"I used to be a little boy so old in my shoes." Over 20 years old and still makes me cry. Your poetry deserves more credit, Billy. Your pain will carry on forever. Thank you for this and for everything you've gifted to the world. We are eternally grateful. Correction...30 years. Wow!
The absolute most beautiful song about an abusive childhood anyone ever wrote. I was blessed with wonderful parents, but I know plenty of people who weren’t so fortunate, and I know plenty of kids today struggle to balance their innocence and innate love with the harsh reality of those who should love and protect them most. Kudos to Corgan for capturing it so poignantly in this song.
🎶Disarm you with a smile And cut you like you want me to Cut that little child Inside of me and such a part of you Ooh, the years burn Ooh, the years burn I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what I choose is my choice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone Ooh, the years burn Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what I choose is my voice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you
Chad Noyes get off this video and listen to some artists that you enjoy. I’m being nice and it’s taking all I have to not be a typical asshole behind a keyboard so please 🤐
what does that have to do w this song? and why would it be a 'sacrifice' to not abuse your kids? this song isnt about growing up poor but about emotional abuse.
I know exactly what you meant and I appreciate it. Your kind words made my day. Trying not to pass down to much of your own suffering is harder than people know.
My favorite song from them. Grew up in a very abusive home and struggle with depression. However I have a son and refuse to repeat my father's mistakes!
@@debramorrison79 I'm glad you and your father built a bond after the abuse. Unfortunately my dad never changed and the last time I spoke to him he cussed at me repeatedly over a simple problem. He's never apologized for the years of abuse and he has said he never will, believing he was fair because he wasn't harder on any one of us more than the others (3 kids).
I hum this song everyday... I have DISARM tattooed across my chest. The Pumpkins saved my life. I'm 51 now and are forever grateful for this band. Still listening today & still getting goosebumps. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing. I absolutely love everything about this song and can't even explain how this song seems to hit deeper and deeper with each time I listen..which is A lot! I found this song a little later than some (I'll be 40 this year ahhh) and still feel the age I was when I heard this the first time and when life was beating me down. Things have gotten worse since, Guess life is still beating me up.....but it can't hold me down.
@@deadinsidex3 that's so unusual because I feel the same way! I still remember watching this video on MTV and recording it off the radio on cassette..what I wouldn't give to find those fu*kin tapes😂 I too feel the same. I'm not sure that's a good or bad thing.
Smashing Pumpkins were my ultimate band during my teenage rock phase. Being an Asian American kid, I had never seen an Asian rock star and so I kind of idolized James Iha.
This is one of the best song's of the 1990s. I was 23 when the song was released. It gave me chills to know that we as humans can do to each other and can be subjected to as a child,, such as childhood trauma of abuse or neglect, parental dysfunction from emotional distance or harmful behavior that could be passed down through generations; Masking the pain behind a smile, but having a glimmer of hope to heal when "I send this smile over to you." Now, at 53, 30 years later, it still has the same affect. It's melonchaly, yet beautiful song. One of the best ever from the Smashing Pumpkins.. The tubular bells and cello are a magnificant touch!
Billy Corgan's range as a composer is nothing short of astonishing. He can write the angriest, bilious songs, but also sad, melancholy, introspective chefs-d'oeuvre in the same breath. He can lean composition on any kind of guitar, or a piano, or strings like here. He can let Jimmy Chamberlin do fireworks on drums, or else replace him with a rhythm machine. At any rate, the tapestry of SP's masterpieces is marked by emotional profundity and maturity, and unapologetic ability to live a rich inner life and feel the full range of emotions and spiritual experiences. Even thematically, the range is startling. From powerful songs about childhood and adolescence, such as Disarm, all the way to mournful reflections on death and loss, such as For Martha. Always amazing to rediscover the mighty Pumpkins.
IL be 40 in July my mom would have been 64 in July, she ended her own life In September, this song reminds of the good times and the bad , depression is such a heavy burden to carry , I have a lil girl as well , trying to stay strong for her ! Love the pumpkins makes it easier to deal knowing I'm not one only feels these feelings
I’m 32 and I deal with depression, insomnia, anxiety and manic episodes from my SA as a child. It def take a toll on our bodies, years down the road. I’m here cheering you on. You got this. You’re worth it and you’re loved. Keep on keepin on. There will be moments when we need to stop and just let the emotions and feelings do their thing. ❤❤
I remember during my college days I was working security for a Lolapalooza concert and I really wasn't into rock music at all, so I really didn't enjoy almost any band or song that I heard nearly all day. But I finished my shift right when the sun was setting and as I was walking toward the parking lot to my car the Smashing Pumpkins started playing this song. I couldn't even see them playing but I had to stop and listen. I stood all alone on a path behind the stadium and I just listened until the song finished. I heard a very powerful message in this song and I didn't know who the Smashing Pumpkins were at the time but I certainly know who they are now.
I dedicate this song to my mom. 25 years into life and I'm still coping with the dysfunction of my childhood. The pain in his voice is the pain I feel on a daily basis. I know that she was unknowingly repeating a pattern but looking at my children I could never put them through the pain she put me through and think I'm a good parent..
I feel the same about my father, who passed in 2019. I now have three boys of my own. They're a blessing to me and I'm trying to be everything to them my father never was to me.
I'm a father of three children... I get this. A lot. My father was the meanest person I knew. My mother was too weak.. scared? idk... she turned a blind eye. I'm a good father though. I know I am.
Disarm you with a smile And cut you like you want me to Cut that little child Inside of me and such a part of you Ooh, the years burn I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what i choose is my choice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone Ooh, the years burn Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what I choose is my voice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you
Disarm you with a smile And cut you like you want me to Cut that little child Inside of me and such a part of you Ooh, the years burn Ooh, the years burn I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what I choose is my choice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone Ooh, the years burn Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what I choose is my voice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you
ducktravisty louisiana not really more about how Billy hated his parents for making him feel like less than he was. The lyrics “cut that little child” show this most with the little child being Billy and the people cutting him being his parents.
ducktravisty louisiana His father was a drug dealer that had bad times with the mob in Chicago, he married a woman who abused Billy. He’s not this “sensitive snowflake” type that everyone thinks, his childhood was really fucked up.
Our scars, bumps and bruises make us who we are. Hate to be a dick, but without these life experiences would we have these ki k ass jams? It saddens me to know what billy went through, but at the same time....these tough times gave us these jams!
As someone living with depression, I'm listening to all the songs I listened to around the time of my diagnosis many years ago. A lot has changed since then, but these songs never will. They are a constant. The feelings the evoke will always be the same. Life goes on, and I won't say it gets better quickly because that cannot be applied to everyone, but even at your lowest you're still worth more than the things you tell yourself.
As someone who also has had severe depression all my life, inattentive ADHD, and generalized anxiety… Yes. When I look back at where I was emotionally even just 5 years ago let alone 30 years ago in the 90s, it’s like night and day. I never realize just how much work went into getting to this point until I try to explain it to people. Then the realization of just how bad it was and all the trauma that any normal person would never tolerate hits me like a bag of bricks to the head. I’m horrified by the place I was at mentally at that time and I’m so grateful I’m not there anymore. I’m proof that it takes an incredible amount of work and patience, but it can be done. Somewhere, somehow there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm 72 1/2 and I can relate to this big time. I tried to avoid things I encountered when I raised my kids and helped with grandkids. The grands trust me helping with and baby sitting the great grands who are 2, 3, and 4. They say it's like having them in the care of a loving human pit bull due to my military record and similar civilian protective occupations.
I don't think he knew how beautiful his voice is. I know he must've heard it thousands of times but... my word...he haunts me still after twenty five years
I'll never outgrow the Pumpkins. I'm 58. I haven't heard this song in probably 10 years but it feels like just last week that I was driving around the Bay Area, blasting Siamese Dream....
I'm 17 again, playing my guitar and singing Disarm from the very depth of my inner adolescent vulnerability. I'm 40 now... Always going back in time when I hear this song.
To think these songs are nearing their 3rd decade in age... songs like this are what make you realize its not just nostalgia making you think things are good. We all had such genuinely great music growing up.
The 90s were incredible for music. 😵 I'm primarily a Death/Black Metal listener, but I also loved a lot of Grunge and Alternative Rock when I was a teenager back then… I make it a point to never love something solely based on "nostalgia", so I totally agree with you. This was excellent music back then and it's even better now with age! 💀
Holy crap, it's been like 30 years since I heard this song. I'm on a nostalgic bender lately and wow, this song is making me teary eye. Beautiful song.
theres something truly empowering yet heartbreaking about this song and how hes choosing to no longer let his trauma hold him back. hes proving he will not continue a cycle and will not let his parents torment him any longer. he chose happiness and that is beautiful and heart wrenching
@@hunnedproofproductions5529 Disarm could've been easily a track on Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness, only Disarm was years ahead of Tonight, Tonight. That's why I feel it's their best ever. I'd agree that Mellon Collie was the SP's best album though. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Smashing_Pumpkins_discography#Studio_albums
One of those songs that just keeps sounding better and better no matter how often or rarely you hear it. Hopefully this time I'll actually memorize the title!
This song takes me back... For those readers between the ages of 12-20... really listen to music you like... when you are old (like me) the music will make you feel things that photos and videos won't about your old days.
This song is so painful... Disarm you with a smile And cut you like you want me to Cut that little child Inside of me and such a part of you Ooh, the years burn I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what i choose is my choice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone Ooh, the years burn Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what I choose is my voice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you My love I send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you The killer in me is the killer in you Send this smile over to you
+Simeon Petkov I think this is the most autobyographical song by Billie Corgan, since he admitted to have been victim of abuses during his childhood... very sad, indeed. But i love this song.
+Carolina Ricarte Not as painful as an ad before each and every fucking Pumpkins VEVO song. Disarm VEVO. Despite all my rage for this cunt channel, I am still just a rat in a CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!
2:40 when the full orchestra comes crashing down gives me goosebumps. What a powerful song. A ocean of poetry. Thank you! The orchestras are what set this band apart from others
I love seeing the sky in black and white like in this video because the sky is so unique. Every second might be a totally new sky that hasn't existed forever. This video was recorded somewhere in 1993 and I'd like to think that, in that day I gazed upon the sky and saw the same sky as is in the video and thought to myself how beautiful the sky was. I'm so drunk and nostalgic right now.
@@ChristopherSaindon wow my brother who showed me smashing pumpkins when I was 8 is in college to be a meteorologist. He says he's gonna chase storms in Oklahoma.
Ahhh me listening to this on repeat after my alcoholic dad and drug addicted mom put me through a seemingly endless hell. As sad as I was to be alone by 12, I was happy they were gone. Thanks music, you never left. And I'm forever thankful.
This song brings back the feelings of your traumatic childhood but somehow soothes those feelings at the same time. It is a strange, sad, and beautiful sensation. This song is a wonderful piece of artistic expression.
This song should be used to start movies dealing with abuse or just suicidal related movies.such a powerful message in this song wish Smashing Pumkins still made music like this.
I'm glad I've had such a dark, hard and challenging life, it's made me who I am today and I'm proud of who I am today. No one can ever bring me down anymore because I see through people now. They're weak and I'm strong. Nasty weak people are scared of people like me. Be proud of who you are today!! xxx
This just might be the Pumpkin's greatest song ever written. The emotion from Corgon combined with the simple yet direct lyrics cut right through you to the very core. The instrumentation is beautiful too, with that strange ability to evoke pain yet assuage it at the same time. I often think that it feels more at home on Mellon Collie than on Siamese Dream.
To all the Punk kids who were young adults being rewarded with what was this music. I remember this playing in 92 or 93 at McDonald's putting my baby on the counter and having some old witch tell me off lol
Yeah he was definitely 1 of the best songwriters have all the time It is voice but so unique They'll never be another lake him ever They'll never be another like him ever again smashing pumpkins or 1 of my favorite bands ever out there would like Linkin park
@@jacobrobinson4444 I think he wrote a couple but the one I was referring to was "Forget It". I believe he also wrote the lyrics to "Rain" but I won't swear to that.
Only song known to bring me back to that dark room. Reflecting to still heal while forgiveness becomes so hard to let go! I hope your inner-child finds peace 🕊️
this is literally one of the greatest songs ever (1979, and thirty-three, and TODAY, and Ava Adore, and "Eye" from the lost highway soundtrack) are all great too, but this one...this is it for me
Such a haunting masterpiece of a song. His voice--I honestly cannot imagine anyone else singing this and conveying the haunting, melanchonic pain that he does. No one else should ever cover this song.
Agreed. To this day, the band, especially Billy, have a great respect for orchestras and classical music that is unmatched by any other band in their caliber that I can think of.
When I hear this song I remember laying on my bed listening to this entire album on CD and flicking through the liner notes. It was such a magical experience. Even then I knew I would always remember that time in my life when I was 14 and hearing all this amazing music for the first time.
This melody is beautiful. I did not appreciate the Smashing Pumpkins enough in the late 90s as I should have. It was just another one of many different and "indie" bands playing on MTV. Now I see their sound stood the test of time.
I’ve loved SP from the beginning, just digging their sounds and rocking out and then all these decades later, I see so many comments from people my age saying that SP saved their life. This brings tears to my eyes and I completely understand. I’m so glad you’re here today, so we can keep enjoying the music together.
Romy, you're so lucky! i was born in 95 and honestly don't remember anything from the 90s. other than looking back on old baby toddler photos and reminscing...
Allusice prior to 2000 is heaven....grunge, new wave, punk, heavy metal, stadium rock..all produced legends... Now the music industry produces shame and shlt.....
No songs ever hit me on an emotional feeling as hard as this one has. Divorce and child abuse is my childhood, and it still hurts. Even though I'm pretty much grown up now. I'm never putting my kid through the shit my dad put me through. The only thing he ever taught me was what type of parent and husband to not be.
This is music at its greatest. I remember being a teen waiting for this to play daily on MTV so I could recapture the joy I felt everytime I heard this. Absolutely beautiful.
When I was 5 years old this song was a very important piece of music to me. I didn't know how to express my feelings or how I could feel so lonely and abandoned by my parents right inside of my home. I didn't understand, I used to listen to this song on a cassette Walkman and it was my comforter. Years later I find out this is exactly what Billy wrote the song about. Words cant express my gratitude!
This is one of his best songs, I'm very proud I've covered it because the songs is like personal to me. The lyrics just get to you, very powerful. It's a sad story of his younger abusive life.
Me tooooooo!!! And there were no mobile phones yet, so nobody could fucking know where you were!!! 😂😂😂 The last generation who actually knew the meaning of words like FREEDOM! And bands like SP, with songs like this, remember that wonderful feeling.
He literally is. He wrote some sort of musical aptitude test when he was 14 and scored so high on it that they thought he cheated so they made him rewrite it and he got an even higher score then the first time!🤘
'the years burn. Oooo...the years burn'. I have pondered over this verse for the last 30 years. And as ive gotten older. Each year goes by faster & faster. Almost 'burning up in flames' fast. The last 20 years have been a blur, but never a dull moment & neir a regret. 'the years burn'. Rock on. 🎸❤️🎸
This song impacts me as much today in 2024 as when I first heard it in 1994. Timeless song.
I'm thinking too. The whole Adore hey ??
Still burns , killer me is the killer in you- send this smile over to U
This is so good but you must hear “The Wave” or “Whispering Wolf” by SLT 🤘🐺🎶🐺🤘
Its a powerful song for sure. One of my favourites from these
I feel the same
"I used to be a little boy so old in my shoes." Over 20 years old and still makes me cry. Your poetry deserves more credit, Billy. Your pain will carry on forever. Thank you for this and for everything you've gifted to the world. We are eternally grateful.
Correction...30 years. Wow!
And I still have no idea what that means. :)
@@AintNobodyAtAll it means he was forced to grow up quickly.
Heart wrenching.. just having kids and we all growing up so fast.. that alone is confusing
My late husband would play this on repeat. Today is his 2 month anniversary of his passing and I have been listening to his favorite songs all day
I'm so very to hear of your loss. My sympathies go out to you.
My condolences, friend. ❤
this is so sad ...all my thoughts go to you. xx
Sending you lots of love.
I’m sorry for your loss
I'm 62, and this song still breaks my heart every time.
Me 2❤😢😊
I'm 63 and I'm right there with you.
I’m 65 and just now finding out how dark they were. In plain sight.
Same
🖤🥹🤘🥹🖤
The absolute most beautiful song about an abusive childhood anyone ever wrote. I was blessed with wonderful parents, but I know plenty of people who weren’t so fortunate, and I know plenty of kids today struggle to balance their innocence and innate love with the harsh reality of those who should love and protect them most. Kudos to Corgan for capturing it so poignantly in this song.
🎶Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
This is one of those songs where when it came out you thought it was a good one, but many years later, you really appreciate how truly great it is.
Now let's see Paul Allen's take.
I agree!!!You took my thoughts and said them PERFECT...the lyrics come clear and make the song complete
I killed Paul Allen and I liked it.
0:57 😮 1:04 1:07 😮😮😮
You got it exactly right, baby!!!!!
One of the best songs on one of the greatest albums of all time.
This is so haunting - those tubular bells make this song really stand out and the strings complete it's perfection.
You don't need to be young to appreciate brilliance. I'm 68 and I love this to death.
young to appreciate?? this music is old af
Some dark memories of boyhood never leave us. What's a boy supposed to do?
Even Gene Simmons offered his appreciation for this band and Billy Corgans work, stay safe no matter how old you are
@@dennisvdz2157 well the man did say he is 68
Billy Corgan is like 54...yall are the same age 😂
Billy Corgan's voice is like paper, it's fragile but sharp.
Chad Noyes get off this video and listen to some artists that you enjoy.
I’m being nice and it’s taking all I have to not be a typical asshole behind a keyboard so please 🤐
He will papercut you like you want him too.
@@chadnoyes2240 Wrong!
Here's 20 bucks. Eat mine.
Chad Noyes you’re right man... Pumpkins suck... but only like Primus sucks!!!
musical genius
I salute all parents who sacrifice to ensure their children have better childhoods than they themselves had. You are my heroes. 💕
what does that have to do w this song? and why would it be a 'sacrifice' to not abuse your kids? this song isnt about growing up poor but about emotional abuse.
I know exactly what you meant and I appreciate it. Your kind words made my day. Trying not to pass down to much of your own suffering is harder than people know.
Thank you I love this comment 💓
Also, ensure they listen to the smashing pumpkins. 😀
What a beautiful thing to say. I don't know you but that statement has moved me. Don't listen to the haters ♥️♥️
My favorite song from them. Grew up in a very abusive home and struggle with depression. However I have a son and refuse to repeat my father's mistakes!
Don’t your son is your pride in life I was once a little boy and a son. Issues don’t change a love from a father.
Do your own thing bro , leave it behind
@@debramorrison79 I'm glad you and your father built a bond after the abuse. Unfortunately my dad never changed and the last time I spoke to him he cussed at me repeatedly over a simple problem. He's never apologized for the years of abuse and he has said he never will, believing he was fair because he wasn't harder on any one of us more than the others (3 kids).
Good for you in not repeating the destructive behaviour.
Having depression is an an ace score, which means you're already repeating the cycle of trauma.
I wish you the best.
To everyone who is listening to this song growing up feeling like they were unwanted: I love you. Your existence is very much needed on this earth.
Thank you ❤
Dang ❤
🖤🖤
❤
Thank you, darling.
I love you all so very much too.
You are special and you were meant to be.
Exactly as you are.
This entire album reminds me of my late husband. It was ours.
RIP Chad you are so loved and never forgotten.
So sorry for your loss! I take it he was young?
@@craiglambert2131 yes, far too young. And thank you Craig for your kindness.
@@Phoenix_blue You're welcome.
I hum this song everyday... I have DISARM tattooed across my chest. The Pumpkins saved my life. I'm 51 now and are forever grateful for this band. Still listening today & still getting goosebumps. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing. I absolutely love everything about this song and can't even explain how this song seems to hit deeper and deeper with each time I listen..which is A lot! I found this song a little later than some (I'll be 40 this year ahhh) and still feel the age I was when I heard this the first time and when life was beating me down. Things have gotten worse since, Guess life is still beating me up.....but it can't hold me down.
Right on. You chose a pretty solid band to help you get through it all. Keep pushing forward.
@@deadinsidex3 that's so unusual because I feel the same way! I still remember watching this video on MTV and recording it off the radio on cassette..what I wouldn't give to find those fu*kin tapes😂 I too feel the same. I'm not sure that's a good or bad thing.
I get the Tingle's also
Billy hammered out so many great songs during their reign. Incredible musician through and through. This is definitely one of the best
This song is among the greatest of all time
Not really
@@trystrammmm explain why
@@trystrammmm habla seria jovencita
truf :)
Yes
Smashing Pumpkins were my ultimate band during my teenage rock phase. Being an Asian American kid, I had never seen an Asian rock star and so I kind of idolized James Iha.
Tommy Chong.... Not a rock star, but definitely an icon
I hope you got a guitar in that phase.
chino moreno? Kim Thayil
@@chip9649 oh yeah,i forgot that india is in europe,my bad
James iha inspiring the band went through troubling times and he went to apc and absolutely destroyed
This is one of the best song's of the 1990s. I was 23 when the song was released. It gave me chills to know that we as humans can do to each other and can be subjected to as a child,, such as childhood trauma of abuse or neglect, parental dysfunction from emotional distance or harmful behavior that could be passed down through generations; Masking the pain behind a smile, but having a glimmer of hope to heal when "I send this smile over to you."
Now, at 53, 30 years later, it still has the same affect. It's melonchaly, yet beautiful song. One of the best ever from the Smashing Pumpkins.. The tubular bells and cello are a magnificant touch!
Amen, friend.
This song is hauntingly beautiful
Well put. The rhythm alone captivated me and pointed me to the pumpkins
This is like the anthem song for all of us who grew up in a way that required us to basically raise ourselves.
Hell ya, the kids these days are so lost. If shitt ever hit the fan they'll be done
@@cheeseymccheese7249shit is going to hit the fan and we will be fucked
@@ramennoodler100 Couldn't have put it better myself XD
cheesey the generation before you probably said the same thing
@@brazydaze69 When they gave us a key to the front door at 6 and expected us to find our own way home after school.
Billy Corgan's range as a composer is nothing short of astonishing. He can write the angriest, bilious songs, but also sad, melancholy, introspective chefs-d'oeuvre in the same breath. He can lean composition on any kind of guitar, or a piano, or strings like here. He can let Jimmy Chamberlin do fireworks on drums, or else replace him with a rhythm machine. At any rate, the tapestry of SP's masterpieces is marked by emotional profundity and maturity, and unapologetic ability to live a rich inner life and feel the full range of emotions and spiritual experiences. Even thematically, the range is startling. From powerful songs about childhood and adolescence, such as Disarm, all the way to mournful reflections on death and loss, such as For Martha. Always amazing to rediscover the mighty Pumpkins.
I was abused as child. Now am 47. Dealing with anxiety, insomnia. But i have to stay strong, i have baby girl now to raise up in a proper way. 💪🙏❤️
No matter the day, the time I will be here for you 🥹
IL be 40 in July my mom would have been 64 in July, she ended her own life In September, this song reminds of the good times and the bad , depression is such a heavy burden to carry , I have a lil girl as well , trying to stay strong for her ! Love the pumpkins makes it easier to deal knowing I'm not one only feels these feelings
@@MsLetisu contact?
The fact that you strive to be better for the sake of your child already makes you a better person than your parents
I’m 32 and I deal with depression, insomnia, anxiety and manic episodes from my SA as a child. It def take a toll on our bodies, years down the road. I’m here cheering you on. You got this. You’re worth it and you’re loved. Keep on keepin on. There will be moments when we need to stop and just let the emotions and feelings do their thing. ❤❤
2021 and this song still feels fresh as it did in the 90's. God bless the smashing pumpkins.
She can't eat the hall boat can she +++++++++!()
Update, it still hits hard in 2022
the live concert is even better 😊
God is fake
💯❣️✨
I remember during my college days I was working security for a Lolapalooza concert and I really wasn't into rock music at all, so I really didn't enjoy almost any band or song that I heard nearly all day. But I finished my shift right when the sun was setting and as I was walking toward the parking lot to my car the Smashing Pumpkins started playing this song. I couldn't even see them playing but I had to stop and listen. I stood all alone on a path behind the stadium and I just listened until the song finished. I heard a very powerful message in this song and I didn't know who the Smashing Pumpkins were at the time but I certainly know who they are now.
Cool
Amazing
Nice memory bro
It literally "disarm"ed you... stopped you in your tracks. Cool story. I'm glad you had that experience.
That’s awesome ... thanks for sharing that memory
I dedicate this song to my mom. 25 years into life and I'm still coping with the dysfunction of my childhood. The pain in his voice is the pain I feel on a daily basis. I know that she was unknowingly repeating a pattern but looking at my children I could never put them through the pain she put me through and think I'm a good parent..
I feel the same about my father, who passed in 2019. I now have three boys of my own. They're a blessing to me and I'm trying to be everything to them my father never was to me.
38 and same 🥴
Breaking the patern. Not the easy way but we can do it. We ARE doing it!
I'm a father of three children... I get this. A lot. My father was the meanest person I knew. My mother was too weak.. scared? idk... she turned a blind eye.
I'm a good father though. I know I am.
You are.
Forgive her and you'll see how peaceful you will live.
one of the most beautiful/brilliant songs
It's got to be one of the greatest songs of all time. It's so incredibly intense musically and lyrically.
Ya I mean like you could have a circle of djembe drums or something is like the constant strumming represents a large group of affected people.
Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what i choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
This song hit hard when I was teenager. It’s hitting really hard in my 40s😞
❤
Same
I agree I grew up on this song. And it is still so good even in my 40s.
Me too.
Gonna hit 40 in January & i feel you bro
Going to watch the Pumpkins tonight, Disarm is definitely on the setlist. I'll probably cry when they play it.
Just saw them too but on the last night of Saviors tour, I cried! Unbelievable show!!!
This song hits on deeper levels blasting in headphones and looking out into the ocean watching the waves crashing… yes my favorite past time
Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
ducktravisty louisiana not really more about how Billy hated his parents for making him feel like less than he was.
The lyrics “cut that little child” show this most with the little child being Billy and the people cutting him being his parents.
@ducktravisty louisiana billies parents divorced when he was young.he had a abusive stepmother primarily what the song is about
ducktravisty louisiana His father was a drug dealer that had bad times with the mob in Chicago, he married a woman who abused Billy. He’s not this “sensitive snowflake” type that everyone thinks, his childhood was really fucked up.
Sam with a smile ka you wont ha
Our scars, bumps and bruises make us who we are. Hate to be a dick, but without these life experiences would we have these ki k ass jams? It saddens me to know what billy went through, but at the same time....these tough times gave us these jams!
As someone living with depression, I'm listening to all the songs I listened to around the time of my diagnosis many years ago. A lot has changed since then, but these songs never will. They are a constant. The feelings the evoke will always be the same. Life goes on, and I won't say it gets better quickly because that cannot be applied to everyone, but even at your lowest you're still worth more than the things you tell yourself.
Hi I recommend a song here on youtube called 'Looking Into The Mirror' By Robert Nix
Depression is basically a problem with diet and lack of physical exercise/Sun.
As someone who also has had severe depression all my life, inattentive ADHD, and generalized anxiety… Yes. When I look back at where I was emotionally even just 5 years ago let alone 30 years ago in the 90s, it’s like night and day. I never realize just how much work went into getting to this point until I try to explain it to people. Then the realization of just how bad it was and all the trauma that any normal person would never tolerate hits me like a bag of bricks to the head. I’m horrified by the place I was at mentally at that time and I’m so grateful I’m not there anymore. I’m proof that it takes an incredible amount of work and patience, but it can be done. Somewhere, somehow there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
@@Soulflytribe04 Du scheinst wirklich Ahnung zum Thema Depressionen zu haben ...
@@johannesbuekkler3150 Ok
I'm 72 1/2 and I can relate to this big time. I tried to avoid things I encountered when I raised my kids and helped with grandkids. The grands trust me helping with and baby sitting the great grands who are 2, 3, and 4. They say it's like having them in the care of a loving human pit bull due to my military record and similar civilian protective occupations.
I don't think he knew how beautiful his voice is. I know he must've heard it thousands of times but... my word...he haunts me still after twenty five years
Curtis Lemansky
On one hand this song seems so simple, and yet it’s extremely complex at the same time. It will never age.
I’m 39 and this song still makes me feel something
Me too!
Yes, his voice and those strings gets me every time.
Reggie Moore 39 too. Discovered this right after I turned 14.
I'll never outgrow the Pumpkins. I'm 58. I haven't heard this song in probably 10 years but it feels like just last week that I was driving around the Bay Area, blasting Siamese Dream....
Same here.
Just went to their concert tonight and this song instantly brought tears in my eyes. Definitely one of the greatest songs that are timeless.
I'm 17 again, playing my guitar and singing Disarm from the very depth of my inner adolescent vulnerability. I'm 40 now... Always going back in time when I hear this song.
😂😂😂😂😂
amazing keep going! got a shot of life keep it! it withers to soon amongst mortals...
Amen to that. Youth is wasted on the young
So deep...👏🙏
Im with u, I was a 14 yr old girl crushing on beautiful billy, now I'm almost 40 :-(
Wow, the instrumentation in this song is amazing
ikr
The string arrangements written on the fly in the studio by corgan and performed by a cellist and violinist
@@werideatdusk This was on-the-fly?! WOW.
A producer turned me on to them we explored alternative music Oasis etc college days Cheers love ya
thats what drew my attention
To think these songs are nearing their 3rd decade in age... songs like this are what make you realize its not just nostalgia making you think things are good. We all had such genuinely great music growing up.
The 90s were incredible for music. 😵 I'm primarily a Death/Black Metal listener, but I also loved a lot of Grunge and Alternative Rock when I was a teenager back then… I make it a point to never love something solely based on "nostalgia", so I totally agree with you. This was excellent music back then and it's even better now with age! 💀
30 years old yesterday 👌🏻🫶🏻
Holy crap, it's been like 30 years since I heard this song. I'm on a nostalgic bender lately and wow, this song is making me teary eye. Beautiful song.
theres something truly empowering yet heartbreaking about this song and how hes choosing to no longer let his trauma hold him back. hes proving he will not continue a cycle and will not let his parents torment him any longer. he chose happiness and that is beautiful and heart wrenching
I thought I read somewhere that it was dedicated to his mother who died from cancer?
This simply was Smashing Pumpkins best song ever.
I’d argue “Tonight, Tonight” is their best song ever.
Agree... you have to understand the depth of his emotional experience in this one..
@@hunnedproofproductions5529 Disarm could've been easily a track on Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness, only Disarm was years ahead of Tonight, Tonight. That's why I feel it's their best ever. I'd agree that Mellon Collie was the SP's best album though.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Smashing_Pumpkins_discography#Studio_albums
It's a top song alright, bit I think I slightly prefer "Today".
@@FergalNash yes it another great one
Never heard of the smashing pumpkins before, heard this on MTV and kept rewinding it. I'm 63 and I love it. ❤❤ thanks pumpkins 🎃 ❤
Literally best song ever transcends time and space
Agreed!
One of the most beautiful songs ever composed
One of those songs that just keeps sounding better and better no matter how often or rarely you hear it. Hopefully this time I'll actually memorize the title!
This song takes me back... For those readers between the ages of 12-20... really listen to music you like... when you are old (like me) the music will make you feel things that photos and videos won't about your old days.
This song is so painful...
Disarm you with a smile
And cut you like you want me to
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you
Ooh, the years burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what i choose is my choice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
Disarm you with a smile
And leave you like they left me here
To wither in denial
The bitterness of one who's left alone
Ooh, the years burn
Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn
I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes
And what I choose is my voice
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you
My love
I send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
The killer in me is the killer in you
Send this smile over to you
+Simeon Petkov Very Painful
truthful
+Simeon Petkov I think this is the most autobyographical song by Billie Corgan, since he admitted to have been victim of abuses during his childhood... very sad, indeed. But i love this song.
s
+Carolina Ricarte Not as painful as an ad before each and every fucking Pumpkins VEVO song. Disarm VEVO. Despite all my rage for this cunt channel, I am still just a rat in a CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!
2:40 when the full orchestra comes crashing down gives me goosebumps. What a powerful song.
A ocean of poetry. Thank you!
The orchestras are what set this band apart from others
Me 2 big time
this song makes me cry all the time it's so beautiful I can understand the loneliness
CUANDO MUERAS NO PODRAS VOLVER A LLORAR.
Amen
THIS SONG IS AMAZING
I love seeing the sky in black and white like in this video because the sky is so unique. Every second might be a totally new sky that hasn't existed forever. This video was recorded somewhere in 1993 and I'd like to think that, in that day I gazed upon the sky and saw the same sky as is in the video and thought to myself how beautiful the sky was. I'm so drunk and nostalgic right now.
Needed more then 10 likes, so 11 comes from a retired TV meteorologist. Good comment!
Captain Bligh me too. Me too.
@@ChristopherSaindon wow my brother who showed me smashing pumpkins when I was 8 is in college to be a meteorologist. He says he's gonna chase storms in Oklahoma.
Ahhh me listening to this on repeat after my alcoholic dad and drug addicted mom put me through a seemingly endless hell. As sad as I was to be alone by 12, I was happy they were gone. Thanks music, you never left. And I'm forever thankful.
Sounds like a tough time buddy, you've learnt so much through the misery, you'll be an amazing parent/role model.
Wish the best for you
I'm sorry, takes a lot to get through that kind of hurt.
God bless you
Beautiful flowers like you, often grow out of filth. Let your pain be fertilizer to your many blossoms.
2023 and still singing out loud with eyes closed to this song and feeling it deep inside! Best teenage years ever!
Hellyeah man 🤟🏻
This song is about courtney love and billy corgan setting up kurt cobain and offing him in his seattle home.
Good song though.
Love this song
Almost 2024!
This is so good but you must hear “The Wave” or “Whispering Wolf” by SLT 🤘🐺🎹🐺🤘
This song brings back the feelings of your traumatic childhood but somehow soothes those feelings at the same time. It is a strange, sad, and beautiful sensation. This song is a wonderful piece of artistic expression.
I think it makes you realize you aren't alone and somehow that makes it bearable.
This song should be used to start movies dealing with abuse or just suicidal related movies.such a powerful message in this song wish Smashing Pumkins still made music like this.
Here's to everyone who didn't have a perfect happy childhood but instead a rather dark, sad, and lonely one.
I second that...
@zio420 He was abused by his step mother I believe, which is what this song is about
I'm glad I've had such a dark, hard and challenging life, it's made me who I am today and I'm proud of who I am today. No one can ever bring me down anymore because I see through people now. They're weak and I'm strong. Nasty weak people are scared of people like me. Be proud of who you are today!! xxx
No one had a perfect childhood, stupid. Sorry my parents loved me..
J' would be your childhood playmate anytime! Femme fatale ad ifinitum!
Remember always be nice to someone. You don't know what they are going through.
You can only be nice to others when you are nice to yourself.
Yes always
😅@@bcellable
This just might be the Pumpkin's greatest song ever written. The emotion from Corgon combined with the simple yet direct lyrics cut right through you to the very core. The instrumentation is beautiful too, with that strange ability to evoke pain yet assuage it at the same time. I often think that it feels more at home on Mellon Collie than on Siamese Dream.
We, the broken children of the 90s, welcome 2021 with this song with open arms. No irony intended
I’m rediscovering it now it means more as an adult 😢
The phrase "the years burn" hits me with a new strength, after all these years:)
This song means everything to me.
@Philthy McNasty wow you're so right about that that trauma is deep
To all the Punk kids who were young adults being rewarded with what was this music. I remember this playing in 92 or 93 at McDonald's putting my baby on the counter and having some old witch tell me off lol
Corgan was a ridiculously underrated songwriter. He also wrote the lyrics to my favorite Breaking Benjamin song.
Yes.
Yeah he was definitely 1 of the best songwriters have all the time It is voice but so unique They'll never be another lake him ever They'll never be another like him ever again smashing pumpkins or 1 of my favorite bands ever out there would like Linkin park
Which song ?
@@jacobrobinson4444 I think he wrote a couple but the one I was referring to was "Forget It". I believe he also wrote the lyrics to "Rain" but I won't swear to that.
@@mikefort7449ty
It's rough when you cannot disarm someone with a smile. This song is brilliant.
Only song known to bring me back to that dark room. Reflecting to still heal while forgiveness becomes so hard to let go!
I hope your inner-child finds peace 🕊️
A timeless masterpiece.
2:40 when the full orchestra comes crashing down gives me goosebumps. What a powerful song.
Couldn't agree more. I'm 58 and this song still chokes me up every time.
You should check out two steps from hell Thomas. Really similar sounding orchestra group
this is literally one of the greatest songs ever (1979, and thirty-three, and TODAY, and Ava Adore, and "Eye" from the lost highway soundtrack) are all great too, but this one...this is it for me
Such a haunting masterpiece of a song. His voice--I honestly cannot imagine anyone else singing this and conveying the haunting, melanchonic pain that he does. No one else should ever cover this song.
The orchestras are what set this band apart from others
Agreed. To this day, the band, especially Billy, have a great respect for orchestras and classical music that is unmatched by any other band in their caliber that I can think of.
This song helped me get through a lot of tough times-in childhood and adulthood. Thank you Billy Corgan for your musical genius!!
Every time I hear this song it makes me think of "The Shield" when Lem says goodbye to the strike team.. Damn I loved that show!!!
Me too fantastic show. Great soundtrack
+Elduderino H that's exactly why im here, been rewatching the whole thing- fuckign awesome show
+Luis Fernández del Castillo Kasten Same here. I'm about to finish it for the first time and I don't want to.
+Jonas Osvaldo Mendoza girls
the best show ever loved it
One of my favorites and was so shook to hear it while watching The Bear.
When I hear this song I remember laying on my bed listening to this entire album on CD and flicking through the liner notes. It was such a magical experience. Even then I knew I would always remember that time in my life when I was 14 and hearing all this amazing music for the first time.
This melody is beautiful. I did not appreciate the Smashing Pumpkins enough in the late 90s as I should have. It was just another one of many different and "indie" bands playing on MTV. Now I see their sound stood the test of time.
And sometimes I wonder, how can some people live their lifes without knowing who The Smashing Pumpkins are..
dalys Thelame exactly :)
Tell me about it. Some people just don't know how to life.
dalys Thelame
Why worry, chum?
Enjoy your life.
older people like me. i luv this band
Right my neice has no clue what real music is! The whole era she will never know good music!isn't that depressing😄
One of the greatest songs of all time
Amazing how Billy takes something so sad and uses it to create something beautiful. True art
Yet another underated classic from the pumpkins!
This resonates with all the young boys who grew up in rough families and households during this time period.
I’ve loved SP from the beginning, just digging their sounds and rocking out and then all these decades later, I see so many comments from people my age saying that SP saved their life. This brings tears to my eyes and I completely understand. I’m so glad you’re here today, so we can keep enjoying the music together.
90s music is heaven. The world will never be the same....
:( I wish we could go back in time.... so sad... sigh.
Agree...
I have to agree, I was a kid in the 90s and my favourite music is still that I heard as a kid.
Romy, you're so lucky! i was born in 95 and honestly don't remember anything from the 90s. other than looking back on old baby toddler photos and reminscing...
Allusice prior to 2000 is heaven....grunge, new wave, punk, heavy metal, stadium rock..all produced legends...
Now the music industry produces shame and shlt.....
No songs ever hit me on an emotional feeling as hard as this one has. Divorce and child abuse is my childhood, and it still hurts. Even though I'm pretty much grown up now. I'm never putting my kid through the shit my dad put me through. The only thing he ever taught me was what type of parent and husband to not be.
So damn intense, felt to the core. Hauntingly beautiful. I love Bill Corgan's voice and crushed on James Iha.
This is music at its greatest. I remember being a teen waiting for this to play daily on MTV so I could recapture the joy I felt everytime I heard this. Absolutely beautiful.
It is absolutely marvelous how this song will make you feel. Every time.
Hi I recommend a song and video called 'Looking Into The Mirror' By Robert Nix
When I was 5 years old this song was a very important piece of music to me. I didn't know how to express my feelings or how I could feel so lonely and abandoned by my parents right inside of my home. I didn't understand, I used to listen to this song on a cassette Walkman and it was my comforter. Years later I find out this is exactly what Billy wrote the song about. Words cant express my gratitude!
WOW
This is one of his best songs, I'm very proud I've covered it because the songs is like personal to me. The lyrics just get to you, very powerful. It's a sad story of his younger abusive life.
this song makes me feel young and old at the same time, prachtig liedje!
I loved being a 90s teen!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Me too!
Me tooooooo!!! And there were no mobile phones yet, so nobody could fucking know where you were!!! 😂😂😂 The last generation who actually knew the meaning of words like FREEDOM! And bands like SP, with songs like this, remember that wonderful feeling.
Absolutly !
me to class of 99 baby
I second that. Class of 95
Never fails to give chills up the spine.
Gemini Guitar just played now on the radio, for the ocasion of its 25 years, first it gave me chills then made me cry.
Masterpiece
QUE SIGNIFICA CHILLS??
@@11palomito11 Escalofrios
Gemini Guitar
same chord progression as Cranberries Zombie
get it?
Disarm You...
PORQUE DICES ESO??
I’m 16 and love this song and all of smashing pumpkin’s masterpieces
My God, is this song a true emotion shaker. I love it and feel it all within me. Yes, the years burn indeed.
Billy Corgan is a musical genius
He literally is. He wrote some sort of musical aptitude test when he was 14 and scored so high on it that they thought he cheated so they made him rewrite it and he got an even higher score then the first time!🤘
fact
I think of him as the Pete Townsend of his era.
He’s up there as a lyricist too
This song brings back memories
Anyone else ever cry to this song or am I the only one?
May this bring peace to everyone who deserves it ❤️
'the years burn. Oooo...the years burn'. I have pondered over this verse for the last 30 years. And as ive gotten older. Each year goes by faster & faster. Almost 'burning up in flames' fast. The last 20 years have been a blur, but never a dull moment & neir a regret. 'the years burn'. Rock on. 🎸❤️🎸
They don't make songs that tug at the heart strings like this one anymore. So much raw emotion, love it!
Every time I come to this video I try to add it to my favorites, and then I realize _IT ALREADY IS._
Luke Reed I think it's early sign of Alzheimer
Bahareh Ha lulz ^
Luke Reed Smoke more weed.
smoke one with him prob out and needs it
Everything about this song is perfect. From the writing, to the performance, to the production.
True
My ex husband was intelligent but lacked empathy.