i'm starting to avoid Social Media at all costs now. The amount of toxic and dumb cultures that show up at Tiktok, Instagram, etc, is shocking. What happens to actually loving your partner and having a healthy relationship? Or is it that considered boring?
@@bgos4727 Of course not but I figured people would have moved on from that time and decided to stop treating their partner like garbage but clearly I'm way too naive.
I’m happy we’re shifting from the narrative that being single is an inherently bad thing and people need to be in relationships! It’s nice to see our romance heavy society start decentering it a bit
I dunno if I misunderstood, but being single isn’t a bad thing. Not everyone needs or wants a boyfriend. Edit: reread this and I realized I didn’t understand what you were saying. Sorry 😅
God designed men and women to form a partnership. You should be looking for someone to help elevate you (and likewise). This falls apart once we start looking outside of this. In order to be elevated you must first be on the elevator 🤷🏽♂️
I'm a woman and I don't relate at all to this notion that "women don't bond over activities" and "just because we went to dinner a couple of times doesn't mean we're friends". I feel like I'm from a different planet from people when they talk about this stuff. I absolutely consider other women my friends when we connect over activities. There's a reason most people's friends are people from work, after all, since you spend hours a day doing activities with those people. I don't agree with any of this at all. It's so reductive.
Yeah same here! I disagree with the generalizations of both genders. And I think it's interesting that people are framing it as "being embarrassed" by their partner as if there's some kind of audience to your relationship. The first thing I'd be worried about in a relationship is being treated well, not what other people think of how I'm being treated. The dating culture that's pushed on the internet is just toxic all around I think. I don't see anything wrong with the drizzle drizzle "movement" at all. It's literally just men satirically pointing out how ridiculous it is to base your relationship around money and how much a partner (or date) is willing to spend on you. To each their own though
@@01neveroddoreven10 I don’t think there’s anything wrong with generalising about both genders. There are notable differences between genders when it comes to friendship. It is well documented that female friendships tend to be deeper, with one major factor being that they form emotional bonds through intimate communication. This can probably (amongst other factors) explain why female friendships may experience quicker fallouts if issues arise, compared to their male counterparts. To clarify, I don’t think generalising means that everyone fits the description, especially when there are no perceived negative connotations in the context of the topic.
@@olumideoyinloye9087the thing is how do you scientifically/ statistically prove any of that? you’re going off based stereotypes. sure, there are differences in how men and women are raised which impacts all sorts of relationships they might have, including friendship. this is nowhere near inherent though (at least you couldn’t prove that it is bc you can’t evaluate sth like that without taking into account the social aspect). It’s probably true women tend to have deeper connections with their friends, but we need to be mindful that this is only *probably* the case that women *tend to* have more intimate friendships across *most* demographics. in short, we can think it, but we can’t act like these are facts of life.
@@ellevasc here is a link to a research by the NIH. www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2869101/ There are hundreds of “Female & Male friendship” studies out there and they all seem to have these points in common. Also please read the last part of my previous message, I never claimed anything was “fact”. Do enjoy your day.
I think for me, when I tell toxic guys that I’m waiting for marriage, they drop like FLIES. I also never had sex or had my first kiss, that’s for my husband on our wedding night. My dating pool is now little to none, but I still hold up my standards even if it’s “unrealistic for men”.
@@afrofaeries bwahahaha good luck finding a man that wants to get married! We men have come to understand that marriage is an old played out game where the wife stands to win if she breaks that contract by taking half your stuff… not worth it.
That's a personal choice. I don't necessarily agree with it, as studies have shown intimacy before marriage helps people to find out what they are comfortable with and improves compatibility. People aren't doing it to cut loose, but to better find a partner that can adequately fulfill those needs if/when they do decide to get married.
@@spicymemes7458 can the couple not have discussions to find out what they’re comfy with? They can talk and come to an agreement, why do they have to do the deed before marriage (gen)
I definitely remember feeling embarrassed about sharing the boys I liked in highschool and it actually really affected my friendships back then, my friends wouldn’t share about their boyfriends w me too, because they knew that the way that they were being treated was not ok to me. I’ve had friends who I have stopped talking to because I couldn’t stand their partners. Because they do insist on staying, and it became unhealthy for our relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to leave your friend over something like that, but if your friend is only talking about the struggles they’re having w their boyfriend, it’s just hard to have a friendship at that point, and I actually started to resent my friends instead of feeling for them. When you as a woman are embarrassed of your partner, it actually pushes you away from your friends. It sounds super cheesy but if you don’t share your struggles w your friends either, then you get stuck only depending on your partner. It’s so hard to explain and this video definitely made me remember all the dynamics I experienced back then.
I had a similar situation with my best friend who was in a toxic relationship. Every time she came to me with complaints about how shitty he is I would tell her she deserves better and she should dump him, etc. After like 3 or 4 years of this I just stopped engaging and would change the subject whenever she brought him up and she eventually (and finally) broke it off. It's a tough situation to be in as a friend, especially when there's abuse involved. Like you want to be there for them but there's only so many times you can listen to someone complain about a situation theyre not really trying to get out of.
@@01neveroddoreven10 yeah it feels like staying and listening is kind of being ok w and condoning the relationship even if you’re actually there to be a friend.
@@5autumndream yeah exactly almost like feeding into it. I'm sorry you lost some friends over it and I'm sorry for them too. It's a frustrating situation to be in all around
I think a lot of people have lost sight of the fact that it is okay to have your own preferences! If a woman wants a man that takes care of her that's perfectly fine. And if she doesn't mind splitting expenses that's okay too. But I think men should remember women nowadays are much likely to hold out for men that fit their requirements rather rhan lowering themselves to their standards. Because being threatened with lifelong singleness by men doesn't really matter as it once did.
Appreciate the video tinysey. Although as a man I can’t say I agree with every single thing said. Both men and women should focus on finding partners that truly respect them and treat them well and think there’s a lot of people of every gender who fail to do this. And if you can’t find one right now, don’t feel pressured to settle. I think associating tradwives with having a partner that treats you well is a mistake, but maybe it’s better to live and learn.
We’re only 1:10 minutes in and I’m already confused af! Like who tf are the ppl being mentioned, wtf is “sprinkle sprinkle”, and what is “drizzle drizzle”? 😵💫 idek dude 🤦🏻♀️
On another note, stay-at-home girlfriend/wife and the loneliness epidemic don’t mesh together well. I had an abusive childhood so I isolated and don’t talk to any old friends or even new ones I made from work. No kids. Barely any family since I’m estranged. Like personally, I was burnt out from teaching. I had a half-dozen new health issues/allergies come out along with panic attacks and enough was enough. I basically demanded that I stay home to heal for some time and my husband was finally on board after 3 years of my health progressively getting worse. I don’t have half the problems anymore and I’ve lost over 20 pounds, but I’ve been pretty miserable as just a dog mom. If you deal with depression and anxiety, stay-at-home may be a devastating experience. I have a part-time job now that I love and makes me feel better, but it took about 4 months of healing and then 4 months of searching for a job to get to this next chapter of my life where I am feeling okay.
I mean her man has an infant and left his partner who had just had a baby for Sabrina to gallivant the world. It’s wild. He’s totally likely to embarrass her - he has been arrested for being disorderly when going out. Don’t think he’s a bad guy but he had a rough situation growing up.
Reminds me of when my aunt told me I should be grateful my kids dad stopped by on Easter in 2021 because "well you say he never visits" like mam he's supposed to be raising these kids too.
Ha did i ever misunderstand the analogy of the bar. I was thinking limbo, we’re talking high jumps? I was like “the lower the bar, the harder to get under” oh geez 🤦🏻♀️
Lol true! Don’t laugh-or do. When I was major depressed I daydreamed about being a fat family house cat. So much better than being a depressed 21 year r old human going through an existential crisis.
the lady talking around 9mins... I do not understand or relate to anything she's saying. I don't go on tiktok but it seems like ppl on there think men and women are completely different species? As if we aren't all individual humans with different wants and needs :-(( idk. Just kind of depressing to think about living like that
Yeah it says a lot that I was so floored and happy when I discovered my man was not only emotionally mature but also enjoys housework WHILE wanting a housewife 💜
Others judge a woman based on her boyfriend’s actions in her absence. If someone’s actions make you feel ashamed, why stay with them? Why is the way they behave upsetting us? They do not speak for your character. Even if you might not agree with all they do, it is impractical to pressure someone to live up to your standards to improve your image. Why do we live our lives trying to achieve unachievable perfection?
The thing with expecting guys to be 'old fashioned/traditional' etc and pay for everything, is that you then have to be okay with them expecting the old fashioned, traditional things from you. I personally would rather pay for my own coffee/dinner/any beauty treatments I opt for and have equally split housework, but different strokes for different folks I guess. Just don't expect to have your cake and eat it too
@@ElizabethUkeh Just because individual tasks can't be split down the middle doesn't mean it can't still be equal. Eg if one partner is breastfeeding/pumping, maybe the other partner is responsible for everything else feeding related- sterilising bottles, burping, cooking meals, feeding other children, etc. It's about finding a division of labour that's equitable for you. I'm entirely responsible for the car, my partner is entirely responsible for the pets- things like that. I also don't think things like childbirth and breastfeeding really factor into early relationship behaviours- if you've been with someone three months is the thought process REALLY 'he needs to pay for my eyelash extensions because one day we might get married and have kids and then I'll be breastfeeding'? Even then- the extra support when the hypothetical kids come will be a lot more valuable than beauty treatments or margs. Not saying guys can't do both, but just thinking if you bring old fashioned values into dating, don't be too shocked if they do the same.
@@ElizabethUkehyou’re 🤪 huh? If you’re doing a tally in your head, you shouldn’t be wasting the time of another human. You aren’t ready for a relationship 💯
I’m just happy someone is pointing out the dysfunction within the dating world. Every time people do on TikTok or instagram women will attack each other. It’s tearing us apart more than it brings us together.
*Me watching this video essay knowing damn well I get no male attention whatsoever and it may remain that way regardless of how much I develop through life* : 👁👄👁☕️
No offense to Simone but she set herself to be disrespected and keeps setting herself up and has so little insight in how a man treats & talks about a woman he cherishes and feels lucky to have (both partners should feel this way). Idk why she wasn’t taught this but she has a history of “telling on herself” of how she feels about herself - i first noticed when she shared with the whole world that if she had a movie done about her she wanted to be portrayed Zendaya Coleman (lmfao). She sometimes tries to use reverse psychology when people are pointing out how little this woman values herself _(by saying things like commentators are actually the ones who want her to hate herself rather than her doing that fine on her own and her commentators simply wanting her to hold herself to a higher standard)_ but everyone sees right through it. It’s kinda sad but she’s a grown woman and is probably too smug with other women to actually listen so whatever happens in her relationship happens. Hopefully it improves but I’m not getting my hopes up
“Insecure” is your middle name my gawd 🫢 are you psychic? You say it’s sad but then call her smug? You sound like you need to organize your house first. Feigning care to insult people is pathetic
I haven't even watched the video. I'm just commenting on the title -- they have always been a liability. Women, for millenia, have excused the XYs behavior as "boys will be boys" and just suffered through it. 😔
Exactly this. Men have always been a liability when it comes to womens health and overall well-being, for CENTURIES. I personally believe women thrive the most when they are in women dominant spaces or social groups, whilst single or married to another woman. Not saying a woman can’t be happy with a man, but I don’t think she can be at her happiest and most secure state.
Do stay at home girlfriends have to poop while their boyfriend is at work? It seems like being sick or having bodily functions is not part of that aesthetic. Curious.
I think that at the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their own preferences when it comes to dating but I do find it funny that men have made being the "providers" in the relationship the norm for centuries, only to now complain about it and try to shift the blame onto women. like damn what more do you want from us ??? on a lighter note, I'm very happy to see so many women wanting better for themselves, you go ladies
My issue with "the bare minimum" is that the term has to mean something measurable. Once women started changing what counted as the bare minimum five times a week, based on whatever new thing they saw on TikTok that day, it became a rigged game for men. And once men determined that the game is rigged the smart move is not to play.
If someone called what I did for my husband the “bare minimum” or what he did for me the “bare minimum” I would be so pissed because we do all that I can. Some people use the term in a relatively fair way but there are so many people using to mean “enough to keep me from leaving immediately but not as much as I want for my personal gratification” and it’s ridiculous Men who aren’t engaging with women because of it are only making themselves miss out. I don’t have TikTok or other social media profiles and haven’t been brainwashed and neither has the company I keep. It’s not that hard to find a woman who is critical of what she sees online, just don’t date women who whine and complain about men online and you’re good. There’s billions of people in the world and online algorithms have a negativity bias- it’s really good at making the minority of women/men in the world seem like a larger percentage than it is in reality
@@maenad1231 You're not wrong, but you are missing a large factor in this calculation. Marriage is supposed to be forever, but you can only account for this influence in the present as a man. If the women that a man marries starts following this content 5 years later he's still screwed; if she starts watching it 10 or 20 years later he's still screwed. Society right now does not want people to be happily married, so it's not enough to marry someone because they are a good person, if they can't withstand decades of attack from the world around them. For people who want to leave the country, to date I think this is one of the reasons. Its easier to date in a society that supports marriage, but here you have to factor in the endurance of the woman that you choose because society will try to come at her everyday until your marriage breaks.
I said the same thing. Gen z girls are trending misandrist and Gen z boys are trending misogynist (obv not this case)😅 They lack consistent morality, looking for a double standard. Everything is gendered and racialized, like give it a fvcking rest 🙄 I blame horoscopes and fox news bigotry 😂 People talk about race like they did in the 1800, it’s like we’re different species, identifying labels as borders is a weird as concept. Fun fact: society was more integrated in the 90s. We’re going backwards 😅
@18:54 nobody has gotten better at selecting their mate, that is why the divorce rate is going into the 60% range..... Men conflate the women that will allow them to take them out on a date, for women that will commit to them. Same thing for women, women conflate the men that will sleep with them with the men that will commit to them
One thing true amongst men is that providing puts a huge mental pressure on all of us, especially since even if a woman is working, the majority of men won’t count on their partner’s salary since we are taught to be the sole providers as well as be strong and always lead. Having said that, what Jalen mentioned actually comes close to what you’re saying here about the standard: provider can’t only be financial because we, as humans, actually need more than that, so also being present and non tangible acts are also involved in providing and sadly is the point a lot of people are desperate to ignore.
It isn’t enough to have a boyfriend. My expectations are so high after dating this one person they did all the cooking. They were really good with their emotions and helping me process my own emotions and it was also really hot that they were an artist and would draw me regularly.
What is the standard for men 2024. And what would be exceeding set expectation? I don’t wanna talk about money what are physical and emotional things that they should be doing
Cooking,cleaning,taking care of their kids, emotionally,financially and physically and not a cheater ,if you don't have a man like this in your life(marriage),he is useless and you are his second mother,and if you stay with a man who is not like this ,then you are an idiot ,and you and the useless being are going to breed the next generation of pick me women and useless men, is this harsh? Having a man appearing child is harsh
I feel like what he said vs Jonathan Owens situation are different. Being a guy wanting to be taken out is a right feeling to have. Women and Men should feel that.
it’s for the penis-haver to pay for an unaffordable lifestyle and make it a Disneyland Experience for her or he’s a pos 😅 and for the girl to judge him and always. Because oppression points? Idk at this point 🤷 There is a reason why all the people in relationships call these videos crazy…. Basing reality on the catered and controlled social media feed (social media has already proven to do whatever it takes to keep you engaged including intentionally suggesting triggering content) is batsh!t This isn’t 2008 the internet is a lie 🙂↕️
😅, I appreciate you but when I heard the women support each other “girl boss” thing, I nearly spit out my water. Teaching is dominated by women and it is INCREDIBLY toxic. I’ve also worked in a Walmart department dominated by women that was also CRAZY toxic (best friends one second, screaming match the next). Even in school, girls were sooooo conniving to point I preferred friendships with guys and to this day, I prefer working with guys. My new boss is SO NICE and polite and it’s a guy. My last two bosses were women and terribly abusive. My husband also tries to minimize work/contact with women because in most cases they are just drama drama drama. I wish this weren’t true, but just sharing from experience that us women have a lot of work to do in the realm of behaving better. Maybe it is the stress of more labor, IDK, but the typical aggression/toxicity is not acceptable. Men definitely need to step up and provide some relief for women for sure, BUT remember it is often women instilling this standard that men don’t even have to be taught these things. My husband and his two brothers were enabled and not taught how to be equal partners at all (my hubby has gotten better because I made it clear what was nonnegotiable for me). My brother was adult and my mom was still fixing his bed, no curfew, gone for days etc while I had to do all my chores, report where I was going, and 10pm curfew each day. So the generational and parental dynamics are definitely at the root of the problem.
Alright...I do agree that women's dominant sectors Could be toxic..but all the things you've mentioned about women doing.. I've experienced that with men as well... I've had male classmates start rumours about my friends which were absolutely false but the boys TM were just jelly that a girl beat him in maths... I've heard male students talk behind my back when I'm Literally still in the hearing range..😂 Infact the thing that people say men aren't smart enough to understand? I've seen men Do that calculative stuff when they want to topple a person they hate.. It's worse because they used that manipulation and that mask of being emotionally dumb to literally Gaslight and assault women.. About your mother being toxic.. It's the same with my mom.. But I do think it's because our mothers were failed by their fathers and husbands who only raised her to believe that the only true respect a woman can gain is male validation while never validating her because again, they view "females inferior than men" even their own daughters.. My grandmother was an angel.. But my grandfather would beat everyone (their own wife and kids😨) black and blue while suckling up to his pals.. He forced my mom to marry a penniless man who was a friend's son and forced her to get a job without formal education. (In that goddamn era where women working was taboo, let alone being forced to.) who died years later after giving her trauma and five miscarriages.. My only lifeline is an amazing brother who is just and recognises my mom's bias.. But sometimes I too wonder if he really is just or just saving me from being k*lled by a mad woman and doing absolutely nothing else.. (in 3rd grade, she beat me black and blue over a lost cardigan, in 7th grade, she had him beat me up because I deleted some of her selfies) i don't blame them, because losing my father was economically tough and I'm probably autistic ( i don't understand social queues, i behave badly, etc) ..but c'mon man.. Yeah..life is rough for me, specifically in the man department.. Thank God I'm bi.😅
@ithinkiknowme6450 it sucks you had an extremely abusive family, but you are literally projecting that as the norm for everyone. Some moms genuinely hate their daughters, for a plethora of reasons. To go a step further, some parents just hate their kids cause they were never meant to have them in the first place. This has nothing to do with "men not respecting women", but on the human condition.
"drizzle drizzle" lol i dont support the sprinkle sprinkle lady, but either way the sprinkle sprinkle was not created out of nowhere, it was created IN RESPONSE to how many men treat women... so the men thinking they created drizzle in response to sprinkle are not thinking enough
@6:45 because of dei, the ability to earn has also been shifted to women ......... The ability to earn a wage for a productive family is extremely hard now so I wouldn't just put that off as that's the only thing the man is expected to do, it's hard Furthermore, there have been more fathers now than in the last 40 years, whom are involved in their kids lives..... So it's not necessarily that men don't participate in child rearing, it's more so that women are having to pay bills now and I don't think that they necessarily like that, it's hard lol
The ability to earn, has never shifted to women,WOMEN ALWAYS EARNED ,what the heck are you even talking about? do you think life started with the Rockefellers or something?, yeah earning is hard, but women are doing that AND taking care of the home along with, and the kids, and even if earning is hard, its only one duty ,women are expected to do multiple things and that will never be equally in the same category as working ,because the woman is doing way more
I will say this I have no problem with "sprinkle sprinkle". I just have a problem with her fan base constantly coming into videos and comments of guys saying what they want in a woman and they always drop that jab of "sprinkle sprinkle". Like they're everywhere wherever a man is trying to be free about what he wants and they just want to drag men down and want to get men to conform to what women want.
i'm starting to avoid Social Media at all costs now. The amount of toxic and dumb cultures that show up at Tiktok, Instagram, etc, is shocking. What happens to actually loving your partner and having a healthy relationship? Or is it that considered boring?
No offense but that was never the case. Unless you consider the domestic violence normalization in the past healthy
@@bgos4727 Of course not but I figured people would have moved on from that time and decided to stop treating their partner like garbage but clearly I'm way too naive.
@@bgos4727comparing what the commenter said abt being present in a relationship to abuse is crazyyy lol what’s wrong with u
I’m happy we’re shifting from the narrative that being single is an inherently bad thing and people need to be in relationships! It’s nice to see our romance heavy society start decentering it a bit
I dunno if I misunderstood, but being single isn’t a bad thing. Not everyone needs or wants a boyfriend. Edit: reread this and I realized I didn’t understand what you were saying. Sorry 😅
@@giaxalyse cope
@@PincheGuey-gc2ordumb
God designed men and women to form a partnership. You should be looking for someone to help elevate you (and likewise). This falls apart once we start looking outside of this. In order to be elevated you must first be on the elevator 🤷🏽♂️
@@5kdaking334 yeah it is a good thing to be friends with different kinds of people. Forming a friendship with men can be nice 🤷♀️
I'm a woman and I don't relate at all to this notion that "women don't bond over activities" and "just because we went to dinner a couple of times doesn't mean we're friends". I feel like I'm from a different planet from people when they talk about this stuff. I absolutely consider other women my friends when we connect over activities. There's a reason most people's friends are people from work, after all, since you spend hours a day doing activities with those people. I don't agree with any of this at all. It's so reductive.
Same. I can also go for months without talking to my girlfriends and we can still pick up where we left off.
Yeah same here! I disagree with the generalizations of both genders. And I think it's interesting that people are framing it as "being embarrassed" by their partner as if there's some kind of audience to your relationship. The first thing I'd be worried about in a relationship is being treated well, not what other people think of how I'm being treated.
The dating culture that's pushed on the internet is just toxic all around I think. I don't see anything wrong with the drizzle drizzle "movement" at all. It's literally just men satirically pointing out how ridiculous it is to base your relationship around money and how much a partner (or date) is willing to spend on you. To each their own though
@@01neveroddoreven10 I don’t think there’s anything wrong with generalising about both genders. There are notable differences between genders when it comes to friendship. It is well documented that female friendships tend to be deeper, with one major factor being that they form emotional bonds through intimate communication. This can probably (amongst other factors) explain why female friendships may experience quicker fallouts if issues arise, compared to their male counterparts.
To clarify, I don’t think generalising means that everyone fits the description, especially when there are no perceived negative connotations in the context of the topic.
@@olumideoyinloye9087the thing is how do you scientifically/ statistically prove any of that? you’re going off based stereotypes. sure, there are differences in how men and women are raised which impacts all sorts of relationships they might have, including friendship. this is nowhere near inherent though (at least you couldn’t prove that it is bc you can’t evaluate sth like that without taking into account the social aspect).
It’s probably true women tend to have deeper connections with their friends, but we need to be mindful that this is only *probably* the case that women *tend to* have more intimate friendships across *most* demographics. in short, we can think it, but we can’t act like these are facts of life.
@@ellevasc here is a link to a research by the NIH.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2869101/
There are hundreds of “Female & Male friendship” studies out there and they all seem to have these points in common.
Also please read the last part of my previous message, I never claimed anything was “fact”.
Do enjoy your day.
I think for me, when I tell toxic guys that I’m waiting for marriage, they drop like FLIES. I also never had sex or had my first kiss, that’s for my husband on our wedding night. My dating pool is now little to none, but I still hold up my standards even if it’s “unrealistic for men”.
Good, that's too bad for the men that can't take that.
@@afrofaeries bwahahaha good luck finding a man that wants to get married! We men have come to understand that marriage is an old played out game where the wife stands to win if she breaks that contract by taking half your stuff… not worth it.
@@afrofaeries lolll good luck finding a man that wants to sign that death contract…
That's a personal choice. I don't necessarily agree with it, as studies have shown intimacy before marriage helps people to find out what they are comfortable with and improves compatibility. People aren't doing it to cut loose, but to better find a partner that can adequately fulfill those needs if/when they do decide to get married.
@@spicymemes7458 can the couple not have discussions to find out what they’re comfy with? They can talk and come to an agreement, why do they have to do the deed before marriage (gen)
Sprinkles and drizzles? What is this ice cream? Are people incapable of talking like mature adults?
Welcome to the internet where maturity is left at the door
People say it’s toxic dump him culture until 1-5 years later when they breakup and expose how dysfunctional the relationship is .
We're not talking about clearly toxic relationships
Dump culture is toxic
@Kiraroyale It's not. The culture is changing, and you will have to shift with it.
Wowowowow so a bad relationship ended wowowowwoow dump ur man that COULD be you
I definitely remember feeling embarrassed about sharing the boys I liked in highschool and it actually really affected my friendships back then, my friends wouldn’t share about their boyfriends w me too, because they knew that the way that they were being treated was not ok to me. I’ve had friends who I have stopped talking to because I couldn’t stand their partners. Because they do insist on staying, and it became unhealthy for our relationship. It’s hard because you don’t want to leave your friend over something like that, but if your friend is only talking about the struggles they’re having w their boyfriend, it’s just hard to have a friendship at that point, and I actually started to resent my friends instead of feeling for them.
When you as a woman are embarrassed of your partner, it actually pushes you away from your friends. It sounds super cheesy but if you don’t share your struggles w your friends either, then you get stuck only depending on your partner. It’s so hard to explain and this video definitely made me remember all the dynamics I experienced back then.
I had a similar situation with my best friend who was in a toxic relationship. Every time she came to me with complaints about how shitty he is I would tell her she deserves better and she should dump him, etc. After like 3 or 4 years of this I just stopped engaging and would change the subject whenever she brought him up and she eventually (and finally) broke it off.
It's a tough situation to be in as a friend, especially when there's abuse involved. Like you want to be there for them but there's only so many times you can listen to someone complain about a situation theyre not really trying to get out of.
@@01neveroddoreven10 yeah it feels like staying and listening is kind of being ok w and condoning the relationship even if you’re actually there to be a friend.
@@5autumndream yeah exactly almost like feeding into it. I'm sorry you lost some friends over it and I'm sorry for them too. It's a frustrating situation to be in all around
I think a lot of people have lost sight of the fact that it is okay to have your own preferences! If a woman wants a man that takes care of her that's perfectly fine. And if she doesn't mind splitting expenses that's okay too. But I think men should remember women nowadays are much likely to hold out for men that fit their requirements rather rhan lowering themselves to their standards. Because being threatened with lifelong singleness by men doesn't really matter as it once did.
Standards? What standards? Lool at all the jerks and losers women swarm around. 😂😂
Appreciate the video tinysey. Although as a man I can’t say I agree with every single thing said. Both men and women should focus on finding partners that truly respect them and treat them well and think there’s a lot of people of every gender who fail to do this. And if you can’t find one right now, don’t feel pressured to settle. I think associating tradwives with having a partner that treats you well is a mistake, but maybe it’s better to live and learn.
Yes I totally agree, thanks for watching🌸
We’re only 1:10 minutes in and I’m already confused af! Like who tf are the ppl being mentioned, wtf is “sprinkle sprinkle”, and what is “drizzle drizzle”? 😵💫 idek dude 🤦🏻♀️
Same here😂
Same here
fr
Same here…😅
im lost as well😭😭
On another note, stay-at-home girlfriend/wife and the loneliness epidemic don’t mesh together well. I had an abusive childhood so I isolated and don’t talk to any old friends or even new ones I made from work. No kids. Barely any family since I’m estranged.
Like personally, I was burnt out from teaching. I had a half-dozen new health issues/allergies come out along with panic attacks and enough was enough. I basically demanded that I stay home to heal for some time and my husband was finally on board after 3 years of my health progressively getting worse. I don’t have half the problems anymore and I’ve lost over 20 pounds, but I’ve been pretty miserable as just a dog mom. If you deal with depression and anxiety, stay-at-home may be a devastating experience. I have a part-time job now that I love and makes me feel better, but it took about 4 months of healing and then 4 months of searching for a job to get to this next chapter of my life where I am feeling okay.
I mean her man has an infant and left his partner who had just had a baby for Sabrina to gallivant the world. It’s wild. He’s totally likely to embarrass her - he has been arrested for being disorderly when going out. Don’t think he’s a bad guy but he had a rough situation growing up.
Why would we justify that bs
@@bgos4727 just because we understand why someone does something doesn’t mean it’s being justified.
He talks often about seeing his kid. He most likely doesn’t have full custody
I don't get why men who don't value their partners get online and say shit like this.
Love the Chowder clip heck yea
Reminds me of when my aunt told me I should be grateful my kids dad stopped by on Easter in 2021 because "well you say he never visits" like mam he's supposed to be raising these kids too.
😅😂 old school women are used to toxic behavior and are shocked and appalled by boundaries and expectations.
Ha did i ever misunderstand the analogy of the bar. I was thinking limbo, we’re talking high jumps? I was like “the lower the bar, the harder to get under” oh geez 🤦🏻♀️
I was thinking of a bar graph
I was thinking of a bar to drink at
i’m sorry but expecting your man to pay for everything all the time by himself especially when dating is insane to me
@@tinymogi for sure. That’s definitely only gonna work for a few people. Very unrealistic expectation.
Soft life = professional housepet
Lol true! Don’t laugh-or do. When I was major depressed I daydreamed about being a fat family house cat. So much better than being a depressed 21 year r old human going through an existential crisis.
Tradition: doormat without pay
Traditional woman: live in maid without pay
the lady talking around 9mins... I do not understand or relate to anything she's saying. I don't go on tiktok but it seems like ppl on there think men and women are completely different species?
As if we aren't all individual humans with different wants and needs :-(( idk. Just kind of depressing to think about living like that
Yeah it says a lot that I was so floored and happy when I discovered my man was not only emotionally mature but also enjoys housework WHILE wanting a housewife 💜
Others judge a woman based on her boyfriend’s actions in her absence. If someone’s actions make you feel ashamed, why stay with them? Why is the way they behave upsetting us? They do not speak for your character. Even if you might not agree with all they do, it is impractical to pressure someone to live up to your standards to improve your image. Why do we live our lives trying to achieve unachievable perfection?
Or don't judge people on the actions of their partner
@@akaInfamous that is literally what i just said
Nah most of my friends are girls and some of us haven't hung out for like a ywar and were still friends ❤️😭
I'm so grateful I found the man I have now... I had to wait until my mid 30s to find a mature man.
The thing with expecting guys to be 'old fashioned/traditional' etc and pay for everything, is that you then have to be okay with them expecting the old fashioned, traditional things from you. I personally would rather pay for my own coffee/dinner/any beauty treatments I opt for and have equally split housework, but different strokes for different folks I guess. Just don't expect to have your cake and eat it too
It can never be really equal. He can never split childbirth and breastfeeding
@@ElizabethUkeh Just because individual tasks can't be split down the middle doesn't mean it can't still be equal. Eg if one partner is breastfeeding/pumping, maybe the other partner is responsible for everything else feeding related- sterilising bottles, burping, cooking meals, feeding other children, etc. It's about finding a division of labour that's equitable for you. I'm entirely responsible for the car, my partner is entirely responsible for the pets- things like that. I also don't think things like childbirth and breastfeeding really factor into early relationship behaviours- if you've been with someone three months is the thought process REALLY 'he needs to pay for my eyelash extensions because one day we might get married and have kids and then I'll be breastfeeding'? Even then- the extra support when the hypothetical kids come will be a lot more valuable than beauty treatments or margs. Not saying guys can't do both, but just thinking if you bring old fashioned values into dating, don't be too shocked if they do the same.
literally
@@ElizabethUkehyou’re 🤪 huh?
If you’re doing a tally in your head, you shouldn’t be wasting the time of another human. You aren’t ready for a relationship 💯
If people want a rich man they should go for a rich man, not harass normal men for unreasonable things 🤢
I’m just happy someone is pointing out the dysfunction within the dating world. Every time people do on TikTok or instagram women will attack each other. It’s tearing us apart more than it brings us together.
*Me watching this video essay knowing damn well I get no male attention whatsoever and it may remain that way regardless of how much I develop through life* :
👁👄👁☕️
women have always been in a hierarchy based on how men treat them, this doesn't seem new at all (@ the tiktok in the beginning)
No offense to Simone but she set herself to be disrespected and keeps setting herself up and has so little insight in how a man treats & talks about a woman he cherishes and feels lucky to have (both partners should feel this way). Idk why she wasn’t taught this but she has a history of “telling on herself” of how she feels about herself - i first noticed when she shared with the whole world that if she had a movie done about her she wanted to be portrayed Zendaya Coleman (lmfao).
She sometimes tries to use reverse psychology when people are pointing out how little this woman values herself _(by saying things like commentators are actually the ones who want her to hate herself rather than her doing that fine on her own and her commentators simply wanting her to hold herself to a higher standard)_ but everyone sees right through it. It’s kinda sad but she’s a grown woman and is probably too smug with other women to actually listen so whatever happens in her relationship happens. Hopefully it improves but I’m not getting my hopes up
“Insecure” is your middle name my gawd 🫢 are you psychic? You say it’s sad but then call her smug? You sound like you need to organize your house first. Feigning care to insult people is pathetic
I haven't even watched the video. I'm just commenting on the title -- they have always been a liability. Women, for millenia, have excused the XYs behavior as "boys will be boys" and just suffered through it. 😔
Exactly this. Men have always been a liability when it comes to womens health and overall well-being, for CENTURIES. I personally believe women thrive the most when they are in women dominant spaces or social groups, whilst single or married to another woman. Not saying a woman can’t be happy with a man, but I don’t think she can be at her happiest and most secure state.
Like an idiot,the pick me's
When I tell you I've been WAITING for somone to address thissssssssssss!!!!!!!
Man who tf are all these people?
Do stay at home girlfriends have to poop while their boyfriend is at work? It seems like being sick or having bodily functions is not part of that aesthetic. Curious.
Who brags about being sick 😅
Criticism noted, you don’t like girls who have a non sickly aesthetic 😂
You might be onto something here lmao
Hello, the flashing background showing the portrait clips really hurt the eyes 😵💫
Chowder
I think that at the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their own preferences when it comes to dating but I do find it funny that men have made being the "providers" in the relationship the norm for centuries, only to now complain about it and try to shift the blame onto women. like damn what more do you want from us ??? on a lighter note, I'm very happy to see so many women wanting better for themselves, you go ladies
I don't think that any of the men complaining about this are the men that were alive centuries ago....
My issue with "the bare minimum" is that the term has to mean something measurable. Once women started changing what counted as the bare minimum five times a week, based on whatever new thing they saw on TikTok that day, it became a rigged game for men. And once men determined that the game is rigged the smart move is not to play.
If someone called what I did for my husband the “bare minimum” or what he did for me the “bare minimum” I would be so pissed because we do all that I can.
Some people use the term in a relatively fair way but there are so many people using to mean “enough to keep me from leaving immediately but not as much as I want for my personal gratification” and it’s ridiculous
Men who aren’t engaging with women because of it are only making themselves miss out. I don’t have TikTok or other social media profiles and haven’t been brainwashed and neither has the company I keep. It’s not that hard to find a woman who is critical of what she sees online, just don’t date women who whine and complain about men online and you’re good. There’s billions of people in the world and online algorithms have a negativity bias- it’s really good at making the minority of women/men in the world seem like a larger percentage than it is in reality
@@maenad1231 You're not wrong, but you are missing a large factor in this calculation. Marriage is supposed to be forever, but you can only account for this influence in the present as a man. If the women that a man marries starts following this content 5 years later he's still screwed; if she starts watching it 10 or 20 years later he's still screwed. Society right now does not want people to be happily married, so it's not enough to marry someone because they are a good person, if they can't withstand decades of attack from the world around them.
For people who want to leave the country, to date I think this is one of the reasons. Its easier to date in a society that supports marriage, but here you have to factor in the endurance of the woman that you choose because society will try to come at her everyday until your marriage breaks.
Tiptoeing on eggshells is what people don’t do for long, not without deep bonds
And you’re not gonna get that having vapid conditional love 🤷
Is expecting partnership and reciprocation “teetering on the edge of red pill?” Is that where we are now?
You’re right, red pill isn’t the correct category for how he was speaking. Bringing up drizzle drizzle was just ignorant and petty.
I said the same thing. Gen z girls are trending misandrist and Gen z boys are trending misogynist (obv not this case)😅
They lack consistent morality, looking for a double standard. Everything is gendered and racialized, like give it a fvcking rest 🙄 I blame horoscopes and fox news bigotry 😂
People talk about race like they did in the 1800, it’s like we’re different species, identifying labels as borders is a weird as concept. Fun fact: society was more integrated in the 90s. We’re going backwards 😅
@18:54 nobody has gotten better at selecting their mate, that is why the divorce rate is going into the 60% range..... Men conflate the women that will allow them to take them out on a date, for women that will commit to them. Same thing for women, women conflate the men that will sleep with them with the men that will commit to them
One thing true amongst men is that providing puts a huge mental pressure on all of us, especially since even if a woman is working, the majority of men won’t count on their partner’s salary since we are taught to be the sole providers as well as be strong and always lead. Having said that, what Jalen mentioned actually comes close to what you’re saying here about the standard: provider can’t only be financial because we, as humans, actually need more than that, so also being present and non tangible acts are also involved in providing and sadly is the point a lot of people are desperate to ignore.
I always assumed taylor swift started the"dump him" culture
It isn’t enough to have a boyfriend. My expectations are so high after dating this one person they did all the cooking. They were really good with their emotions and helping me process my own emotions and it was also really hot that they were an artist and would draw me regularly.
was he tall too?
What is the standard for men 2024. And what would be exceeding set expectation? I don’t wanna talk about money what are physical and emotional things that they should be doing
Cooking,cleaning,taking care of their kids, emotionally,financially and physically and not a cheater ,if you don't have a man like this in your life(marriage),he is useless and you are his second mother,and if you stay with a man who is not like this ,then you are an idiot ,and you and the useless being are going to breed the next generation of pick me women and useless men, is this harsh? Having a man appearing child is harsh
I just came across your channel and I am ready to binge watch. Love your video essays ❤️
Thank you 🌸 welcome
WHAT THE FUCK IS A SPRINKLE SPRINKLE DRIZZLE DRIZZLE??? IM SUPPOSRD TO UNDERSTAND THIS😭
I feel like what he said vs Jonathan Owens situation are different. Being a guy wanting to be taken out is a right feeling to have. Women and Men should feel that.
it’s for the penis-haver to pay for an unaffordable lifestyle and make it a Disneyland Experience for her or he’s a pos 😅 and for the girl to judge him and always. Because oppression points? Idk at this point 🤷 There is a reason why all the people in relationships call these videos crazy…. Basing reality on the catered and controlled social media feed (social media has already proven to do whatever it takes to keep you engaged including intentionally suggesting triggering content) is batsh!t
This isn’t 2008 the internet is a lie 🙂↕️
😅, I appreciate you but when I heard the women support each other “girl boss” thing, I nearly spit out my water.
Teaching is dominated by women and it is INCREDIBLY toxic. I’ve also worked in a Walmart department dominated by women that was also CRAZY toxic (best friends one second, screaming match the next). Even in school, girls were sooooo conniving to point I preferred friendships with guys and to this day, I prefer working with guys. My new boss is SO NICE and polite and it’s a guy. My last two bosses were women and terribly abusive. My husband also tries to minimize work/contact with women because in most cases they are just drama drama drama.
I wish this weren’t true, but just sharing from experience that us women have a lot of work to do in the realm of behaving better. Maybe it is the stress of more labor, IDK, but the typical aggression/toxicity is not acceptable.
Men definitely need to step up and provide some relief for women for sure, BUT remember it is often women instilling this standard that men don’t even have to be taught these things. My husband and his two brothers were enabled and not taught how to be equal partners at all (my hubby has gotten better because I made it clear what was nonnegotiable for me). My brother was adult and my mom was still fixing his bed, no curfew, gone for days etc while I had to do all my chores, report where I was going, and 10pm curfew each day. So the generational and parental dynamics are definitely at the root of the problem.
Alright...I do agree that women's dominant sectors Could be toxic..but all the things you've mentioned about women doing.. I've experienced that with men as well...
I've had male classmates start rumours about my friends which were absolutely false but the boys TM were just jelly that a girl beat him in maths...
I've heard male students talk behind my back when I'm Literally still in the hearing range..😂
Infact the thing that people say men aren't smart enough to understand? I've seen men Do that calculative stuff when they want to topple a person they hate..
It's worse because they used that manipulation and that mask of being emotionally dumb to literally Gaslight and assault women..
About your mother being toxic..
It's the same with my mom.. But I do think it's because our mothers were failed by their fathers and husbands who only raised her to believe that the only true respect a woman can gain is male validation while never validating her because again, they view "females inferior than men" even their own daughters..
My grandmother was an angel.. But my grandfather would beat everyone (their own wife and kids😨) black and blue while suckling up to his pals.. He forced my mom to marry a penniless man who was a friend's son and forced her to get a job without formal education. (In that goddamn era where women working was taboo, let alone being forced to.) who died years later after giving her trauma and five miscarriages..
My only lifeline is an amazing brother who is just and recognises my mom's bias..
But sometimes I too wonder if he really is just or just saving me from being k*lled by a mad woman and doing absolutely nothing else.. (in 3rd grade, she beat me black and blue over a lost cardigan, in 7th grade, she had him beat me up because I deleted some of her selfies) i don't blame them, because losing my father was economically tough and I'm probably autistic ( i don't understand social queues, i behave badly, etc) ..but c'mon man..
Yeah..life is rough for me, specifically in the man department..
Thank God I'm bi.😅
i work blue collar. men are the same they just often pretend to hide it
@@ithinkiknowme6450 That’s fair. Good points, ty for sharing. 🫶🏼
@ithinkiknowme6450 it sucks you had an extremely abusive family, but you are literally projecting that as the norm for everyone. Some moms genuinely hate their daughters, for a plethora of reasons. To go a step further, some parents just hate their kids cause they were never meant to have them in the first place. This has nothing to do with "men not respecting women", but on the human condition.
🌻🌻🌻
"drizzle drizzle" lol i dont support the sprinkle sprinkle lady, but either way the sprinkle sprinkle was not created out of nowhere, it was created IN RESPONSE to how many men treat women... so the men thinking they created drizzle in response to sprinkle are not thinking enough
The only thing you fear is when a man tells the truth
Too vague, definitely sounds like misogyny 😂
Truth to his bros or pick me's?
@6:45 because of dei, the ability to earn has also been shifted to women ......... The ability to earn a wage for a productive family is extremely hard now so I wouldn't just put that off as that's the only thing the man is expected to do, it's hard
Furthermore, there have been more fathers now than in the last 40 years, whom are involved in their kids lives..... So it's not necessarily that men don't participate in child rearing, it's more so that women are having to pay bills now and I don't think that they necessarily like that, it's hard lol
The ability to earn, has never shifted to women,WOMEN ALWAYS EARNED ,what the heck are you even talking about? do you think life started with the Rockefellers or something?, yeah earning is hard, but women are doing that AND taking care of the home along with, and the kids, and even if earning is hard, its only one duty ,women are expected to do multiple things and that will never be equally in the same category as working ,because the woman is doing way more
So men bond like children, children bond depending on shared activities, because children don't have any emotional situations to share between them
I will say this I have no problem with "sprinkle sprinkle". I just have a problem with her fan base constantly coming into videos and comments of guys saying what they want in a woman and they always drop that jab of "sprinkle sprinkle". Like they're everywhere wherever a man is trying to be free about what he wants and they just want to drag men down and want to get men to conform to what women want.
Men expressing sexuality? Bad. Women telling man to pay for expensive lifestyle during recession? Good and moral
🙂↔️
And women wonder why young men are turning away from feminism now.
Bro what?
@@john_316_☠️