"Two Wrongs" - Short Film
Вставка
- Опубліковано 25 сер 2024
- A short film set in Manchester, England.
Directed by - Simon Cade
Produced by - Carl Mason (www.clfilms.co.uk)
Written by - Johann Farhan
Mark - Oliver Heald ( / oliheald )
Connor - Deon Lee-Williams ( / deon_rswt )
Pete - Sam Glen ( / samglen )
Dealer - Lewis Brown
Customer 1 - Naithan Ariane ( / naithanariane )
Customer 2 - Ryan Clayton
Connor's Mate 1 - Luke Orechoff
Connor's Mate 2 - Lukas Becker
Connor's Mate 3 - Paul Keighron
Pete's Mate - Ross Doran
Director of Photography - JP Caldeano ( / cinematicj )
1st Assistant Director - Wayne Bentley ( www.callboxdiar...)
Casting Director - Rebecca Jenner
Sound Recordist - Kristian Edwards (www.manchesters...)
Boom Operator - Danny Feng
Costume Designer - Emily Cooper
Production Assistant - Anton Arenko
Behind the Scenes - David Williamson
Editor - Simon Cade
Asst. Dialogue Editor - Samuel Jacintho
Music:
"SHARPSHANKREDEMPTION - Skyla Grime" is licensed under Creative Commons 3.0. Changes were made to the material.
/ skyla-vectra
Simon, really good film man. But please add subtitles. I just cant understand a thing. Only Fuck and m8.
There are subtitles, you just need to activate them (near the settings and fullscreen button)
;-)
that too 'fook yuh' 😂
+EmptyLose He added captions, just click the little CC at the bottom of the screen to turn them, but if you are streaming to a TV from a tablet you may have to glance down at the tablet to see the captions since I did.
And: Troi to fock yo life away? Or Piss of..
M8
Congrats Simon. #Booya!
Awesome to see you here.
darious. i thank you for your videos
***** I agree.
+RebelPixels As someone who also reads film theory (Rudolf Arheim and Christian Metz are favs) and regularly watches Tarkovsky, Bergman, Malick...I would just like to comment that while the story might not be fleshed out, on a semiotic and visceral level, the story succeeds! While not fleshed out, Simon really tested the limits of economical storytelling. In 4 minutes, there was an actual thematic progression told through the film-making perspective, and that is something that I think is a much much larger success then writing a good story.
I know Simon can slow down and let the story breathe...but often there is too much breathing at the loss of pace and visual progression. And as a visual piece, there is true cinematic language (that is the edit, shot, and score all coming together) at play, and to that I say bravo!
Also, shameless plug for my channel: Check me out brahhhhhs
I know the story lacked insane depth guys, and yes, to us as film makers we get very critical and tend to be perfectionists, but to a bystander, this was a solid film, i switched off my film making brain and watched this, and i thoroughly enjoyed it man, keep it up, also Darious it's good to see you here, gives me a warm feeling to think that like minded independant film makers are supporting each other!
I loved the atmosphere of this film. Really well directed, shot and edited. I think it was too short. We needed more scenes, like when the gun dealer tells the guy not to use the gun, we needed to see at least one scene of him thinking about it, wondering if he should go ahead or not, you know? But this is a good start. I want to see another one.
Agreed
João Solimeo I totally agree, well said
Also agree, maybe even a little more to indicate it was his brother / provoke emotions, family tapes?
Acting was also sub-par. not enough venom or hatred to be believably realistic. Huge props to the cinematographer and post-editor though! Well done!
João Solimeo i agree that scene would of added a lot.
I didnt understand jack shit of what they say, just "fock" and "mate"
Manchester accent
CC is right there. Try it
rakusko33 haha
I always wondered why everybody says that british english ir really hard to understand?
now I get it
now I get it
but the film is great anyway
Yeah it is how they speak "up north" down south they are a bit Clearer ,so you understand better !
Not sure if you are looking for constructive criticism, but here are my thoughts on your film.
1. Great locations and tone.
I like how each location feels like its own character. The sound design and color grade go a long way in this piece. The accents seem authentic too.
2. Great reveals.
I like how you didn't show him get stabbed, but had the audience figure it out from the dialogue. It kept it more engaging by not knowing everything.
3. Great use of wide shots.
I like how you are using the blocking of the characters to tell the story rather than cutting around a bunch,
4. Writing is rushed/confusing.
This short feels like a short film trying to be a feature film. The character say and do things that are hard to buy.
Why does smoking weed cause you to get pushed off the bike?
Why did Connor push him off the bike?
Why would Mark find out about his brother being stabbed from two random people?
Why would he need to right down "Connor" to remember it?
5. Awkward scene entrances.
It feels like the shots cut in right when you call action. Like the actors are waiting around for something to happen, or sitting on their first mark. I'm not sure why.
0:07
Same at 2:00
6. Little Things.
1:21 When it cuts to Mark, his. face is hidden. This confuses the geometry, because we lost his eyes. At first I thought he was in a different part of the room, because I didn't notice him in the first wide shot. This shot seems like a bunch of unnecessary dead space with the main focus point being obscured. Not sure what that conveys that merits hanging on that shot.
3:03 The slow motion feels jumpy. Was that intentional?
3:27 The Jib up doesn't seem to convey any more information since they are out of focus. I think it would have kept a better pace to cut away when to gun was grabbed.
Hope these help! For being such a young filmmaker, Great Job! I always look forward to your uploads, and I'm excited to see what you do with your career!
I agree. Scene transitions were a bit awkward. There were some areas where shots were left too long and could have been cut a lot sooner.
+Rad Radish You nailed it. Totally agree with all your points.
Same observations here. The sets, acting, lighting, and sound were spot on.
+Rad Radish Good film, i just have a question. What gun did he use? He shot a guy with it and the slide stays open. Then he got shot by the bad guy when the gun didn't have any bullets. Ooooooorrrr it was not a semi-auto pistol.
Again great film :)
I don't think the weed was the reason he got kicked off the bike...I think it was because he was unknown in the mans territory, he said - ( "talking to me like that around my ends" )
Anyone else think the whole film looks just a bit out of focus. I am watching in 1080p.
+ 12345littlepeople Yea something about the wide shots seems either a bit soft or maybe not high enough bit rate or something..
+ 12345littlepeople Yes. It does look ever so slightly out of focus.
That's what happens when you shoot on a Canon T3i and then crop the image for the black bars. I don't understand why the need for 21:9 aspect ratio is, movies only do it because movie theaters have that ratio.
+Nihal Dantluri Films UA-cam conforms videos at 1080p to around 3mbps.
+DavidSaganHD that has nothing to do with creating black bars. It's not like you're zooming in the footage to add black bars you simply just place the bars on top of your footage and frame it correctly while shooting. he just rendered the video for youtube which diminishes the quality completely.
Well the story doesn't fit for such a short film. 4 minutes is not enough for audience to be emotionally attached to any of those characters. So from technical point of view, the shots and editing was okay, but the story was dull.
+Marcin “diXone” Kucharski this is honestly the most well put comment I've seen on here. basic character development is lacking. if you were to ask your viewers which character was which after a single screening odds are the numbers would show they didn't even remember the characters they just watched. but it is a short
+East Coast Skim I wonder if he will address this issue in upcoming videos on dsrlguide
Completely agree with you, I expected better writing for someone who talks about this in his channel
+Aldo Piaggio Yes, but it is worth mentioning that he didn't write it. But nonetheless he directed it which makes him responsible for everything. And true, I am too dissapointed with Simon because he always speaks about story first, and now this short comes up... Well, actions speak louder than words, don't they
+East Coast Skim Im with you on that! Great way to put it. He had some amazing shots but did indeed lack the character development.
The cinematography in the last scene was great- brilliant, actually, but as a lot of people have already said- the film lacked story. It lacked soul- the dialogue seemed forced and staged. The actors put in a good effort- but with only a couple of lines each and barely 4 minutes, there wasn't a lot they could do with what they were given.
Eric Einárson it lacked storey and soul. you fall asleep brother? that film was utterly brilliant
The cuts in this film were painful to watch.I'd expected more from Simon Cade
Disagree. So much. It was simple.
Jason Lock it was simple but pretty good too bad that I really didn't care about the characters
Nah I fully agree. No one learned anything.
As it turned out, I don't understand english after all :/
+Marek Kacprzak I speak English and I couldn't even understand it.
+tobugoc It takes a little life experience and being around other ethnicities, etc., before you can pick up on the heavy accent.
You need to know how to speak chav for this film.
It's kinda like the start of Kingsman.
haha, yeah... ;-)
+Marek Kacprzak Funny how not adult person understand better than adult person.
You could say his plan backFIRED on him... heheh I'll let myself out.
XD
I'm really impressed with how much of a world you have created in under 5 minutes...well done. I'll be watching out for your next work.
Brad R exactly
Brad R a world where you get pushed off your bike for no reason, and then get stabbed to death for telling the guy who pushed you to fuck off. A world where guns don't shoot straight within a 5yd distance of the target except when the bad guys are using them. Is that really what Manchester is like?
@Sam Valentine No it's not and I doubt the author has ever implied it to be a true representation of Manchester. But that's the point tho, the fact that he created this little world just under 5 minutes and made you actually believe in it is what makes this short film so good.
NikitaShurhoveckis this film is trying to be grounded in reality. There's no denying that. So when you have events like those that I described in my previous comment, it becomes a tall order for a smart audience to suspend their disbelief.
If you mean the world that was created with visuals, sound, and costumes, yes there's potential for a 'world' there. No doubt, the film has high production value. But does production value make a movie? No, it cannot and does not save this film from it's rushed, illogical story and unbelievable character interactions. That's where the actual world and subworld of a film come from: the characters and the events that are created from their interactions with one another.
After watching all the behind the scenes videos on dslrguide, I decided to rewatch this movie to understand why it's not as good as it should have been. And I think the main reason is that it's too short. Things happen far too quickly. There could have been at least a few more scenes there. We needed at least one scene confirming that his brother was dead. The knife scene was good but it wasn't clear that his brother was killed. Then in the next scene when the two guys were talking about the kid who was stabbed 19 times, it's not clear how long it has been. His reactions seemed unnatural for someone whose brother had just died. Confronting Connor was a good scene but it should have been cut much sooner. The way they all walk out of the frame together seemed a bit odd. He should have just stayed there leaning against the wall maybe.
The scene with the dealer was good too. The starting of the music at that point emphasizes the dealer's warning and it feels really good. Maybe there could have been a scene showing him contemplating the warning. I know Simon says in the BTS videos that he wanted it to be punchy as someone who slows down to contemplate about revenge won't do it. Maybe that's a shallow understanding of revenge and maybe that was the problem. Or maybe the movie was already punchy enough and a slowing down of pace before the ending would have made it better. Just a short scene with him and the gun, contemplating what he's gonna do next. And making the viewer contemplate as well.
The last problem with the movie was that it wasn't clear that he killed someone else and Connor didn't die. At first viewing it seemed to me that Connor was killed by him and then he was killed by Connor's mate. Now that I know what happened, on this viewing in the last scene you kind of can tell that it's Connor. But in a 4 minute movie, there's not enough time for the viewer to really recognize all the characters. Again, a scene with Connor's closeup just after he killed the wrong guy, would have made things clearer.
I guess the way things unfolded after the gunshot was also a problem. It seemed forced. It's acceptable to think that he's in shock. If it had been made clearer that he killed the wrong guy, his shock would have been more understandable. And then he drops his gun? That just didn't feel right. That's the kind of thing side characters do. Viewers like the main characters to be smarter than that. A drawn out chase scene where he runs away and hides and throws the gun away realizing how stupid he had been to seek revenge would have made much more sense. And then after realizing his mistake he is found by them and they have their own gun or maybe they knife him to death as well.
The last scene is a good scene and that could have been kept with these additional scenes as well.
That's just my two cents.
Holy shit, that was more like your "eighty five" cents worth...
aditya thakur I totally feel you, I think it was an excellent film but just falling a little behind. This short needed a little more emphasis in it also it needed to be a little longer. His death was too quick they should've killed him saying something about his brother or something also maybe him holding bullets in one hand and the gun in another. Overall good plot and great planning after all it was all done over emails it was still a wonderful short
"What would mum say?" wasn't enough for you?
I had the same feeling of not knowing that the brother had died. Took me a bit to learn he was stabbed to death. I think the stabbing should have shown.
Daniel Castellano what would mum say about the only son she has left committing murder and going to prison? Fink abou' it.
My opinion: Not all that realistic. Some of the dialogue seemed forced. But, it was well-composed and beautifully shot, although some of the movement felt arbitrary.
wut u mean not realistic? Im curious
+SeftR I thought the bike being kicked over, and the way the person who did it kept calm and assertive, and the gang up, was spot on and really quality acting overall.
+singlefate yeah, I completely agree with you. I felt maybe having slower, calmer scenes in-between and after the dialogue to grasp what was happening would have made the storyline flow better. But otherwise it was very well done.
I agree, it seemed FORCED. It also felt a bit disoriented with the fast cuts, and it was hard to understand what was going on. Plus the bad words just got annoying also.
To clarify.
The purchase of the gun was dissonant: the seller has the immoral tenacity to sell an adolescent a handgun, expressing that he needs the money, yet suddenly has the ethical courage to instruct him not to operate the weapon.
The jumping scene: the provocation, to me, lacked necessary context and the subsequent clash had a nonrhythmic, syncopated direction. Then, the sudden escalation to the profuse stabbing of Pete (19 times as indicted by the customers) felt ivory-towered for lack of a better phrase. If Pete's death was a causal random act of violence to drive toward the ultimate conflict in the end, then why the need for the confrontation scene prior?
Assuming, it was a random act of violence, then one would also intuit the confrontation scene to deal damage to Mark, as it is palpable that Connor is malicious and volatile (If a "fuck off" gave him reason to stab a person to death, then what of a "I'll fucking kill you"?) Also: Mark was angry and combative in the beginning of the encounter, yet when pushed up against the wall, this physicality became nonexistent, almost to necessitate the terse dialogue. And suspiciously terse it was.
The six degrees of separation when Mark is enlightened on who Pete's killer is felt contrived, although I cannot articulate as to why.
The trite, cliched marijuana smoking by a ne'er-do-well with the castigation by a more virtuous relative, followed by indirect repercussions. Nuanced but grossly distinct. ("What would Mom say?")
Most of these gripes can be whisked away by the acknowledgement of the length of the film.
To Cade, and Farhan: I recommend drafting up another short in a similar vein. Instead of relying on direct, terse dialogue and the imperative need to enjoin conflict, try your hands at constructing a more silent, breezing, fleeting picture. One with more grime contrasted with violent speed and melancholy solace. I think you are all on the right track and I'd love to see another production.
Not hating; I just enjoy giving constructive criticism. Cade, Farhan, and Mason did a great job, as they told an entertaining story visually: not an easy task. I commend the rest of the cast and crew as well. Bravo, sirs.
A little tips though, there are lots of shots still feels like a "coverage" type of shot, not of a "Film/Movie" shots..... And most of the times it kills the mood of the story itself... Put some music, or kicks, to make the audience feels the emotion of the character, like for example when he finds out that his brother were killed... Or if you want to make some "silent" type of movie, you have to make the shots "stronger"... Also the cuts between one scene to the other are a little bit raw... Make it more smoother next time.... You can do it by adding extra shots and camera movements... Other than that, I really, really, love the lighting, the grading, and the acting... :D
+Tara Arts Movie Tara You are Awesome!
+Tara Arts Movie belum begitu kerasa banget karakter dalam filmnya, apa mungkin karena keseluruhan tempo tiap scenenya yang agak terlalu cepet? mungkin
+Tara Arts Movie hey tara,, mari lihat shortfilm saya dong and comment, dari malaysia ni..Subs to you bro =)
+Tara Arts Movie have you realize this kid is using a T3i and a a very low budget equipment, not to mention he is probably 19... so yea it was pretty good stuff for a aperture filmmaker,
miftachul rahman ko ingat dier faham ke setan
Needs more CGI
+Jacob Harris and some transformers
and lens flares.
+VG and Michael Bay
+Jacob Harris And cowbell.
explosion bro you need explosions
I've been watching Simon Cade's DSLRguide videos for some time now and I can only stress that this bloke has a fantastic grasp of aesthetics and is constantly learning how to up his game and present his videos in a very professional manner, what let me down about this film is the fact that he overlooked a very simple thing which anyone who has ever owned or shot a gun will know (audiences outside of the UK where real guns are extremely hard to get your hands on will instantly spot it), the gun seller tells him not to load it, but he only handed him a gift wrapped (not very discreet)pistol, implying that the gun already had a loaded magazine inside (there was no second bag or magazine handed over that could contain the bullets with which to load the gun). Later when the first shot was fired and the gun fell to the floor, the slide locked back indicating that the magazine was empty, next shot the slide is once again forward indicating that it was loaded. This ruined the flow and the mood as the illusion of reality was instantly shattered. Fantastic attempt, but Mr. Cade seems to be a man with an eye for detail, which is why I'm surprised that such a glaring detail was overlooked.
Hey Mr. Serpentza!!!! I'm a big fan of your China Videos!!! Stay Awesome!
+Krizx600 Thanks mate! Awesome to see you here!
+serpentza Gun knowledge is woefully inadequate among many. Kudos for your attention to detail.
+serpentza the gun seller what?!
+Jessalyn handed him a single gun shaped package (no possibility for the bullets to be apart from the gun.. hence the gun must have been fully loaded).
Great cinematography! ツ Wish it had been a bit longer though, to maybe understand some decisions of the characters or events better.
+Sven Vee Looking forward to the next one though! :)
"Criticism is easy; Art is difficult." I have a ton of respect for you for starting (and finishing) such a big project, being able to collaborate with so many people, and getting such professional looking results. Definitely an inspiration to me to actually start the projects I've been thinking of. Cheers mate
Excellent cinematography, lighting, color grading, costume.
There's just no story though. It happens way too fast and a whole lot of it doesn't make sense. And half the dialogue is just cussing. Simon, I think you're very talented and love your weekly uploads but you can do so much better than this. So much work put into a four minute film that's full of cussing.
I'd like to see you write a short film and film it, I would definitley want to watch that.
I think swearing is important if it properly represents a culture - and for this, it definitely does - but I agree wholeheartedly with all of your other points.
+Joseph Hitchcock Thank you!
Katie, I get what you're saying. But I did see a story.
If you were tasked to make a 10 minute video about a conversation you overheard, is it possible to create an in depth background to the final events?
And if you had to repeat the conversation in 3 minutes or less, how much "detail" would you leave out to convey the pertinent information?
That's the story I see.
I just know he could have done more. I've seen his genius, I wish he had explored the story more, especially for all the money he and his coworkers spent on the film.
Katie L I too wish it could have been more.
The characters were all begging to tell their stories.
As for my viewing experience, this is the first I've watched of his, so far.
Woah woah, slow down, wait his brother was stabbed, no emotion shown? was this after a few years or something?
CaliberJR exactly. It's like he's finding out for the first time from the two guys in the shop.
Oh what? There is not sense of time passing at all, it feels like the whole film takes place over like, 2 or 3 days.
Simon didn't write it guys, he just did his best to bring it to life the big screen. And he did it wonderfully. As a fellow filmmaker, you'll slowly find out along the way that there will always be someone to not like it and give it a bad review, if it were so simple everybody would do it. So you learn the hard way that you can't let critics influence how you do you. Just keep making masterpieces and live your dream.
1:55 Tune from Indian song - Apni prem kahaniya...
Yeah, loads of Indian diners there
you could have had Chinese actors and called it "Two Wongs"
lol
hahahahah
ESTO I'm sure he's aware of Kaiman Wong
bro that hilarious
ESTO Tu Wongs^
Pros: Fantastic Cinematography, locations, dramatic, gun effect, decent acting, realistic choreography, and good music score.
Cons: Cliche ending, Terrible Dialogue, incomprehensible accent, lack of character connection.
+Zachary Calanté Its suppose to be a Manchester accent, how the hell is it Scottish????????????????????
+Anton Arenko Lol, sorry, DID NOT TAKE AT LOOK THE DESCRIPTION, similar though.
+Zachary Calanté i agree, good points
+Zachary Calanté incomprehensible to you perhaps, not so hard for people who are from England, I understood it perfectly, I guess subtitles would remedy this. Changing the accent would mean killing the authenticity
Yeah, but what foreigners would specifically know a Manchester accent was different.
This is one of the most beautifully shot short films I've seen without it eclipsing the story. Great job!
This is awesome! Love the Cinematography!
I expected a little bit more tbh. Seems like Johann Farhan wasn't able to take his time in creating the story.
Ill agree. It was definitely more of a cinematography showcase film.
#hecouldofjusttoldthepolice
I feel like that is the logical choice that many amateur crime short films gloss over in order to have teh action
He wanted to kill the guy. I don't think that's what the police would have done, so it doesn't seem unrealistic to me.
While you could have told officials, it was less about justice, and more about revenge. It would mean less to him if it was someone else.
*Could have
Not could of
Suspension of disbelief breh
Someone explain to me why that kid didn't shoot the kid he was supposed to shoot. His brothers killer ends up shooting him and ... wasn't the whole point to shoot the brothers killer? So he walks up to the group, shoots the wrong guy once and panic dashes. I'm the moderator of /r/gunandrun and I can say for a fact I would have executed this much better if I were the dude who lost his brother, but no pun intended for 'executed'.
Well, I am the moderator for /r/gunandrun so I guess there was pun intended. Let's get a chain going like this is reddit guys please leave puns lol! Great take care, stay euphoric.
+The K'A Hub there was no rhyme or reason to your comment ...
Ooohhh baby!!
+Color Bars I don't get it either....
What is gunandrun? A subreddit? I couldn't find it.
He shot the wrong person! You could see the person that he shot his face was covered and he had the same jacket as Connor so he thought that was him
+StuffedforLaughs Yeah, but in reality, unless someone is on some serious drugs, if you aren't readily armed, and a friend is blown away in front of you without warning, nobody's natural reaction is to turn and rush the attacker, that's the exact opposite of a realistic situation.
Still better than Transformers.
kurt lindner As moderator of /r/transformers I agree, we have been discussing the lack of actual depth and density to the plot at great length. Stop by some time, I will dust off my Fedora and greet you.
Cheers,
Color Bars
Moderator of /r/Transformers and /r/gunandrun
Maybe it's just me but I'm finding myself more and more preferring the look of older camera's like the t3i and even t2i, maybe I'm crazy but I feel like it actually looks more filmic (when it's done right, like this) I enjoy the look of it and I often find the look of some of the newer 4k mirrorless cameras quite distracting and unrealistic. Great work Simon!
In the words of Connor, I tell those who are hating on Simons video to "Fuck off".
Honestly the shots were amazing in this short film. So what if the story lacked in some areas it was still very entertaining. Not to mention he didn't write the story so get off his back.
Wonderful work here Simon. Keep doing what you do, don't listen to the negativity and you'll go far.
Godspeed to ya.
+Webster C no one's hating, most of the comments are constructive criticism, which will only help Simon
+Webster C no one is even hating. lol
+Webster C Bud, I see no hate anywhere.
Great color grading, acting and I liked the camera angles. But I just found it a bit funny that the bad guy says "say fuck off again I dare you" then the other guy says "I don't want any trouble" and they end up KILLING him anyway. Like wtf.
so they killed that other guy for basically nothing but they let this guy go despite him threatening to kill him 2:15
@@GabzitoHD word, that part made no sense at all.
nice work man! the dolly/stabiliser shots look unreal and awesome acting and locations!
Well of course this video is going to be overanalysed into smithereens.
I agree, art is perfect in its imperfections. instead of overanalyzing the video questions should be asked.
1. what was your vision as an artist?
2. did you feel that you succeeded in articulating it?
and that's if he was coming from a finite place, but we don't know that so someone should probably ask or at least try to interpret.
+BaileysBeads He's built an audience of nothing but filmmakers. What did you expect?
+Ian Cessna This. This is what I did expect.
Fair nuff
+BaileysBeads haha yep! i quite enjoyed it!
God, I remember when this first came out and you were posting the behind the scenes videos. I always thought the critics were wrong and still come back here every so often. Still love the film. Great work!
Frickin hell, the cinematography in this short film is brilliant. As said before the story is kind of to big for a 4 minute film, but wow, great film.
I want to be supportive of the filmmaker as he did a great job technically, but I also want to encourage him and young filmmakers everywhere to think more about creating non-violent films. Using violence to drive a story is an intellectually lazy theatrical device and derivative, particularly nowadays with the likes of Tarantino, etc. making careers out of violence driven story telling.
I challenge you to take the same thought provoking concept, "two wrongs don't make a right" and write a story that delves into and explores the human condition around this topic without the use of any violence, but rather a story/situation that most people actually deal with in their everyday life.
Depending on the script, I'll even help fund it's production.
Story Synopsis: protagonist brother is stabbed to death, he plans to avenge his brother's death. He buys gun for cash on the street. Then confronts the killer taking a shoot at him falling and dropping the gun on the ground. The killer picks up the same gun, chases after the protagonist and shoots him. Did the protagonist die? It appears he must have died.
Realistic plot follows Robert McKee's classic design in the book titled Story. Have you read it?
I mean the editing and cinematography were cool but the story was basic and the characters were not interesting...
The kid got over 300,000 people to watch his short film, and probably over half a mil at some point. Bravo. Opinions are like UA-cam commenters...everyone has one. Keep up the good work.
I recently shot my short film MARIE on my channel using some cheap gear, big thanks to you Simon, helped me out a lot.
I love the tone of this film, the dark feel of the whole thing works great to get the message across but on the other had there were some parts in the story that had me going "wtf why did he do that?"
1) Writing the name "Conor" on the paper, what's the point? its obvious that the main character knows who Conor is since he goes straight to him to confront him and me as an audience didn't even catch the part where Conor name was mentioned before that scene. (maybe I missed it I'm not sure)
2) The Conor confront scene. Conor and his boys beat the brothers ass and stabbed him to death... the main character went in there and said "I'm going to kill you" and Conor goes ahead and says "go ahead and try" and let's him go?! why isn't the main character dead right there and then? in a real life situation he would be dead on the spot easy
3) The shooting scene. The main character comes in and shoots that one guy, has a gun in his had and doesnt use it to defend himself?! so he has the balls to confront Conor with death threats in front of all his boys and can't finish up the job with the people attacking him? that's just sad...
ok well that's the three scenes that bugged me but my favorite scene is when the main character (sorry don't remember his name) goes to buy the gun. I really like how the salesman tells him how there are no refunds but offers him advice, that to me was a great piece to the story.
Anyway love your work Simon hope to see more :)
I'm sorry but 8000£ for this?? I don't see where
exactly my thought...for such a bsic film like this...all you need is a director, actors and sound recordist
anyway..simon has good knowledge of filmaking..
Remember he took the honorably road and paid people for their time and talents. A gutsy move, which I think added to his feelings of purpose during it all.
watching Simon talk about this video and then watching it....I would love to work with such an open and creative young artist. This was dope
Damn! Didn't expect that end. This short film engaged me. Nice work!
So sad film =( But very nice work! Cool!
I think the cinematography is brilliant in this film but acting & script is poor. The story doesn't really give you chance to feel for the characters and the dialogue is pretty weak. Good job though
Harry Walters I'm curious, what exactly about the cinematography do you find to be "brilliant"?
Well, maybe it's not brilliant but it's still very good for a amateur short film.
Royal Panda "good for an amateur" is a dangerous criticism to give. People don't improve when their peers tell them that what they're doing is good enough for where they are. That's how people get complacent.
Royal Panda "good for an amateur" is a dangerous criticism to give. People don't improve when their peers tell them that what they're doing is good enough for where they are. That's how people get complacent.
Sam Valentine On one hand, you're right but on the other... It's good to compliment young creators because that's one reason to keep going. Obviously they do not intend to stay amateur hence they will try to improve.
Just to be one of the guys that doesn't complain about the accents - I can understand everything, actually loving them. Great job on the short mate, keep up the work.
Hi Simon,
Great film!! I am making a film myself too, and I have had some problem with sound recordings. Did you record the sound on location or afterwards? Also, Do you have any resource or advice on film sound? Thank you so much!! How long did it take you to complete the project from A to Z?
+Lynn Eksonyeondan They recorded the sound on location and used a Boom Mic as well as lapel mic's. They then added in wildtrack by recording each separate sound as well as ambiance.
Excellent! the end..... so sad. I my country happens that every day, here die about 25.000 people per year
+Kake Garcia Were are you from?
+Paul “Pauloo's” Lossy Venezuela
Eso es muy triste...
This is now probably one of my favorite short films
Well done Cade. Same to the rest of your team. Costume designer did a great job.
wow, that was just amazing. keep it up!
amazing director, bad story. simon was just given a shitty script to work with, but managed to make it as good as it could be.
well I think it lacked some sharpness.......
Yeah, the story lacked. The directing was okay and editing was good. He did stay on the same shot for a long time on one of the first scenes.
Dankside I think the directing was poor too...
Well done Simon, simple and solid. I get why there are people struggling with this film but I fancy that they will mostly be American and struggling with the accents. We live in a country where buying a gun is a bad move any way you look at it and this highlights just that. Smart move on going short for your first narrative piece, I think it worked well.
damn i wasn't expecting that ending. Great job on this, inspiring me to make my own
Agree with a few of the comments about the story needing some more time to Breathe as it does feel slightly rushed. But some great shots and a really great effort! Loved it
That scene 2:28, he should have stayed at the wall, with an angry face...That would fit more.
He shouldn't had to leave the scene.
Excellent cinematography, lighting, color grading, costume.
The colouring is actually insane!!!! 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
You guys know this is on IMDB. That's pretty dope
Absolutely great, You clearly have an understanding of camera composition, movement, and not letting your visuals over arch the story. Which is a criticism I have of many so called "Short films" on UA-cam, which mostly consist of people walking around with some pretty visuals to go with it, but no story. Now on to criticisms, while I enjoyed the story(another feat which is not often see in online indie film) finding it quick, easy to follow, and stylish. I would've liked to see the Older brother take a moment to reflect on the action he was about to commit, sort of a moment of doubt about killing those men, other then that, i think you have a lot of talent, (:
R.I.P ALL casualitis of streets.good films
I think a lot of people are missing the point to Simons film. He highlights how important good cinematography and mise en scene can create a world within 4 minutes and leaves you wondering all of the backstory. As he says every shot should propel the story forward and have a driving purpose.
They spent $11000 for this above average short film
u serious? where does it say that? and why so much?
wtf? what makes you say $11K?
Watched it 3 times and I can say I gained more of an understanding of the plot from the second time watching. Very well done and the story was quite impacting, however I do have some comments.
I found for the amount of meaning within the storyline, you quite rushed the plot. In my preference, to make the story flow seamlessly, I would have made it longer and less rushed with slower, calmer scenes in-between and after the dialogue where the audience could grasp what was happening. I found you jumped into the storyline very quickly without much backstory and the short film was just a snippet from a movie. There were many characters involved which I felt was necessary for the storyline to connect, however in such a short space of time it was hard to understand and gain a relationship with the different characters, which would make it more impacting onto the viewer.
Otherwise, exceptional film with amazing cinematic shots and definitely a distinctive style!! You will go far!! Can't wait for more short films of yours!!
The ad was better than the actual short.
This was excellent. excellent cinematography, lighting, costumes, setting. Good story. 10/10
omg i love this omg you should make actual movies
This is an actual movie.
Lawrence Rhodes I meant as in feature films
It needs subtitles. Anyone from the U.S. is going to say, "What did they just say?" (Only a small, "Ha-ha" in there...)
Well.... I`m not native speaker but I understood everything..... And you if you need subtitles, you can always turn on UA-cam`s subtitles.
Simon should have put it up in a Film Festival. I do feel the story can be expanded a little bit. Also it has a potential to be a feature.
Well done to everyone involved in this short film!! Kudos for a brilliant job done!
Sincerely
Muzafar
It's the time for a long movie man. Cmon!
I have to say that I was dissapointed. I feel like you know theory a lot but practice isn't there. Too short, editing was slow, shots were out of focus and all you just say about story, location and insert shots on your main channel isn't represented here.
Sorry but I was expecting much more.
My thoughts on your film (if you're interested):
Firstly, I have to respect you for making a film in the first place. I'm a big fan of your other channel and therefore know you're only 18 (sorry if I sound condescending here). As someone who has made films, I know the enormous amount of effort, both physical and emotional, that it takes to make a movie and I have to respect you for that.
Okay, now onto the actual film...
I thought the cinematography, colour grading and location-scouting were all excellent. As someone else said in the comments, each place has a certain character to it. I found this really helped me follow the storyline despite the fact that it involved a lot of location changes within just four minutes. The differing colour-tones of the locations didn't only help to define different parts of the story, but they also reflected and foreshadowed the events of each scene which I liked a lot. I'll give just two examples of where I found this worked well (the are many other examples I don't have time to mention):
Firstly, in the second shot (around 0:10), I thought that the contrast of light blues on the left of the screen and the darker oranges of the right-hand side may have reflected the moral debate going on within the scene. The guy on the left ("Mark", I think) was the archetypal "good" character, trying to persuade his brother away from the "bad" temptations of smoking, thus, his backdrop was a light blue. Contrastingly however, Pete's friends, who were perhaps pressuring him somewhat into smoking with them, were shown on a dark orange background, maybe to reflect the potential danger of following their influence. It was as though Pete had to choose between the light and dark side of the shot.
Secondly, I love the use of such an orange colour-palette from 3:05 onwards. Not only is it very visually pleasing but, with red having such strong connotations of blood and gore, I think it foreshadows the violence that is about to occur.
I don't mean to tell you about you're own film btw, I'm just commenting on what it meant to me.
Moving onto the story, I thought it was an impressively good example of structure despite the very short length of the film. There's a clear inciting incident (Pete's murder), then the rising tension can be seen as Mark gets into a fight with Connor and buys a gun. The climax is reached when Connor shoots Mark, after which the descending action is almost non-existent as the film ends on the adrenaline-high of the climax (an excellent choice in my opinion). Each scene was clearly structured, often with an establishing shot followed by moving the camera further in. Each scene was also clearly distinct from the next one due to the use of short black gaps between shots. I thought the use of structure was good; it made the whole story easy to understand and follow.
That said, I thought the actual content of the story was fairly dull. It was a cliche tale of revenge through violence, one that I've seen before and will see again. I understand that this is partly because the concept of revenge is an easy one to grasp and provides characters with simple, understandable goals however I feel that writing stories for a supposedly stupid audience tends to result in uninteresting stories. Having said that, I doubt much more complexity could be fitted into a four-minute film.
I've only commented on two aspects of the movie here and neither in great depth. Given the time, I would happily go on to discuss your use of camera-movement, shot composition, sound-mixing, music, casting etc... However, seen as this is but a mere UA-cam comment, I'll write up a little conclusion below and leave it at this...
In conclusion, I would say that this is a textbook example of a "correct" film. I can't fault it, but nor can I say there's anything novel about it. That is however, by no means a form of criticism. Not only is it very difficult to make a film as well-executed as this one, I believe that it is necessary to be able to make "correct" film before going on to make much riskier, more experimental films. As Picasso himself said, "learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist".
May I also add that, for what it's worth, I'd be very happy to provide you with some free help (even just as a runner) on your next film(s). Being only 15, I am neither as experienced nor as skilled as you are, however, I have worked on professional film-sets and in production companies before and have made my own films. It's just an offer, not a request, so take it as you will. :-)
+Isaac Blanc Apologies if my criticism came over as a little abrasive, I did really enjoy the film!
+Isaac Blanc Well said! Excellent criticism
Mr. S Thank you
can you give some of your thought on my short at my channel bro? +Isaac Blanc
just need some opinion ..its called " The Game of Life".
Beautiful composition, colors, and cinematography... I just feel that this should be longer
Damn I wish this was a full production. Like an hour plus man it would be really good
So good Simon! Love it! You've put so much hard work into this! It looks so professional. :)
About the film: Simon, why would he just drop the gun and leave it there so one of the bad guys could grab it and shoot him. The film was fine, well shot, but you can't force the ending like that.
Love the sound effects!! 2:32 - feels so real!! great job simon.
In my opinion, everything was great. It took me a while to find the message, but all the cinematography was excellent. Great Job!
Dialogues/story was a bit weak, but the rest is pretty good. You have lots of knowledge on how to do films and you can definetly do something great. Just have to work on better dialogues/story. Looking foward to see your next film!
man this film got no emotions in it
The best advice ever given, but not taken!
Dialogue was realistic and the look of the film had a great variety of tones. I do agree with others that the plot happened so quickly that there wasn't enough time to feel invested in the characters; however, I believe this is a excellent step in the right direction for you!
Seemed a bit rushed, bit overall pretty good.
Heavy but tonally good, wouldn't of minded it being a good bit longer! Show the weight of brother getting in with the wrong people, and then the time for grief. But did like it! Well done
I like this short film. What I find particularly beautiful is: a) the scene, where the knife grabbed attention of the audience without a close up; b) the scene in the kebab cafe (apart from the smooth blocking I like the line with the chili sauce and the way the close-up shot is made at that point, which was kinda over the shoulder or over the face of another guy. I like how camera moved in sync with the guys who were leaving the cafe and up to the close up of the note with the name Connor on it). And yeah, I dunno why but I really like how abruptly and the scenes merge into one another and how roughly they were put together during the editing, it adds some anxiety into the film.
"Don't mess with this shit! It'll mess your life up!"
"Uh, it's just weed, dude... Fuck off."
Footage seems soft...other than that, wonderful production!
I felt like it was rush, everything happened all too quick. Good short still!
I really liked that, have watched it twice now! I watch your weekly vids religiously and have learnt a lot from them; great to see your film work, too. You're a ballsy bloke as well as hard working and highly talented. Keep it up Simon!
Fucking amazing! I saw the production film first and then the final result. You guys did an excellent job for a low budget movie.
i still cant believe that i actually own a canon 600d that can shoot movie like this... everytime i record my video, they end up looking like being recorded with a potato.. sigh
ZenithZephyroth same here. what do we do wrong?
Stefanie M
Hi, canon 600d is a good camera for movies... if u do the things right.. to make it look like a cinema camera, u have to light up well your scenes(watch the conjuring 1 and 2, the perfect example), use camera movement and angles used in Hollywood, buy a stabilizer, a good mic, get good acting performances, shoot it in 24 frames per second, learn how to color correct and grade like hollywood movies without losing information in shadows and highlights(99% of hollywood movies use orange and yellow tones in the sunny days, cold colors in the cloudy days, and blues in the white ambiences, at night use orange table lamps style tones, contrasted with some loose white or blue light), use bright lenses, like the rokinon 16 mm f/2.2, and u will get a result like this with a canon 600d, most of the scenes are gonna look like a real movie, but a few ones will be almost impossible to get it, cause of the dynamic range of the canon, but u should get good results in average, greetings.
wow thank you very much! thats a real good description! are there any recommended tutorials on UA-cam for colorgrading? and can you recommend a cutting programm?
Stefanie M
No thank u! u really seem a nice person! :) there's no problem, mmm I haven't seen any PROFESSIONAL PROFESSIONAL tutorial about good color grading, just amateurs, everyone "teaches" how to color correct but they make so many mistakes! The best advice I can give you is that u learn to do it by yourself, having a picky eye and be very discerning on images and tutorials, you should try to imitate movies looks in some softwares like Adobe premiere 2015 or 2017, those are good programs to edit and color grading, I can give u some examples of movies with excellent photography for u to try to imitate the look, for example, Annabelle 2 trailer, Breathe trailer, Inception, whiplash, I am legend, Interstellar, It 2017 trailer, those movies and trailers are easy to get to use them as an example to colour your videos, I will let u some tutorials that will hep u a little bit ua-cam.com/video/CxzQMoiUsaQ/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/yV7P6sqwIg0/v-deo.html
ua-cam.com/video/-O3XrVguE5s/v-deo.html
XD
wtf just happened..? but nice vid :D
why is the whole film not sharp on 1080p???
Well done Simon!
Obviously a lot of work put into this film. It invokes a feeling which captures your audience and makes them want to know more! Keep working, you will be great.
Using F bombs every 3 seconds in a scene is lazy writing.
Still like the film Simon. Love your work! So good good at grading.
Dont let idiots use guns....
Obviously some work needed, a lot of people gave some really good advice below. But the thing I liked the most is how the ending action never felt too intense, it wasn't like you were in fear of anything. You knew what was going to happen and it was less a feeling of exhilaration and more of dread. Like the style.
Excellent work guys! Excellent...didn't see that ending coming at all! I got turned on to you guys on the SDLR Guide channel then watched this.....keep it up!