Best HFY Reddit Stories: Child's Play (r/HFY)

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  • Опубліковано 22 лис 2024

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  • @nocount7517
    @nocount7517 3 роки тому +2476

    "Congratulations. You have just lost a war against children with a debilitating developmental disease." Get some aloe for that burn.

    • @ComfortsSpecter
      @ComfortsSpecter 3 роки тому +44

      Hit em harder then crack hit poor people in the eighties, calm down my dude

    • @ragnorockcookie2868
      @ragnorockcookie2868 3 роки тому +34

      Lol indeed

    • @Neobahamutfr36
      @Neobahamutfr36 3 роки тому +43

      Such burn can't be healed u.u

    • @sethmiller2532
      @sethmiller2532 3 роки тому +92

      Do you usually apply aloe to people who have been cremated? Because that's how bad of a burn that was.

    • @scurvofpcp
      @scurvofpcp 3 роки тому +41

      More like a broom, that burn left nothing but ash behind.

  • @thatguydownthestreat
    @thatguydownthestreat 3 роки тому +2629

    what I find especially hilarious, is that this makes the ENTIRE EARTH AND IT'S HISTORY basically an extended cut of Lord of the Flies

    • @Troleandocreyentes
      @Troleandocreyentes 3 роки тому +115

      Good damn.

    • @Jogeta5
      @Jogeta5 3 роки тому +172

      Oh wow...
      Then those who made it actually getting past the savagery and uniting only to be found and forced to live a life they no have control over.

    • @Troleandocreyentes
      @Troleandocreyentes 3 роки тому +29

      @@Jogeta5 feels bad

    • @takeandbakejake3271
      @takeandbakejake3271 3 роки тому +20

      Oh my gosh that's the best thing ever.

    • @fleurgymcheurgy9267
      @fleurgymcheurgy9267 3 роки тому +43

      @@Jogeta5 Really makes you think about the existing parallels of individuals irl who, through no fault of their own, find themselves no longer in control of their lives.

  • @theinsanebookworm
    @theinsanebookworm 3 роки тому +2090

    -Humanity bands together and expands into space: “Nice!”
    -Humanity defensively fights and dominates aggressive galactic neighbors: “Yeah!”
    -Humanity finds out we are actually descended from the most powerful galactic race and with a “treatment” could live millennia and develop psionic powers: “Fuck Yeah!”
    -They view us as their ill children and want to remove all Human autonomy and split us between alien families who “claim” us: “So, you have chosen ... Parricide.”

  • @Flannel-Channel8837
    @Flannel-Channel8837 3 роки тому +805

    I can imagine a humanitarian parent hugging a terran and them screaming "let go I am a grown ass man"

    • @engineer84-w8x
      @engineer84-w8x 2 роки тому +1

      would they even be able to take care of probably billions of (by their standards) inbred children at once?

    • @engineer84-w8x
      @engineer84-w8x Рік тому +22

      I just came up with a (possibly horrible) AU scenario
      Once upon a time, in a date somewhere in 2000 AD, Earth has become a dystopia ruled by an abusive goddess, who enjoys tormenting the humans for her own amusement. Despite this, the humans survived and adapted, developing magic of their own to combat the goddess and start making shelters to thrive and progress. One particularly powerful magician had his family killed by the goddess and in his rage, he plowed through her armies of supernatural beings, eventually arriving at her lair. They danced and danced, each getting more and more wounds, but the goddess slipped and fell onto the magician. She felt an excruciating pain in her backside and screamed, while below, the magician extended the plunger from his enchanted syringe and extracted the goddess's ichor from her form, turning her to a mere stone statue. The magician tossed the goddess's body aside to inspect the large, radiant syringe, now filled with a whole liter of fresh, glowing ichor. Outside, the beasts and shadow demons swiftly lost their blessings and became vulnerable once more, now in for an even more painful time now that the humans whom they once preyed upon now had magic rivaling even the mighty lords of hell.
      Present day, 2033 AD: humanity had leapt into the stars, expanding and reforming until it could no more, being sandwiched between rival alien empires. A reptilian race came from the galactic west, threatening to conquer the sector. The magician met their fleets at system G-9272, and crushed them with his ichor-enhanced power armor, piercing, bending and burning their ships until they drifted inert and defeated. The Humitarians came next after negotiations that were supposed to figure out how much humanity's territory would expand, claiming the human race as their children. The magician and the human fleet met the Humitarians at Tau Ceti, where everyone in the core worlds expected the humans to win, until the magician snapped his fingers and delivered an EMP and anti magic field to the entire human fleet, screaming into his communicator on all frequencies "I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH MONEY THE TERRAN REPUBLIC OFFERS I WANT MY CHILDHOOD BACK!" and then surrendering himself, his power armor, and the blueprints, tactics, battle plans, and cultural database of the entire Terran Republic to the Humitarians. The Terran Republic would soon be defeated and it's population assimilated and treated, while the magician would fall into his ancestor's grasp and that of his newfound siblings, able to enjoy the childhood he lost all those years ago. The only problem is that now whenever he goes to the local playground, he is invariably confronted with the very same people he betrayed, including the former Prime Minister of The Terran Republic.

    • @swimm8329
      @swimm8329 Рік тому +16

      @@engineer84-w8x That IS terrible. What a betrayal.

    • @Iluvantir
      @Iluvantir Рік тому +18

      Except that the "grown ass man" has a mental disorder (as per the story) so after treatment... likely it would be different. Memories would remain, but we'd "feel" our correct age in comparison to our new "parental guardians". It's a very interesting concept for a story, and one that neatly explains just why we're so childishly and foolishly hyper violent with each other. The fact that we're children from a hyper evolved advanced race explains our innate intelligence, but our actions? Mentally disturbed children.
      I like it. Plus, no responsibilities for another, what... 100 years? Sounds good to me! More time to play Skyrim!

    • @Medorcrit
      @Medorcrit Рік тому +3

      Reminds me of my toddler screaming at me she is a big girl and doesn't need my help

  • @thorn344
    @thorn344 3 роки тому +1068

    Man, the humanitarians are gonna learn just how brutal their "little ones" have become. Who wants to bet on their chances in Vietnam?

    • @matthewdeamon9554
      @matthewdeamon9554 3 роки тому +80

      I say 1/3 is occupied not peaceful and imagine the battles on the Americas and having to fight the wild life

    • @thorn344
      @thorn344 3 роки тому +152

      I bet it'll come down to a standoff where humanity has its nukes primed to wipe themselves from the face of the galaxy. Possibly a few colonies make their powerplants go boom just to spite the humanitarians. Hell the fact that humans are literally their children has endless possibilities for psychological warfare.

    • @matthewdeamon9554
      @matthewdeamon9554 3 роки тому +105

      @@thorn344 make them learn about gas and chemical weapons used in our self's and make the proclamation that we will die before we give in

    • @thorn344
      @thorn344 3 роки тому +84

      @@matthewdeamon9554
      Oooooohhh I hadn't even thought of that!
      I do feel kinda bad for the first of them that has to kill what's literally a developmentally challenged child though.

    • @matthewdeamon9554
      @matthewdeamon9554 3 роки тому +32

      @@thorn344 an it's their faults

  • @maramackenzie-mann
    @maramackenzie-mann 3 роки тому +1325

    Can you imagine being the parents who adopt the entirety of Russia? Or Scotland? Or the US?
    I'd like to see 'em try to 'look after' them.

    • @aronnemcsik
      @aronnemcsik 3 роки тому +254

      Can you imagine the one who looks after Russia just trying to stop them drinking Vodka and fighting with bears after getting drunk?

    • @edwardoliver7610
      @edwardoliver7610 3 роки тому +128

      Truely an effort in futility

    • @dreadedpixel9022
      @dreadedpixel9022 3 роки тому +61

      @@aronnemcsik means while americans keep trying to shoot there parents and yelling about having there jobs taken from them

    • @aronnemcsik
      @aronnemcsik 3 роки тому +74

      @@dreadedpixel9022 and complaining how difficult their life is

    • @dreadedpixel9022
      @dreadedpixel9022 3 роки тому +105

      @@aronnemcsik as an american I am disgusted to say how accurate that is

  • @Gardelain
    @Gardelain 3 роки тому +201

    So they not only do blood testing without consent and attempt to forcibly adopt humans, but they also took credit for the war *and* took over the terms of surrender with the intent to be harder on the Ruagari?
    Well, I for one welcome our new lizard brethren. Blood of the covenant and all that.

    • @vodamiinurl1337
      @vodamiinurl1337 Рік тому

      Yeah like an army of terrorist child soldiers wasn't going to be enough of a handful. The mind of a child is a fascinatingly vibrant imagination.

    • @theengagedfew
      @theengagedfew 11 місяців тому +15

      I'm seeing an "unlikely alliance" in the making.

  • @EloquentTroll
    @EloquentTroll 3 роки тому +551

    I'd consider the cure, but by no means am I getting carted of to be treated as a child. 18 years was enough for me.

    • @gametrooperjames8246
      @gametrooperjames8246 3 роки тому +62

      I mean...you wouldn't have to worry about adult troubles for a few good centuries at least.

    • @mooncake387
      @mooncake387 3 роки тому +28

      id take the cure and want to be treated like a kid, paying bills is the worst

    • @Verboten_Joey
      @Verboten_Joey 3 роки тому +31

      @@mooncake387 Eh, being an adult is easier. Work is less tiring and frustrating than school. Don't have to tolerate abusive adults.

    • @theirishviking9278
      @theirishviking9278 3 роки тому +16

      @@Verboten_Joey its not the work or schools that are the issue
      its the bills

    • @mr.gaster1310
      @mr.gaster1310 3 роки тому +38

      Honestly, getting to be psionic, 12 feet tall and basically immortal sounds awesome, but the condescension and removal of free will makes it iffy

  • @lamer5799
    @lamer5799 3 роки тому +470

    The Humitarian argument just doesn't hold any weight or water. By this point the Terrans would more than likely have speciated, meaning they could never functionally reproduce with a Humitarian so they can not integrate into their society. Along with the fact that if you go back just 10 generations everyone starts sharing relatives so the bloodlines would be impossible to determine and that law could never be properly enforced because every Terran will be related to all 1,000 lost Humitarian children. Also the Terrans would have 200,000 years of archeological evidence to back up "We're a different species now, Fuck off."

    • @birgaripadam7112
      @birgaripadam7112 3 роки тому +12

      bro it is a short story
      it does not need a accuret scienc to function

    • @AB-ln2py
      @AB-ln2py 3 роки тому +89

      @@birgaripadam7112 The story hits hard on our core ideals... hence people get agitated by the idea.

    • @nullpoint3346
      @nullpoint3346 3 роки тому +2

      Wrong thread

    • @gabrielandradeferraz386
      @gabrielandradeferraz386 3 роки тому +30

      @@birgaripadam7112 but it does need it to be any good. also it doesn't function for me. at that point its so innacurate the humans might as well have 6 arms and walk upside down.

    • @birgaripadam7112
      @birgaripadam7112 3 роки тому +1

      @@gabrielandradeferraz386 well that's a good point

  • @HalfTangible
    @HalfTangible 3 роки тому +272

    "WE CAN'T START A WAR WITH CHILDREN!!"
    "Haha psionics go whiiiiiir"

    • @spencersholden
      @spencersholden 10 місяців тому

      The hypocrisy! Oh it makes so happy. No better than the ones that attacked humanity that the peace talks were meant for.

  • @latemanparodius5133
    @latemanparodius5133 3 роки тому +622

    Even if they did succeed in capturing and treating humanity, all they would be doing is allowing a rebel force to grow inside their civilization. Humanity would remember, learn their technology, then use it upon their captors once the time is right. Even if it would take what would once have been generations, the extended life span would make the original combatants live to see the rebellion.

    • @dannybryant1114
      @dannybryant1114 3 роки тому +93

      And they want to give us psychic abilities its like they are trying to die

    • @Self-replicating_whatnot
      @Self-replicating_whatnot 3 роки тому +61

      @@dannybryant1114 Psychics too, ouch. Humitarians will probably stop this bullshit and start apologizing as soon as the first batch of humans is processed and therefore gains an ability to give them a piece of their mind as to how much they appreciate being treated like kids. Noone would want 7 billions of angry minds runing around in your cilization causing havoc.

    • @inasapostle13thapostleofthe12
      @inasapostle13thapostleofthe12 3 роки тому +47

      @@Self-replicating_whatnot Would be far beyond 7 billion as its stated in the beginning that they HEAVILY colonised their entire cluster
      So yeah the Humitarians will realize their mistake sooner or later xD

    • @inasapostle13thapostleofthe12
      @inasapostle13thapostleofthe12 3 роки тому +20

      In other words:
      "Lets play Xenomorphs!"

    • @condorboss3339
      @condorboss3339 3 роки тому +48

      @@dannybryant1114 There is one critical problem with their psionics: To use those abilities would open them to our emotions. The Humitarians are going to be bombarded with hatred that would make the most rebellious teenager we know seem as tame as a kitten. Some humans might like to be dependent, but _being forced_ to be dependent is another matter.

  • @lewisbarclay9113
    @lewisbarclay9113 3 роки тому +150

    "Congratulations. You have just lost a war against children with a debilitating developmental disease."
    "Congratulations. Your 'about' to lose a war against children with a debilitating developmental disease."

    • @ravenouself4181
      @ravenouself4181 5 місяців тому +1

      Xenos just never learn... *loads tripple galaxy buster* anyways.

  • @stalwartteakettlepotato9879
    @stalwartteakettlepotato9879 3 роки тому +542

    This situation is pretty terrifying. Imagin a 12 feet tall version of humanity that's better in every way just arives one day and tells us that by their standard we are all children and thus have to be returned to random families we have some distant relation too

    • @inmassalone
      @inmassalone 3 роки тому +61

      I don't know about you but I would be very happy with that. It would be nice to have a loving family give a shit.

    • @stalwartteakettlepotato9879
      @stalwartteakettlepotato9879 3 роки тому +92

      @@inmassalone who said they are loving?

    • @CS-pe5uz
      @CS-pe5uz 3 роки тому +71

      I’m worried about the families that would be torn apart. How would custody work in that case? What happens if you find out you related to a psycho and now have to live with them?

    • @Jogeta5
      @Jogeta5 3 роки тому +99

      @@inmassalone
      Except this isn't Humitarians finding humanity in the early 21st century, this is the post-scarcity Star Trek-like Terran Republic. Those people are living in a fantastic future from our current point of view. Humitarians just deciding to ignore the Terrans request doesn't bode well for caring about their autonomy.

    • @sgtwarford
      @sgtwarford 3 роки тому +26

      I agree, terrifying.
      I suspect will need to self exterminate to avoid the horrors of... the adult's...

  • @123domo8
    @123domo8 3 роки тому +521

    Step 1 get to space, step 2 become major power, step 3 find out your a child and lose everything when the adults show up

    • @CS-pe5uz
      @CS-pe5uz 3 роки тому +106

      The level of depression and anxiety skyrocket

    • @edwardoliver7610
      @edwardoliver7610 3 роки тому +121

      Step 4 realizes that you probably have to go back to school.

    • @CS-pe5uz
      @CS-pe5uz 3 роки тому +71

      @@edwardoliver7610 and so the death toll rose

    • @KertaDrake
      @KertaDrake 3 роки тому +107

      @@CS-pe5uz Breaking news: Thousands of alien schools destroyed in daring nighttime raids by human special forces operations and redirected asteroids. When asked about the operation, the human leadership stated "No way in hell we're going back to high school politics. No one deserves that."

    • @alexs5814
      @alexs5814 3 роки тому +61

      Step 4:
      Get ontop a Teenage Temper Tantrum, disown your parents and flee to live in the basement of the pothead friend down the road.

  • @rodon265
    @rodon265 3 роки тому +443

    this ending is kind of messed up.
    But just imagine the fallout of this.
    The resentment for the sheer condescension will likely never die out.
    Eventually, some day, once humanity has absorbed all the knowledge the humanitarians have to offer... all heal breaks lose.
    "you thought you could take our everything from us? our history, our achievements, our identity? well then, here is our curse."

    • @mr.k4918
      @mr.k4918 3 роки тому +42

      knowlage of florida and russia

    • @iglidor
      @iglidor 3 роки тому +15

      Or not. Part of the story is that even humanity was capable of changing their nature to such degree that they could set aside their differences and become united. Humitarians sounds quite capable of doing that too, especialy if there would be obvious and personal benefits for everyone (psychic abilities, long lives without problems of aging etc.)

    • @rodon265
      @rodon265 3 роки тому +54

      @@iglidor yeah, get that.
      And if they just asked i am sure a huge chunk of humanity would say "hell yes".
      Some because cool tech and psychic powers, while rest... actually if you look at CURRENT DAY, they there is literally an epidemic of never grownups, so they would too accept being treated as children.
      Then there are poeple who gave it their all, blood sweat and tears and al of the sacrifices one had to make... only to be visited by some self righteous OLUTSIDER deciding to "adopt" them, and telling them that all of their achievements... are nothing. just like making castles in the sand pit... it gotta sting. and to many, that would just be too big of a blow.
      So unless the humanitarians realise what shit their stepped on, and ACTUALY PAY ATTENTION tot heir new charges, there is gonna be a lot of terrorism some time in the future.
      And to prevent that, they would likely need to use their telepathic power, which would be an infringement on the "sanctity of mind", which in itself would raise some ethics concerns.
      Even if their sort it out, still reckless and gonna take a while.
      Also, if I remember the story correctly, one of them said "while our children might be forgiving, you will find that we are not", or something around that. Chances are, they are so used to being at the top they no longer understand the "lesser" races. They don't "respect" strife and struggle.

    • @Abornarazine
      @Abornarazine 2 роки тому +7

      This us like saying your 3 yearold is a master planner. Literally humanity will grow up, have an arbitrary teenage rebellion, only to become their parents.

    • @rodon265
      @rodon265 2 роки тому +30

      @@Abornarazine
      And again, if they made it an offer, I'm sure a lot would agree, and there would be nothing wrong with it. But that is not what happened.
      They simply declared they are going to adopt everyone, without question.
      Difference between your example of a 3yo, is that a 3yo cannot even take care of themselves and survive, meanwhile humanity, even if far below their eventual potential, had adapted and became self sufficient, on top of being hundreds of generations removed.
      For psychology there is no "one size fits all", yet they decided to deal with everyone as if they were children. they do not take into account the actual mental state of those they want to impose their authority over.
      Its how they go about it that is the problem.
      The sheer lack of consideration for the individual.

  • @user-dy3jr9we7d
    @user-dy3jr9we7d 3 роки тому +458

    Imagine how shitty that section of galaxy must feel. They are playing second fiddle to a bunch of sick children.

    • @AB-ln2py
      @AB-ln2py 3 роки тому +67

      Not really... the sick children were the beggining, Then evolution started... there are no more children here.
      And to claim possesion over US ? over what is OURS ?

    • @morephalynx742
      @morephalynx742 3 роки тому +47

      @@AB-ln2py we shall not go quietly back to the cradle. We earned our own way

    • @iamgroobs9377
      @iamgroobs9377 3 роки тому +14

      @@morephalynx742 words said by every rebellious teen to their parents everywhere.

    • @morephalynx742
      @morephalynx742 3 роки тому +8

      @@iamgroobs9377 in different form a lot of people have said it.

    • @mutehowl
      @mutehowl 3 роки тому +2

      @@morephalynx742 more like mental asylums for the criminally insane. They are psionics they can read the "little ones" minds and the fact that they can read minds means they know how terrans think it is degrading to call them that and still decide to call them little ones means they are psionic buttheads.

  • @crowsenpai5625
    @crowsenpai5625 3 роки тому +458

    Terans “YOURE NOT MY DAD”
    *Fires MAC Round*

    • @elijahaitaok8624
      @elijahaitaok8624 3 роки тому +75

      “Terran get out of the dreadnought!

    • @I_dont_know_whats_happening-E
      @I_dont_know_whats_happening-E 2 роки тому +54

      @@elijahaitaok8624 "NO!"

    • @britishbluenekochan
      @britishbluenekochan 2 роки тому +40

      @@elijahaitaok8624 "I am the dreadnought. Because even in death I still serve."

    • @joaquincobas2223
      @joaquincobas2223 2 роки тому +26

      ​@@britishbluenekochan "I am your great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather get out of the dreadnought"

    • @SSGTWinters
      @SSGTWinters 2 роки тому +16

      @@joaquincobas2223 "allow me to retort" *fires a planet sized MAC round.*

  • @davidthorp01
    @davidthorp01 3 роки тому +359

    See, their first mistake was not being cordial about it.
    Their second was to not immediately offer up treatment and allow these people to decide their own fates. They are millennia separated, by our own measure this alone accounts for over 40,000 years. For them that may be as little as 10 bare minimum generations, is an entire civilization’s history. They are a separate people to you, they have a separate standard, power, and strengths. And the fact that Psionics affect us so little renders their entire Psionics force basically useless at range. And I’m sure we would develop countermeasures.
    To put it bluntly, they don’t have enough rope.

    • @nathanhingson7048
      @nathanhingson7048 3 роки тому +53

      i would like to add that going at it blunt force "make them grow up" approach would be disastrous from their side as well, i mean think about going back to your country/nation/etc. and saying "alright to secure these long distant and separate children we fought a war against them where they fought us tooth and nail with everything they had and uh... well the death toll hasn't been fully counted yet" or if your military action was to take everyone as prisoners then how horrible is that gonna be for your own forces to carry out? hell of a mess for these guys coming in with the what we say goes attitude.

    • @davidthorp01
      @davidthorp01 3 роки тому +62

      @@nathanhingson7048 Oh yea, that’s a PR nightmare waiting to happen. It also follows a very poor line of logic, if you hurt them, or worse Kill loads of them; they would be openly admitting to infanticide by their own people’s metric. Indeed, there’s a lackluster amount of maturity involved here on their part.
      What would be more embarrassing is if they LOSE any engagements. Or successive engagements. It would be something they would forever try to scrub from their history; “We attempted to take back a nation made of children only to be bested by them at the Battle of XXXXX where we lost the whole of our 1st Psionic Battle Fleet and the Battleship _Fortitude_ was laid low by a contingent of parasite fighters which detonated charges on the Hull, splitting it in two.” Or something similar, would read poorly for their Government and its people.

    • @maramackenzie-mann
      @maramackenzie-mann 3 роки тому +32

      @@davidthorp01 If they read up on Humanity's history they might be more trepidatious. These 'children' have long since mastered the art of killing. We have murderers as young as 10. We will fight to the last breath for what we want and right now we want these big alien fuckers to leave us the fuck alone, please and thank you.

    • @Caercutta30
      @Caercutta30 3 роки тому +3

      Hard head makes a soft ass Davey. You'd best be home by the time streetlamps come on!

    • @gametrooperjames8246
      @gametrooperjames8246 3 роки тому +10

      On the other hand, if we'd go with them, we won't have to worry about adult troubles again for about a few centuries.

  • @Troleandocreyentes
    @Troleandocreyentes 3 роки тому +470

    Imagine the next scenario:
    Humitarian soldier in one of the human colony planets. He thinks this has being harder that he expects in two months they have only capture a 1/5 of the children they expected. This little ones are really sneaky.
    He walks in in one of the streets, he is making a recognition of the area, the street is empty exept for a few mannequins, he smiles the little ones think they can trick him, then he spot one, this is a specially small one with a gun in his hands.
    The little one shot at him a few times with a primitive kinetic gun. The proyectiles are deflected and the soldier, disarm the little one with a non letal shock, from his gun.
    He approach and the little one begins to sob.
    He doubts for one second and put down his gun: come one little one, come with me I don’t want to hurt you.
    He makes a quick read, but nothing: what?
    Then he feel it and excruciating pain in his mind. He falls to the floor, his nose bleeds, just like his eyes, and ears.
    Before he dies he looks at the little one, a little girl, taking a small communication device from her pocket and say:
    The high command, here soldier X-667/epsilon psionic shields, and the neuro-grenades are fully operational I repeat the psionic shields, and the neuro-grenades are fully operational.

    • @Nizati
      @Nizati 3 роки тому +100

      Children among humans can be friggen terrifying. I can only imagine how much of a nightmare all of humanity can be to Humaniterrans.

    • @cgi2002
      @cgi2002 3 роки тому +41

      I like this concept of "technology disabling weapons", hard to disable a chemically accelerated peice of metal or a fully mechnical nuclear explosive, we mastered both long ago.

    • @andyknolls8735
      @andyknolls8735 Рік тому +9

      I don't think their psionics work on memes and sh!t posting!

    • @ashleycroydon9743
      @ashleycroydon9743 Рік тому +2

      For a second I thought Alma from fear 😅 that's one lil kid I'd never wanna meet

    • @earlenriquez810
      @earlenriquez810 Рік тому +3

      ... they've deployed the first "Culexus" soldier aka: Blanks/Pariahs

  • @troyfabrizius9942
    @troyfabrizius9942 3 роки тому +427

    humanitarians are gonna learn the meaning of they're in the trees

    • @kyriss12
      @kyriss12 3 роки тому +98

      The snow drifts speak Finnish, the bushes speak Vietnamese and the sand dunes speak Arabic.

    • @loganb7059
      @loganb7059 3 роки тому +80

      @@kyriss12 And the store roofs speak korean

    • @maramackenzie-mann
      @maramackenzie-mann 3 роки тому +52

      The highlands shriek in Scots Gaelic, the jungle whispers in Brazilian, the mountains echo in Italian.

    • @alicengreen1707
      @alicengreen1707 3 роки тому +37

      The Mississippi Headwaters speak in Ojibwe

    • @KertaDrake
      @KertaDrake 3 роки тому +21

      "WOLVERINES!"

  • @tanyavillegas7519
    @tanyavillegas7519 3 роки тому +92

    Pov: you get kidnapped while in your room and given to a random family who cry like you're their child because you share a small amount of DNA together and as they talk about entering you to school you feel like crying as you already finished school, you don't want to go through that again

    • @kingjonstarkgeryan8573
      @kingjonstarkgeryan8573 2 роки тому +1

      Honestly you can just kill me rather than force me to go back to high school.
      Death is clearly the preferable alternative to high school.

    • @TechnoSpectre3
      @TechnoSpectre3 Рік тому +20

      And you show up to school and people say, "Who's the ugly wrinkly kid?", while you just look around at a crowd of 6-foot-tall 6-year-olds.

    • @nathanespindle6717
      @nathanespindle6717 Рік тому +2

      @@TechnoSpectre3 🤣🤣🤣

    • @dark_wolf1092
      @dark_wolf1092 Рік тому +20

      @TechnoSpectre3 the parents of those 6 ft tall 6 year olds start getting calls from law enforcement that all their children were killed by the new "kid" in class.

    • @kingjonstarkgeryan8573
      @kingjonstarkgeryan8573 5 місяців тому +1

      FUCK THAT SHIT!!!! I AIN'T GOING THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL AGAIN!!!!

  • @Caercutta30
    @Caercutta30 3 роки тому +169

    This would be a perfect origin story for the Galactic Kids Next Door.

    • @KertaDrake
      @KertaDrake 3 роки тому +33

      The one thing that could unify the age-based factions of humanity... finding out we're all still kids and the real adults are out there and are coming to crash the party.

  • @iarusgoldleaf796
    @iarusgoldleaf796 3 роки тому +83

    “All the achievements of the Terran republic. All the outstanding feats of industry, organization and military prowess... in the end we’re all just childs play” that had to hit the other delegation hard.

  • @Tiragron99
    @Tiragron99 3 роки тому +345

    Hmmmm, I wonder how bad things would get when they find out that essentially every single Human is related to all others?

    • @KertaDrake
      @KertaDrake 3 роки тому +114

      Might be fun to unleash the lawyers on the situation. Turn it into such a legal tangle that no one of them can claim priority and then subtly turn them against each other over parental rights until it turns into a civil war.

    • @sitirabihahmaisarahreni4278
      @sitirabihahmaisarahreni4278 3 роки тому +16

      *GUFFAW*

    • @nickolaswilcox425
      @nickolaswilcox425 3 роки тому +38

      sounds like they already figured that out from the genetic tests, a small population tends to create one hell of a bottleneck

    • @mattdombrowski8435
      @mattdombrowski8435 3 роки тому +50

      Fun fact, the human population was reduced to a couple thousand during one of the great global catastrophes before recorded history. As a result, there is more genetic diversity in an average troop of chimps than the entirety of the human species

    • @nickolaswilcox425
      @nickolaswilcox425 3 роки тому +30

      @@mattdombrowski8435 yup, its the reason inbreeding is so much of a bigger issue with humans than in almost any other species, the wiggle room for possible benefits that exists in a lot of other species has already been removed almost entirely for us

  • @SerunaXI
    @SerunaXI 3 роки тому +215

    So, of course humanity is so rebellious, we still young.

  • @PrepCookDemon
    @PrepCookDemon 3 роки тому +132

    I can easily see a situation where humanity will go "death before slavery" and off themselves or absolutly find a way to bring the humitarians to their knees, maybe not defeat but completely ruin their standing in the galaxy.

    • @alexejvecera6317
      @alexejvecera6317 3 роки тому +1

      Maybe we find some sentient gas clouds give them metal bodies and hurl them at the xenos

    • @craftysmithkeith3653
      @craftysmithkeith3653 2 роки тому

      Sneak a couple terrans behind enemy lines as children and have them set off nukes, nova bombs, and other high yield explosives in and around humitarian population centers and military installations keep doing it until they surrender or until there’s no more left

    • @manjoring5944
      @manjoring5944 2 роки тому

      Humans oh no you landed with a whole army would be ashame we if just nuke it to hell

  • @D.Holliday112
    @D.Holliday112 3 роки тому +187

    Yeah. The Terran republic would totally be like "Oh? We're decedents of your long lost children with a disease? Sure! We'll be more than happy to give everything up that we have achieved, fought for, died for, and strived towards to become part of your empire!"
    NOT. The Humanitarians will be quite shocked when they arrived to 'claim' us and are meet with the full force of the Terran fleets. Sure, some humans will be glad to give it all up and go 'home', but most of us would say "F*ck no" and "F*ck you". We human's have lived this way since we started recording our history. We thrived on a world that is hostile to life that can't adapt quickly enough. We founded civilizations and empires! We may be their lost children, but we have grown on our own in our own way. Many will not be happy to give that up.
    They had the chance to look for us but gave up. We are our own people now. Try to take that from us at your own risk.

    • @Theakboyy
      @Theakboyy 3 роки тому +30

      And if all else fails species wide self termination is as liberty prime would say a preferable alternative to communism or in this case becoming the equivalent of mentally handicapped grandchildren

    • @Preaplanes
      @Preaplanes 3 роки тому +8

      I dunno man, I think I'd join them. Though I'd definitely figuratively be the kid who wants a red rider BB gun whose parents say will shot his eye out. I mean, mine would probably be chambered in .308 lapua, but still.

    • @happy_amoeba
      @happy_amoeba 2 роки тому +18

      I mean, I'd go and get the treatment for the disease, maybe have some communication with the Humanitariens I somehow am related to, MAYBE visit every once in a while, but give everything up to become part of their empire? F-- NO!

    • @extended_e
      @extended_e 2 роки тому +1

      @@happy_amoeba yeah as many have pointed out, forcegull integration and removal of autonomy for hundreds of years would in long term create repel group that is ready for any atrocities, it could bring down whole 'humanitarian' civilization. It is time bomb in unimaginable level. And stupid too as they just need to give cure freely for whole humanity in volunteer basis and then unite ppl whit 10000 year + relatives in volunteer basis and majority of humans would be happy with that. I would be happy to sacrifice some 20 years(even 200 years) of going meet new relatives for 2mil lifespan, but removing autonomy would result blood bath way or another.

    • @ThW5
      @ThW5 2 роки тому +13

      The problem is just that the doc and the diplomats, clearly had insufficient training to handle the fragile psyche of terminally ill prematurely sexually matured infants, child and xeno psychiatrists will create an adequate protocol and all will be right...

  • @Zakvadr1995
    @Zakvadr1995 3 роки тому +175

    This went from Humans can kick ass to Home Alone in Space real quick.

    • @Bacchasnail
      @Bacchasnail 2 роки тому +26

      Home alone but someone gave Kevin a large amount of .50 cals

    • @engineer84-w8x
      @engineer84-w8x Рік тому

      @@Bacchasnail Home Alone but with 1.7 trillion inbred Kevins and Kevinas with their own navy.

    • @asimplehuman982
      @asimplehuman982 Рік тому +10

      ​@@Bacchasnailmore of 320mm cannon shells

  • @LittleRaAnime
    @LittleRaAnime 3 роки тому +51

    was expecting some kind of "You can try, but the only thing you'll win is our dead bodies."

  • @yyflame
    @yyflame 3 роки тому +77

    Meanwhile in the Himalayan mountains....
    “Hu-hu-humanitarian? I, I, I have no idea what you’re talking about! I’m just a 20ft tall psychic functionally immortal human just like anybody else! I’m no zenos, I was made right here on earth by shaman or something like that..” ~The not yet emperor of mankind

    • @guardianofthetoasters2323
      @guardianofthetoasters2323 Рік тому +1

      wait.... oh.... oh that would be a very nice origin story. Big e is just basically humitarian looking after the children

    • @demon_xd_
      @demon_xd_ Рік тому +14

      Dang it, now you made me think of the humitarians as eldar: kinda humanoid but tall and arrogant

    • @vodamiinurl1337
      @vodamiinurl1337 Рік тому +6

      Praise be the Omnisiah!

    • @spencersholden
      @spencersholden 10 місяців тому +4

      All praise the man emperor of mankind

    • @benjamincasatimcintosh2918
      @benjamincasatimcintosh2918 7 місяців тому +1

      Humanitarians about to learn the definition of attrition

  • @juliantuwim3552
    @juliantuwim3552 3 роки тому +159

    You can't be charget witch using child soldiers accusation If all armiess are made of childrens

    • @juliantuwim3552
      @juliantuwim3552 3 роки тому +40

      Btw Humanitarians will totally surander I meen if someone told me that I need to fight race of disable kids I would totally nope out of this situation

    • @Troleandocreyentes
      @Troleandocreyentes 3 роки тому +43

      Imagine being the rugari embasador returning to his planet and their leaders asking how did it go?
      Embasador: Well aparently we comit war crimes.
      Leaders: what?
      Embasador: we kill so many children.
      Leaders: WHAT!!!!!!????
      Embasador: aparently we kill a shit ton of terminaly ill children.
      Leaders: WHAT!!!!!!
      Embasador: yeah... please take a seat this is gonna get weird.
      Shil vanti embasador in the other room hearing the story: ARA ARA.

    • @juliantuwim3552
      @juliantuwim3552 3 роки тому +16

      @@Troleandocreyentes more like
      Shil'vati:(chuckle) i'm on danger

    • @yeetboi3286
      @yeetboi3286 3 роки тому

      i dont want to be an asshole but your spelling felt all over the place

    • @jayeisenhardt1337
      @jayeisenhardt1337 Рік тому +5

      @@juliantuwim3552 "fight race of disable kids I would totally nope out of this situation"
      You see, that's because you are Human. You have humanity. They. . . don't.
      They already declared war on their own kids.

  • @Mr.Redink
    @Mr.Redink 3 роки тому +96

    Imagine being a child for 100 years, and
    A teenager for 80 years.
    Just imagine the absolute level of shitposting they must be on?

    • @MachineMan-mj4gj
      @MachineMan-mj4gj 2 роки тому +2

      Space 4chan is a cognitiohazard not even the SCP Foundation wants to deal with.

    • @whiterabbit75
      @whiterabbit75 11 місяців тому +7

      Imagine going through puberty over the course of several decades.

    • @Mr.Redink
      @Mr.Redink 11 місяців тому +4

      @@whiterabbit75 absolute hell

    • @CHRF-55457
      @CHRF-55457 5 місяців тому

      Well hell yes. Don't know what yall are complaining about, but becoming a child again with that much free time? And zero responsibilities? Hell yeah.

  • @shosroy
    @shosroy 3 роки тому +310

    Damn. That was unexpected. Humanitarians...fuck yeah? It’s also really weird to think that our entire lives would just be the developmental stages for another sentient being.

    • @aronnemcsik
      @aronnemcsik 3 роки тому +7

      It's Humitrians...

    • @aslightidiot
      @aslightidiot 3 роки тому +6

      @@aronnemcsik It's Humitarians...

    • @aronnemcsik
      @aronnemcsik 3 роки тому +1

      @@aslightidiot oh yeah sorry. Misspelled it

    • @kyriss12
      @kyriss12 3 роки тому +3

      Larry Nivin did something similar with the Pax Protectors.

    • @CertifiedRookAppreciator
      @CertifiedRookAppreciator 3 роки тому +12

      A bunch of toddlers with downs syndrome, armed with bows and arrows, defeated one of the most powerful armies in the local galaxy... Then threw a hissy fit at getting shots XD
      Tbh i'd happily go live with the aliens, they sound cool

  • @Troleandocreyentes
    @Troleandocreyentes 3 роки тому +154

    Imagine from human perspective.
    Remember that hospital ship full of kids with progeria that we loose a few millenia ago.
    yes?
    They became a space faring race.

    • @Sharkakaka
      @Sharkakaka 2 роки тому +1

      More like "Remember that hospital ship full of sick kids with Dawn syndrome that disappeared some years ago?
      "Yeah."
      "We found their descendants using torn clothing, pointy sticks and bows and they are claiming they are an independent country now."

    • @andyknolls8735
      @andyknolls8735 Рік тому +1

      so we are space retards!
      Always fear weaponized autism!
      Something crazy is about to come their way.

    • @andrewkonkle5447
      @andrewkonkle5447 Рік тому +1

      So in real terms we are retarded space babies.

  • @DeinocheirusWithAGun
    @DeinocheirusWithAGun 3 роки тому +127

    just send the russians and florida citizens and lets see who does something crazy

    • @TPixelAdventures
      @TPixelAdventures 3 роки тому +42

      Newflash!
      "Florida man destroys entire Humi battlecruiser while high on drugs. Somehow survives via escape pod."
      "Russian grandmother subjugates Humi platoon. No one knows why or how."

    • @elijahaitaok8624
      @elijahaitaok8624 3 роки тому +12

      @@TPixelAdventures I can see it now, the babushka set an elaborate trap using a hammer, a Soviet era Diesel engine, 4 litres of home brew vodka, 29 kilos of potatoes, and a rusty bfg-1.

    • @TPixelAdventures
      @TPixelAdventures 3 роки тому +10

      @@elijahaitaok8624 or you know...she just sat them down for supper. They have never left her house since.

    • @elijahaitaok8624
      @elijahaitaok8624 3 роки тому +3

      @@TPixelAdventures why not both?

    • @extended_e
      @extended_e 2 роки тому +4

      @@elijahaitaok8624 babushka are interesting beings, most of time wonderful beings, often just tad controllative, have tons of things to talk and you will eat until you don't want to see food for next week (because you obviously haven't had good diner for while). Honestly they are lovely being, you just need to know how to deal with them.

  • @Self-replicating_whatnot
    @Self-replicating_whatnot 3 роки тому +37

    The ultimate "You are not my real mom!" story

  • @Slaughtomatic
    @Slaughtomatic 3 роки тому +60

    It bothered me a little that the word was written "Humitarian" but the narrator kept pronouncing it as "Humanitarian". It bothered me even more, however, that most of the comment section was making the same mistake.

    • @Nizati
      @Nizati 3 роки тому +10

      To be fair, Most of us are here because we prefer to listen to these stories as opposed to read it with our eyes... I didn't even look at the screen, multitasking with something else while listening with wireless headphones. So, take the comment section with a grain of salt.
      edit: But yeah, the narrator should have double checked how he was reading Humitarian.

    • @birgaripadam7112
      @birgaripadam7112 3 роки тому +1

      yeah me to

    • @Regooba
      @Regooba 3 роки тому

      Same.

    • @SJOGREENANTHONY
      @SJOGREENANTHONY 2 роки тому

      idont read i listen

    • @andrewkonkle5447
      @andrewkonkle5447 Рік тому +1

      English teachers withstanding, it was a good atory.

  • @mazeriayong8311
    @mazeriayong8311 3 роки тому +39

    The "war" between Terrans vs Humitarians : Home Alone.

  • @plsarguewithme2665
    @plsarguewithme2665 3 роки тому +38

    god this could be an entire book, there's so much to be explored... i hope to see more of it

  • @maximsavage
    @maximsavage 3 роки тому +37

    Where's the "Fuck Yeah" in that story? There's gotta be a second part where humanity kicks their asses and asserts their rights as a species.

  • @dragonhunter4592
    @dragonhunter4592 3 роки тому +45

    Honestly, I recall there being a sci-fi series _exactly_ like this in a sense: where humanity discovered they were just the failed piece of an evolutionary cycle and would actually have evolved into near-immortals, and other such things, with humans later finding a ship made by this mother species.

    • @Jogeta5
      @Jogeta5 3 роки тому +3

      Do you remember the author or title?

    • @MachineMan-mj4gj
      @MachineMan-mj4gj 2 роки тому +8

      It's a Larry Niven book, I think it's called Pax Protector. All simians are the descendants of the first two stages of an alien species' life cycle.

    • @SJOGREENANTHONY
      @SJOGREENANTHONY 2 роки тому +1

      name: Protector

    • @isawaletomo1680
      @isawaletomo1680 9 місяців тому

      @@MachineMan-mj4gj It's also part of the Ringworld cycle of books.

  • @fallenmorningstar9224
    @fallenmorningstar9224 3 роки тому +131

    Well that certainly was a twist I did not expect.

    • @dreadedpixel9022
      @dreadedpixel9022 3 роки тому +11

      Cant wait for the war this is going to inevitably to happen and the shit humans will do to keep there identity

    • @juliusmoe-nstar8942
      @juliusmoe-nstar8942 3 роки тому +11

      One thing i do know is. We won't go quietly for integration as we have fought for too long to make our own identity

    • @dreadedpixel9022
      @dreadedpixel9022 3 роки тому +4

      @@juliusmoe-nstar8942 exactly

    • @kokofan50
      @kokofan50 3 роки тому +1

      Really? I saw it coming as soon as the Terrenes were wearing helmets. My question was how we’d be telated

    • @dreadedpixel9022
      @dreadedpixel9022 3 роки тому +1

      @@kokofan50 if it was upto me? scorched earth, burn whatever we can hold and pull back to better hold more important systems

  • @TheOGSpartanNinja
    @TheOGSpartanNinja 3 роки тому +60

    We need the sequel.

  • @diablominero
    @diablominero 3 роки тому +31

    I mean, I'd totally love some extra lifespan, but the reason for that is so that I can enjoy it and do cool things with it. Spending the extra time on more mandatory childhood, when I didn't have that great a love for the childhood I've already had, is a bad deal and I want nothing to do with it.

  • @masterb2130
    @masterb2130 3 роки тому +104

    I can imagine one of the Humanitarian ships moving through an asteroid field only to be suddenly ambushed by a hoard of boarding vessels. Since they want to capture the humans, they turn off their point defense weapons to let them board. However the hoard is much bigger then they thought and are eventually overwhelmed by the sheer amount of "child" soldiers. This of course leads to the humans bringing the ship back home and due to it being made for what is essentially a giant human, it doesn't take long to reverse engineer it and the Humanitarian's power armor suits. Which due to the massive industrial strength they must have by now, humans start making more advanced weapons, armor, and suits to put them on even footing technology wise.
    I'd imagine that humans would use boarding tactics and small mechs to invade the Humanitarian ships since the large corridors made for Humanitarians could probably fit them easily and the mechs could maybe shield their occupant from psychic attacks.

    • @elijahaitaok8624
      @elijahaitaok8624 3 роки тому +22

      Everybody gangsta ‘till the asteroids broadcast Terran

    • @AshenTechDotCom
      @AshenTechDotCom 2 роки тому +8

      lets not forget the treatment to extend life and allow us to gain those powers..
      also..i bet some humans would either be immune or highly resistant to such attacks.. or would build such..
      imagine they try that on the wrong crazy drugged up fuckers and it just sends them into an angel dust style rage...

  • @Lord_Lasagña
    @Lord_Lasagña 3 роки тому +88

    Literally child's play... Wait, does that mean all the adults are man children?!

    • @CS-pe5uz
      @CS-pe5uz 3 роки тому +7

      Yes

    • @kanewilson8624
      @kanewilson8624 3 роки тому +8

      @@CS-pe5uz it would explain why feminazis are a thing

    • @Nizati
      @Nizati 3 роки тому +2

      @@kanewilson8624 or why someone would seriously use the word 'feminazis' without feeling like an idiot...

    • @nullpoint3346
      @nullpoint3346 3 роки тому +9

      @@Nizati Those they speak of brought it on.
      Retaliatory stupidity is still stupidity, but at least it has a warrant.

    • @Aden_III
      @Aden_III 3 роки тому +4

      @@Nizati it’s like you ignored the part where the person said “man children.” Feminazi is fair

  • @chenlee9835
    @chenlee9835 3 роки тому +149

    I hope there’s a continuation of this story.

    • @entidy
      @entidy 3 роки тому +45

      occupation is gonna suck for the humanitarians...

    • @purpledevilr7463
      @purpledevilr7463 3 роки тому +38

      There better be, the guerrilla campaigns are gonna be hell.

    • @citizen_grub4171
      @citizen_grub4171 3 роки тому +33

      @@purpledevilr7463 Imagine, if you will, being the first Humanitarian to kill a developmentally challenged child.

    • @evilmurlock
      @evilmurlock 3 роки тому +13

      Death to the humanitarians!!!

    • @dreadedpixel9022
      @dreadedpixel9022 3 роки тому +6

      @@entidy
      *laughs in IEDs*
      Dis gonna be gud

  • @justaninternetfool451
    @justaninternetfool451 3 роки тому +52

    The humanitarian behavior during negotiations makes me so vehemently mad and I don't know why

    • @mr.gaster1310
      @mr.gaster1310 3 роки тому +38

      It’s the condescension. I’m surprised the human envoys didn’t go into a blind rage. Maybe they did

    • @Darkapple771
      @Darkapple771 2 роки тому +11

      @@mr.gaster1310 right then they won't even try to let them have a say if they want to go with them or not. If they done differently I sure some Terrans would've went with them.

    • @jayeisenhardt1337
      @jayeisenhardt1337 Рік тому +6

      Simple answer is because you are Human.

    • @rwberger6
      @rwberger6 7 місяців тому

      Its because of the condescending way they don't even ask their permision and just openly state they plan to completely remove the humans from their culture built up over thousands of years and transfer them across the galaxy to be forcibly integrated into their own society.

    • @blue-cs3fk
      @blue-cs3fk 7 місяців тому +2

      That's because it's exactly how our parents treat us.
      'For their own sake, we will make their decisions for them, even though they have proven themselves to be highly capable on their own'
      Which is the exact sentiment human parents have towards their kids
      The reason this makes you angry is because it brings up suppressed anger against your parents
      I wish every parent would read or listen to this story the second they're expecting. They might learn something

  • @JOEY-xj4ds
    @JOEY-xj4ds 3 роки тому +181

    Is there a part 2? I want to know if we become legally emancipated minors or not 😆

  • @Felix-gv1ij
    @Felix-gv1ij 2 роки тому +24

    Just take the time and imagine...when they see the internet of the "little ones"

    • @xenozero2128
      @xenozero2128 2 роки тому +7

      Rule 34

    • @demon_xd_
      @demon_xd_ Рік тому +11

      Dear Humitarian empire, you claim that we have no psionic powers, yet we brough your invading armies to insanity within minutes simply by dispaying our internet to them, curious, isn't it?

  • @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH
    @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH 3 роки тому +35

    I want a part 2 for this

  • @Scream_Lord
    @Scream_Lord 3 роки тому +45

    Kinda puts into perspective how degrading we sometimes treat our own children.

  • @spencerquimby4726
    @spencerquimby4726 3 роки тому +17

    After so many thousands of years and under such intense and different genetic selection pressure, the terrans in the this story would likely have followed a path of evolution different enough from their ancient progenitors to be classified as a new species. In that case they would be entitles to all the rights and privileges of a sovereign civilization.

    • @Jogeta5
      @Jogeta5 3 роки тому +4

      Clearly, Humitarians don't seem to care about that little tidbit. That could be the basis of declaring said sovereignty in the future after the coming conflict (mass abduction), but a lot of humans would have been taken and sent to their ancestral relatives. Something we obviously see as ridiculous, but they don't.

    • @LordDaret
      @LordDaret 2 роки тому +3

      @@Jogeta5 this is literally going to turn out how it went between Italy and Ethiopia. Italy tricked Ethiopia into surrendering ALL diplomatic and were turned into a protectorate state in the mid 1800’s. Ethiopia had no choice as they were suffering from internal division. However once they resolved all issues, they pretty much baited Italy into attacking them and destroyed 3/4ths of the invading army and regained independence. I see the same thing happening.

  • @theycallmetim4201
    @theycallmetim4201 3 роки тому +40

    Interesting idea.Never heard a story line like that before with hfy.

  • @greywolf9783
    @greywolf9783 3 роки тому +37

    Can we take a moment after watching that story and admit we would be parasitic as hell to this foreign race before parriciding them?

  • @lawmansama
    @lawmansama 3 роки тому +12

    both sides have a valid argument. I think the choice should be voluntary. This is a story id like to see turned into a book. It is very interesting.

    • @nereo051184
      @nereo051184 2 роки тому

      All the new birth to raise them as humanitrians and let all the current crop of mankind alone.

  • @jros4057
    @jros4057 2 роки тому +16

    They invade and cure humanity. Only change is now humanity has just been buffed.
    Humanity: "Lol yall just messed up."

    • @vodamiinurl1337
      @vodamiinurl1337 Рік тому

      20+ years of fighting child soldiers developing anti-psychic technology followed by another 20+ years fighting robots built specifically to kill you accompanied by the occasional midget with the personality of a rabid Chihuahua.

  • @trulshansson9738
    @trulshansson9738 2 роки тому +26

    I would be super interested in seeing a continuation of this storyline where Terrans obviously were absorbed into Humitarian society (being vastly inferior, technologically, physically, and cognitively) mostly cured of the genetic affliction, and are now basically teenagers. It would be especially interesting to consider the challenges for Humitarians society to organize the care of these newfound children, and the ramifications for their society's power balance and dynamics, now that certain family houses are looking to expand their voting power and influence by tens of billions of individuals over the next few centuries or millennia.

    • @jayeisenhardt1337
      @jayeisenhardt1337 Рік тому

      Easy to see given our past and how they still living in it and are it from thousands of years ago. How we put family in chains and cages or cut out their brains. They will just do the same with better tech and cleaner cuts. It will look nicer but we will die the same. Kinda like how we still do it but instead of surgery it's medication now.
      Notice our differences just from this little encounter. Just follow what they will now do to the lizard because we are related. Why we can no longer speak and are below other alien races as we don't live up to the standard set by relation. That they will kill us and take by force anything they want.
      How short our life is we cherish it more. The speed of failure to learn golden rules. All born purely of human concepts Rules of war born of empathy due to being humbled even if we sometimes still act like them and think ourselves gods.
      Just imagine our super tech and dreams on steroids and the same for warcrimes. What we call humanity, lost. Our relation, our grandpa. We are about to throw down with the evil in our own hearts incarnate.

    • @Ace-Intervention
      @Ace-Intervention Рік тому +7

      Nah it’s gonna be a rebellion happening within humanitarian society

    • @AkGamerRo
      @AkGamerRo Рік тому +8

      Honestly, I just want to see their reaction to terran war documentaries. Would they be terrified by the atrocities committed by what they basically consider to be children with disabilities?

    • @mattbrown5511
      @mattbrown5511 Рік тому +4

      AND that most humans would not assimilate willingly.

  • @nets9970
    @nets9970 3 роки тому +51

    Also, what will they do with married couples and parents with kids? Will they take the kids away from the parents because they can't properly take care of them ?
    I think that's the scariest thing about this story.
    Also, I hope the humans that "grow up" will change the humanitarian society and keep their culture.
    The condescending way the humanitarians talk with humans is absolutely infuriating

    • @Kenny1one_2
      @Kenny1one_2 Рік тому +4

      That leaves the question, would our kids be pets or grandchildren

    • @jayeisenhardt1337
      @jayeisenhardt1337 Рік тому

      @@Kenny1one_2 Ever see that movie Mozart? Just imagine that old nuthouse where we are chained up in a cage and left to rot. Look at how they were on the ship and tell me that retards would be treated as well as we love pets. Even the idea of pet might be a purely human one. Those wrong ideas must be erased till we grow up exactly like them no discussion. Looking at our past, how much wrong we did, those thousands of year we learned from, well the ancestor/grandpa that spawned it is still alive and still is that same way from another planet.

    • @jayeisenhardt1337
      @jayeisenhardt1337 Рік тому

      It's gonna be one hell of a war where they might go as far as killing us all. The only reason to even try not to is because we are related. So yeah our rules of war they probably never even thought to hold back even if they can be 1000 times more horrible than us.
      Had only one half decent guy saying "calm yourself" but let it happen. An entire related species going to war to kill or capture deficient non-sapient offspring. The only reason we suddenly drop below all other alien races is because we don't measure up to their standard since we are related now.

    • @cristalmewtwo4160
      @cristalmewtwo4160 Рік тому +3

      They'd be taken away as the symptoms say premature sexual age as such meaning that this is the humanitarian version of child pregnancies

    • @anthonnynavarro8486
      @anthonnynavarro8486 Рік тому +3

      Bro i had not thought about that, that is terrifying...

  • @bansheexii
    @bansheexii 3 роки тому +99

    Okay, I am now interested to know if there's more to this space Opera because this became an interesting jihad story of a sort

    • @youngbloodbanana3376
      @youngbloodbanana3376 3 роки тому +3

      What got jihad into this?

    • @bansheexii
      @bansheexii 3 роки тому +20

      @@youngbloodbanana3376 the big aliens implied that it was their right to have their children back into the fold, their unalienable god-given right to have say what happens to your entire family

    • @youngbloodbanana3376
      @youngbloodbanana3376 3 роки тому +3

      @@bansheexii a jihad means srife to something
      Like geting out of bed when your depressed count as a jihad

    • @nocount7517
      @nocount7517 3 роки тому +3

      @@youngbloodbanana3376 Jihad translates to "holy war." It's essentially a crusade.

    • @youngbloodbanana3376
      @youngbloodbanana3376 3 роки тому +5

      @@nocount7517 are you saying i don't know my language Or my religon that this word came from

  • @Pink_Invader
    @Pink_Invader 2 роки тому +17

    I would not want to see their faces when we start with suicide runs and mutual destruction tactics against our "parents"

    • @vodamiinurl1337
      @vodamiinurl1337 Рік тому +4

      Not to mention what happens when we start looking for countermeasures. It starts at tin foil and prosthetics.

  • @Fuxy22
    @Fuxy22 2 роки тому +10

    Even if they are children... they should still have no claim to their person after so many generations...
    Hostile action will get them no fans and if they eventually decide to cure them and they get as powerful as them it will create a huge rift in their society.
    Those children are long dead and they should just accept it and move on...

  • @xanthos9641
    @xanthos9641 Рік тому +10

    The logic of the Humitarians is really dumb. It's basically like if a parent loses its child who ends up going up for adoption, and raised by another family. Then, when the child is a fully grown adult, the original parents (who are practically immortal somehow) try to claim the now-adult child as their own. It isn't their place to do that, and the only foreseeable outcomes are the child either running away, or getting mad at their genetic parents and fighting back.

  • @sangralknight3031
    @sangralknight3031 2 роки тому +17

    Unlike alot of people here, I dont think humanity will be able to "stop" this utterly borked traumatic expiriance.
    However, childhood trauma has lasting effects well into adulthood.
    So in a few hundred years, expect "patricide" to skyrocket as a suddenly very violent, very socipathic, very vindictive and very adapted generation of "humanitarians" tears their way through the empire like a happy band of psycopaths in an old folks home.
    Memories are long. Imagine for a moment if you will:
    Little timmy has grown up in his "family" home for centuries, constantly told his childhood years were just a little phase, that WIFE and his CHILDREN were just little mistakes a little baby boy made.
    Now little timmy is a fully grown adult... with all the knowledge, all the wisdom, all the powers, technology and strength of his humanitarian form...
    But despite his non-human family assuring him he will get over the little baby games he played as a little baby boy. He never once forgot what they took from him... so using all the subtlety and rage he has remembered from so long ago, he murders every last one of the "family" one by one, psionic torment undreamed of hin their history.
    He finds his family, the other humans... the others who remembered. They keep killing, and keep killing, and tear the empire down in a war that shakes the whole galaxy to its core.

    • @Neeb-tt9hn
      @Neeb-tt9hn Місяць тому

      Yup that’s how it would go.

  • @GabrielGabster
    @GabrielGabster 3 роки тому +13

    Tall, glowing eyes, powers beyond human ability? Does this mean that all deity figures were just the adults that survived the crash? And that the reason why all the 'miracles' stopped was because they finally died of old age?

    • @GabrielGabster
      @GabrielGabster 3 роки тому +1

      Maybe they'd have good trans healthcare

    • @lordpfeiffer8490
      @lordpfeiffer8490 3 роки тому +3

      we could have killed in them in most myths of gods the gods die from regular humans before replacing them. as well they said we should contact the family i.e as the parents from the crash are alive and well.

    • @jongarrat2417
      @jongarrat2417 2 роки тому

      @@lordpfeiffer8490 or the ship was destroyed, they had no medical facilities, only first aid packs, caught the disease from their wards and died, leaving the children to fend for themselves.

    • @Raj-gr6dy
      @Raj-gr6dy Рік тому +1

      I think I might like this idea

  • @peterwarner553
    @peterwarner553 Рік тому +8

    Should just offer us the cure and let us determine our own future, that's what a good parent would do.

  • @speakingwithoutnet
    @speakingwithoutnet 3 роки тому +22

    Those aliens have no idea what type of hornets nest they're kicking.
    How will they react when agents in deep cover missions arrive?
    Imagine situations like this.
    -A business leader or government official is dropping their child off at school or going to the park. Then a toddler, who until 5 seconds ago was dressed and acting just like other children shoots them in the head and escapes in the panic.
    -Security finds a child in the back area of a cultural monument, a government building, or some important building open to the public. They send a message saying they're going to get them back to their parents, and then the whole building blows up.
    -A simple meet and greet from officials with the public, ends with a child shooting the politicians, shouting a pro-human slogan, and then shoot themselves in the head on live TV to avoid capture and to horrify the populace.
    I could go on, but that's enough psychotic ideas for now.
    They would start scanning every single child, and keeping their children locked away out of fear of the insanely dangerous humans. Goodbye moral.

  • @christerry8531
    @christerry8531 2 роки тому +8

    Dude we are definitely going to need a part two for this of the war between the humanitarians and the Terrans or some kind of negotiated agreement to ensure humanity gets to keep itself separate from the humanitarians

  • @shinraset
    @shinraset 3 роки тому +18

    Secondary missive sent out to the humanitarian:
    Any attempts to force us into integration may lead us to spite you in the most vile method we have! Sincerely all those born of the planet Terra and her colonies!
    PS if you do anything drastic to the lizard people we're not going to be happy.

  • @StephenCampbell-yy2xc
    @StephenCampbell-yy2xc 2 місяці тому +3

    Looking like your adversaries children would have one big advantage in a firefight, they will hesitate before pulling the trigger

  • @Valeomega1996
    @Valeomega1996 3 роки тому +48

    I don't know I wouldn't mind the cure. Also if they see us as children they most likely wouldn't tear us apart because of the bonds we formed. It's demeaning to think about but they'd most likely would act like overbearing parents but not tear us apart. I do think our history books would disgust them entirely.

    • @matthewdeamon9554
      @matthewdeamon9554 3 роки тому +16

      I agree with you but I don't think we would hold the same sentiment

    • @Troleandocreyentes
      @Troleandocreyentes 3 роки тому +33

      I imagine a woman saying to her husband after reading a human history book: they take this from your side of the familiy.

    • @matthewdeamon9554
      @matthewdeamon9554 3 роки тому +13

      @@Troleandocreyentes he dosen't even blink and says you see that lady shes from your side and he points to napoleon hes from my side

    • @vanceunderwood5364
      @vanceunderwood5364 3 роки тому +11

      Imagine when they get to Vlad the Impaler or the Spanish Inquisition.

    • @alicengreen1707
      @alicengreen1707 3 роки тому +5

      @@vanceunderwood5364 imagine when they get to Mengele and Hitler ..... yeesh

  • @fleurgymcheurgy9267
    @fleurgymcheurgy9267 3 роки тому +18

    Query: Do you think they could 'cure' adult or teenage humans? because if they could, that would result in a much greater majority of willing returnees.

    • @jongarrat2417
      @jongarrat2417 2 роки тому +1

      the story said they developed a cure, but I was thinking of the Humitarians at the treaty getting a major rifting from home when they reported events and some actual sociologists and doctors realised what they had done, something along the lines of, "what the FUCK are you thinking, you can't just appropriate an entire Civilisation, release those delegates AT ONCE, and apologise, on your knees if needs be, a qualified contact team and negotiators is on route, arrival in sixteen hours, STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING, dumbass political delegates"

    • @craftysmithkeith3653
      @craftysmithkeith3653 2 роки тому +12

      Teens exchanging 18 years of being told “oh you’re too young for this” for around 3k years? Oh I don’t think so

  • @arfbark3924
    @arfbark3924 3 роки тому +43

    Phenomenal narration, blood boiling story.

  • @tordlindgren2123
    @tordlindgren2123 3 роки тому +12

    Well. The human body do act like it's supposed to enter a new growth spurt at age 30-35 ish. It just stops at the energy stockpile phase. (Other growth spurts are at age 1,5-2. at 12-14.)

  • @DisIzDaName
    @DisIzDaName 2 роки тому +17

    Doesn't it seem odd that none of the races bordering humanity ever noticed the resemblance of humans to the children of the most massive superpower species in the galaxy?

  • @Stormblessed72
    @Stormblessed72 2 роки тому +63

    There has to be a part two, no way we're going like that, like tyvm for a cure to aging but naw we independent

    • @xanderortega4359
      @xanderortega4359 8 місяців тому +1

      There has to be

    • @pilopuha
      @pilopuha 4 місяці тому

      ​@@xanderortega4359and yet there is none

    • @horsepowermultimedia
      @horsepowermultimedia 3 місяці тому +1

      Humanity was basically forced to fight a war that determined whether they'd gain more time but lose their independence or continue to have autonomy over their short lives. To be honest, I would choose to keep my autonomy because choosing to gain a few more centuries of life at the cost of my adulthood & freedom would be a bad decision in the long run. That would be like being biologically immortal in North Korea.

    • @mvpdjg4965
      @mvpdjg4965 Місяць тому +2

      @@horsepowermultimedia I don’t think so I think you would be under the “parents” protection until you became an adult after which I would assume you would be free to do what you want I mean they are us after all

    • @Shyster099
      @Shyster099 8 днів тому

      Yeah who would want to live for thousands of years and have psychic powers?

  • @toplobster7714
    @toplobster7714 2 роки тому +8

    Well if they are so powerful how come they didn't find us? I say they forfeited their claims when they left us to rot.

    • @demon_xd_
      @demon_xd_ Рік тому +2

      We won the lottery (a few systems) and now they’re claiming to be a distant relative

  • @Deathbecomesme3
    @Deathbecomesme3 Рік тому +7

    I would think a nontrivial percentage of humanity would have been saying "wait so you mean to tell me that I'm actually a telekinetic behemoth who will live for centuries and to realize this future all I have to do is get cured of this space flu I didnt even know I had!? Shit, where are Grandma and Grandpa glowy eyes?"

  • @markc1548
    @markc1548 Рік тому +7

    This is one of my favorite stories, I'd love to see this as a novel or movie.
    Imagine if all humanities worst aging diseases that we've been trying to cure for forever were all symptoms of this one disease! Mental and muscle decline, ageing etc.

  • @redraptorx1066
    @redraptorx1066 Рік тому +4

    according to this story, earth is on big case of not only being a long running rendition of "lord of the flies" but also "island dwarfism".

  • @thecatlover5093
    @thecatlover5093 2 роки тому +13

    This needs an aftermath of humanity somehow breaking reality to keep the idiotic estranged relatives away.

    • @demon_xd_
      @demon_xd_ Рік тому +3

      we're losing ground, I did not want it to come to this but we have no choice...
      1st Terran fleet, come to the inner worlds, platoons Florida, Texas, Latin America, and Russia are ready for deployment

    • @vodamiinurl1337
      @vodamiinurl1337 Рік тому +2

      Probably becoming the Cult Mechanicus in the process as a counter measure against psychic powers.

  • @joshadams5602
    @joshadams5602 3 роки тому +18

    So, what happens when humanity, now aware of the disease keeping us from our full potential, create our own cure, or steal the existing one?

    • @xenozero2128
      @xenozero2128 2 роки тому +2

      If you go to war. You can map out there genome from the fallen.

    • @jayeisenhardt1337
      @jayeisenhardt1337 Рік тому +1

      "create our own cure"
      We become the Jedi and they stay the Sith.

  • @Troleandocreyentes
    @Troleandocreyentes Рік тому +7

    Humitarian: Aparently one of the kids spontaneously heal from the salician disease, and for some reason the other kids call him... is this for real. The god emperor!?

    • @nereo051184
      @nereo051184 Рік тому +1

      According to book were at least 2000

  • @willowshadow1940
    @willowshadow1940 Рік тому +4

    Man, the second those “kids” get cured and grow up to actual adults there’s gonna be hell to pay for taking them away from home.

  • @bluebandit4634
    @bluebandit4634 3 роки тому +14

    I'd go to war just for being called little one . I'd be like u have no idea the tantrum we humans are about to throw

  • @alexschmitt2980
    @alexschmitt2980 3 роки тому +15

    Honestly, my inner pedant was really agitated every time you read the word "Humitarian" as "Humanitarian". I wouldn't even have noticed if I hadn't stopped the video the first time you said it to read the passage for myself because I thought naming an alien species "Humanitarians" was so heavy-handed that it had to be a mistake.
    Turns out it was.

    • @nordicmind82
      @nordicmind82 3 роки тому

      There we go! A comment on the thing that made my eyes widen. Most other commentators seem to just repeat the weird mistake. Thank you for being observant.

  • @Exile_Sky
    @Exile_Sky 3 роки тому +25

    Ehhh, I was bound to find a HFY I wasn't fond of.
    Not that your efforts were poor.
    P.S. I'm not fond of it because it retcons my ancestors out of history and ignores how genetics actually works within a species. Homo-sapiens and Neanderthal are not and never have been the same thing. They were genetic siblings, but they were as different from each other socially and physically as could be, down to the way the skull was shaped, and likely how the brain worked given their stark contrast in behavior. It also ignores our clear genetic ties to apes and the fact that our accelerated life cycle would make the "Humanitarians" as different from us as we are from apes. It would take outright genetic engineering to make us like them at that point, and at the point that would be no different than assimilating a species using genetic engineering... which if you were capable of it, you'd just be using retro-viruses to sterilize or transform every other species out of the galaxy..
    Worst of all.. in this story humanity isn't unique because they are *humanity*, they are just the spawn of psionic space giants that live centuries that apparently no one in the galactic community fucks with anyway...

  • @Neobahamutfr36
    @Neobahamutfr36 3 роки тому +9

    That's rather funny since in some of these stories, humankind is portrayed as some sort of unruly, mischievious children

  • @appachaihoppachai1246
    @appachaihoppachai1246 3 роки тому +12

    Great Googly moogly. I need more of this.

  • @aaronholmes-black6621
    @aaronholmes-black6621 3 роки тому +14

    Interested to see how this one would turn out, besides forceful inoculation and indoctrination. UNSC type Humans can't really match 40k type Space Marine Super Humans on all fronts.

  • @Satsaru
    @Satsaru 3 роки тому +25

    How did you narrate this entire thing without ever actually reading the word Humitarian?

    • @chrisdufresne9359
      @chrisdufresne9359 9 місяців тому

      Likely, his mind just "fixed" the word as he read it. It's akin to your brain automatically correcting wrong grammar when you read it.

  • @DaWhiteWolffie
    @DaWhiteWolffie Рік тому +3

    This! This right here needs to be a series! From the point of view of the 'Terrans' and the problems with trying to be treated as equals by their alien 'parents'. It would be so unique and interesting, and dark and funny at the same time.

  • @emilivar4558
    @emilivar4558 3 роки тому +3

    I never understand why this chanel doesn't have millions of views, when the content on here is SO GOOD!

  • @Overlord99762
    @Overlord99762 3 роки тому +9

    I'm picturing the Humanitarias as Space Marines

  • @linfro2001
    @linfro2001 3 роки тому +8

    so humans have a dissieas and we are inbreed from a ship of people
    "inhale deeply" SWETTE HOM ALLABAMA

  • @averieschultz9605
    @averieschultz9605 3 роки тому +20

    Please make a sequel, that was the funniest and most entertaining story yet with a lot of possibilities moving forward.

    • @elijahaitaok8624
      @elijahaitaok8624 3 роки тому +4

      Funny, with an undertone of heavy subjugation

  • @atlantastark9470
    @atlantastark9470 3 роки тому +19

    I see comments like. "well you wouldn't have adult responsibilities for a lot longer"
    Ya, sure it be nice to not have to stress about that kinda stuff for a lot longer.
    But to them your children - not capable of making your own decisions or taking care of yourself. all of your accomplishments, all of humanity's accomplishments - everything you have struggled for to improve yourself, to overcome.
    Means nothing to them.
    I also imagine that since your 'children' if you had an SO or wife/husband strife could come of that too.
    And consider how we treat our own kind of dilapidating diseases mental illnesses (not just in the past but now?) - is that really how you want to be treated? We might have diseases that they don't have or have never had - how are those people going to be treated? experimented on?
    Ya, I would love to stress less.
    But everything I have stressed about or have struggled to overcome or have accomplished through those struggles means something to ME.
    And I don't think my anxiety and emotional self could handle someone dismissing all of my struggles because I'm am a 'child' to their longer-lived self.
    and while some of these families you would be shared with might be loving and caring - it's not a grantee. Just because they are the most powerful race and called 'humanitarians' does not mean they are the perfect face and don't have 'bad' people within their society. you're bound to get some that will look down on you, manipulate and abuse you, bully you and ignore you. - some humans already do this!
    So no thank you - I want to keep this identity that I have no matter how stressful it is. I've worked for this - WE have struggled hundreds of years for this. and we are STILL trying tp improve and become better. I think being reduced to nothing but children would set this SO SO SO far back for many reasons.

  • @ladyred9613
    @ladyred9613 Рік тому +6

    I wish that the Humanitarians had shown that they were truly superior, truly the grown-ups. That they would be able to realize that treating someone who is a 'grown-up' like a child would not build trust. Even if a twelve year old kid is still a kid, but they successfully took care of themselves, got themselves to school, got themselves food, even if it was not the correct level, I would not treat them like they were incapable. They must have a lot of pride to manage, and even if I believe that a 12 year old should not have to deal with all those burdens, I would not talk down to them.

  • @futureshock382
    @futureshock382 3 роки тому +4

    This mans eyes went over "Humitarian" so many times and every single time he pronounced an N that wasnt there. Fascinating

  • @julonkrutor4649
    @julonkrutor4649 3 роки тому +11

    12 years later. The Terrans fought a brutal war, they killed billions of humanitarians, but in the end they got pushed back to the final line around Sol - there home.
    "They called this Childs play. They called us 'Littel ones'! They showed us there contemed from the beginning. We showed them the true meaning of war. No other nation has resisted them for so long, cost them so much. They started this war with there system disabeling weapons, with there psionic specialists ... we crushed that fleet after the first border colonies fall. Then we toke those colonies back, liberated as many as we could. They tryed again. This time with real warships escorting there fleet. It cost us over 7 million lives to defead the 2nd fleet, but we capurted a bit of there tech.
    Then we got overcomvidend. We went and tryed to rescue our brothers and sisters that where taken. We run into there real military. They crushed our expedition. But now we know wath would come for us, sooner or later. We prepared as good as we could. They attacked Coriana 6, we withdraw .They attacked Tau Ceti, we withdraw. They attacked Alpha Centauri, we withdraw. Now we are at Sol. Our preparations are not yet ready, but we can not withdraw any longer.
    Soilders of Terra, we have to hold the line for 3 weeks. We will hold the line for 3 weeks. I can not tell you why - but i can tell you, that if we hold for just 3 weeks, Terra will have a chance to win this war!"
    Admiral Hans Koppenhauser, terran navy on his flakship Ragnarok at the beginning of the battle for Sol.
    2 weeks, 6 days and 20 h later on the Humanitarien Flagship. "Admiral, how are they doing this?" asked the capitan of the ship. The question why was forgotten after the first 5 years of this brutal war. They where fighting children, and those children where fighting harder then any other race in the galaxy. They othered medical help, intigration into the great empire and reunification with there famalies, and these children spid in there faces, rejected them. "They are determend to defend there Home. If they are grown up, they will be terrifing warriors." offered the captians aid "They are terrifing warriors! We have better ships, psionics, more soilders and ressources then they, and yet it toke us 12 years. 12 years and millions of lives lost. When they run out of ships, they used guns. When they run out of guns, they used kinfes and there bare hands to resist us. Even there civilians fight us as good as they can. Even after they got taken in by there famalies, they resist in every way they can. And here is there home. They fought like mad man to protect it. But not only to make a glourius last stand. No, they had a plan and where so close. In just a few more hourse they would have lunched there new ships. With them, they could have resisted us for years, maybe decates. We are lucky that we broke them fast enought." stated the Admiral.
    Then the sensor officer reported with a voice armed with professionalisem "Unidified ships entering the system! Many unidifed ships! Sir, its an entire fleet!" after a few more moments he spoke again "Sir, these are ..."
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    exuse my maybe bad english, i wrote this without checking it ^^ ... maybe i edit it in the future ^^