Anger is fear, frustration or hurt. It can be a combination of any of them too. Fear is the ego's reaction to losing control. The only thing we can actually control is ourselves. What others do becomes their karma. How we react becomes ours. Taking a step away allows those emotions to flow through without projecting them onto others & causing more damage. I've had to work on controlling my temper too. Much love to all. ❤
Just listening to your voice is calming for my mind and body. Then replaying the message a second or third time better enables me to receive it. Sincere thanks for helping me through challenging times.
This helps me: The acronym HALT stands for "hungry, angry, lonely, tired". It's a tool used to help people remember to address their needs early on and can be used for self-awareness and self-care.
For some years I am getting easy furious towards my children, I get so easily triggerd, I have been searching for so many 'solutions' to be peaceful in triggering situations because it hurts me to hurt them, I'm definitely gonna try this technique, I love it already now !!
I wonder if one of your parents re- acted like that. And now you re- act the same. If so you can walk yourself through you memory of this and plan how you would like to change this. It worked for me, to re- act differently than my parents did. I wanted to treat my kids more respectful
The challenge or difficulty that I have with anger is of a different kind in the sense that I very rarely allow myself to vocalize my anger and instead seethe internally -- but what happens then is that I have trouble releasing the anger because I don't feel as if I have an outlet.
What seems to help me with similar scenarios is really intense exercise, such as, a really brisk walk, weight training, intense dancing, and similar activities. I understand what it is like to be in a situation where you can't release such stress in the form of such anger. Kudos to you for attempting to find a solution that works well for you. Cheers!
We definitely need some time to destress and it can look like meditation, alone time, anywhere you can sneak in some peace and quiet. Infuse that anger with love and you will be able to tell anybody anything that needs to be said calmly, compassionately and yet firmly
I AM SOOO VERY GRATEFUL and HAPPY that it is TRULY impossible for me to see myself in that old self of anger. ETERNAL GRATITUDE, BELOVED for this video demonstrating to me how far I HAVE COME BACK TO ME.....Home to the ONENESS....to ALL THAT IS...I AM 🙏🏽💚😇
Another brilliantly original and sensitively vocalised video Todd. Kudos. As a second generation Irishman from one of London's toughest neighbourhoods, I obviously have no idea what it's like to lose my temper (!). But I now have the tools to react soulfully the next time I feel like ripping out my enemy's heart and eating it raw in front of their dying face. You may just have saved me some serious jail time..... 😁
I feel that by going through this meditation, visualizing how you want the outcome of the next situation to go. It's actually setting the intention subconsciously of not reacting, but taking the split second & catching oneself to analyze the trigger situation & then responding instead of reacting. Love this method! Learned it in health coaching! 🙏❤
This is really powerful and effective. It is basically the process of Simulation which is really the basis for Conscious Creation at ALL LEVELS. Brilliant, thank you Todd!
Thank you so much. This is the most useful piece of information and tool I have ever heard on this subject. I wondered why even after so many years of méditation this habitual reaction was still very much present in my life. It was just feeding itself. 🙏 I am putting this in practice from today. Thank you thank you thank you 🙏🙏🙏
I love this Todd. I have never thought of visualizing and preparing in this way. I have been finding myself getting angry reading bumper stickers lately, so I am going to work on this. I appreciate your wisdom.
There is a famous Indian mystic named gurdjeff. His father died when he was very young, he was very poor. His father said to him, I leave you one thing, if any one says anything to you that arises anger in you thank them and then say my father said pls let me come back to you in 24 hours and then we can go from there. Most anger subsides in 24 hours :) it’s just in the moment we react and have not learned how to respond in a healthy way. So walk away in silence and then in 24 hours if your still boiling within, then go from there 🙏
Thank you for your energy/clarity in relaying this extremely important insight, and your genuineness, I am truly grateful. I prefer to watch someone speak directly about such imperative content, than hide behind too much loud distracting music and AI generated images/video. Thank you.
Many thanks Todd for sharing the anger prevention meditation. I like the sled illustration of how we can rewire and create new, positive and peaceful scenarios to counter future anger triggers with regular practice. When I have mastered this technique, I will let you know😊❤
This can be used for those of us who are in recovery, as well. Triggers are a real threat to sobriety and sometimes those triggers come at us out of nowhere. This meditation can help us to be able to recognize the trigger before it takes control. People in recovery know that relapse happens in the mind, sometimes a while before we pick up and use. If we can train ourselves through meditation to be ready for them then we are so much better equipped to handle them when they inevitably come. Thank you, Todd, for all of your videos with invaluable information for every person on this planet.
Very helpful Video. Thanks so much for sharing. Experiencing a lot of rage out of disappointment this video maybe helps me to Change and deal wiser with the things that trigger me.
I blow up at people when I am hurting or in a vulnerable space/mood..and someone does something that I perceive as disrespectful, uncaring, rude...I call it getting triggered...It only happens, meaning I only blow up and react and retaliate...when I am in a space of pain, sadness, grieving, neediness...and someone does something...I don't react like a crazy person when I am calm and happy...so it's never the same place, person, situation... but I think this will work...I will try it...Thanks Todd...❤
I just stared at someone, who verbally insulted me, and did not react. It took all the air out of her balloon. Felt sad that she thought she could bully and insult me. She is really hurting herself
Do you believe that humans have slowly repressed this trait? When we were required to live by our wits, everything was muscle memory. Through the technological advancement of our society, people have become less able to react accordingly to situations which require mental, emotional and physical acuity. We're dehumanizing our nature which is why I see issues like mental health, disease and individuals becoming intolerant to foods being so prevalent today.
Very true I used to get very trigger from my ex- husband I divorced seven years ago. But because of my meditation practice I do everyday, I no longer react the way I used to.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge regarding this matter. It’s very much appreciated and helpful. I will be sharing this video for sure. Question: Is there any part of anger issues that are genetically linked or is it more of a learned behavior? The reason I ask is because my ex’s anger was intensely explosive and my 3 boys display the same type of behavior when angered. My 2 girls manage their anger really well. All five kids had the same exposure to their father’s outbursts, which were modeled for them, which makes me curious as to why.
Based upon both my personal development relevant to my lifetime of experiences, as well as, what I have learned from therapy and research, it is usually a variable combination of learned behaviour created from personal experiences plus general enculturation combined with innate responsiveness based upon genetics. Your sons received more genetic predispositions toward anger responsiveness from their father, whereas, your daughters received more from you. Additionally, being males, having witnessed their father's anger, they more easily related to his behaviour, and as a result, learned to respond and behave in similar ways to him. Even though I grew to hate my father for his angry and violent abusive behaviour toward both me and my mother, it took many years of therapy to unlearn automatic responses I picked up from him. A part of him "lived" inside of my mind, so to speak. It was necessary to essentially perform a slow motion exorcism via therapy in order to rid myself of his worst tendencies over a long period of time. I hope that this makes sense for you.
@@resistdisinformation9931 thank you so much for taking time to post your thoughts, personal experience and opinions. What you have said here makes perfect sense. I wish my boys would get counseling and perhaps they will at some point in time. I have such great hope for them. I know they hate that characteristic about themselves as they so much hated the same characteristic their dad displayed regarding his anger. They are good people and I’m surprised that they’ve faired as well as they have considering the trauma they were exposed to growing up. I have to take accountability for staying with their dad as long as I did but I also realize that I was unhealed from my own childhood trauma. I’m just grateful we’re all doing as well as we are. Thanks again for sharing your insights. I greatly appreciate you! 🥰
We have natural tendencies, but our unique experiences, as well as our personal efforts, have a much greater impact on who we become. No two siblings ever have the same parents because every year parents are growing and changing
Iam.upset after I overeat especially if i eat all by my self.i remember no feeling when I was skinny.iam trying to see a dieten and a nutritionist for my health..i think I need a spiritual awakening meaning vacation
Great technique! I have a doubt though. Can people with aphantasia (no mind’s eye) be successful with this technique? It’s impossible to visualize, but I can put myself into the feeling and conversation.
I would use the meditation technique to visualize those triggers. Make sure you settle into your meditation at a calm place and are in a calm mental place
Hi and thank you. My problem is that my anger just pops out suddenly, I am as surprised as anyone around. It's as if I have seething rage inside me that I mostly keep covered but I have no control over it. I am grateful that I've never had children because although I don't have rage attacks very often, I have no control over their appearances
That is very common and it's incredibly wonderful that you have become aware of some of those unconscious thoughts. The more we practice mindfulness and being present, the less we can get carried away by our emotions.
Anger is fear, frustration or hurt. It can be a combination of any of them too. Fear is the ego's reaction to losing control. The only thing we can actually control is ourselves.
What others do becomes their karma. How we react becomes ours.
Taking a step away allows those emotions to flow through without projecting them onto others & causing more damage.
I've had to work on controlling my temper too. Much love to all. ❤
Does it work with fear too? My issue actually is more fear than anger, but that can change also...
It happens when people cross your boundaries.🤔
my biggest thing in life is anger and jealousy. They usually go together. I’m really doing my best to process the anger because it’s all subconscious.
You are awesome already so there is no need to be jealous of anyone else.
True.Recently I lost my temper,there was no sign and it just broke loose.After this incidence,I decided never to lose my temper again.
Thank you for pointing it out that losing temper is a human experience so I need not feel guilty about it but only need to learn wiser.
I feel the same way I dont know why I get upset sometimes but I overreact and alienate people
@@marychapman3486 precisely.
Just listening to your voice is calming for my mind and body. Then replaying the message a second or third time better enables me to receive it. Sincere thanks for helping me through challenging times.
This helps me:
The acronym HALT stands for "hungry, angry, lonely, tired". It's a tool used to help people remember to address their needs early on and can be used for self-awareness and self-care.
For some years I am getting easy furious towards my children, I get so easily triggerd, I have been searching for so many 'solutions' to be peaceful in triggering situations because it hurts me to hurt them, I'm definitely gonna try this technique, I love it already now !!
I wonder if one of your parents re- acted like that. And now you re- act the same. If so you can walk yourself through you memory of this and plan how you would like to change this. It worked for me, to re- act differently than my parents did. I wanted to treat my kids more respectful
The challenge or difficulty that I have with anger is of a different kind in the sense that I very rarely allow myself to vocalize my anger and instead seethe internally -- but what happens then is that I have trouble releasing the anger because I don't feel as if I have an outlet.
What seems to help me with similar scenarios is really intense exercise, such as, a really brisk walk, weight training, intense dancing, and similar activities. I understand what it is like to be in a situation where you can't release such stress in the form of such anger. Kudos to you for attempting to find a solution that works well for you. Cheers!
We definitely need some time to destress and it can look like meditation, alone time, anywhere you can sneak in some peace and quiet. Infuse that anger with love and you will be able to tell anybody anything that needs to be said calmly, compassionately and yet firmly
I AM SOOO VERY GRATEFUL and HAPPY that it is TRULY impossible for me to see myself in that old self of anger. ETERNAL GRATITUDE, BELOVED for this video demonstrating to me how far I HAVE COME BACK TO ME.....Home to the ONENESS....to ALL THAT IS...I AM 🙏🏽💚😇
Another brilliantly original and sensitively vocalised video Todd. Kudos. As a second generation Irishman from one of London's toughest neighbourhoods, I obviously have no idea what it's like to lose my temper (!). But I now have the tools to react soulfully the next time I feel like ripping out my enemy's heart and eating it raw in front of their dying face. You may just have saved me some serious jail time..... 😁
At last found something that makes utter sense ,thankyou
Brilliant, thank you
Thank you. Very insightful. Helping me to process and work towards an unshakeable peace...
“When my fist clenches crack it open before I use it and lose my cool.”
-The Who
Thank You Todd. Just what I needed to remember.
Absolutely brilliant! Thank you so much!
This is a true Pearl of Wisdom. Thank you!
I feel that by going through this meditation, visualizing how you want the outcome of the next situation to go. It's actually setting the intention subconsciously of not reacting, but taking the split second & catching oneself to analyze the trigger situation & then responding instead of reacting. Love this method! Learned it in health coaching! 🙏❤
thanks!
This is really powerful and effective. It is basically the process of Simulation which is really the basis for Conscious Creation at ALL LEVELS. Brilliant, thank you Todd!
Thank you so much. This is the most useful piece of information and tool I have ever heard on this subject. I wondered why even after so many years of méditation this habitual reaction was still very much present in my life. It was just feeding itself. 🙏 I am putting this in practice from today. Thank you thank you thank you 🙏🙏🙏
I love this Todd. I have never thought of visualizing and preparing in this way. I have been finding myself getting angry reading bumper stickers lately, so I am going to work on this. I appreciate your wisdom.
Bravo, dude...excellent advice.
There is a famous Indian mystic named gurdjeff. His father died when he was very young, he was very poor. His father said to him, I leave you one thing, if any one says anything to you that arises anger in you thank them and then say my father said pls let me come back to you in 24 hours and then we can go from there. Most anger subsides in 24 hours :) it’s just in the moment we react and have not learned how to respond in a healthy way. So walk away in silence and then in 24 hours if your still boiling within, then go from there 🙏
Thank you Todd… ❤ you truly are having a positive impact on this world. Your message is so needed. By me for sure ❤
Thank you for your energy/clarity in relaying this extremely important insight, and your genuineness, I am truly grateful. I prefer to watch someone speak directly about such imperative content, than hide behind too much loud distracting music and AI generated images/video. Thank you.
Love your Snow Sledding Method! Very helpful. Thank you!! 💖🙏
I think this is gonna be great for Ptsd episodes
This is soo good! Presented very well. Thank you!
Many thanks Todd for sharing the anger prevention meditation. I like the sled illustration of how we can rewire and create new, positive and peaceful scenarios to counter future anger triggers with regular practice. When I have mastered this technique, I will let you know😊❤
Thank you for this wisdom, Todd.
This really works. Amazing
You explain so simply ........ thank you
This can be used for those of us who are in recovery, as well. Triggers are a real threat to sobriety and sometimes those triggers come at us out of nowhere. This meditation can help us to be able to recognize the trigger before it takes control. People in recovery know that relapse happens in the mind, sometimes a while before we pick up and use. If we can train ourselves through meditation to be ready for them then we are so much better equipped to handle them when they inevitably come. Thank you, Todd, for all of your videos with invaluable information for every person on this planet.
Thanks for the tip🤗
Thanks for sharing man 🙏 ...peace bro
Great method, thanks!! Just becoming aware of the usual groove makes a difference.
You are the best gift of my day thank you so much ❤
I cover hurt with anger. I'm working on changing this
Very helpful Video. Thanks so much for sharing. Experiencing a lot of rage out of disappointment this video maybe helps me to Change and deal wiser with the things that trigger me.
Thankyou new year new habits 🙏🏻
I blow up at people when I am hurting or in a vulnerable space/mood..and someone does something that I perceive as disrespectful, uncaring, rude...I call it getting triggered...It only happens, meaning I only blow up and react and retaliate...when I am in a space of pain, sadness, grieving, neediness...and someone does something...I don't react like a crazy person when I am calm and happy...so it's never the same place, person, situation... but I think this will work...I will try it...Thanks Todd...❤
Thank you so much for sharing. Will start putting this into practice.
Thank you Todd. I'm off to make some new sled tracks.
Thanks , I have so many built in anger issues . This is great and will practice it
Thanks for your video, Todd!
I just stared at someone, who verbally insulted me, and did not react. It took all the air out of her balloon. Felt sad that she thought she could bully and insult me. She is really hurting herself
Deeper longer video on this please rage anger is one of my hardest emotions to control/remove
That's a great topic. Will do it
Thanks!
thank you man, this will be added to my daily practice
Many thanks.
Do you believe that humans have slowly repressed this trait? When we were required to live by our wits, everything was muscle memory. Through the technological advancement of our society, people have become less able to react accordingly to situations which require mental, emotional and physical acuity. We're dehumanizing our nature which is why I see issues like mental health, disease and individuals becoming intolerant to foods being so prevalent today.
Very true I used to get very trigger from my ex- husband
I divorced seven years ago. But because of my meditation practice I do everyday, I no longer react the way I used to.
What meditation practice did u start with? I get triggered so easy with the man in/out of my ue & so want to stop!!
PS...I think you are awesome...I like how you thoughtfully, slowly, calmly express your thoughts...
This is so helpful. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing that practice. It would be great if you could create and share a guided meditation taking us through the practice you describe.
Great suggestion!
Another great video. Thanks Todd🙏
❤️❤️thank you! This is life changing
Great words ❤ love from Brazil
This is so helpful. Thank you kind sir... :)
Thank you for sharing your knowledge regarding this matter. It’s very much appreciated and helpful. I will be sharing this video for sure.
Question: Is there any part of anger issues that are genetically linked or is it more of a learned behavior?
The reason I ask is because my ex’s anger was intensely explosive and my 3 boys display the same type of behavior when angered. My 2 girls manage their anger really well. All five kids had the same exposure to their father’s outbursts, which were modeled for them, which makes me curious as to why.
Based upon both my personal development relevant to my lifetime of experiences, as well as, what I have learned from therapy and research, it is usually a variable combination of learned behaviour created from personal experiences plus general enculturation combined with innate responsiveness based upon genetics.
Your sons received more genetic predispositions toward anger responsiveness from their father, whereas, your daughters received more from you. Additionally, being males, having witnessed their father's anger, they more easily related to his behaviour, and as a result, learned to respond and behave in similar ways to him.
Even though I grew to hate my father for his angry and violent abusive behaviour toward both me and my mother, it took many years of therapy to unlearn automatic responses I picked up from him. A part of him "lived" inside of my mind, so to speak. It was necessary to essentially perform a slow motion exorcism via therapy in order to rid myself of his worst tendencies over a long period of time.
I hope that this makes sense for you.
@@resistdisinformation9931 thank you so much for taking time to post your thoughts, personal experience and opinions. What you have said here makes perfect sense. I wish my boys would get counseling and perhaps they will at some point in time. I have such great hope for them. I know they hate that characteristic about themselves as they so much hated the same characteristic their dad displayed regarding his anger. They are good people and I’m surprised that they’ve faired as well as they have considering the trauma they were exposed to growing up. I have to take accountability for staying with their dad as long as I did but I also realize that I was unhealed from my own childhood trauma. I’m just grateful we’re all doing as well as we are. Thanks again for sharing your insights. I greatly appreciate you! 🥰
We have natural tendencies, but our unique experiences, as well as our personal efforts, have a much greater impact on who we become. No two siblings ever have the same parents because every year parents are growing and changing
@@ToddPerelmuter that’s so true and makes perfect sense. Thank you!
Awesome
Just purchased your book Todd
Thank you so much. Can't wait to hear what you think of it in an Amazon review
Thanks for this! 😍
Iam.upset after I overeat especially if i eat all by my self.i remember no feeling when I was skinny.iam trying to see a dieten and a nutritionist for my health..i think I need a spiritual awakening meaning vacation
Great technique! I have a doubt though. Can people with aphantasia (no mind’s eye) be successful with this technique? It’s impossible to visualize, but I can put myself into the feeling and conversation.
Yes! I have that too :)
Yes! I have aphantasia too. So happy that we can try this technique as well
Then again, what is the place for shadow work on triggers if I can just change my neurological pathways on anything that triggers me?
I would use the meditation technique to visualize those triggers. Make sure you settle into your meditation at a calm place and are in a calm mental place
❤❤❤
Hi and thank you.
My problem is that my anger just pops out suddenly, I am as surprised as anyone around.
It's as if I have seething rage inside me that I mostly keep covered but I have no control over it. I am grateful that I've never had children because although I don't have rage attacks very often, I have no control over their appearances
That is very common and it's incredibly wonderful that you have become aware of some of those unconscious thoughts. The more we practice mindfulness and being present, the less we can get carried away by our emotions.
🙏🏽
🧡🧡🧡🙏🏻
❣👀
Thanks!