@@veronicajade20 - being told not to read books, is actually pretty common. A person, who reads books, often has a larger vocabulary and a different view of the world. It is safer to just read the news or watch a movie, your sense of your place in the world won't change as much.
This applies to so many things that have absolutely nothing to do with style. When you are actually trying to do something, the shamers and naysayers come out of the woodwork. Ignore them and carry on.
Been going through this shit since adolescence and as an adult, I refused to waste time on anyone one who seemed the least bit insecure. Now that I'm a senior, some of the same people wonder why I don't have wrinkles and still wear a size 2 even though I eat a lot. It's genetic. My mom is 93 and gets around without any assistance and she's stylish as hell. Sometimes people don't understand that it's how you were raised that makes a difference.
Oh my God! My exboyfriend used to ask me what I'm so dressed up for everytime. I am a person who loooves beautiful things, people and places. People shame me for that. But seeing this is making me firmer. Thanks.
On point! I had this condescending remark “are you looking for a man” and was taken aback but now I just said I value myself tremendously that I always want to honor it by carrying myself well by dressing well. Perhaps you should try that sometimes. That just shut them off.
Thanks! Every time I stand out in the crowd I feel that look. I take it as encouragement to dress nice. I try to compliment others, especialy redheads with beautyfull hair or looks. Women can be so mean.
Great video! I’ve typically been someone who’s frequently the best dressed person in the room. I’ve always done it for me, no one else. However, a few years ago I had a serious health crisis. The resulting need for comfort led me to switch to an “athleisure” wardrobe. I recently realized what a negative effect this was having on my self-confidence, even though my athleisure wardrobe was still stylish and flattering. For me, even just a smart blazer thrown over a pair of skinny jeans, worn with cute booties, makes me feel instantly elevated and more confident: more like *me*. (I live in a small Colorado mountain town, so it’s super casual here!) Now my athleisure items are relegated to, well... athletic and leisure activities! Find your “uniform”, the thing that reflects your personality and makes you feel confident, and go forth, ignoring what others choose to do, or what they may say about your choices.
Keep on keeping on! I'm an art teacher and love to dress nicely even designer. My students love it but an occasional naysayer will say, " You're an art teacher and you are wearing that????" Heck yes! I'll put an apron on if I'm doing messy stuff plus things can be cleaned. I want to put my best self forward and Lauren..you are an inspiration! Xoxo
Gwen Bardon i did a degree in fine art and it is now 8 years ago. I have to say that the teachers i had most respect for are the ones that were well dressed❤️❤️
Yep Lauren I’ve gone through this since I was young. Haters!!! I didn’t understand at all until I realized haters will always hate until they get a grip. However Self Development Begins At The Closet Door.. Amen!!
Thanks for this, Lauren! I have a close family member who openly frowns at me and says “why are you so dressed up?” every time we are together at a family party, dinner, or other event. I am not “dressed up”, but did take the time to put together an appropriate outfit, while she threw on baggy pants and a sweatshirt. Your video will help me greatly in trying to deal with her negativity and jealousy.
I have an Amazon Echo Look device that takes pix and catalogues my looks. I think it goes well with your Fashion/style journal ( I have a hard copy) I sent and email to HP and asked them to add and Alexa skill that would allow Echo Look users to print their looks by voice command to use in your journal. Yes I dropped your name and your book title. Lauren Messiah. They emailed back and said it sounded like a good idea and they would work on it. HP already has one Alexa printer on the market. I believe in you and I love what you’re doing. You might wanna check out the Amazon Look while it’s on sale. I also reminded HP that you’ve been tagging their Sprocket and they should reach out to you.
Soooo many times I've "toned myself down" because of constant comments like those that you mentioned... it makes no sense how unconsciously it has affected me..but to hear that other ppl go through it makes me feel empowered...its not just me
Why cant i thumbs up this video 50 times?! This was so well timed for me. I am constantly getting the 'woo whadda you dressed up for?' Considering I 'dress up' on the daily. And thank you for talking about spring cleaning...girl im in the midst of that right now!! Many thanks, Lauren!!
Wake up every morning, do u, get your life, learn to love your failures and celebrate your successes then repeat. Living a life giving zero fuqs is beautiful. ❤️❤️❤️
I have to admit, I started looking less put together and toned down my style because it seemed to make other people uncomfortable. People would compliment me but would also stare and ask me if I was dressing to “catch a man.” 🙄 I just got tired of it.
Thank you for this video, cause family always judges me with my designer purses and clothes. But little do they know I save my birthday and Christmas money for them even today now that I have kids, I also go to consignment stores. I’m not going to let anyone shame me on how I look or shame me for the designer stuff I wear. You made me feel more good about myself, thank you. 😊👍
Thank you so much for these recent topics, when I go to work people make comments about my dressing and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am a person of a certain age and race and I was taught to always show up and be present in physical and mental presentation and people at my current work is always talking about how well I dress and it is uncomfortable sometimes and I just try to change the subject and move on but on the other hand I really take pride in my appearance .I appreciate you so much and despite what people say these are real topics and issues sometimes and no one should be talked about or put on blast because of how well they dress or do not dress so I am so appreciative!
Yes, you do you. I won’t stop being me cause someone doesn’t like it. Their opinion means nothing to me and neither do they. A little harsh? I wish them good luck and goodbye!
Absolutely love this video. I have been dealing with wearing the things I love because of comments I've received in the past. I'm going to an event tonight and was battling with what to wear. I always want to feel comfortable and confident in whatever I wear while also not dumbing myself down to please people around who may have a problem with it. I always tell myself "I'm not here to please and satisfy others wants and desires" that always helps with more than just wardrobe issues ❤
Not meaning to judge but... this was an excellent video! Good use of humor in different forms. Good timing of information, in bite sized chunks. Thought provoking and filled with doable strategies. You inspire people to be brave in their lives, starting with the little things.
Thank you for this. I'd really like to read your autobiography one day or a book on becoming a successful entrepreneur either way I'd buy that and read it
I get a lot of this kind of hate. One time a guy told me that he hated me because I made his wife feel bag about her self. I was like, I am always nice to her, have I said something to that made her feel uncomfortable ? He was like no! She just feel bad about herself because you are always so dressed up. why do you have to dress like that to come to church anyway ? 🤷🏻♀️
OMG. Hmmm. Wonder if the husband is a jerk and tells his wife subliminally if not to her face that she’s not good enough. Wife needs to just come out of her shell.
This is so important. These idiots always want to tear someone down because they are either ugly af or can't take people who have style. The jealousy is real and it's ridiculous. They don't seem to realize whatever move you make is not about them but that you are doing it for yourself and have every right to. Probably because they themselves lack self value. They also dont seem to realize that you dont have to answer to them and unless they are somehow paying your bills, their opinion isnt relevant to your existence. You certainly dont have to make yourself small because some loser can't deal with your light (or your skin shade or your pretty face or your success or your popularity or your ability to attract people or your academic achievement or your vocabulary or your financial status. I could write a whole damn list). Laughing at them as the jokes they are is probably the best way of dealing with them as even feeling for these types won't be appreciated because they hate themselves too much. They are on a mission and laughing at them is best because then you aren't giving them any power beyond being the walking jokes that they are. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Full speed ahead Lauren. Great video to start off the new year.
Aaaha! "Shut the Freak up!", you are so my fashion mind twin! I love it and totally agree with you. I used to be uncomfortable with people who hate on the way I dress everywhere go , work , school, church , public places ,etc. but now I don't care who hates on my style. Most of the people wished they had my sense of style and I'm not bragging , but many people always ask my opinion about something relating to style in the shopping malls, at the office , etc. Some even say "When are you going to open up a fashion boutique ?;"Girl, I'd love to shop there because you have unique style and"I would have never thought to put that outfit or colors together!" So now I consider the stares and sarcastic comments as complements , people sometimes just don't know what to say because of their own insecurities especially the haters. I just keep" shinning , shinning, shinning shinning", and being myself because it makes me happy to look good and dress well. And yes , I will be doing something in the fashion/design industry in the future. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience in this field, you're one of my favorite style influencers . 😉
I've had many of my friends looking at me funny when I dressed "too nice" to go somewhere, especially the ones I've known for a long time. At some point I got tired of being "the stylish one" in my group and stopped dressing nice because I didn't want to stand out. That's so sad to change your style for people's opinion
Style is something that is often highly discouraged. I've experienced this in my own life, and seen an interest in style portrayed in the media as frivolous, vain, high-maintenance, and purely superficial. I also get the feeling that this area is seen as characteristically feminine in nature and there's probably some sexism at play.
I don't get hate. I do get confusion. And the thing that drives me absolutely BATS - young women coming up to me telling me they "can't dress like I do" but they clearly love it. I'm sorry - did we make long full skirts illegal? When? -runs screaming- Good message, Lauren.
Thank you SO much for this video Lauren! I think I have amazing style (I’m very classic/chic) and regardless of where I am, I like to dress well (within reason. Like I’m not wearing a ball gown to the grocery store but you know what I mean lol). I remember I wore a nice blouse, some skinny jeans, a pair of heels & a blazer draped over my shoulders to an ex boyfriends cousins bbq & when we were leaving to go to it, he was almost pissed that I was dressed so nicely. He was all “it’s just a bbq, you really need to just put on a t-shirt & some sneakers. You’re doing way too much” 😳😧 ... I was SO mad! Like don’t hate on me because I’m more stylish than you’re used to! LOL F you dude!
Amén! I'm don't dress the way I want to. But, leave the people who do like and the people who didn't like "dress up". I really wanna be better in the style área.
Awe man I do take notice when someone dresses up... I hope I haven’t made them feel bad 😐. I like going to of my way to take notice and compliment other women.
First of all compliments to your lovely look. Don't worry, it's so nice to get compliments and one knows perfectly well when it's a kind and genuine admiration like yours. I've got a dear friend in South Cornwall and whenever I visit her and we go shopping, how many times have we been complimented in shops or even in the street by other ladies and it was sincere . We graciously thank them then, if asked we tell them where we bought the jackets or else, and it make s our day. We're quite a contrast to those she calls " the fleece and anorak brigade". who dress like that for hiking along the coast, , fair enough, but could really make an effort when not practising their sport. Coco Chanel used to say : there are no frumpy women, only lazy ones.
People have told me to stop dressing nice...and to stop reading so many books. I love that you use both examples.
Same here! 👊
😮 People told you to _stop reading books?_ Omg.
@@veronicajade20 - being told not to read books, is actually pretty common. A person, who reads books, often has a larger vocabulary and a different view of the world. It is safer to just read the news or watch a movie, your sense of your place in the world won't change as much.
Loosers
This applies to so many things that have absolutely nothing to do with style. When you are actually trying to do something, the shamers and naysayers come out of the woodwork. Ignore them and carry on.
Joanna Kelley, my rule is the more people say I’m crazy the more I must be on to something good.
Been going through this shit since adolescence and as an adult, I refused to waste time on anyone one who seemed the least bit insecure. Now that I'm a senior, some of the same people wonder why I don't have wrinkles and still wear a size 2 even though I eat a lot. It's genetic. My mom is 93 and gets around without any assistance and she's stylish as hell. Sometimes people don't understand that it's how you were raised that makes a difference.
Oh my God! My exboyfriend used to ask me what I'm so dressed up for everytime. I am a person who loooves beautiful things, people and places. People shame me for that. But seeing this is making me firmer. Thanks.
On point!
I had this condescending remark “are you looking for a man” and was taken aback but now I just said I value myself tremendously that I always want to honor it by carrying myself well by dressing well. Perhaps you should try that sometimes. That just shut them off.
Thanks! Every time I stand out in the crowd I feel that look. I take it as encouragement to dress nice. I try to compliment others, especialy redheads with beautyfull hair or looks. Women can be so mean.
Great video! I’ve typically been someone who’s frequently the best dressed person in the room. I’ve always done it for me, no one else. However, a few years ago I had a serious health crisis. The resulting need for comfort led me to switch to an “athleisure” wardrobe. I recently realized what a negative effect this was having on my self-confidence, even though my athleisure wardrobe was still stylish and flattering. For me, even just a smart blazer thrown over a pair of skinny jeans, worn with cute booties, makes me feel instantly elevated and more confident: more like *me*. (I live in a small Colorado mountain town, so it’s super casual here!) Now my athleisure items are relegated to, well... athletic and leisure activities! Find your “uniform”, the thing that reflects your personality and makes you feel confident, and go forth, ignoring what others choose to do, or what they may say about your choices.
Keep on keeping on! I'm an art teacher and love to dress nicely even designer. My students love it but an occasional naysayer will say, " You're an art teacher and you are wearing that????" Heck yes! I'll put an apron on if I'm doing messy stuff plus things can be cleaned. I want to put my best self forward and Lauren..you are an inspiration! Xoxo
Gwen Bardon i did a degree in fine art and it is now 8 years ago. I have to say that the teachers i had most respect for are the ones that were well dressed❤️❤️
Yep Lauren I’ve gone through this since I was young. Haters!!! I didn’t understand at all until I realized haters will always hate until they get a grip. However Self Development Begins At The Closet Door.. Amen!!
Lauren kills me 😂😂😂 "you the best dressed amongst your loooooser friends" 😂😂😂
Bonnie Manana I love her 😂
"Shut up crazy"😂🤣 this video is truth
Thanks for this, Lauren!
I have a close family member who openly frowns at me and says “why are you so dressed up?” every time we are together at a family party, dinner, or other event. I am not “dressed up”, but did take the time to put together an appropriate outfit, while she threw on baggy pants and a sweatshirt.
Your video will help me greatly in trying to deal with her negativity and jealousy.
I have an Amazon Echo Look device that takes pix and catalogues my looks. I think it goes well with your Fashion/style journal ( I have a hard copy) I sent and email to HP and asked them to add and Alexa skill that would allow Echo Look users to print their looks by voice command to use in your journal. Yes I dropped your name and your book title. Lauren Messiah. They emailed back and said it sounded like a good idea and they would work on it. HP already has one Alexa printer on the market. I believe in you and I love what you’re doing. You might wanna check out the Amazon Look while it’s on sale. I also reminded HP that you’ve been tagging their Sprocket and they should reach out to you.
You are the BEST!! Wow. Thank you, thank you, thank. I will definitely check out the Amazon Look. Great idea.
Soooo many times I've "toned myself down" because of constant comments like those that you mentioned... it makes no sense how unconsciously it has affected me..but to hear that other ppl go through it makes me feel empowered...its not just me
Why cant i thumbs up this video 50 times?! This was so well timed for me. I am constantly getting the 'woo whadda you dressed up for?' Considering I 'dress up' on the daily. And thank you for talking about spring cleaning...girl im in the midst of that right now!! Many thanks, Lauren!!
Love this! So glad you don’t listen to the haters! Love your videos ❤️
Wake up every morning, do u, get your life, learn to love your failures and celebrate your successes then repeat. Living a life giving zero fuqs is beautiful. ❤️❤️❤️
Lauren I had to pause the video to say, “Amen!!!!,” and “Thank you!!!” Thank you for this message 🙏🏾🙌🏾
I have to admit, I started looking less put together and toned down my style because it seemed to make other people uncomfortable. People would compliment me but would also stare and ask me if I was dressing to “catch a man.” 🙄 I just got tired of it.
Thank you for this video, cause family always judges me with my designer purses and clothes. But little do they know I save my birthday and Christmas money for them even today now that I have kids, I also go to consignment stores. I’m not going to let anyone shame me on how I look or shame me for the designer stuff I wear. You made me feel more good about myself, thank you. 😊👍
Thank you so much for these recent topics, when I go to work people make comments about my dressing and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am a person of a certain age and race and I was taught to always show up and be present in physical and mental presentation and people at my current work is always talking about how well I dress and it is uncomfortable sometimes and I just try to change the subject and move on but on the other hand I really take pride in my appearance .I appreciate you so much and despite what people say these are real topics and issues sometimes and no one should be talked about or put on blast because of how well they dress or do not dress so I am so appreciative!
Yes, you do you. I won’t stop being me cause someone doesn’t like it. Their opinion means nothing to me and neither do they. A little harsh? I wish them good luck and goodbye!
Loved the spring cleaning idea!
My sister was definitely a "debbie downer" to me, i actually left home at 15 because of how she was making me feel
Absolutely love this video. I have been dealing with wearing the things I love because of comments I've received in the past. I'm going to an event tonight and was battling with what to wear. I always want to feel comfortable and confident in whatever I wear while also not dumbing myself down to please people around who may have a problem with it. I always tell myself "I'm not here to please and satisfy others wants and desires" that always helps with more than just wardrobe issues ❤
You go, girl!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 You explained it so well.
Hear, hear! Well said! Thanks for sharing...
Not meaning to judge but... this was an excellent video! Good use of humor in different forms. Good timing of information, in bite sized chunks. Thought provoking and filled with doable strategies. You inspire people to be brave in their lives, starting with the little things.
Thank you for this. I'd really like to read your autobiography one day or a book on becoming a successful entrepreneur either way I'd buy that and read it
Thanks for the pep talk!!
I love all your videos. You always give great information and content!
I get a lot of this kind of hate. One time a guy told me that he hated me because I made his wife feel bag about her self. I was like, I am always nice to her, have I said something to that made her feel uncomfortable ? He was like no! She just feel bad about herself because you are always so dressed up. why do you have to dress like that to come to church anyway ? 🤷🏻♀️
OMG. Hmmm. Wonder if the husband is a jerk and tells his wife subliminally if not to her face that she’s not good enough. Wife needs to just come out of her shell.
You are the queen! I thoroughly enjoyed this video.
I needed to hear this! Permission to be my best self. You are so right. Thank you♥️♥️♥️
This is so important. These idiots always want to tear someone down because they are either ugly af or can't take people who have style. The jealousy is real and it's ridiculous. They don't seem to realize whatever move you make is not about them but that you are doing it for yourself and have every right to. Probably because they themselves lack self value. They also dont seem to realize that you dont have to answer to them and unless they are somehow paying your bills, their opinion isnt relevant to your existence.
You certainly dont have to make yourself small because some loser can't deal with your light (or your skin shade or your pretty face or your success or your popularity or your ability to attract people or your academic achievement or your vocabulary or your financial status. I could write a whole damn list).
Laughing at them as the jokes they are is probably the best way of dealing with them as even feeling for these types won't be appreciated because they hate themselves too much. They are on a mission and laughing at them is best because then you aren't giving them any power beyond being the walking jokes that they are. Laugh and the world laughs with you. Full speed ahead Lauren. Great video to start off the new year.
Hey love
Its always so inspiring to listen you talking with so much zen :)
Yes Indeed!! Do right by yourself!💯👑💝
Aaaha! "Shut the Freak up!", you are so my fashion mind twin! I love it and totally agree with you. I used to be uncomfortable with people who hate on the way I dress everywhere go , work , school, church , public places ,etc. but now I don't care who hates on my style. Most of the people wished they had my sense of style and I'm not bragging , but many people always ask my opinion about something relating to style in the shopping malls, at the office , etc. Some even say "When are you going to open up a fashion boutique ?;"Girl, I'd love to shop there because you have unique style and"I would have never thought to put that outfit or colors together!" So now I consider the stares and sarcastic comments as complements , people sometimes just don't know what to say because of their own insecurities especially the haters. I just keep" shinning , shinning, shinning shinning", and being myself because it makes me happy to look good and dress well. And yes , I will be doing something in the fashion/design industry in the future. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience in this field, you're one of my favorite style influencers . 😉
I don’t mind the side eye looks
Lauren, you're my favorite 🤗
OMG I can think of someone right now that I need to spring clean out of my life.
I've had many of my friends looking at me funny when I dressed "too nice" to go somewhere, especially the ones I've known for a long time. At some point I got tired of being "the stylish one" in my group and stopped dressing nice because I didn't want to stand out. That's so sad to change your style for people's opinion
Love the video!!
Thank you so much for this video..You have hit a nerve for many..
Debbie Downer also Daniel Downer. Their a couple. 😂😂😂
Well done, Lauren Messiah
So true!!
Excellent video!! 🤗
Style is something that is often highly discouraged. I've experienced this in my own life, and seen an interest in style portrayed in the media as frivolous, vain, high-maintenance, and purely superficial. I also get the feeling that this area is seen as characteristically feminine in nature and there's probably some sexism at play.
Love that jacket your wearing by the way.
I don't get hate. I do get confusion. And the thing that drives me absolutely BATS - young women coming up to me telling me they "can't dress like I do" but they clearly love it. I'm sorry - did we make long full skirts illegal? When? -runs screaming- Good message, Lauren.
Omg spring clean they @ss outta your life! Lmbo!!!!!!
As always! Bullseye!
Thank you SO much for this video Lauren! I think I have amazing style (I’m very classic/chic) and regardless of where I am, I like to dress well (within reason. Like I’m not wearing a ball gown to the grocery store but you know what I mean lol). I remember I wore a nice blouse, some skinny jeans, a pair of heels & a blazer draped over my shoulders to an ex boyfriends cousins bbq & when we were leaving to go to it, he was almost pissed that I was dressed so nicely. He was all “it’s just a bbq, you really need to just put on a t-shirt & some sneakers. You’re doing way too much” 😳😧 ... I was SO mad! Like don’t hate on me because I’m more stylish than you’re used to! LOL F you dude!
Amén! I'm don't dress the way I want to. But, leave the people who do like and the people who didn't like "dress up".
I really wanna be better in the style área.
Awe man I do take notice when someone dresses up... I hope I haven’t made them feel bad 😐. I like going to of my way to take notice and compliment other women.
First of all compliments to your lovely look. Don't worry, it's so nice to get compliments and one knows perfectly well when it's a kind and genuine admiration like yours. I've got a dear friend in South Cornwall and whenever I visit her and we go shopping, how many times have we been complimented in shops or even in the street by other ladies and it was sincere . We graciously thank them then, if asked we tell them where we bought the jackets or else, and it make s our day. We're quite a contrast to those she calls " the fleece and anorak brigade". who dress like that for hiking along the coast, , fair enough, but could really make an effort when not practising their sport. Coco Chanel used to say : there are no frumpy women, only lazy ones.
Caras, that’s the kind of taking notice that most people appreciate. We all need to compliment other women more! ❤️
50 yo women at work see me like I’m too fancy and they hate fancy places and anything that is fancy. 😂 I feel sorry for them.
!!!!!!
stop trying to be ghetto. it cringey and you never used to be this way and it seemed more genuine