👌More videos can be found on this topic at: ua-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswjSvwE8zV5YPISXOHgkH5I5.html&si=0YM6L9M7iZoG8d9K ❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com 👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
I find staying social with people helps my anxiety attending church services helps I attend w writing class once a week I hang out with a friend I do art class martial arts just staying social helps with depression even exercise does make a difference
Well, anxiety grows if someone spends too much time alone mostly inside their own head. Humans are designed to seek danger, so it's our brain and evolution playing nasty tricks on us really. Other people provide as a mirror, show us with their lives that everyone has some struggles but different one. And staying busy simply leaves us less time to think about danger, so surely helps as well. Plus of course sports and being active makes us release "happines hormones", so it's good too. Keep up what you're doing. I do hope it will help you.
I really love your presentations on attachment. It's uncanny how spot what you say here is almost identical to my life. It's like you sawed my brain open and jumped inside
You are absolutely true. It is turning around so many beliefs I had that were wrong and it is causing me to grieve what I did not get as very sad and also makes me so aware if what was missing as something that can be fixed and not something wrong with me. It is very, very SELF-EMPOWERING. I guess I did deserve love after all and that I did not get it was not about me not being perfect.
This is making me cry. I provided this but never received attachment. I was not even allowed to ask for it as a component of fairness. People stayed only when I met their needs. When I stopped, I was dropped like a hot potato. 🥔 Lately I have abandoned them and I can only imagine that their karma will come and they will feel the way I feel.
I am sorry this happened to you, Kitty. As always, I am grateful for you being here, watching videos and supporting the channel. What did you find most useful from this video? Videos on building secure attachment can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
You’re so welcome, Ana! I appreciate you watching the video. Videos on trauma bond can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=bond Videos on trauma can be found at: I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it? Other videos that might help can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
Informative, thanks! Will you please do more discussion about the effects of parents' divorce & remarriage? Mine waited til I was 15 & both remarried, 2 & 4 yrs later (never called them step parents since bro & I were grown). Mother's wedding celebration was the day after my HS graduation which was not ideal (for me), besides her husband having his own dysfunctional (jerk) personality. My dad & I grew closer as I distanced myself from mom. (Then she distanced herself.) The woman my dad married is a good person overall yet has some quirks. 20+ yrs later I find myself distanced (abandoned) from both parents & believe the situation has been influenced by the 2nd spouses. Whenever either parent was "caught in the middle" they ultimately sided with the spouse, of course. Now it seems hopeless bc father has beginning stages of dementia. Too much to write... Advice?
I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
. What I found most useful, is how you presented the information. I have known of these ideas BUT, until now I never understood. Thank you :) ( which explains why that when I was part of the dating scene, I was actually seeking a mommy.. i wish I knew this stuff back then lol )
question: is it possible to be a person who is naturally securely attached but be surrounded by insecurely attached ppl and thats what causes my trauma? i feel like this is me. my mother probably has undiagnosed bpd and was always my bully. dad died when i was 12 but he was cool and empathic. younger sister who i looked after ended up diagnosed with bpd. since dad hasnt been in the picture, i kind of got pushed into a weird partner role with my mother who just yelled at me and treated me like a husband she always fights with. in adulthood i constantly find avoidant people and that makes me anxious and then i end up abandoned, but i think ive always had a secure attachment with myself. when i feel triggered i go read a book or play piano. it’s very lonely but the more i learn, the more i realize i have empathy and a secure attachment with myself. is this enough? to always turn to myself and never get comfort from an external source? life is hard.
you're actually avoidant. I know it feels like you're secure because you can depend on yourself. But being secure is being able to depend on others, and feel secure
@@ebbyc1817 you have read one comment of mine and think you can diagnose me? sounds like youre a narcissist, with that level of self-importance and entitlement. lol so how does it feel to be labelled and judged by a stranger? go to therapy and stop giving unsolicited advice. it’s a boundary violation.
If life is hard, it means that you could be missing secure attachment and a whole community, even, of people who could be there for you for your very best life! It is best to go for the whole thing in this life. Make it your best life ever! Just like, "It is a Wonderful Life".
@@ebbyc1817 Absolutely!! Thank you for diagnosing that with words. My brother says the same thing as this person but I keep trying to tell him his is AVOIDANT! ... He got very afraid when he got sick and I tried to be there and he would not have it!
I have a question. So I am avoidant, however my mum was always heavily involved in my life, listened to me, cared a lot but was overprotective and there was a lot of things I couldn't do as a child or even as an adult as a result. My dad on the other hand has never shown much interest, he showed slight interest when I was young (under 10) however after that none to the point I stopped trying to talk to him. When I am reading up on attachment style it all makes sense however because my mum and dad were and still are very different I still haven't quite understood how this applies to me. How exactly did my childhood and teenage years lead me to have avoidant attachment?
My story is a lot the same. I had a nurturing mother but my dad was an alcoholic and pretty much nonexistent emotionally. I felt he didn’t care if I was alive or dead. I’m 67 years old now and these attachment theories make sense to me. Why I avoid people, especially men, why I had two marriages which I left. Why I’m so introverted and insecure. I never really had a sense of self, who am I? My dad ended up passing at 48 because of his lifestyle. My mom passed when I was 37. I fell in love stage 57 with someone older but gave me the emotional stability that I had always wanted. But he passed away as well. I’m still grieving him after 5 years. I’ve healed some of my wounds on my own but still struggle with relationships and I guess at this stage in my life I always will. I’m thinking about therapy but part of my wonders if it’s a waste of time after all these years. I do think I suffer from CPSTD. As a result of my childhood trauma with an alcoholic father, I had what I now recognize as trichotillomania, which is hair pulling at age 10. But the saddest part of this was, my parents never addressed this as a sign I needed help. As great as my mom was she still just kind of swept it under the rug. 😢
@@cindychurch335 thanks for your comment! I also feel like I don't really know who I am and what I want out of life. This makes sense when thinking about how a dismissive avoidant child learns to suppress their own needs, especially emotional needs. Out of interest, how did you work on your attachment style/healing some of your wounds? I am learning a lot from a Facebook group called the 'attachment community' just from posting in there, the responses I have had have been so helpful and helped me in lots of ways. From what I have learnt from this group, and what you are saying about your hair pulling, I would question how emotionally attuned your mum was to you? Because sweeping something like that under the rug, a clear sign of stress/anxiety seems quite dismissive. Sorry if that comes across as offensive in any way. I haven't yet experienced love, I'm 27, I can't say I'm making a point of finding love either because it scares me and I find the idea of a relationship claustrophic. I would definitely consider therapy! I'm planning to do the same once I move out.
@@infpbubble7549 you’re welcome! We are here to help each other. I haven’t been to professional therapy, only read books and listened to various podcasts and UA-cam videos. The Unavailable Father is a good book by Sarah Rosenthal. Personally I write letters or journal to my dad, also my inner child. Writing is very healing I believe. It gets the emotions out. Search for healing the inner child and you’ll get a lot of information. As for my mom, as wonderful As she was I do feel angry at her thinking why didn’t she seek out help for me when I showed signs of stress? Maybe she didn’t know what to do? Even though she passed away 25 years ago I wish i could ask her. I did find out through other family members that my dad had a very dysfunctional childhood himself and that’s given me a lot to think about and even forgive him. For me, educating myself, coming to terms what happened in my past and learning to forgive has helped so much, I can’t change the past, but I can try and be the best I can. Hope this helps. Xx
@@cindychurch335 thanks so much Cindy. Yes I need to look more into inner child work, I've only just become aware of it, not sure how I could make it effective for me, but I will look more into it. So my mum continues to tell me that I'd do well to find a man like my dad. Whenever he is rude and off she blames it on him 'being a man'. I find this odd, she must be aware that I have no relationship with him. I wonder if deep down she suppressed it and doesn't want to believe it because it makes her uncomfortable. Also, maybe that is what my mum believes a father figure to be as that's what she experienced with her dad. Yes I've also begun wondering about my parents upbringing and how this led them to be how they are. Thank you and take care!
Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com. Based on this channel's videos and the proceeds support our continued mission to make these resources available.
I found your inner child work helpful I tried the going to childhood home with child on magic mushrooms feeling the sadness the lonrlyness the agony of being unseen and unheard. I am looking for more excercises simiar to this. I will be doing on magic mushrooms because for me this heals
👌More videos can be found on this topic at: ua-cam.com/play/PLcB3trehXswjSvwE8zV5YPISXOHgkH5I5.html&si=0YM6L9M7iZoG8d9K
❤️Self help activities and worksheets and concierge coaching with Dr. Snipes can be accessed at DocSnipes.com
👍Online Courses for Continuing Education (CEU, OPD, CPD) and Substance Abuse Counselor Certification
I love how organized your videos are, you put in so much work to provide people with this information. Thank you!
You’re welcome! Thanks for watching!
I find staying social with people helps my anxiety attending church services helps I attend w writing class once a week I hang out with a friend I do art class martial arts just staying social helps with depression even exercise does make a difference
We appreciate you watching
Well, anxiety grows if someone spends too much time alone mostly inside their own head. Humans are designed to seek danger, so it's our brain and evolution playing nasty tricks on us really. Other people provide as a mirror, show us with their lives that everyone has some struggles but different one. And staying busy simply leaves us less time to think about danger, so surely helps as well. Plus of course sports and being active makes us release "happines hormones", so it's good too. Keep up what you're doing. I do hope it will help you.
I really love your presentations on attachment. It's uncanny how spot what you say here is almost identical to my life. It's like you sawed my brain open and jumped inside
Thank you for watching! Wishing you peace, health, and happiness
Thank you 😊, you have no idea how much I needed this. Everyone needs to watch this. ❤🙏
You’re welcome! Thanks for watching!
You are absolutely true. It is turning around so many beliefs I had that were wrong and it is causing me to grieve what I did not get as very sad and also makes me so aware if what was missing as something that can be fixed and not something wrong with me. It is very, very SELF-EMPOWERING. I guess I did deserve love after all and that I did not get it was not about me not being perfect.
That's so weird how you published this video right after I started studying it. Your the best 😉
Thanks for watching! :)
Felt like you made it just for me. Of course I'll keep watching I need your help for my next assignment.
This is a fantastic video with so much useful info thank you!!
Thank you Dr. Snipes. Not sure if it is a Wi-Fi issue but for some reason the episode seems a little choppy. FYI 🤔❤🇺🇸
You’re welcome! Thanks for watching!
I agree with attachment theory.
This is making me cry. I provided this but never received attachment. I was not even allowed to ask for it as a component of fairness. People stayed only when I met their needs. When I stopped, I was dropped like a hot potato. 🥔 Lately I have abandoned them and I can only imagine that their karma will come and they will feel the way I feel.
I am sorry this happened to you, Kitty. As always, I am grateful for you being here, watching videos and supporting the channel. What did you find most useful from this video?
Videos on building secure attachment can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
Hi Dr. Could you please make a video about narcissism victims abuse and bond trauma..thank you for your videos!
You’re so welcome, Ana! I appreciate you watching the video. Videos on trauma bond can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=bond
Videos on trauma can be found at: I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most helpful from it? Other videos that might help can be found at: ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=trauma
Omgosh do you have any videos about domestic abuse and the connection ? 🙏
Thanks for watching. You can try watching this video ua-cam.com/video/UK67BUi9KqA/v-deo.html .Wishing you peace, health, and happiness
Informative, thanks! Will you please do more discussion about the effects of parents' divorce & remarriage? Mine waited til I was 15 & both remarried, 2 & 4 yrs later (never called them step parents since bro & I were grown). Mother's wedding celebration was the day after my HS graduation which was not ideal (for me), besides her husband having his own dysfunctional (jerk) personality. My dad & I grew closer as I distanced myself from mom. (Then she distanced herself.) The woman my dad married is a good person overall yet has some quirks. 20+ yrs later I find myself distanced (abandoned) from both parents & believe the situation has been influenced by the 2nd spouses. Whenever either parent was "caught in the middle" they ultimately sided with the spouse, of course. Now it seems hopeless bc father has beginning stages of dementia. Too much to write... Advice?
So I am assuming you either are avoidant or anxious?
i am on a doc snipes video marathon
I appreciate you watching the video. What did you find most useful from it? Other videos you might be interested in can be found at ua-cam.com/users/DocSnipessearch?query=secure
. What I found most useful, is how you presented the information. I have known of these ideas BUT, until now I never understood. Thank you :) ( which explains why that when I was part of the dating scene, I was actually seeking a mommy.. i wish I knew this stuff back then lol )
Thank you for helping me understand my self better
So welcome! I appreciate you watching.
@@DocSnipes I am grateful for u to share your work with lamens. Thx for putting info in a public place
Adolescence was tough for me.
My favorite time of the year and all the crusifious and cornucopia vegetables that God gives us. Let's pray for Farmers all over the world.
Спасибо огромное! 🤍
question: is it possible to be a person who is naturally securely attached but be surrounded by insecurely attached ppl and thats what causes my trauma? i feel like this is me. my mother probably has undiagnosed bpd and was always my bully. dad died when i was 12 but he was cool and empathic. younger sister who i looked after ended up diagnosed with bpd. since dad hasnt been in the picture, i kind of got pushed into a weird partner role with my mother who just yelled at me and treated me like a husband she always fights with. in adulthood i constantly find avoidant people and that makes me anxious and then i end up abandoned, but i think ive always had a secure attachment with myself. when i feel triggered i go read a book or play piano. it’s very lonely but the more i learn, the more i realize i have empathy and a secure attachment with myself. is this enough? to always turn to myself and never get comfort from an external source? life is hard.
you're actually avoidant. I know it feels like you're secure because you can depend on yourself. But being secure is being able to depend on others, and feel secure
@@ebbyc1817 you have read one comment of mine and think you can diagnose me? sounds like youre a narcissist, with that level of self-importance and entitlement. lol so how does it feel to be labelled and judged by a stranger? go to therapy and stop giving unsolicited advice. it’s a boundary violation.
If life is hard, it means that you could be missing secure attachment and a whole community, even, of people who could be there for you for your very best life! It is best to go for the whole thing in this life. Make it your best life ever! Just like, "It is a Wonderful Life".
@@ebbyc1817 Absolutely!! Thank you for diagnosing that with words. My brother says the same thing as this person but I keep trying to tell him his is AVOIDANT! ... He got very afraid when he got sick and I tried to be there and he would not have it!
@@CynthiaSchoenbauer some of us on this thread are forgetting one can have a secure relationship with oneself.
I rolled around as a little kid because I had trouble walking being born with a disability.
I have a question. So I am avoidant, however my mum was always heavily involved in my life, listened to me, cared a lot but was overprotective and there was a lot of things I couldn't do as a child or even as an adult as a result. My dad on the other hand has never shown much interest, he showed slight interest when I was young (under 10) however after that none to the point I stopped trying to talk to him. When I am reading up on attachment style it all makes sense however because my mum and dad were and still are very different I still haven't quite understood how this applies to me. How exactly did my childhood and teenage years lead me to have avoidant attachment?
My story is a lot the same. I had a nurturing mother but my dad was an alcoholic and pretty much nonexistent emotionally. I felt he didn’t care if I was alive or dead. I’m 67 years old now and these attachment theories make sense to me. Why I avoid people, especially men, why I had two marriages which I left. Why I’m so introverted and insecure. I never really had a sense of self, who am I?
My dad ended up passing at 48 because of his lifestyle. My mom passed when I was 37. I fell in love stage 57 with someone older but gave me the emotional stability that I had always wanted. But he passed away as well. I’m still grieving him after 5 years.
I’ve healed some of my wounds on my own but still struggle with relationships and I guess at this stage in my life I always will.
I’m thinking about therapy but part of my wonders if it’s a waste of time after all these years.
I do think I suffer from CPSTD. As a result of my childhood trauma with an alcoholic father, I had what I now recognize as trichotillomania, which is hair pulling at age 10. But the saddest part of this was, my parents never addressed this as a sign I needed help. As great as my mom was she still just kind of swept it under the rug. 😢
@@cindychurch335 thanks for your comment, for some reason my response didn't send on UA-cam which I wrote the other day.
@@cindychurch335 thanks for your comment! I also feel like I don't really know who I am and what I want out of life. This makes sense when thinking about how a dismissive avoidant child learns to suppress their own needs, especially emotional needs. Out of interest, how did you work on your attachment style/healing some of your wounds? I am learning a lot from a Facebook group called the 'attachment community' just from posting in there, the responses I have had have been so helpful and helped me in lots of ways. From what I have learnt from this group, and what you are saying about your hair pulling, I would question how emotionally attuned your mum was to you? Because sweeping something like that under the rug, a clear sign of stress/anxiety seems quite dismissive. Sorry if that comes across as offensive in any way. I haven't yet experienced love, I'm 27, I can't say I'm making a point of finding love either because it scares me and I find the idea of a relationship claustrophic.
I would definitely consider therapy! I'm planning to do the same once I move out.
@@infpbubble7549 you’re welcome! We are here to help each other.
I haven’t been to professional therapy, only read books and listened to various podcasts and UA-cam videos. The Unavailable Father is a good book by Sarah Rosenthal. Personally I write letters or journal to my dad, also my inner child. Writing is very healing I believe. It gets the emotions out. Search for healing the inner child and you’ll get a lot of information.
As for my mom, as wonderful
As she was I do feel angry at her thinking why didn’t she seek out help for me when I showed signs of stress? Maybe she didn’t know what to do? Even though she passed away 25 years ago I wish i could ask her.
I did find out through other family members that my dad had a very dysfunctional childhood himself and that’s given me a lot to think about and even forgive him.
For me, educating myself, coming to terms what happened in my past and learning to forgive has helped so much, I can’t change the past, but I can try and be the best I can.
Hope this helps. Xx
@@cindychurch335 thanks so much Cindy. Yes I need to look more into inner child work, I've only just become aware of it, not sure how I could make it effective for me, but I will look more into it. So my mum continues to tell me that I'd do well to find a man like my dad. Whenever he is rude and off she blames it on him 'being a man'. I find this odd, she must be aware that I have no relationship with him. I wonder if deep down she suppressed it and doesn't want to believe it because it makes her uncomfortable. Also, maybe that is what my mum believes a father figure to be as that's what she experienced with her dad. Yes I've also begun wondering about my parents upbringing and how this led them to be how they are. Thank you and take care!
❤
Thank you for watching the video
Unlimited CEUs for $59 at AllCEUs.com. Based on this channel's videos and the proceeds support our continued mission to make these resources available.
Would these work for nurses too or only at a certain graduate level?
I found your inner child work helpful I tried the going to childhood home with child on magic mushrooms feeling the sadness the lonrlyness the agony of being unseen and unheard. I am looking for more excercises simiar to this. I will be doing on magic mushrooms because for me this heals
Tough love oof