@@thekadend im pretty sure its true for all religious texts. Im Jewish, but i dont think the Torah (old testament) was written by God, Abraham, or Moses.
i used to joke with my family that Christianity is just the jesus fandom and the bible is their fan fiction, and now here it is, coming from the mouth of a puppet 😂
jf2022 yea with Allah drawn or whatever the fuck they’d actually go out and kill you. So you can’t take the same steps as one would with Christianity. Best you can do is make sure each child growing up has access to proper schooling that can make them scientifically literate and hopefully a percentage of them can shed off the indoctrination. But only in western countries. They’ll still kill you for leaving the faith in some areas. Best we can do is not sell that “tolerance” bullshit.
jf2022 but still just because people have been shitting on Christianity for a while doesn’t mean they should stop. The fact that the Christians religion isn’t like Islam right now is evidence of the pressure working.
I tried reading the Bible once, but the authors seem to have had absolutely no sense of proper pacing or narrative structure. A re-write would be a godsend.
whoops forgot that serving would sound like he works in hospitality i just mean hes giving. hes serving. hes epitomising. the concept of drinking 8 coffees in the span of 60 minutes.
Most things he did happened before he canonically became a zombie though. However, who am I to say that he didn't turn into one during his 40 days and 40 nights in the desert? There are actually SO many things that could be explained if Jesus was in fact a vampire that I am SHOCKED there aren't more conspiracy theories about that.
That's funny because I've seen his act here in California and it's no different. I can't say about red states though. As Janet correctly pointed out already, they are trying to turn the U.S. into a theocracy. But they are a small minority, not half the country. At their most numerous ever in 2020, the entire republican base was less than 30% of the country (74 million out of 255 mullion).
The hole time I was watching this I stopped and thought about my grandmother and was wondering how she would like this video then remembered she would probably hate me if I cared to utter a word about it Edit: I was right
It's not the radical christain's you need to look out for worse you'll get is a small boycott and a few in-group condemnations and choice words. The real challenge is making fun of Islam. Most sane christian's dont really care.
Christians have been getting backlash for years now and they aren’t even the sensitive ones and people continue to make jokes and most don’t care but you get the good amount that do (usually old people) but God forbid you make a Muslim or gay joke then you get sued and thrown in prison as a hate crime
I found some religious nut in a comment section once. They said something like “Jesus will come back soon, people, it will happen” I replied “he already has!” And sent them the link to this.
@SAUL deGAUL No I don’t know sh*t about religion and I sent them this because they said that the Imperial March is the music that Jesus would come back to and rambled on about how perfect his return would be, I just wanted to make fun of them.
@SAUL deGAUL so Jesus would come back to a BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR while Satan could be coming back to Rick Astley? I should also mention you’ve gotten me into a rather interesting conversation
It does make sense he converted; I would imagine wandering into a church that allegedly worships you and seeing representatives of THE THING THAT KILLED YOU would get pretty disturbing.
The "the bible is fan fiction" part killed me
Keyword fiction
tis true though
@@thekadend im pretty sure its true for all religious texts. Im Jewish, but i dont think the Torah (old testament) was written by God, Abraham, or Moses.
@@redskinsman10
Abraham is possible but unlikely, assuming he existed.
Which is kind of the point against all religion now...
And the Koran's an obvious self-insert fanfiction of the Bible.
see, Jesus wasn’t black or white, he’s purple!!
So he died on the cross suffocating
JUST LIKE BLUEBERRIES
@@delsinyman3300 Well, they were designed to suffocate you so.
@@oneeco 😭
The man behind the slaughter
I THOUGHT IS SAID RANDY VS JESUS AND I WAS LIKE "Yeah he would do that"
Let's fight
An epic battle
Finally a worthy apponnent
Our battle will be legendary!
As a Christian, I still want to read the Vampire Bible
Strange, because as a vampire I stay away from the Christian Bible
Try the Japanese bible it call the black bible
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter [2001], Fist of Jésus [2012]
TiroDvD what
they staked his wrists and feet, not his heart... so basically he took a nap for a few days to rejuvenate... all makes sense really
Jesus reads the Bible.
“Chapter 1”
...
“I bought a bookshelf from Gumtree.”
You deserve a medal
OMG I LOVE THIS!!!!
I finally watched "Randy Writes a Novel" (2018) and it was amazing. ua-cam.com/video/LhjMOtaBqVc/v-deo.html
@@DigeeTheGenie Herbert Hoover promised us a thicken in every plot
oh my god thats great
Jesus: "I have actually converted to scientology"
"Feels like more fun"
I've lost it there xD
Fighting evil by moonlight
Winning love by daylight
Never running from a real fight
He is the one named Jesus Christ
He will never turn her back on a friend
He is always there to defend
He is the one on whom we depend
He is the one named Jesus Christ
The fact that Randy is a Buddhist, playing Jesus.😂
mundanechimp or is it
@@Conwera yes it is
Is he actually Buddhist?
@@gothic-eraknight1586 or is it
I thought he was a lapsed Catholic
i used to joke with my family that Christianity is just the jesus fandom and the bible is their fan fiction, and now here it is, coming from the mouth of a puppet 😂
*prophet
i made that joke in front of my dad once in the past and he got pissed at me lol
That’s a rude thing to call Paul…
Always believe in your own genius!
@scarletpachyderm joke? 😉
It takes balls to do this, real balls, with all those religious fanatics out there.
And I respect that.
Aussie telly wasnt as americanized as it is now 5 years ago. . . Sad
Nobody cares
@@ProjectFlashlight612 you do enough to comment. . .
jf2022 yea with Allah drawn or whatever the fuck they’d actually go out and kill you. So you can’t take the same steps as one would with Christianity. Best you can do is make sure each child growing up has access to proper schooling that can make them scientifically literate and hopefully a percentage of them can shed off the indoctrination. But only in western countries. They’ll still kill you for leaving the faith in some areas. Best we can do is not sell that “tolerance” bullshit.
jf2022 but still just because people have been shitting on Christianity for a while doesn’t mean they should stop. The fact that the Christians religion isn’t like Islam right now is evidence of the pressure working.
I love it when he stares at the camera menacingly XD
¿ you can tell the faces apart ?
"The bible is fanfiction" that actually lines up with some interpretations 😂
It wasn't even written by Jesus😅
So it basically is🤣
I tried reading the Bible once, but the authors seem to have had absolutely no sense of proper pacing or narrative structure. A re-write would be a godsend.
It's a real shit toss isn't it, mostly gibbish and nonsense
@@RymanRocks get it, a godsend?🤣
Well, they DID do the whole "unreliable narrators tell the same story very differently" bit YEARS before 'Rashomon'.
Tell me about it! And there's little to no humor! What's a story without humor?! Not a good sci-fi story in my opinion
Its boring and a load of bolercks
"...the bible is essentially fan fiction..." omfg, priceless...
I always wanted to see Jesus in his true, pure form and finally my wish was granted
Fighting evil by moonlight
Winning love by daylight
I'll leave now
Okay, I shouldn't laugh, but... 🤣🤣🤣
Never running from a real fight!
He is the one named Jesus Christ!
@@Psycho_Panda97 and I'm done. xD
He is the one name Sailor Christ?
Eyyyy a fellow pony well I'm a Draconaquss tho
“The son of the lord has lost interest in Christianity”
*Y E A P*
"Fighting crime by moonlight." A little bit of Sailor Moon, too.
Did jesus make a sailor moon reference?
the power of god and anime my dude.
dude his turns to the camera, how does a puppet go from funny to slightly menacing without changing expression AND DO IT SO WELL
So a Buddhist is playing the icon of Christianity, who was orginially Jewish and has converted into Scientology?
Love it.
A Buddhist Muppet
an apocalyptic Jew no less!
....and the Christians picked it up & ran with it. 😑🔫
My favorite story about Jesus is when he went flipping tables in the Jerusalem temple in an absolute rage
it was originally bookshelves
Whooping the asses of merchants with a whip
Not when he rode on a horse or maybe a donkey or maybe both at the same time?
Infallable
“Keeping it real, you know, keeping real.”
I knew this would be horrible but it was even better than I expected 😂
Peace be with you. The crowd responds like good Catholics..bless..
*anglicans
This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen
If Jesus is resurrecting someone to play God, it's got to be either Marlon Brando, Heath Ledger or Tupac Shakur
Free Bird Heath Ledger would kill Jesus' loved ones and make him break his one rule...stay a virgin
Fuckin CHOOMAH!!!!
FUCKIN NOLZAYYY
The father, the son and the holy ghost casting
All three and they change every scene to be like god is everyones or some shit
Heath Ledger as God the Father…
I need to see this.
This is the best blasphemy I have ever watched and I love it
He looks like when Zoidberg dressed up as Jesus.
And I am his friend, Jesus!
Only bad thing about this....was having to change my pants after pissing em from laughing
After I discovered this comedian and watching all his videos, I don't know how TF does he do it. It's absolutely amazing.
When he looks at the camera i really feel it
I’m Christian and I find this hilarious
...that's the "cognitive dissonance"...
dude its awesome to see such comfortably inoffensive comedy. really impressive work from randy, and serving 8 cups of coffee in an hour ☕ as usual!
whoops forgot that serving would sound like he works in hospitality i just mean hes giving. hes serving. hes epitomising. the concept of drinking 8 coffees in the span of 60 minutes.
My brain exploded when he said the Bible was fan fiction. The most accurate sentence I've ever heard in my life
Gosh the scientology bit was incredible.
Now THIS is a jesus I can get behind.
Love it when he looks at the camera
Randy 2011: i’m Jesus, amen
Randy 2020: i’m Buddhist
"The bible is essentially fan fiction"
That's uuuuh. True
This is a Jesus I can pray to!
Oh my God when he said many returns for the 25th me and my sleep deprived brain thought “wait Jesus is turning 25?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
fanfiction about a "super zombie" = the holy bible
fuck you for being accurate
Most things he did happened before he canonically became a zombie though. However, who am I to say that he didn't turn into one during his 40 days and 40 nights in the desert? There are actually SO many things that could be explained if Jesus was in fact a vampire that I am SHOCKED there aren't more conspiracy theories about that.
I die every time he stares directly into the camera with those intense eyes.😂
"If you wanna get rich, start a religion". L. Ron Hubbard - Founder of Scientology
Anyone else agree that this Jesus looks like black Jesus or the Jesus from Mary Shelly's frankenhole
Lots more spaceships, much less crucifiction.
I love that he strokes his hair
I need vampire jesus
From Good News World to ABC 'Comedy' in the 2010s...couldn't get any fucking lower!
You Enlightened me...
Am I the only one who would actually read the book about Jesus being a vampire fighting crime?
No, no you're not. I'd love to have that as a real book.
I'd read it, but I wouldn't make a religion out of it. Not like Harry Potter.
"...and many happy returns."
_nice_ !
He bloody predicted the new Batman movie ten years ago
i have never seen such a cute jesus in my life
Man I miss this show
You should resurrect Tom Baker when he dies so he can play your dad, he's the closest thing to a god there is.
As in, Doctor Who Tom Baker?
You're god damn right he is.
@@mephostopheles3752
Is there any other?
Worthy??
Well done. I'd like to see that. Not Tom dying but playing god.
I can get behind this one lol
I love this so deeply
Dadddd they left out the dingy!
Those movies sound great lol
Peace be with you, comment section !
Go fuck yourself
*n o u*
Wa alaikum salam.
AND ALSO WITH YOU wait it's "and with your spirit" now LOL
And also with you!
This is a very good piece and a brilliant take on george carlins version
I would watch that Oddball comedy...
I'm glad Australia can do hilarious shit like this. I can't think of any US show, public access or no, that would do this with confidence.
And this is on free-to-air in Australia - love it
Because the US is practically a theocracy; it ain't much different than the Middle East.
That's funny because I've seen his act here in California and it's no different. I can't say about red states though. As Janet correctly pointed out already, they are trying to turn the U.S. into a theocracy. But they are a small minority, not half the country. At their most numerous ever in 2020, the entire republican base was less than 30% of the country (74 million out of 255 mullion).
For a moment, I thought he just fortold the "Hangover" movie. I didn't realize that was in 2009!!!
Thanks
The hole time I was watching this I stopped and thought about my grandmother and was wondering how she would like this video then remembered she would probably hate me if I cared to utter a word about it
Edit: I was right
I like that Jesus being a vampire is supposed to be weird, but a zombie is completely normal.
And with your spirit!
Principal: decreases
Lift: faster
Drag: friction
Sooo good!
Im suprised that christians havent attacked this
Seeing how sensitive society is nowadays
He got real lucky
It's not the radical christain's you need to look out for worse you'll get is a small boycott and a few in-group condemnations and choice words. The real challenge is making fun of Islam. Most sane christian's dont really care.
Yeah... the average Christian doesn't care nearly as much as people like to think, and often enough will have a good laugh too.
Christians have been getting backlash for years now and they aren’t even the sensitive ones and people continue to make jokes and most don’t care but you get the good amount that do (usually old people) but God forbid you make a Muslim or gay joke then you get sued and thrown in prison as a hate crime
@Corvo@AZ not in Spain if you dont beliebe me ask Willy Toledo
Ah, this is the thread i was looking for. I can now rest. Goodnight. (Please say it back)
Jesus just signed up to be part of the Marvel Universe.
"The Bible was written by my fans" randy you fuccing genius
I found some religious nut in a comment section once. They said something like “Jesus will come back soon, people, it will happen”
I replied “he already has!” And sent them the link to this.
@SAUL deGAUL dafuq
@SAUL deGAUL No I don’t know sh*t about religion and I sent them this because they said that the Imperial March is the music that Jesus would come back to and rambled on about how perfect his return would be, I just wanted to make fun of them.
@SAUL deGAUL so Jesus would come back to a BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR while Satan could be coming back to Rick Astley? I should also mention you’ve gotten me into a rather interesting conversation
Randy is a legend. Can't believe I just found him found out about him.
If you haven't seen it, check out his story "Buying a book shelf off gumtree"
I just learned 2 days ago.
Absolute crime I didn't know.
@@Robert08010 That's how I found him. It's a masterclass in storytelling
[Holy Music Stops]
If that’s what Jesus really looks like when I die, I don’t think I’ll know what to think
Jesus of Adelaide
Love it.
It does make sense he converted; I would imagine wandering into a church that allegedly worships you and seeing representatives of THE THING THAT KILLED YOU would get pretty disturbing.
1:10 Randy predicted Morbius
Peace be with you UA-cam comment section
vampire bit hits harder after midnight mass
To be fair, Jesus WAS the first vampire. He rose from the grave 3 days after dying.
3rd coming? Did we miss the 2nd coming?
Whoa they predicted Midnight Mass 10 years early.
Just add this to the list of reasons why Australians are awesome.
Jesus got ran over by the reindeer. LOL
i can feel the sniper scope
I'd like to see some dude try this on Fox News
Anyone noticing how much Jesus Randy looks like Jimmyhere? 1:32
I’ve been calling the Bible fan fiction for years
Checking old clips of Ice house 😉
My name is Christian Lucy Ferkrishna and I am also a scientologist
Is this in Australia?!?! Theses dude shave no chill and I fucking love I wanna move here xD....
I want that bible!
Retconning canon has gotten out of control.
Jesus: peace be with you all!
Audience: peace be with you
Me in back: I'm an atheist
jesus: *SHUT THE FUCK UP!*