Lesbian Stops Seeking Mother’s Approval & Finds Peace. “I Have to Start Living For Myself.”

From a young age, Nina Hernandez grappled with her mother's expectations, from being told to sit like a lady to being pressured to like boys. Longing for her mother’s approval while navigating her own identity, she eventually found the courage to come out as a lesbian. Though her mother did not react well at first, they were eventually able to reconcile - or so Nina thought. After a hostile lunch involving Nina, her mother and Nina’s girlfriend, she began to see that her mother hadn’t changed that much at all, and that seeking her approval was a futile task. Through this experience, Nina learned the importance of setting healthy boundaries and living authentically - and that the only approval she required was her own.
More first-person LGBTQ stories: imfromdriftwood.com/
I'm From Driftwood on Facebook: / imfromdriftwood
I'm From Driftwood on Instagram: / imfromdriftwood
I'm From Driftwood on Twitter: / imfromdriftwood

[@jonathan_herr]

And if your mom can't see past the gender to the person behind, that's HER fault, not yours.

[@mrslindydee]

I was shocked and upset when I found out my daughter was gay. I realised I didn't want to lose her so now I'm happy for her and she tells me everything. PS my son also gay. I love them both so much. I do hope you and your mum reconcile. Xx

[@benw9949]

It says a lot that the mom's response was to wonder what her friends would think, rather than concern for her daughter. -- Parents and other relatives sometimes just will not accept their children / relatives as gay, lesbian, etc., either for religious or other reasons, including that "what will people think?" line. -- I had to learn the hard way (again) that family would not accept me for being gay. -- I have wondered what my life would have been like if I could have come out as a teen, but it would have been hard or impossible, unless anyone had been there for me. -- Sometimes, you just have to draw that line and go on with your life, if relatives or friends won't accept you and won't have contact. Then you're not losing anything by not keeping in touch, if they don't want you. -- I would hope family and friends would be supportive, but too often, they aren't. You have to find out if there is still a chance to keep contact and rebuild a relationship. But you also have to be prepared for the possibility that there is not. Moving on from that realization can be really hard. Being on your own without enough support is rough. Just make the best of it, and make good friends.

[@donaldleevy7498]

That's sad but she made the decision to not be more accepting of you and your partner. You are a nice person. Hugs.

[@missnaomi613]

Good for you, not tolerating toxic relatives' attitudes!

[@samueljaramillo4221]

You need to stop living for your mother and live your life for yourself. If you don’t you’ll never be happy. Her mother doesn’t owe an explanation to her friends. Parents should love their children unconditionally. Her mother doesn’t do that.

[@AndrewHeller-jn7dx]

Bravo, Nina!!!
Just listening to you, has even helped me, so much!
Thanks so much!

[@evianamorales]

I'm sorry about you and your mom not having much of a relationship. Hopefully one day, she'll come around.

[@B.91.10]

Sounds like the Mom has N P T or D Cluster B.

[@bergaymott]

😭💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙