My Husband Left Me For Another Woman | Moving On From Heartbreak
Вставка
- Опубліковано 1 лип 2024
- Hi lovelies,
I know a lot of us have been through a painful breakup, maybe some of you are going through one now, or are still struggling with one or even contemplating one at the moment...I hope my story helps you, and lets you know that you're not alone, and maybe gives you some comfort in some way.
Makeup worn:
Mac honeylove lipstick
Dior backstage foundation 4W
Too Faced chocolate gold bronzer
Hourglass unlocked palette
Lancome monsieur big
Jumper: Lipsy
All about my brushes:
• My Fave Brushes | 2018
My go-to filming makeup tutorial:
• My go to filming makeu...
My Brow Routine:
• Quick, Easy, 1 product...
FAQs!!
My skin is normal with a very slightly oily t zone and early signs of aging like fine lines as well as some sun damage and REDNESS!
My Necklace:
I get sooooo many questions about it, I'm so sorry it's not a happy answer! Its actually 2 necklaces together, and both were gifts so I don't have much detail, here is everything my hubby can remember! The larger disc and the chain were from Azendi, it has a picture of the moon and reads "The same moon around the world" (which is something that meant a lot to us when we first met and he was travelling with work A LOT). The smaller discs were from www.notonthehighstreet.com and they have my daughter's fingerprints and name and date of birth and they were a present when she was born. They don't seem to be available anymore I'm sorry!!
My current good foundation shade matches are:
Fenty: 290
Dior: 040 honey beige
Lancome teint idole: 050 Beige Ambre
Estee Lauder: 3W2 Cashew
Huda Faux Filter: 340G Baklava
Mac Studio Fix: NC42
Contacts:
Instagram: charholdcroft84
Business Inquiries: charlotteholdcroft@outlook.com - Навчання та стиль
They treat you awful because it makes it easier for them to rationalise their behaviour....My husband of 10 yrs had a 6 month affair and he now regrets it deeply, he is very unhappy with her LOL...He has asked on 3 occasions for me to take him back...no way!
I'm so sorry lovely xx
Let that piece of shit rot in his misery
Good Luck.
Wow your a Strong Woman. AMEN. YOU go Girl🤗 Yeah don't take him back.
indecisive spinless boys
The reason he wrote that letter is to try to make himself feel better about the affair. He was trying to convince himself that it's your fault, not his. That's weak and pathetic, a cowards way. You're better off without someone like that in your life.
Yes you're probably right my lovely xx
@@CharlotteHoldcroft ❤️❤️❤️
I totally agree! Cheaters usually have the need to justify their actions to cope with their own behaviour. I wouldn't also be surprised if he had said these bad things to the other woman like most cheaters do to placate their mistresses.
Weak and pathetic indeed
@@christianraymond4745 what type of juj is this
You dodged a massive bullet. There is a 90% chance he will be unfaithful in his current relationship as well 🤷🏾♀️
Definitely xx
carliseelizabeth still hurts
You mean 100%
Carlise Brooks . Make that 100%. Of vows aren’t sacred once then taking them again doesn’t change the outcome.
Lovely video content! Sorry for the intrusion, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you researched - Millawdon Closeness Knowledge Trick (erm, check it on google should be there)? It is a smashing one of a kind guide for getting to know your partner and improve your relationship without the normal expense. Ive heard some great things about it and my BF at very last got amazing success with it.
I was told that man starts to hate EVERYTHING in his wife when he is with another woman at the same time.
Caroline Kero it’s very true ,just look at chris watts he may even kill you,he usually feel like you’re blocking his happiness,the best thing you could do as woman is leave,they always regret later
Caroline Kero that is 💯 on point ☝🏻
agree 100% from my own experience 😞
Nura Rich has never thought about it like that but so true, the past 2 years and throughout my pregnancy my husband has brought me down, emotionally abuse & sometimes physically.. just broke up two weeks ago after finding out he was messaging a teen on an app..
Could very well be...most of the time, most likely unfounded. It's to ease his guilt while romancing the new one...thinking she us wonderful. Then, once he marries the woman, he divorces her eventually.
It is an awful thing to go through. My wife left me for another man, she was seeing him whilst i was working trying to make the mortgage and bills and the whole village knew she was doing it. It broke my heart . looking back it was obvious. I moved away , i became very ill and my business took a hit. Now i am glad she did it as it has opened a brand new world that i would of never would consider. As the rules of the universe , never judge destiny but accept it as the universe is guiding you. I forgave her and let her go.
I'm so sorry lovely, good for you x
christopher evans sorry to hear that Chris! How are you all relationship, now? Did it get easier?
Strong man
What a beautiful comment
You will always experience hardships in this life and sometimes it could be for a long time so don’t ever turn your life in a bad road because of a hardship when others could be going through it and doing the same as you.
Married for 10 years. He left me for another woman, abruptly. Just left and never answered my phone calls again. It was cruel. This was 4 years ago. I'm remarried now. But the hurt from that betrayal is still with me, albeit lessened. It's crazy but sometimes I still cry about it. It was absolutely brutal.
Ooh my goodness I'm so sorry, what a coward. So happy you found someone xx
Im sorry. As a man I can say dudes who do this crap deserve pain and suffering.
I am really really sorry
sending love xxx
Bless you sweetheart,you deserve better,sending you lots of love and a big hug xxxx
I honestly believe that being betrayed by someone who you trust so completely will give you lifelong PTSD, people who cheat obviously don’t understand how much it can destroy a person or I don’t think they would allow it to happen, or if they do then they’re horrible people to start with... it changes the way you look at and see everyone, it steals your innocence in a way because you can never trust anyone the same way that you trusted the person who did that to you. Thank you for sharing your story, as painful as that time was for you, it helped you to get everything you needed out of life ❤️
Crystal Kalenze I would use the term ptsd lightly. It’s a serious condition. I believe it does affect us but ptsd is nothing to do with it.
Karina Guerra it’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I have been diagnosed with PTSD for several things that I’ve gone through in my life, it’s not dangerous to think that someone who betrays your trust so completely and blindsides you with this kind of information, would have some residual effects on a person, and to carry that pain and constant distrust is actually what PTSD is, of course there’s different degrees and levels of PTSD, would I compare it to what a soldier goes through going to fight in war, absolutely not, but would I compare it to being molested by a friend of your family when you’re a child, yes, to go through something that you initially thought you could trust the person completely and they could blindside you like this, and it’s different for everyone, what one person may be able to make peace with and move on from could haunt someone else for their entire life.
True, but some learn from it and recognize people come with all sorts of personalities and characters and no one can be trusted 100%, including ourselves.
Crystal Kalenze you are not alone. I’ve also been diagnosed with betrayal ptsd. Husband of 23 years left me for six months to have an affair, even proposed to the other woman while we were still married. I ended up failing a clinical rotation due to the stress of the affair and court trial. It was very traumatic and definitely left a massive scar.
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
once a cheater always a cheater you should thank the new woman for taking the baggage off your hands. take time for yourself and be free dam now is the beginning not the end 😃
I agree, ha ha ha, I'm sincerely grateful for her lack of morals every day lol xx
Kinda a generalized statement. Not always true.
Once you cross a line, especially a moral one, it’s so much easier to do it again and again. That’s why this once a cheater always a cheater statement is true.
@@techfolktale everyone is different and this statement is wildly over simplified. I know people that have cheated once and never done it again. Just because you cross a moral line once doesn't mean you feel good about it and okay with doing it again. That's such an immature and limited way of looking at something.
Once a liar, always a liar? And once a thief always a thief? NO! Some people can change and learn from bad choices and some cannot or will not.
To the men who have felt compelled to leave hateful comments I ask you, is this because this video triggers you because you are guilty of cheating? Or did someone hurt YOU? I welcome intelligent dialogue.
I hope you get some!! It's better than What i've got 😂😂
yeah, I was with someone 13 years. i found out she cheat 5 times,that i found out about..... but somehow i guess she convinced me it was my fault & she treated me like a king fior a while, till things got back to normal......once with my best freind, once with my hated total enemy..... some years later she began acting slightly different... little by little, this guy she referred to as complely repulsive & she often made fun of him to me, well somehow gradually over time, his name would come up to offten, to a point where I began to feel jeal;ous...... which she would assure me im just being an idiot & thertes nothing whatsoever to worry about, if I seen him Id understand hes no threat. - Eventually i saw him, he didnt look ugly to me, nor attractive, but she picked him apart making fun of the picture ..... time goes on,more arguemnet erupt,mostly over something to do with her speaking to him...., stared coming home later than normal from time to time, would randomly mention his name in conversation, too often...... this went on for Months, I Told her He doesnt see you as a Freind, He wants more, she assured me no hes just a freind & he doesnt stand a chancfe, till one day I guess she felt it was time to tell me in text " I think he wants to be more than freinds" .. .... From this point forward....the arguements & jealousy increased,to a very unhealthy level , The wedge between us widened because of him......... I at one point begged her to lets please try to work it out & just get things back to normal, Anyway..... fast forward a year, all thge while heavy arguemnts & drama & lots of hurt feelings,on my part, many many bottles of vodka sitting home alone till 4am crying basically night after night. I drankl vodka 7 days a week untill it started effecting the health so I stopped after 8 months of this behavior. She lead me on a long string for a long time,never quite fully cut communication fully. ..... After 2 years of being drug thru the mud, being spit on, kicked in the nuts repeatedly, laughed at, lied to threatened etc etc, I stood back up & dried my eyes and finally said thats it. Done. & closed all comminication, Moved far away & that was that. We were the closest of freinds that had done Everything there is to do together, and due to love...she tore that freindship up & burned it to the ground & poured gas on it & made positively sure that even with time there is no way to salvage the freindship. That was a long time ago. What I learned thru all of it is.... Love is temporary weather 6 months or 6 years or 20 years, it will end. So just enjoy it while its there & try to be happy with life & try to stay healthy.
Eurgh, my goodness I'm so so sorry my lovely that is just awful. Truly. I'm so glad you were so strong and walked away. Xx
well, thanx. ...We can only do with how we feel.
@@LegalShield3000 The only thing that triggers me is someone saying I can't have any of their bagels and cream cheese.
Or using the word irregardless.
It is true . Asking for answers from someone who has hurt you comes from a unhealthy emotional state. To ask these questions and hope for answers is to ask someone who broke you to fix you and that is so dangerous. Don't let anyone be an abuser and a comforter to you . Your mind and heart are worthy of more than that kind of destructive emotional connection ❤
That is so true and very wise advice xx
Everyone has there own hell and handles it different that makes us different .!!!
Ijeoma Lyons great 👍🏾 advice
That’s good advice!
I don't agree. Closure is important. So important.
I cried through your video because it reminded me of my situation which happened 18 yrs ago with a newborn! Cheater..... then I met another man who was absolutely wonderful to me and my child. Fast forward 10 yrs and he became a drunk and verbally abusive. I’m an educated smart woman. It happens to anyone. Super hard to live through it twice. I’m done with love and just love myself.... some people I believe just need to be happy with themselves and not need a man. That’s my journey at least :)
I'm so sorry lovely. I think some people can certainly be happy on their own as long as it's through choice xx
You're so beautiful ❤ kept up ❤ love
The woman my ex was unfaithful with phoned me a year later begging me to help her understand him. Let that be a warning to women who see married men.
I would have laughed at her and hung up on her. The nerve! 😂
LOL!! I remember the day my ex's new wife (whom we knew while married) told me she understood why I divorced him! And the reason was complicated (nothing to do with cheating). Shortly after she divorced him as well and we became best friends...
@@cindyp5132 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you are a true queen! Lol! Wow!
@@Pinesol605 Aww... Thank you!!💟 Although it's not a popular opinion... I feel like we can get so wrapped up in our anger towards the other woman, that we miss how much we actually have in common & whether they're a good person (really what matters). Once I let go of the anger we had a wonderful friendship for many years, she was truly like family to me. I was heartbroken when she died in a car accident but I still think of her daily. People come into our lives for a reason, but I didn't choose her so I didn't think she had anything to do with me. I was wrong and it was a valuable lesson I learned for the future. Just giving people a chance and most of the time they will surprise you and enrich your life!
Thanks for commenting, it means a lot to me! Xo
I fully understand that. You have no idea how much I wished I'd been warned before I married a psychopath. Admittedly I never warned his next victim. However, I was fighting for my own survival.
My relationship survived a very similar situation. What you describe as his behavior after discovering the affair is very very common. They start to demonize their spouse to make it easier to be in the new relationship and justify leaving. The letter was also part of that. It is called rewriting history. When someone is in limerance or the feelings in the beginning of a relationship, they start to look at the old person as what is keeping them from the happiness of being with their new object of desire.
Make them part of your HISTORY not your DESTINY
Amen!
One thing I've learned is to let go immediately, as hard as it is. Whenever I've tried to work it out it has led to tremendous hurt & pain. All which would have been avoided by leaving the first breakdown of trust, otherwise it's just torture and ends up at the same place... I'm so glad things worked out for you!! That's wonderful.
So true we could've saved ourselves the heartache had we left when we encountered the first betrayal. Well the lesson was hard but hopefully we learn for the future! Thanks for sharing ur story!
That’s very true....otherwise the pain is simply prolonged & so much worse in the end!😞
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
@@richardrivas3294 The Law of Attraction always works, but it has to be something you want... Funny Richard Rivas, you look nothing like your Spanish surname (ripa; Latin for river).
Yes there’s a saying, I think from Maya Angelou - when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
I got ahold of my ex’s phone bill and broke into his email! I don’t feel bad at all! I found out everything and we broke up. 5 years later found my husband and I’m glad I did what I did!
I met my bf when I was really young. He was my first bf ever. I realized I wasn't in love with him after 7 long years. We had built a life together. When I realized this, I broke up with him even though it was really hard, because although I knew he wasn't the one, I still didn't want to hurt him. He was in denial about it so much that he pretended the break up never happened the following day. I had to have the talk with him numerous times. It was HARD, but thats what you do as a decent human being. Cheating is simply being too weak to do the right thing.
Absolutely agree, it's ok to feel how you did and it sometimes can't be helped, people grow apart. Xx
After 7 years you realized you weren't in love with him?? damn
This happened to me too! And I was judged. But you can’t force yourself to love someone
Sounds like my story. But he cheated.
Reason given: I felt unloved and unwanted by you. All we did was to care about building the future, working and money. So he was cheating for 3-4 months and fell in love with the other girl. He lied to her to despite us being engaged and she doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. I spoke to her on the phone. But it’s now been a month and he still tries to get back with her. I knows this as he tells me like I’m his friend as we are stuck in 1 house due to the mortgage together we took in February, / months before he went on online dating.
I wish he would’ve just broken up especially before we took out there mortgage…
This is what I am afraid of. It took you 7 years to figure out. You took 7 years of his life. Ofcourse he is in denial. And you think you are off the hook cause you didn’t cheat. Crazy.
I completely understand everything you said. Especially when you said “I don’t trust anybody.” Neither do I. I openly tell my husband I will never completely trust anyone. Including you. At least he knows.
I think it's great you're honest and he gets that, that will stand you in such good stead xx
This is just like my break-up - everyone was shocked cos he was the nice guy. He had an affair with his subordinate / co-worker and waited til a week after my bday to tell me. There was total trust on my end, same thing about using each others phones. He completely took advantage of my trust. He didn't fight for me or want to make it work, didn't console me - told me about the affair and that he was leaving me for her. It was exactly like seeing a switch flicked for him, just became this other person. I had to take 3 days off work and my boss was hugely understanding too.
I'm glad you found someone who loves you fully xx
I'm so sorry lovely, it seems an all too common scenario x
I always say that you never can truly trust someone 100%. Doesn’t matter if your married and have a great relationship or not. Unassuming partners cheat all the time when you’d never expect and that’s the saddest part that hurts so much. I will never say someone would NEVER cheat bc you don’t know. It sucks.
Beautiful and strong woman.
My ex cheated on me 3 months before we were due to get married. So humiliating having to call everything off.
At the time, it was the worst thing in the world and today I count my blessings x
Oh my goodness, I'm sorry lovely, but you're right you had a lucky escape xx
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
Such a brave woman thank you for sharing. Married 28 years being abandoned is devastating it’s definitely like a death.
I don’t understand why people would be negative...this is her story, her life. No one is saying this applies to every man but my story is almost identical to this so it does happen. Humans can be so strange sometimes, let people live and share their story whatever it may be.
Thank you lovely, UA-cam is certainly a strange old place! Lol xx
Hun I randomly came across your video and I’ll I’m saying is: what goes around comes around, this guy will not live peacefully ever after! Have faith on that! Because no one can get happiness by ruining someone else’s life, history has proven that...
May Almighty give you something better than what was taken away from you❤️ much love xxx
Thank you lovely xx
nice quote
This is beautiful
thank u for thsi message
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
I was married for 5 years and with him for 11... college sweetheart, no children, married at 23. I saw signs that concerned me mostly thinking he was depressed because he wasn’t at a ‘financial’ point he felt he should be and he didn’t like his job. I certainly didn’t think it was me. I urged him to go to therapy and after about 3 months he did , and asked me to come to his 2nd session and at that session he said he. wanted to separate. I was in complete shock . The therapist said ‘he loves you very much, he’s depressed and needs space’ . Ok. If that’s what he needed I respected it but extremely sad over it. He asked if i could leave the next day. What? !! I packed in tears, cried non stop and moved back home. I cried everyday for a month while also going to my own therapist. Once in a while I’d call him and He was never the same again. Very cold, nothing like the person I knew. I met with him a couple months later as his therapist had suggested we do to touch base. His wedding ring was off. And that’s when I knew my marriage was really over. He was a stranger to me, he even looked and dressed differently i didn’t know the man sitting in front of me, nothing like that man I knew , I never understood why and that was hard because how do you work on yourself if you don’t know what you did wrong. I had worked thru that question in my own therapy. A few months later after the new year he asked for a divorce. I’m Italian he’s American white , and I think that was a big reason behind so quickly dissolving our marriage without even working on it. Culturally we were very different and you know what, my mom was right. She always said he’s not a family man and that’s going to be a problem .he asked for a divorce in a letter , yes letter, coward , he said he just simply fell outta love nothing more than that. So we went separate ways he lives in another county so I never had to see him again. To this day 20 years later . Easy divorce no property or kids . I look back and think he was just a chapter in my book of life. We shared so many experiences and had so much fun and I guess it happens, that some people just fall out of love for som. But I I don’t love that way. . My Vows were important as is my culture and my religion. I had met the man who eventually years later became my husband when i received that letter so in some ways it was easier to process because i was very happy at the moment but i still cried because it hurts to hear someone you wanted to spend your whole life with and trusted and wanted that happily ever after says they don’t love you anymore and never will. But blessing in disguise I’m with the man of my dreams and am living my best life and we have mutual love respect and adoration for each other on a level that was never like with my ex and if I was still married I would never have known a love like this because it is soooo different. It’s beautiful . I do still carry some trust issues as well as self esteem issues because of what i went through i think it goes with the territory that after you experience something like that with someone you trusted so much that it is possible to happen again. I feel a tiny bit guarded, not that I’m waiting for anything to happen more like an inner strength of knowing i could get through it if something did happen. On last note, and why I’m a little more guarded is I heard 9 months after our separation he had a baby with a woman he worked with . Aaaahhhaaaaa... I bet he was having an affair.! He didn’t stay with her, he has since married someone else but that was a thorn in my side to have found that out but I had to just keep on moving forward and not care anymore. I’m happy your happy now. Blessings in disguise right! And like you and so many, you never forget that person, but you don’t care about them anymore nor do they occupy your mind. But sometimes something reminds you of them, a song, a movie ... it’s natural, it’s ok , I wish him well. We all deserve to be happy. And quoting under the Tuscan sun, divorce doesn’t kill you... you think it will but it doesn’t . We all have the capability to move on. That’s how we learn, that’s how we grow. Thank u for sharing your story . Sorry mine is so long. I haven’t talked about this in years.
Thank you for sharing lovely, a lot of your story was very familiar for me and I'm so happy you also found the right one for you. I'm very happy that although I was divorced which was something I never planned or wanted to be, I hold MY head up that I never broke a vow and stayed true to what marriage is regardless of what the other person did and with that we can be very proud xx
Patti P I read the whole thing. Thanks for sharing.
I have found that if you are in a long term relationship 4+ years and suddenly the person says "Yeah I'm done with you" there is ALWAYS someone else on the side.
I can imagine it's pretty common x
Patti P I can soo relate! I love how you said that you never forget that person, but you no longer have feelings for them. I think people close to me don’t understand that. I’ve moved on regarding my connection to him, but the aftermath of the way things dissolved, stays. When you’re not expecting it and you have that deep trust, it makes you always wonder if even though things seem perfect with someone new, they could still surprise you. It’s almost like a part of you never allows yourself to fully trust and let that guard down to be happy to the absolute full extent. No matter how amazing it is, there’s that little seed of doubt...we’ll, more like fear. It’s nice to see someone else express what you’ve felt for soo long yet feel soo alone in it. Thank you
I’ve experienced the same. It’s been 4+ years. I’m no longer “missing” my ex or sad about him in any way, BUT, the trauma from it all still sticks with me. I was 3 months pregnant and he left, never heard from him again. If that wasn’t hard enough dealing with abandonment personally and watching our 2 year old suffer as well, I found out he got with another woman and got her pregnant the first month he was gone. It felt like one thing after another, and it didn’t help that I was pregnant and dealing with a high risk pregnancy due to pre-term labor. Almost loss my baby at 20 weeks. The blows just kept coming. The whole thing affected my health soo horribly. Stress truly does kill. I feel like pregnancy somehow kept me together, but once she was born, my health declined soo sharply. 4 years later and I still feel like a part of me was destroyed forever. That’s what hurts the most. I’ve never experienced a breakup that had that kind of negative impact on me. I have tried to date, but I’m just not the same person and I feel like my baggage influences my ability to be a healthy partner. It would take a very patient & loving man to stand by me as I learn to trust again. I know it’s possible, it just would take a unique person patient enough to see what I can truly offer once I can find that trust again...
Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry lovely that's truly awful that you had to go through all of that. You're right it will take the most special person to make you want to leap again, but that's what you deserve and will find when your heart is ready x
Damn! Your story hurts,man! I am so sorry and I hope you can find what you wished for in the last few lines of your comment.
Rosa thank you soo much ☺️ it’s very much appreciated 💛
@@Sara-rr1lu my pleasure! Sad to hear that men that are supposed to protect us are the ones destroying us! Sheesh
Hugs hugs hugs xxxx
You have described a lot of what I've been through. I still have nightmares, 20 years later. I am remarried for 18 years. The emotional shock caused a physical reaction. I could feel the blood in my arms race upwards. I thought I was having a heart attack. It was one of the worst times of my life. My heart goes out to you, hun!
Typical toxic guy and doesn't communicate... You are lovely!! So sad
Thank you so much so are you! X
Sending you so much love. And I know this is irrelevant but you are SO BEAUTIFUL, and you seem to be such a genuine and sweet soul. What a loss.
NEVER EVER ASK, even themself does not know...they just literally fall out of love, and his mind is not with you anymore....just move on, and do not lose time for those who does not deserve you. The problem is him, NOT you!!!!!
😚😚
It's common for the person who wants to leave to try and make you hate them so they can have a reason to leave or ease it.
100% they say "you deserve better"(which is true) but they say that so they act like they doing you a favor instead of just working to be a better person.
Ugh.
This is my situation after 12 years of marriage, he discarded me like I was his enemy or trash. Like he never knew me. He left for the secretary from his work on May 13 2023,he filed for divorce on June 1st. I was blindsided. Not certain how long prior he was grooming her but it's irrelevant. So devastating. My husband completely ghosted me. I went from talking with him everyday 12 years to NOTHING.
I took my vows very seriously as well.
Thanks for Sharing your story.
@ladyvirgo9514 : your not trash dear...ur beautiful brave bold and God bless you and your worth it 💯
I know a man who did this eight years ago to his wife. Dumped her out of nowhere for a woman over half his age. They're podcast cohosts. On a liberal political podcast. He's a dick.
THis is exactly what happened to me, almost with the same timescales. THEY are the trash, not us.
@@stephfriend I know a silver fox (50's) who left his wonderful wife for a twenty something year old whom he groomed and hired and now is in a romantic relationship with and dumped the mother of his two children heartlessly. He's a good father but a cad. And he doesn't care. Unreal.
@stephfriend oh wow! I agree! Only little cowards do so dirty like this. I wish you wellness 🙏 The divorce process is still ongoing for me, 11 plus months later, he didn't want me as his wife yet hes dragging this out
Thank you for this. The only thing I would say is that some people maybe won't find someone else: it's a huge success to find satisfaction in being alone. Not all of us are destined to be paired up and there is a rich complete life in being single.
You're welcome lovely xx
So you are saying some of us will be forever alone? No, I think there is someone for everyone and that those who stay alone, do it by choice.
Im single and 29, I love my single life, to travel meet new people etc but I want to experience true love and get married n have children, nobody wants to be alone forever.
Blah Blah very true! ❤️
Male perspective: He was jealous and felt less of a person. Not that my view helps.
I very much relate to your story-from a terrible divorce after 18 years of marriage (and six children) to losing my son and his wife and my beautiful granddaughter three years ago next month-a strong support system is crucial!!! Going easy on yourself is paramount ‼️ Thank you so much for sharing your story-I know it will be a great encouragement to many🙏🏼You are amazingly strong women -much love to you and yours-
Here’s to happy endings-I found love again as well -and he took me and
all six of my children in and we
raised them plus his three to
adulthood👍🏼❤️🥰
WOW. I thought I was alone. I was married for 27 years and I have everything to my husband. He left me for a girl that was 12 years younger than him. I was devastated. It's taken me 8 years to let go. It's so hard and you feel lost. It's so hard to start all over. Girl it's not worth crying over any human who can't give you the same respect. I'm so sorry. I feel your pain. 💯
These men, leaving a lifetime partner for a younger woman... they are so unimaginative! 😠
I hope you're a little (or a lot) better now! 💖
My partner of 19 years left me a month after my foster brother died and my mom and grandma were both given weeks, hopefully a month or 2 to live. It makes me feel insane to still love someone who would do that to me. Its been a little over a week. I'm so happy to hear your divorce led to such good things. I pray I can some how get over losing so many ppl at once enough to try to live, let alone love, again
Eurgh, I'm so so sorry lovely. You are not insane that's only natural, things will get better xx
I so fully understand what you mean by that, I too am in the same position after 29 yrs of marriage. I wish anger would take over so I could use that energy to carry on but you just keep questioning, how could they do that ever, never mind at this time when you are so vulnerable. It is so cowardly and selfish. But it doesn't take much to realise how much better you are than this person. Our emotions can kill us but I would still rather have them than be so shallow and cold. Let's think about each other and will each other love and blessings at this sad time. X
I'm so sorry lovely, take each day at a time and don't be hard on yourself. You're right the emotions will do what they need to do but you will reach a better place and come through the other side xx
Wow me 2. My sister died an he stayed for a few months but we where having problems.i knew it was going to end soon. Later we broke up but he stayed around lil bit an my brother died . Then he was off screwing other girls again. An ignoring me. So I completely understand your pain
Oh my goodness, I'm so so sorry for your loss. You've been through so much but you're still standing beautiful xx
hunni, your story proves that it doesnt matter how beautiful or smart or amazing you are, this can still happen... you are all of those things and yet you still had to go through this terrible experience.... but you have shown that its possible to come through the other side a stronger person and that things happen for a reason, because now you have the husband you deserve and your gorgeous kids to make up for all that heartache... i hope any ladies going through a similar situation who might be looking at themselves and questioning what they did wrong or thinking maybe they werent 'pretty or slim' enough etc will see that if a man is that way inclined then he is going to act that way no matter what... it was lovely to get to know you better through this video, thank you for sharing xxx
Thank you so much lovely, I totally agree, it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them xx
The most beautiful women in the world still get cheated on. I believe that men will choose whichever woman strokes his ego the best.
When Jay-Z cheated on Beyonce I knew that beauty, money, status, won't stop a man from cheating! 😞
Exactly what I was thinking as when my husband left me without much explanation I just thought he had found a woman more beautiful than me but this girl is stunning and kind hearted. Goodness me...men 🙄
@@lionessnala2000 jayz cheated on Beyonce so... 🤷🏽♀️
Omg. I went through the EXACT same situation in August. My ex husband of a year cheated on me with someone he was working with. They are still together. Your video really helped me ❤️
I'm so sorry but glad it helped lovely, hope its getting easier xx
Charlotte, my husband of 24 years left me for someone else , I didn't know, didn't even suspect, but he was treating me badly for about a year before he left and provoking arguments with me, then he packed a bag one night and said he needed time out and was staying with a friend for 2 weeks, he never came back..I found out later he had been having an affair behind my back for 5 years!!...lying to me and our children for 5 years and living a complete lie for 5 years....it was unbelievable and devastating....I had believed we were close, happy and that he loved me...I cannot tell you what this does to you to realise that a person you trusted completely could do this to you....but like you I'm married again and I have a wonderful husband and life is sooo much better than it was... my life lesson from all this is that we never really know a person, you think you do, but you really don't....I will never completely trust anyone again, and that's sad...but life goes on and there IS happiness again after divorce.
I'm so sorry lovely I know exactly how that feels x
thank you for sharing your story! it gives me hope since my husband of 5 years also left me. I’m in complete shock because i never suspected. im focus right now on healing myself
My wife's story with her ex is similar to yours. Don't know how you feel about anything "religious ", but the way she got through it is she prayed that God would give her his heart of compassion towards her ex. It is nearly impossible to hate someone after doing that. She now views him as a miserable man in need of serious help. All harsh feelings are long gone.
Oh I don't have any harsh feelings, that part for me didn't last long if at all. X
Pink is a beautiful color on you. And even though this was a very hard story you look very put together. Thanks for sharing such a personal story
Thank you lovely xx
It literally is a "death " of a relationship. Very good advice for getting 'through' the days, weeks, months and moving forward! Love the video!
Thank you lovely x
Yes. Grieving is important
Narcissists dont suffer guilt lovely lady...Its amazing how the pattern of behaviour that these "emotional abusers" follow is IDENTICAL...Im a 50 year old Australian woman and our experience is just the same,down to the tiny details....I thought I had these people figured out until 8 weeks ago...I lived your nightmare...everything down to NEVER EVER HAVING A SINGLE THOUGHT ABOUT CHECKING HIS PHONE..NO CLUE,NOTHING AT ALL...Im glad you made it though and never forget that it's not us who are crazy🇦🇺🇦🇺❤
It's been 5 yrs an just started to feel better. I still don't care about being in a relationship till it's perfect, don't need to ever be in that pain again
I understand lovely, one day you'll know when you've found the one to make you wanna take that leap xx
I am a family lawyer and it's incredibly common to hear from my clients "I don't even know who he/she is anymore" and "they aren't the same person I married".
The best part of my job is seeing the growth my clients go through from our first meeting to our last. It's quite an empowering thing to witness.
I'm so sorry he put you through this but I'm so happy that you have emerged stronger and not embittered. ❤
I can imagine! Thank you lovely I'm very lucky xx
I have been going through this for over a year now -- I was with my husband for almost 11 years. I have come to realize that I have dodged a bullet -- been given a great gift...I am free to find someone who really loves me...free to start fresh and begin another chapter in my life. I was devastated when it first occurred. My husband is a coward and tried to blame everything on me. It is very much like someome died and I went through that grieving process...now I'm ready to move on. So glad you posted this!!
Good for you beautiful xx
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
We've been high school sweethearts, then dating in colleague, 7 years of dating in total. Planning to get married.
So, my grandma was in a hospital, dying at that time. I spent a lot of time visiting her in the hospital, but still always found time for my partner. He would tell me some stories about his new friend from uni- how he really liked her dog, and how she said something funny. I trusted him completely, he was like a part of my family, we shared everything, why wouldn't I? I had lots of friends too. Then one day, he came over, we ended up going to bed, then suddenly, he got up, with the saddest look in his eyes, I asked him if everything was okay, because I was worried about him. He said yes, but he had to go. I didn't realize that it was a "goodbye sex". When he left, he immiediately texted me that we need to talk tomorrow in person. We met in public, he just said "I need a break from you." I was shocked, started to cry, I wanted to know why? And all he said was "Someone told me you gotta be selfish sometimes." Then he got annoyed with me, and left me there. It was not like him at all. He was always very caring and sympathetic. I was shocked. I don't know how I walked back home, I don't remember it at all, I was so shocked. Then the next day, my friends took me out to cheer me up. I was sitting in a bar, crying over my ex, when he called me, heard I was in a bar and said something like "Oh, I can hear you are partying already. And I thought you cared about me" and he hang up. We didn't talk afterwards, after a while my best friend told me she could collect my stuff from his house for me. He got very angry with me for that, called me asking why do I have to bring other people into this, these are our problems etc. Every time he called, he was angry with me, like it was all my fault. I never called him. I left him alone, just like he wanted. Then, a few days later, while I was still very depressed over the break up, I went to Facebook and saw some girl tagged him in a picture which broke my heart. She was wearing his t-shirt and panties. And she tagged him. I died inside. I only asked him why didn't he tell me in the beginning? Why did he act like it was all my fault? And he said, it's none of your business. Later on they were dating. The day before Valentine's he asked to meet me, how it was really important to him. At that point, it was months after we broke up. I agreed. We met and started talking shit about her, and how she would never be as good as me, and now he's only with her because he feels bad for her and all that crap. He's not the person I thought he was, I don't know how can you change this much?
Hey, Ive been in the same exact situation sadly. Same exact story
@@myladytechniques7719 Hey, I hope you are doing well now. I'm getting married this year (NOT to my ex, thank God). Once you move on from the toxic ex, life gets better!
people SWITCH and its SCARY.
@@Vaipatri1 I completely agree.
So sorry this happened to you. My wife of 19 years did the same thing to me. I didn’t see it coming because I completely trusted her. I gave her my whole heart. My wife has been so cold hearted to me. I’ve tried to reconcile with her for over year. She moved out last December to move in with her boyfriend. She lied about everything and was so deceptive. I have no answers either. She won’t talk to me about anything. The heartbreaking thing is our divorce is going to be final in a couple of weeks. My worst nightmare is coming true. I’m having problems with anxiety and depression.
How are you now Dennis?
Go get meds and talk to someone. I'm so sad for you. Hang in there...God bless
This resonated so much with me. Charlotte we are the same age and I was married for a little over 5 yrs. An abusive relationship but I thought I could not live w/o him truly convinced...now I know I can live w/o anyone and be OK. I have the worlds most amazing husband now. So glad u shared how u meet your knight in shining armour ❤️ All the happiness I wish u and your family!
I'm so sorry lovely, but really happy to hear you're happy now. Thank you, you too!! Xx
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I went through something similar, although we were not married. The feelings you described are 100% what I felt like. The breakup was followed by one of the happiest summers I ever experienced and I found love again. So it's possible to grow and get better out of this. I'm happy to see that you are very happy now.
The hardest part I have found about mourning as though they had died is when you remember they have _not_ died but are very much still alive and if they left you, are usually the one in higher spirits moving on almost effortlessly in their life.
And the conflict of your body mourning the death of a loved one (sluggish, tired, heavy in spirit) and the mind knowing they ARE alive and well with another even living in the same town... is excruciating.
It’s like living in 2 plains simultaneously.
Half living.
Half dead.
My heart goes out to you and anyone else in this place. ❤️
It's extremely hard to just cut all ties with someone you've loved and been with for a long time, such a sense of shock to the system xx
95% trust is completely normal and I think incredibly healthy... thank you for sharing. I feel the same way about not trusting people, I only trust my husband and one friend 95%. For me it's self preservation. And it's quality not quantity. You are a fantastic coach & thank you for sharing the good, the bad and the "real". I admire you a lot. Xxx
Yes I agree, it takes me a long time to trust people and that's no bad thing xx
Ellie Humphris Men don’t even deserve 1% of your trust. If they can trade you in for something better they will. Even if you stayed by his side when his days are tough.
Wow seems like he purposely put that letter there for you to find. That is cold and calculating. What a vile action that is to do.
Marriages that are like Parent-Child and are not Equal-Equal, tend to end or become toxic.
With that being said, it must have been quite a shock to you bc he was super caring and you found out randomly. I am sorry you had to go through that. Thank goodness you got away from him.
Yes totally agree xx
Or master slave and she is never wrong
he put that letter there for you to see
I’m just now watching this video, though I’ve been following you for a while. I’m so sorry you had to go through this - but glad you were able to turn it into a positive. Thank you for telling your story. I know it has helped a lot of people. You seem like such a kind, genuine, beautiful person and you deserve all the happiness and success in the world! Keep being you! Hugs!
ive just recently gone through a similar experience and im still suffering so bad daily. however i really needed this video to make me have faith in myself and my future. i cried all the way through, but it was a good cry. i dont feel alone anymore. im sorry this happened as i know exactly how you feel. x
Oh lovely, I'm so sorry you're going through this. There's a much much better path for you and you will find it, be kind to yourself xx
This story is strength - the support of the people around you sound absolutely AMAZING!!! I am so proud of you and how well you handled this. It is truly lovely to learn how strong we can be
I wss definitely very very lucky to have so much support. Thank you so much lovely xx
Watching this video I teared up many times made me relive a past experience I had when I was very young In a horrible relationship. Thank you for sharing. I’m sure it’s helped many heal and even though it’s in my past it’s nice to know we’ve all been through it are capable of growing and arriving to a better place ♥️
You're so welcome lovely, I totally agree xx
Thank you for sharing your story. I haven't seen this in the comments yet, so I'll point out that your boss seems like a wonderful employer and human being. It's always nice to have a supportive work environment and team when you are going through difficulty in your personal life.
This hits home. For years, I'd suppressed memories of finding out my boys' dad had told guests he took on tour horrid things about me. I only discovered when looking at his website page feedback scetion. To see it there, in a feedback section, stating the poor guy was unhappily married to a psycho b**tch, was heart wrenching. Hearing your story, Charlotte made me realise how much of a sisterhood there is out there. I am sorry that you went through it all. X
You have done such a lovely job of telling your story. I’m so happy that you didn’t let one person make you bitter, and were able to move forward.😊
Thank you sweetheart xx
This will be so incredibly helpful for so many people. Thank you for sharing this story. Mine was a bit different experience but having a small network of close people is key. And yes, my second marriage has been terrific!
I really hope so xx
when you believe that you deserve a good guy,that’s when you will attract him.Your brain will filter out the trash
i think you are so sweet, and articulate. I couldnt help but notice you literally breaking out in hives as you continued speaking. I think you are awesome! I wish you nothing but happiness.
Hi Charlotte, I know this is an older video of yours but I just wanted to let you know that you are incredible. The strength you have is absolutely unimaginable and the way you handled this situation was flawless. I am so, so happy you found someone better for you. Thank you for this because you have really, really helped people by posting this video (even years later) Xx
Thank you Charlotte for your transparency . You explained it very well without bashing him (the Ex) which shows complete maturity and closure . Sometimes we are put through tough situations to help strengthen us for a brand new chapter/ life, so well done . However you look great by the way , once again thank you, I really enjoyed this video and advice.
Thank you lovely xx
Charlotte Holdcroft not at all , thank you as it was an really informative video. by the way Charlotte, what size is your jumper as iam planning to nab one online, so we seem roughly around the same size, just need a size reference point lol.
It's an 8 (UK) xx
I have always been cheated on I’m 33 and have been single for 14 years totally understand the trusting thing being an issue. I can’t ever see me being a relationship or finding someone. I just go to work and have dedicated my time to my daughter who I have bought up for the last 14 years on my own.
Well you are doing an amazing job for her lovely. But you can and will find someone when you're ready. You don't have to trust them at first but if they're worth it they'll earn it xx
I did the same 😀💪 . Good for you.
Ask yourself if you are faithful. If you can answer that question with a YES, than ask yourself: "Why should I be the only person in 9 billions which is faithful?" Surely theres at least another 1 too! ;-) Still a bit of risk in it, but give the real love the chance to find you!
Stay that way. Trust me, theyre not worth it. Enjoy life, travel!
@@heidiTouray how long you been married?
This seemed to really give me hope, that i can be happy again. My bf broke up with me about a month ago, he left me wondering what i did so wrong for him to leave me in the dark like that. Ive been struggling to try and keep my head up. Ive been very lonely and taking steps to move forward is getting slowly easier. Thank you for this video❤
You absolutely can and will be lovely xx
13 months later and I hope you're in a better state
Whenever I see this, I think that they just don't want to feel guilty about what they've done. It is harder on the person they leave, because you get no closure, but all that tells me is that your ex isn't strong enough to deal with the guilt they feel over how they might make you feel.
“Question time” is common when people are cheated on but it is DEFINITELY a woman thing. We obsess over the fine details even though they just add extra pain 😭
Exact same thing happened to me minus the marriage 🙁 2 year relationship, he was punching, but i was ridiculously happy and secure. The lad couldnt tell me enough how much he loved me everyday, one day he just switched and i found out it was another woman. I moved out - he moved her in two weeks after. Then they got pregnant a month later 🙄 was all very traumatic and 3 years on it still haunts me. I’m Happily with another now but still dealing with trust issues and getting counselling. Glad you got through the pain! Xxx
this is the most helpful and put together breakup video ive ever seen..you are so eloquent and mature about the entire situation. wish this video was out when i had my breakup last year :')
Thank you xx
Hi Charlotte, I stumbled upon this older video of yours and I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am for you sharing your story. I was in a relationship with a man who massively lied to me.. probably even more often than I know. I've been out of this relationship for almost a year now and I am still asking myself those questions you mentioned too. Hearing what you said will help me letting go of those questions I still have because he will never be truthful to me and I need to move on. I like your idea of setting a date for myself to get out again. Thank you so much for this video, it really helped x
I am just now finding your videos. Thank you for your bravery, as well as your transparency. You are truly helping both men and women overcome and heal their heartbreak. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing this Charlotte. My family was torn apart by two separate affairs and just can’t thank you enough for sharing something so personal and intimate. You are amazing !!! ❤️
Thank you sweetheart xx
All I can see is your radiance coming through in this story. x
Awww how lovely x x
this touched my soul!! God bless you. thanks for sharing! i’m very happy for you and how everything turned out. everything happens for a reason 💕💕
Honestly what a success story xx it has clearly shown how strong you are and how even stronger it made you!
Thank you so much I think it has too xx
Thank you, I needed this. I am 9 months out of a situation almost exactly like this and still in the trenches of mourning almost daily. The reminder to have hope is such a small thing it seems, but it has such a big impact.
I'm so glad lovely, you are NOT alone and it will get better I promise xx
I don't think when men turn to be cold mean assholes its because of guilt. They behave like that because they do not care anymore, have enough and want this questioning and drillilng to end. No guilt unfortunately although women like to think that they have human emotions.
Ha ha quite possibly!! X
Than if they cant deal w the questions dont lie open up speak ur mind if u cant do that they need to tell u they dont wanna go on any longer but of course they dont ur always the last one to know .they cant speak feel u dont need to know and they just dont care .to men like that kiss my ass cuz its the best ass u ever had .oh dont mean this the way it sounds .i am the best female u ever had!!!.ur lose.
😂😂😂 Go Joyce!!!! Xx
@@CharlotteHoldcroft iam trying its gonna be a long road .i cant let it go w out why.the heart break is up on already .why cant they act human ? Joyce.
Yes you can and you may have to. Don't let them control your future when they've already taken your past xx
you’re so relatable it’s unbelievable. thank you so much for being so open💛
Sounds like he wasn't bothered anymore, he could have just been honest with you and told you the truth . Its not that bloody hard is it ?You better off without him. He probably cheat on that girl he stayed with anyhow. God some people are gutless they avoid stuff to the end , he got no balls..
Yes I agree, I think honesty is everything and as adults if you can't speak up then you're going to have a lot of issues in relationships xx
Also wanted to say I went through a traumatic breakup as well and truly understands what it means to feel that the person has died. And I know what it's like when the person doesn't want to put in effort and fight for you. However all things happen for a reason. thank you for sharing your story!
Yes I totally believe that and think that philosophy helped a lot at the time xx
I feel so bad for you but I'm so happy to see your courage and positivity!!! You're such a rolemodel. I can't believe that a partner could write a list like that, of course people write lists with things they can talk about and things that people can change, but to write things about how someone looks or that someone's "not good at ironing" is so gross (honestly) and sexist. I'm so happy that you left him and that you know you deserve better. Thank you for this video!!! :)
Thank you so much lovely xx
You handled this so well. Thank you for sharing. I know you helped so many people.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm very sorry you had to go through such a hurtful thing, and out of nowhere at that. I'm so glad that you got through it, and found a good man. 😊 I'm pretty impressed with how strong you are, and how resilient you've proven to be. You also are beautiful and well-spoken. You can help alot of people with your story. Hugs!🌷
Thank you so much I really hope so xx
I think this was a very tastefully done video. I appreciate you sharing and helping those who are going to through such an incredible difficult time.
Thank you that means a lot to me xx
Please don't delete this. Just ignore the bad people. Xo
I'm trying my lovely but that's sometimes easier said than done xx
It truly is. I have beauty channel too and have had some vile comments on my occasional storytime videos. Please know if you do delete this that it has been very empowering for so many of us. You're one of my favorite fellow UA-camrs and I want you to know that this has helped me a lot, and I will continue to watch and love every video you put out! I'm so glad you have beautiful babies now and are happy in life.
Thank you lovely that means a lot and makes it so worth it xx
You're amazing for being so honest and open about the horrible situation someone put you through... So happy you're over it and became stronger!
Mrs. Charlotte - So much love to you! I recently went through a divorce and I found this very helpful for me. Thank you for starting this type of conversation. I think this is so helpful for everyone. God Bless you Beautiful Lady!
Literally went through the same process when my ex-husband cheated on me, and he fell in love with someone he worked with. It's crazy how when we are struggling we tend to think it's only happening to us. When in reality so many of us are going through the same thing. Thank you for sharing your story, it's validating to hear that what I went through and how I reacted was me being a human being.
Yes it's so true it's easy to feel very alone xx
Charlotte Holdcroft 💕
Good for you, I am sure this will help a lot of your followers. Very mature approach to the story without just bashing the guy 😘🙆♀️
I hope so thank you beauty xx
You’re honestly so understanding and honest, beautiful inside & outside 💗
Thank you very much for your honesty and your truth. Over 10 years after this happened to me it’s still gut wrenching how totally stunned I was at the time, and how I beat myself up about it all. You move on, of course, and life gets better but you never quite get over it. Having said that life is much better and I love your videos (and you have one hell of a back catalogue to go through 🤪).
HE WROTE THAT LETTER BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY HATES HIMSELF...he's projecting. HE needs to realize that HE just maybe wants something different and so he should be telling you how he feels, not what he hates about you. It's LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY. He will get his KARMA.
Thank you so much for going through these dreadful memories in order to make this video because it is very helpful for everyone going through rough time in their life. Happy holidays to your whole family 🎄
Thank you lovely, you too xx
My god. What a story. The fact he had no remorse. You're so brave and positive. Thanks for sharing and glad you were able to move on xx
Thank you for the community! We need this going through hard breakups!
This video brought back so many painful memories for me. However, like you, I’m now married to the love of my life. Some of us have to go through hell to get to the place we’re meant to be. Thanks for sharing. Big hugs.
Definitely and I know i have so much more gratitude for what i have now xx
OMG this sounds almost exactly like my experience. Thank you so much for sharing your story, I really thought my story was unique but everything you have said I can relate to and have experienced in a different way. I realised that my "husband" is a narcissist and he kept that side hidden for 4 and a half years. I couldn't believe he was the same person I married. He was a completely different person. I have come to the realisation that I should not expect any answers from him and that I had to figure out how to move on on my own. Thank you for sharing.
Good for you beautiful xx
Only just watched this and it’s the first time I’ve felt like someone understood exactly what has happened! Thanks for giving me hope 🥰🥰