit on from dudes all over the world including celebs and blue checkmark accounts on IG.
no it didnt, it was always about looks. Its just nature, looks = genetics = attraction
How much time ?
@@johannsebastianbach3411 great reply
Naaahhh, the game is the same as it always was, just with better technology and more info, women were, are and will be picky no matter the time, breaking their multiple barriers is how you get access to their mind, heart and body...
He looks like the kind of guy that would drive a convertible Mazda Miata
It’s a really fun car if you like driving.
@@demitrimoss5515 ya, i understand the cliche of which type of man likes to drive it... but they look like so much fun!
'Not that there's anything wrong with that.'
@@AvocadoAtrocity
Even in the boot.
Oddly enough I saw a vid on that yesterday, lol.
'I fit inside a Miata trunk'
They’re fun but uncomfortably small
I just don't care anymore. I've put time and effort into it for 20 years with no results. I'm only bitter with myself I don't hate people for it I'm just tired and don't care anymore.
It’s ok to fail. Some fail and others succeed. You choose the first which allows us to choose the second.
@@MasterMalrubius Be nice. Some people legitimately struggle and some legitimately, just because of how numbers and life works, may never have the opportunity. We don't know his situation.
Shift your focus towards things you can be good at, play to your strengths in life. VVomen most of the time don't even improve your life.
Did you really put effort or you just read about it and watched videos?
What was the outcome you were looking for ? And what sort of effort have you put into it ?
Chris hit the nail on the head there. I am socially awkward. I read The Game, applied it...and was utterly disgusted by how well it worked. Haven't been motivated all that much with dating ever since.
Yeah, for me it shows up as humility being punished and bravado being rewarded, I can put on bravado in a way that appeals to many women, but I find it sort of disgusting and I admire myself and others more when I display humility. But I got laid like crazy when I did the opposite
@@csadams404 Humility isn't being punished, you're just not leading with that aspect of yourself when you're out focused on meeting and attracting women. When you show the trait of humility later on, she will find it attractive as part of the total package.
If that's been your experience, great, but in my experience women fall in love with the mask. When you take it off, they despise you for deceiving them and it can break their heart.
I think you guys are just attracted to the wrong kind of women. If the right amount of humility is a turnoff for someone that is a huge red flag, why would you ever want a longterm relationship with someone like that?
Meh, in my experience looks are absolutely godlike and my behaviour matters next to 0.
I would consider myself very successful with women and Chris is definitely right. The more successful you are in dating and being able to pick up women, the more you really see the personality traits that are attractive to them. Most of the time, it doesnt align with being a nice, decent person. I definitely didnt feel like I was being true to myself. It literally felt like playing a strategy game and the more you win, the less you want the reward.
So which traits are attractive to women?
So which traits are attractive to women?
I think you got it wrong. Its the reward that is very miniscule. Thats the problem. Saying as someone who went through it as well.
For those asking about the traits attractive to women is pretty simple: Unshakable confindence in yourself and your ability to get tons of women whenever you want, even if some flake or reject you, it won't matter because deep down you know others will gladly take their place in no time, that's all...
Agreed af yo! the more you get women the less you want them, jts about finding the right one and when you dont? man it sucks
Neil Strauss is a realist, and clearly believes in taking personal responsibility for the outcomes of one's actions. When used correctly, The Game was simply a collection of useful behavioural tools and strategies aimed at men who were experiencing disappointing outcomes when it came to meeting and dating women, as well as an invitation to question the received wisdom many men had unconsciously incorporated into their own mindsets. Good interview, Chris!
you mean manipulation?
I like how he turned out, definitely my favorite pua.
Neil's book changed my life....showed me how much going down that path wasn't for me. Was very well done and highly entertaining but came out at the time in my life where I was earning real money and had to either wife up or slut up. I hope my wife is happy with my choice...I am.
Good for you, I waited for my virgin damsel but she never appeared, so being a ruthless player was my only option...
For younger guys, the best option is actually confidence, sense of humour and popularity. That’s who gets the girls.
Most young guys don’t have any real money or status - they’re too young. The highest status men are middle aged and married. And looks is a relatively nebulous concept - women go for all kinds of aesthetics.
Ideally, you want to be the guy that everyone is happy to see at the party or club, who can make them all laugh and relax.
Neil Strauss is talking about a period which is 20 - 25 years ago, which is like an eon in modern standards. World has changed unimaginably compared to late 1990s & early 2000s. Most of the things which worked those days have no relevance to now. Growth of internet, social media, smart phones, apps, digital economy, changes in human ideologies & behaviors etc. have changed the dating game by big time.
His methods can be applied in the modern day though, just in different forms. Now there's a game to texting, dating apps, social media, and I think there's still an in person type of game as well. At least, that's what I've heard.
You are correct. Although it saddens me to accept the truth. I'm 47. I was on fire 25 years ago. Too many women. My younger years were great. It's a whole different world in 2024 with the internet
Wrong. Rules of the game book still works today, because I'm literally on day 7.
Human biology has remained constant for thousands of years. Once you’re face to face, it’s the same urges and selection strategies from the Paleolithic.
@user-ef2ix7nt3e, I’m 45. I don’t bother with apps. I just approach in person. Fewer and fewer men are doing it, so it works. Younger men especially don’t understand how to approach and spit game.
wow... Style.... been hell of a while.... good to see u again.
Still to this day
Neil. Respect
F in legend! Both Neil and Mystery changed my life.
Just work to better yourself and youll be just fine. Everyday just get a little bit better than yesterday.
Looks, money, status are attributes that maybe successful for short-term "dating," but aren't reliable assets for long-term mating/relationships. Personal attributes like self awareness, integrity, accountability, reciprocity, empathy and humility are more important to maintain a relationship. Without them, you can allure and seduce women, but you can't keep her unless she has low self-esteem and puts up with a man who is self-centered, irresponsible, entitled, arrogant, devaluing, abusive and neglectful just because he's got the LMS and is +6 foot tall.
I was thinking the same thing. I went to the Christian Church to find a woman wearing a long white dress. The Church was good. Didn't find the woman though, had one false alarm. My unicorn
That's right. People value the wrong things so, most likely never going to change.
the cope never ends
@@Shoegazebasedgenre0. To live is to cope, otherwise you'll ropemaxx instantly...
I was a guy who had to learn PU game to have any sucess with women. I saw that big gap between who I really was and what a PU artist was and didn’t feel comfortable with some of tactics and attitudes. Then I started reading female dating strategy, which completely destroyed the pedestal I had put women on. From there it was easy to adopt PU game tactics.
Thank you for this. I read FDS as well and it is mandatory for young men, I'd say!
Why weren't your comfortable with them?
Any recommended books?
@JulianSirian Unfortunately, no. It was a long time ago. You need to know the 2 ladder dating strategy. You need to take women off the pedestal. You need to treat women sexually up front so you don't get friend zoned. PUA has basically turned into red pill. One good trick that I apply to negotiating that works well with women too, is you have to say stuff that makes you cringe a little inside.
Mode One by Alan Roger Currie. The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. The Manipulated Man by Esther Villar. The Game by Neil Strauss as quoted above. That's a great start.
Holy smokes, I am SOO interested in what this guy has to say about the dating game.
Genetics are a form of wealth in men.
Robust health is a form of wealth for humans.
@@maam-yj8phwhich is highly dependent on genetics.
Same for women. Even more.
@@preciouslarochelle8487 almost every woman will have a child. Not every man will.
I mean, that's true of women, too...
There are those that prop up their status with the way they show themselves, but don't have the first clue as to be an attractive person. People want a good time.
I am a woman, but from what I know about men it is actually: family, feeling of acomplishment, good supportive lifelong frienships.
You have correctly labeled all but the psychopaths.
Not in the club......in that environment looks are king, FACTS
@@Barbarian646 I am a married woman with two kids. I have zero club experience, so I will trust you on this one :D
@tonyshine89 yup. I spent over 10 years working in bars etc as a bouncer
As in those things are the most attractive traits in men as seen by women? And 'feeling of accomplishment' means them being happy with themselves, or accomplished from the perspective of others?
So good to see him
I like this guys transparency. And I agree, you will often see what you are looking for
There is an "Employer/Employee" dynamic thats developed between men and women. A lot of women will slot into dynamic in a silent and covert way. I'll give you an example............I got talking to this girl one time and all was going well and then I decided to carry out a little social experiment. She made some sort of dumb comment or made a bad joke or something like that and I laughed and said to her "Dont worry about it, I'll give you another chance", and I made it clear I was very much joking.
Well what happened next was an eye opener...........She changed completely, became serious and hissed at me "I'll be the one giving the chances around here, ok?"
This was the red flag and I left her to it, having nothing more to do with her. What she showed me in that moment was that she felt like she was in charge, that she was the "Employer" and I was the "Employee" who was required to jump through hoops and chase after her. I had reversed the paradigm and she was furious, offended even. That I would dare place her in the position that she thought men should be, i.e. a position beneath her. And shes not alone, so many women think like this, they've been raised by their mothers and aunts to think like this. So I think men need to be aware of this dynamic and not go along with it because even if you "Get the girl" for the moment, trust me, she will never stop making you jump through hoops and being a dancing monkey. Every man must overcome his own lust, this is what hands women power in the dynamic. Men are hungry for sex and will allow themselves to be manipulated by women because they know men are weak in this way. If you overcome this and get to the point where you are happy without sex(and you absolutely can get there) then watch what happens to that dynamic. Its an underlying shift that takes place and women will sense that they have no power over you. Some will become belligerent and try to passive aggressively attack you, bring you down, most wont be able to figure you out because they're so used to being in the "Employer" seat, it'll confuse them greatly.
Dude I am sure she was just offended because you were insulting what she said. It doesn’t matter if you tried to say it jokingly, it was still an unkind comment. And you saying I’ll give you another chance sounds condescending. She only said it back because you said it first. At most she may have been a bit over sensitive - it depends on the details. Can’t believe you made all that conclusion up because after you insulted her she got upset LOL!
OR she clocked immediately that you were trying to establish dominance and got her back up because she wasn’t interested in you after that. Women aren’t stupid and they talk amongst themselves.
Understanding social dynamics and recognizing people trying to exploit them for personal gain isn’t such a
high bar.
@Uncle_MC huh? Where in my comment did I say I was trying to establish dominance? Or where did I say I was trying to use her for personal gain? I think you've jumped to some random conclusions there my friend
dude.. i dont know what kind of analogy you went off on there but weman understand sarsacm much more as a hostile act then man who understand it as humorous.. thats one difference that keeps poping up in social research so please, keep it under your hat.
Great read. And great way to suss out her programming.
Chris is wearing a BMTH shirt?! Respect...
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO SAY!!!
Looks from that warped tour era too 🤘🏼
_Gigachad theme song intensifies_
There are actually 4: Looks, Money, Status, and Charisma (I’ll including personality, social awareness, under Charisma). LMSC. …. No matter how many or what combination the first three you have, the universal constant you MUST have is charisma… people skills: knowing how to read people, setting boundaries, knowing when they actually like you , when you being taken advantage of etc etc …. if your missing PEOPLE SKILLS you can have any combination of LMS you want , it won’t matter in the long run
I agree and disagree. You don’t need to have it but it for sure is the higher value long term.
I depends on the situation of course.
Then charisma of course is what often help you get money and status. And looks to some part.
I would like to separate those four.
Looks and charisma is YOU. and you can work on both to be better looking and more charismatic.
And that takes time or money or both. And improving with time in general is more solid ( work out vs lipo suck) then both feed to each other.
Then you have things you have. Money and status. Which also takes time and they interfered. Like status don’t give you ñooos but it can give you money. And money can buy status but even if you loose status and Money you still have your loood and charisma.
@@litjellyfish very good assessment. And yeah, "people skills" is such a broad term that I had to condense it for a YT comment section. Its worth noting, im coming from the angle of what the other manosphere communties are: black pill - looks is most important, MSP ,not important. Red pill - having LMS is most important , People skills arent as important (sweep it under the rug until your rich sort of thing. )PUA/Blue guys - People skills/Charisma is all you need, LMS takes a back burner. But having some combination of LMS is undoubtelty critical. Ive hung out with weird PUA guys that think they can get the hottest women dressing poorly, little money, and just a mouth piece. Some *only* rely on good looks. Sure yes maybe for the short term flings, but they wont KEEP a high quality woman around and they wouldnt know one if they came across her. Obviously, i WAY over generalizing (trying to keep this short) but if i could tell young men some advice its that people skills, your ability to network and having relationship experience will aid you in avoiding the pitfalls of the other 3: having good looks (people see u different), a lot of money (thr are people that always try and take it), and high status (some people will use you for it).
@@1928zxcv agree so much. I was really late sexually. Started late 20s and ironically started to go out when I was low point money. Of course o as a bum managed to learn to pull hot 20s girls. But why. Well I looked ok and was charming and put in the roll of elder artsy passionate guy (that acifally was pretty close to who I am inside luckily)
Could I as easy get interest of girls in 30s even not as hot. Nope that was a different thing as my overall value was zero in other areas.
So if. I get you correct a balance is good if you want a balanced girl? If so I agree. Then one thing people talk not so much an about anymore is rapport. And with that I mean shared interest. Friend circle etc. it’s huge imo.
And that is often the reason people later splits “we grew apart” as those values is not there anymore
@@1928zxcv also what you say is soo important not just for girl but for all areas in life. Which paradoxaly often puts you in a situations where you “for free” attract SM and thorough they girls. Also I think it’s important to not see one’s value just in how much girls are attracted to one
Maximising your looks, money and status can surely improve your life on multiple fronts and there is nothing wrong with working on those issues. But its also important that you work on your mental and spiritual side, because in the end we all just want to be loved, admired and taken care of, and we actually need to love, admire and take care of others.
I am so happy Neil evolved so much. I was around 18 when his book came out and I listened to a lot of podcasts and talks by him. I am so glad that his philosophy evolved so so much and he says the same conclusions out loud that my mind has reached now
His book rules of the game actually changed my life. I was an under confident nerd with 0 self love and the book took me through a series of self improvement steps that really helped me out. I didn't really get into the whole PUA thing as I found the increased confidence in myself was enough to help me get girls and just be happy.
Safety is really what it is about for reasonable, not crazy women. It only took me sixteen years of gradually destroying a marriage, and another sixteen of contemplation plus watching tons of others in their relationships to figure that out. About crazy wimins, why any man bothers with them, I don't know.
Styles is Awesome! Sooner or later people will go back to picking up and meeting in person. I don't do stupid online dating. Its the same as submitting your resume to an Employer with ridiculous and unrealistic expectations.
You'll be picking up only older women aged 35+ since most young women have anxiety disorders and panic attacks whenever somebody tries to talk to them publicly...
Perfect video. Excellent. Thank you.
NGL that shirt is DOPE Chris! Always glad to see a fellow metal enjoyer.
Not saying they're classified strictly as metal, but when I heard he was a massive Sleep Token fan as well, I knew he was 100% a bro. BMTH was my favorite band for the better part of 5-6 years and were ultimately dethroned by Sleep Token in 2021 and I haven't been able to put them down since.
All that goes to say.. Excellence in all realms.
I just can't think of them other than being the gigachad theme song band, they've become a meme band...
Oh man, Neil Strauss- The Game changed my life completely
The must have is dominance. The good to have is looks. Then social status determines the circles you can move in. Note: women push to enter the highest status social circles they have access to and then screen the men in it. The screen for looks / superficial attributes first, then for the sole trait they are actually attracted to which is dominance.
I’m GenX, it was relatively easy since women were told being promiscuous was empowering but they still weren’t likely to use regret assault charges on a guy. As a 6 at my very best I still lucked out and got an 8.5 once in awhile just because personality had much more of an effect back then. Now a guy looking like me wouldn’t get a swipe, and forget approaching in public. Guys who aren’t attractive, even if they are rich, simply have a harder time in the U.S.
Neil Strauss and Mistery good times 🔥, I read the books
4:53 being high value is a multipler. it makes it easier to seduce. makes it easier to trigger the emotions. But if (1) you don't try to seduce or (2) don't k ow how to seduce, then, you'll just end up as the girl's High Value Male friend
Doing pick up in the early 2010's was 🔥
Im so happy to see the OG back in the game 😀😀😀😀😀😀
The problem with LMS is that any woman it attracted by the L and the M is immediately disqualified.
The reason the LMS paradigm is asinine is because 2/3 of it can’t be detected by the woman until months after you’ve met. Unless you’ve dated for months, she has absolutely no idea how much money you make or how high your status is
Oh it’s most definitely looks. My best friend looks like Ken. The amount of women I’ve seen throw themselves at him is mind boggling. It happens so much he’s unfazed by it. A ten of a stripper came off the stage and slipped him her number. They didn’t know if he had money nor did they care
Who’s Ken?
@@grrinc Ken-touch deez nutz, bro.
It's not. If you are a simp then looks are not going to help you.
@@Raumance Its not possible to be a simp if you have 10 looks.
@@moviesynopsis001 It absolutely is and it's very common. If you have biceps and and are ripped but you are a simp it's over when you open your mouth. Looks aren't everything to a man.
This is the standard cope. It doesn't work like this. Personality is the more difficult part. Social skills. Success. It's far easier to get swole than to fix those thing. And it's a very common scenario to see.
Anything that has happened to me with women is completely my fault whether it was good or bad. I think one of the beautiful things about being a man is that you can move things in the direction you want if you know how. We have complete accountability for how women react to us. There's this quote from flcl I always loved. "Nothing will happen until you swing the bat."
This is true. Women as the feminine, passive energy (using broad terms here, of course) are constantly reacting to our masculine energy and where we choose to direct ourselves as men
Look this guy knows what he is talking about BUT i think he is not aware how much things changed in post Social Media era. It was completely different playing field in 90s- 2000s
it wasnt, PUA was a scam, I met up with some dudes applying it, met someone in the know that has all these guys backgrounds they didnt get nothing.. they got plenty of false phone numbers
@@James_36 think about it, these guys at least approached the girls and did numbers thing. If 1 in 20 girl wanted something more it's a success in their book.
I know a lot of short guys that pull hot women. If you have a nice face, a nice body and have some money, if you're short you can pull hot women.
The perception of someone taking care of themselves and being capable is what is required to attract someone male or female.
8:54 That can on the right has an “eye” logo... interesting...
Thanks for sharing, I shared the same feelings as you did. But I realized I should not focus on it and try to be in the moment instead of entertaining feelings like this.
How you should handle it is BE ALIVE the same way you always was.. You are you! Being 51 doesn't matter.. LIVE TO THE BEST OF YOUR CURRENT ABILITY.
BE I THE MOMENT. READ BOOKS THIS YEAR! HAVE GOALS AND FORGET THESE QUESTIONS.
DON'T TRUST EVERYTHING YOUR BRAIN TELLS YOU. LEARN TO LET THINGS GO.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
This guy is a lengend, he got me into NLP and changed my life
I wouldn't have recognised Neil Straus' face unless he spoke 😂
I thought he said LUX but he said looks. I thought it was about some new term with a really deep meaning since it's connected to light :)
💯%
You get what you ARE, not what you WANT:
What you frequently see = your frequency.
Start embodying the vibes of what you desire as if you already have it,
and-according to scripture-you MUST receive it.
I bought the book when it came out. I projected a fake mick jagger like persona. It worked for my promiscuous behaviour. For long term relationships it didn't.
Basically what he is saying is that the most important thing is that you have to be able to make a great first impression. After that, you really need to be on point with your fitness, finances, personal grooming and style and social skills. Even he would not survive on the dating apps these days because of his height, but he's got enough skills and experience to go out in a public place, play the numbers and find a date.
Neil Strauss is still the OG when it comes to PUA. Throwback to the good times!
Neil was one who put everything into a book. But the courses and building of the community was started by David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating. But everything Neil and David taught back then still holds true today.
@@graydadgear so funny, cus David D settled for all his SKILLS in dating and success with improving his wealth married and got with someone not even attractive LOL. it was a total scam
Love Neil Strauss! Love the game! Thank you for educating men how to be more successful with women 🙌🏼
You’ve got to be kidding.
I literally dated a rams cheerleader in college. I also got to hang out with guys that drove porsches and one told me he was insecure that is why he had a porsche.
"literally dated"? What does that mean?
I’m old; my advice is old school. Focus on developing good friendships with women first. It will not add any pressure on you. From there, you have a network to help you with dating.
The biggest problem with everyone, men and women, is that they think generically about the opposite sex. They say, “What do I do to attract a woman/man?” This question is an implicit admission that you don’t want intimacy and a relationship, you want anyone who is vaguely attractive. The question you should be asking is, “What traits do I find optimal in a lifetime relationship?” This question demands that you understand what you’re looking for and why. It also places you in a position of confidence because you’re not trying to get just any superficially attractive woman to like you, arbitrarily. Instead, it puts you in an active mode, asking questions and trying to understand the other person in order to find out if she’s the type of woman you could have that deep bond with. Same is true of women.
If you’re preoccupied with getting any man or woman with superficially attractive characteristics to like you, you’re literally ignoring all the things you actually want. I never felt bad about girls not wanting me because my criterion usually selected them out before they’d spoken more than a sentence.
If you abandon what you actually want long term, you won’t know who you are, won’t know who you’re looking for, and you’ll be crushed when women who have nothing but looks aren’t interested. It’s really not complicated. Stop trying to “attract a woman/man.” People aren’t generic, interchangeable commodities. If you expect them to be, you’re ignoring the specifics of your OWN purpose: you’re pursuing a generic commodity because that is what YOU are. A woman isn’t attractive just because she’s pretty. But if that’s the shallow depth you’re capable of, YOU are a generic, interchangeable commodity, and the only difference between you and another person is what’s in the mirror. NOBODY is interested in what’s in the mirror for more than a week.
Have the courage to define the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with…and instead of trying to attract random women, make yourself worthy of that wholesome ideal AND REJECT EVERY LAST WOMAN WHO IS INCAPABLE OF THAT WHOLESOME LIFE.
But if your goal is to “attract a man/woman,” you’re a boring, empty, soulless individual. Sorry, but it’s true. And that’s why nobody is interested. If you’re a man whose goal is to “attract women,” then you’re identical to a trashy ho who dresses like a ho to “attract men.” You’re indiscriminate…and therefore generic and soulless.
Pursue your purpose and your ideal lifetime companion, and reject everything that doesn’t fit. If you grow toward your purpose, eventually a woman who is growing toward her purpose is going to run into you…and you’ll both feel a familiarity with each other. That familiarity…is shared, developed values.
no it's looks looks looks. status and money matters if you are lucky.
Great guest. I remember reading the Game back in about 2010.
Be confident.
Neil Strauss wrote the book on this. I’d say whatever this guy says kinda goes. He had great success.
Also, Chriss operates from the false assumption that everyone is faking it. Self-development is not about faking anything. This is what is entirely misunderstood about the red pill - nobody aims at faking anything, they are in for the real deal. What Neil Strauss is missing is the evolution from PUA to self-development and self-improvement.
Neil needs religion. He's an addict.
You could also invite Owen Cook. He is way a better person to talk about this topic.
Fax
Is he still living in the US on an expired VISA? Last I heard, he wouldn’t leave the US because he wouldn’t be able to get back in.
@@brawndothethirstmutilator9848 these are the illegals trump warned us about.
Not trying to offend you or anything, but definitely not. That guy is a scammer with zero game.
2:51.. didn’t Neil literally just confirm that money looks in status matters. It gets you in the door.
.. most guys cant get in the door because they don’t have enough looks (aesthetic, physique)
getting in the door is a big deal . If you have good, looks money status. You are allowed to make more mistakes and learn from them.
Money, muscles, and game
I thought there were two key comments: 1) LMS will get you in the door, buy one's personality is what keeps the door open; and 2) Chris' comment about men needing to create a persona to attract w0men .. and if the men wanted to maintain that persona, vis a vis what their *actual* persona was, and for how long / is it worth it.
It’s just like sales. You don’t have to be a gigachad to get with the 10s. You’re just gonna have to go through more steps, deal with more gatekeepers, and face higher competition which LMS obviously help with.
Those dimes always require you to level up your game in all areas for them to be available to you...
5:40 if money is inherited, to what degree does it then reflect competence? And what about low wage jobs? I don't think the relationship between money and other attributes is that clear.
He's only 5'6"? Most women say they won't date a man under 6' so GAME has to be the most important thing to have.
Things were different back then, height fetishizing has taken off in recent years.
this guy got nothing, I literally have it on good authority.. mystery could not close the deal either just got phone numbers
My problem with the PUA stuff is mainly that I don’t want to have to play head games to interest someone or keep them interested.
It's been years since I read his book but he talks about this exact thing in it. "Inner game" as they said in the PUA community. Guys would start with all these lines and tricks that they'd use to meet women, but ultimately they'd realize that they need to sort themselves out if they want to keep anyone. Becoming naturally attractive is the ultimate goal.
Wait Chris is a bring me the horizon fan?? I like this guy even more now
You got to be authentic. If you’re trying to be someone you’re not, you may fool some people some of the time, but not all people all the time. Most importantly, you know you’re fooling yourself.
If you want something long term then yes, if you want ONS/FWB/Situationships then a mask is needed...
The game really helped me to get chicks and when my now wife appeared in my life I knew exactly what to do
The problem is Neil Strauss never acknowledges that he did, in fact, have a lot going for him that the average guy does not, such as wide access to celebrities.
@@andremotivation6561 yes but Neil Strauss made it seem like he was this ordinary loser nerd that was so terrible with women that he had no shot and then learning mystery method did a complete 180. The truth however is Neil had access to so many resources and connections, largely because of his job as a writer for The Rolling Stone. Hell, even before The Game, he wrote autobiographies for Marilyn Manson and Jenna Jameson. If he was just your average nobody from a suburb in Mississippi, I don’t think he would have close to the amount of success that he did. Now you can definitely work up to that level but it’s definitely not nearly as easy as Neil made it seem.
@@citizenofcorona8783 he still got nothing, just about says it all
LSM order, with personality and lifestyle being on par with L
Its a challenge of signifiers and obtaining the signifieds to these 'status' signifiers. The minor issue is, women are born to deconstruct phallogocentric language because its not a feminine language. But women have observed over time, what man values, money, looks, and status, because these signifiers signal security in calories, pleasure and social standing. But its all an illusion.
I would aim “game” to that list. Can’t just have looks, money, status if you’re awkward, strange, or creepy.
"Looks" (face, body, height, strength, voice, penis, etc) is a former of "money" and "status" in and of itself.
looks is a form of money? Didi you stop to think about this statement for even a second before pressing enter?
@@rayaqin Most CEOs are over 6', being good looking means you're seen as more intelligent, more competent, have an easier time in interviews etc.
"Ex pick up artist" is such a hilarious way to describe someone
this guy knows what's up. I had no money or status. I'm talking NONE. Lived with my mother at age 30 level status. I used it to my advantage and made that into a positive, though. My mother couldn't walk without assistance - a walker, etc. She didn't need a full time nurse, but if I didn't live there I would have had to pop in at least once or twice a week. So girls i was dating would see me escorting my mom with her rollator taking 3-4 minutes to walk a city block that takes everyone else 1 minute and I wasn't a poor loser who lived with his mom. I was a saint who treats women like gold and would do anything for them.
To get to the point that they'd meet my mom after we had been dating at least a month or so I did plenty well with women because I exhibited the kinds of high status behavior he mentioned. I didn't give a FCK what people thought of me. I was funny and interesting without being a bullshit artist, namedropper. That's someone trying desperately to claim status and it'll only work on women lame enough to be going after the same superficialities.
4:11 Neil is the first person I’ve heard in eons who has said ‘I THINK that…’ instead of ‘I feel like …’
One of my favourite authors.
I own a copy. Somewhere in my home. The Game. From many years ago. I'd probably find it to be comedy if I read it today.
The living legend himself. Amazing that the prodigal son has returned.
Chris is into BMTH, awesome!!
Looks make everything easier. The game used to work. I don't know if it does anymore. I'm too old to do that stuff without feeling cringe
Bring Me the Horizon! Love the shirt Chris.
The look is an extreme game changer ... I mean the whole look, not just the face alone. A big, perfect body and a beautiful face completely change the game. It's not just a foot in the door. Sure, if you're a complete wimp, it doesn't count anymore, but if you have normal self-confidence and behaviour, that's more than enough. Why do I know this, you ask? I can compare my achievements to those of a previous friend who had these traits.... I'm short, average looking, but had to learn daygame to get a woman. He wasn't even able to open a girl because he was shy, and I had to open 1000 sets.... we ended up getting the same number of women, but he only got average to beautiful women (because of his standards) and I had to take also women not so good looking to good looking to keep up with him. He, however, had to do almost nothing... just talk to them when it was really easy and I had to become confident.... (btw...the more confident I got in the daygame, the harder it gets that girl want to speak with you...maybe it's too much for them if you get super confident or they know that you are a player). But yeah... looks is not everything... you can get hotter and younger girls with game. but on the other hand if you are ugly (sorry to say it so harsh but I like to speak the truth), it will get harder. Everything else said by gurus is marketing. But if you groom yourself and dress good, train a bit in the gym/do sports you can do a lot to your favour (a six can get a seven or eight) and for shure this works also the other way round.