I think it's interesting no one talks abt the happy parts of the book (except you, who always says it portrays enduring hope and the strength of human spirit) because from my perspective, it's that happiness and love and hope that makes the tragedy most effective. I cried watching you vlog this, i KNOW i'm not strong enough to read it, so thank you
Agreed! If it was just the bad bits, then yeah, it would just be torture porn. But the happy parts are what brings it to life! (Which yes, makes it soooo sad)
@@DrinkingByMyShelf YES YES YES! I ALWAYS say this to people not wanting to read it because they think it sounds like torture porn. I think this book is mostly about this beautiful friendship, and other than that just real life (though not relatable life for most of us). There is so much beauty and love in this book.
Same! I have been interested in reading this book but I'm kinda scared of it and now knowing what exactly happens in it I can make a better informed decision of whether I want to go through these 700+ pages myself
I'm very glad I never read this book. I felt sick hearing all the things that happend. I would not have been able to read this without me going to a very dark place myself. I'm sure this book would be really good for some people, but I don't think I could ever handle reading about so many horrible topics in 1 book. I think it's amazing that you did this video because I don't think this book is 'safe' for some people, but the right audience would still want to pick this novel up after this
OK, one more (a little bit random) thing. I just yesterday learned that apparently there was a theater production of a little Life in The Netherlands in 2018/19. If I had known I would have gone, sadly I missed the news. But what I thought was really interesting there was that Brother Luke, Caleb, and Dr. Traylor were played by the same actor. Something Hanya Yanagihara loved and I think I do too.
The fact that even your summary had me sobbing...I can completely understand why it's beloved by so many. My copy is going to the charity shop though, I don't think I could handle it. Thanks for doing this. ❤️
People always think I'm crazy for loving spoilers or reading the ending first but it definitely helps my anxiety so I loved this because I have always been interested in this book!
This is such a great video. I loved this book with my whole being. I was a child who was victim to abuse and I was in awe at the hopefulness and rawness of this book. I know the author’s intent was to show a POV of someone’s life who doesn’t get better, and I think it’s a great discourse around trauma and how to live with it. In Jude’s case, he just couldn’t. But even still he tried so hard. And honestly, I am so thankful that this book exists, it is painful, but life can be painful. And people who live with trauma deserve a space for their stories to be heard.
I’m SO happy that I saw this video before reading it. Many people said that it was a deep book with deep issues in it, but since I’m someone who’s recovering pretty well from a really bad mental health, I was tempted to read it. My only triggers are SA and self harm, so I thought I’d give this book a try, but thank God I didn’t. Only by watching this I felt really sickened and depressed, so thank you very much for posting this, you’re a life saver!
Thank you so much for doing a spoiler filled vlog, I've always wanted to know what actually happens in this book but never wanted to actually read it myself!!
I read this book after one of my strongest depressive episodes (i was about to kill myself if it weren't for my best friend), i got this book and burnt through it in about 2 weeks or less, and ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT, and it made me feel a lot better, seeing jude still fighting despite everything (whether he survived or not, the point is that he kept fighting for one reason or another), also, i identified myself with jude so much (i had a painful experience during my childhood that involves abuse, and also REALLY BAD experiences with therapy that made me hate the whole thing), so... Yeah... This is my favourite book now, although it probably shouldn't be since i'm not a particularly stable person when it comes to mental health, idc about any of it, this book changed my life for the better, amd i will always love it bc of it, bc of this book and a few other things i'm willing to keep living, to keep going, to keep fighting against my own demons 🖤 PS: i didn't cried at all with this book, and based on what most people think, i should've. I just wished some people would stop satanizing this book bc it is so great and important to me now :( PS 2: pls don't call this book "trauma porn", that is a really stupid term, some might believe or not but there are a lot of judes out there, amd people saying that is impossible to go through all that invalidates their lives and o hate that :(
I hope you’re doing well! I think your review says so much about you. That despite all the struggles you still see the positives. That takes a very strong person and I hope that you know that you are that person. Thanks again!
I'm glad you were able to read this and that you saw Jude's strength. You are very right, they are so many Jude's out there. We need to be more aware to help them in this mad world. Just curious, how come they are satanizing it?? It's reality!
Why am i sobbing at 9.30am on a Friday morning? Reliving those final chapters with you BROKE my heart again. But thank you for reminding me of the beauty in the book and why as much as it emotionally destroyed me I truely loved it.
i have suspected all along that this book isnt for me, and after watching this i know i was right! thank you for going through this for us, i also cried a little watching this heh. but also, hearing you talk about it i completely understand why people love it and i think thats nice.
Your book summary was brilliantly done. I loved your changes of wardrobe and location, and actually holding the book, and showing your emotions, and communicating what happens between the 4 friends, and Harold without judgment. What a tumultuous life, with just glimpses of hope and light. Thank you!
thank you! there is a part of me who wants to read it because im curious as to why so many people say it's so sad. but at the same time, i cry from happy books, so i dont want to go through the pain.
Thank god you did this. Since the a little life vlog hype happened i’ve been looking for a spoiler filled vlog to tell me why this is such an emotional book. Thank you Emma ♥️
Thank you for doing this (it must have been really difficult). I read A Little Life last year and it totally broke me but in a weird way I sometimes miss the story (or mostly the characters). It was so nice to see someone actually making a video with spoilers because I don't think I could ever reread it myself.
Thank you for this video! I never had any intention to read this book because it sounded boring af but everyone keeps talking about it and noone ever mentions WHAT is so sad about it and what the plot even is that it made me a bit curious. Watching this reassured me that I would find it incredibly boring and it's not for me at all but I'm glad I finally know what the plot even is.
Omg thank you so much for putting yourself through this for us! I have had A Little Life sitting on my bookshelf for probably three years (maybe more?) and I've always been kind of terrified to pick it up because everyone talks about how bleak it is, but I've never actually heard what the story itself is even about (except that there are queer characters). So after hearing what all the bad things that happen in this book actually are, I do feel a little more confident and prepared to pick it up.
I really really love this, so thank you! Now, I have read this book, twice and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE it. It is everything. I've seen a lot of people talking about how they don't want to read this book lately, and while this video is for people who never plan on reading it, I needed seeing someone loving over this book❤. I love all the characters in this book and seeing you react to it brought all of it back. I spent the whole video hugging the book and crying (I don't care if that's weird). And I loved it.
I read from the Happy Years to the end on the plane home from a holiday and it was a WILD RIDE! Would not recommend ha! Thank you for doing this video and reminding me why I loved the beautiful friendships in this book 🧡
I was sobbing just by this review, I wouldn't bare reading it myself, thanks for doing this, you saved me from my own curiosity taking over me. god this is beautifully sad; it's not a sweet story, it's a heartbreaking story written so well it makes it beautiful. I want to get inside that book and give Jude a hug
I absolutely loved this book and do plan to eventually read again, but content about it ALWAYS draws my attention, because it was such a special reading experience. I think this is an amazing idea for anyone who may not mentally be in the right head space to read it, or even people who don't have the time to read this story! Your mind!!!
I’m here because I watched Hannah’s new video who said that it completely disturbed her in a really bad way. And I’m happy that you made this video where you tell us all about the book. I also know that I could NEVER read this in my life. I never really knew what it was about. It’s just way too much trauma and explicit violence for me oh my gosh I even had to skip the part about the “doctor” and the car just when you were taking about it, so I don’t know how I could ever read a (graphic) book about that
Aw...thank you for this. I’ve had this book on my shelf for a while but I’m on meds for anxiety & depression....so have been weary. I’m glad I didn’t read it and watched your video instead! Have a lovely weekend ☺️
I would have never been able to read it myself...Just watching the whole video , i feel so drained and my brain hurts ... I feel so so strongly for Jude , it breaks my heart and also when she mentioned that Willem dies , i cried too without even reading it... Its such a heavy book... Thank you so much for making this video ...i would never ever be able to go through so much pain in detail alone ever... Ughhh it hurts
I've never read it but after watching this video and balling my eyes out, I think it's safe to say I would not be able to handle the pain if I read it. It sounds like a very beautifully written story and maybe in a few years time I'll give it a go because it sounds like a book you should read at least once! 💕
Read it last month. Absolutely destroyed me 😢 Tbh, I was going to dnf it at the halfway point because it was just too miserable and it just wouldn't end! But! I gave it another chance because you always say, that the book feels also very hopeful to you. So I kept going, loved the happy times that came, wanted to burn the book for even taking that away and decided that I love it more than I hate it! I swear, I never had such a complicated relationship with a book 😂 Thank you Emma, for inspiring me to keep going ♥ this book will always have a special place in my heart now
Thank you!!! I have been back-and-forth with whether or not I wanted to torture myself with this book. I absolutely love full spoiler videos because it gives me something to come back to once I have finished a book to see other peoples’ reactions. Plus, if I’m on the fence they help me to determine whether or not I want to read a book. I appreciate this Vlog more than you know! Keep them coming 🌟🌟🌟
I'm so happy you covered this entire book! I didn't get past page 110 because I just felt the story dragging even though it was only starting to pick up in plot. Now I kind of regret not sticking through it. Who doesn't enjoy a good cry after a book? Love your commentary!
I cried for the majority of this video with you. 😭😭 I was one of them sceptics/scaredycats who read (and vlogged) this book and experience and while I LOVED this book for everything you said - the people, their relationships and yes, the happiness (I found myself happy crying to an entire conversation about maths, which is MAD). BUT -- I didn't like the way the book made me feel. Where I felt like I was waiting for another shoe to drop - to see how the book is going to inflict pain on me. And I know this is attributed to the hype around this book and what readers have said and thus you're expecting it but also, it's just what the book is and what I felt. So do with that information what you may. 😂 Thanks for this video though. ❤️ Well summed up. 🙏🏼
I don't have it in me to read through something with these many triggers and sad plot points. So, I'm glad for this spoiler video that gave me a gist on why this book is so loved. Thank you :)
Even watching the reading vlog and remembering when I read the book last year I needed to cry. I agree with you though that all the love is absolutely beautiful even if it makes everything more heartbreaking. Lovely vlog!
I’m so conflicted about this book. Lifestyle prøn, manipulating the reader’s emotions shamelessly, Jude is a weird kind of hurt/comfort Gary Stu character... yet I couldn’t help giving it four stars 🤦 Edit: Your analysis of the various narrative voices is so incisive and spot on! I feel like I need a reread so I can appreciate it fully.
Well update, I’m done with the book, and I am shattered into a million pieces. I only cried one other time reading a book, but it’s nothing compared to how much I cried reading this. I just broke down. And then I cried again watching this video. I don’t know if it’s the writing or the fact that you get to be with those characters for such a big part of their lives... but wow. So, so heartbreaking. I didn’t think it would break my heart so much. Wow. Thank you Emma for making me discover this book.
I loved this book so much! I was kinda impressed by the fact that a female writer could capture a gay male character so holistically and with such depth. I never cry but this book made me do so and I loved every minute of it. P.S. I mostly cried during the happy years because I was happy for Jude and Willem. The grief also was very moving and meaningful. 5/5
I think the book is necessary and cathartic. The lows are low and the highs are high. The books makes it pretty clear that Jude needed therapy, he wasn't ugly or disgusting and nothing that happened to him was his fault. Idk why people have such a huge problem with the book when the message is so positive
Just listening to you talk about the part where Jude was thinking about Anna (sp?) and how he wanted help made me want to cry. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to read this book so thank you for the spoilers
Thanks for doing this! I dnf'ed this right before the Happy Years -part because I just couldn't take it anymore. But I was really curious about what happens! Now I know it was definitely the correct decision to stop reading, I may have ruined my mental health with that ending whew
I’m one of the odd ones who had never heard of this book before and I’ve started reading it and now I’m watching this video as I make progress with the book. So far, everything Emma says I can relate to. I wasn’t sold on the first chunk of pages but now I’m fully invested in it. The first Jude part already broke my heart. I don’t think I’m ready for what’s coming.
Not me crying over a book i never read (and never will). Thank u soooo much for making this video!!! After aclockworkreaders most recent video about this book i knew definitively i would never read it, but was still curious to know the plot and what happens. You spoke on the book beautiful and from a 40 minute video i made a connection to these characters enough to fucking sob at the ending
My goodness, you video deserves way much more likes because of what you went through. I just found this book and was looking for something like this so first of all THANK YOU!. it felt so nice to hear your and to "read" it with you. When I saw you crying....my heart just....I just couldn't. My goodness I just want to hug you so bad ! Like you wanted to give Jude a hug. I'm speechless. Also it was interesting to see you from the beginning of the video to the end. Your face changed so much, and that's the power of books and movies. I just wish you a beautiful day!
My only thought after finishing the book was just Harold. Poor poor lovely father. He must be so utterly devastated and heartbroken. But I hope the letters would help him learn where Jude came from and why he was that way. Another thing, I'm so happy and also envious for the friendship and love portrayed there. Jude is also such an incredible friend. This.....this is just so unfair 😭😭
Thank you for also pointing out, how much love and hope there is in the book! I love this book. Just finished a second time and I know I will read it again. It always breaks my heart, but in a way that's the point. But for me it's also so much about Support, friendship and love....
I can't handle reading about SA of any kind but this book still intrigued me because of the hype. Thanks to you, I know now not to touch it with even a ten-foot pole. So, thank you!
I always thought I was curious about this, but I couldn't go past Part IV and I'm not even reading it, I'm just watching you talk. Def not for me, but glad you got to spend time with characters you love for this project :)
I find it so interesting that people can read the same book and have such different opinions on it - and A Little Life is sooo polarizing! I read it and was very gripped by the book and thought the writing was quite beautiful, however I didn't find the characters' lives relatable at all; I wasn't saddened by the events, I was just sick to my stomach and angry. I'm no one to dictate that it is unrealistic that one's life can go through so many awful things, obviously, but it did seem like everything awful that could happen to Jude happened to him... At which point I just got desensitized...
I wish I saw this sooner cause I lowkey just made myself depressed. I had to stop reading when Jude was now on a wheel chair permanently, then just decided to search the ending and I can’t believe Willem dies first! And omg Jude commits!? I know life isn’t always happy but I wasn’t prepared for that much terribly traumatic experiences…there should be more warning
I read this book in one day, that I think by the end I was just so desensitized to it, that I didn't even cry... should've maybe spread it out a bit more
I read A little life five years ago and I remember skipping some difficult to read parts, but after watching the first few minutes of your video, I kind of want to read it again. Especially when you talked about Andy and Harold. I liked those side characters a lot actually. But I am scared to try reading it again. 😬
I'm so sorry you had to go though this damn story again lol but thank you for taking the time to share te whole story with full spoilers, because I've always been curious about it but knew I could never read it. But good god, I almost cried just by watching you tell the things that happen, can't even imagine reading it by myself
Thank you for the spoiler.. I thought about reading it, I've read until page 50 something. Never thought the story would be that awful and depressing. Thank God I stumbled upon ur video first before finishing it. Listened to this, I already felt really really sad and depressed. I won't survive the book. Again thank you so much!
Thank you Emma!!!! I WAS curious but didn’t want to cry. So thanks for crying for me. The story does sound beautiful but definitely not something I could read now. Hope you’re feeling un-blue soon❤️
Thank you for this video. I just finished the book, I’ve never properly cried from reading before. But this story broke me. I haven’t been able to figure out how to process all my thought and feeling after reading. I needed someone to talk to about it, but no one I do talk to has read it. But this video, so wonderfully done. It helped me move on. And you summed it up so perfect. One thing that really got to me that you didn’t mention was when Jude acts out at Harold and Julia, throws a plate against the wall and insults them. Hoping they will finally treat him ”the way he deserves”, hit him, yell at him, throw him out. But they just hold him, love him. And he finally lets Harold love him, and accepts it. 🥲 But then at the end, as told from Harolds perspective, I don’t know if I’ll ever recover. Thanks again, will give you a sub and. You seem like a really lovely person and I look forward to hearing you do less heart wrenching content 😁
Well, I knew I didn't want to read this book but I didn't quite understand how BADLY I DID NOT WANT TO READ THIS BOOK. The sheer, unapologetic ableism... I have... no words. Thank you Emma, genuinely, because I probably could have been persuaded to read this before watching this video but there is no way I'd read it now. Jesus. I was sitting here, as a woman who uses a wheelchair, thinking... 'this is ableist, it must be, am I the only one seeing this?!' And googled and other people have definitely found it ableist so I feel validated 🤣 I appreciate what you find so hopeful about it though, please do not think I'm criticising you personally! Hope you have a good weekend, and that you are on the way to recovering from this. 💖
Out of interest, which parts are ableist? Obviously there are portrayals of an incredibly ableist and terrible character, as well as a traumatised main character who experiences internalised ableism, and so I wouldn’t recommend reading it for anyone who would find that too unpleasant to read, but is the book itself ableist for including these elements?
@@DrinkingByMyShelf Thank you for responding to my comment. I have been sitting here for like an hour trying to figure out how to phrase the answers to your questions. I found this article, which doesn't exactly pinpoint my thoughts but I felt the "narrative prosthesis" idea was quite poignant: (onbeing.org/blog/marian-ryan-im-a-disabled-woman-who-wants-to-see-more-literary-characters-like-me/). My thoughts are somewhere between "should non disabled authors really be writing about internalised ableism of a disabled character?" to somewhere around profiting off this critique of internalised ableism... and then I messaged a friend and she was like, "it's me before you vibes pal, that's what it is", which I agreed with (she has read the book and agrees it's ableist) but again didn't really answer your question... but then I'm thinking "the ending is ableist in itself!"... so my brain is clearly not having an easy time explaining it to you... and then I realised it's 5pm on a Friday night, maybe the Pisces people-pleaser in me doesn't in fact need to be educating about ableism right now... xD but I appreciate your interest, and I'm sorry I can't seem to form the words, really - hope that gave you some ideas! Have a great night, Emma :)
@@DrinkingByMyShelf hi jumping on this comment to talk more about the ableism in this book. I have chronic pain and a self-harm problem and I did not feel “seen” in this book, I felt caricatured. It’s clear that Yanigihara wrote this book for ableds - it has a super “aren’t you glad you aren’t disabled” vibe. Strong dislike. There are plenty threads and articles out there about how ableist it is but the thing that bothered me most about this book were the portrayals of Willem’s brother, Harold’s first son, and Caleb’s parents - all dead disabled people. Willem, Harold, and Caleb all have (again, dead) “starter disableds” which are basically props to show their character. For Willem and Harold, it shows they’re “one of the good ones” and for Caleb it shows he’s “evil” (there’s no in between - there’s no room for people to be casually ableist and how that’s also bad). Abled people can read Caleb’s extreme ableism and go “well I’m not like that so I don’t have to examine my abled bodied privilege.” There are so many ways in which ableism is baked into society and it absolutely should be examined and dismantled. This book basically ignores all of that. Willem especially has the vibe of those “tearjerker” videos of abled teens asking disabled students to prom. Isn’t Willem such a good person for loving “someone like Jude?” It just perpetuates the myth that disabled people are “hard to love” and are “burdens.” This is why it’s “okay” for Willem to cheat in his relationship with Jude. He’s already “given up” so much by being in a relationship with a disabled person so who could blame him for having sex with abled people? I was so mad about this book when I read it I literally threw it across the room when I finished it. The fact that we all *know* that Jude will kill himself throughout the entire book is also just super gross. Disabled lives are valid and this book just sees disability as a tragedy. This book also shows Willem’s place in Jude’s life to be Jude’s main reason to live, and when he’s gone, Jude has nothing to live for. Malcolm is also gone and JB is kind of gone too because he’s done the extremely offensive impression of Jude. The fact that Jude has a career and a loving adopted family is disregarded. Jude and his internalized ableism is a mirror for a lot of the abled population that kind of thinks “if only disabled people didn’t see themselves as broken people. They’re beautiful in their own way.” Plenty of disabled people know their worth and have to advocate daily for basic human rights. #DisabledAndCute is a hashtag created by a disabled woman wanting to show off that disabled people are beautiful full stop not “beautiful in their own way.” However when disabled people do anything (especially online) that’s just living their life or saying something self-affirming, they get tons of abuse, often by the same abled people I just mentioned. I could go on but I just don’t have the spoons right now. We’re all allowed to have problematic faves, but it’s important to know their flaws! 🥰❤️
I saved this to my watch later for when I finally read the book just to see your reactions. Finally finished and need to see you talk about it to work through my own emotions 😂 I think Andy is really underrated as a character, the first time I cried was when Andy cried at the adoption news!
I have no interest in reading this but I am always curious about everything, so thank you for doing a spoiler one
Ha I’m the same I always want spoilers of everything!
Samee I don’t think I could mentally read this but please tell me all it is about
I didn't realise this book was even like this before I read it. I naively thought it was about four friends growing up 😣
I tried reading it but it was too boring 😂 so I just wanna know how it ends
You are missing out
I think it's interesting no one talks abt the happy parts of the book (except you, who always says it portrays enduring hope and the strength of human spirit) because from my perspective, it's that happiness and love and hope that makes the tragedy most effective. I cried watching you vlog this, i KNOW i'm not strong enough to read it, so thank you
Agreed! If it was just the bad bits, then yeah, it would just be torture porn. But the happy parts are what brings it to life! (Which yes, makes it soooo sad)
@@DrinkingByMyShelf YES YES YES! I ALWAYS say this to people not wanting to read it because they think it sounds like torture porn. I think this book is mostly about this beautiful friendship, and other than that just real life (though not relatable life for most of us). There is so much beauty and love in this book.
Spoilers aren't a turn off for me for reading a book, but they do make it so I know whether a polarizing book is up my alley.
Same! I have been interested in reading this book but I'm kinda scared of it and now knowing what exactly happens in it I can make a better informed decision of whether I want to go through these 700+ pages myself
jude st francis deserves the universe and everything in it x
YES HE DOES
I know Jude endures more pain than anyone else in this story, but I can't help feeling for JB at the end.
I'm very glad I never read this book. I felt sick hearing all the things that happend. I would not have been able to read this without me going to a very dark place myself. I'm sure this book would be really good for some people, but I don't think I could ever handle reading about so many horrible topics in 1 book. I think it's amazing that you did this video because I don't think this book is 'safe' for some people, but the right audience would still want to pick this novel up after this
Also, I found it interesting that everyone died after Jude died, like it was their love for him was somehow integral to their being.
Yes they all died in short span of time after he died
Not everyone. Harold and Julia didn't die and neither did JB.
Jude was the last one that we were told died. Malcolm and Willem died before Jude, and JB, Harold, and Julia were alive after Jude’s death.
@@davidcarver9752 Andy and Richard died just a few years after Jude‘s death
It could have something to do with the fact that Jude died at like 60
OK, one more (a little bit random) thing. I just yesterday learned that apparently there was a theater production of a little Life in The Netherlands in 2018/19. If I had known I would have gone, sadly I missed the news. But what I thought was really interesting there was that Brother Luke, Caleb, and Dr. Traylor were played by the same actor. Something Hanya Yanagihara loved and I think I do too.
Oh interesting!
OH OKAY UPDATE! They are performing the show again in september!!! It is gonna be hard to watch it happen too, but I'm so excited to go!
And there’s a livestream of the show with English/French subtitles happening on October 1st for anyone that can’t attend in person!!
@@ccoquito I KNOW! So everybody can watch it this friday!😁
I'll see it live TOMORROW!😍
@@ccoquito is there any way to watch the livestream now?
Ok SPOILER ALERT
I always had expected Jude or Harold to die but NEVER Willem. This is so unfair, the years are not happy. This is not fair...
In everything i see, i see him
I think there was happiness in those years, they had such a closeness between them..
Willem's death puts an end to the chapter though
Ok no way I could’ve read that myself, but I’m glad I now know what it’s all about. Thank you for your service 😄
You are most welcome 😂
saaame
yes lol
The fact that even your summary had me sobbing...I can completely understand why it's beloved by so many. My copy is going to the charity shop though, I don't think I could handle it. Thanks for doing this. ❤️
People always think I'm crazy for loving spoilers or reading the ending first but it definitely helps my anxiety so I loved this because I have always been interested in this book!
This is such a great video. I loved this book with my whole being. I was a child who was victim to abuse and I was in awe at the hopefulness and rawness of this book. I know the author’s intent was to show a POV of someone’s life who doesn’t get better, and I think it’s a great discourse around trauma and how to live with it. In Jude’s case, he just couldn’t. But even still he tried so hard. And honestly, I am so thankful that this book exists, it is painful, but life can be painful. And people who live with trauma deserve a space for their stories to be heard.
Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
This is beautiful
I’m SO happy that I saw this video before reading it. Many people said that it was a deep book with deep issues in it, but since I’m someone who’s recovering pretty well from a really bad mental health, I was tempted to read it. My only triggers are SA and self harm, so I thought I’d give this book a try, but thank God I didn’t. Only by watching this I felt really sickened and depressed, so thank you very much for posting this, you’re a life saver!
Thank you so much for doing a spoiler filled vlog, I've always wanted to know what actually happens in this book but never wanted to actually read it myself!!
Your dog getting so concerned about you was EVERYTHING.
I read this book after one of my strongest depressive episodes (i was about to kill myself if it weren't for my best friend), i got this book and burnt through it in about 2 weeks or less, and ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT, and it made me feel a lot better, seeing jude still fighting despite everything (whether he survived or not, the point is that he kept fighting for one reason or another), also, i identified myself with jude so much (i had a painful experience during my childhood that involves abuse, and also REALLY BAD experiences with therapy that made me hate the whole thing), so... Yeah... This is my favourite book now, although it probably shouldn't be since i'm not a particularly stable person when it comes to mental health, idc about any of it, this book changed my life for the better, amd i will always love it bc of it, bc of this book and a few other things i'm willing to keep living, to keep going, to keep fighting against my own demons 🖤
PS: i didn't cried at all with this book, and based on what most people think, i should've. I just wished some people would stop satanizing this book bc it is so great and important to me now :(
PS 2: pls don't call this book "trauma porn", that is a really stupid term, some might believe or not but there are a lot of judes out there, amd people saying that is impossible to go through all that invalidates their lives and o hate that :(
thank you so much for sharing! stay strong
I hope you’re doing well! I think your review says so much about you. That despite all the struggles you still see the positives. That takes a very strong person and I hope that you know that you are that person. Thanks again!
I'm glad you were able to read this and that you saw Jude's strength. You are very right, they are so many Jude's out there. We need to be more aware to help them in this mad world. Just curious, how come they are satanizing it?? It's reality!
thank you for this comment. I really hope you are still fighting x
Your dog being emotionally supportive is the most heart warming part of this video. Everything else about this story broke my heart 😭
Why am i sobbing at 9.30am on a Friday morning? Reliving those final chapters with you BROKE my heart again. But thank you for reminding me of the beauty in the book and why as much as it emotionally destroyed me I truely loved it.
i have suspected all along that this book isnt for me, and after watching this i know i was right! thank you for going through this for us, i also cried a little watching this heh. but also, hearing you talk about it i completely understand why people love it and i think thats nice.
Malcom's description in the begining represents me more than my passport.
Jb and jude describes me.
Your book summary was brilliantly done. I loved your changes of wardrobe and location, and actually holding the book, and showing your emotions, and communicating what happens between the 4 friends, and Harold without judgment. What a tumultuous life, with just glimpses of hope and light. Thank you!
I read this in January and just only stopped crying why am I making myself relive it
thank you! there is a part of me who wants to read it because im curious as to why so many people say it's so sad. but at the same time, i cry from happy books, so i dont want to go through the pain.
I was strong while reading this and didn't shed a single tear until I started dear comrade. I cried for the rest of the book
Thank god you did this. Since the a little life vlog hype happened i’ve been looking for a spoiler filled vlog to tell me why this is such an emotional book. Thank you Emma ♥️
Thank you for doing this (it must have been really difficult). I read A Little Life last year and it totally broke me but in a weird way I sometimes miss the story (or mostly the characters). It was so nice to see someone actually making a video with spoilers because I don't think I could ever reread it myself.
Thank you for this video! I never had any intention to read this book because it sounded boring af but everyone keeps talking about it and noone ever mentions WHAT is so sad about it and what the plot even is that it made me a bit curious. Watching this reassured me that I would find it incredibly boring and it's not for me at all but I'm glad I finally know what the plot even is.
😂
Omg thank you so much for putting yourself through this for us! I have had A Little Life sitting on my bookshelf for probably three years (maybe more?) and I've always been kind of terrified to pick it up because everyone talks about how bleak it is, but I've never actually heard what the story itself is even about (except that there are queer characters). So after hearing what all the bad things that happen in this book actually are, I do feel a little more confident and prepared to pick it up.
I really really love this, so thank you! Now, I have read this book, twice and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE it. It is everything. I've seen a lot of people talking about how they don't want to read this book lately, and while this video is for people who never plan on reading it, I needed seeing someone loving over this book❤.
I love all the characters in this book and seeing you react to it brought all of it back. I spent the whole video hugging the book and crying (I don't care if that's weird). And I loved it.
I read from the Happy Years to the end on the plane home from a holiday and it was a WILD RIDE! Would not recommend ha! Thank you for doing this video and reminding me why I loved the beautiful friendships in this book 🧡
I was sobbing just by this review, I wouldn't bare reading it myself, thanks for doing this, you saved me from my own curiosity taking over me.
god this is beautifully sad; it's not a sweet story, it's a heartbreaking story written so well it makes it beautiful.
I want to get inside that book and give Jude a hug
I absolutely loved this book and do plan to eventually read again, but content about it ALWAYS draws my attention, because it was such a special reading experience. I think this is an amazing idea for anyone who may not mentally be in the right head space to read it, or even people who don't have the time to read this story! Your mind!!!
I’m here because I watched Hannah’s new video who said that it completely disturbed her in a really bad way. And I’m happy that you made this video where you tell us all about the book.
I also know that I could NEVER read this in my life. I never really knew what it was about. It’s just way too much trauma and explicit violence for me oh my gosh
I even had to skip the part about the “doctor” and the car just when you were taking about it, so I don’t know how I could ever read a (graphic) book about that
Exactly same!
started playing and paused instantly bc in the middle of reading it currently just to comment how incredible the thumbnail is.... visionary
Aw...thank you for this. I’ve had this book on my shelf for a while but I’m on meds for anxiety & depression....so have been weary. I’m glad I didn’t read it and watched your video instead! Have a lovely weekend ☺️
I would have never been able to read it myself...Just watching the whole video , i feel so drained and my brain hurts ... I feel so so strongly for Jude , it breaks my heart and also when she mentioned that Willem dies , i cried too without even reading it... Its such a heavy book... Thank you so much for making this video ...i would never ever be able to go through so much pain in detail alone ever... Ughhh it hurts
I've never read it but after watching this video and balling my eyes out, I think it's safe to say I would not be able to handle the pain if I read it. It sounds like a very beautifully written story and maybe in a few years time I'll give it a go because it sounds like a book you should read at least once! 💕
Read it last month. Absolutely destroyed me 😢 Tbh, I was going to dnf it at the halfway point because it was just too miserable and it just wouldn't end! But! I gave it another chance because you always say, that the book feels also very hopeful to you. So I kept going, loved the happy times that came, wanted to burn the book for even taking that away and decided that I love it more than I hate it! I swear, I never had such a complicated relationship with a book 😂 Thank you Emma, for inspiring me to keep going ♥ this book will always have a special place in my heart now
Oh wow!! I’m sorry for putting you through so much misery haha but I’m glad that you loved it more than hated it overall!
I read a little life in 2020 and it put me in a 2 year reading slump…I just started reading again last month lmao
Thank you!!! I have been back-and-forth with whether or not I wanted to torture myself with this book. I absolutely love full spoiler videos because it gives me something to come back to once I have finished a book to see other peoples’ reactions. Plus, if I’m on the fence they help me to determine whether or not I want to read a book. I appreciate this Vlog more than you know! Keep them coming 🌟🌟🌟
I'm so happy you covered this entire book! I didn't get past page 110 because I just felt the story dragging even though it was only starting to pick up in plot. Now I kind of regret not sticking through it. Who doesn't enjoy a good cry after a book? Love your commentary!
i haven’t read a little life yet and don’t want to spoilers so i’m just here to drop a like and a comment for the algorithm!! see you monday emma
Thank you!!!
Literally just watching you read it and explain it made me cry, I couldn't imagine ever being able to read it myself haha
I cried for the majority of this video with you. 😭😭 I was one of them sceptics/scaredycats who read (and vlogged) this book and experience and while I LOVED this book for everything you said - the people, their relationships and yes, the happiness (I found myself happy crying to an entire conversation about maths, which is MAD). BUT -- I didn't like the way the book made me feel. Where I felt like I was waiting for another shoe to drop - to see how the book is going to inflict pain on me. And I know this is attributed to the hype around this book and what readers have said and thus you're expecting it but also, it's just what the book is and what I felt.
So do with that information what you may. 😂 Thanks for this video though. ❤️ Well summed up. 🙏🏼
Not me already having read the book and yet still CRYING during your summary
I don't have it in me to read through something with these many triggers and sad plot points. So, I'm glad for this spoiler video that gave me a gist on why this book is so loved. Thank you :)
Even watching the reading vlog and remembering when I read the book last year I needed to cry. I agree with you though that all the love is absolutely beautiful even if it makes everything more heartbreaking.
Lovely vlog!
I’m so conflicted about this book. Lifestyle prøn, manipulating the reader’s emotions shamelessly, Jude is a weird kind of hurt/comfort Gary Stu character... yet I couldn’t help giving it four stars 🤦
Edit: Your analysis of the various narrative voices is so incisive and spot on! I feel like I need a reread so I can appreciate it fully.
I also read this book a good three years ago so this is such a great way to relive it and my main thought is just "HAROOOLLDDDD!!!!!!" ❤️
Thank you for doing this review/summary. The trigger warnings scared me away from actually reading it but I still wanted to hear the story.
I love your spoiler videos! Thanks so much for going through this pain again for us 😂🙌❤
man I cried just watching this could not read it for the life of me
I finished reading this last night and I'm already crying when you introduced the characters lmaoo
Well update, I’m done with the book, and I am shattered into a million pieces. I only cried one other time reading a book, but it’s nothing compared to how much I cried reading this. I just broke down. And then I cried again watching this video. I don’t know if it’s the writing or the fact that you get to be with those characters for such a big part of their lives... but wow. So, so heartbreaking. I didn’t think it would break my heart so much. Wow. Thank you Emma for making me discover this book.
Wow! I’m sorry for the tears but I’m glad you found this book as special as I did.
@@DrinkingByMyShelf I’m glad I did honestly! This book will stay with me for life! You weren’t kidding when you said it would totally make us cried!!!
I loved this book so much! I was kinda impressed by the fact that a female writer could capture a gay male character so holistically and with such depth. I never cry but this book made me do so and I loved every minute of it. P.S. I mostly cried during the happy years because I was happy for Jude and Willem. The grief also was very moving and meaningful. 5/5
i agree that people never talk about the hopeful parts! i’m guessing those have never read something this dark so that’s all they focus on lol
you made me cry like i was reliving this book :(
I loved this novel and loved this video! I admire your dedication for books and book themed videos you do.
Dude i'm crying from just hearing this summary let alone reading the book later 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I think the book is necessary and cathartic. The lows are low and the highs are high. The books makes it pretty clear that Jude needed therapy, he wasn't ugly or disgusting and nothing that happened to him was his fault. Idk why people have such a huge problem with the book when the message is so positive
Going to watch this while I finish paintings that are very overdue, you’re doing gods work
Just listening to you talk about the part where Jude was thinking about Anna (sp?) and how he wanted help made me want to cry. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to read this book so thank you for the spoilers
Thanks for doing this! I dnf'ed this right before the Happy Years -part because I just couldn't take it anymore. But I was really curious about what happens! Now I know it was definitely the correct decision to stop reading, I may have ruined my mental health with that ending whew
I’m one of the odd ones who had never heard of this book before and I’ve started reading it and now I’m watching this video as I make progress with the book. So far, everything Emma says I can relate to. I wasn’t sold on the first chunk of pages but now I’m fully invested in it. The first Jude part already broke my heart. I don’t think I’m ready for what’s coming.
Not me crying over a book i never read (and never will). Thank u soooo much for making this video!!! After aclockworkreaders most recent video about this book i knew definitively i would never read it, but was still curious to know the plot and what happens. You spoke on the book beautiful and from a 40 minute video i made a connection to these characters enough to fucking sob at the ending
Thank you so much for this, I was very curious about this book but couldn’t bring myself to read it ❤
My goodness, you video deserves way much more likes because of what you went through. I just found this book and was looking for something like this so first of all THANK YOU!. it felt so nice to hear your and to "read" it with you. When I saw you crying....my heart just....I just couldn't. My goodness I just want to hug you so bad ! Like you wanted to give Jude a hug. I'm speechless. Also it was interesting to see you from the beginning of the video to the end. Your face changed so much, and that's the power of books and movies. I just wish you a beautiful day!
My only thought after finishing the book was just Harold. Poor poor lovely father. He must be so utterly devastated and heartbroken. But I hope the letters would help him learn where Jude came from and why he was that way.
Another thing, I'm so happy and also envious for the friendship and love portrayed there. Jude is also such an incredible friend. This.....this is just so unfair 😭😭
Thank you for also pointing out, how much love and hope there is in the book! I love this book. Just finished a second time and I know I will read it again. It always breaks my heart, but in a way that's the point. But for me it's also so much about Support, friendship and love....
What an amazing book despite all the sadness and trauma . I still think about the caracters especially Jude , days after i finished the book :D
The most heart breaking thing for me was that Jude did the impression himself. I didn’t think I can handle this book and now I know!
I can't handle reading about SA of any kind but this book still intrigued me because of the hype. Thanks to you, I know now not to touch it with even a ten-foot pole. So, thank you!
Yes definitely sounds like it wouldn't be for you!!
Me crying along remembering the book 😥😥😥
Thank goodness I don’t have to read it myself!
I am reading this book and watching this book at the same time. So after reading a part I'll watch that part of the video so it's fun :)
i finished this book literally two days ago, what great timing omg
I had this on my shelf to read but it’s going to the charity shop after watching this video, I absolutely could not handle that 😫😫
Thanks for satisfying my curiosity :) Great job getting everything across and showing how emotional it gets. Gonna sub. You're great.
I always thought I was curious about this, but I couldn't go past Part IV and I'm not even reading it, I'm just watching you talk. Def not for me, but glad you got to spend time with characters you love for this project :)
I read this book at the age of 12, and after these years I’m still traumatized about it. I’m not even exaggerating, I’m traumatized.
Thanks for the parts...I can watch the parts as I read.....Yayyyy!!!!
Perfect!
Thank you for this full spoiler story. I would never have the guts to read it. I think it would have messed me up if I had read it on my own.
I find it so interesting that people can read the same book and have such different opinions on it - and A Little Life is sooo polarizing! I read it and was very gripped by the book and thought the writing was quite beautiful, however I didn't find the characters' lives relatable at all; I wasn't saddened by the events, I was just sick to my stomach and angry. I'm no one to dictate that it is unrealistic that one's life can go through so many awful things, obviously, but it did seem like everything awful that could happen to Jude happened to him... At which point I just got desensitized...
I wish I saw this sooner cause I lowkey just made myself depressed. I had to stop reading when Jude was now on a wheel chair permanently, then just decided to search the ending and I can’t believe Willem dies first! And omg Jude commits!?
I know life isn’t always happy but I wasn’t prepared for that much terribly traumatic experiences…there should be more warning
I read this book in one day, that I think by the end I was just so desensitized to it, that I didn't even cry... should've maybe spread it out a bit more
I read A little life five years ago and I remember skipping some difficult to read parts, but after watching the first few minutes of your video, I kind of want to read it again. Especially when you talked about Andy and Harold. I liked those side characters a lot actually. But I am scared to try reading it again. 😬
I'm so sorry you had to go though this damn story again lol but thank you for taking the time to share te whole story with full spoilers, because I've always been curious about it but knew I could never read it. But good god, I almost cried just by watching you tell the things that happen, can't even imagine reading it by myself
I’ve been SO interested in finding out what happens in this book but I didn’t want to read it so very excited to watch this
Thank you for the spoiler.. I thought about reading it, I've read until page 50 something. Never thought the story would be that awful and depressing. Thank God I stumbled upon ur video first before finishing it. Listened to this, I already felt really really sad and depressed. I won't survive the book.
Again thank you so much!
Thank you Emma!!!! I WAS curious but didn’t want to cry. So thanks for crying for me. The story does sound beautiful but definitely not something I could read now.
Hope you’re feeling un-blue soon❤️
Chezuz. Thanks for this. I did not want to read a heart breaking book but I had to know what it was about! And now I'm over here crying 😅😅
I literally cried at this video ... thank god I didn’t read the book 😬
Thank you for this video. I just finished the book, I’ve never properly cried from reading before. But this story broke me. I haven’t been able to figure out how to process all my thought and feeling after reading. I needed someone to talk to about it, but no one I do talk to has read it.
But this video, so wonderfully done. It helped me move on. And you summed it up so perfect. One thing that really got to me that you didn’t mention was when Jude acts out at Harold and Julia, throws a plate against the wall and insults them. Hoping they will finally treat him ”the way he deserves”, hit him, yell at him, throw him out. But they just hold him, love him. And he finally lets Harold love him, and accepts it. 🥲
But then at the end, as told from Harolds perspective, I don’t know if I’ll ever recover.
Thanks again, will give you a sub and. You seem like a really lovely person and I look forward to hearing you do less heart wrenching content 😁
i feel like whoever reads this book will never be the same after finishing it.
Thank you for reading this for me and telling me about it because I think this was more entertaining than reading it. AND SHORTER!
It’s kinda funny actually, now that I know what happens in the book, I want to read it even more.
Thank you for this I was curious but didn't want to put myself through 800 pages of trauma
Do I want spoilers? No. Will I read the book? Also no.... fuck
Well, I knew I didn't want to read this book but I didn't quite understand how BADLY I DID NOT WANT TO READ THIS BOOK. The sheer, unapologetic ableism... I have... no words.
Thank you Emma, genuinely, because I probably could have been persuaded to read this before watching this video but there is no way I'd read it now. Jesus. I was sitting here, as a woman who uses a wheelchair, thinking... 'this is ableist, it must be, am I the only one seeing this?!' And googled and other people have definitely found it ableist so I feel validated 🤣 I appreciate what you find so hopeful about it though, please do not think I'm criticising you personally! Hope you have a good weekend, and that you are on the way to recovering from this. 💖
Out of interest, which parts are ableist? Obviously there are portrayals of an incredibly ableist and terrible character, as well as a traumatised main character who experiences internalised ableism, and so I wouldn’t recommend reading it for anyone who would find that too unpleasant to read, but is the book itself ableist for including these elements?
@@DrinkingByMyShelf Thank you for responding to my comment.
I have been sitting here for like an hour trying to figure out how to phrase the answers to your questions. I found this article, which doesn't exactly pinpoint my thoughts but I felt the "narrative prosthesis" idea was quite poignant: (onbeing.org/blog/marian-ryan-im-a-disabled-woman-who-wants-to-see-more-literary-characters-like-me/). My thoughts are somewhere between "should non disabled authors really be writing about internalised ableism of a disabled character?" to somewhere around profiting off this critique of internalised ableism... and then I messaged a friend and she was like, "it's me before you vibes pal, that's what it is", which I agreed with (she has read the book and agrees it's ableist) but again didn't really answer your question... but then I'm thinking "the ending is ableist in itself!"... so my brain is clearly not having an easy time explaining it to you... and then I realised it's 5pm on a Friday night, maybe the Pisces people-pleaser in me doesn't in fact need to be educating about ableism right now... xD but I appreciate your interest, and I'm sorry I can't seem to form the words, really - hope that gave you some ideas! Have a great night, Emma :)
@@DrinkingByMyShelf also, A+ for the thumbnail, did enjoy what you did there!
Of course, it’s not your role to have to educate me!! Thank you for trying, I will read up on it!
@@DrinkingByMyShelf hi jumping on this comment to talk more about the ableism in this book. I have chronic pain and a self-harm problem and I did not feel “seen” in this book, I felt caricatured. It’s clear that Yanigihara wrote this book for ableds - it has a super “aren’t you glad you aren’t disabled” vibe. Strong dislike.
There are plenty threads and articles out there about how ableist it is but the thing that bothered me most about this book were the portrayals of Willem’s brother, Harold’s first son, and Caleb’s parents - all dead disabled people. Willem, Harold, and Caleb all have (again, dead) “starter disableds” which are basically props to show their character. For Willem and Harold, it shows they’re “one of the good ones” and for Caleb it shows he’s “evil” (there’s no in between - there’s no room for people to be casually ableist and how that’s also bad). Abled people can read Caleb’s extreme ableism and go “well I’m not like that so I don’t have to examine my abled bodied privilege.” There are so many ways in which ableism is baked into society and it absolutely should be examined and dismantled. This book basically ignores all of that.
Willem especially has the vibe of those “tearjerker” videos of abled teens asking disabled students to prom. Isn’t Willem such a good person for loving “someone like Jude?” It just perpetuates the myth that disabled people are “hard to love” and are “burdens.” This is why it’s “okay” for Willem to cheat in his relationship with Jude. He’s already “given up” so much by being in a relationship with a disabled person so who could blame him for having sex with abled people?
I was so mad about this book when I read it I literally threw it across the room when I finished it. The fact that we all *know* that Jude will kill himself throughout the entire book is also just super gross. Disabled lives are valid and this book just sees disability as a tragedy. This book also shows Willem’s place in Jude’s life to be Jude’s main reason to live, and when he’s gone, Jude has nothing to live for. Malcolm is also gone and JB is kind of gone too because he’s done the extremely offensive impression of Jude. The fact that Jude has a career and a loving adopted family is disregarded. Jude and his internalized ableism is a mirror for a lot of the abled population that kind of thinks “if only disabled people didn’t see themselves as broken people. They’re beautiful in their own way.” Plenty of disabled people know their worth and have to advocate daily for basic human rights. #DisabledAndCute is a hashtag created by a disabled woman wanting to show off that disabled people are beautiful full stop not “beautiful in their own way.” However when disabled people do anything (especially online) that’s just living their life or saying something self-affirming, they get tons of abuse, often by the same abled people I just mentioned.
I could go on but I just don’t have the spoons right now.
We’re all allowed to have problematic faves, but it’s important to know their flaws! 🥰❤️
I saved this to my watch later for when I finally read the book just to see your reactions. Finally finished and need to see you talk about it to work through my own emotions 😂 I think Andy is really underrated as a character, the first time I cried was when Andy cried at the adoption news!
Oooh yes that's such a powerful moment!
I really wanted to read it but it too long 😭 THANK YOU FOR FILLING MY DESIRE 🙌🏻