S5E4: Joy, Shame and the Brain
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- Опубліковано 25 лис 2024
- Welcome to season 5 episode 4 where this season we are bringing you personal stories and deep teaching into Curt’s book, The Soul of Shame. This week we are looking at chapter 3, “Joy, Shame and the Brain”.
We were made for joy.
The bible and our greatest literature attest to this. But not only this: research in attachment reflects that joyful human relationships are the key to our well-being.
No wonder, then, that shame targets our experience of joy as its first priority in disintegrating us, disconnecting us from ourselves and each other.
This week we examine why joy is so important to practice-yep, you read that right: practice-and how shame will do anything it can to rob us of as much of it as it can.
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Episode Links and References
• Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck
• Affect Regulation and the Repair of the Self by Allan Schore
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CURT THOMPSON, MD BOOKS
• The Soul of Desire www.ivpress.co...
• The Soul of Shame www.ivpress.co...
• Anatomy of the Soul www.amazon.com...
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Wow this conversation was what I needed to hear today! I woke up thinking I needed to regain joy in my life, I searched joy on UA-cam and this came up! God answered the cry of my heart, thank you for articulating the answer to my questions. Bless you.
Dr. Thompson’s teachings about the Bible and shame have been no less than life-changing for me.
I am so encouraged that Pepper had a teacher that saw his giftings. My teacher experience in 4th grade was very different. I was chubby in the days of Twiggy and Cher. My heavy unmarried teacher, kept me (age 9) in from recess one day to tell me that she had never had a date, never been invited to a dance or prom and told me that if I did not lose weight, that would be me too. I was 9! She projected her pain onto a 9 year old.My parents went to the school but the damage was done. Thank God I know who I am in Christ, am married with wonderful children.
So needed to hear over & over.
When a whole group of people know that one person is misbehaving what keeps the group from calling that person out - sometimes shame is a good thing and it sounds like this person needed a little. I worked for a manager in an intensive care unit who would berate staff in front of everyone - we had a small group of people who would form a circle around her when she started to do this - we wouldn’t say anything but just look at her and she finally realized what she was doing and stopped the behavior.
Listening to these stories of teachers' influence makes me hope for stories like this for my kids! I wish teachers weren't experiencing such a lack of joy in their field this year!
Thank you so much for this episode. So many shame moments came to mind when I listened to the stories in this podcast. I carry shame around my neck, in my chest, my stomach, my shoulders. My narcissistic sister regularly shamed me until I finally grew a spine and said, “I’m done” about 2 years ago. The aftermath of that decision has cost me my relationship with my 2 nieces and nephew, and my narcissistic mother blames me for ‘blowing up the family’. The smear campaign against me has been on full blast and my nieces and nephew hate me because of my sister’s lies about me and what happened. Some days I listen to my shame all day long and it feels like I’m walking in wet cement, and as I keep trying to figure out why all this happened, the cement gets heavier and heavier, and by the time supper is cooked, cleaned up, and my kids are getting ready for bed, I’m absolutely exhausted. I need to check out, unplug my brain, and sleep, only to dream about all my flaws and insecurities.
My wife and I have been going through your podcasts, and it is a great study of the complexity of human behavior. You are taking us into some deep conversations following each podcast. So, bottom line, thanks for all your work in putting these together, and I hope more people will start to take advantage of this great resource. I did want to disagree with you on something that was covered, however, in this episode 4, in the bonus material. When Amy recounted the story of her 9-year-old self being disciplined by her mother for lying, I felt Curt took the wrong position. My take is that it had very little to do with teeth brushing, and everything to do with lying, and I believe lying to be a sin. So, what should parents do when they catch their children sinning? Look the other way? Moms and Dads are taking a huge hit these days in our modern "woke" culture to the point where schools are referring to them as "caregivers" or "birthing persons." Let's not armchair quarterback the tough job they have trying to raise righteous children. Amy, sorry for your negative experience, but you deserved a consequence for lying. You may disagree with her means and methods, but "paying the piper" was appropriate. I only hope you learned to tell the truth from that experience, but it seems like you're still critical of mom. I'd for one, send cheers to your mom...obviously you've turned out pretty good, and she undoubtedly had a big part in that. For that, I would be thankful. In future podcasts, I hope to hear how shame does play a constructive role in our development if applied appropriately. Thanks.