I was not expecting such a great co-parenting story after leaving a group like that! Sounds like your kids are very lucky to have such an open minded Dad!
Absolutely, but I think his kids are very lucky they have the mother they have as well, because it could've just as much been another woman in this religion who was completely indoctrinated to the point she cut him off from his kids and them from the outside world. It has happened before in these high-demand religions, one parent leaves, and the other traps the kids inside it and makes it almost impossible for them to leave. They're very lucky they are seeing both worlds and have the freedom to choose what works for them and their well-being. I'm really happy to hear this is the case in this situation.
I left an unhealthy relationship a year ago. This episode brought into words what I am going through. You mentioned so many things that I am experiencing and going through. From being isolated to building a completely new circle and from feeling so lost to finally rediscover who I am and what I love. It feels great to hear that it will get so much better. Thank you for your work❤
I am so glad that you were able to get free from a toxic relationship..this whole community is so loving and so inspirational. It's a safe place for anyone. Sending you so much love. ❤
It will get better, a little easier each day. I hope you get some therapy, and find a club or place of worship (center of the road kind) to rebuild your community.
Can I just sat how much I appreciate how he handles his relationship with his ex wife and his kids? I was raised in an ugly divorce with infidelity. What you are doing for your kids is amazing
Shelise, a few months ago I stumbled across your channel. Every episode challenges me to think about my relationship with myself. Escape the script. These words sent me back over my 69 years of life, thinking of the scripts I have escaped, and the ones I still I haven’t. I so appreciate your open, caring nature when speaking with survivors. I have rarely found people who exhibit such compassion for others, with no judgment attached. You are wise beyond your years. It is fine work you are doing here, and I feel great joy for the souls you have touched over time. May you continue your channel, your interest, your compassion, your quest, for as long as it fulfills you.
Calvin is so right. Do something that interests you. And you will meet people. When they invite you to stuff, SHOW UP! Recently. I put myself out there and have picked up many new friends, I’m more active in my community, and my career is hitting a milestone I’ve listed after for years thanks to a friend I made.
Just started the episode! It was great chatting with you some at the coffee meetup, Calvin! I’m excited to hear this part of your story and wish you luck in your endeavors!
Thank you! I’m glad young people are forward thinking and wise! As a boomer I’m happy to see your generation taking charge and not just “following with blinders on” keep up the good work!!!
Thanks for coming back Calvin! I love the stories of y'all from the Work, The Order, etc. realizing all of us "outsiders" aren't really possessed by Satan and how you can be part of a wider world safely without judgment and abuse.
Thanks for a great episode Shelise! Calvin, you are wonderfully authentic and it is a real pleasure to watch your interviews. Keep living your authenticity!
Great interview! I've become a regular watcher of this channel. I didn't grow up in any religion or group, but I am recognizing that my family was basically a cult! I was abused in all the ways (emotional, physical, sexual, verbal) and at the heart of it all was my intensely aggressive and controlling mother. I was brainwashed from infancy to have a certain worldview and way of thinking about myself. I took on my mothers's opinion of me, and who I am (which has no basis in reality!). After decades of therapy and recovery work, and finding my own spirituality, I have come to realize that almost everything I was taught was a lie! I loved "Escape the script", and "Write your own story". I don't want to live by following someone else's story anymore. I have my own story!
Wow - listening to this and hearing you talk about your Dad's passing has massively resonated with me - I can't stop crying. I'm in the UK and lost my Dad to MND (ALS I think in the US?) last November. I wasn't able to get to see him before he passed and I have been carrying so much guilt and anger. At the funeral it was very clear my own daughter had also had a very different relationship/experience than her cousins and I have indeed been mourning not just the loss of my Dad, but grieving the relationship that other family members had with them, that we didn't. I am also coming to grips with accepting that I am neurodivergent (following the diagnosis of my daughter and husband a couple of years ago) and has really helped me understand why I felt different and why I have always struggled with certain things that others haven't. At 54 I am finally learning to love myself! Thank you so much for sharing your story Calvin and thank you Shelise Ann for this channel. It has relevance for so many people around the world.
man…the conversation around 40:00-42:00 ish mark, just incredible. wether or not either of you are aware of it you are both so insightful and inspiring most of all. hearing things like “go be yourself” and “follow your highest excitement” may seem simple but they hit deep and I really needed to hear this today🫶🏼 thank you both, Shelise i’ve said it before and I’ll say it again girl you are an incredible interview host, thank you for the content you create.
I love the Cults to Consciousness Clips concept! Cool! If you made one of the “building a community” segment (40:26) I’d watch it all the time. I’m currently on the journey of stepping out and looking for my community and building my self worth. I watched Margi Dehlin’s THRIVE Story - Coming Home To Myself last night, and find myself more open today to doing the work of learning who my true self is and how to be her every day. Thanks for the inspiration Calvin and Shelise! I’m a huge fan of the channel! 💞
It's really interesting to hear people say that when they left, it was the hardest time of their life. I think many people stay in cults or organized religion, or high control groups because of the social aspects, and don't necessarily stay for the religious aspects. Some people may avoid leaving, or go back, when they realize just how difficult leaving can be - socially. It's so good for others to be validated that yes leaving is hard for anyone. And there are social consequences to leaving...but if you push through that it's worth it on the other side. In some ways it's a self sacrifice to leave due to the social networks you lose, but it's one less person being brainwashed.
32 minutes in, you were driving at 80mph, rolled your car, and survived? Well done for wearing your... *seatbelt*. It saved your life. Seatbelts work. With garments, without seatbelt: nah Without garments, with seatbelt: you walk away
It was very interesting, thanks for sharing, kudos to you for having the courage to come out and tell your story and the short videos are a great idea,
Great quality discussion as usual. Re responsibilities to help ppl who are in "cults" see things from alternate perspectives, I think the commonality of the experiences that I've heard is that mostly ppl only gain insight that they're in a ct is when they hear someone else's story from a different cult (which the listener finds shocking or ridiculous) and thenthey observe, wow that sounds so similar to the system I'm living in.... huh, what does that mean??? I know I'm not in a cult, but all the same their story is resonating with me....
Always find something to take away from watching these videos. .! Admire Calvin for being so honest, and while sad about his Dad, at least he had time to get a little closer to him, and he has that to remember to his credit. It's not easy having family turning back on you. It's happened in my life, but again, I have found people whom I now consider family because, like Calvin, I followed an interest and met great people who have stood by me in bad and good times and like me for me. I'm always open to a family reconciliation, but I am a different person now and not so compliant and ready to be treated badly as I was before. No religion involved just a bad sibling marriage break up where the children were badly brainwashed by the mother. I lived for and loved their children. I was treated badly as were my late beautiful parents who were ignored in their last years and totally underappreciated for loving everyone involved unconditionally. Sad but true. Good wishes to all. I'm so glad I had a lovely childhood and had parents who, while they loved their religion, never forced it on us and welcomed all into their hearts and home atheist and Christian alike.
@@officialcalvinwayman whyyyyy didn't I timestamp it???? I found it again at 1:09:00. Also as an aside, I'm contracting at a facility owned by a suuuuuper pentecostal organization (think speaking in tongues and being slain in the spirit) and I had to switch to hotspot to reply to this comment because the video is blocked by their network!!! Like the video of Shelise interviewing a former evangelical pastor is available but not this one?
I've been watching this channel the last few years and thought this was the religion I left at first! I'm an ex 2x2 (called The Truth, The Way, church without a name) "The Work" in my religion refers to the ministry. We call our ministers "workers" and when they offer to become a minister, it's called going into the work. I'm really hoping for a brave soul to tell their story about the 2x2s at some point. You can watch a documentary about us on Hulu called "Secrets of the 2x2 Church." I left this church recently & the devastation of losing 95% of your community and being accused of going after the ways of Satan is truly horrific. The SA/CSA within this group is massive. There are thousands of stories to be told. I love the work you're doing, and listening to your channel helped open my eyes. ❤
BOY does it ever resonate w/ me, that gift of affirmation, that leaving the abusive group, or even, interpersonal relationship, was 150% the right call. Also, I just want to weigh in, about choosing to not stand your ground, during your dad’s exit voyage. As the offspring of a formerly pretty abusive dad, myself, we have to realize that, in some situations, there IS NO middle path option open to us. Sometimes we may choose to walk away from a moment, because the only choices which may be accessible to us in that moment, might be to go against our personal ethics and go full-bore berserker mode, and probably definitely do/say things we would later regret deeply, or to take a beat and just walk away when you need to do so. I’m so deeply glad that you got to hear your dad say, “you’ve made it”, and that your dad got the chance to say it, bc of your courageous choice to come from a place of high integrity and emotional honesty. I am really enjoying your interview and your energy, Calvin. Shelise, you are resplendent as always. Thank you all (and crucial backstage teammates!) for your important work, and please remain awesome 💜⚡️
I agree that he's showing his children an alternative! They'll know they can leave and live differently. Proud of him for choosing his happiness & giving others hope!
Hi Calvin, There's a phrase that I felt like you were circling in this entire interview...."living authentically." At least, that's what I call it. My decision-making patterns have completely changed since I discovered those words. Living authentically has changed who I am, what I do with my life, the conversations I've had, and even who I love. It's empowering, and I'm happier than I've ever been to discover my authentic self.
Yes! That’s exactly right-maybe used slightly differently wording but that’s exactly it. And my entire message too-live authenticity. That’s your source of life’s great adventure.
Wow....Calvin, this is what it means to "do the work" - you've successfully faced so many demons, and the worst is behind you. Wishing you all the peace and potential joy to be manifested to you - that's the only way it happens. It's so worth doing! What an example for your kids. All good things to you.
Your explanation as to what it feels like when healing from a polygamist cult is really interesting to me since I too am going through situations sometimes which are challenging. Like for example when someone whom I have never met before or whom I have never been introduced to before was approching me on the same wide sidewalk along store fronts right after I passed by a couple of black men said to me, "Are you black now" or something like that before having a chance to smile again. At age 67 while only wanting to go home from a senior's meet up that only made me feel perplexed while I then was wondering what that young man was going through at the time. Maybe he was someone online who shared something on Facebook whom I had left a comment under. Because of the context not being any social media platform and because it seemed racist too I started wondering if I should after gettting home be blocking or unfriending anyone who looked a lot like him. Since I have a lot of relatives living here in the same city with a cousin or 2 who looks a lot like me what else am I to do when trying to stay safe?
Calvin is super smart, he could be (and I hope he is) an excellent therapist. He gets it, he gets the psychology of it all. I hope we will hear much more of him.
What happened with your dad when you stood up to him, I think it's not only that your relationship was more honest. It's also that setting boundaries allows for respect on both sides. I've definitely had that experience with my parents. They were never physically violent but my upbringing was traditional in the sense that you didn't talk back to your parents and were definitely slightly afraid of them. When, as an adult, I managed to stand up for myself and expected to be treated as an equal, it took some time for them to adjust but our relationship improved tenfols. And my mum in turn learnt to set boundaries with her own parents 😂
My problem is that I was so restricted as a child and adolescent that I don't know what I like. If anyone has any advice on figuring this out please let me know
Just asking that question seems like a great place to start! Give yourself time and room to try different experiences. You'll find out what you like :)
Also Shelise, Try the vanilla coffee from nestle, Also you don't have to have it strong, Most people ask why do i bother with that 1/3 or half strength coffee or they call it my milk water. 😂😀
@@CultstoConsciousnessit’s ok- some people are “super-tasters” and you just process the sense of taste way way more intensely than the average person. I’m in this group, as well. One thing I will say, is salting your coffee will cut the bitter taste, and for me, out of all the things I’ve tried, the most effective has been to find a nice French roast, and to just add honey and salt to taste, - oh, and to drink it hot. (But if matcha is your jam, that’s cool too)
@@CultstoConsciousness I have a really sweet tooth, when i first tried coffee when i was around 10yrs it was always too strong, In Australia we have weak blends and really strong blends, You have to find a blend you like, I grew up on a dairy farm so i like my coffee with milk no water, and two sugars, I need the sugar to cover up the bitter coffee taste or i won't be able to drink it. For me Tea taste like dirty dish wash, I always have flavoured infusions like licorice or vanilla and rose. 🙂😀🥰🥰😋
I completely understand wanting to have a closer relationship with my dad and not really getting it. Even at the end. While I was there at the end. I never got the chance to have the relationship I wanted to. And when he passed it was hard.
About the coffee thing, was the coffee you tried a dark coffee with no milk? If it was, maybe try it with milk. Dark coffee is really bitter, so all the coffee I drink is at least 90% milk.
Shelise, if you can & want, you should do some videos about witchcraft, witched, stuff like that. Not newage if you know what i mean. Thats would be really interesting & also important. Anyway, THANK YOU ALWAYS FOR THIS CHANNEL I LOOOVEEEE THIS & THE GUESTS AND TAKE CARE ALWAYS YALLLL🩷🩷🩷
There's a video out there from 2016 I believe, of a little kid telling his mom "listen Linda, Linda listen" in a sassy way, it became a meme. You can probably still find the video.
Religion should have nothing to do with family relationships. It is crazy that there are people who can only relate to or love their relatives if they share the same religion.
I don't understand what the confusion that resulted from Calvin's response of "Who am I to tell my 27-year-old what to do". He explained that he would interrogate her motives and present his opinions but let them decide. It's basically the same for adults that you don't know, you just have less access to them, so you have to condense your opinion of a better way of life or why their way is worse and let them decide. If they decide to continue in what you consider the "wrong" way, you and the world with interact with their way and the aggregation of all the ways to live will decide which is the best for survival, not necessarily for happiness.
@officialcalvinwayman Yes and it was me who mentioned moths ago, to him too. I believe you have the same grandfather or great grandfather? His channel is @GrowingupinPoligamy
The problem with most "fundamentalist" Christians is that I don't think their churches are anything like original New Testament churches. With Mormonism, it was founded so much later, the fundamentalist seem to actually following the original founders more, in some ways at least.
What protects the parts of your body the garments don't cover? Aren't those parts important? If your body is the temple of God why do you need garments?
I was not expecting such a great co-parenting story after leaving a group like that! Sounds like your kids are very lucky to have such an open minded Dad!
Absolutely, but I think his kids are very lucky they have the mother they have as well, because it could've just as much been another woman in this religion who was completely indoctrinated to the point she cut him off from his kids and them from the outside world. It has happened before in these high-demand religions, one parent leaves, and the other traps the kids inside it and makes it almost impossible for them to leave. They're very lucky they are seeing both worlds and have the freedom to choose what works for them and their well-being. I'm really happy to hear this is the case in this situation.
@@boogiemonstermom677 I couldn’t agree more!
I left an unhealthy relationship a year ago. This episode brought into words what I am going through. You mentioned so many things that I am experiencing and going through. From being isolated to building a completely new circle and from feeling so lost to finally rediscover who I am and what I love. It feels great to hear that it will get so much better. Thank you for your work❤
I am so glad that you were able to get free from a toxic relationship..this whole community is so loving and so inspirational. It's a safe place for anyone. Sending you so much love. ❤
It will get better, a little easier each day. I hope you get some therapy, and find a club or place of worship (center of the road kind) to rebuild your community.
1:02:52 "Your authenticity threatens their simplicity" is a DANG GOOD statement
And their artificiality.
Thank you! 😁 maybe I should put it on a t shirt lol
100% agree. Love that statement
Glad to hear his daughter has an independent spirit
How does Calvin's Mother feel? Does he love his Mother? Is he concerned about her? ❤😢
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
Thank you for always being here to remind us.❤
❤ 100%
Love the way Calvin described what the best thing he could give his children.
Can I just sat how much I appreciate how he handles his relationship with his ex wife and his kids? I was raised in an ugly divorce with infidelity. What you are doing for your kids is amazing
Calvin I love your candidness, your intelligence, and you're approach to life! Keep winning! 🏆
🥹❤
Thank you again, Calvin, Shelise and Jonathan. I love love love these conversations. Im always learning new ways of thinking from you.
Thanks for listening!
Me too.
Shelise, a few months ago I stumbled across your channel. Every episode challenges me to think about my relationship with myself. Escape the script. These words sent me back over my 69 years of life, thinking of the scripts I have escaped, and the ones I still I haven’t.
I so appreciate your open, caring nature when speaking with survivors. I have rarely found people who exhibit such compassion for others, with no judgment attached. You are wise beyond your years. It is fine work you are doing here, and I feel great joy for the souls you have touched over time. May you continue your channel, your interest, your compassion, your quest, for as long as it fulfills you.
❤
Thank you for continuing to be here for these survivors. 🎉
Calvin is so right. Do something that interests you. And you will meet people. When they invite you to stuff, SHOW UP! Recently. I put myself out there and have picked up many new friends, I’m more active in my community, and my career is hitting a milestone I’ve listed after for years thanks to a friend I made.
Wooo! Go Amy Lou!
Just started the episode! It was great chatting with you some at the coffee meetup, Calvin! I’m excited to hear this part of your story and wish you luck in your endeavors!
Yes! So great meeting you, Zach! Glad you came out!
This was so good to hear. What a very well spoken young man. 😊
Thank you! I’m glad young people are forward thinking and wise! As a boomer I’m happy to see your generation taking charge and not just “following with blinders on” keep up the good work!!!
Liked. Shared. Commented. Send the algorithm soaring!
So heartbreaking he couldn’t say bye to his dad. Thanks for sharing your story
So much respect for Calvin and his approach to life after hearing him share this 💔❤️
What a well spoken guest. I learned so much. Thank you for being so open and explaining things so well.
Thanks for coming back Calvin! I love the stories of y'all from the Work, The Order, etc. realizing all of us "outsiders" aren't really possessed by Satan and how you can be part of a wider world safely without judgment and abuse.
Thanks for a great episode Shelise!
Calvin, you are wonderfully authentic and it is a real pleasure to watch your interviews. Keep living your authenticity!
Great interview! I've become a regular watcher of this channel. I didn't grow up in any religion or group, but I am recognizing that my family was basically a cult! I was abused in all the ways (emotional, physical, sexual, verbal) and at the heart of it all was my intensely aggressive and controlling mother. I was brainwashed from infancy to have a certain worldview and way of thinking about myself. I took on my mothers's opinion of me, and who I am (which has no basis in reality!). After decades of therapy and recovery work, and finding my own spirituality, I have come to realize that almost everything I was taught was a lie!
I loved "Escape the script", and "Write your own story". I don't want to live by following someone else's story anymore. I have my own story!
✊❤
Break the script! Might be my favorite Linda Listen yet 💕
Wow - listening to this and hearing you talk about your Dad's passing has massively resonated with me - I can't stop crying. I'm in the UK and lost my Dad to MND (ALS I think in the US?) last November. I wasn't able to get to see him before he passed and I have been carrying so much guilt and anger. At the funeral it was very clear my own daughter had also had a very different relationship/experience than her cousins and I have indeed been mourning not just the loss of my Dad, but grieving the relationship that other family members had with them, that we didn't. I am also coming to grips with accepting that I am neurodivergent (following the diagnosis of my daughter and husband a couple of years ago) and has really helped me understand why I felt different and why I have always struggled with certain things that others haven't. At 54 I am finally learning to love myself! Thank you so much for sharing your story Calvin and thank you Shelise Ann for this channel. It has relevance for so many people around the world.
😢❤❤❤❤❤
Calvin, you are a great clever intelligent honest father, together with Shelise, you both are great great speakers ❤ from the Netherlands
Love this interview. He's inspiration.
man…the conversation around 40:00-42:00 ish mark, just incredible. wether or not either of you are aware of it you are both so insightful and inspiring most of all. hearing things like “go be yourself” and “follow your highest excitement” may seem simple but they hit deep and I really needed to hear this today🫶🏼 thank you both, Shelise i’ve said it before and I’ll say it again girl you are an incredible interview host, thank you for the content you create.
Exactly!! ❤
I love the Cults to Consciousness Clips concept! Cool! If you made one of the “building a community” segment (40:26) I’d watch it all the time. I’m currently on the journey of stepping out and looking for my community and building my self worth. I watched Margi Dehlin’s THRIVE Story - Coming Home To Myself last night, and find myself more open today to doing the work of learning who my true self is and how to be her every day. Thanks for the inspiration Calvin and Shelise! I’m a huge fan of the channel! 💞
Thank you for the suggestion! I’m going to have to watch that!
It's really interesting to hear people say that when they left, it was the hardest time of their life. I think many people stay in cults or organized religion, or high control groups because of the social aspects, and don't necessarily stay for the religious aspects. Some people may avoid leaving, or go back, when they realize just how difficult leaving can be - socially. It's so good for others to be validated that yes leaving is hard for anyone. And there are social consequences to leaving...but if you push through that it's worth it on the other side.
In some ways it's a self sacrifice to leave due to the social networks you lose, but it's one less person being brainwashed.
Yes exactly
I am so sorry, that he experienced hate for speaking up. So brave to do it again, thank you for that❤
I love the powerful messages in this episode. So glad you had Calvin back on
32 minutes in, you were driving at 80mph, rolled your car, and survived?
Well done for wearing your...
*seatbelt*.
It saved your life. Seatbelts work.
With garments, without seatbelt: nah
Without garments, with seatbelt: you walk away
Haha
Such an ingesting conversation. It really flows and would love to here another one from you both. Wish you all the best🍀🤗🍀
Escape the script. Thanks for these inspiring words Calvin ✨
Nice to see Calvin again ❤❤ hi Calvin 😊
✊
Thank you for sharing your story
I love to see both of you so happy.
What a wonderful conversation. Thank you both.
It was very interesting, thanks for sharing, kudos to you for having the courage to come out and tell your story and the short videos are a great idea,
Great quality discussion as usual. Re responsibilities to help ppl who are in "cults" see things from alternate perspectives, I think the commonality of the experiences that I've heard is that mostly ppl only gain insight that they're in a ct is when they hear someone else's story from a different cult (which the listener finds shocking or ridiculous) and thenthey observe, wow that sounds so similar to the system I'm living in.... huh, what does that mean??? I know I'm not in a cult, but all the same their story is resonating with me....
For sure!!!
So many important insights in this episode!! ❤
I L O V E to listen to your deep thinking!! There are people that appreciate that skill and the moral system you operate from!! Keep going!
Always find something to take away from watching these videos. .! Admire Calvin for being so honest, and while sad about his Dad, at least he had time to get a little closer to him, and he has that to remember to his credit. It's not easy having family turning back on you. It's happened in my life, but again, I have found people whom I now consider family because, like Calvin, I followed an interest and met great people who have stood by me in bad and good times and like me for me. I'm always open to a family reconciliation, but I am a different person now and not so compliant and ready to be treated badly as I was before. No religion involved just a bad sibling marriage break up where the children were badly brainwashed by the mother. I lived for and loved their children. I was treated badly as were my late beautiful parents who were ignored in their last years and totally underappreciated for loving everyone involved unconditionally. Sad but true. Good wishes to all. I'm so glad I had a lovely childhood and had parents who, while they loved their religion, never forced it on us and welcomed all into their hearts and home atheist and Christian alike.
"I don't think any living human being has a monopoly on what is real and what is true" DANG CALVIN that's like the quote of the year
Hey where did I say that?? Cuz I like that quote too 😂😂
@@officialcalvinwayman whyyyyy didn't I timestamp it???? I found it again at 1:09:00. Also as an aside, I'm contracting at a facility owned by a suuuuuper pentecostal organization (think speaking in tongues and being slain in the spirit) and I had to switch to hotspot to reply to this comment because the video is blocked by their network!!! Like the video of Shelise interviewing a former evangelical pastor is available but not this one?
@@officialcalvinwaymanoh it's you
@@officialcalvinwayman😂 you are sooo eloquent. Put your words on a shirt🎉
@@seattlenatalie😢
I love this conversation between you too! Hope you invite him more on the channel!
Wow, I so appreciate his honest open heart. Be who and what you want to be.
I've been watching this channel the last few years and thought this was the religion I left at first! I'm an ex 2x2 (called The Truth, The Way, church without a name) "The Work" in my religion refers to the ministry. We call our ministers "workers" and when they offer to become a minister, it's called going into the work. I'm really hoping for a brave soul to tell their story about the 2x2s at some point. You can watch a documentary about us on Hulu called "Secrets of the 2x2 Church." I left this church recently & the devastation of losing 95% of your community and being accused of going after the ways of Satan is truly horrific. The SA/CSA within this group is massive. There are thousands of stories to be told. I love the work you're doing, and listening to your channel helped open my eyes. ❤
❤
BOY does it ever resonate w/ me, that gift of affirmation, that leaving the abusive group, or even, interpersonal relationship, was 150% the right call.
Also, I just want to weigh in, about choosing to not stand your ground, during your dad’s exit voyage. As the offspring of a formerly pretty abusive dad, myself, we have to realize that, in some situations, there IS NO middle path option open to us. Sometimes we may choose to walk away from a moment, because the only choices which may be accessible to us in that moment, might be to go against our personal ethics and go full-bore berserker mode, and probably definitely do/say things we would later regret deeply, or to take a beat and just walk away when you need to do so.
I’m so deeply glad that you got to hear your dad say, “you’ve made it”, and that your dad got the chance to say it, bc of your courageous choice to come from a place of high integrity and emotional honesty.
I am really enjoying your interview and your energy, Calvin.
Shelise, you are resplendent as always. Thank you all (and crucial backstage teammates!) for your important work, and please remain awesome 💜⚡️
I loved Calvin's Linda Listen moment!
I agree that he's showing his children an alternative! They'll know they can leave and live differently.
Proud of him for choosing his happiness & giving others hope!
Hi Calvin, There's a phrase that I felt like you were circling in this entire interview...."living authentically." At least, that's what I call it. My decision-making patterns have completely changed since I discovered those words. Living authentically has changed who I am, what I do with my life, the conversations I've had, and even who I love. It's empowering, and I'm happier than I've ever been to discover my authentic self.
Yes! That’s exactly right-maybe used slightly differently wording but that’s exactly it. And my entire message too-live authenticity. That’s your source of life’s great adventure.
@officialcalvinwayman it truly is. Thanks for responding & I'm sending much authentic happiness and joy to you.
I visited SLC for a few days nearly 30 years ago, and I felt like it was a different planet! I still tell people how strange it was there.
Wow....Calvin, this is what it means to "do the work" - you've successfully faced so many demons, and the worst is behind you. Wishing you all the peace and potential joy to be manifested to you - that's the only way it happens. It's so worth doing! What an example for your kids. All good things to you.
It's a different planet just going from northern Salt Lake Valley to southern Salt Lake Valley. lol
Grew up in UT county. Yes, very accurate!
ESCAPE THE SCRIPT
Your explanation as to what it feels like when healing from a polygamist cult is really interesting to me since I too am going through situations sometimes which are challenging. Like for example when someone whom I have never met before or whom I have never been introduced to before was approching me on the same wide sidewalk along store fronts right after I passed by a couple of black men said to me, "Are you black now" or something like that before having a chance to smile again. At age 67 while only wanting to go home from a senior's meet up that only made me feel perplexed while I then was wondering what that young man was going through at the time. Maybe he was someone online who shared something on Facebook whom I had left a comment under. Because of the context not being any social media platform and because it seemed racist too I started wondering if I should after gettting home be blocking or unfriending anyone who looked a lot like him. Since I have a lot of relatives living here in the same city with a cousin or 2 who looks a lot like me what else am I to do when trying to stay safe?
"Jesus clothes" love that comment.
It’s not often I say this but I really needed to hear some of this today. Great video. I’m glad you had Calvin on again.
Glad it was helpful!
Fantastic episode
Love you guys!!! ❤
Calvin is super smart, he could be (and I hope he is) an excellent therapist. He gets it, he gets the psychology of it all. I hope we will hear much more of him.
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I'm loving that shirt Calvin!❤
Yeah, that IS an awesome shirt
What happened with your dad when you stood up to him, I think it's not only that your relationship was more honest. It's also that setting boundaries allows for respect on both sides. I've definitely had that experience with my parents. They were never physically violent but my upbringing was traditional in the sense that you didn't talk back to your parents and were definitely slightly afraid of them. When, as an adult, I managed to stand up for myself and expected to be treated as an equal, it took some time for them to adjust but our relationship improved tenfols. And my mum in turn learnt to set boundaries with her own parents 😂
My problem is that I was so restricted as a child and adolescent that I don't know what I like. If anyone has any advice on figuring this out please let me know
Just asking that question seems like a great place to start! Give yourself time and room to try different experiences. You'll find out what you like :)
Ah man! Now I'm doubly sad I had to work that day you all met up in Sugarhouse!
Also Shelise, Try the vanilla coffee from nestle, Also you don't have to have it strong, Most people ask why do i bother with that 1/3 or half strength coffee or they call it my milk water. 😂😀
Haha I swear I’ve tried all sorts of sweet coffee drinks. I can’t even enjoy tiramisu 🥲
@@CultstoConsciousnessit’s ok- some people are “super-tasters” and you just process the sense of taste way way more intensely than the average person. I’m in this group, as well. One thing I will say, is salting your coffee will cut the bitter taste, and for me, out of all the things I’ve tried, the most effective has been to find a nice French roast, and to just add honey and salt to taste, - oh, and to drink it hot. (But if matcha is your jam, that’s cool too)
@@CultstoConsciousness I have a really sweet tooth, when i first tried coffee when i was around 10yrs it was always too strong, In Australia we have weak blends and really strong blends, You have to find a blend you like, I grew up on a dairy farm so i like my coffee with milk no water, and two sugars, I need the sugar to cover up the bitter coffee taste or i won't be able to drink it.
For me Tea taste like dirty dish wash, I always have flavoured infusions like licorice or vanilla and rose.
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I completely understand wanting to have a closer relationship with my dad and not really getting it. Even at the end. While I was there at the end. I never got the chance to have the relationship I wanted to. And when he passed it was hard.
So sorry to hear that❤️
Great Chat, He is very personable and relaxed. 🙂
Calvin, you are a wise man, a good man, a beautiful child of God. Live your best life. It is complicated…this life on earth. 👍🏻💕
About the coffee thing, was the coffee you tried a dark coffee with no milk? If it was, maybe try it with milk. Dark coffee is really bitter, so all the coffee I drink is at least 90% milk.
Subscribed to your other channel!
47:59 So heartbreaking that he couldn’t be there when his dad died.
I love your show.
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How come you stopped uploading to Spotify? I miss being able to listen to episodes on the go. Please consider posting them on there again
I only drink coffee with lots of sweetener and cream. Only way to drink it and have it taste good in my opinion.
Shelise, if you can & want, you should do some videos about witchcraft, witched, stuff like that. Not newage if you know what i mean. Thats would be really interesting & also important. Anyway, THANK YOU ALWAYS FOR THIS CHANNEL I LOOOVEEEE THIS & THE GUESTS AND TAKE CARE ALWAYS YALLLL🩷🩷🩷
Can someone give me the backstory on the "Linda listen" moment? I love it but am a newer listener and dont know how it came about.
There's a video out there from 2016 I believe, of a little kid telling his mom "listen Linda, Linda listen" in a sassy way, it became a meme. You can probably still find the video.
There is a large amount of types of coffee
Is chocolate allowed to drink?
Religion should have nothing to do with family relationships. It is crazy that there are people who can only relate to or love their relatives if they share the same religion.
Can you do an episode on YWAM?
David Alexander said at least 400 schisms of lds????😮😮😮😮
Calvin ❤
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I don't understand what the confusion that resulted from Calvin's response of "Who am I to tell my 27-year-old what to do".
He explained that he would interrogate her motives and present his opinions but let them decide.
It's basically the same for adults that you don't know, you just have less access to them, so you have to condense your opinion of a better way of life or why their way is worse and let them decide.
If they decide to continue in what you consider the "wrong" way, you and the world with interact with their way and the aggregation of all the ways to live will decide which is the best for survival, not necessarily for happiness.
Im 99 % sure that Calvin is Sam Zitting Wyson's cousin. I think they have the same grandfather.
Is that the UA-camr Sam?? I think you’re right- someone else has mentioned that. And I am Zitting on my mom’s side!
@officialcalvinwayman Yes and it was me who mentioned moths ago, to him too. I believe you have the same grandfather or great grandfather? His channel is @GrowingupinPoligamy
@@officialcalvinwayman Sam Zitting's channel. youtube.com/@growingupinpolygamy?si=uiSYdGUx5lQEmRaP
2 seconds in and geez understand...
I know so many of your family from working for them, and being a distant relative. (Israel Barlows)
I have the same shirt as him lol
Wheres the cults to consciousnes clips channel??
youtube.com/@cultstoconsciousnessclips?si=D_gU9gJxH3QDCkTI
@CultstoConsciousness thank you shelise totally hooked on ur channel n wait on ur uploads ❤️ur an inspiration to every1 x
@CultstoConsciousness subscribed all motivations on can't get enough I'm from Dundee Scotland btw 😍
Shalise- I ❤your necklace!!!
At 1:12:00 yes, this!! Aligns with what John Dehlin hammers home about informed consent! ❤👍
Hey SHo hows mama world! wwwould love to here youre story as a mom who doesnt love pre and post babie hormones
The problem with most "fundamentalist" Christians is that I don't think their churches are anything like original New Testament churches.
With Mormonism, it was founded so much later, the fundamentalist seem to actually following the original founders more, in some ways at least.
❤d whole happy Dad...
I love his linda listen of Escape the script
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Hmm. Water again.....
❤d My Life
What protects the parts of your body the garments don't cover? Aren't those parts important? If your body is the temple of God why do you need garments?
It's your normal....like that old joke about two fish one going how do you like the water? Other answers what's water?...I