Why We Should Talk About Gay Loneliness
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- Опубліковано 8 вер 2024
- I had a video blow up this week, so, I figured I'd introduce myself to my new subscribers and discuss why it's important to still discuss gay Loneliness.
#lgbt #relationships #mentalhealth
Hello dear Donny, I am one of your new subscribers! As a shy, average, non-athletic guy at the age of 36, I've been single for far too long and the dark winter season is challenging for my mental health. The focus often only on sex (even with strange preferences or in a risky and unprotected way) in the gay (online) scene really annoys me, I'm more looking for true love with loyalty, trust, security, respect and so on. That's obviously hard to find in this difficult world with about 95% heterosexuals. I'm very grateful that you're talking about gay loneliness and sharing your personal experiences with us. I wish I could hug you. Please keep it up.
It's not 95% strict hetero people, not even close. I would guess at least a third to up to a half of people are interested in or have been with someone of the same sex.
@@john.premose
Well, this can be especially the case in the larger cities. Let's hope that more and more people can free themselves from conservative religions and toxic gender stereotypes.
@@PhoenixMK87 Gender stereotypes are toxic? In what way?
@@avivastudios2311
A gender stereotype is a generalized view or preconception about attributes or characteristics, or the roles that are or ought to be possessed by, or performed by, women and men. A gender stereotype is harmful (or toxic) when it limits women’s and men’s capacity to develop their personal abilities, pursue their professional careers and/or make choices about their lives.
This may shock some, but I am a 59 y.o. gay man in a monogamous relationship (for 23 years) and I am (desperately) lonely. I knew I was gay at 15, but was shy & filled with Christian guilt & repression. In hindsight there were several opportunities to explore my homosexual urges, but my religious upbringing, dysfunctional family life, and lack of self esteem quickly put an end to this. College didn't help, still shy, no esteem, & way too much religious repression meant I didn't even explore the gay "community" (gay bar) until my late junior year. This obtaining only a few meaningless one night encounters. I did make a few friends, but these were more bar mates than life pals. I had a few brief relationships, but these were dysfunctional messes, and confusing mistakes. One man I loved twice, but couldn't connect to intellectually. Sexually I could find no joy, I did not relish either active or passive rolls. I finally met my husband at age 36, who I connected with intellectually, but due to my sexual & emotional baggage our sex life has been all but non-existent. While I can imagine and dream of an intimacy and connection that fills me and completes me, that seemlessly & joyfully interweaves my being with his. I have yet to meet such a soulmate. I do not speak of this to my husband. I love my husband. I do not want to hurt my husband. Our life together is safe, and protective, and we enjoy our life together. And yet I am lonely.
It takes a lot of strength to be able to share this. Thank you for that.
@@DonnyWinter Thank you. And thank you for the discussion.
@phil.....well then talk to him ! Communicate!
@@user-sf5fk6ox4c We talk. The issue is that there is a fundamental difference between us. He will never understand me the way I need him to, and I will never understand him the way he needs me to. We accept this, but it creates a barrier to ultimate intimacy. We love each other deeply, but it is more like brothers. We are a family, and our household works, and we are happy, because we are safe, secure and our needs our essentially met. We just aren't soul mates.
@@philmallott5464 Then by definition , you are friends- no sex.
0:54 '...frequent conversations about the *epidemic* of gay loneliness ...' if it's an 'epidemic' today, what was it like 30 or 40yrs ago? in an age where things like AIDS were lethal?
'how some straight men capitalise on gay loneliness' I have to watch that video. is it different from any other predatory behaviour where some jerks try to trick vulnerable people for their money?
2:05 'especially when we look at the political ramifications of things that have taken place _over the past year_ .' did something very important happen in this field in the US over the past year? the _sense of belonging_ with one another would be easier to create if US society would be less hostile to ideas of _solidarity_ and burden sharing in many aspects of society. it starts with the notion what the state (or: government) is there for. if you want a lean state, keep the government out of your life wherever possible, don't want to pay taxes, no universal health system etc and eveyone is on his/her own then 'sense of belonging' is something quite alien to the individual.
Exactly. This is an aspect of all life in the US. This guy is typical of Americans in not being able to see the big picture, because Americans are systematically conditioned against ever seeing anything beyond their own immediate lives, in order to be better controlled and prevent any kind of solidarity or community from forming.
Has it only been 10 years? I could have sworn it was longer.
Technically it's been closer to 15!
@@DonnyWinter12 years🎉