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The Importance of Friendship w/ Jacob Imam
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- Опубліковано 7 сер 2024
- Jacob and Matt talk about friendship in Aristotle and the Christian Tradition
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Chapters:
0:00 Intro
4:15 College of St. Joseph the Worker
10:32 Prayer for Pope Francis
11:50 Knowles kicked off Twitter
15:28 Importance of Language
19:00 Defining and Finding Friendship
25:30 The Types of Friendship
29:20 Traits of Bad Relationships
32:05 The Natural Desire of Friendship
37:25 Tech Blurs Friendship
42:13 In-Person vs Skype Conversations
44:55 Loving God through a Friendship
46:56 St. Thomas Quote on Friendship
53:00 Red Lights & Bureaucracies
56:42 Managing Friendships
1:00:50 Proximity in Relationships
1:04:08 St. Thomas on Friendliness
1:07:30 Physical vs Para-Social Friendship
1:17:30 Successful Community Building
1:24:18 Virtue of Friendliness
1:25:17 Different Personalities in Relationships
1:27:00 C.S. Lewis on Friendship
1:35:00 Break
1:38:13 Local's Questions
1:39:00 Conflict Resolution in Relationships
1:43:55 Inter-sex Friendships
1:54:40 Friendship Development
1:58:10 Structures of Sin
2:02:30 Maintaining Friendships
2:19:28 Best Friends
2:22:30 Marriage and Weddings
2:43:45 Dogs and Memes
2:48:00 Wrapping up
Always love when you have your friends on. These are generally my favorite episodes. Need another Jacob/Marc/Rob episode.
On the topic of restoring a hurt friendship, I have experienced the true joy of this. A good friendship of mine took a big hit a few years ago due to some immature behavior on my part and some backbiting on his part. But I matured and he matured, and we tried again. It took both of us being humble and open, and putting the other's good at the center. He's one of my closest friends today and the joy of our friendship is one of my life's greatest blessings.
Somewhere there’s a Muslim with the last name “priest” lol.
But it's pretty unlikely there's a Sikh with the last name "Rabbi" :D
The question of "What do I do if I can't find a friend?" and the response of "Consider moving" is just really frustrating.
Lack of friends sucks - but is it honestly worth leaving to another town far away from mine and my wife's family on the off-chance (no guarantee) that I can establish meaningful and lifelong friends in a "vibrant" Catholic community ?
👍 Your conversations together are always extremely helpful....only around 15 mins in and already have new usable ideas for healthy bonding activities. I'll keep listening... thanks!!
What I find interesting is the high quantity of writings in classical thought on friendship (Plato's 'Laches'; Cicero's 'De Amicitate'; Aristotle's discussions in the 'Ethics', Christ's discourses about it in Saint John's gospel, and perhaps many others whom I have neither read nor heard of) in contrast to the low quantity on the same in the modern era. It is almost as if people in the ancient and medieval world took love and friends more seriously than they do in our own age.
PETITION: Please have Thursday on your show, Matt!!!
I have a feeling that (J.) Thursday prefers to keep details of his life to him at this moment and would prefer not to share too much publicly. If so, I respect that and guess it might work best for him, at least at this stage of life. And there's already plenty of interaction (and I'm so glad he has a working microphone :)) - I think of his story as something that unveils in the background of all the episodes, piece by piece, the secret plot... ;)
I am smiling and nodding all through out. I work in Qatar, as you know, a muslim country, and work is double the load now that it is during Ramadan. Listening to this episode while closingand cleaning up the kitchen which I am dreading all day for I am tired, but this got me through ❤️ God bless us all
These are some of my favorite talks Matt you are totally crushing it🎉
Great conversation ❤ thank you Matt
Not me being hyperfocused on timber framing. Thanks for driving my wife crazy by providing me topics to discuss with my pillow ad nauseam while she tries to sleep😅
You and my husband, I'm about to sign him up just to scratch the itch and be done. 😂
Wonderful discussion on an incredibly important topic.
My best friend and I first bonded over coffee, literature, and our common Christianity even tho she was Cath. and I was Prot. After I became Catholic, our friendship reached a whole new level. I don’t think we would be as close today if we weren’t united on that deepest level, in Communion if you will.
Great Podcast guys, it was really enjoyable to listen to.
I have one comment on: "When your wills are aligned, there friendship is"
I disagree, I think that would still apply to two guys who decide to rob a bank together and split the money.
That's not a true friend.
A true friendship begins when you love your friend for who they are, and receive their love in return.
It begins when you look at another in contemplation and (like God) say "It is good that you exist."
If you say - "You are my friend" - it must be forever.
As the goodness you see in that friend will never go away because it comes from God via the virtue of being made in His image.
and another comment on - On why Live interviews are better - Love (and therefore friendship) requires presence.
Great episode
It’s funny as a Catholic I have made plenty of Muslim friends. I have NO Catholic friends. I would like to find Catholic friends, people I have in common with in my area but I can’t! It’s sad!
Go to Mass and get involved with your parish community groups.
Great episode!
Jacob’s story is such a great testament to faith!
Yesterday I walked right next to the Governor of Oregon and her wife and male guard in an empty intersection next to my parish in an area with so many homeless, crime, enabling and distress these past years, I simply ache for my Salem though looked at as a threat in my maleness. Viva long honest friends. Degarmo & Key Apathy Alert. St. Joseph, pray for us. Mother Mary, Pray for us.
Why do you say these things? Why do you not just ask your friends to pray for you? We Protestants do that. Much love to you my brother in Christ
Chad ✌🏻
@@TheChadPad We ask our friends to pray for us but they are distracted by work/family/life and may be burdened by unconfessed sins. The Saints are our friends in Heaven and are in the direct presence of G_d so they prayers are more efficacious because they have been perfected. Kinda like the difference between a 100m sprint Olympic gold medalist and me running against each other.
See? they have this option it is perfect as all things should be we make a holy trinity of sects.
2:32:42 "I think it was Fulton Sheen or somebody... Poor Fulton Sheen, he’s the repository of all uncertain quotes."
That's a good quote :D Works for Chesterton and Einstein too ;)
love this
Thursday laughs like the way I text/type a laugh.
15:39 I was not expecting to hear this reference here of all places it absolutely killed me 😂😂
I don't understand why the videos with Jacob don't get more views. They are legitimately some of the best on this channel.
Because he’s been written off for his dumb stance on investing and saving money. He sets himself as an expert in finances but anyone who’s had to pay bills knows how naive he is.
It's always so sad to hear just how many people do not have real friends. Our culture definitely is against friendship, but it's also an art that individuals need to cultivate. I think when you learn how to be a good friend you can then make friends. Otherwise your efforts are just frustrated. I have several great friends and I often forget this is not the case for many people.
Yes, we need to learn this and cultivate it. But it *is* easier for some than it is for others. By God's grace we will all reach our destination, but if you have (several) good friends on the way, just be thankful. Without them the journey really is wearisome sometimes.
An interesting conversation and a beautiful friendship to witness...
I'm just thinking if this isn't more of a male thing - companionship, cigar lounges, lawnmowers and all. At least when children are little it's hard to imagine a woman, a mother enjoying the same intimate friendship with her girlfriends. There must be something of a equivalent I'm sure, I just hadn't had the good fortune to encounter the thing and don't really know how to imagine it.
2:36:00 I’ve been married for five months - life is SO hard, marriage is not 💕😇 Praise the Lord
Just saw these two coming out of Chesterton's Cigars in downtown Steubenville a few hours ago.. All I could say was " Mr. Fradd ... I've seen you on UA-cam '. Kinda corny on my part. I guess I was momentarily starstruck. Alas, at least he responded "hey". Both these gentlemen are doing a good work for the Lord.
Matt, please give an introduction to your guests to explain who they are in the Catholic world. Some of us (old ladies like me) aren't knowledgeable about everyone on the internet, instagram, etc.
I think he did get introduced that way, eventually. But as far as I know - which isn't very far, maybe as far as I can throw a 16lbs kettlebell (which isn't very far) - Jacob is here mainly as a friend of Matt's, not because he's a particular "big name" in the Catholic world.
@@bbseal6174 Thank you for replying. Maybe I just don't pay close enough attention. I been watching Matt for a while now and there have been quite a few times when I've had to Google the guest's name to find out about him or her.
@@thossi09 Thank you. Yes, in the course of the conversation I did hear that Jacob is a Phd., a friend of Matt's and is offering a summer program in Steubenville. I had to Google Jacob, though, to find out he's a former Muslim.
@@dianedavis1676 Yes, and I don't "being a former Muslim" is really important to this very friendly chat about friendship :)
For my part, it's also not that important that he has a Ph.D., nor is his summer programme in Steubenville all that interesting to me (since I'm living on another continent).
At least, for my part, it's not that important who Jacob Imam is "in The Catholic World" (I guess that deserves a little footnote since "The Catholic World" is bigger than "The US Catholic World", even online. The important thing (in this context) is being able to watch two friends discussing what friendship really is :)
@@thossi09 I agree. It was very enjoyable listening to 2 friends discuss the philosophy of friendship. But since PWA is a "Catholic" channel that presents discussions in relationship to Catholic beliefs and teachings, it is helpful to me to have a sense of who Matt's interviewees are. BTW, I'm a convert (11 yrs.) Thank you for taking the time to reply to me.
I would like to see Dr. Robert Haddad on the show.
He is an Australian! ⚘️
You should get Matt Whitman on the show
Another Indian Imam converted to Catholicism many years ago. Please interview him. I can help to connect him.
Thanks
I have been married 5.5 years, so I’m open to being wrong on this and growing in wisdom. Marriage is not hard. I’m not saying it doesn’t have challenges. It if course does. My wife and I have a 3 year old and a one year old, and they don’t have halos so obviously they can be difficult. But if we say marriage is hard the question has to be asked in comparison to what? I’m sure the priesthood is hard. I know being single was hard. Dating was hard. Engagement was hard. Marriage is no more hard than those, so if we say all of those are hard then hard loses its meaning. I have the same view of marriage today as I had before I was married. Being married is to wake up each day and say, well im going to love my spouse today or at least try my best. Some days I suck at it. Some days I knock it out of the park. I suspect everyone in every vocation could say the exact same thing. The ratio of how many good to bad days you have is just the ratio on how well you are growing in virtue.
(I did write this before they had they back and forth.)
The comment I was looking for - thanks for saying this, man. Just celebrated 15 years here and I agree with everything you say - and add that it's so important to recognize the lived sacrament of marriage as an avenue of grace as well, it makes a real difference.
@@sethgoepelart I’m glad my thoughts ring true for you as well. Life is hard, but that is what the Fall was, the transformation of comfort to hardship. The relevant question now is what are we gonna do about it and that choice is simply 1. Trust in God and KNOW things will work out if you keep persevering. 2. Try to do it on your own and never find fulfillment.
Great episode. On the topic of guys and girls being friends, would you say that maybe a reason guys are not as comfortable in vulnerable/heart to heart situations has to do with the lack of fatherhood in our world? It would seem as though the father's 'vulnerability' (in certain respects) with his sons can help form the sons to know that they can have close male friendships without it becoming weird.
Agreed, it seems to be a huge factor.
Re: marriage being easy (end of discussion) - I think that life in general is easier as a married person because you have a partner and friend to rely on in times of difficult, but I agree with Matt that any difficulties that seem to happen are my own brokenness and sinfulness in encountering those life events. Having the humility to recognize one's own insufficiencies and insecurities makes it much easier, but getting to that point is rough. So maybe to sum up, marriage is easy for the couple but hard for the individual? Which is how it's supposed to be, I think. We throw around the idea that our vocations are our pathways to heaven, but what does that really mean except purgation and purification?
Will you guys do a show on the issues or full time WFH? I do think there’s a problem there and you guys touch on it a bit here. I’m fairly depressed when working in isolation from co workers and it seems so obvious but so many people want the WFH life due to its convenience. If indeed you agree with that premise, of course.
WFH has been awful for me. Was sent home 3 months into my first big boy job march of 2020, and my social skills and loneliness have been in the dumps ever since
I prefer WFH mainly because I can’t think in an office environment. Convenience is a big factor too but it’s secondary. I would enjoy a good Catholic discussion on it.
@@hudsonburgess3670 thanks - do you not feel isolated? Perhaps it’s more of a personality trait. Idk
@@Kinson09 not at all; it's definitely a personality trait. Family and church also make up for not seeing coworkers in person.
@@hudsonburgess3670 good to know, thanks
Friends that pray together stay together ❤️🙏 #truefriendship
JOHN CUDDEBACK, PH.D. on Virtuous Friendship and Phylosophy is also phenomenal. You should have him on your podcast. His a great and faithful believer.
From Christendom College?
It's always a lawnmower on Lawson lol (former Lawson resident here)
How do I get a 'Love Makes Babies and Institutions' tshirt?
Is Jacob Imam Byzantine Catholic? Anyone else notice the Eastern sign of the cross at 9:45??
Am I wrong when I say that men make a lot more friends that most women?
That knife was borrowed from Stella's Belle inn Omaha NE. They love you there. They sell knives swords mideval weapons and they love the saints. FAUSTINA IN DA HOUSE
2:07 on for 10 minutes
Sorry Thursday. We all think we know Brett Cooper.
Don't get feeling that the guy has a clear sense of what it is he's trying to say. It's just like he's repeating what really smart people have said in fancy words without having a real message himself.
Problems in just the first few minutes:
1.Friendship and charity are synonymous terms (False; Aquinas is explicit that friendship, love, and charity are three different things)
2. When making an analogy, there is always a greater dissimilarity than similarity (False; Imam is confusing Lateran IV's doctrine about language of God with the definition of analogy)
3. One of St. Thomas' "great transformations" is that friendships of utility and pleasure can be movements into real friendship (False; Aristotle explicitly says the exact same thing in the Nicomachean Ethics)
I stopped there. This may be useful for some, but it was too sloppy for me. Aristotle's treatment of friendship is one of the best we have. This fellow's gotta read it before he attempts to critique it, especially on a channel named after Aquinas.
Lol you sound like Dwight Schrute
@@flavortown7652 It is disconcerting that someone who has a PhD is making such erroneous claims. For example, the idea that we needed Aquinas to come along in order to learn that pleasure and friendship are related is absurd. Falsehood isn't a good thing, even when it makes your religion look better.
Matt endlessly talks about how great Steubenville is and is surprised when young people move there.
Matt endlessly talks about how hard marriage is and is surprised when young people avoid marriage.
Uh ladato si? Good?? Rethink that one friend.
love this