Before It Gets Too Far - WATCH THIS | by Jay Shetty
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
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Credit for Quotes:
“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” - Laurell K. Hamilton
"Being alone may scare you but being in a bad relationship will scar you." We should never forget this.
yep.
true
Thank God I do not have this shit in my life. I answer to no one but myself!
Omg, too true. :/
Oh I ll never forget. Physical and mental abuse. From ex husband.
My mother has been practising mental abuse on me since 1963. Dont know how I survive.
"Sometimes we want to be loved so badly that we can't even tell it's not love." LOVE YOURSELF MORE.
That is not love. That is someone else controlling their partner / wife
Rebecca Frost Yeeess
Honestly needed those words...
Yup and then when finally u r blessed with true love.. don't run from it in fear coz that love will make u love yourself more and ultimately love for ur partner as well
‘’You don’t let go of a bad relationship because you stop caring about them, you let go because you started caring about yourself’’. - This guy is truly remarkable.
This video hits so close to home. I escaped a relationship where there was every abuse possible. I thought he was the ‘love of my life’. He was in reality the ‘nightmare of my life’. The physical abuse has healed but the psychological abuse is something I don’t think I’ll ever totally recover from. I’m not me anymore, I miss the old me that was happy, carefree and trusting 😞
I know. Emotional abuse is hard to get over.
I'm sorry for that sister. I can very much relate.
Lisa Free, I can feel ya on that! The emotional and mental abuse traumatized me to the point I hate to deal with people anymore. Only business wise, and I try not to have that much business to tend to. I'm still happy and carefree because I'm in my own little world. It gets lonely sometimes, but when I think about the consequences of having someone around my stomach knots up. I'll never trust anyone again, never! Hope you find your way back to yourself. I'm content with me as is right now lol. Thanks for caring and sharing your comment. It helped to know I'm not alone in this💚.
Lisa Deee, sorry for the name mistype XOXO ❤️.
The old you was also you. You haven't lost it. Just learned somethings. Believe in yourself I promise everything will be okay. 💚
"There are wounds that never appear on the body that hurt more than anything that bleeds"
That hit me.
True
It's tough to decide whether to stay or to leave .
We keep giving chances or take chances .
SOMETIMES IT'S SO CONFUSING
SOMETIMES IT'S FRUSTRATING.
Prsh V the answer in your heart listen to it and run far far away 🙏
Yeah, true
Yes im going through this now
It's better to break ur own heart by leaving rather than have someone else break ur heart every day while you stay with them👌
Being alone may scare you but being in a bad relationship will scar you.👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Reminds me so much of my ex. Makes me so emotional. Four years of emotional abused, lead me to depression and anxiety disorder now. While there is time, please don't let anyone abuse you emotionally or physically. Please that person don't deserve you at all.
Karan too blinded by love.
Karan while your being abused, they rip away your soul and self esteem. You are made to feel worthless.
Sometimes they are financially abusive too and take all of your money & don't allow you to work, or you get so sick (emotionally and physically) that you can no longer work.
They put down your family and friends. Eventually you are left with no one but them because you eventually cut everyone out of your life because it's just easier to live without the abuser complaining about each person in your life and every interest you have.
They complain about your children's friends and the friends parents. Sometimes the kids are emotionally abused too. The kids don't want to invite friends over because they're afraid the parents will fight in front of friends, or mom/dad might be crying.
You wake up one day and wonder how you allowed them to do this to you.
Usually the victims are people pleasers and have the mentality that if you are kind to them, they will eventually get better and return the kindness that never comes.
By the time you realize what has happened you feel like you can't do anything right anymore because your abuser points out each flaw you have. They wear you down to nothing and you feel paralyzed.
If you have children they use that against you too. They threaten to take your kids from you. If you leave them, and let's say you are very depressed, they can and will use your mental health against you and get custody of the kids too, especially if they have money for top lawyers and you don't.
It happens more often than what you'd think...
Inung Newme god u have the same story as me😢😢😢4 years of relation and now anxiety disorder and depression☹️
Plz get EXCITED to be free of such an individual. Thank the HEAVENS. Been there! I LOOK BETTER ALL BY MYSELF. Single is good.
@Inung_food Diary How old are you ?
Dam this hit me hard I was the one who treated my ex really badly called her down said mean things did mean things, but I’ve never hit her at all but I hurt her emotionally and that is right “it’s better to break your own heart then be with someone who will do it everyday”I learned the hard way so if men right now are treating there wife gfs badly she will realize that you are never gonna change, and there are better men out there and if she wears makeup or puts on a nice outfit tell her how beautiful she is cause at the end of the night she’s gonna be coming home to you. I hope my ex gf will find someone 1000 times more better then me and I know she will. So real men out there treat your beautiful wife , beautiful girlfriend a lot better before it’s to late.
aww hope you will treat your next better cause now you obviously came back to your senses which id awesome
It takes courage to admit the mistake. I’m proud of you for realizing what you had done. This is the beginning of awareness. I wish you and your ex the best.
WOW....FOR YOU TO ADMIT AND RECOGNIZE THIS IS A HUGE STEP. I PRAY YOU WERE ABLE TO SHARE WITH HER.....I HOPE YOU'RE GETTING HELP OR CONTINUING. ASK FOR OUR LORDS HELP.
Wow, i liked your comment, you are so brave and clever, very few people recognize their bad behaviors, wish the best relationship for you
Cody Pantherbone : hi 👋 years ago I had a conversation with someone who was telling me how abusing he had been to his ex. Then I asked about his parents and weird thing was that his mother was doing the same to him.. he was never good enough..not nicely dressed enough etc.. very abusing parent and I told him that is exactly what he was doing to his girlfriend. That was an eye opener for him.. after that he moved away and lost track of him. Done that two times.. letting people see what they are doing to others. I am glad you saw what you were doing. Bless you! Did you ever get a chance to apologise to her?? If not.. maybe you should?
There is a very misunderstanding between Love & Possession...
Love says,
" Let's be happy *together* "
Possession says,
" MAKE *ME* HAPPY "
Love gives.
Possession takes.
Someone that is lonely, that's all I've been around my entire life "TAKERS". An unfair world for some!
Yep that is true. 😞
@@patriciaking7892 you can change that now. You can't change what happened when you were a child. But you can when you are an adult.
This is why I CHOOSE to be alone and it's not scary at all. Liberating 👍
Powerful message! Sometimes by the time you realize you’re in an abusive relationship you feel like that person needs your love, so you stay hoping to help them. This is not a good thing, ever! The love that matters most is the love we show ourselves ❤️
This was me in a 5 year relationship. I finally left him 4 in a half years ago. Best decision in my life.
*of
I was fully depressed from my life...Looking at your videos I m inspired..💘💘.I started to love my life...Thank u sir💕💕💕
Bibhuti Regmi I wish you a beautiful life and upcoming Life Events that will change you in a positive direction.
+Goran Brankovic 😀😀😀thank u very much
Bibhuti Regmi
+manjunath arya 😦
+Achal Kumar nahi....I used to feel myself worthless becoz I had degraded my study....
The hard part when u had been in that condition was you keep telling your mind that it's ok...it will be okay...only to survive another day. And it was really hard to cut yourself out of the relationship because the other person just dont care of how ur heart was torched or how much damage he had made. It wasn't a pleasing journey for me, but Jay is right, it's not love. And you just gotta have the courage to start loving urself more and leave the situation.
Yes, have been there. Learned that being
Alone in peace is an awesome journey.
Physical and mental abuse believing
It was love; was a one time lesson
I shall never forget.
Jesus Christ, this video is making me cry my eyes out, emotional abuse is the most painful thing one can go through. I have been there.
@Brianna Tyler Thank you, I can imagine the hurt psychological pain and trauma u must be suffering,but be patient with yourself, one day at a time things will get better. I promise.
If I can like this video a million times I would. Every word in this video spoke to me. What a great message a lot of people need to see this. That’s why they say ask how your friends are doing you never know what they’re going through.
This is so sad...a reality that is not easy to face because the people looking from the outside just see a loving, caring, protective spouse whose always checks up on their partners every move..wants to know & approve of the company of people you keep around.
Thanks for making this video, most people only recognise/identify incorrect behaviour when they see it on visuals.
Thank you for this, brought tears to my eyes .Just walked away from a very toxic ,emotional and physically abusive relationship after 18 years one of the hardest things i have ever done .I struggle evey day because of it .Trying to move forward .
I am very thankful to you for your videos they really mean a lot .Keep up the good work .
Yaaass!👏👏👏👏💖 that means your strong!!!! 💪 don’t let life stop you from being you
Been to this not exactly all but more worst than this. Physically and emotionally abused wether in public or in private. Did try to bear for a year just to save the relationship since he is my first boyfriend after leaving consecrated life and having the strong faith in God's intervention to every person to change through prayers but no cooperation on his end so i realize it was an ineffective choice to allow myself being in pain and abused. Early decision to let go of this type of relationship is the best option. Love yourself first. Know that you deserve what is best and never settle for less. Thank you Jay. More power to you.
This came to me in the perfect timing. Just broke up with my abusive boyfriend of a year on Saturday. The healing has been hard, the waves really crash down sometimes, but I know it was worth it to leave bc I would’ve never been happy. Thankyou for videos like this that can open other’s eyes.
Thank you for making this. I was in an abusive marriage and relationships. WE NEED TO HEAR THIS!!!!
Having firm boundaries, especially if you love them, is SO important.
Don't ignore the subtle signs.
Respect is more important than anything.
When someone shows you their true colours, don't try to paint them out. Find another canvas and try someone else.
Keep growing, keep learning and keep healing xoxo
Thank you for putting out this video. Made me cry out of your realisation that its not just me who feels this is not real love and emotional abuse is real!
WORD FOR WORD I lived this 6yrs ago! We didn't live together, thank G-d but same scenario. He revealed his true colours on my birthday. Yeh, happy birthday! I left &never looked back. Happier ever since 😊
AMEN, Jay Shetty!!!! The truth shall set you free.
Great job guy. Jealousy is not a sign of love, it is a sign of abuse.
That is so very true. The only thing I can add is that some people have never really felt loved from a child and dont know what it looks like to feel real love. Sometimes people have never had it maybe as early as birth and sometimes they have somewhere shut themselves off to love because of loss or a traumatic experience. I am understanding that now. Thank you.
Well Jay, my life has a part of emotional abuse. My husband sometimes gets out of his control and lashes out on me. I have slowly started developing thick skin abd their was a certain point where i could close my ears and he was unheard. Then came one point where he was diagnosed with 'Bipolar disorder'. That changed my perspective completely. I slowly started understanding him, and the change worked. His rage side is getting cured without medications. He is not as abusive as i was seeing him. He slowly started enjoying small things and enjoying the life. It was last week i saw him getting wet in the rain with my son ☺
The best part, he accepted that he has Bipolar.
But the question still remains, was i the victim or him?
SquickSquick I think in this circumstance the abuser isn't capable himself .......
A mental disorder has nothing to do with domestic violence. I had the same dilemma once. The man was just EVIL. They are two separate things. If you can talk to someone about it, please do.
Biola Shofu well the first 3 years of marriage were disastrous. He was the same like the man shown in the video. Worse even. He didn't like me going to my parents house. I was lashed even when something wrong happened in his office. I always thought i had a bad relationship and 'I' was wrong. But i wasn't. I was just not putting puzzle in its proper place.
But things change, our mind is the most powerful thing in this whole universe. It has capability to calm the roaring sea.
SquickSquick Fair play for sticking it out...or not. Don't know. All I know is that ONE is enough. I would have kicked him to the curve. But I also don't have kids so I'm not in a position where I feel I HAVE to endure 'for the sake of the kids' but even then I don't think I'll stick around. I will never give up my job and financial independence for that very reason. Always be the Master of your own life.
It's fine now until he has another episode. If he is bipolar and is not using meds...this will happen again. Do you love him more than your child or yourself? Do you think you can save him? Great for that you have compassion, great for understanding him, but are you now changing who you are to suit his condition? This is codependency, enabling, it's not love. Be weary.
This hit home with me; by the end I was sobbing. Ten years I put up with that because there was children. It took me over two years after I left to start healing. Thank you for this, Jay! Somebody gets it! It was so difficult to find help when I finally realized it was time to leave because everyone thought I should just “try harder” or “it’s not that bad (since he doesn’t hit you)”. I had to leave or there would be nothing left of me for my children. I know now I waited too long, but I'm safe for the most part. I still have to deal with him concerning the children. I wish I didn't have to. It’s like trying to tell something urgent to someone who doesn’t speak your language (and I’ve studied six languages). Thanks, Jay.
Jay this is me,she has abused me for 4years we have been together I have realised how bad it was till I got into depression, thank you for saving my soul
This message is for me... my wounds are fresh .. I was feeling so down n just happen to see your video.. I need to start loving myself.
Perhaps you can stary by visiting this agency: www.opcc.net/sojourn?nd=sojourn
Man, you have golden words!! They just always hit the right chords.
Never again will I ever allow someone to put me down nor threaten me. I am so grateful to God who helped me n my kids get out of that relationship and now that my kids are all grown up they are happier then ever and I am stronger n better n wiser person/woman/mother.
I pray that those going thru this is their lives.. Yu deserve better for you..as a person!! Much love
True! It makes us to spend time in stress , thinking, feeling pressure loaded and alot !
Wow. I wish this video existed a year ago. For a year a 4 months I've been in a super emotionally abusive relationship and it put me in a really dark place. I had to break my own heart and leave in the end. Now all I'm doing is putting pieces of my being back together. Still, thank you so much Jay, for this Beautiful and inspirational video. Much love!
Begging for love is one of the cheapest acts.
Sometimes we pay attention to others so much that we forget to love ourselves.
Fore and foremost thing to is to love yourself first. Caring about mental and physical health. Apart from that fighting,struggling and growing to keep the relationship going.
Sadly I’ve had both but thank god I came across your videos and others that have helped me realize Ive been in Jezebel narcissistic relationships. And finally am learning to break free from this wicked spirit 🙏🙏🙏love thy self ❤️❤️❤️
Jay ,I have been a better person after I have watch your video ,I even tell people how good you are ,how motivated you are thank God for creating a person like you
Wonderfully said. Emotional abuse can be even worse than physical abuse coz other people won't validate it, and you have handle it all by yourself against everyone..
i wish i knew this years ago ...i wouldn't have stayed for 9 yers to uncover this..a good piece ..Thank u
I would rather break my heart because I plucked up the courage to leave rather than put up being treated with no respect whatsoever
So very true on abuse, besides starting to love yourself to know you can do better alone on your own is respective to yourself in first steps of healing.
Love everything about your videos sir, it touches every aspects of life....
Thank you for this video. Every sentence just hit home. I have been in a mentally, emotionally, physically abusive relationship. Deciding whether to believe his lies or to leave. It's clearer now. It's better I break my own heart once then have him break it every day.
It's better to break you're own heart by leaving, rather than have someone else break your heart everyday while you stay with them.... This thought really suited me... And I did it.... Its been two days since I ended our relationship and ended our story now I am continued writing a story but this time its only my own story. Thanks a lot for this... Your the best. More power to your Chanel and more subscribers to subscribe
Sojourn is a national agency that will listen, they understand this and have a hotline number: (310) 264-6644
I see women fall for the next man that is the same or worse than the first, you should get counseling, these men come disguised. Learn to recognise the signs.
I think a lot more people have been through this before than we realize. Just because we don’t know all of them doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
needed the strength to not go back to my toxic ex again and this showed up on my feed right on time! Your videos helped me through a lot of bad situations I didn’t know how to deal with. thank you Jay please keep doing what you do💫💫💖
Sojourn is national agency that will listen, they understand this and have a hotline number: (310) 264-6644
I am so happy there are influences like yourself out there sharing experiences like this. the world we live in now has of course so many negatives especially for the younger generation but this....your channels are the positive in the social media world. I've learnt so much the hard way with no direction, I was brought up to believe that showing emotion is weak, and that I thought I was never strong enough to feel like I was right! I'm recently in remission of cancer at 33....I now understand the true meaning of life and certainly not afraid of being me any more. Talking about all types of mental abuse is what we need and certainly the younger generation need to understand it isn't right...I be feel powerful and strong enough to stand up and walk away whether that be partners, friends or family. Influences like you let people like me and so so so so soooo many others believe THIS IS NOT RIGHT instead of feeling like it's our fault. Keep doing what you are doing jay.....you are living your reason for being on this planet take all that you can from that and know that you are truly a kind kind soul :)
So glad I got out of an abusive relationship. So easy to judge from the outside but you’re trapped when you’re on the inside.
thanks jay because of this i learned.. it really make me cry, all what you said is true..
U r too good sir ......u always show me right path .In your words I find my solution
Better to be alone than live like that. It will destroy you
I am speechless ....have no words for Mr Jay shetty
Love yourself, then trust , its not scary being with the best version of yourself...
You're right. I refuse to look back on the past 8 years. Some of the experiences were the darkest of my days. I have no idea how it has probably changed me.
Just yesterday I had our car kicked, I was kicked, repeatedly sworn at and called an f ing idiot, useless, loser and had my hair pulled repeatedly because I did not answer her phone for more than 5 mins whilst I was driving home. She needed the car for work and I told her I would be back in half an hr. I forgot to pair up the bluetooth so I couldn't answer the phone (didn't want to risk getting caught by the police holding a phone). I was literally around the corner from home...
She always blames me for her hitting me and using very inappropriate language to describe me. If I was really a loser or such a bad husband, I'm sure she would have left. Once she cools down she becomes loving again.
An AVO, psychologist and courts haven't been able to convince her that her expression of anger is so destructive. It is so embarrassing and I have to be very careful as she has put our son into the middle of this before and also tried to stop me going to work on my night shifts.
It is hard and I can tell you that I have been through some very difficult moments.
We have been planning to go to Europe together. Last year the courts etc upset her so she went overseas again without me. I have been waiting 10 years to travel with her overseas as she always goes with friends instead.
Even now she is threatening me and so I won't get excited or try to plan anything because she hold it over my head with threats of going without me. It's sad because in a normal relationship, the couple would be getting excited about seeing Europe for the first time. But instead I am refusing to get my hopes up. Last year she disappointed me because she had promised to travel to Tibet with me at the start of our relationship. She was so angry that she just went with a friend instead. During our first year of marriage she went with her friend back to China and refused to wait for me to get the time off work. Some things just don't change.
hi Matt i know u dont know me...But just a word of advise plz leave her while u still can..PLEASE I BEG OF U.
So true you just opened my eyes and my mind on something.. Thank you so much Mr. Jay
God bless you always🙇♀️❤
Jay I can not thank you enough for this video. Going through some really rough times in my life, I looked up for you on UA-cam as always and I found this video, It is helping me a lot. Please if possible make one for the men out there too, I'm sure so many people are going through some really crazy situations, women are not the only victims and women need to realize this too. But thanks again for this video. Bless you.
Follow your intuition and your love that is inside of you and you will find all the answers you're looking for.
Thank you so much for speaking about this! 🙏🙏🙏😊❤
I experienced that for 21 years both visible and invisible until I have depression. I'm.calling it quit as enough is enough. Can't even call it "love" in the first place, but was held emotionally hostage and I became immune to it. It's a wakeup call.
I have had to learn this the hard way. I hadn't realized I went from one abuse into a different kind... Now, it's not easy to leave a narcissist... Thanks for the information. Blessings!🙏
Yes emotional abuse is very hard to comprehend,sometimesyou may feel like you are in an relationship but you are in mess so be real with what you do because it can help you or destroy you and always remember that everything is practice in life.
one of the most wanted videos for people..... many people doesn't realise that they are staying in abusive relation...
I love the message. I left SOMEONE i loved, because i thought that person would have broken mine. There were signals, that could tell me that. So i left. I learned the hard way, to love myself more.
this is true.we need to take some decisions for the betterment of ourselves.thanks jay
The same shit happened to me too for 2 years. I couldn’t tell then because he made me so lonely stripped of all my friends stripped me of my self esteem that it sent me back into the pit of depression and panic attacks. Some experiences are horrifying they make you so damn weak that even after leaving that person you feel like you will never get over that feeling of worthlessness. And when you are at your lowest when you have no self love and no people to love you, you start to believe the lies he told about you and I went back to him which made it even more worse than it was before.
Wow. This really brings up old emotions. To anyone watching this and feeling this kind of hurt and confusion, remember this video. The more/longer you concede, the more you will have to and the more you will lose yourself. I used to think that love would be stronger and fix everything if I held fast as an example and "loved them through it". But if they aren't operating with unconditional, selfless love also and working through the issues that have made them that insecure, afraid and controlling, it's just one sided and they will suck the life right out of you. You become afraid to leave. My catalyst was when I realized 2 things: 1) this is what our children are learning, and 2) if I stay it will end with someone's death or absolute insanity. I didn't want either. Standing on the strength of that and reminding myself that there were much better things in store for myself & the kids, I left and never went back. It wasn't easy but I didn't bend. When your instincts start telling you that doesn't seem/feel right, listen to them!!
May I please request an upload for addiction? Your videos are really motivational and it helps me a lot, I can relate to most of your uploads and most of them really touched me
His dialogues are worth million dollars!
Yes Jay. I experienced this abuse for 3 and half years of relationships, but i made a strong decision to leave him. It was extremely hard in the beginning of new phase. But now i am very proud of myself that i took the important decision on my life and feeling happy and relieved.
I so happy to see all the inspiration speakers on here, but we need more to schools for children
Such wise words. Thank you 🤍
What a beautiful message
This is brilliant. Thank you so much for posting this. I have worked in programs to serve the abused for many years. This is very helpful.
Love YOURSELF.... Be TRUE to YOURSELF.. RESPECT YOURSELF..
Wow I asked God for a sign... Minutes later I got a notification about this video... Thank you!!! I'm so grateful I found your Channel
Sojourn is a national agency that will listen, they understand this and have a hotline number: (310) 264-6644
So true. We choose bcoz we need to be loved so badly that we can't even say its not love
What a powerful short clip with a very strong emphasis on the power of emotional abuse! 😭
Er is een groot verschil tussen liefde en bezit...
❤ Liefde zegt, "Laten we samen gelukkig zijn"
💔 Bezit zegt, "MAAK MIJ GELUKKIG"
Liefde deelt.
Bezit neemt.
Voor mij is liefde het delen van geluk en het streven naar elkaars welzijn, terwijl bezit egoïstisch is en alleen gericht op zelfvoldoening. 🌟 Laten we streven naar liefde en genieten van het geluk dat het brengt, in plaats van te streven naar bezit en nooit echt vervuld te zijn. ❤Let love guide us, not possessiveness.
U hv some positive vibe in u, i guess. Whenever i feel down, u lift me up through ur powerful words. I admire u a lot. Keep gng Shetty. Really inspired.😍
Many good and true words, Bravo!!!!
I don't know how I get myself here but am leaning a lot thanks soo much for sharing your wise words to others
This is my most favorite Jay Shetty video.
Jay, your videos are brilliant. Thank you
I really don't know ...weather my decision of moving on is right or wrong ..but this vedio touches my heart ..it is really difficult to move on. From a relationship where when you think that it is love of my lyf ...I gather all my guts and come out of months of emotional abuse .. it is damn true the wounds from emotional abuse are never healed ....it left a scar .which doesn't disappeared .with tym
Tq mr. Jay shetty..... I hope u continue to be a motivational leader...❤
So true 👌 Thankx so much Jay. Yeah Let Go of People who don't deserve you😍💯
This is everything I went through😔😔😔 thank god is over even though I’m still madly in love with him but sometimes getting out of a toxic relationship is better then barring yourself alive 😪😪😪
Man youre telling heartbreaking truthes about this so called life.
U r mind changer...true inspiration....for young generation....
Your words just penetrate in my head. So powerful words you use. Thank you for this video.
Thank u for stating facts. I was in an absuive realtionship for 3 years. I left him last year. It does scar you . However im back to my normal actual self. Im in a healthy realtionship now and engaged now.
Only because of you I am living jay, thank you
Thank you Jay Shetty for the video and your helpful 👍 Already got out of a relationship that was like your words 🙏🙏 God bless you 🙏 🙏
Speechless
The face of the lady really hit me at the end
Walked out for months ago from a narcissist and so hurt!!! Thing is I realised yesterday I was with another narcissist and he destroyed my family. Because of him my two eldest children got into foster care... I can’t believe I didn’t see that until yesterday. There’s a lot of transformation going on for the moment.
This is a compelling vedio. Outstanding performance. Bravo