Real Crusade Hours - Empire Total War

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  • Опубліковано 24 лип 2020
  • Check out my super cool merch: freshmerch.fm/koifish
    Super cool Koifish Patreon: / therealkoifish
    Deep conversation Discord: / discord
    REAL CRUSADE HOURS have begun in Empire Total War! Join me, Koifish, as I conquer my way through the Mediterranean as the Knights of Saint John, everyone favorite exiled holy order! Using actual mounted knights, the finest of Italian sailors and the power of JESUS!
    Total War: Empire is one of my all time favorite games! The 1700's setting, the grand scale of the battles, the line battles, the historical accuracy, and yes, even the broken naval warfare!
    So join me, as I play Empire Total War with the mod Minor Factions Revenge, that unlocks all minor factions and makes them playable! And yes, even the Knights of Saint John!
    Video Title: Real Crusade Hours - Empire Total War
    Previous Video: Real Pirate Hours - Empire Total War
  • Ігри

КОМЕНТАРІ • 256

  • @Koifish
    @Koifish  4 роки тому +180

    *KNIGHTS OF SAINT-JONATHAN*
    Hello HELLO! Sorry for the long wait between the daily content! Working on a super cool secret project that you will all see in a few weeks! >:D
    Make sure to check out the links for the *MERCH* and Patreon and Discord in the description above! VERY COOL!

  • @Nick-cu1mg
    @Nick-cu1mg 4 роки тому +391

    “Are you waving the white flag? I’m colorblind!” -koifish 2020

  • @conradshtock3039
    @conradshtock3039 4 роки тому +285

    First naval battle has Koifish laughing like a Frenchman.

  • @DillonP530
    @DillonP530 4 роки тому +239

    “Who would win? a group of well trained redcoats, or hobos with guns?” Revolutionary war in a nutshell

    • @nath9091
      @nath9091 4 роки тому +22

      While is probably a joke to fight the misconception the Continental Army fought the majority of the land war for the US not some random militia. The entire point of Valley Forge was that it trained the Continental Army to be competitive in field line battles with European armies such as the British. Without this the US would not have won the war.

    • @jordinagel1184
      @jordinagel1184 3 роки тому +15

      @@nath9091 they had that Prussian advisor for +5% Discipline

    • @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489
      @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489 3 роки тому

      @@jordinagel1184 did they actually have a Prussian advisor?

    • @jordinagel1184
      @jordinagel1184 3 роки тому +6

      @@vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489 they did. At one point, a man who called himself Baron Friedrich von Steuben arrived in Washington’s camp, offering his services. Whether Washington was aware of Prussia’s military might (which is not unlikely, given he used to be a high-ranking officer in the British colonial army as well), or simply was glad to have some help, he accepted. Although it would later be revealed that Steuben had lied about his aristocratic origins, the discipline he would bring to the revolutionary army was very real.

    • @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489
      @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489 3 роки тому

      @@jordinagel1184 huh, you learn something new everyday

  • @Olafr_Warrior
    @Olafr_Warrior 4 роки тому +222

    I knew this was a fictitious version of Europe when you traded guns to the Danes. Everyone knows that Denmark doesn't exist.

  • @destroyerinazuma96
    @destroyerinazuma96 2 роки тому +11

    Fun fact: the Order of St John technically still exists. They have a beautiful headquarters building in England.

  • @jodofe4879
    @jodofe4879 4 роки тому +56

    "We cast the first stone, therefore we are free from sin."
    I don't think that is how it was meant to be interpreted...

  • @YunsAvatar
    @YunsAvatar 4 роки тому +124

    Bad news: It's Saturday and I needed to go into the office to work for a while.
    Good news: Koifish posts a video, so I can watch while I work.

  • @radogost1536
    @radogost1536 4 роки тому +46

    3:00 "pike and shot, more like GET SHOT"

  • @sheenydonut
    @sheenydonut 4 роки тому +135

    This is probably the most photogenic total war out there. They also took a big risk with the global style campaign. It has its limitation with the ai as all total war do, but it does alright. The only ai factions that seem to do alright on the global scale are Spain, the UK and sometimes India.

    • @SuperPope69
      @SuperPope69 4 роки тому +6

      I've had games where ai Westfalia conquered all of western Europe. Minor factions Revenge mod opens the game up for smaller ai factions

    • @sheenydonut
      @sheenydonut 4 роки тому +4

      @@SuperPope69 Yea I played it as the Knights of Malta. The UK always declared war on me after expanding into Northern Africa. Also, Prussia still has a hard-on for Tunisia.

    • @hellaspatriot2733
      @hellaspatriot2733 4 роки тому +6

      Bruh, India took over the whole Ottoman Empire and half of Russia in one campaign.

    • @CheemsofRegret
      @CheemsofRegret 4 роки тому +10

      Bruh India invaded me when I was playing Sweden.

    • @ForeverDoubting
      @ForeverDoubting 3 роки тому +6

      Modded, it really shines. But even vanilla is pretty nice. But yeah, UK and Spain always do really well because trade is so incredibly profitable in Empire, UK will be blockading France from the start, and both of them start with a bunch of trade nodes captured iirc. Spain also has Galleons from the start which are essentially fourth rates which gives it a huge boost in early naval battles as well. While the rest of the nations are stuck with recruiting frigates.

  • @Cleruian
    @Cleruian 4 роки тому +55

    5:30: "Are you waving the white flag? I'M COLORBLIND!" XD

    • @jameshugo5891
      @jameshugo5891 4 роки тому

      pretty sure that has an influence on why its still white XD

    • @LuanMower55
      @LuanMower55 4 роки тому

      Whats a white flag?

  • @devingunnels3251
    @devingunnels3251 4 роки тому +19

    The "Conga Line" formation is devastatingly effective, I hear.

  • @HighAdmiral
    @HighAdmiral 4 роки тому +220

    "We fought the Ottomans in 1522, AND WE CAN FIGHT THEM AGAIN!"
    -Koifish, who got a like for this sentence.

    • @kalten1380
      @kalten1380 4 роки тому +4

      Fitting considering the news about Hagia Sophia a bit ago

    • @jordinagel1184
      @jordinagel1184 3 роки тому +2

      @@kalten1380 good guy Erdogan, amirite?

    • @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489
      @vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489 3 роки тому +5

      @@jordinagel1184 Guy should have kept it as a Museum in that case it was fair to both Christians and Muslims and now they're turning into a full on Caliphate.

    • @debarpandutta6722
      @debarpandutta6722 2 роки тому

      @@kalten1380 TF is happening here three bots or Is reality breaking

  • @SpaceKnight105
    @SpaceKnight105 3 роки тому +6

    the actual tourist attractions are
    -churches and temples of the knights of Malta
    -2 old prehistoric and Neolithic temples
    -and 2 famous beach resorts!!!!
    Blue lagoon
    and Golden bay

  • @hlb99
    @hlb99 4 роки тому +5

    When he said: "Simo is gone, Simo is no more, noooo!" I laughed so fucking hard, nice job Koifish with this video. hahaha

  • @drice008
    @drice008 4 роки тому +15

    "Who would win: well disciplined troops from the british army, or hobos with guns?" Sounds a lot like the American revolution

  • @turtlesog5570
    @turtlesog5570 4 роки тому +17

    I'm a simply man. I see crusade - i click

  • @adrianh.3102
    @adrianh.3102 3 роки тому +2

    The Ottoman Organ gun is one of the most terrifying units in Empire. Played Darthmod against them, a calvary force of 120 was reduced to 15 after just two volleys.

  • @petey5784
    @petey5784 4 роки тому +28

    you are talking mad smack for someone inside crusader range

  • @vexn3699
    @vexn3699 4 роки тому +3

    "Crusades are confusing. I was gonna take out the saracens, but then I killed the Pope"
    Goddammit I'm crying

  • @ihavearequest1
    @ihavearequest1 4 роки тому +13

    >we're taking these boys on a night boat to cairo
    cheeky reference

  • @Shaz337
    @Shaz337 4 роки тому +8

    18:57 well i think the Americans already decided who would win in that one

  • @AlexanderCCXXII
    @AlexanderCCXXII 3 роки тому +1

    This as the game of my lost youth and the knights were my favorite Faction by far, glad to see someone appreciating them

  • @somethingundeniable5126
    @somethingundeniable5126 4 роки тому +2

    Koifish is just the lost cousin of isorrowproductions

  • @wesleysnyder349
    @wesleysnyder349 4 роки тому +1

    Your cackle really comes in great during the constant naval explosions.

  • @thesatanicbat273
    @thesatanicbat273 4 роки тому +13

    Oh nice! Empire Total War! I was just playing this!

    • @YoloHunt
      @YoloHunt 4 роки тому +1

      Funny enough I was wondering if I could ever play the pirates and Templar’s after completing a Marthrada Confederacy run last night. Glad to see this.

    • @thesatanicbat273
      @thesatanicbat273 4 роки тому +1

      @@YoloHunt No way! I just started the Maratha guys, is this the next Koifish vid? Hindu Crusaders that conduct piracy?

    • @YoloHunt
      @YoloHunt 4 роки тому

      Boa The Bat Literally what I did lmao. Made my core regions grow before pirating the coasts and raking in so much money that I could buy technology from other countries.

  • @kyleheins
    @kyleheins 3 роки тому +4

    "Open season on Algerians!"
    Koifish 2020

  • @juancarlosdegoya2757
    @juancarlosdegoya2757 4 роки тому +5

    He's really enjoying this mod

  • @Palatonista
    @Palatonista 4 роки тому +7

    "Oh? Are you waving a white flag? to bad that i am COLOR BLIND"
    That made my day xDDDD

  • @buchan448
    @buchan448 3 роки тому +1

    "they might be broken but they can still be killed " quality hahaha subbed :)

  • @raimobin45
    @raimobin45 4 роки тому +1

    I love the grenadier march song used against everyone that you fought even the Brits!

  • @LazarusWilhelm
    @LazarusWilhelm 4 роки тому

    koifish just seems to get better and better

  • @connorperrin7088
    @connorperrin7088 4 роки тому +8

    Grandayy is literally crying that he didn't get mentioned in Koifish's video about playing as Malta

  • @hamtaroSUS
    @hamtaroSUS 4 роки тому +2

    Yay koifish videos

  • @TheGodEmperorOfMankind_
    @TheGodEmperorOfMankind_ 4 роки тому +2

    Britain be like: Congratulations, you're joining the empire

  • @hetzijzo5601
    @hetzijzo5601 4 роки тому

    Love the total empire videos

  • @fatbobby7552
    @fatbobby7552 2 роки тому

    everytime i see koifish im reminded to play badass games. love this dudes accent too.

  • @GentTX
    @GentTX 4 роки тому +2

    What I would give for an Empire 2 that has all the fixes the original game needed. Plus workshop support.

    • @paritoshd
      @paritoshd 4 роки тому

      ... Napoleon Total War?

    • @GentTX
      @GentTX 4 роки тому +1

      Paritosh Deshpande oh Napoleon was good, no question, but I loved having a world map in empire

  • @CzOcian
    @CzOcian 3 роки тому

    Beatiful history.

  • @HungryGoat96
    @HungryGoat96 4 роки тому

    the fucking music choice was elite af g

  • @elkohala157
    @elkohala157 4 роки тому +2

    Min 15:18 ´´Una Victoria Gloriosa´´ :D hahahaha

  • @BINGOS66625
    @BINGOS66625 3 роки тому +1

    Bruh i've never thought the day would come when Koifish played my country.

  • @thomasthetank9976
    @thomasthetank9976 3 роки тому +2

    Knights of st john is also known as the knights hospitaller.

  • @danielblom391
    @danielblom391 3 роки тому +1

    "Oh general, get stuck in there!" - Koifish, circa 2020

  • @Firedman1
    @Firedman1 3 роки тому

    I love his ascent XD

  • @LORDMEHMOODPASHA
    @LORDMEHMOODPASHA 2 роки тому

    21:59 Koifish "Have at Ye!!!"
    22:01 Ottomans: Tamam, eğer ısrar ediyorsan...

  • @Tymekew
    @Tymekew 4 роки тому

    Epic video, love empire total war

  • @hehmeh
    @hehmeh 4 роки тому

    sounds like you had alot of fun recording this one :)

  • @iTz_Plewtoe
    @iTz_Plewtoe 3 роки тому +1

    I laughed so hard at the Sweeney Todd part lol

  • @Swedishmafia101MemeCorporation
    @Swedishmafia101MemeCorporation 4 роки тому

    Beautiful!

  • @thewhitewolf278
    @thewhitewolf278 4 роки тому +2

    You sound like an IKEA employee trying to sell me a side table. So pretty clear!

  • @nobodynobodys3828
    @nobodynobodys3828 2 роки тому

    My man was singing Dixie, what a lad

  • @lukebainbridges1974
    @lukebainbridges1974 3 роки тому

    Even by Koifish standards this video is manic .... and I love it

  • @civilprotection5956
    @civilprotection5956 4 роки тому +5

    Koifish: We aRe ComPleTly BanKrUpT!
    Me: I didn’t know this was a greek playthrough!

  • @WombatOfDisaster
    @WombatOfDisaster 4 роки тому

    The Sea Shanty music my Dude

  • @imahuman6880
    @imahuman6880 4 роки тому

    This was funny and awesome.

  • @breninowen2427
    @breninowen2427 4 роки тому +2

    Nobody:
    Koifish every 5 seconds:
    HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA HEHEHEHEHEHE

  • @YunsAvatar
    @YunsAvatar 4 роки тому +3

    You should have kept going and taken over Mecca too.

  • @Donbasos14
    @Donbasos14 4 роки тому

    Is it me or is Koifish getting better and more funny?

  • @BufusTurbo92
    @BufusTurbo92 4 роки тому +1

    YOU WAVING THE WHITE FLAG? I'M COOOLOURBLIND

  • @HolyFurryFish1998
    @HolyFurryFish1998 4 роки тому +1

    Koifish scaling those walls Rainbow 6 Mogadishu style.

  • @natesiress1057
    @natesiress1057 4 роки тому +1

    180 Maltese Constables are asking the British if they've obtained a loicense to land there. The British, being good compliant fellows, are forced to admit that they haven't, and have sent off a runner to parliament to obtain one. They expect to receive an answer in the post within a month or two.

  • @guy431
    @guy431 4 роки тому +2

    Brilliant!
    Now more ;) Deus vult

  • @anubisd613
    @anubisd613 4 роки тому

    You sound very clear my lord

  • @goodbanter4427
    @goodbanter4427 4 роки тому

    Giving them carbines was truly DANEgerous

  • @willsadventures8418
    @willsadventures8418 4 роки тому

    Those brigands deserve a promotion

  • @zicamen5
    @zicamen5 4 роки тому

    thats gold

  • @RedGreekWolf
    @RedGreekWolf 4 роки тому

    In naval battle I am always more inclined to try and board enemy ships, either to then use them as my own, or sell them off as prizes.

  • @crusaderking2257
    @crusaderking2257 4 роки тому +1

    Oh is that me in the thumbnail

  • @daborinkid7279
    @daborinkid7279 4 роки тому +1

    make more empire videos, these are really good

  • @ulysssebouzid-greiner2580
    @ulysssebouzid-greiner2580 4 роки тому +1

    Lourd léger professionnel

  • @BSideWasTaken
    @BSideWasTaken 2 роки тому

    "Are you waving a white flag? I'M COLOURBLIND" made me laugh so hard I woke up everyone in my house.

  • @ilayohana3150
    @ilayohana3150 4 роки тому +1

    oh hey youre finally awake.
    i swear to god youtube didnt let me know you made any videos in the last month and half. thanks youtube!

  • @USBEN.
    @USBEN. 4 роки тому

    Funi boi is back .

  • @oni_smiles9066
    @oni_smiles9066 4 роки тому

    SHIT THEY GOT ASS GUNS! I can't breathe koifish

  • @fearjon
    @fearjon 4 роки тому

    BRIGANDS!

  • @Homeschoolsw6
    @Homeschoolsw6 3 роки тому

    21:00..." another place we can conquer "

  • @Filipin0gamer
    @Filipin0gamer 4 роки тому

    Officer Koifish what shall we do?
    Koi: CCCCCCHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEE

  • @helly9748
    @helly9748 4 роки тому

    Yay koifish

  • @stopit3869
    @stopit3869 4 роки тому

    Still haven't given up on waiting for your scandinavia ck2 series

  • @Peanutcat
    @Peanutcat 4 роки тому

    New microphone is great, it sounds the same but without the clipping of the old one.

  • @durktank5001
    @durktank5001 4 роки тому

    The guy sounds like discount kilian experience

  • @GnosticOrthodoxChurch
    @GnosticOrthodoxChurch 4 роки тому

    OOOOOOHHH THATS A WALLOP!

  • @ConnanTheCivilized
    @ConnanTheCivilized Місяць тому

    “Thomas Paine is a furry!” Given what I’ve read about some of the US Founding Fathers, that would not surprise me as much as it should.

  • @robertcurry389
    @robertcurry389 3 роки тому +1

    Maybe the real crusade was the friends we made along the way.

  • @madhusudanshrimali4499
    @madhusudanshrimali4499 3 роки тому +1

    8:19 😂🤣

  • @antekiler1
    @antekiler1 4 роки тому +2

    Best quote of 2020:
    "You have swords!?"
    "WE HAVE THE LORDS"

  • @byzantine2516
    @byzantine2516 4 роки тому +1

    Deus Vult!

  • @gee8648
    @gee8648 4 роки тому

    This Irish guy really gets into his battles, doesn't he?

  • @anthonygalat
    @anthonygalat Рік тому

    More total war!

  • @Phat_Swaggot
    @Phat_Swaggot 4 роки тому

    I wish custom battles let you have more than 6 Winged Hussars

  • @jigglypuffthejigg4952
    @jigglypuffthejigg4952 4 роки тому

    You have swords? Well we have the Lord's 😄!!!

  • @Red-bw5kl
    @Red-bw5kl 4 роки тому

    The algerians send their regards

  • @Lukastar1
    @Lukastar1 3 роки тому

    5:52 holy shit

  • @endo4137
    @endo4137 4 роки тому +2

    what mods are you using, koifish? Is it just the minor factions revenge mod?

  • @gamerx2234
    @gamerx2234 3 роки тому

    Good

  • @444coole444
    @444coole444 4 роки тому

    the dutch probaly needed them for their war with spain

  • @starlightrose21
    @starlightrose21 3 роки тому +1

    >Thomas Paine is a furry.
    Now that's not a hot take I ever thought I'd hear.

  • @walter942
    @walter942 4 роки тому

    Play as the Iroquois next! Conquer America for its native inhabitants!

  • @Daorg300
    @Daorg300 4 роки тому

    Remember me when you rule this wörld my swedish bröther