Best HFY Reddit Stories: Claiming Humans

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  • Опубліковано 25 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 74

  • @NathanBChampine
    @NathanBChampine Рік тому +258

    A human saying "Be careful what you wish for you just might get it. Just not the way you wanted it".

    • @ronald1416
      @ronald1416 Рік тому +38

      *just
      But the idea of your wish being twisted by a horny genie is entertaining.

    • @silverbutterfly1739
      @silverbutterfly1739 Рік тому +7

      ​@@ronald1416😂

    • @Burneth_
      @Burneth_ Рік тому +5

      ​@@ronald1416reminds me of: 433655, 331464 which are both genie related😂

    • @jmoneyjoshkinion4576
      @jmoneyjoshkinion4576 10 місяців тому

      ​@@Burneth_that I know where those numbers go, and that I am now curious... oh why not?

  • @nk_3332
    @nk_3332 Рік тому +187

    Xeno A: The Human Marine corps is the deadliest defensive force in the galaxy, they can fortify and hold any ground, even hyperspace.
    Xeno B: That's defensive, what's their offensive arm?
    Defeated Xeno chorus: Their lawyers.

    • @jordanbryan2612
      @jordanbryan2612 Рік тому +19

      sounds like the first contact series, the lawyers might be the scariest after daxon

    • @trenttrent2786
      @trenttrent2786 5 місяців тому +2

      Seems reasonable

  • @roaming_idiot1795
    @roaming_idiot1795 Рік тому +180

    Humans are now "space genies" now? Apparently, these xeno's never bothered to learn even the basics of humans before deciding to "conquer" us.

    • @DSilverio
      @DSilverio Рік тому +8

      Xenos: *Demand from a race of stoners an crazy people*
      Mankind: *proceeds to wreck things in a strange interpritation*

  • @naushadpunjani1071
    @naushadpunjani1071 Рік тому +49

    Malicious Compliance on Galactic level 😅

  • @AustralianGrizzly
    @AustralianGrizzly Рік тому +111

    You want our planet to take them? We have better ones
    You want our stars? Take the we have better ones.
    You want that people you can't have them, they're not ours to give. This is why, here are out laws, you can have them.

    • @Lantalia
      @Lantalia Рік тому +4

      Nitpick, the first one was space (aka, the sector) not planets

    • @AustralianGrizzly
      @AustralianGrizzly Рік тому +2

      @@Lantalia same thing but yeah.

    • @dadudeme
      @dadudeme Рік тому +2

      ​@@Lantaliayea you can have the sector. Give us some time to clean it out though.

    • @cluelesspotato8945
      @cluelesspotato8945 Рік тому

      Ah yes, space Mariel Boatlift

    • @imjang2430
      @imjang2430 Рік тому

      Solar engine is so nice

  • @emeralddragon2980
    @emeralddragon2980 Рік тому +109

    Empire: "Give us your territory and lives!"
    Humanity: "Eh, you can keep the dirt, we'll just leave."
    Federation: "Give us your life-sustaining gas balls!"
    Humanity: "Sure, and here's a complimentary middle finger to go along with them!"
    Slave traders: "Give us all your people so we can abuse you!"
    Humanity: "Good thing I have two middle fingers."

  • @biggsdarklighter0473
    @biggsdarklighter0473 Рік тому +104

    So, we get Alien nations being beaten due to us being concentrated on the Letter of the law, not the spirit of it.

    • @agoddamnferret
      @agoddamnferret Рік тому +16

      lol so malicious compliance lives on. I love it.

    • @imjang2430
      @imjang2430 Рік тому +4

      Yes malicious compliance is the death of your enemies

  • @williamfleming2918
    @williamfleming2918 5 місяців тому +2

    The authors notes at the end turned a clever story into a new favorite. "No, really, believe me."

  • @FutureMan420Blazer
    @FutureMan420Blazer 10 місяців тому +6

    "When we said we wanted your suns, we didnt mean it *_like that_*
    Humans: *Epic Troll Face*

  • @dalemorgan8263
    @dalemorgan8263 Рік тому +18

    We didn't _need_ any spy agencies to do any of that, this is just the _find out_ part of _fk around and find out._ Just remember you need to take notes for it to count as science.

    • @truekurayami
      @truekurayami Рік тому

      No we got to se the fk around part, the find out part were glossed over as "stories for another time".

  • @johnballard3403
    @johnballard3403 11 місяців тому +6

    Author's note 4: Seriously. Look at what they've declassified and then try telling me they're that competent.

  • @eleklovatka7666
    @eleklovatka7666 7 місяців тому +4

    X'D
    That "trust me bro" at the ending was perfect.

  • @zyanidwarfare5634
    @zyanidwarfare5634 Рік тому +10

    I mean… humans evolved from monkeys so if you make a vague wish your gunna get the monkeys paw…

  • @rat_king-
    @rat_king- Рік тому +21

    We have rules lawyers for a reason.

  • @ianpgmusicfanfictionart
    @ianpgmusicfanfictionart Рік тому +29

    The moment I read that it was a Empire I just thought of the Afghanis. And their mouths are watering and they’re chanting. I want to show these aliens why our country is called the graveyard of empires.

    • @truekurayami
      @truekurayami Рік тому +3

      Sadly that rep is more about your own empires than outside empires, happily though it is because of how many times tyrants had been deposed even without outside aid.

  • @BreadGuy01
    @BreadGuy01 Рік тому +15

    I do love me some malicious compliance!

  • @WintersTheSixth
    @WintersTheSixth Рік тому +13

    THE CIA REIGNS ETERNAL

    • @2XocraM
      @2XocraM Рік тому +2

      Nah! if it was the CIA it would've backfired at least once.

    • @albernard8751
      @albernard8751 6 місяців тому

      @@2XocraMthey merged the CIA with remnants of the KGB maybe even the STASI too that’s why it didn’t backfire. Those KGB bastards are seasoned veterans in their field and come up with crazy new and novel ways to kill someone quietly or make it look like an accident or both or neither. They’re sadists and insane for sure but they get the job done with ruthless efficiency and skill. Or the KGB taught the CIA a few tricks before the agents all passed on to whatever hell was waiting for them. Or heaven if they actually didn’t do much of anything wrong aside from espionage.

  • @johncunningham4820
    @johncunningham4820 10 місяців тому +3

    Didn't go in QUITE the direction I thought , however , comes down to the same thing . " Oh ! Really ? Did anyone discus this with the Humans first.......? "

  • @funster0691
    @funster0691 Рік тому +21

    This is fucking hilarious

  • @SteelTheTanuki
    @SteelTheTanuki 10 місяців тому +1

    Galactic scale malicious compliance.

  • @sweptxmans7575
    @sweptxmans7575 Місяць тому

    Getting hit with malicious compliance then essentially space cia is a horrible combination

  • @jamesha175
    @jamesha175 9 місяців тому +1

    "Kaiser Julius The Great, first of his name" ..... LOL

  • @victortahlor4038
    @victortahlor4038 Рік тому +2

    Thank you for the reading

  • @Sora-md1ye
    @Sora-md1ye 10 днів тому

    Good old Monkey's Paw. Screwing people over since 1902.

  • @adorablecockroach5131
    @adorablecockroach5131 10 місяців тому

    Humans have mastered the art of "malicious compliance" lol.

  • @Mihailo_Slavutsky
    @Mihailo_Slavutsky 4 місяці тому

    Finally some not stupid over cruel story.

  • @VooshSpokesman
    @VooshSpokesman Рік тому +3

    Love from a Vaush and SkyDieRayFan!

  • @comparatorclock
    @comparatorclock 10 місяців тому

    Mars calling for war out of the outset LMAO
    That's so Ancient Rome! 😂😂😂

  • @ender_slayer3
    @ender_slayer3 10 місяців тому

    Introducing entirely foreign or long dead concepts into alien cultures and governments and watching them implode is always amusing.

  • @shinraset
    @shinraset Рік тому

    We have the Kithoun empire claim friendship and equality with humanity.

  • @eliandervalderen5849
    @eliandervalderen5849 Рік тому

    Thomas says: don't you believe it

  • @noppornwongrassamee8941
    @noppornwongrassamee8941 9 місяців тому

    Demanding stars alone seems like a bad idea when it seems everyone has the ability to move them. If the militarily inferior humans can tow planets and stars around, it seems likely the alien empires can do the same.

  • @Deadone420
    @Deadone420 8 місяців тому

    With a leader like president warrior what did the xenos expect

  • @scullcrusher3981
    @scullcrusher3981 Рік тому +4

    Hi

  • @funster0691
    @funster0691 Рік тому +4

    Hahahaahahhaahahhaahhahah

  • @rolandosada8077
    @rolandosada8077 11 місяців тому

    Nice

  • @FeyTheBin
    @FeyTheBin Рік тому

    That Indian accent caught me off guard.

  • @The-one-who-drives
    @The-one-who-drives Рік тому +6

    Monarchists 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

    • @DasHeino2010
      @DasHeino2010 Рік тому +1

      Sounds like its time to teach some human history about slaves and monarchists! XD

    • @The-one-who-drives
      @The-one-who-drives Рік тому

      ​@@DasHeino2010???

    • @DasHeino2010
      @DasHeino2010 Рік тому

      @@The-one-who-drives Never turned out well...

  • @charliedulol
    @charliedulol Рік тому +1

    let me guess... this is also a different story?

    • @texasforever7887
      @texasforever7887 Рік тому

      Yes, most HFY stories are short stories that share a loose theme. There are a few that have multiple chapters, some over a hundred that you can find.

    • @charliedulol
      @charliedulol Рік тому

      @@texasforever7887 that is not what i meant

    • @imjang2430
      @imjang2430 Рік тому

      ​​@@charliedulolwell, your question is kinda very open to interpretation.
      The most obvious answer is the one you got.
      So, a little precision will go a long ways.
      [Unless the whole question was sarcastic]

    • @charliedulol
      @charliedulol Рік тому

      @@imjang2430 i do not think that counts as sarcastic no.
      Just questioning the story on if there is more to what it counts.

    • @imjang2430
      @imjang2430 Рік тому

      @@charliedulol You mean other chapters?

  • @SmolTerribleTornado
    @SmolTerribleTornado Рік тому +2

    third

  • @angelojuliano3545
    @angelojuliano3545 Рік тому +4

    First