When the Empath thinks they are the Narcissist

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  • Опубліковано 21 сер 2024
  • #empath #relationships #codependency
    When the Empath thinks they are the Narcissist
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 965

  • @aprilchow-chee5281
    @aprilchow-chee5281 4 роки тому +1002

    When you said empaths take on the role of a narcissist in order to survive amongst narcissists. That hit home

    • @dritanstojanovic4576
      @dritanstojanovic4576 3 роки тому +9

      The only thing that hit home for us covert narcissist is when we do all kind of bad things behind a closed door and yall might never find out

    • @kelliohara3233
      @kelliohara3233 3 роки тому +12

      I'm such a mess

    • @valriegerlitzki5909
      @valriegerlitzki5909 3 роки тому +3

      Generally most people pattern after what they admire most. What do you admire most ?

    • @brittanymenke6009
      @brittanymenke6009 3 роки тому +18

      That hit home for me to. I thought I was becoming manipulative to cope. Almost like I knew what to say to calm them down. Support to everyone ❤️

    • @larryofromthedoffical8318
      @larryofromthedoffical8318 3 роки тому +11

      I'm thought I was going crazy til I watched this

  • @brittl1414
    @brittl1414 4 роки тому +654

    ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEE?
    Literally I haven't slept in like a week because of this agonizing fear of being a toxic person 😭😭😭

    • @denisesorenson4000
      @denisesorenson4000 3 роки тому +41

      A narcissis wants you to believe you are the sick one it enables them to once again be the victim that needs to be protected from the person they have abused in order to feel good about themself. Ugh, know it's not you.

    • @Dujourdesigns
      @Dujourdesigns 3 роки тому +13

      Omgggggggggg me tooooooooo. I’m like.... did I do this????

    • @ashleypadilla357
      @ashleypadilla357 3 роки тому +20

      This happened to me too, but I'm sure this is only proof in itself, the fear of being bad and toxic shows you arent.

    • @grgugel
      @grgugel 3 роки тому +6

      Exactly my dilemma. This is so reassuring!

    • @tahlleibovitz3187
      @tahlleibovitz3187 3 роки тому +3

      That only proves you are not a toxic person!

  • @suncluster
    @suncluster 4 роки тому +370

    I am not the narcissist but when I get the balls to actually stand up for myself I will project all of the pain I have received onto the other person. It’s not a good strategy I completely understand that.

    • @keithmccaslyn2527
      @keithmccaslyn2527 3 роки тому +1

      check out lighthealing.com the personal rejuvenizer alone clears tons of old stuff,from childhood as well as the sessional clearings,the books-with applicable techniques for daily use and more.... "YOU can heal your life" by Louise sites.google.com/site/21feb19v/7Xp0LoI7J9727 free PDF book, and at lighthealing.com you can find " Love Now,heres How" by Dr.Phyllis Light Ph.D. awesome ,empowering real life- applicable techniques..the book,content is much much deeper than the hokey title!! The book was originally titles " Opening your heart to Love' but once the pulisher's got a hold of it,they changed it. weird but true. Emotional healing aid and pain relief... the technology in this is incredible. decades ahead,kind of stuff.No bull ,no selling,sharing in the Light... heres the link:
      www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-4-0/
      Love Candace's work too,..the combo is awesome in book!! all the best.

    • @cowboymalliefit6106
      @cowboymalliefit6106 3 роки тому +3

      Same here!!!

    • @johncorson6599
      @johncorson6599 3 роки тому +14

      Reactive abuse .. you may have figured that one out be now (1 year ago). I have done that in the past and had no idea WHY I was doing it then it was twisted back on me to compound my pain. After I ended the relationship and later had relationships I didn’t do it anymore as there was no need as the abuse I received in the new relationship(s) was minimal relatively speaking compared to a covert malignant narc

    • @MassMultiplayer
      @MassMultiplayer 2 роки тому +1

      depend what work.. empath, neutral, narcist.
      some PN hate neutrality, some hate dueling narcist, some hate super empath
      the worst is being a weak empath with softness and whining, then its free draining

    • @dalenjurgens6751
      @dalenjurgens6751 2 роки тому +2

      Is it unavoidable though? I dunno yet. I hurt someone badly recently. Just plain difficult.

  • @Jessicadeborahloves
    @Jessicadeborahloves 4 роки тому +336

    That's how someone becomes a narcissist in the first place. They sucked in the environment from their own childhood and never found the self-awareness to rewire that. We all have narcissistic traits, it's self-awareness that will help us not to project our issues on others. ❤️

    • @coles7811
      @coles7811 4 роки тому +19

      Exactly. True NPD is shaped in childhood and there’s usually a complete lack of self awareness because it’s their normal. It’s not unusual for adults to go through abuse and build their own armor up for protection - the difference is, the self awareness is there. Someone who truly has NPD can begin to heal and shed their armor once they become self aware. People need to stop overusing the term “narcissist,” we all have some narcissistic traits to us, but true NPD (with the lack of self awareness) is actually RARE

    • @Jessicadeborahloves
      @Jessicadeborahloves 4 роки тому +5

      pneumatictrousers I think it's possible, mostly because I was one of the most unconscious people and I've managed to deep breathe and keep my ego in check before responding to situations around me. I think the labels programme people in to thinking these things can't be healed.

    • @Jessicadeborahloves
      @Jessicadeborahloves 4 роки тому +9

      Cole S Agreed! These traits are in human nature, it's to do with the ego keeping us safe, I feel. Trouble is we have become shamed because of our darkness and afraid of it. We repress things and labels like this make some people believe it's impossible to heal. I'm aware that it takes someone to gain some self awareness, but I think people need to be in the right environment for that. If they're constantly around someone that triggers them and drains their energy, it's nigh on impossible to heal. We need the right environment, but unfortunately people keep parents around and never learn to set healthy boundaries. My mum is so unconscious of herself at times, but I used to be exactly the same until I went travelling and separated myself from that energy. I healed the victim mindset and kept my space from her until I managed to establish healthy boundaries for myself... now we actually have an okay relationship because she doesn't trigger me so the energy that she used to feed from is no longer there. It's all very interesting, but my healing has helped my mum too in ways.

    • @sarapatch616
      @sarapatch616 3 роки тому

      Very true!!!

    • @keithmccaslyn2527
      @keithmccaslyn2527 3 роки тому

      and that good shit is very very clear-able & healable too...check out lighthealing.com the personal rejuvenizer alone clears tons of old stuff,from childhood as well as the sessional clearings,the books-with applicable techniques for daily use and more.... "YOU can heal your life" by Louise sites.google.com/site/21feb19v/7Xp0LoI7J9727 free PDF book, and at lighthealing.com you can find " Love Now,heres How" by Dr.Phyllis Light Ph.D. awesome ,empowering real life- applicable techniques..the book,content is much much deeper than the hokey title!! The book was originally titles " Opening your heart to Love' but once the pulisher's got a hold of it,they changed it. weird but true. Emotional healing aid and pain relief... the technology in this is incredible. decades ahead,kind of stuff.No bull ,no selling,sharing in the Light... heres the link:
      www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-4-0/
      Love Candace's work too,..the combo is awesome in book!! all the best.

  • @theresistance3818
    @theresistance3818 4 роки тому +339

    .... You nailed it. However, what I feel you failed to mention is that you can't have a NEW life until you let go of the OLD one. You can't TRULY become a new person, healed and changed, if you are still living amongst the same dysfunctional life, with the same dysfunctional people. It's like a "re-covering" alcoholic hanging out at bar.

    • @LivingTrancefully
      @LivingTrancefully 4 роки тому +3

      The Resistance - well said. this is a great video.

    • @stephanielagares4817
      @stephanielagares4817 4 роки тому +21

      No, because you have the option to drink at a bar, in a dysfunctional family you are being forced to wear a mask you don't want to.

    • @messywalk
      @messywalk 4 роки тому

      The Resistance Wow, this was... I needed to hear that.

    • @LivingTrancefully
      @LivingTrancefully 4 роки тому +1

      Messy Walk - I’m sorry if someone has mistaken you for a narcissist when you are an empath...

    • @bridgetmenham5103
      @bridgetmenham5103 4 роки тому +2

      ThaTs where the lock down is good for some of us to keep no contact with narcsisist

  • @bumberClart1000
    @bumberClart1000 4 роки тому +798

    When the narcissistic think they are the empath 😷☝️

    • @magalic3213
      @magalic3213 4 роки тому +78

      Covert...so twisted.

    • @N0KlA-33IO
      @N0KlA-33IO 4 роки тому +47

      Same scene here.! She literally makes up her own story in her mind in which Every bad thing is happening to her. And then she blames me for that... literally for everything...and later on she says I try to help everyone everytime yet you guys never care about me.
      it's so exhausting explaining them every fucking time and on top of that get blamed for apologizing more and explaining myself . i don't know what the fuck was going on in my life since 8 months

    • @cinnamongirl2566
      @cinnamongirl2566 4 роки тому +80

      I know. I’ve noticed WAY more narcissists claiming to be empaths than the other way around!

    • @babdullah5025
      @babdullah5025 4 роки тому +3

      @@magalic3213
      Also the overt.

    • @babdullah5025
      @babdullah5025 4 роки тому +12

      @@cinnamongirl2566
      True. When I'd go no contact with my narc & psycho sister in law she'd tell me "if we have no contact who'd carry and hug your son"? 🤔😂😂 but my son doesn't need a hug from a pscycho who makes his mom's life miserable 😡

  • @ryandearmun
    @ryandearmun 4 роки тому +479

    When I get hurt in a relationship or have a painful breakup I can act pretty narcissistic. Not proud but it's the truth

    • @candacecasey5634
      @candacecasey5634 4 роки тому +63

      We can all get like that when we have been hurt. It's just an extreme form of self care.

    • @kisigma1102
      @kisigma1102 4 роки тому +2

      @Hellboy exactly

    • @vernetcudjoe83
      @vernetcudjoe83 4 роки тому +9

      Been struggling with this

    • @kisigma1102
      @kisigma1102 4 роки тому +9

      @@vernetcudjoe83 just make sure u take care of ur self very well hit the gym and buy clothes that make u comfortable

    • @Jessicadeborahloves
      @Jessicadeborahloves 4 роки тому +19

      So can every human being! It's the awareness that makes a difference! ❤️

  • @BenG-vf7et
    @BenG-vf7et 3 роки тому +40

    As I listened to this, I thought, No, I’m not a narcissist, I was just gas lighted very effectively.

  • @kalinsage2063
    @kalinsage2063 3 роки тому +102

    10 years and I’m crying and shaking because he’s got me feeling like I’m so crazy and it’s all in my head I question my own reality now , I second guess every decision , honestly I can’t make decisions, I get insecure that my sentences don’t make sense when I talk to strangers because he always makes me feel like nothing I say makes sense

    • @bartrotters68
      @bartrotters68 3 роки тому +10

      Uh.. hello. Get the f out of that

    • @kalinsage2063
      @kalinsage2063 3 роки тому +11

      I’ve been out ALMOST a month (June 12th) 🖤 it’s hard he’s treating me like I’m the bad guy now , he keeps going in waves of treating me like I’m evil and then acting all sweet like he misses me and then when I don’t give in he gets back mean, I can’t go no contact because we do share a child but I keep the contact minimal and I actually already feel better , I have my weak moments but overall I know this is what I have to do.

    • @judevucovich7068
      @judevucovich7068 2 роки тому +6

      One step at a time, start building your life and keep it a secret or you will shut down again due to mirror imaging and devaluation. After 46 yrs of marriage and children all grown up and it isn’t worth the children to go through and it isn’t going to change. It is always going to be about their insecurities and the emotional feeling you have to try and help them.. they choose to be who they are. And it is all about them… you will have no more light in your heart and you will end up on the cough crying for 24 hrs/7 days a week/365 days a year. For as long as your with them… try to remember what it was like and who you were before you had a relationship with this person. If you divorce, do it quick and quietly. They usually win… so let it go and be happy you did… not worth the time you will spend trying to figure this out.

    • @belladonna2104
      @belladonna2104 2 роки тому +8

      After a little while you will feel like a different person if you get away from him 🤗🤗 PS you make perfect sense

    • @d.thiellier1724
      @d.thiellier1724 2 роки тому +2

  • @itshinaafzal
    @itshinaafzal 4 роки тому +155

    I grew up with a narcissistic dad which really took a toll on how I navigated the world and especially romantic relationships. I built up this hard exterior which was amplified when I found myself in a relationship with a narcissistic ex. Coming out of that relationship, I was completely hardened up. I remember trying to date afterward and I just could not bring myself to caring about anyone other than myself (which in hindsight, I realize that being selfish was an integral part of my healing process but it should have not been at the expense of other people). There was a huge disconnect between who I was and who I wanted to be. I remember thinking about how much I missed being soft and gentle and feeling all of my emotions. It really took meeting my empath husband (aside from self awareness) to be able to let down those walls again and be completely free. He gave me the safety I so desperately needed. He's the best thing that ever happened to me and I love him more than I can put into words. 🥺🥺🥺

    • @keithmccaslyn2527
      @keithmccaslyn2527 3 роки тому +1

      check out lighthealing.com the personal rejuvenizer alone clears tons of old stuff,from childhood as well as the sessional clearings,the books-with applicable techniques for daily use and more.... "YOU can heal your life" by Louise sites.google.com/site/21feb19v/7Xp0LoI7J9727 free PDF book, and at lighthealing.com you can find " Love Now,heres How" by Dr.Phyllis Light Ph.D. awesome ,empowering real life- applicable techniques..the book,content is much much deeper than the hokey title!! The book was originally titles " Opening your heart to Love' but once the pulisher's got a hold of it,they changed it. weird but true. Emotional healing aid and pain relief... the technology in this is incredible. decades ahead,kind of stuff.No bull ,no selling,sharing in the Light... heres the link:
      www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-4-0/
      Love Candace's work too,..the combo is awesome in book!! all the best.

    • @luna84_
      @luna84_ 2 роки тому +2

      So happy for you darling 💜😌

    • @mercymunoz1408
      @mercymunoz1408 2 роки тому

      WOW I could relate so much to what you said. Everything WOW.

    • @umbrascitor2079
      @umbrascitor2079 2 роки тому +1

      I was that empath for someone for about eight mostly-awesome months before she found another guy who gave her a more "resonant" connection and decided I wasn't worth her concern anymore.
      I wish her well.

    • @KayMed.1
      @KayMed.1 2 роки тому +2

      @@umbrascitor2079 that person leaving did not take away from how awesome you are. Continue to shine!

  • @Libra_Girl.
    @Libra_Girl. 4 роки тому +233

    Isn't that what Narcisissts do? They punish us for having qualities they don't have ...

    • @greenIMONSTER008
      @greenIMONSTER008 4 роки тому +3

      Yup

    • @tahsina.c
      @tahsina.c 4 роки тому +68

      I feel narcissistic for even calling myself an empath the struggle is real lmao

    • @Libra_Girl.
      @Libra_Girl. 4 роки тому +2

      @@tahsina.c I know right. Lol

    • @khanhducnguyen1239
      @khanhducnguyen1239 4 роки тому +16

      tahsina choudhury it’s okay though. Narcissist would never question their own sanity. Why would they do that when they truly believe they are perfect?

    • @tahsina.c
      @tahsina.c 4 роки тому +19

      @@khanhducnguyen1239 by that logic there really can't be too many "narcissists" out there, I think narcissistic people can be self aware, from personal experience they usually are aware of how self obsessed they are compared to others- theyre just usually in denial bc accepting that would mean admitting their own flaws that they prefer to have others believe they don't have. Theyre not Disney villains, they're complex and human and in the end of the day they have more in common with us than many self proclaimed "empaths" like to admit

  • @gcrazy64
    @gcrazy64 4 роки тому +254

    I see a lot of people confusing empath with codependent

    • @MarkSven888
      @MarkSven888 4 роки тому +31

      SBOGT you can be both

    • @gcrazy64
      @gcrazy64 4 роки тому +8

      Mark from Midgard I missed the part where I said you couldn’t

    • @MarkSven888
      @MarkSven888 4 роки тому +6

      SBOGT jus sayin’

    • @quikdon
      @quikdon 4 роки тому +4

      What is the difference of empath and codependent?

    • @gcrazy64
      @gcrazy64 4 роки тому +25

      quikdon just to make a long story short a Empath is someone that feels for other ppl deeply. Ever heard of someone showing empathy? Codependent is a person that needs to DO for other ppl or needs other ppl period. Hence the word DEPENDENT.

  • @sparklydiamond
    @sparklydiamond 4 роки тому +71

    I turned into my narcissistic mum in my last relationship and destroyed it. I didn’t even realise I was acting the way I was until my ex told me, and it was too late to save our relationship. I’m a lot more self-aware now that I know how I’m capable of acting. I haven’t been in a relationship since, but I’m hoping I’ll never act that way again.

    • @Nadine9534
      @Nadine9534 4 роки тому +13

      no-name he was probably abusive and saw that this is a vulnerability for you so he gaslit you into believing this

    • @sparklydiamond
      @sparklydiamond 4 роки тому +7

      dinky He was emotionally abusive and did gaslight me, however I was acting a little crazy. To be honest, it was him who brought it out of me because he was cheating on me.

    • @sheilaally9490
      @sheilaally9490 4 роки тому +6

      @@sparklydiamond he made you that

    • @sparklydiamond
      @sparklydiamond 4 роки тому +5

      sheila ally I think he played a big part in it, but I have to take responsibility. I was acting like a crazy b and should have stopped and self-reflected.

    • @douglastuten5340
      @douglastuten5340 3 роки тому +1

      sheila ally you are trying to gaslight no name

  • @caiteva2622
    @caiteva2622 4 роки тому +69

    This has crossed my mind before... I grew up around narcissistic/sociopathic/manipulative types and went through emotional abuse, had my boundaries disregarded etc. So every time I set a perfectly healthy boundary or have to remind someone of boundaries I've set for myself, I've noticed myself saying I'm narcissistic in my head, definitely food for thought. Thanks for making this 🙏

    • @Nadine9534
      @Nadine9534 4 роки тому +14

      Cait Eva yeah narcissists want us to feel like our boundaries are mean so they can keep abusing us

    • @Lucretciela
      @Lucretciela 4 роки тому +5

      That must have been hard for you growing up.

    • @ashley-fk6dp
      @ashley-fk6dp 4 роки тому +1

      Don't care. What u have u are fit as fuck

  • @humble_raghav
    @humble_raghav 4 роки тому +34

    I just let go of a narcissist today. I feel free.

    • @danaellis6684
      @danaellis6684 4 роки тому

      How

    • @humble_raghav
      @humble_raghav 4 роки тому +2

      Dana Ellis Love your self more. Know the differece in words your self and yourself. Love the self.

  • @Ana-rb7ws
    @Ana-rb7ws 3 роки тому +14

    “Sheep in wolves’ clothing” - that hit home. I’ve been told that my bark is worse than my bite. It’s a defense mechanism.

  • @asiakym
    @asiakym 3 роки тому +9

    I think that I used to be an empath, but after being in a 10-year relationship with a narcissist that almost completely destroyed me, damaged my soul, change the way that I viewed myself and others and even change some of my core spiritual beliefs, that it changed me so much for the worse that I'm afraid I am now a narcissist. I don't have empathy for others anymore, when people tell me about their suffering, I automatically believe that they are lying and trying to manipulate/use me because it's been well known that I'm (used to be)willing to help almost anyone, even people I don't know, and it's to the extent that I look very stupid. For example, someone told me at Christmas that they sponsored a family of four and did not have anything for them a week before Christmas. So I went out and spent about $4,000 buying everything for a family of four and gave it to the girl who claimed she had sponsored the family. I found out later from a mutual friend that she made the whole story up. There was no family. She had taken everything I gave her and sold it and kept the money. I have also been robbed several times because I allowed people to stay in my home because they had nowhere to stay. This has happened so frequently in the last few years that now I feel numb to it. As soon as someone tells me a sad story I automatically judge them and believe that they are lying and trying to hustle me and I just feel so cold-hearted towards anyone who comes to me asking for help anymore. I don't feel sorry for them at all anymore and in fact I automatically feel defensive and even look down on them as being horrible, calculated and dishonest people who are trying to take advantage of me. It really bothers me a lot that because I used so little discernment in the past, and saw the good in everyone in the past, that I now seem incapable of seeing the good in anyone at all anymore.
    I truly believe that narcissism is something that is contagious because much to my horror and shame, it is something I believe I have been infected by and it makes me even more sad that they say there is no cure for it, that you can never change back. I wish I would have continued to tolerate having my heart broken instead of hardening it to protect it from being broken because now I fear, I may have rendered it unbreakable. At least you can heal from a broken heart but a hard heart, I can rationalize, is not something you can turn back from.
    So for those of you who are dealing with a narcissistic relationship and continue to stay in hopes of saving the narcissistic person that you love, make sure that you do not stay so long that you lose yourself and your gift to empathize with others. Make sure that you do not give everything away, you must hold at least this one thing back for yourself or like me, you may wake up one day and be horrified to realize that you no longer have it to give to anyone anymore.

    • @judydavies791
      @judydavies791 2 роки тому +2

      Andrea Kim your post that I just read was from 11 months ago, I surely hope that you have found peace. I’m exactly where you were then. But your words are giving me the strength to stay aware and wise enough to know the difference. I continue to educate myself to know and believe in myself. Stay strong and never lose faith in yourself.

  • @fashionsocial11
    @fashionsocial11 3 роки тому +11

    I thought I was crazy but then I came across this video and realized I been around so many narcs that I been picking up their horrible personality disorders. Who we surround ourselves with has an impact on us whether we believe it or not. It is so important for people, especially empaths to be aware of who we expose ourselves to.

  • @user-mi6ul1bq3t
    @user-mi6ul1bq3t 4 роки тому +57

    Very good point. No wonder I've been bullying myself about being narcissistic. Hit me right in the feels that one. Thank you.
    My two cents:
    Narcissist-Empath and vice versa. Does not really matter which one you think you are. They are two polar opposites. A narcissist needs their mirror. Without their reflection in the outside world they don't know who they are. They have learned they are dependent on it for survival. They believe it is up to the mirror to tell them how to behave, what to believe and who to be. Letting go of the mirror means fucking death. Empaths on the other hand are the exact same thing but have healed the dependent part of them. They are connected to their inner being. Both narc. and emp. are very sensitive one is using that ability to isolate and manipulate the other - to connect and uplift.

  • @dragonheartmomma616
    @dragonheartmomma616 4 роки тому +11

    I have been carrying around so much guilt and shame because i really thought i was a narcissist . I saw this video pop up at the perfect time. Thanks you.

  • @urbctwentyeight
    @urbctwentyeight 4 роки тому +42

    It took me a lot of years to learn that I had weak boundaries and only discovered pieced together everything after seeing a psychologist and lot of self care and healing ...Yes many times I questioned am I really hurting ppl and am I the narctissic person in these people's lives without realizing it? Double guessing from all the gaslighting and manipulation and I wasn't being true to myself would let things slide agree to things I didn't want to would say yes when I wanted to say no etc ....

  • @RipMyTamagachi
    @RipMyTamagachi 4 роки тому +13

    My therapist literally told me psychiatrists don't usually take on narcissist clients because they're's just no getting through, so by her being my therapist, not to worry 😅

  • @MollyVSmurl
    @MollyVSmurl Рік тому +2

    “The reason we’re afraid of something happening is because of the meaning we’ve attached to it” - CLEAR CUT GOLDDDD 🎉🎉

  • @trisha1217
    @trisha1217 4 роки тому +98

    Thank you for speaking on topics like this it’s hard for me to put my emotions into words and you did it perfectly

  • @blissfullyfree8536
    @blissfullyfree8536 3 роки тому +8

    The universe wanted me to watch this. I’ve been struggling with this for the past couple months. And the timing on this video is 11:11. 🙏🏾

  • @sarapatch616
    @sarapatch616 3 роки тому +31

    Idk I'm super split with my personality! I'm definitely empathic but I can be a narcissist too I think it depends on who's around and what energy I get 🤷‍♀️

    • @basil-li1jw
      @basil-li1jw 3 роки тому +4

      You might have bpd, or borderline tendencies

    • @kisigma1011
      @kisigma1011 3 роки тому

      For real 💯🙏

    • @thelightworker01
      @thelightworker01 3 роки тому

      Self awareness is key ✨

    • @wmhhealth2018
      @wmhhealth2018 2 роки тому

      Me too. I was narcissistic in 3 consecutive relationships in my 20's, 2 of the women were cluster b's I just had traits of narcissism because my dad and sister are both malignant narcissists who idealized, devalued and discarded me. I did the cycle to all three of these women but was completely unaware that I was doing the abuse cycle. It was literally groomed into me. I have never lacked empathy however and in general do not intentionally abuse people so I have a balance between being an empath and being a narcissist which makes me neither.

  • @lenny2939
    @lenny2939 2 роки тому +2

    My therapist guided my healing by showing how reactions to abuse do not equate my being toxic. Intentions are where it's at. The abusers NEED us empaths to emotionally react as this gives them "proof" they are in the right and they use our reactions in their smear campaign against us.
    All empaths need to work on the "no response" to them. Hold it in and work through it AWAY from them.

  • @acceptingWhatIS
    @acceptingWhatIS 2 роки тому +1

    left the narcassist and attracked an empath and yes took it out on him in bouts - but realy worked hard on my pain and fear and returned to the empath I am - now I am with a beautiful mirror - we get on so well - two empaths - it is such a gift

  • @vjcarter4657
    @vjcarter4657 3 роки тому +8

    I always think I’m a Narcissist and wonder if I am, but it conflicts with everything I know I am :( Thank you for this!

  • @AXA747
    @AXA747 3 роки тому +6

    Empaths can be narcissistic too we have both traits but when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist your empathetic traits which are greater get pushed down because of the abuse and our narcissistic traits push higher during this time . But our empathy returns whereas your narcissistic traits disappear again

  • @joy39894
    @joy39894 Рік тому +1

    Fear: Rejection.
    Candace: Let it kill you.
    Me: Liberated.
    Didn't expect it. But when it happened, it just flowed organically through. Calm. Released. Liberating, indeed.
    The only way out is through.
    🦋

  • @timothyduch948
    @timothyduch948 3 роки тому +1

    I have struggled with this to an embarrassing degree. What I am most confident in saying is that hurt people hurt people. That is to say that people who have not healed from their own worst inner wounds end up hurting others. I can't think of too many people who are super good at prioritizing the emotional needs of others while they themselves are in physical and or emotional pain. The worse the trauma, the less able we are to treat others with respect. So, healing is the prescription for all. That's why I'm so grateful to have found Candace and her work. This is so needed by so many.
    In my opinion, a true narcissist is such not because they might resonate with a few of those characteristics but because they won't ever choose to heal. Their ego simply won't allow them to. Sadly, they become addicted to their own pain and will try to take everyone down with them because misery loves company. The recent beginning of my own sincere and exciting journey of healing came about as a result of realizing the following; If i am NOT a narcissist, then I need to take responsibility for my obnoxious behavior through healing. If I AM a narcissist, I certainly don't want be and so I need to take responsibility for my healing. See the pattern? Lol, and if I fail to heal then there will be plenty of other narcissists to hang out and enjoy being miserable with 😆 🤣 😂
    Gotta get real about how we feel so we can heal friends!!! Thanks Candace 😊 🙏

  • @LandoftheIn-Between
    @LandoftheIn-Between 4 роки тому +7

    “Let it kill you” -> “what is the meaning I’m attaching to this?”
    Woah genius, I loved that part about attracting a “balancing partner” thank you 🙏🏼 🙌🏼🧘🏻‍♀️

  • @MultidimensionalProductions
    @MultidimensionalProductions 4 роки тому +22

    Nothing wrong with your lighting, it's just showing up who you really are, an Earth Angel :D Thank you for sharing your gifts & what you know with the world. It helps so much

  • @bridgetmenham5103
    @bridgetmenham5103 4 роки тому +37

    I know what she's saying ...I'm an empathic and stopped seeing narcsisist people but generally we can just pick up people's personality traits and as you get further away from then you get your happy loving soul back xc

    • @jasminexx6274
      @jasminexx6274 4 роки тому +1

      couldn't agree more.

    • @joncrane7661
      @joncrane7661 4 роки тому +1

      Thanks for this. Made my day

    • @keithmccaslyn2527
      @keithmccaslyn2527 3 роки тому

      Bridget Menham,I got my self the DIRECT reflection shield,and built it in my energy field to make it tougher and more resilent,it worked. its the " send the funky enery to person A,it shileds them,bounces back off of thier shield and right back to the sender,instant karma!! Check it out at subliminal-talk.com, notta joke this B- works,deeply. and not selling,sharing in the light,coz I totally understand,trust me.
      check out lighthealing.com the personal rejuvenizer alone clears tons of old stuff,from childhood as well as the sessional clearings,the books-with applicable techniques for daily use and more.... "YOU can heal your life" by Louise sites.google.com/site/21feb19v/7Xp0LoI7J9727 free PDF book, and at lighthealing.com you can find " Love Now,heres How" by Dr.Phyllis Light Ph.D. awesome ,empowering real life- applicable techniques..the book,content is much much deeper than the hokey title!! The book was originally titles " Opening your heart to Love' but once the pulisher's got a hold of it,they changed it. weird but true. Emotional healing aid and pain relief... the technology in this is incredible. decades ahead,kind of stuff.No bull ,no selling,sharing in the Light... heres the link:
      www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-4-0/
      Love Candace's work too,..the combo is awesome in book!! all the best.

  • @laurenbrogan5440
    @laurenbrogan5440 2 роки тому +2

    I feel this so deeply. I played this out with my therapist. We are not longer working together because it was hard for me and I wasn’t fully ready to go deeper. I feel badly and remorse, on top of grief. I hope she knows deep down that I am deeply grateful for her and the relationship we had. Maybe she knows, she’s an empath 🙏🏼💞 thank you for this video

  • @improkosmos
    @improkosmos 4 роки тому +3

    Love ure video! Thanks so much from Germany. I've been through cancer and transplantation in 2015/16 and on top, my boyfriend left me for another woman when I came home from my cancer therapy. It was the worst and the best time of my life: To loose everything and feel near death showed me, that I had have always live to be nice and loved by others- first my parents, later my partners. Never let my true inner kind rule. Now, I am an artist with all of my heart, live moments not expectations. There are still some wounds. But I love being me or with me and been the best personal coach I could imagine.

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 3 роки тому +1

      Impro Kosmos,your story touched my heart,I think you deserves better

  • @iluvKingJesus
    @iluvKingJesus 4 роки тому +21

    This is me. I feel my shadow side seems to have those traits and it's ironic because I recall it hitting me out if nowhere one day, that I used to be just like my narc partner, but with a previous partner

    • @Nadine9534
      @Nadine9534 4 роки тому +1

      Pariah it’s unlikely that you were so different in a previous relationship. Don’t be so hard on yourself

  • @kathytanner-lovett1327
    @kathytanner-lovett1327 3 роки тому +6

    It did. I'm 55 and just realized my mother is a narc. Everything makes sense now. All my childhood up till now I've lived with "Cinderella syndrome" without the handsome prince and when I thought I finally had that fairytale moment they were going to rescue me and take me away from all of this only to find out they were the worst kind of narcissist the sweet was so sweet the person they pretended to be I fell in love with for 2 years I did this with them and when it came time for my happily ever after as they called it come to find out it was so once upon a time!!! I'm done with relationships I'm done with love I'm just done. When you're own mother wants to harm you make up lies about you and jeopardize your freedom and your livelihood because of butt hurtness us for lack of a better term over something she thinks and not something she knows...
    why they can all go to hell as far as I'm concerned.

  • @shelleyblaylock5901
    @shelleyblaylock5901 3 роки тому +3

    Thank you for this video!
    It helped give directions for the path that I’m on.
    I was born with an empathetic, non-conforming nature, yet nurtured with negativity & narcissism. It’s been a chaotic life, especially within my own soul.
    It reminds me of the story of the Two Wolves that live within oneself, fighting over our soul. One wolf being good, the other bad. Which wolf will win control? The one that you feed the most.
    Thank you again!

  • @andyshort4876
    @andyshort4876 4 роки тому +5

    My new favorite. I love tear jerking revelation while having a laugh. And jfc; spot on. No matter how much spiritual work and shadow work you do it's amazing how things can finally congeal and permeate your conscious space when you hear someone else say the same things in a different way.

    • @keithmccaslyn2527
      @keithmccaslyn2527 3 роки тому +1

      dang Andy you nailed it. I've said thee same damn thing ,many a day. every moment is a new moment and even if we've heard somethin' before several times.... we can hear 'it' at a new and different level and something,clicks,goes deeper than before,ect... we can only help some one else heal as far as we ourselves,healed. blessings and Light your way Man. Keith....check out lighthealing.com the personal rejuvenizer alone clears tons of old stuff,from childhood as well as the sessional clearings,the books-with applicable techniques for daily use and more.... "YOU can heal your life" by Louise sites.google.com/site/21feb19v/7Xp0LoI7J9727 free PDF book, and at lighthealing.com you can find " Love Now,heres How" by Dr.Phyllis Light Ph.D. awesome ,empowering real life- applicable techniques..the book,content is much much deeper than the hokey title!! The book was originally titles " Opening your heart to Love' but once the pulisher's got a hold of it,they changed it. weird but true. Emotional healing aid and pain relief... the technology in this is incredible. decades ahead,kind of stuff.No bull ,no selling,sharing in the Light... heres the link:
      www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-4-0/
      Love Candace's work too,..the combo is awesome in book!! all the best.

  • @jorgefg2408
    @jorgefg2408 4 роки тому +11

    By far the most enlighting video on narcissism I have ever seen !!! ... we attract what we could not develop when we were little kids !!! ... I L O V E T H I S V I D E O !!

    • @johncorson6599
      @johncorson6599 3 роки тому +1

      It is! It is like a nice epiphany to reflect on .. I watched it before some time ago but saw it again and it still startles me as to its reality .. my reality .. like a pathway to our new reality which was always there .. if that makes any sense

    • @johncorson6599
      @johncorson6599 3 роки тому

      It is! It is like a nice epiphany to reflect on .. I watched it before some time ago but saw it again and it still startles me as to its reality .. my reality .. like a pathway to our new reality which was always there .. if that makes any sense

  • @humanityhealthyself4430
    @humanityhealthyself4430 2 роки тому +1

    Just saved to my "sold gold" Playlist. I luckily attracted a stunning empath, but I had to learn how to love him right. Fantastic video❤️

  • @graciousempire3336
    @graciousempire3336 3 роки тому +4

    I just came across your channel after days of watching covert narcissism, I’ve dealt with narcissists all my life and now I’m starting to understand the whole cycle ... I left me overt narcissistic husband and walked write into a covert one, I wasn’t expecting it ... anyways, watching* this video made me realise why I get so angry towards him when he “doesn’t care” ... I never got to “not care” I was brought up being at the mercy of everyone else’s emotions and forgiving them for their wrong doings and being understanding but not being met the same, it does trigger me, I don’t understand how you couldn’t care about hurting someone you love, I’ll never understand that as it is unimaginable to me

  • @kategould4857
    @kategould4857 4 роки тому +12

    I feel bad about the way I behaved to people at my work due to how I was exploited and abused by a colleague with narcissistic traits. Me and her began at nearly the same time doing the same job. I was supposed to stay in the role so got given the much more difficult tasks. However, I moved role and the person with narcissistic traits (I'll call her "M") took on all the tasks I'd been doing.
    M struggled with the tasks, I tried to help her. M behaved bizarrely by arguing and demeaning me and my advice. It was really strange as I could do things she couldn't do. Now I recognise that my trying to teach her was intolerable to her, to accept my help meant she had to acknowledge I knew how to do something she couldn't do. I started after her by 2-3 weeks doing exact same role so it did mean that we could be compared. I took her behaviour personally as her not trusting my competence. But then I saw her do exactly same thing to a person with much more experience and qualifications than both of us. So I realised she had problems. Time went on and she began to just send things she couldn't do to me. My mistake was to just do them.
    Our manager was so spineless and clueless she enabled this. Then M had to train a whole team of people and she taught them to send me the work M and her team should be doing.
    So I pushed back, the sheer amount of work was far too much as well as my actual job.
    But M and the manager persisted and were relentless in bullying me into continuing to do the work for 5-6 people!
    So I pushed back harder but felt helpless with a manager piling on me as well.
    I became scornful in the hope I would shame these people into doing their own work. But it wasn't the fault of the team M trained and I am upset I acted as I did.
    I am angry that M and the manager pushed me to behaving how I naturally would never behave. I wondered if I was a narcissist! Which is ridiculous honestly.
    I ended up doing the work anyway, when I didn't do it M and the manager had no interest at all in doing it. Only in maintaining appearance of doing it and that led to them writing off payroll deductions. Writing off cleared pesky numbers in the accounts. Those pesky numbers were deductions taken from employees that those employees intended to be paid to unions! Writing them off was so bad morally and from PR perspective. But they did it. I corrected that, then left the job.

    • @keithmccaslyn2527
      @keithmccaslyn2527 3 роки тому +1

      wanna recommend some helpful things for the future... wow. that was a hellafied work experience(s)...some things to lessen the suffering, for the record NOT selling a damn thing, IM empathic and spiritually open,so yeah I get it....and more..been there....here growzzz: check out lighthealing.com the personal rejuvenizer alone clears tons of old stuff,from childhood as well as the sessional clearings,the books-with applicable techniques for daily use and more.... "YOU can heal your life" by Louise sites.google.com/site/21feb19v/7Xp0LoI7J9727 free PDF book, and at lighthealing.com you can find " Love Now,heres How" by Dr.Phyllis Light Ph.D. awesome ,empowering real life- applicable techniques..the book,content is much much deeper than the hokey title!! The book was originally titles " Opening your heart to Love' but once the pulisher's got a hold of it,they changed it. weird but true. Emotional healing aid and pain relief... the technology in this is incredible. decades ahead,kind of stuff.No bull ,no selling,sharing in the Light... heres the link:
      www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-4-0/
      Love Candace's work too,..the combo is awesome in book!! all the best.

  • @kriskay7306
    @kriskay7306 4 роки тому +7

    I am SOOOOO glad I saw this in my feed!!! I just looked up narcissistic qualities yesterday or the day before and got upset thinking "is this me?"

  • @PragmaticEmpath
    @PragmaticEmpath 4 роки тому +4

    This video Is so important! 🙏Reclaiming our power and working through our emotions, so we don’t confuse or guard our emotions. Embracing our human experience. 💛

    • @keithmccaslyn2527
      @keithmccaslyn2527 3 роки тому

      check out lighthealing.com the personal rejuvenizer alone clears tons of old stuff,from childhood as well as the sessional clearings,the books-with applicable techniques for daily use and more.... "YOU can heal your life" by Louise sites.google.com/site/21feb19v/7Xp0LoI7J9727 free PDF book, and at lighthealing.com you can find " Love Now,heres How" by Dr.Phyllis Light Ph.D. awesome ,empowering real life- applicable techniques..the book,content is much much deeper than the hokey title!! The book was originally titles " Opening your heart to Love' but once the pulisher's got a hold of it,they changed it. weird but true. Emotional healing aid and pain relief... the technology in this is incredible. decades ahead,kind of stuff.No bull ,no selling,sharing in the Light... heres the link:
      www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-4-0/
      Love Candace's work too,..the combo is awesome in book!! all the best.

  • @nisshoku1568
    @nisshoku1568 2 роки тому +3

    I was literally asking myself am I a narcissist after dealing with a narcissistic friend that I was trying to help, and I felt like cutting them out my life made me feel like I was a narcissist too, and this video got recommended to me through UA-cam all the sudden.

    • @geraldinecelestre3596
      @geraldinecelestre3596 2 роки тому

      Me too. I can not abandon the child, 53 Yr old boy. He is hovering me now. I gave him a puzzle, if he solves it, I will talk to him. Probably an empath revenge. I still care for him. Dio Mio. I am STEM mind, but empath. Not sure I am proud of my action. Should be No Contact. I am 80.

  • @lm3729
    @lm3729 4 роки тому +3

    What made me realize that I am not is my deep capability of empathy. Narcissists are not capable of empathy. I can feel everyone and everything.
    I study the narcissist to know how to identify them and keep them away from my energy.

  • @funkmasterflunk7565
    @funkmasterflunk7565 3 роки тому +5

    I've been doing this lately, I dont believe I am,but the narcissist pulls it out of you,bc you finally start to stand up to...the narcissist.

  • @arwenrosalie3031
    @arwenrosalie3031 3 роки тому +2

    Omgg now I understand why my narc mother did not like me I was her least favorite and it always showed, and that is also why I did not become a narc myself. I am nothing like her and my siblings are. I was subconsciously protecting myself. I knew she was not mentally ok I knew she was always raising us wrong.

  • @reikiwolfsong
    @reikiwolfsong 3 роки тому +1

    I saw this a couple of months ago and it hit home. As time has gone by, more and more, I own this. It's changed the way I interact with just about everyone. Thank you so much.

  • @thankyoujesus2836
    @thankyoujesus2836 4 роки тому +36

    Im becoming less empathic and more narcissistic... i dont care anymore. I cant. Its too painful. I care too much about people who dont care about me. So i cant. Its better to be a narcissist with some people. Less pain. Im so tired of pain of feeling stupid for who i am. I dont care if people think im a bad person because of it anymore. Im not trying to hurt anyone and never want to but i cant care about people who dont care about how i feel anymore...

    • @samson4965
      @samson4965 4 роки тому +7

      White light "You are instructed to put on your mask before helping anyone sitting with you. This may fly in the face of instinct for parents of small children and other caregivers(empaths). The reality is that in a panic, some people may fight getting a mask tied to their face. If you are running low on oxygen, you have little chance of helping them. Supply yourself with good air and you'll be in better condition to deal with those around you."
      Protect yourself first. Always.

    • @lovinglatonya3499
      @lovinglatonya3499 4 роки тому +1

      I definitely understand I feel the same way I actually started using it as a tactic act a little narcissistic til I see they’re ok...if they still are normal I’m nicer but if they some narcissist traits I show them indifference. It’s a lot to have to turn off and on but it’s a lot to get de tangled from a narcissist

    • @lovedbypain
      @lovedbypain 4 роки тому +1

      and that’s on being traumatized. 💅🏽
      no but seriously, i feel you.

    • @beckyluvsboys
      @beckyluvsboys 4 роки тому

      DITTO

    • @maesnow3554
      @maesnow3554 4 роки тому +2

      if you start accepting something that your soul isnt, youll be more sad than ever

  • @blu5211
    @blu5211 4 роки тому +9

    You saved my life. Enough said. Thank you.

  • @azsunburns
    @azsunburns 3 роки тому +1

    This happened to me over the past summer, which is why I'm here. It was literally a supernatural situation I didn't fully even see until coming out of it. Looking back over the "friendship" I had gotten into and wanted, I saw so much more. I was attracted to what I fled years ago... didn't plan that at all. It's still beating my heart up. I loved this person. Not healthy.

  • @HopeHasWarriors
    @HopeHasWarriors 4 роки тому +2

    Wow!!😱 This video made me cry and feel SO SEEN. My emotionally abusive husband made me pack on armor and I feel emotionally dead, even after 7 months separate headed to divorce. Thank you thank you thank you😭💙 It’s such a relief to understand

    • @ceenooriitaas24
      @ceenooriitaas24 3 роки тому

      That happened with me too. I also cried a lot during this video.
      Keep Healing 💙💙 Everything is going to be alright.

  • @sarahm8775
    @sarahm8775 3 роки тому +4

    Some psychology videos give you epiphanies. The one that makes you cry is the one that you were meant to see.

  • @foivoskaterina
    @foivoskaterina 3 роки тому +5

    I feel like I am going to die whenever I break up with somebody

    • @keithmccaslyn2527
      @keithmccaslyn2527 3 роки тому

      check out lighthealing.com the personal rejuvenizer alone clears tons of old stuff,from childhood as well as the sessional clearings,the books-with applicable techniques for daily use and more.... "YOU can heal your life" by Louise sites.google.com/site/21feb19v/7Xp0LoI7J9727 free PDF book, and at lighthealing.com you can find " Love Now,heres How" by Dr.Phyllis Light Ph.D. awesome ,empowering real life- applicable techniques..the book,content is much much deeper than the hokey title!! The book was originally titles " Opening your heart to Love' but once the pulisher's got a hold of it,they changed it. weird but true. Emotional healing aid and pain relief... the technology in this is incredible. decades ahead,kind of stuff.No bull ,no selling,sharing in the Light... heres the link:
      www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-4-0/
      Love Candace's work too,..the combo is awesome in book!! all the best.

  • @idaliak5194
    @idaliak5194 3 роки тому +2

    Oh my god I did not know this video existed!!! I have been worrying about this for so long as I have been born into and grown up in a narcissistic household and I have always made so much effort to keep myself on the "straight and narrow" but was still worried that I may have even in part become what I'd always feared. Thank you for this xx

  • @alfonsobejarano4531
    @alfonsobejarano4531 4 роки тому +1

    Complete right you start becoming like them, is a psychological survival instinct, remember in the love boming they mirror you and at the end you become like them miserable like them, just understand it, its move on an start been you again, by the way it's nice to meet that old wonderful of you in the rehab, knowing how special you are, when this happens the understanding of the issue and forgive =freedom you there, blessings warriors.🙏

  • @kimberlycolton5921
    @kimberlycolton5921 3 роки тому +3

    Oh wow, I've been in the healing process of a narc relationship for about a year or so and this finally makes total sense to me. I was worried I had become a narc at first. Then I thought I was just broken and now I see things differently. Gonna have to process

  • @richardmabe9475
    @richardmabe9475 3 роки тому +5

    As an Empath, I'm always emotional and sensitive but after years of working and knowing Narcissistic or Psychopathic people I've learnt how to be emotionless when being manipulated or gaslighted but when the situation is over all the emotions that I saved gets released and even cry.

  • @Barsifeus
    @Barsifeus 2 роки тому +1

    Wow, wow, wow!!!! I have been so worried that I was the problem and even took tests to make sure. I scored low on everything but when I would listen to so many videos I would notice that I was doing some of the things and panicking because I didn't want to blame my wife as the problem if I was really the problem. I needed this so much and thank you thank you thank you!!! I dont really know where to go from this point but I finally know now and I can't thank you enough!!!!

  • @mandalovescatspandas1781
    @mandalovescatspandas1781 2 роки тому +1

    As an empathic person, I'm so caught up in beating myself up over my own shortcomings, or recovering from external injuries, that it's easy to adopt confusions to beat myself up over 😭😅

  • @1sandychan1
    @1sandychan1 4 роки тому +13

    Wow I remember when i was little i used to have panic attacks, because i would think of my parents passing away, my emotions would go nuts, so to protect myself from having to go through this, i was trying to break my bond with them. Of course i couldnt do that, but its crazy to look back at that now

  • @archangelrevelations9532
    @archangelrevelations9532 4 роки тому +9

    OmG! Please don't tell me that I am actually taking on Narcissistic tendencies. I do feel the armor I can't wait till I can drop my armor for the right man who deserves my love. I have been doing all the shadow work.

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 3 роки тому +1

      Archangel Revelations,you are too precious to be with a narcissist!

    • @archangelrevelations9532
      @archangelrevelations9532 3 роки тому +2

      @@lioydwilliams1850 That's really sweet of you to say. Precious people are usually the biggest targets for narcissists but me being a Heyoka was quite unexpected for him. Lmfaoo we both didn't even see it coming.

    • @keithmccaslyn2527
      @keithmccaslyn2527 3 роки тому

      check out lighthealing.com the personal rejuvenizer alone clears tons of old stuff,from childhood as well as the sessional clearings,the books-with applicable techniques for daily use and more.... "YOU can heal your life" by Louise sites.google.com/site/21feb19v/7Xp0LoI7J9727 free PDF book, and at lighthealing.com you can find " Love Now,heres How" by Dr.Phyllis Light Ph.D. awesome ,empowering real life- applicable techniques..the book,content is much much deeper than the hokey title!! The book was originally titles " Opening your heart to Love' but once the pulisher's got a hold of it,they changed it. weird but true. Emotional healing aid and pain relief... the technology in this is incredible. decades ahead,kind of stuff.No bull ,no selling,sharing in the Light... heres the link:
      www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-4-0/
      Love Candace's work too,..the combo is awesome in book!! all the best.

  • @Ranaeph
    @Ranaeph 2 роки тому +2

    First time viewer! Now subscribed!
    Thank you for this little expansion into how to look at this issue. I really appreciate the way that you talk about it, clear and authentic, I was talking back with you like I was in therapy or something haha!
    Thank you for your grace.

  • @ninahohlfeld4339
    @ninahohlfeld4339 4 роки тому +12

    Thank you, Cadence, I needed to hear this right now ❤

    • @candacecasey5634
      @candacecasey5634 4 роки тому

      Candace, her name is Candace, same as mine😁

  • @n.c.6211
    @n.c.6211 4 роки тому +6

    Sometimes we have to see our shadow and it is not pretty.
    Thank you, great video.

    • @sueb6662
      @sueb6662 3 роки тому

      100% we need to respect our shadow

  • @sll110
    @sll110 Рік тому +1

    as a scapegoat of huge Narcissist family members, I always thought I am the "bad person", Something wrong with me, and attract lots if lots truly evils in my whole life.. living in the hell by my demons mom brains washed

  • @RockRoamer7
    @RockRoamer7 2 роки тому +2

    Wow. I've always known I feel others emotions and intentions but never took time to learn about that part of myself. At 46 I've just recently caught myself wondering if I am the actual narcissist after decades of believing another close to me to be. This video couldn't have popped up at a more perfect time for me. Thanks!

  • @vietanh7
    @vietanh7 4 роки тому +11

    OMG I've always asked myself the same question over and over again.

    • @keithmccaslyn2527
      @keithmccaslyn2527 3 роки тому

      check out lighthealing.com the personal rejuvenizer alone clears tons of old stuff,from childhood as well as the sessional clearings,the books-with applicable techniques for daily use and more.... "YOU can heal your life" by Louise sites.google.com/site/21feb19v/7Xp0LoI7J9727 free PDF book, and at lighthealing.com you can find " Love Now,heres How" by Dr.Phyllis Light Ph.D. awesome ,empowering real life- applicable techniques..the book,content is much much deeper than the hokey title!! The book was originally titles " Opening your heart to Love' but once the pulisher's got a hold of it,they changed it. weird but true. Emotional healing aid and pain relief... the technology in this is incredible. decades ahead,kind of stuff.No bull ,no selling,sharing in the Light... heres the link:
      www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-4-0/
      Love Candace's work too,..the combo is awesome in book!! all the best.

  • @peggygenoway
    @peggygenoway 4 роки тому +5

    Lightworkers are all touching base with one another at this time and weighing in on how we can begin helping others when the call comes. Lightworkers experience more loss, pain, devastation early on and we need to know how to relate to those just awakening. As a psychotherapist, the personality disordered will still be around but the dynamics quite different now. We have entered a new age; experienced the most traumatic event in anyone's lifetime...this is so huge. We must master stillness within.

  • @evlana1
    @evlana1 Рік тому +1

    Wow!! That is literally what I did at the end of the relationship with my mother. I had to say that I am just going to let this kill me, before I give up the last whole parts of myself over to her. It's insane to me that you said that.

  • @Linsicase
    @Linsicase 3 роки тому +1

    Wow. Like I just literally went through this. I dated a guy who had a severe case of PTSD, and was doing some heavy projecting on me and causing some serious arguments that involved accusations, name calling, talking down to me, making me question my self worth, my intentions and goodness as a person.. like I was shattered. It took two fights and a breakup, but he finally saw what he was doing.. so we took a test drive... well that didn’t work either. He ended up getting upset with me for not texting him as frequently or staying in touch last Sunday while I was sick. Even though I text him Everytime I woke up... I even apologized for not talking to him to him as much..and he had just left that morning after spending 4 days with me. Straight. So he he even seen me sick, ran to the store for me, etc. I ended up ending things. I didn’t have the energy to have another toxic fight with him. He accused me of cheating and not wanting him around me, etc. it was so crazy. As a boyfriend, when he did good, it was phenomenal. But when we had disagreements, it was disastrous. I seen all the love he had to offer and he treated me like a queen, until I made him mad. He was abused as a child. His mother was abused by his dad. He lost his brother, and he was married to a woman who emotionally neglected them their entire 12 year marriage. I know in my heart once he heals, he will be an amazing partner, but for me, I’ve gone through my self growth, and I know what I deserve, and I need someone who isn’t going to make me feel worthless. It’s timing. It wasn’t right for us. But you were right. He saw the love he knew he could get or have or be, in me. I didn’t see it like that till now. I wish things could have been different, because he truly is a beautiful soul who wasn’t loved like he should have been.

  • @Lionofthelovinggod1
    @Lionofthelovinggod1 4 роки тому +12

    I had to out-fox the fox and it took me years to reclaim my beautiful childhood nature.

    • @Tygress_
      @Tygress_ 4 роки тому +2

      Amanda Brisbane “Beautiful childhood nature” seems we were robbed of it. Ive been healing for years and just started reclaiming mine it’s a painful but beautiful process

    • @Lionofthelovinggod1
      @Lionofthelovinggod1 4 роки тому +1

      Light Beam keep going girl. We’ll get there.

    • @Tygress_
      @Tygress_ 4 роки тому

      Amanda Brisbane thank you.🙏💪 & im curious to know what you mean by out fox the fox?

    • @Lionofthelovinggod1
      @Lionofthelovinggod1 4 роки тому +2

      Light Beam well, my dear fellow traveller, he was a very manipulative and crafty person. In order to get out unscathed ( as in, not dead) I had to become like him. That’s why it took me a long time to recover.

    • @Tygress_
      @Tygress_ 4 роки тому +2

      Amanda Brisbane I totally sympathize with you there. Its a hard pill to swallow when you look in the mirror and realize you’ve become what hurt you. But we only did it to survive. It truly is a beautiful healing process.

  • @daniellewatson4803
    @daniellewatson4803 4 роки тому +6

    Wow this video turned on a light bulb! So thankful for you Candace!

  • @That_Awkward_Mum
    @That_Awkward_Mum 4 роки тому +1

    This has helped clarify one of the reasons why a lot of my friendships have failed, thank you for your wisdom. :-)

  • @jeccecaawakens3799
    @jeccecaawakens3799 4 роки тому +2

    WOW, Firstly I need to say THANKYOU! I have only just come across your page and I wish it had not taken this long. I've been searching for answers for such a long time, you've literally explained it so well so quickly! So inturn I'm going to go and stalk your whole page, I need your help!!!
    Thankyou. You've really helped me today.

  • @ClayArnall
    @ClayArnall 4 роки тому +30

    Sheep in wolves clothing - interesting idea

    • @Mclemonade
      @Mclemonade 4 роки тому

      pneumatictrousers lol

    • @EnviroArtiste86
      @EnviroArtiste86 3 роки тому

      well when you are a sheep and you are hurt so much, you camouflage yourself to not get hurt. like bullies in school. i was bullied really bad in school. i would befriend the people that hurt me and pretend to be with the in crowd. they never hurt me again, but it would hurt me to have to be someone else. i learned i could never truly be myself in the real world, i'm misunderstood, made fun of, pushed aside, and talked down to. if you pretend to be something else, well, it's a better world. but you are still in pain. heartbreak really. mourning the person you wish you could have always been, but society taught you that's not acceptable.

  • @ProductCreationFormula
    @ProductCreationFormula 3 роки тому +5

    As an empathic person, If I was to let the scenario play out in my head (Feelings and all) isn't there a risk I could become engulfed in the emotion and not read what is happening accurately?
    I am exactly as you are saying.
    My 3rd wife which we have been married to for 16 years now, is a narcissist.
    She has been away for the past 4 months, so it has given me time to find out more about narcissism. I am also a carer for a lady downstairs who is an overt narcissist. She can be really nasty. Anyway, I learnt about being a grey rock. I have become that for the lady downstairs, but it is really hard to do that with my wife. I am not going to leave her. She has just come back yesterday.
    So instead of being the hardened empath that has taken on narcissistic traits to protect myself, I have become the person I was meant to be.
    It is so funny, my wife used to say to me, "When I get angry I need you to be the man and stay calm" I would say to her "I don't know how to do that because I feel it when you are angry too" I explained that "I feel her emotions like they are my very own".
    So now that I can recognise when she is being narcissistic, instead of getting angry with her I see what is happening and stay calm.
    When I see her getting angry with our son, I say to her "darling let's not get angry you are beginning to sound stressed." She then calms down and tries to exert her reason for why she is angry. I usually have to take a deep breath to regain composure and continue with saying "let's talk about that" so we did today, and it went really well.

  • @MorningMoonDown
    @MorningMoonDown 2 роки тому

    This is exactly what I feel I've been going through. Thanks for touching on this because these feelings and thoughts have had me confused and angry at myself for acting certain ways. Which in turn led to addiction and wanting to be numb. Recovery and therapy works, it just really takes patience and self care. "Baby the addict, and you will bury the addict"

  • @impossible066
    @impossible066 3 роки тому +2

    Omg I have literally cried for so long thinking I’m bad person and that I sure have to be a narcissist... 😭😭😭I literally wanted to stay at home and never go out just so I don’t hurt anyone.

  • @lilkr8844
    @lilkr8844 4 роки тому +4

    I have found myself mirroring my ex's behaviour out of anger I feel extremely ashamed afterwards he just pushes my buttons and I am very passionate about how I feel espeasially about our kids I do put up very nasty walls with him know it's wrong but at the time I just can't help it the thing is I had an amazing child hood my mum and dad and my 3 older sisters were totally awesome I think I got sucked in to being with my ex was because I was treated so well and unfortunately my beautiful parents protected me so much I didn't really get a chance to be around people that were nasty so I was unaware I wasn't wired that people like that existed so I was sucked in by this whole disgusting family I look back now and realize I was totally targeted one thing that's good that have come out of this is I know I'm not co dependent I'm fine with my own company definately an empath through all this I just cared to much but I'm much wiser now

  • @ezra7253
    @ezra7253 4 роки тому +4

    narcissists attract codependent people but they might say they are empathetic to see themselves as good. codependency is when you abandon your boundaries/self to placate people. i swear when people talk about empaths they’re just taking about people.

    • @johncorson6599
      @johncorson6599 3 роки тому

      It’s gets a bit more complicated when there is a trauma bond

  • @dandelionlight1376
    @dandelionlight1376 2 роки тому

    This is good to talk about because as I’ve been healing I’ve noticed how the narcissistic energy in my family dynamic literally infected me, which made it hard for me to have self love and be too dependent on others and allowing myself to be emotionally manipulated by sooo many people. But I could see how my lack of love could also make me narcissistic in ways I couldn’t see, needing others to make me happy. I knew something was wrong but it was so hard to heal that wound. Now that I am getting energetically clearer when I hang out with my family I feel them on a subconscious being aware of my inner happiness and they will get angry and try to poison me with the energy, say things to try to hurt my newfound self esteem, and I can see it all so clearly now. Thank you

  • @alexisbradford5111
    @alexisbradford5111 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much for sharing and bringing awareness to where I am with this and where I am going. Your ebook also gave me clarity on my specific situation and the inner work I have been doing for the last 3 years in my spiritual journey and where I am now and we know this is the first step we cross when starting the inner work. God bless sending love and light. 💚✨

  • @khanhducnguyen1239
    @khanhducnguyen1239 4 роки тому +5

    My ex - either was a borderline or a covert narcissist(to be honest i don't even care anymore) - implanted the idea that i was the mean and selfish one when she broke up with me. I was devastated and convinced that was my nature. Believing that i don't deserve to be love, that i only hurt people close to me. I isolated myself from all my friends thinking that should prevent me from hurting them. I was like that for 6 months until one day the my 2 best friends reached out to me and we managed to rekindle our friendship. We forgave each other for not being around when we needed each other. And that was when i realized that i deserve love and i'm so lucky to have them as friends. Now i know who i am, i am nothing like my ex claimed i was, i'm capable of being empathize and caring for other people and that is something she's not capable of and she deeply hates me for that.
    After everything she put me through, do i hate her?
    No, but i do feel sorry for her that it is just her nature: a cold, heartless person who's not capable of love, capable of having empathy which i truly believe that is what makes us human.
    I still wish someday she would change and be able to have a meaningful life.

    • @joncrane7661
      @joncrane7661 4 роки тому

      Thanks for sharing. Clarified some things in my life.

  • @Vince-fg4vp
    @Vince-fg4vp 4 роки тому +9

    THIS IS SO TRUE.

  • @Stereotype5346
    @Stereotype5346 2 роки тому

    I was born into a Narcissist Family, Alcoholic Mother, Reluctant and Enabling Father. Grandfather is a Holocaust Survivor. He ignored my Father and his Brother, my Uncle. My Parents lost me st the 1964 World's Fair. I think I'm beyond hope, or reach. Predictably my story only gets worse. The ultimate betrayal was my Father selling off my Uncle's apt., which had been promised me, and I'd paid for. My Women never Married, neither did I. How can you separate the story from emotions? I realize I am a spiritual being having a human experience. How can you ease the pain of love and life lost? How do you stop regret when you remember everything? It seems all I'm being taught is how to let go, or to humble my desires and hopes.

  • @RussellMcKinney
    @RussellMcKinney 3 роки тому +1

    That was an awesome video sister! A lot of good and useful things there! Stay blessed!🙏🏻😃

  • @silascochran9705
    @silascochran9705 4 роки тому +4

    This was a really good one it hit me right in the❤ I am completely aware that I have narcissistic traits and have fear that I am a narcissist but I am far far too sensitive for that I am not in a relationship but I am recently attracted to someone that I know that is empathic her beauty comes from the inside and her smile is beautiful but childhood trauma prevents me I'm getting close to anyone now I love your videos I will have to check to see if I had unsubscribed I do that when I get depressed you're not supposed to say this to women but by the way you are very lovely😷🌹🏝🐊 PS I just resubscribed😁

  • @ainththatsumshit5581
    @ainththatsumshit5581 4 роки тому +3

    Yes very true,if you were force to quiet your own inner character to fit your parents/family idea of you ,you subconsciously treat the right person wrong.its a way these narc psychos control your perspective.

  • @trueli4708
    @trueli4708 3 роки тому +1

    For the past six months, I had been struggling to maintain self love toward myself... I'm just sooo tired of this and I had been noticing that my anxiety level had been increased since the past few months. And I do have to admit that I didn't forgive myself about allowing myself into the same situation again...

  • @definier.mal.castelli
    @definier.mal.castelli 3 роки тому +2

    So I'm a Narcissist with cognitive Empathy, leading me to want to help especially those close to me and even going steps harmful to myself but I still think I'm an Narcissist because I usually think I'm better (like an overall better) than everybody else knowing I'm obviously not. Additionally I think wanting to help and "self sacrificing" is attractive for me because I really hate narcissistic and egotistical traits and don't want to embody them. So I help people in essence not for them, but for me which creates quite the paradox. I don't really have a question but I'd be interested if that's like a "common" thing.

  • @EcstaticCheeseBall68
    @EcstaticCheeseBall68 4 роки тому +8

    Oh my god my relationship for the the past year

  • @alignedmindbodysoul
    @alignedmindbodysoul 4 роки тому +4

    I was with one, it was the hardest time of my life

  • @f4qebutuoy595
    @f4qebutuoy595 3 роки тому +1

    I have always done my best to keep myself in check. If I see qualities in a person that represent what I had lost to an abuser, I intentionally make the conscious effort to feel how that person would feel if someone came along and destroyed them like I was ion my youth. I don't reflect my pain onto others or "spread the plague". I do this by revisiting the suffering I went through in memory and that is something I never want anyone to have to go through. I also made the conscious decision not to have children because of what I was forced to endure as a child from my parents. There are large part of humanity that don't have a right to have offspring.

  • @elizabethstonem1056
    @elizabethstonem1056 4 роки тому +2

    The thought of being a narcissist terrifies me so bad, and after being abused for 2 years now I started to think that I’m the devil and narcissist but i don’t want to be like this I prefer being dead instead of being a narcissist and hurt everyone. I don’t know what to do now 😞

    • @CandacevanDell
      @CandacevanDell  4 роки тому +3

      Elizabeth Stonem your obviously not one. You just said you were abused. You also said you would hate to be one. Narcissists don’t think like that! Time to love yourself and heal from the hurt that someone else caused you!

  • @redhotteagle777harris4
    @redhotteagle777harris4 4 роки тому +5

    Love light and peace